A Year With The Brotherhood
by Bored J-rod
Summary: Follow the Brotherhood through an average year. Rated for occasional language or refrence. Please Review, I need to know what to improve. I actually updated! Not a very good chapter, sorry.
1. Aug 25, First Day of School

Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), afew of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these).

Okay the first chapters are bad, I know. A couple people say it gets better. I plan to rewrite all this once I finish.

**August 25 - Friday - First Day of School**

--------------------

After causing both Mystique and Magneto to run off screaming for their mommies (Wanda regained her memories), the Brotherhood hadn't paid much attention to the goings on of the world until they received letters, telling them what their classes would be at Bayville High. The Brotherhood spent several hours of one Friday "liberating" (depending on your moral compass) school supplies.

"'orning" A very tired Fred muttered before shoving an entire box of cereal down his throat.

"Why are we going to school, yo" an annoyingly awake Todd asked as he cornered his breakfast.

"Because we have for some strange reason been invited back. Mag-nuts probably got that done before he went to a happy place." Lance replied.

"I've never been to school before, maybe I should bring some voodoo dolls? Just in case." Wanda walked into the crowded kitchen.

"And" Lance added in a whisper, "I don't want to say no to driving Wanda there."

And like that the slightly insane Brotherhood entered a school populated with mutant haters.

--------------------

**Pietro and Todd's First Period Ethics Class, Mr Lowe's**

Upon entering the class a small chill went down the spin of the teacher. The teacher like all teacher has an intuition. This gut feeling allows teachers to take one look at a student and know how hard it would be to teach said student. The teacher literally shook when he looked at Todd. When he looked at Pietro wearing glasses, he nearly had a seizure. The only other student that trip his Teacher Sense™ was a student wearing a letter jacket, a student who he was sure had been a senor last year, Duncan.

Resigning himself to another year of hell the teacher began to teach after handing out the standard stuff that needed to be filled out because the records of students names, SSN, and birthday seemed to vanish over the summer. The first thing he began with was a lecture on property, It was five minutes into the lecture that he noticed Pietro struggling to see through thick glass.

"Mister..." Mr. Lowe the teach glanced at this seating chart, "Maximoff, is something wrong"

"Yeah, how does that geek see through these things?" Pietro answered.

"Are you saying you stole those?" Mr. Lowe gasped.

"Yeah, why?" Pietro had a confused look on his face.

Mr. Lowe looked at the other students and he saw Todd messing with his gold watch. "My watch!" reaching the grab his families' prized heirloom he noticed that Duncan was copying answers from his stolen teaching book. "My book! All three of you detention!" The class went down hill from there.

--------------------

**Wanda's First Period US History Class, Coach Carpenter's**

Walking in to first period Wanda was for once in her true life looking forward to something other than killing her dad. In her class were 3 of the X-Men, Rouge, Tabitha, and Rahne who's parents had decided that Xavier's was really safer than home. Her hopes for school were dashed in five minutes when the teacher began a dry lecture about the civil rights era.

Tabitha, true to her character, made it more interesting by getting the teacher into a heated debate on the similarities between blacks and mutants. Wanda hoping to help teach the bigot of a teacher a lesson used her probability changing powers to cause the blackboard write 'DIE THOSE WHO APPOSE ME'. Wanda had no clue why she wrote these but she was pretty sure it had to do with a false memory Mesmro had planted about her watching a horror film involving a ghost.

"AHGG! THE SCHOOL IS HAUNTED IT IS THOSE DEMONS, THE DEMONS WEREN'T MUTANTS THEY ARE DEMONS!" The hated teacher began the foam at the mouth at run around the room before she left leaving a class consisting of mostly girls by themselves.

"So? Truth or dare anyone?" Tabitha asked innocently.

"I'm in" came the replies from many of the girls, most not caring about them being mutants because they had just gotten ride of the teacher in under 15 minutes.

"I'll start," Rouge said, "Rahne, truth or dare?"

"Truth" Rahne bravely spoke.

Rouge got an evil glint in her eye "Was there a guy while you were away? And how far did you get with him?"

"I haven't said if I meet anyone." Rahne wilted under Rouges glare, "We went skinny dipping." This caused the crowd to break out in laughter.

Rahne glared at the gathered girls, "Tabitha, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Tabitha answered confidently.

"Did ye and Kurt ever, ye know" Rahne asked hoping to get back at the girl that had suggested this evil game.

"No he is a bloody catholic." Tabitha said with smile. This got her desired laughs. The class continued in much the same way with each girl being embarrassed.

--------------------

**Fred's First Period Home EC. Class, Mrs. Cline's**

Home EC. with 'The Blob' was predictable, the teacher went mad after trying to stop Fred from eating all the ingredients, and Fred took over teaching. Every student learned a lot, while Fred would eat anything he was a picky cook.

--------------------

**Lance, Kitty, and Kurt's First Period AP Statistics, Mr. Halif**

After Kurt insulted Lance and a few freak earthquakes the class went by normally even with three mutants.

--------------------

**Todd, Wanda, and Fred's Second Period Home EC. Class, Mrs. Cline's**

Last period Fred had driven the teacher out of the school into the waiting arms of the school's rich shrink. Now Fred was teaching because no one bothered to tell Principle Bloominghantranfishcomoncalit (Principle B) about Mrs. Cline.

"Great the blobs teaching us how to eat." Wanda walked through the door.

On hearing this Toad felt a strange need to defend his friend from his crush, "Yo, who do you think has been cooking our gourmet meals ever since we got money for the ingredients?"

"Really?" Wanda was shocked at this.

"Yup," Toad was amazed that she wasn't hexing him into Canada "Freddy can cook, always has, he just hasn't had good ingredients."

The rest of the period was the same, cooking eating, and a general good time with the 'hood, for humans and mutants. Sadly any human-mutant relationships that were built were destroyed when class ended due to peer pressure.

--------------------

**Lance and Kitty's Second Period AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck**

Mrs. Boontuck being a Mutie hater gave both Lance and Kitty detention for merely entering the room. What she didn't realize is that it was her turn to have detention and both Lance and Kitty were plotting revenge.

--------------------

**Pietro, Bobby, Ray, Roberto, and Kurt's Second Period US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

Coach Carpenter was still attempting to get a exorcist to come cleanse the school when class started. This class being mainly of guys didn't have as many conversations involving relationships, instead it was full of Football players insulting Mutants, and Pietro insulting humans. Luckily for the Football players the X-Men couldn't use their powers at school and Pietro was to scared to fight alone. Luckily for Pietro the Football players knew the reason for their 50 year losing streak.

--------------------

**Toad's First Lunch and Third Period English II, Mrs. Mandy**

Due to over crowding in the school, the school had to split lunch into three lunches, one before third period, one during third, and one after third. Unfortunately for Toad he was a weak hated mutant all alone in first Lunch.

"Here Toady, here toady" Duncan sneered from his hiding space behind a door.

"Yo, Duncan what up?" Toad was very nervous, "If this is about your car I didn't do it."

"MY CAR? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?" Duncan was now scared for his to love's 'life'.

"I said I did do it, yo." At this Duncan ran off to the student parking lot.

When he arrived there he found his car in perfect condition. Of course when he finally got back to the lunchroom Todd was far into the line to get food.

Being the bully that is Duncan he began to push his way through the crowd. He made the mistake of shoving pass a student named John. John is a senor on the football team, one who went through an one foot growth spirt, the same John that last year Duncan had picked on. Due to the repressed anger that John had from being picked on, he lashed out at the object of his anger, poor old Duncan. Of course the rest of the football team, hating the fact that Duncan bought his way onto the team, helped.

Laughing at Duncan's predicament Todd went to English class where he made the teacher scream from his over use of 'yo'.

--------------------

The rest of the day for everyone was as uneventful as it could be it you had a bunch of mutants and mutant haters in one building.

--------------------

**Detention (with Mrs. Boontuck), Duncan, Kitty, Lance, Todd, Fred, Pietro, and Tabitha**

"Well, look at this, we got a flunking student." Pietro, being Pietro, was making fun of everything and everyone right now it is Duncan.

"Your failing to pie." Tabitha being Tabitha was picking on Pietro.

"My name is Pietro!" Not Pie!" Pietro hated Tabitha's nickname for him.

"So ... Kitty, What are you in for?" Tabitha ignored Pietro's screams for respect.

"Being a mutant." Kitty's eyes told the assembled mutants that she was plotting murder.

"You Toad?" Tabitha asked, hoping to get someone saner to answer.

"Stealing a teacher's watch that has been in his family for years." Todd said, not moving his eyes from the teachers platinum bracelet.

"Freddy? Lance? Dunc-" Tabitha began, "Weren't you a senor last year?"

"Yeah, someone must have changed my grades. I HAD A SOLID D- AVERAGE I DID NOT FAIL!" Duncan began to foam at the mouth.

"Okay, Lance? Fred? Why are you in here?" Tabitha was starting to get scared.

"Principle B found out I was teaching Home EC." Fred Began to sob, "I didn't eat everything I have standards."

"Same as Kitty, Mrs. Bum-truck hates mutants." Lance was like Tabitha getting scared, but like Kitty was plotting revenge.

By the time the mutants got out of there Tabitha had started a small physiologist business, were she diagnosed that Mrs. Boontuck was taking her anger out on mutants because her boyfriend had had his hair dyed blue. She also made lots of money by charging by the minute. After her session Mrs. Boontuck had disappeared into the janitor's closet to 'apologize' for leaving him.

"Even if she was mad at her boyfriend I want revenge." Kitty was talking to other detained mutants as they waited in the parking lot. No one else said anything to stop her this might have been because they agreed, or her crazed look.

"Maybe I should sit on Principle B's car" Fred stared at the small European car the new Principle drove. "Hey ever wonder what else B stands for?"

"I know what it means, Bastard, Bitch-" Tabitha began to list various words.

"Yo, don't you have to be a girl to be a bitch?" Todd was getting scared by both Fred and Kitty.

"He had a sex change, trust me I know." Pietro stated as if it was the most common thing in the world.

"You and Wanda are identical twins aren't you?" Now Lance was getting scared at the information that should only come up in Band Camp.

"No fraternal, I just once saw him and secretary in an ally behind that pizza place." Pietro said in his usual high pitched voice making everyone wonder if he was lying.

"So, Clinton did that with an intern?" Fred had stopped staring at the car.

"Yeah but Cliton's intern was female, Mr. Braisly isn't." Pietro replied as if that was normal.

"So he could be a guy and just be gay?" Fred wasn't following Pietro.

"He had no equipment." Pietro was use to Fred's slow wittiness by now.

"Oh, so that's why Braisly got the raise." Fred finally understood, "How'd you get close enough to see? Why'd you get close enough!"

"I plead the fifth." Pietro stated simply as Lance considered byeing a lock for his door.

"Tabitha, can you hand me a Time Bomb?" Kitty hadn't noticed any of the conversation around her. Tabitha handed her one without thinking. "Maybe we should leave now." Kitty said eyeing the Officer Lents, Campus Cop. It was then that Tabitha realized her mistake.

"HEY! That's not how you get revenge, you have to draw the process out!" Tabitha was slighty mad at Kitty.

BOOM

"RUN!" Todd screamed as the teens scattered when Lents started running to the blast.

It took the teens two hours to lose Lents. It took another three hours to lose the dogs that had started following them when they jumped into the Police Dog Academies' back yard. Surprisinly when Kitty and Tabitha got home no one had heard anything about it

--------------------

**Brotherhood House. A run down building with a crater in the front a collection of garden gnomes in back (_see Red Witch's fictions_). The best looking part of the entire house was a scary, freshly painted, red, 'BH'**

"Whats up with the blood, yo?" Todd was getting scared.

"I don't know, I'm just glad we lost the dogs in Mr. Patersinson's yard." Fred replied dully.

"Yeah, good thing he has two hundred cats. is wanted in 37 states, and had a yard full of marijuana." Todd replied.

"GOOD? GOOD? WHERE AM I GOING TO BUY-" Lance stopped mid sentence, "I mean, I can't believe Pietro took my jeep. I didn't know my car could go that fast. At least he got it here in one peice."

"Yo, if Wanda and Pietro are here alone, and Wanda is obsessed with blood..." now Todd was truly afraid.

The three guys ran into the house to see the strangest sight. Wanda had a skeleton on the table Pietro was watching the news trying to raise their lawyer on the phone.

"This is Trish speaking." the Brother Hood turned to the TV, "At the same time as the dogs busted Mr. John Lendalindi or Miky Patersinson homicide detectives found the cause of the recent lawyer murders. A practicer of witch craft has been using their bones in various spells and as a source of income because, and I quote, 'All witchs know how hard it is to get bones from pure evil people, because almost everyone has a little good in them, lawyers don't'" The brotherhood turned to the table.

"What I thought it was fake." Wanda started to get defensive. She looked at the skeleton, "Hey he has a watch, 'Micheal Pitmore.' Isn't that our lawyer's name?"

At that Pietro threw the phone down. "When dad gets back he will punish you for hurting the only lawyer willinbg to work for us."

"I didn't know these bones were real, I thought they were fake!" Wanda snapped, "Besides I am animating them to fight daddy dearest."

"What about the free gallon of human blood they came with?" Pietro snapped

"I figured she robbed a blood bank, I didn't here you complain when I painted the 'hood sign!" Lights started to flicker.

"YOU USED THE BLOOD I THOUGH YOU WERE USING RED PAINT!" Pietro was starting to panic.

"CALM BOTH OF YOU!" Now Lance was getting into it. "We we have to do is add the body to our animal grave yard, and wash the blood. No one will know." (_See Red Witch's Fics to learn of the grave yard_).

"We will know" Fred said as he grabbed a shovel.

And with that the Brotherhood had a funeral only to go back inside and see that the News was now saying that it was in fact fake bones and the witch screaming about evil bones was a publicity stunt. The witch also turned out to be a fraud. The watch with the lawyer's name was because the witch put one on every lawyer so that other witches would think it was real. All the lawyer's who had had their names put on skeletons sued the poor fraud for using their name without permission. The bones turned out to be stolen from an art gallery and were made of clay and red paint. The blood was stolen from a blood bank.

--------------------

_A/N This chapter is over. It might be awhile before I update (I have band almost every day)_

_Things from my school_

_-Racist teacher_

_-Teacher who foams at mouth_

_-3 lunch periods (third lunch sucks)_

_-class were all the girls played truth or dare._

_-various other things_


	2. Aug 26, Leader

Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), afew of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these).

**August 26 - Saturday - Bringing Down a House**

--------------------

**Brother Hood House**

As dawn cracked the mutants got up for a normal morning ritual, fighting over the TV.

"Pokemon!" Todd shouted.

"NO! That show is degrading to mutants. It teaches people that powers are nothing more than weapons to be used for personal gain." Pietro was trying to watch a soap opera.

"You use your powers for personal gain." Lance walked in not realizing what they were fighting over.

"Yes, they are my powers, not someone Else's." Pietro used his warped logic.

"What about using my slime in pranks?" Todd asked.

"That's different." Pietro answered.

"How so?" Fred walked in the front door after using Magneto's unlimited bank account to buy food.

"I said so. And I am the Leader!" Pietro was once again using warped logic.

"Lance is a better leader than you!" Wanda snapped from her chair were she was using her powers to make a card house stay up.

"ISNOTISNOTISNOT!" Pietro's body shook with anger at super speed.

"I AM TOO A BETTER LEADER!" Lance was now defending his honor.

"NO I AM. I AM BETTER LOOKING. SMARTER. FASTER. I AM GOD!" Pietro screamed as the assembled mutants edged away from him.

"I AM SPARTACUS!" Lance shouted causing the mutants to move away from him.

"Let's settle this with a contest, yo." Todd was hoping make money in blackmail.

"I'll get the popcorn." Fred liked this idea because he was bored. Wanda loves torturing Pietro.

--------------------

**Task 1, Brother Hood Backyard, pet cemetery in the far back right corner, a gnome cult in the back left. (_see Red Witch's Fics_)**

"Task one!" Todd began, "Get the most gnome statues from around town." Todd's eyes began to water at the thought of gnomes. "Ready," The two contestants crouched down, "Set," their right leg went back, "GO BRING ME MY ARMY OF LOYAL GNOMES!" The two leaders paused before running off.

Soon Pietro was returning with thousands of gnomes. An hour later it was decided that Pietro had cleaned Lance's clock.

--------------------

**Task 2, Mall**

Wanda glared at the rest of the Brotherhood, "Task two is simple, Kelly is giving a speech here, wreck it." With that Todd, Fred, and Wanda all left preferring to watch the evening news for details.

Pietro immediately jumped into various pranks involving riots and the pet store. Lance on the other hand saw the group of Jewish supporters and stole the speech cards.

Quickly scanning the cards he saw that the last words were 'We will crush these mutants.' Lance began to write on it 'After they are gone we will crush the Jews, then the blacks. HAIL HITLER.' He then placed the cards were he found them.

Kelly began his speech "Ever since these mutants have existed their has been trouble."

"So forever? Mutants didn't just pop out of no where." Pietro cut in.

Shooting Pietro a glare he continued, "They have used their powers in immoral ways."

"Hey we X-man have like never used our powers wrong!" Kitty screamed from some preppy clothes store.

"Pretty Kitty..." Lance's eyes glazed over as he stared at her being dragged off with Pietro by security. With most of the mutants dragged off Kelly went on with his speech undisturbed, the Jewish gathering and Black Rights group were cheering him on until he shouted out Lance's addition.

The entire mall grew quiet and in the distance background a baby began to cry. Kelly looked down at his cards and realized what he had said. Slowly a cheer went up from the KKK gathering. Both groups of minorities began to approach the stage with murder in their eyes.

Kelly began to run from the mod and the news crew while the various racist groups defended him.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

After Pietro managed to get home he and the other Brotherhood members were gathered around the TV watching the riots that were tearing up the entire town.

"I think Lance won this one." Fred said simply as Lance walked in the back door.

"Hide me." Lance whimpered, "Some people are having a mutant hunt." The others noticed his torn clothes and heard the TV start talking about freak earthquakes.

--------------------

**2 hours later, Burger Home (new burger restaurant they go to after being banned from all others) Lance and Pietro glaring at each other at one table, while Fred, Todd, and Wanda plot at another.**

"Yo, whats the next challenge?" Todd glanced at the other two.

"We could have them raise an army of the dead to kill my dad." Wanda acted like that was the most logical thing.

"We could have them raise cattle instead." Fred was hoping to get her off the murder kick she was on.

"How about we see who can make the most money at the fair they are having." Todd stated, not wanting to kill anyone or deal with cows.

"Fine, don't help me on my quest for vengeance." Wanda snapped.

"It's not that sugarplum, your dad is impossible to find, not even his haired help can find him, and they want revenge for not being paid." Todd said smiling at her.

--------------------

**Task 3, Fair, X-men are there.**

Okay guys, it's simple, get money." Fred stated before running of to a soon to be broke vendor.

Pietro began to run around stealing from anyone and everyone. Lance on the other hand began to create a distraction with his powers and robbed a few vaults by some rigged games.

Both Mutants continued to steal as the night wore on. After an hour or two the X-men caught up to Pietro who was taking a break by flirting with a beautiful Cotton Candy Vendor who appeared to want to die.

"HEY! give me back my wallet!" Ray was one of Pietro's victims.

"What wallet? You don't have a wallet." Pietro replied.

"I DON'T HAVE IT BECAUSE YOU STOLE IT!" Ray began to spark. One of the sparks bounced off in to the cotton candy machine causing it to spin faster.

"Help." The Candy Girl was getting scared.

"Listen pikachu, just because you can't watch a piece of leather gives you no right to blame me." Pietro said calmly.

"LEATHER?" Kitty snapped, "YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE A LEATHER WALLET YOU MURDERER!" she grabbed a can of sugar, "DIE MURDERER SAVE THE COWS, VEGANS FOR LIFE!"

Soon an all out brawl started, predictably the Candy Girl's booth was burned to the ground. "MY BOOTH! NOW HOW AM I GONNA GET INTO HARVARD?" The poor girl began to cry.

"There, there, Mindy." Pietro rubbed her back.

"MY NAME IS SARAH!" She sobbed harder.

"Is there anything I can do?" Pietro asked, at that she fell silent.

An evil smile spread across her face as she looked at the wallet in Pietro's hands.

--------------------

**Brotherhood living room, all except Fred.**

"Okay? So, you destroyed a girls future, gave her lots of money, took her to the most expensive restaurant in town and then got pepper sprayed for trying to get in her pants?" Wanda was looking at her brother who had less money than he started with.

"Lance on the other hand made over ten thousand dollars, and then lost it all trying to win a stuffed dragon for Kitty." Fred added.

"I GOT THAT DRAGON! HAHAHAHA NO GAME CAN BEAT ME!" Lance began to laugh hysterically.

"You only won it because Sugar-cookie changed the probabilities." Todd pointed out.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Wanda snapped while throwing a hex bolt at Todd.

"I WON IT FAIR AND SQUARE!" Lance shouted at the same time.

"NO YOU DIDN'T I DID IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO USE ALL THE MONEY THAT WAY YOU COULD BEAT MY BROTHER!" Wanda threw a hex bolt at him.

"YOU WERE HELPING LANCE BEAT ME!" Now Pietro was in the fight. The fight continued for several minutes removing around two walls before Fred walked in the front door. Which was ironically the only part of that wall standing.

"Hey guys I got some money from this one raffle thing." Fred acted like nothing was different.

"Boys." Wanda turned to the three other fighters, "Meet the new leader of the Brotherhood."

"NOOOO!" Lance and Pietro screamed in pain.

"Good job Freddy." Todd hopped over to Fred, "Finally decent leadership."

"What about the week I lead?" Wanda snapped.

"That was good to ... " Todd had a impending feeling of doom.

"DIE!" Wanda began to chase the amphibian around the room.

"So, Great Leader, what do we do?" Lance turned to Fred ignoring the screams of pain.

"Eat dinner?" Fred asked.

"It's eleven o'clock." Pietro stated looking at the broken clock on the wall.

"That clocks broken, it's only ten." Lance said calmly.

"Okay, as the Greatest Leader of the Brotherhood, I say Pietro you go steal a clock. Lance you go stop Wanda from killing Toad-" Fred began to give orders.

"Why me?" Lance whimpered.

"She likes you." Fred stated simply.

"She caste a love spell on me." Lance whined.

"No I won't, and I don't love you." Wanda walked back in.

"Where's the pond scum?" Pietro asked.

"HE IS NOT POND SCUM!" Wanda snapped, "I mean he is getting the clock, because he explained that it was Pietro who caused all the troubles when I was in charge, and as such Pietro soon won't be able to get the clock."

"So, we got two hours till tomorrow, what do we do fearless Leader?" Pietro redirected Wanda's short attention span (most of her attention was used up by her dad).

"I know." Fred grinned evilly.

--------------------

**Arcade's House, underneath Arcade's window.**

Pietro was throwing rocks at the window. After five minutes of throwing Arcade finally opened up.

"Pietro? Why are you here?" Arcade realized what he was doing to his window, "Sorry Petey boy, I don't swing that way."

"WHAT! I am perfectly straight!" Pietro shouted causing a neighbor's dog to bark.

"This coming from the guy who has more make up than Miss goth here." Lance snickered.

"QUIET FOOL!" Wanda snapped.

"You're all here?" Webber Looked at them, "Wanda can come up if she wants, you guys have to wait out here."

"WHAT I WOULD NEVER BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU GEEK!" Wanda snapped.

"Yeah, shes mine, yo." Todd added.

"AND I DON"T DATE REPTILES!" She was now yelling at Todd.

"Good thing I'm an amphibian." Todd said.

"DIE!" She threw a hex bolt at Todd, missed and cause Arcade to fall out, Arcade was fully dressed.

"Why you fully dressed?" Wanda's short attention span stopped her from killing Todd.

"I haven't gone to bed yet." He said.

"Why not?" Fred looked at him, "I thought your parents put you in bed at nine?"

"I sneaked out." He said simply.

"With who?" Pietro raised his eye brows.

"Sarah, she's going to Harvard tomorrow and I thought it would be good idea to give her a going away present." Arcade said.

"SARAH THE DEMON WITH THE PEPPER SPRAY KEEP HER AWAY!" Pietro began to run around the house.

"WEBBER TORQUE TURN YOUR COMPUTER OFF!" A scream came from the master bedroom.

"YES MRS.TORQUE!" Arcade yelled back.

"Mrs. Torque? Isn't she your mom?" Todd was confused.

"Yes but she doesn't really like me that much." Arcade's face fell. "Why are guys here?"

"We were going to ask you help us turn off the X-Geek's security but we have decided to help lift your spirits." Fred said sounding more concerned than he usually was.

"Sarah already cheered me up some." He stated causing Pietro to whimper.

"Did you and her ..." Lance was starting to look at this geek in a new light.

"No, I changed her grades so she could get into college, and she took me at to a dance club to help my popularity." Arcade smiled as he thumbed a little black phone book in his pocket.

"Really didn't the system notice the change?" Wanda looked at the kid with growing appreciation.

"Nah, they don't notice as long as the average is the same, so all I had to do was change someone else's grades." He answered.

"Who's?" Fred looked at him after moving the unconscious Pietro to the Jeep.

"Duncan." A wicked smile grew on Arcade's face. That'll show him for picking on me. MUHAHAHAHAHA..." He stopped laughing when the mutants began backing away.

"Best of all," he continued calmly, "He now thinks his girl friend Sarah is mine, and if he hurts me she will hurt him."

"You know we should make you an honorary Brotherhood member. It can be Fred's first official act as leader." Todd said looking at the young geek with pride.

"OH! I'll get the cake!" Pietro ran off into the moon-set.

"This is going to end badly, isn't it?" Lance looked at Wanda.

"Yes." Was all she said.

--------------------

And so this chapter ends at 12:01 AM.


	3. Aug 27, Inductions

Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), afew of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these).

**August 27 - Sunday - Inductions**

--------------------

**1:00 AM Brotherhood Backyard, lots of gnomes.**

The Brotherhood was surrounding a fire in their backyard. All of them were wearing red robes with HB on them that Pietro had custom made in less than a second. Standing by Fred was arcade wearing a black robe with no marks on it.

"Brother Webber." Fred began, "You wish to join the Brotherhood of Mutants."

"He's not a mutant." Todd yelled from his place in the circle.

"Really?" Fred looked at Arcade, "He has a codename, so he is close enough."

"That and he took over the X-nerd mansion." Pietro laughed from his spot.

"Continuing," Fred started over, "Brother Webber, you wish to join the Brotherhood of Mutants, and Human. Why should we allow you into this sacred group?"

"Because I am on a caffeine high and can't sleep?" Arcade stated.

"Good enough for me. Brother Webber you will forever be known as Arcade a honorary member of The Brotherhood." Fred tossed a red robe over Arcade's black one. "Let's eat."

"Woot." The boys shouted before digging into the stolen food.

Wanda stared at them. She was only dressed up because it was simpler to go along with their crazy cult like practices. "Do you guys ever use silver ware?" Arcade's Hand was stuck in the cake.

"No," Pietro said from were he was holding a slice of pizza in his hand, "Pizza is finger food."

"Is chili?" Wanda pointed to Todd who was using his hands and tongue to eat said food.

Todd thought about this for a few minutes before he began to scream "IT BURNS HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!"

"That's The Duke's famous chili isn't it?" Arcade looked at the green hopping creature that was Todd.

"Really you know of it?" Fred smiled.

"I know that your family has 5 members wanted in nine countries for making it." Arcade moved away from the chili.

"We were framed. It was our family rival the Earls." Fred defended, "Fred Earls made some and said that our family made it."

"Fred Earls?" Arcade was beginning to rethink his choice of clubs.

"Ya, he me were born on the same day, same hospital, same time, were named the same, first and middle name, both are big boned, and he is evil. PURE EVIL ALL EARLS ARE EVIL!" With that Freddy went inside to plot the downfall of his families' evil twins.

--------------------

**7:30 Torque House**

"WHERE IS THAT BOY!" Mrs. Torque had gone into Arcade's room to find him gone and the window open. She wasn't really worried for Arcade she was concerned about her companies press conference, a smart child was good PR.

"He must have gone out with some friends, you never told him that he needed to be at the press conference." Jenkins Earls the Butler said after rushing to see what the problem was, "Excuse me I must go prepare for your guest." Jenkins was a well built man with dark black hair. Unlike the rest of his family he weighed less than 500 pounds.

"My son is a no good geek, what kind of friends could he have!" Now Mrs. Torque was getting mad, it was bad enough that Webber was gone, but Jenkins was supporting him. SHE paid his check, he should help her.

"I will call that Sarah girl and see if she knows anything." The butler said without flinching. He hated Mrs. Torque, he only put up with them because it helped his smuggling business.

"Sarah? He has a girlfriend?" Mrs. Torque was getting confused.

"No, she is merely helping him be more popular because he helped her get into college and get back at her boyfriend." The butler sniffed, he only knew this because Mr. Torque made him listen to all calls in the house.

Mrs. Torque didn't answer before Webber walked into the room wearing a red robe and covered in cake. His eyes were glazed over from lack of sleep.

"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, IF THE PRESS LEARN YOU ARE IN A CULT IT COULD MEAN MY DOOM!" Mrs. Torque began to panic.

"I'm not in a cult mom, I was inducted into the Brotherhood." Arcade didn't realize that 'the brotherhood' sounded like a cult.

"THE BROTHERHOOD, THAT IS A CULT IF I HAVE EVER HEARD ONE, YOU CHANGE AND NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN." She didn't realize that Bob the Butler was, per her orders, giving the news crew a tour.

Trish turned to the Camera, "This is Trish reporting apparently Mrs. Torque, a high member of society, has neglected her family in a made grasp for power and money. This neglect appears to have lead her only son to join a cult that apparently has some ritual involving cake." Mrs. Torque's eyes went wide.

"Is that blood on his shoes?" Trish glanced at Arcades shoes which had ketchup on them, "This cult also appears to do demonic sacrifices to a god. I will attempt to ask the Young Torque what drove him to join this demonic cult."

"Mister Torque, I speak for the world when I say, why? Why go into this demonic group? Why participate in the slaughter of Innocent animals and people?" Trish had turned to Arcade.

"He didn't do it willing, Mrs. Torque here forced him to, the sacrifice was to appease the god that she believes in, tomorrow the Young Master was going to help kill his pet cat to bring luck to Mistress." The Butler smiled as he spoke, "If you were to search the basement you would see that the Mistress here finances the cult through drug trade."

"Really and you are?" Trish was really getting interested.

"I am Jenkins Earls, a butler here that hasn't until just recently realized the evil that the Mistress represents." The butler had a plan brewing in his mind, "Hopfully we can have this women locked away and the Young Master named the owner of the estates. He would have to be my ward for a few years, but I could manage the estates for him, I already do all the work."

--------------------

**12:00 Courthouse**

Being a very high profiled case a jury and judge had be assembled in hours instead of the usual years. After listen to the testimony of the entire waiting staff, all of which were promised a part of the Torque money by Jenkins, the jury had only to listen to Arcade description of the cult before passing a verdict.

"It was cold, a bunch of the people were standing around a bonfire which was roasting pigs alive." Arcade didn't feel like helping his mom or dad. As time progressed Arcade wove a long story of how the pigs were killed.

By seven the court was ready to pass judgment. "On the twenty counts of animal cruelty we find the defendant guilty. On the nine counts of child endangerment we find the defendant innocent. On the four counts of child neglect we find the defendant guilty." The juror took a drink of water before continuing, "On the thirty counts of drug possession with intent to sell we find the defendant guilt." That was the only charge with any evidence against it, even if it wasn't theirs.

"By the power invested in by the Courts I sentence the defendants to 57 years in prison, may your souls rot in hell for traumatizing your son like that." The judge hit his hammer ending the shortest trial in America.

--------------------

**4:00 Torque House. Arcade is asleep after being awake for over twenty four hours.**

"Yo, wazzup!" Arcade woke up when Todd burst into his room followed by the Brotherhood.

"Why are you guys awake after all this?" Arcade glared at them.

"These caffeine tablets do wonder for your sleep schedule." Pietro held up said tablets as his body shook at super speed. Pietro then gave Arcade three tablets.

After downing the tablets he felt awake. "So you guys see the trial?" He asked the gathered mutants.

"Yup, that was evil the way you tortured your parents like that." A tear formed in Wanda's eye, "I wish I could torture my dad, only without the courts."

Lance moved away from Wanda when she began to talk about various forms of torture she would do to her dad, most involved removing his powers and stabbing him with rusty metal in non vital parts. "Okay ... Wanda is in her happy place." Lance looked at Fred who was examining Arcade. "What's wrong Freddy?" Lance

"Who is that Butler who was talking about the drugs?" Fred asked Arcade.

"Jenkins. Wh..." He cut off remembering the last name, Earls, the Dukes' enemy. "Earls."

"That is the man who forced my Uncle Jenkins to stop working for the Rotate Family." Fred began to glare.

"Rotat Family? The family who was my mom's sworn enemy?" Arcade gasped.

"Toad, I'm starting to get scared with all these enemy's." Lance said backing up to the door.

"Me too." was all Todd said.

"I like this Uncle of yours, if he helped someone who hated my mom he must have been good." Arcade began to plot revenge.

--------------------

**5:25 The Purple Pizza Plaza (pizza joint, only one that hasn't banned Fred).**

"Pizza, breakfast of champions." Arcade looked at the large pizzas he had bought the group.

"It's dinner time, yo?" Todd looked at Arcade like he was crazy.

"Yes, but I haven't eaten since our induction, now I am going to eat before Fred eats everything." Arcade began to shove pieces into his mouth.

Wanda who until then had been in her happy place (not all of it involved torturing her dad) finally glared at them, "We should do something today other than ruin a life and eat."

"Huh? Sleep?" Fred wasn't very good at coming up with ideas.

"We'll do that later, I meant before bed." Wanda was starting to realize why the First Lady has all the power.

"IKNOWIKNOWINKOW!" Pietro was waving his hand a super speed making it a blur.

"What is your idea, brother." Wanda knew she was going to regret asking.

"We can torture X-Jerks." Pietro grinned at the thought of getting Bobby in a situation that could be used in blackmail.

"We can't they have a new security system." Wanda stated.

"I could hack it." Arcade pulled out a Laptop and started using the Restaurant's free wifi, "Look they didn't change their password since that party."

"We have our mission, lure all the X-Snobs out of the house, and then lock it behind them." Fred had a sudden burst of intelligence, then it was gone, "Then we'll eat."

--------------------

**7:25 X-men House, The Brotherhood was gathered at the gates to the mansion.**

"Okay here's the plan," Wanda had taken over once Fred's intelligence had faded. After listening to the plan the Brotherhood began a very long and painful game of ding dong ditch. Painful for the X-men who were trying to have a danger room session, and the bell was making Wolverine angry.

"WHAT IS THAT EVIL BELL DOING!" Logan tore a machine in two.

Jean's eyes closed as she concentrated, "It's the Brotherhood, and ... Arcade?"

"Didn't Arcade just have his parents carted off today?" Kitty looked concerned for her friend.

"Yeah, it was on the news, some cult and drug thing." Bobby had also heard that.

"Let's show them what it means to mess with us," Rouge was angry from the danger room session and was willing to take it out on the Brotherhood.

After a few seconds of arguing and an agreement not to hurt Arcade the X-men ran up stairs and out the door, even Xavier and Storm went out. That was a mistake.

The second that Arcade saw that the X-men were outside he tripped the mansion into a lock-down. This turned all the lasers onto the X-men and all the Brotherhood ran after Arcade changed the password to something less obvious than 'hankneedsagirlfriend'.

--------------------

**8:55 Arcade by the Mall**

Fred and Arcade were in locked in a challenging game of 'Mutated Fry Chief Shootout', Pietro was looking in a reflective surface, Lance was sobbing over a game of air hockey (he was playing himself), and Todd was carrying the money that Wanda was hexing out of the Coin Machines.

"Snookums, maybe we should leave." Todd looked at the strong security guard coming towards them.

"Not now." Wanda was obviously going made with greed over the money she was making. She stopped when she felt the security guard grab her shoulder, "DON'T TOUCH ME HUMAN." Her voice had a demonic sound to it, "YOU WILL DIE FOR DARING TO LAY A HAND ON ME!" with that she threw a hex bolt.

Sadly her aim was way off and she it one of those cheap lotto machines causing thousands of tickets to come out. As the young children and Todd ran to grab tickets (and leaving their money behind) the guard peed his pants and ran. The sight of the largest security guard in the business running caused the others to run in fear. Pietro finally noticed the commotion and wanting to get a mirror from the prize booth started to run around at super speed grabbing tickets. Lance decided that he could get a stuffed knight for Kitty if he took some also. Neither Fred or Arcade noticed as they were controlling their virtual chiefs in a disturbing game of murder and death.

--------------------

**10:15 X-Mansion, Lance has a stuffed Knight.**

When the Brotherhood finally got out of the Arcade, Lance had dragged them to the Mansion to deliver his Knight to his Kitty. The sight they found when they got there was that of the X-men cleaning up their destroyed security system which they had had to destroy to get back inside.

"Y'ALL DID THIS!" Rogue noticed the approaching Brotherhood before the telepaths.

"Yup, Arcade here changed your password," Wanda loved the fact that they had showed this other goth up, "You guys should have changed it after the party 'hankneedsagirlfriend'? What kinda password is that."

"WHAT WAS THE PASSWORD!" Hank glared at Wolverine who was in charge of security.

"HEY IT'S TRUE, YOU HAVE NO LIFE." Logan defended his choice.

"IGNORING THE FACT THAT IT IS AN INSECURE PASSWORD, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO HAVE A LIFE WHEN YOU ARE BLUE AND FURRY?" Hank was pissed.

"NEVER STOPPED THE ELF, HE HAS AMANDA AND WANDA CHASING HIM!"

"WHAT!" Both Todd and Wanda screamed.

"I WOULD NEVER DATE THAT FUZZ BALL!" Wanda screamed.

"SHE'S MINE" Todd was also screaming.

"I AM NOT YOUR'S"

"But muffin..." Todd began

"NO NICKNAMES!" Wanda used a hex bolt to throw Todd across the yard.

"Hey Pretty Kitty," Lance was ignoring his friends, "I won you this Knight to go with your dragon."

"If by won you mean picked up tickets after Wanda's hex hit a machine then yes." Pietro snickered.

"WHAT!" Kitty screamed.

"I didn't steal the tick..." Lance began.

"I DON't CARE ABOUT STEALING, KNIGHTS KILL DRAGONS! JUST LIKE EVIL MEAT EATERS, DRAGONS HAVE FEELINGS TO, HOW COULD YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE. IT IS GOOD THAT LOCKHEED ISN'T OUT HERE HE WOULD BE INSULTED." Kitty wasn't the sanest person around.

"IT'S A TOY!" Lance screamed, "YOU LOVE A TOY MORE THAN ME!"

"THAT 'TOY' HAS FEELINGS TO!" Kitty screamed.

Fred and Arcade were watching from the sidelines as Hank an Logan began to fight. They watched Todd, Kurt, and Wanda fight. They saw Rogue jump in to defend Kurt. They saw Scott and Jean start to go at it because Scott never gave Jean anything. Storm and the Professor began to fight over salaries and the rest said 'screw it' to the cleaning up process as they helped random people.

The only X-man not fighting was Tabitha who was having to much fun egging on other fights, especially between Roberto, Sam, and Ray all of which liked her. After starting a few fights Tabitha went to stand with Fred and Arcade, "So, what's happening in the brotherhood land?"

"I am the new leader." Fred stated proudly.

"Really?" Tabitha grinned, "I bet you're better than rocky over there." She pointed to Lance who was being turned into a bloody heap by Kitty.

"I joined the Brotherhood." Arcade stated hoping to make her admire him, he had always like her.

"Really? You're human." Tabitha became confused at the thought of a human being with mutant supremacists.

"We let him join because he has a bad home life, and can beat you X-men." Fred stated, "And I'm the leader so I can do that."

"Really, what does Mags say?" Tabitha was growing confused.

"The boss man ran off when he couldn't pay his acolytes and Wanda got her memory back." Fred was for once actually being smart.

The night passed with those three making small talk as the others had 'philosophical debates'. Finally around eleven the Brotherhood went to their home, and Arcade to his. The X-men had to spend the night cleaning up the new mess.

--------------------

_A/N: I always thought Arcade should be with the 'hood, he causes trouble._


	4. Aug 28, I hate Mondays

_Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), a few of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these)._

_This is a long chapter._

_August 28 - Monday - I hate Mondays_

--------------------

**Brotherhood House, 6:30 AM**

"I love Mondays!" Pietro ran in singing at the top of his annoyingly high pitched voice.

"I hate Mondays." Todd was acting like a normal person and was grumpy, "Are we going to school today?"

"Of course, Wanda wants to go, and I value my life more than sleep." Lance was also grumpy, he didn't like the fact that Wanda was forcing him to go to school.

"Morning." Fred walked in with Wanda.

"Yo, sugar cookie, still not over your school obsession? I told you we could study in my room and just skip." Todd look longingly at Wanda.

"I TOLD YOU NO! I WILL NEVER WILLINGLY GO INTO THE SAME ROOM AS YOU ALONE!" Wanda was showing off her short temper. After much pickering Wanda explained that she only wanted to go to torture her teachers. This was something all Brotherhood members could agree on was worth going to school for.

--------------------

**Pietro and Todd's First Period Ethics Class, Mr Lowe's**

Mr. Lowe had managed to calm done over the weekend, out of all his students the two kleptomaniac mutants were some of the better ones, Duncan wasn't even his worst. No the worst student was the one who just moved into the school. His neighbor, Fred Earls.

The moment he had arrived home from church he had found that Fred Earls had stolen his grill to cook the neighbors pet rat. What was worse was he didn't eat the rat, no he feed it to his dog, a Rat Terrier. Not that that bothered him, while creepy it wasn't that bad. No what bothered him was his parents, last people you would expect to have a child in ethics. His mom was a former Vegas show girl, and his dad, well he didn't know what he did but he saw lots of less than respectable looking people go in and out of the house. The final thing was that except for the brown hair he was just like another student, Fred Dukes, a student he had hoped to see the last of. No Dukes, didn't do stuff like the other students, he was just an annoying fat person who was always eating. Good Fred ate his favorite pen, the red heart one he got for Valentine's Day twenty nine years ago.

"Hello class, we have a new student Fred Earls." Mr. Lowe finally realized that he had been standing in front of the class for over ten minutes.

"AHGG FREDDY'S EVIL TWIN!" Todd remembered Freddy talking about the Anti-Dukes and how they were so alike, yet so different.

"Amazing we see Fred's total opposite, and he is still fat. I thought since that Jenkinss' guy was buff the Earls would be buff, but I guess Jenkins is different." Pietro woke up, despite his fast lifestyle he feel asleep from boredom easily.

"What are you freaks talking about?" Duncan glared at the two mutants.

"Yo, I see you have used your sparkling wit to steal another geeks homework." Todd grabbed the paper that Duncan was copying for second period.

"GIVE IT BACK, STEALERS KEEPERS, VICTIMS WEEPERS!" Duncan jumped from the desk, not remembering the bar holding the chair to the desk.

"Good 'cause I stole it, yo." Todd hopped off to the other end of the room.

"GIVE IT BACK I NEED TO PASS THIS YEAR! SOMEHOW MY GRADES CHANGED RIGHT BEFORE GRADUATION!" Duncan was close to tears.

"STUDENTS!" Mr. Lowe shot a look at everyone even the ones who were enjoying the show, "It is wrong to still."

"SEE GIVE IT!" Duncan shouted to Todd.

"Duncan, what you are doing is called hypocrisy, you are holding your stealings to a different standard than Todd's stealings." Mr. Lowe looked at him before realizing what he said, "Dear God, I've been teaching to long." He slumped into his chair at his desk.

"Uh, wer'do I sit?" Evil Fred had been standing throughout this moral debate.

"Sit in front of Pietro." Mr. Lowe was now mumbling to himself about the correct time to start drinking in the day, "I hate Mondays."

Turning around Evil Fred glared at Pietro, "You are Fred Dukes friend? I will have to hurt you to hurt my mortal enemy, that is the way of the Dukes an' Earls."

"Try it, we are mutants no evil reflection can hurt us." Pietro was raising to the Earl's challenge.

"I am a mirror of that demon in every way, except me being good and him evil. That includes our mutation." Evil Fred smiled evilly.

By this time the entire class was looking at the two of them as the continued their philosophical debate using to many mirror and reflection analogies. The class continued like that with Duncan, Todd, Pietro, and Evil Fred acting out a bad soap opera, while the teacher talked to his shrink on the phone.

--------------------

**Wanda, Rogue, Tabitha, and Rahne's First Period US History Class, Coach Carpenter's**

Wanda walked into first period with Rogue and immediately was shocked by what she saw. In a corner the cheerleader Couch was sprinkling holy water mumbling about the demons and ghost which are trying to avenge the Scottish women who was murdered long ago because people believed her to be a witch, she had red hair.

"HEY NO TRUE SCOTT WOULD TORTURE EVERYONE FOR THE SINS OF THE FEW. US SCOTTS ARE LOGICAL, WE WOULD ONLY TORTURE THE FIRST FEW GENERATIONS OF OUR MURDERS." Rahne began to tear into the poor teacher for blaming a fellow Scott.

"LEAVE THIS CHILD, DEMON! I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD CHRIST!" The teacher threw water onto Rahne.

"Isn't that supporting a religion in a public school." Tabitha looked at Wanda who just shrugged

"You know no one will do anything considering that it is Christianity, which runs this country." Wanda smiled, "Let's have fun." Using her probability magic she began to move the desks around.

"ARAGHH GHOSTS!" The teacher began to foam at the mouth.

"Make up your mind!" Rogue glared at the teacher, "Is it a ghost or demon?"

"Aren't they the same?" The teacher calmed down as she considered the differences between the two nonexistent entities.

"NO! You imbecile! A ghost is the soul of the dead, left to wonder this cursed planet till judgment day when they are judged as worthy or unworthy. A demon is the angle followers of the devil snake!" Some random classmate wearing a cross snapped from the back, enjoying the show.

"ARAGHH! THE DEMON, or ghost, IS IN HER NOW, IN MY DAY NO STUDENT SPOKE AGAINST THEIR TEACHER. IF A TEACHER TOLD THEM TO BREAK THE LAW THEY WOULD WITHOUT QUESTION, YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR TEACHER!" The women screamed the same stuff that has been stuffed down students throats without any hypothetical scenarios. The lack of hypothetical scenarios being why no one can seem to grasp the idea of an entire industry basing their safety off worst cases.

"So its a ghost?" Another student asked.

"Why would it have to be a ghost." The girl standing next to her turned.

"Because it is possessing them, to posses something you have to be a ghost." The first student answered.

"What about in the bible, when Jesus casted the demons from a man into the herd of pigs causing the pigs to drown." The one with the cross spoke up, "Those demons were possessing the man."

"If they were demons why did Jesus let them have the pigs? Why didn't he just have them kill themselves? They follow Satan." The ghost supporter replied.

"Suicide is a sin, Jesus can't condone sin, even in demons." The cross wearer replied.

"WE ARE GETTING OFF SUBJECT! WE MUST TALK OF WAYS TO RID OURSELVES OF THIS UNHOLINESS!" Doesn't God love everyone, no matter how bad they are? Souldn't that mean that a demon can be forgiven." The demon advocate began to talk, "And to be truly unholy wouldn't you have to be forever removed from God's forgiveness?"

"Yeah, didn't God give people freewill, with that whole 'In his image' thing, wouldn't Revelations kinda defeat that. He says you will do this." The ghost advocate was talking.

"Demons aren't people they are angles they aren't in his image, I think. And just because you know the future doesn't mean you force people to do that future." The cross bearer was talking while the mutants and teachers were staring confused.

"This is assuming that Christianity is right, what about the pagan, what if it is something from their religion." Wanda smiled at the mass muttering that she had started.

"IT IS NOT SOMETHING FROM THE EVIL PAGANS, THEY WORSHIP THE DEVIL!" The teacher began to scream.

"THEY DO NOT! And if they did, wouldn't that mean it is from them." Wanda smiled as the teacher began to think.

Eventually the teacher finally began to move around chanting prayers her only explanation was that anyway it is bad.

--------------------

**(Good)Fred, Amara, and Jubilee's First Period Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams (Good Fred, was kicked out of all three of his Home Ec.s)**

"Hello class." Mr. Williams walked into the room noticing the new student, "Are you Fredrick Dukes?"

"Yup, call me Fred" Good Fred smiled.

"Class say 'hi' to Fred." Mr. Williams use to teach kindergartner and it showed.

"I know him, he owes me a sandwich." Jubilee looked at him pointedly.

"I'll get you one soon." Good Fred muttered.

"YOU SAID THAT A YEAR AGO!" Jubilee screamed feeling hurt and betrayed that Fred had forgotten her sandwich.

"Your fighting over a year old sandwich?" Mr. Williams was starting to wonder why he left the calmer sugar hyped kindergartners.

"IT WASN:T OLD WHEN I GAVE IT TO HIM WHEN HE PROMISED HE WOULD BRING ME ONE TOMARROW!" Jubilee screamed, "IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR ONE LOWSY PEANUTBUTTER, BANNANA, AND HONEY SANDWICH!"

"That's gross." Amara looked at her friend, "Besides why do you want somthing from this peasant?"

"I DON"T CARE ABOUT HIM BEING A PEASANT! I JUST WANT A SANDWICH, I DIDN"T GET LUNCH THAT DAY BECAUSE HE FORGOT!" Jubilee was on the verge of tears.

"I didn't forget." Good Fred defended.

"THEN WERE IS MY SANDWICH!" Jubilee screamed.

"In your shrine." Good Fred stated not realizing what he said.

"Shrine?" Jubilee was no longer yelling.

"Yeah, when I told Pietro that the sandwich was yours he ran it back home to his shrine." Good Fred looked happy that he hadn't forgotten the sandwich.

"Why does Pietro have a shrine to me?" Jubilee looked at Good Fred, "Do I want to know?"

"No you don't want to know why he has a shrine, nor how he got the life size gold statue of you." Good Fred looked at Jubilee, "Or what he does every Wednesday."

"WHY DOES SHE GET A SHRINE AND I DON'T, I AM THE PRINCESS OF NOVA ROMA, I DESERVE A SHRINE!" Amara began to scream at Good Fred.

"I think I'm gonna hurl." Jubilee sank into her chair.

"I hate Mondays, and highschool." Mr. Williams went to his phone to talk to the elementary school principal.

--------------------

**Lance, Kitty, and Kurt's First Period AP Statistics, Mr. Halif**

"Welcome back class, hope you had a relaxing weekend. Turn your books to page two hundred and do problems 5 through 60." Mr. Halif remembered how Kurt and Lance had started fighting, he also had a headache from last period, so he know better than to give them free time.

"Hey Pretty Kitty. Wanna help me?" Lance was leaned over to Kitty's desk.

"No, Lance." Kitty replied coldly.

"Why not?" Lance looked at his girlfriend with those puppy dog eyes that don't work for guys.

"WHY NOT? WHY NOT?" Kitty stood up and started screaming, "BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO KILL MY LOCKHEED THAT'S 'WHY NOT'" The class was starring at them, "YOU TRIED TO KILL A POOR HELPLESS ANIMAL LIKE THE EVIL MEAT EATER YOU ARE, I CAN NOT DATE OR HELP SOMEONE WHO TREATS ANIMALS SO BADLY!"

"Man what a creep, trys to kill her pet than has the gull to be her boyfriend." A cheerleader shook her head.

A large football player stood up from where he had been writing poems instead of doing math, "You tried to kill a poor animal?"

"It was..." Lance began to defend himself.

"YES HE DID, MY LOCKHEED!" Kitty screamed.

"I AM A VEGETARIAN! I LOVE ANIMALS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KILL ONE!" The football player lunged across the room and picked up Lance, "I WILL BREAK YOU SKINNY MAN!"

"HEY LEAVE HIM ALONE ... " Kurt, while hating Lance, didn't think he deserved to be beat up in this case.

"YOU ARE DEFENDING THAT CREEP!" The cheerleader was screaming to while holding onto the other football player in the room, "YOU MUTANTS HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH, WITH US HATING YOU. YOU SHOULD AT LEAST STICK TOGETHER!"

"But Lockheed is a ... " Kurt began.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL IT IS, IT SHOULDN"T BE KILLED!" The football player holding Lance yelled.

"IT ISN"T ALIVE!" Lance screamed through his gasps.

"YOU KILLED HIM? DIE DIE DIE!" Kitty jumped at Lance.

"I hate Mondays, and teenage love spats." Mr. Halif was groaning at his desk. The class stopped fighting when they heard him start to mumble about a lawyer and murder.

Five Minutes Later Computer Lab.

"I think he is trying to tell us something." Kurt looked at Lance.

"What?" Lance was writing on his paper.

"Why does he want us to do a statistical report on murders committed by teachers?" Kurt looked at him.

"Don't no, I can't believe Kitty is going out with that jock." Lance glared at the jock which had defended Kitty.

"I can, they both are air heads. I can't believe I was once jealous of you two, at least I got Amanda now, she is much better." Kurt said before finding a creepy court description of the murder of a student at Bayville High twenty years ago.

--------------------

**Todd and Wanda's Second Period Home EC. Class, Mrs. Cline's**

"Where's Freddy?" Wanda looked at the class.

"He got kicked out for eating the ingredients." Todd said, "I'm surprised he made through Friday."

Class passed simply, with the teacher gaining food poisoning from Todd's slime, and Wanda using hexes to ruin other peoples food.

--------------------

**Lance and Kitty's Second Period AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck**

"DIE LANCE!" Those were the first words from Kitty's mouth when she saw Lance enter the room.

After much work Mrs. Boontuck got both of the students seperated, but refused to give them detention because it was her turn to have it, again.

--------------------

**Pietro, Bobby, Ray, Roberto, and Kurt's Second Period US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

Entering class, the students saw that the teacher was still preforming cleansing prayers over various parts of the room. This class was to afraid of the teacher's questionable sanity to have an indepth debate of the nature of possesions or hauntings. Instead they choose to laugh and look at Kurt whenever the teacher mentioned the blue demon in the bathroom.

--------------------

**Toad's First Lunch and Third Period English II, Mrs. Mandy**

"Yo, Dunky!" Todd was standing between the younger football players when Duncan saw him.

"Hello Duncan." John smiled evilly at Duncan, as he and his friends approached.

"Eep." Duncan ran as John and his friends laughed and got into line again.

Lunch for Todd was okay, he got the rubber pizza and used it to lure flies. About half way through English the fire alarm went off and Todd went outside to find the rest of the 'hood.

--------------------

**Wanda, Fred (Good and Evil), Tabitha, Rogue, Amara, Kurt, Ray, and Amanda's Second Lunch**

"I can't eat this." Good Fred was looking at the wobbling pile of something.

"Can you repeat that?" Wanda had been smart and brought her food, a sick reddish looking soup with weird pieces of meat in it.

"I can't eat this." Good Fred used his fork to stab the food, breaking his fork.

"Why not?" Wanda was curious.

"I can't get it in my mouth, it's to big, and I can't cut it." Fred looked sad as his stomache rumbled causing shouts of 'earthquake.'

"My mortal enemy, Dukes." Evil Freddy walked up to Good Fred.

"I know that voice, it is the voice of pure evil! EARLS!" Good Fred grabbed his food and prepared to use it to defeat his opposite.

"How can that be the voice of evil, it is the same as your voice?" Wanda looked at him and the evil twin, "Is that one of those anti-Dukes, the Earls?"

"Yes beautiful lady, I am the pinicle of good. And Dukes is pure evil, without the pure part, because no evil is pure." Evil Freddy looked at Wanda with a smile.

"Yup you are just like him, making no sense." Wanda shook her head as she formed a hex bolt. Throwing it at Evil Fred she yelled, "YOU CAN NOT HURT FREDDY, HE PROMISED TO HELP ME DEFEAT MY DAD IN A BATTLE TO THE DEATH!" Luckily the group was removed from the rest of the student body.

"Some day my evil mirror, you will not have this witch to protect you." With that Evil Fred went to the other side of the outside eating area.

"Did you see that?" Kurt turned to the X-men and his girlfriend, Amanda.

"No." Rogue replied as they ignored the past few minutes.

--------------------

**Fred's Third Period Algebra I, Mr. Lackey**

"Good morning," Mr. Lackey Looked around, "I see some of you have changed your classes. Fredrick Dukes, Johnathon Poller, and Mathew Madrick, welcome." Mr. Lackey glanced at Good Fred before shrugging it off, "This is the first math you will take in your high school career. This is also the easiest math class you will take." Mr. Lackey smiled evilly, "Please complete pages 110 through 115. Begin."

The class immediately began to write.

"FRED! STOP EATING MY PENCILS!" Johnathon shouted.

"I'm hungry." Good Fred whined.

"YOU JUST CAME FROM LUNCH SO STOP IT!" Johnathon was disgusted by Good Fred's eating habits.

"But that food wouldn't fit in my mouth!" Good Fred cried, "And I couldn't cut it!"

"THEN BRING YOUR LUNCH YOU PILE OF LARD!" Now Mathew was fighting with them.

"HOW ABOUT I EAT YOU INSTEAD!" The look that Good Fred gave them caused them to shut up.

"FRED!" The teacher stood up, "That is cannibalism, it is frowned upon in this society ... " The rest of his speech was cut off by the fire alarm, "Okay everyone out, the janitor smoked to close to the smoke detector again.

--------------------

**Wanda's Third Period Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro**

"Welcome ... " Mr. Longtro began a lecture on some math thing, Wanda was't paying attention. Having learned her lesson from Friday Wanda pulled out her voodoo doll to make the class more exciting.

"OW!" Mr. Longtro showed why he had been on his high school basketball team when Wanda stuck a pin into the doll.

"Sorry class. As I was saying ... " Mr. Longtro renewed his exciting lecture on numbers.

Once the teacher was reabsorbed into his talk Wanda pulled her lighter out. She didn't smoke, she just liked watching things burn. This obsession might have come from hanging out with Pyro one afternoon. Sticking the lighter to the dolls lower front area, Wanda watched to teacher shift uncomfortably. Not paying attention to the doll, Wanda didn't see that it was actually burning until she felt the heat on her hand.

"OW CURSE THAT!" Wanda threw a hex bolt at the doll, unfortunately setting a wall on fire, "Oops." Showing off the observation skills learned in the public school system, no one noticed that she was the cause.

"EVERYONE RUN!" The teacher began to panic as the wall went up, "I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BURN MY JEWEL WAS BURNING, IT ONLY BURNS BEFORE A FIRE!" The class didn't bother trying to understand how wrong that sounded until they got outside.

--------------------

**Lance and Kitty's Third Period AP Biology, Mrs. Frena**

Still mad at Lance, Kitty ignored him for the beginning of class until he pushed her out of the way as a burning wall fell towards her. After that he lost her in the crowed but was happy from the kiss she had given him.

--------------------

**Pietro, Rahne, Jubilee, Bobby, Roberto, and Sam's Third Period Biology, Mr. Goodtran**

"Welcome back students, hopefully today no one will attack our petrified cats that we are using for dissection." Mr. Goodtran glared at Rahne.

"Sorry, reflex." Rahne blushed as the class laughed.

Ignoring the laughs the teacher began to teach about the digestive system, forgetting that the class hadn't learned anything yet, and it was the second day of school so they should be expected to know about various parts of anatomy.

The class was saved from a quiz on the nervous system when the Fired alarm went off, "Stupid Janitor always setting off the alarm, I bet he does that to help the students. He always claims that they shouldn't be worked so hard." And with those paranoid words the class left.

--------------------

**Fire Drill**

"Yo, I love fire drills it gets us outta class." Todd smiled at the other Brotherhood members.

"It's not a drill." Good Fred Pointed to the smoke coming from one section of the school.

"Whoa, smoke. These special effects are getting better." Todd still didn't believe it was a drill.

"It's not a drill." Wanda said blushing.

"How would you know?" Todd looked at her.

"I started it." Wanda looked down.

"THANK YOU!" Lance screamed, "YOU ALMOST KILLED KITTY!"

"And your thanking me?" Wanda was confused, Lance Kitty's boy-toy was thanking her for almost killing her.

"Yes, I saved her and she made up with me." Lance smiled.

"I DID NOT MAKE UP WITH YOU. I AM LIKE STILL TOTALLY MAD AT YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING LOCKHEED! I JUST WAS THANKING YOU FOR SAVING ME!" Kitty stormed off from where she had been approaching.

"NOO!" Lance had a nervous breakdown then and there, resulting in him being on the ground and many weird looks.

"So guys, what'cha wanna do now?" Todd looked at the other saner members.

"Draw on Lance's face?" Pietro pulled out an assortment of magic markers.

"I know let's draw cat whiskers." Good Fred grabbed a marker and began to draw on Lance.

"Make the beard larger." Todd was helping.

"My mortal enemy, Dukes." Evil Fred walked up behind Good Fred and kicked him, making him fall on Lance.

"My head hurts as hard as my heart." Lance sang in a dazed voice.

"EARLS!" Good Fred jumped up, which was surprising given his size, "YOUR FAMILY IS A THORN IN MY FAMILIES' SIDE, PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED."

"NO YOU ARE THE THORN!" Evil Fred yelled.

"I AM THE GOOD GUY THUS I AM NOT THE THORN!" Good Fred screamed.

"I AM GOOD" Evil Fred countered.

"NO, I AM GOOD!"

"ME"

"ME"

"I AM THE SON OF GOOD, WHICH YOU FAMILY DESTROYED!"

"YOU ARE THE SON OF PURE EVIL!"

"Why are you fighting about it. Fred is good, Fred hates everything Fred is, therefore Fred hates good." Pietro was attempting to look at the problem logically.

"Yes but no one ever thinks they are evil. Take Hitler, he was evil, but he thought he was doing good. Same with extremists." Good Fred replied.

"Godwin's law! You lose this discussion." Evil Fred shouted.

"No by invoking it you lose." Good Fred laughed.

"Why can only one be good?" Lance hadn't noticed the marker markings.

"Because good always fights evil." Good Fred said, "And visa versa."

"But can't evil fight evil?" Todd looked between the two giants.

"No of course not." Evil Fred shook his head.

"Why not, Magneto fought Apocalypse." Lance asked, "And magneto fights humans who hate mutants."

"True." Evil Fred stroked his chin, "When I have the answer I will be back." Evil Fred strolled away.

By this time half a hall had burned because of the crowd blocking blocking the fire trucks. Once the fire was put out the last few periods of school had passed and the group of students wandered off to the mall, or to get drunk/high, or general teenage things.

--------------------

**Burger Home 4:30ish**

"Hey guys." Arcade sadly walked up to the Brotherhood who were eating at a large table.

"Yo, wazzup." Todd stopped looking at Wanda for a minute.

"Come join us, eat." Fred stuffed a large piece of chicken into his mouth.

"After I remove his powers, I'll stab him with a long thin rusted rod, I won't kill him, I want him to suffer. Then I'll slowly cut off-" Wanda snapped out of her happy place, "Hello."

"Hello my inferior subject." Pietro was being his usual humble self.

"I hate Mondays." Arcade collapsed into his chair.

"Why?" Good Fred was the only member showing concern.

"The Earls guy basically told me to go screw my life. He doesn't care he's only my guardian because now he can make money without dealing drugs." Arcade sighed, "I don't even want to be in the same house as him."

"I'm sorry. Want to come live with us?" Good Fred was feeling sorry for him, and liking the idea of opposing an Earls.

"WHAT WE DON"T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM!" Pietro shouted.

"Sure we do, Rogue's old room and Mystique's." Lance looked up.

"Wanda's using Rogue's room, and remember what happened last time Mystique left her room?" Pietro looked at Lance, "Besides do we really want this geek with us?"

"Shut up Pietro." Wanda sent a weak hex bolt at Pietro.

"Where will he sleep?" Pietro was now hiding behind Fred.

"You'll build him a room." Fred looked at Pietro, "You can do it in a few minutes."

"NO! I refuse to do manual labor." Pietro crossed his arms.

"I AM YOUR RULER! OBEY, MY STUPID MINION!" Good Fred rose to his full height.

--------------------

**Generic Hardware Store 5:00**

"Okay, grab the two by fours and the plywood, also grab the quick drying paint and a bed an' mattress." Fred was talking to Pietro who he had order to grab everything that was needed and to speed it past security.

"I am not a pack mule." Pietro speed off wand placed the desired items into Lance's over crowded truck, "Done, now lets go home."

--------------------

**Brotherhood House 8:00**

"HOW IS THE ROOM COMING! IT SHOULDN'T TAKE YOU AN HOUR!" Fred shouted at Pietro.

"I CAN't DECIDE BETWEEN BLUE OR WHITE PAINT!" Pietro replied looking at the room and holding a paint brush.

"DO WHATEVER IS IN EVERY OTHER ROOM!" Fred grumbled as he made some popcorn.

"Burned and dented walls coming up." Pietro pulled out Wanda's lighter, "Okay done."

After running up to the room the other members gasped. "IT's new it shouldn't be burned already!" Lance groaned.

"I like it, just like the rest of the house." Arcade collapsed onto the bed that Pietro had set up.

"Glad you like now I must regain my dignity." Pietro stalked off to the bathroom as the rest of the mutants went to bed.

--------------------

_End_

_Fred Dukes is Good Fred, Fred Earls is Evil Fred._


	5. Aug 29, A Day to Skip

_Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), a few of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these)._

**August 29 - Tuesday - A Day to Skip**

--------------------

**Brotherhood's new and improved house. 12:00 PM**

Without a word being spoken every member of the Brotherhood agreed to skip school today. Once they woke up they were immediately sorry they did.

"I am bored." Pietro sighed for the thousandth time this day.

"Shut up speedy. Not all of us are done eating." Lance was also sorry as he didn't have a chance to say sorry to Kitty, "Who wants to go back for third period."

"Not me. I am tired of that place with the overly cheerful demons teaching." Wanda used the probability changing nature of her powers to make the milk tip into her bowl.

"I'm staying with muffin cake." Todd said from the corner where he had a poor, defenseless, deadly, poisonous, one of a kind, genetically modified, escaped from a lab, cockroach.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Wanda made some silverware float on the table, and the lightbulbs explode. Wanda then hexed Todd into a pile saving the cockroach's life.

"Great now we need new light bulbs." Lance groaned as he helped Todd up from his new hole in the wall.

--------------------

**Generic Hardware Store (C) 3:00 PM**

"Okay men," Good Fred began to talk to his troops.

"MEN!" Wanda glared as her powers flared, breaking every light bulb in the store.

"OKAY OKAY. And women." Good Fred looked at the store noticing that the display of light bulbs were destroyed, "We were going to get bulbs, guess we have to try another store.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"Hey were is everyone?" Arcade was finally awake, "Bulbs broken, Todd and other insensitive guys missing? I hope Wanda doesn't cripple them for life." With that thought Arcade began to eat a bowl of cereal.

--------------------

**Joe's Home Improvement (C) center 3:00 PM**

"Okay, woman and men." Good Fred knew now to put women first, "We have a simple mission, get light bulbs so that we aren't blind tonight."

"Why don't we just go to sleep when the sun goes down." Todd looked at them.

"Because tonight is game night." Wanda smiled, "And I get to choose the game."

"Going to sleep with the sun is easy, I could help you." Todd smiled suggestively.

"DIE YOU VILE POND DEMON!" Wanda threw a hex bolt and hit a self. For a few seconds the Brotherhood thought it had done nothing. Then the self tipped and hit another shelf, and another. In fact they kept falling and the somehow made an impossible turn to knock over the other row of selves.

"Great, now we have to go to The Man." Lance threw his arms up as he left to go to the car.

"The Man?" Pietro looked at the other three.

"Yes The Man." Todd shook his head.

"Who's The Man?" Wanda looked at Todd.

"Well ya'know how Lance isn't quiet all there in the head?" Todd began.

"Yes the marijuana messed him up. So what?" Wanda looked at Todd.

"Well he's mostly better now. The only remaining problem since he stopped smoking is this slight paranoia involving government conspiracies." Todd continued.

"So we are going to the government?" Wanda wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"No, we are going to Flor-Wart (C)." Todd finally finished.

"That cheapo store?" Wanda looked at the green mutant, "Why does he think that is 'The Man'?"

"How else do you explain them being able to expand so fast?" Lance had come in to see what was keeping them.

"American's hypocritical support freedom then the exploit the un-free?" Wanda looked at Lance and began to rethink the love spell she had been brewing for the last few months.

"HA! That's what they want you to believe. Come we must face certain corruption and death." Lance turned and walked out again.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"So one of the human oppressors is alone." Todd's breakfast rubbed his cockroach equivalent of hands together, "Today is the dawn of a new era for the Superior Species, Periplaneta americana ductor supernus." _(A/N The American cockroach with genetic superior in Latin at the end)_

Arcade finished eating and went to grow roots in the couch.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C)**

"Wanda, do not break these bulbs." Fred looked at the red haired girl, "Let's go."

"Are we buying or stealing?" Pietro asked.

"Buying, why?" Good Fred looked at them.

"Who brought the money?" Pietro continued.

"We are going to liberate these helpless bulbs from their government oppressors." Lance got a crazed look in his eye, "After that we will ride to city hall and burn it. BURN IT! BURN BABY BURN!"

"There goes Lance." Good Fred shook his head as he wandered to the section of the store selling tranquilizers.

"Fire?" Wanda smiled and followed Lance, forgiving him for being insane since he knew that fire is useful.

"Yo Pietro, your sister is scaring me." Todd looked at Pietro and found him missing, "Pietro? I have a bad feeling."

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"Up next on Quantum Leap ... " Arcade was in the middle of a ninety-six hour Sci-Fi marathon.

"My fellow roaches!" The Dictator of roachatopia was preaching to his subjects. "Today is the day we strike a blow against our oppressors. To long have we lived in fear of the great green tongue. NO MORE! We shall hurt the Frog-Man where it counts ... "

"His Jewels?" One of the loyal subjects yelled from the back row.

"No, he is barely a man. HIS FRIEND AND FELLOW DWEEB! THE HUMAN OBSESSED WITH GAMES!"

"Him?" Another subject asked while holding a miniture camera designed to record what ever spectrum it is that roaches see with.

"Yes. The human named after a room full of games. ARCADE!" The Roach began to laugh.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Interior Lighting Section**

"Listen fellow oppressed household appliances." Lance had managed to snag a leather jacket and hat from the clothing department.

"We're not household appliances." Wanda was standing behind him holding a chart describing the hostile take over of Bayville.

"You're right." Lance blinked, "We need something better than light bulbs to take over the city. We need garden supplies."

"Why garden supplies?" Wanda looked at him, "Let's use fire."

"Fire's to obvious, we need something different." Lance stated.

"Angry mobs always use garden supplies, that isn't different." Wanda folder her arms, sad that she didn't get to play with fire.

"I know we can use toiletries!" Lance began to laugh crazily.

"Can we set them on fire?" Wanda looked hopeful.

"Of course, the only way to TP a house is with burning toilet paper." Lance continued laughing as some costumers called security.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"Up next on the marathon ... " Arcade was still in the middle of the Sci-Fi marathon.

"There he is." A roach commando said quietly to his troops.

"Sir there is no need to be quiet, humans can't hear us, least of all one who has destroyed his hearing with video games." Theroach science officer spoke from the rear.

"Really? The Great Green Toad can hear us, maybe not understand, but hear." The commando looked back.

"That is because he is part amphibian." The science officer the launched into an engaging tale of how the Toad became to be. Very little of it was true after the part involving the egg and the pond slime.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Bathroom Section _(A/N This is based of a caffeine/lack-of-sleep induced dream)_**

Once they got to the bathroom section and made a fort of toilet paper the security guards confronted them. The lead guard was a familiar face. The same security guard from the Arcade _(A/N see Chapter 3 Induction)._

"AGHH!" The guard, who's parents named him Moonshine while drunk, noticed Wanda and screamed remembering why he got fired from the arcade by the mall.

"Do I know you?" Wanda had a pasta strainer over her head.

"Na-Na-no." Moonshine was shaking in fear.

"Aren't you that guy from the arcade?" Wanda's face grew angry, "THE ONE THAT GRABBED MY SHOULDER? DIE SUB-EVOLVED APE OF A MAN!" Wanda grabbed a towel bar and ran at him.

"RUN MEN RUN! IT WAS SAFER IN THE MILITARY! WHY WON'T THEY LET ME GO BACK? I WON'T BE MEAN TO THE NEW RECRUITS ANYMORE! I NOW KNOW THAT THEY JOINED TO GET AWAY FROM CRAZY GIRLS!" Moonshine ran for his life as the other guards stepped out of Wanda's way.

"Aren't we suppose to stop these kids?" Vodka, Moonshine's brother, turned to his twin Tequila.

"One down one to go." Tequila was lazy, he preferred to let his older brother handle it.

"Okay." Vodka looked down the aisle and saw Lance wielding a scepter made from a toilet paper roll and half a shower curtain holder.

"HEY CRAZY KID! STOP!" Tequila shouted out showing the slightly controlling side that him and most of his nine brothers had due to the unstructured early home life.

"Crazy? CRAZY!" Lance's eye twitched, "WHAT IS CRAZY IS THAT YOU WORK FOR THE MAN! THE MAN! IT IS A GOVERNMENT COVER UP I KNOW IT!"

"Uh kid, I work for Flor-Wart, not the Government." Vodka looked at his brother with a look that said 'call the men in white coats.'

"THEY ARE THE SAME, HOW DO YOU THINK FLOR-WART GETS THE MONEY TO EXPAND SO FAST?" Lance twitched some more.

"American's hypocritical support freedom then the exploit the un-free allowing them to make lots of money?" Tequila stated as he fished out his Fonie (C) Brand Walkie-Talkie.

"THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK! IT IS CONSPIRACY INVOLVING THE ALIENS IN AREA 51! THAT IS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THEM! THE ALIENS CONTACTED THE EGYPTIANS AND STONEHENGE BUILDERS AND PLAN ON RULING THE WORLD!" Lance began to giggle.

"Cool dude I always thought the same thing man." Rum another brother of Moonshine, the one who didn't get the physiological insecurity with lack of authority figures, had finally gotten back from his hour long, 'five' minute break.

"Really?" Even in his crazed state Lance was still shocked at meeting someone as smart as him.

"Ya man, it's like the government is out to get us for the aliens." Rum looked around, "The secret to avoiding them is to become a double agent, working for the man and then when the revolution comes you can help. ANARCHY NOW!" Rum began to foam at the mouth.

"Dude, you're right. You can't trust anyone. Not even my right hand women, Wanda." Lance glanced around, "How do I know that, that story about being locked into the loony bin was true, what if it is a cover story."

Vodka turned to Tequila as they walked away, "Poor Rum is proof why you don't drink while pregnant."

"I'm surprised more of our family isn't like that? Only him, Whiskey, and Gin." Tequila shook his head.

"I thought it was more." Vodka began to mentally count of the ten brothers, "Moonshine is a control freak. Me and you are okay. Rum and his twin Brandy are both crazy, must be the genetics. The triplets, Whiskey, Gin, and Wine are less than sane but not as insane as Rum. Sake has a nice stable career in L.A. doing God know's what illegal activities while pretending to be a good cop. And finally baby Bourbon, he's okay, doing nicely in high school, he's only been a freshman for six years."

"Okay, I am not going to the family reunion next week." Tequila shook his head.

"Why not, I want to talk to cousin Weed again and meet his twin, Grass." Vodka thought about what he said, "I'm going to go legally change my name."

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"Up next on the marathon ... " Arcade really needed to go the bathroom but refused to miss one minute of obscure Sci-Fi commercial free stuff.

"Man that tale is messed up." The second in command of the roach army shook his head.

"Yeah, I don't want to make the Toad angry. He might find Roachatopia in the walls." The First in command added.

"Maybe we should abort the mission." The smallest roach said.

"I agree, who cares if we are genetically enhanced, no way we can defeat the Toad." The first in command turned to his troops, "Abort mission."

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Hunting Section**

"Oh, long lasting." Good Fred was looking through the tranquilizers.

"That is disgusting Fred, stop looking at enhancement drugs." Tabitha walked around the corner with Jubilee.

"I'm not, I'm looking at tranqs." Good Fred continued to decipher the half english half spanish labels.

"Why are you looking at tranqs?" Jubilee looked at Good Fred a littl bit afraid of the answer.

"For Lance, he's gone off the deep end again." Good Fred shook his head.

"He goes crazy often?" Jubilee's eyes went wide.

"Ya. When I lived there you never mentioned the government, Scott, big business, or basicly anything with power." Tabitha laughed.

"Big business? Why does he hate that? Without it we have no malls." Jubilee was confused.

"He thinks big business controls the government." Good Fred stated.

"Don't they?" Jubilee looked at them, "I mean politicians are corrupt and easily bribed."

"True." Tabitha nodded.

"Wait if you guys are here, does that mean Pietro is here?" Jubilee looked slightly worried at the thought.

"Why do you hate Pie?" Tabitha looked at her friend.

"HE HAS A SHRINE TO ME!" Jubilee shouted.

"WHAT? WHAT ABOUT MY SHRINE?" Tabitha was angry that her shrine was gone.

"HE HAD A SHRINE TO YOU AND YOU LIKED IT?" Jubilee shouted.

"Ya, he knows how to make a girl feel welcomed." Tabitha sighed.

"Do I have to detox another part of the house?" Good Fred asked.

"Yup, the entire basement." Tabitha sighed again.

"YOU HAD SEX IN THE BASEMENT?" Jubilee shouted.

"WHAT? NO! NEVER! NOT WITH HIM! He has a habit of making a mess by his shrines." Tabitha stated.

"I'm gonna hurl." Jubilee preceded to do so in the fake flowers that were helping the camouflage display.

"Hello my goddess." The said cause of her losing her launch appeared at super speed.

"Pietro, do you have a shrine of me?" Jubilee looked at the white haired speed demon.

"Of couse my goddess, I have eyes for no one but you."

"Or Mindy, Joana, Merry, Sarah - " Fred began to list Pietro's last few dates.

At the name Sarah Pietro flinched, "SARAH? WHERE? HIDE ME! I BEG YOU IN ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD SAVE ME!" And with that Pietro ran off to the mall to hide from his problems at the massage parlor.

"Well gotta go." Fred held up some darts, "These will work."

"At least I know what to say to get rid of Pietro now." Jubilee sighed.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

Arcade had managed to work out a system of peeing out the window while facing the TV.

"Okay so our bravest troops ran away in fear. REMEMBER THIS IS NOT THE TOAD IT IS A MERE HUMAN NOT EVEN A MUTANT THE 20th MOST SUPIOR SPEACIES. MUTANTS ARE ONLY THE 15th!" The Roach leader was once agian talking to the citizens of Roachatopia.

Arcade while doing one of his neighbor scaring 'bathroom' breaks jumped when the Hero on the TV was killed by a demon. This jumped caused him to wet a power outlet which was right by Roachatopia. "Woah, It's like a city in there." Arcade ignored his marathon in favor of watching the roaches scurry around trying to stop the wall and their homes from burning down.

"DEFEND! THE HUMAN HAS SEEN OUR SECRET! DESTROY HIM!" The Roach Ruler was screaming.

"WHAT ABOUT OUR HOMES!" A Roach mom started crying, "WE CAN'T STOP FIGHTING THE FIRE! MY BABY'S IN THERE!"

--------------------

**Massage Parlor**

"Hello Mr. Maximoff, here for another massage?" The receptionist smiled at their customer who was keeping the parlor in business single handily, "Please wait in that room."

Once in the room Pietro proceeded to strip down and wrap a towel around his waist. Once done undressing at super speed he laid down.

Soon the masseuse had walked in, it was Sarah. Smiling wickedly she began to slowly work away on Pietro's shoulders.

"Ah, that's good." Pietro sighed, "You wouldn't believe what the last few days of my life have been life. There is this girl who seems to be haunting me. At the slightest mention of her name I go crazy." He sighed again, "At least you aren't like that evil girl, Shana."

"Shana doesn't work here any more, I took her place." Sarah smiled as she tied Pietro to the table.

"Sa-Sa-Sarah?" Pietro gulped, "HELP ME!"

"No help now you little jerk. Just me, you and some evil looking objects." Sarah picked up a piece of artwork that seemed inspired by the artist's drug induced nightmares.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"JIHAD AGAINST ALL NONE ROACHES!" The slightly unstable roach leader was screaming at his troops who were fighting a losing fight against the fire, half the wall was gone.

"Man this is cool, it's like they are intelligent, look at those buildings, are those guns?" Arcade watched as do to luck the roaches burst a water pipe with a laser.

"Next on the special twenty-four hour B class movie section of our marathon we present, Mutant Roaches and the Nuclear Bomb." The marathon had moved into the section where it only showed bad movies. _(A/N I once saw a movie like this, really bad. And then all those jokes in those bad, early morning, while your sick, Wednesday cartoons)_

Stopping at the TV's words the roaches realized something, a nuclear bomb could stop all their problems. "Ah shit." Arcade cussed for the first time in his life realizing what was happening.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Electronics Section**

Good Fred finally cornered Wanda who had figured out a way to use a screwdriver, a VCR, and a pile of geeky magazines to launch flaming magazines though out the section.

"Wanda?" Good Fred knew better than to attempt to knock out Wanda.

"What?" Wanda stopped tossing flaming magazines and generally lost her crazed look.

"Are you feeling sane again?" Good Fred looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Wanda looked around, "Why aren't we in the Interior lighting section? And why do I feel like TPing city hall and lighting it on fire?" Wanda often didn't remember her episodes.

"Uh we are trying to catch Lance, he went crazy." Good Fred decided not to tell her what she had been doing.

"Another episode? Who is his target?" Wanda groaned.

"Flor-Wart." Good Fred replied, "Can you grab the light bulbs?" Good Fred also didn't want to have Wanda relapse into insanity.

"Okay." Wanda walked off surprisingly cheerful.

--------------------

**Massage Parlor**

"STOP IT PLEASE I BEG YOU!" Pietro screamed as Sarah continued to torture him with various objects.

"Fine, only one last thing to do." Sarah pulled out some bottles of hair spray, "White is a bad hair color."

"IT IS NOT WHITE, IT IS SILVER!" Pietro screamed, "SILVER AS IN quickSILVER! NOT WHITE NOT GREY! SILVER!"

"I think pink and purple strips is a better choice." Sarah smiled, not that Pietro could see while tied face down.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"How does it end? HOW DOES IT END?" Arcade had decided that humanity and mutantity's fate laid in the ending to the badly thought out movie. Turning around he saw the roaches drag something into the house which probably had already lowered his life expectancy.

"NONE SHALL STOP US NOT EVIL THE EVIL TOAD BOY!" The Roach Leader appeared to be affected by the radiation in a non lethal but still sanity challenging way.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Painting Section**

Good Fred finally found Lance, who was trying to paint an Anarchy sign on the floor. "Good night Lance." Fred jabbed a drat into Lance's backside.

--------------------

**Massage Parlor**

"Okay I'm done." Sarah said cheerfully as she pulled the towel off Pietro's hair, which happened to be the towel he had been wearing, "Now I have a KP meeting."

"A what meeting?" Pietro said between his tears.

"A Kill Pietro meeting, your going to be our guest speaker." Sarah placed hand/ankle cuffs on Pietro.

"Why do you have handcuffs at you job?" Pietro looked at Sarah.

"For bad customers." Sarah replied.

"Who goes to this meeting?" Pietro turned back to more pressing matters.

"People who you tried to sleep with, but failed, and now they want to kill you." Sarah replied.

"EVERY GIRL I EVER DATED?" Pietro apparently has bad luck getting past the first date.

"Not all of them, some of them are in foreign countries and can't come." Shara wheeled the table out with a very naked yet not embarrassed Pietro on it.

"Shouldn't you be embarrassed?" Sarah looked at the albino in front of her.

"Why? With a body like this I am God's gift to women." Pietro puffed out his chest.

"MY EYES!" The receptionist screamed and grabbed a spoon, used to scope out a type of face cream, and started to try and claw her eyes out.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart (C) Parking Lot**

The mutants stood by Lances jeep waiting for Lance to wake up so they could find another store. While waiting Wanda explained why they couldn't get light bulbs here, and why they couldn't come back to the store.

"That is messed up, yo. Who woulda' thought it, I can't believe fertilizer does that. And then paint. Man, the CDs were just wrong." Todd shook his head at the story while emergency vehicles swarmed the store.

"I TELL YOU SHE IS PURE EVIL!" Moonshine for some reason was being blamed for everything, mainly because he started the CDs.

--------------------

**Back at the Brotherhood house.**

"THAT'S IT!" Arcade had managed to watch the end of the show were the roaches were defeated when a seismic wave at the right frequency caused them to vibrate at the same freqency and undo their genetic modifications. _(A/N the movie I saw ended differently)._

It was that time when the rest of the Brotherhood, tired of trying wake Lance up, drove his car back. Once inside the strangest sight greeted them, half a nuclear missil silo and a large military training camp. Sitting in a corner was Arcade watching the TV.

"What it, yo?" Todd looked at the food.

"I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DEFEAT THESE MONSTERS!" Arcade shouted.

"Yeah let Toad scum eat them." Wanda shook her head.

"NO THAT'LL ANGER THEM! DIDN"T YOU WATCH MUTANT ROACHES AND THE NUCLEAR BOMB!" Arcade shouted.

"No." Todd said as he lined up a shot.

"THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THEM IS AN EARTHQUAKE AT THE FREQUENCY OF

70 HZ" _(A/N there is a reason for this, this is the number I got after 5 seconds of looking at resonance stuff about earthquakes, based off of somthing 1 in. tall. It is probably very wrong though.)_

"That's a pretty strong earthquake." Wanda looked at Arcade, "And we can't control the earth."

"LANCE CAN!" Arcade shouted happily.

"About that ... " Good Fred looked down.

"YOU JUST HAD TO USE LONG LASTING AGAIN! WHEN EVER YOU USE LONG LASTING TRANQUALIZERS WE NEED HIM!" Wanda began to yell at Good Fred, "YOU ARE UNFIT TO LEAD US! AS THE ONLY GIRL HERE I NAME MY SELF LEADER OF THE BROTHERHOOD!"

"Umm, leader, We need to do somthing, the movie only did that one thing, they didn't do anything else. In fact everything else helped them."

"Fine." Wanda formed a hex bolt, "DIE SCUM!" She threw it.

The hex bolt hit the center of the group of roaches and they began to swarm their fallen comrades and recycling their bodies as food.

GULP With one lick Todd had managed to eat a good few thousand bugs, "Sorry," Todd blushed at Arcade, "Hey they are talking, 'The Great Toad has eaten our comrades, attack.' Wonder what that means?" And with that the roaches launched an attack at the mutants.

"AH!" Wanda's reflexive hex bolt hit the Uranium en-richer. Out spewed Uranium that was only at .002 purity which wasn't dangerous. It was enough to get the geeky neighbor with a Geiger Counter to call the local authority on such things.

--------------------

**Local Authority On Such Things (C) HQ.**

"Hey John!" Matt called out into the room.

"Yeah!" John was by the coffee machine avoiding work.

"You're the guy who is suppose to handle all calls from that Forge guy right?" Matt asked.

"What is he calling about now? Aliens? Zombies? Possessed dust bunnies?" John sighed

"No fair, those dust bunnies were real." Matt defended the crazy guy.

"It was one bunny, and it was demonic." John stated as if it was a normal conversation to be talking about. Which considering the line of work for the Local Authority on Such Things it was.

"I think a demon inhabiting something makes it possessed." Matt stated, "Besides he is calling about uranium."

"So? Call DHS." John replied.

"He also claims there are genetically modified roaches there." Matt continued.

"Again? Last time that happened they made that documentary with real footage. What was it? Cockroaches Strike Back?" John scanned his memory.

"No that was the remake, it was Mutant Roaches and the Nuclear Bomb. Wasn't very good, had none of the emotion of the world ending and no one knowing." Matt said sadly.

"You're just mad because you weren't in it." John said, "So should we do something?"

"Yeah sure, everyone's bored. Send Blank and Zack to the house, they built the Tesla Earthquake Thingy (C)" John rubbed his head.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"This the place?" Zack looked at the tilting house.

"Appears so, looks like the roaches have lower standards now, last time it was the White house." Blank replied.

"And before that it was the Taj Mahal. And before that the Forbidden Palace." Zack shook his head, "That was a mess, with the Chinese government and everything, the Russians weren't happy that we couldn't get all their bombs back. At least they could convince people it was a clerk error."

"Well we got the Tesla Earthquake Thingy (C). It should be easier this time around." Blank pulled out a large evil looking device.

--------------------

**Inside Brotherhood House**

The Brotherhood was cornered in the kitchen as the roaches approached. Todd their only hope was full, and Wanda's powers acted like radiation to them, doing nothing.

"Guys if I die, carry Lance's sorry butt out of here." Good Fred was still carry Lance.

"Sure thing." Wanda was working away at a roach voodoo doll, sadly all her stuff was in her room, past the Roach Hordes.

"And if I die, go the jail and spit in my parents face." Arcade was on a chair using a broom to stop them from climbing up to him, "And if I live I will never watch a Sci-Fi movie again."

BANG The door flew of its hinges. Behind it was Zack and Blank wearing dark sun glasses and caring big shiny guns. "Someone call for an exterminator?" Zack cocked his gun.

"Who are you?" Todd moaned from his spot on the table.

"Call us the LAST" Blank placed the Tesla Earthquake Thingy (C) on the ground.

"Last?" Arcade looked at them.

"No, LAST" Zack repeated.

"That's what I said, last." Arcade looked at them.

"No you said it in lower case, it is upper case." Blank finished setting the Thingy up and threw the switch. Sadly ten years in storage is not good for such precision pieces of machinery. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Zack looked at him then the roaches which were preparing to launch a Molotov Cocktail at the two LAST agents _(A/N try reading this to someone.)_ "Uh-oh is bad in this business."

"What is your business?" Wanda didn't look up from her voo-doo doll.

"The LAST are the Local Authority on Such Things." Zack puffed his chest out.

"What things?" Arcade looked at them.

"UGG!" Zack grabbed his head, "That's our name. Every see the movie Mutant Roaches and the Nuclear Bomb?"

"Yup just watched it before these guys showed up." Arcade pointed at the roaches which had dropped their flaming cocktail and burnt down their armory.

"That is a documentary of our ninth fight with genetically enhanced roaches. The second one dealing with Periplaneta americana ductor supernus specifically."

"Wait the movie said that it was the government agency Women in Nice Earrings, the WINE, which caused the earthquake with their cold war era machine." Arcade looked at them.

"Please the WINE is nothing but a publicity stunt gone wrong." Zack scoffed.

"Guys, we are in the middle of a hostile take over, and our Tesla Earthquake Thingy (C) isn't doing its thingy." Blank looked at the roaches which had abandoned the fire and were arming miniature missiles. "I hope those are as useless as last time."

"Yeah, you'd think such smart things would know to use bigger bombs on something bigger than them." Arcade remembered the movie.

"Yeah well, we need an earthquake of unnaturally large proportions and no way of making it." Blank looked down.

"IF SOMEONE HADN'T KNOCKED LANCE OUT!" Wanda snapped at Good Fred.

"Not my fault, he was trying to over throw the government with paint and burning toilet paper." Good Fred's answer was meet with shocked looks from Blank and Zack.

"Is he okay?" Blank backed slightly away, while also dodging a missile.

"He only gets like that when 'The Man' is involved." Todd finally got the strength to eat a few more roaches, "ohhh! so full."

"Are you kids mutants?" The two LAST agents finally noticed that Todd was green and the others were messed up.

"They are. I'm not." Arcade pulled out the barbecue lighter and tried to burn some roaches.

--------------------

**Forge's house, two blocks over.**

"I wonder if those LAST agents need help." Forge was trying to create cold fusion in his toilet, "To bad I don't know where they went. It's almost like the don't want me to help."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"HELP!" Zack was running from a group of armed roaches!

"Don't be such a baby." Blank used his gun to blast a hole in the floor, "These guys haven't even gotten the growth serum."

--------------------

**Forge's house**

Having finished the cold fusion and declaring his bathroom a radioactive hazard, Forge began to work of a shrink formula, for no reason other than to get back at the people who picked on him in high school. "I wonder if Toad would want some of this for that Duncan guy?"

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"HEY TOAD!" Forge burst into the house and saw the bugs, "Hey Blank I'd thought you would have killed the bugs by now."

"Yo, Forge, a little busy." Todd hopped to the counter dodging a large brown blob.

"Forge, do you have another Tesla Earthquake Thingy (C), ours is broken." Zack had managed to get a hold of some cans of bug spray.

"No, I don't think that would work this time. These guys appear to be slightly different." Forge turned his arm into on of those exterminator things, "Hasta la vista baby." He then began to spray the bugs.

"GO FORGE ITS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY." Good Fred began to cheer.

"Bogue I'm out." Forge's arm changed back into a hand, "Well I got most of 'em."

"I'm out to." Zack dropped his empty cans, "Only a couple hundred left."

"Hey Toad, think you could eat some more." Wanda looked at her stalker.

"Not now." Todd groaned.

"Why are you here Forge, I made John promise not to let you know where we are." Blank looked at the Native American.

"I actually came to give Toad this shrinking formula to use on Duncan." Forge held up said chemical in a fragile class container.

"This won't be like your last shrinking formula? Will it?" Blank had a feeling of deja-vu.

"No, I made sure that it won't make the roaches grow, I learned my lesson from last time." Forge was insulted that they thought he could make the same mistake twice.

"No offense but you do cause trouble." Blank used his gun to wipe out a platoon of roaches which were trying to get Wanda, who was using a bottle of bleach to kill other roaches.

"That's rich, coming from someone with no name." Forge snapped waving his arms about, "What's your name oh yes, 'Black Birth Certificate' just because your parents were to lazy to name you!"

"STOP WAVING YOUR ARMS! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!"

"I'LL WAVE MY ARMS ALL I WANT!" Forge snapped.

"What happened last time?" Todd backed away from him. The bottle in Forge's hand flew out and broke on the ceiling splashing them all.

"That." Zack sighed as he shrunk.

"Okay." Todd hopped over to the others so he wouldn't be separated when they finished shrinking, "How'd the bugs manage to avoid the stuff?"

"No clue, that happened last time to." Zack moaned.

"I thought last time they got hit and grew?" Todd rubbed his chin.

"Yeah, but when we tried to shrink them again we got hit." Zack dropped his larger gun when it got to big to carry.

"anything we should know about before we finish shrinking?" Wanda glared at Forge.

"Um, these demonic dust bunnies are out to get me." Forge flinched under Wanda's glare.

"They aren't demonic, they were possessed." Zack folded his arms.

"I have to agree with Forge here, they were possessed by demons." Blank said.

"Guys, before we fight over demons, I would like to point out our only hope is waking Lance up." Good Fred pointed to Lance who was on the couch having managed to avoiding being hit by the shrinking juice.

"Okay, how long will he be out of it?" Blank asked.

"Let's see we gave him two darts of long lasting tranquilizer, five hours." Good Fred had done enough work with the tranqs on Lance to know that from memory.

--------------------

**End**

_Review and send in ideas (I have to fill a whole year, 365 days, I'll need them after the 27th chapter)._


	6. Aug 30, Lost

_Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof), a few of the teachers, and the clothes on my back (barely own these)._

_Sorry it took so long to update, I've had band and have been sick._

**August 30 - Wednesday - Lost**

--------------------

**Brotherhood house 4:00 AM.**

"Where is everyone?" Lance had finished looking for the rest of the Brotherhood using a flashlight, "And why didn't they get our light bulbs?"

Lance quickly swept the roaches outside using a broom. "Why are there roaches? Todd should have eaten them by now." He looked at the hole from where roachatopia had been burnt out, "Well at least the walls aren't any different."

--------------------

**KP meeting.**

"Hello fellow Pietro haters." Sarah was standing in front of a group of girls who were caring knives and bats, "I have brought Pietro here, let's torture him." All the girls approached Pietro with murder in their eyes.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house 6:00 AM.**

"Great did they get lost, again." Lance shook his head remembering a trip to the store to get some eggs which had ended up with the Brotherhood in Texas, never let Pietro give you directions.

"Should I go to school today?" Lance had taken up talking to himself whenever the Brotherhood was gone, "No I need to recover from that Flor-Wart, that and I don't want to see 'The Man.'" Lance sat for a few minutes, "I should go to that flea market in North Bayville."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house on the floor 6:00 AM.**

"Okay how do we get Lance's limited attention?" Todd was sitting on one of the roaches they had killed through the night.

"Don't know." Good Fred shrugged.

"While you kids work on that, me 'n Zack will take down the Roach Dictator." Blank pulled out his pistol which had shrunken with him.

"Those do nothing against their exoskeletons. We needed Wanda to hex a splinter threw them to kill them. Besides didn't you see Lance sweep them outside?" Arcade had fashioned a spear from a splinter.

"I know how to get his attention!" Todd shouted.

"How?" Forge looked at him.

"Wanda carries these Voo-doo dolls of everyone in the Brotherhood or X-men. We can use the one of Lance to get his attention." Todd smiled.

"My dolls are in my room." Wanda pointed to the mountain that was the stair case, "My room is up those stairs, one of which will break if something weighing more than an ounce touches it."

"I like a challenge." Forge stated.

"A challenge for you is seeing a VCR and not crying." Blank snapped.

"Why does he cry?" Wanda looked at Forge.

"It is the only thing he can't program." Zack shrugged, "Can build pocket dimensions, travel across the infinite universes but can't even make a VCR stop blinking."

"Even Toad can do that." Arcade shook his head.

"Correction, even Toad can remove the clock." Good Fred pointed out.

"Remember Lance trying to stop it from blinking." Wanda laughed at the memory.

"I thought he didn't want to program it?" Todd looked at her, "Something about 'The Man.'"

"That's only because it was a Fonie (C) Brand Dual layer, VCR master. Lance hates Fonie, something about spying on us with music." Wanda shrugged.

--------------------

**North Bayville, quasi-legal flea market.**

"This is the best." Lance was walking between a booth selling 'play' IDs and one selling possibly stolen jewelery.

"Want to buy something for your girlfriend." The fat man behind the jewelry held up a emerald necklace.

"Let me look." Lance looked at the displays and saw a sapphire necklace that looked just like Kitty's mom's. Causing a small earthquake Lance swiped the necklace. "No thanks I'm not interested n any of these."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house on the floor**

"Okay, we are the size of ants, are on the run from cockroaches, and Forge is saying that dust bunnies are going to attack us?" Arcade was starting to regret joining the brotherhood.

"Hey those dust bunnies are evil!" Forge whimpered as he remembered the last time they had crossed paths.

"Well if you had cleaned out your computer instead of programing that wetware interface, the AI, and the demon portal, then it wouldn't have attacked you." Blank snapped.

"How was I to know that a demon would get caught between me and the beam, and that the AI would rebel changing the beam, and that the beam would trap the demon in the dust bunny." Forge shook his head.

"Rule number one of AIs, they always rebel, not even the three laws can stop them." Blank smacked Forge.

"Hey the three laws are perfect." Forge defended his hero.

"Listen Forgey, Isaac Asimov wrote the laws, and then made a career writing stories explaining their flaws!" Blank yelled.

"You're just mad because your AI ate your history homework!" Forge snapped.

"IT WAS USING YOUR ROBOT AT THE TIME!" Blank screamed.

"Not my fault that your AI grew virus like tendencies and took over my robot." Forge defended.

"Battle of the geeks." Wanda shook her head and used her hexes to shut both of them up.

--------------------

**North Bayville, quasi-legal flea market.**

"Maybe I should get something for the others?" Lance looked around and stole a bottle of rare perfume for Pietro, "That was easy, now what to get for Toad?"

--------------------

**KP meeting.**

Pietro found that by shifting his weight he could move his table down the hall, "Who would have thought that so many of my ex's were mob bosses and assassins?"

"Gotta get out, gotta get out." Pietro was slowly rolling down the Cribton (C) Inn's hallway. "Amazing that in the fanciest Inn in the Bayville area, no one has noticed a naked god tied to a table."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Uh guys, could you stop arguing long enough to tell me something." Todd was staring away from the group.

"Yeah sure. What?" Arcade was also bored by the conversation.

"Is that a rat?" Todd pointed to said creature which was fast approaching.

"Yes." Arcade turned back to the game of Tic Tac Toe he and Good Fred were scratching into the floor.

"Goody." Todd seemed unconcerned for a few seconds, "In all the bad movies with plot lines involving shrinking, are the rats good or bad?"

"Well it is my rat." Wanda said.

"It's bad." Good Fred groaned.

"Why do you have a rat?" Forge turned to Wanda ignoring to approaching threat.

"It's smarter than all these people." Wanda defended.

"True." Forge went back to his argument.

"Are we going to be eaten?" Arcade didn't look up from his hangman game.

"It is probable." Good Fred looked at the game wondering what LNCE S N DOT meant.

"Aren't you going to do something?" Arcade finally finished it.

"No, Wanda's the leader now." Good Fred had made the little man die.

"Okay, men." Wanda went into leader mode, "Our plan of attack is simple, Toad go feed it so that it doesn't want to kill us."

"How do I feed it?" Todd looked at Wanda.

"Stand in front of it and shout 'Eat me.'" Wanda smiled evilly.

"Uh, sugarplum, that would kill me." Todd didn't understand that, that was her plan.

"Sacrifices must be made for the greater good." Wanda said simply.

"No." Zack refused to let the scary green kid die, "The LAST fight to the last man, no one goes alone."

"I hate those puns." Blank groaned.

"Fine then how do we defeat it?" Wanda pointed to the running rat.

"It's your pet will it attack you?" Good Fred looked at her.

"I trained it to be an attack rat, it suppose to keep Toad out of my room." Wanda shrugged.

"Really? I just kept picking it up and putting it in its cage." Todd looked at her, "why can't I go in your room?"

"BECAUSE YOU GO THROUGH ALL MY DRAWERS!" Wanda shouted.

"Not all just your lingerie drawer." Todd defended.

"Wrong thing to say my friend." Arcade backed away from Todd, Wanda's new target to practice on.

--------------------

**Random Bayville Street.**

Lance had quickly gotten bored with the flea market and had left. Walking down the other way was Mr. Halif.

"Lance? Why aren't you in school?" Mr. Halif paused when he saw his trouble causing student.

"Why aren't you teaching?" Lance sniffed, "Were you drinking?"

"Hic, no, I was merely recovering during my planning period." Mr. Halif hiccuped.

"Your planning period ended an hour ago." Lance crossed his arms, "You are being a bad influence.

"Look Kid, I hate my students." Halif looked at him, "Remember how crazy first period was on Monday?"

"Yes." Lance remembered.

"THAT IS A GOOD CLASS!" Mr. Halif sobbed, "Without you there Kitty starts to tear into everyone. If I like hear like on more time I will shot my self!" He paled, "LIKE, I'M TALKING LIKE HER!"

"Breathe Mr. Halif." Lance patted his back.

"And that is the good student, you should see the bad ones." Mr. Halif took a deep breathe.

**----FLASH BACK 2nd Period----**

"Okay class, welcome." Please let's not cause that much trouble today, please?" Mr. Halif had pleaded. BOOM! The trouble maker had just come from chemistry. Luckily Halif put the fire out before everything burned.

**----End FLASH BACK 2nd Period----**

"And no one thanked me for putting it out." Halif fell to the floor sobbing.

"It's okay, sir." Lance awkwardly patted his back, "I'm sure that they will give you a bonus when this is done."

"HA! Principal B is worst than Kelly, he has cheated us teachers out of half our money, and gives all the bonuses to himself!" Halif began to mumble about revenge.

"Okay, do you want to go torture Principal Blooming-han-tran-fish-co-mon-calit," Lance sounded out each syllable

"Sorry, I have a KP meeting to attend." Halif sniffed.

"A what meeting?" Lance looked at him.

"Kill Pietro, it is mostly his old girlfriends but since I am a teacher at the school I am allowed in." Halif wiped his tears away.

"You don't have him in any classes?" Lance backed away a step.

"So? He comes in every day and tortures me." Halif sobbed, "At least he didn't come today."

--------------------

**Cribton Inn (C)**

"HELP ME!" The nude speed demon had managed to roll outside of an important meeting between two obscure nations trying to maintain peace while the US mediated.

"Al-wos ca? Funjick?" roughly translated this meant 'Is that the entertainment?'

"Lo con farlet!" an even rougher translation 'I hope not, I am going to have nightmares!'

"Fookit no Amerika." rough translation, 'I am insulted by America, I am declaring war on them!'

"Lo le." translation 'me to.'

And so the United States liberated Mernika and Nernika's oil and people.

--------------------

**Random Bayville Street.**

"So, Mr. Halif, I thought you were going to that meeting?" Lance was eating Lunch at 3 PM with his teacher.

"I don't want to think about my students." Halif grunted.

"Then why are you with me?" Lance looked at him.

"You're buying." The teacher shrugged.

"About that." Lance glanced around and saw no waiters, "I think it is time to leave."

"Oh right, you and your friends steal." Halif got up and casually left.

"You're a bad teacher." Lance shook his head at the thought of a teacher just walking out on a bill.

"Us teachers don't make much, and with that demon of a Principal stealing half our pay check we make less." Halif shrugged, "You should see how we get beer for the teacher parties."

"Teacher parties?" Lance looked at him.

"What do you think we do after school,on weekends, and those teacher 'work' days?" Halif looked at Lance, "I thought you were my smartest student?"

"Yeah I once thought that but Kitty said ... " Lance began.

"Who cares what that valley girl said? Let's go torture the principal." Halif looked slightly less drunk but still not in his right mind.

--------------------

**Principal B's House.**

"Uh, Mr. Halif, I like trashing the Principal's car as much as the next guy, but you're a teacher." Lance watched as Halif took a bat to the car's window.

"I remember doing this to my Principal in high school. That son of a-." Halif paused, and considered what the professional ramifications of cussing in front of a student were, "I hated him."

"Can I at least have a turn?" Lance had been watching the whole time that Halif had been hammering on the car.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

BANG Zack's gun didn't even phase the rodent, "AH! HELP!" but it did make the Rat mad enough to grab him.

"HIT HIM IN THE EYE!" Blank ran around trying to get a clear shot, "THAT's WHAT WE DID WHEN WE BATTLED THE SEWER RATS BY THE CHEMICAL FACTORY!"

"I CAN'T MOVE MY ARMS! YOU HIT HIM!"

"HEY MUTANTS HELP!" Blank screamed at the mutants who had been watching.

"Why?" Todd asked, "You guys are the local authority on such things."

"RULE 98 OF LAST! TAKE HELP IF YOU NEED IT!" Zack screamed as the rat shook him around like a dog.

BANG BANG BANG Blank fired three shoots , two of them hit the rat in its left eye, "I GOT IT!"

"NOW HIT THE OTHER EYE!" Zack screamed as the rat thrashed in pain with him still in its mouth.

"Uh, I'm out of bullets." Blank muttered.

"WHAT! RULE 100 OF THE LAST! ALWAYS CARRY EXTRA BULLETS!" Zack screamed as he prepared to hurl.

"You were suppose to pack this time." Blank grabbed Arcade's splinter spear, "ATTACK ALL TOGETHER NOW!" Blank charged forward, none of the mutants followed. The rat's tail flung Blank to the side, "Ow."

"Yo, I thought 'now' was part of the command not the signal." Todd hopped over to him.

"I have no spear because you just broke mine, so don't expect help from me." Arcade sat on a roach body that Lance hadn't swept out.

"DIE MY USELESS ATTACK RAT!" Wanda threw a hex bolt at the rat causing it to drop Zack.

"Finally," Zack wiped the saliva off himself, "I'm surprised it didn't bite harder."

"Hasta La Vista Baby." Forge's arm turned into a large gun like contraption.

"HA HA!" Todd jumped over the rat distracting its good eye.

"I'M THE BLOB! TRY AND MOVE ME!" Good Fred grabbed the rat's shoulder's and held on.

--------------------

**Bayville High.**

"Mr. Halif," Lance was following the drunk teacher, "Why are we here? It's after school."

"Because, Principal B keeps a stash in here." Mr. Halif rubbed his hands together and pulled out his master key.

"What sort of stash?" Lance had given up on trying to stop being scared by him.

"The stash." Mr. Halif chuckled.

"Drugs or Porn?" Lance muttered under his breath. The two delinquents roamed the halls until they got to the main office.

"Here we are." Mr. Halif opened the door to Principal B's office, "The place that dreams are made of, or nightmares if you are a student."

"What sort of dreams?" Lance was still nervous around the teacher.

"Dreams of world domination if you are crazy like that. Mostly of preventing hostile takeovers if you're saner like me." Halif went to a drawer.

"So either way if you are crazy." Lance muttered.

"I am the LAST sane man on earth." Mr. Halif pulled out a box of candy, "The stash."

"Of course, why wouldn't a drunk go to candy instead of beer, porn, or drugs." Lance shook his head.

"Who's drunk?" Mr. Halif looked around, "Do they want my candy?"

"That's Principal B's candy." Lance pointed out.

"I think it is better for the world if I take the candy." Mr. Halif said.

"Why?" Lance backed away a step.

"Principal B is working with the aliens and Flor-Wart." Mr. Halif giggled, "Those other agents laughed and gave me a retirement bonus, but I knew I would stop him."

"Flor-Wart is involved? I thought Flor-Wart worked for the government, why would they want to take over themselves?" Lance's reasonable side was trusting Mr. Halif.

"Both Flor-Wart and the government are pawns of the Aliens." Mr. Halif ate some candy.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Okay we have defeated the rat, now what?" Blank turned to their improvised team, Zack armed with dumb luck, Wanda with permanent PMS and hex bolts, Good Fred with blubber, Arcade with to many Sci-Fi movies and a new splinter spear, and Todd with his slime and feet (which can jump pretty high now that he is smaller).

"We should contact, the LAST FR Squad, they can help." Zack offered.

"The what squad?" Forge looked at him.

"Forge Reversal, deals with Forge's mistakes." Zack stated.

"You deal with Forge a lot, don't you." Wanda looked at the LAST agents.

"Let's just say we were formed because of him, and our business dropped by 98 when he was trapped in his middleverse. In fact we were suppose to get him out of there, but we got distracted." Zack shrugged.

"YOU KNEW ALONG WHERE I WAS AND DIDN'T HELP ME!" Forge screamed.

"Well, we got distracted with other none Forge related stuff." Blank mumbled

"30 YEARS OF DISTRACTION PREVENTED YOU FROM PUSHING A SINGLE BUTTON!" Forge felt betrayed by the people he had given a job to.

"Look at it from our bosses point of view, get paid the same amount for very little work." Zack shrugged again.

"Fine, no is not the time, when I am full size I will get my robot to kill you." Forge said before he began to think of a plan.

"I suggest we go to Forge's lab so he can undo this." Wanda offered her suggestion, "You do have an antidote? Don't you?" Her voice grew icy at the last part.

"Uh..." Forge shifted his weight.

"No he never makes an antidote, why do you think the FR has a special sub squad to deal with chemicals." Blank said.

"I could make an antidote." Forge offered.

"Fine we will go to Forge's lab. Forge will work on an antidote, and Zack will try to raise FR on the phone." Blank went into leader mode.

--------------------

**Random Bayville Street.**

Pietro finally made it to the outside world, "FREEDOM!"

"Hello Duke's friend." Evil Fred smiled at him.

"Ah man, talk about out of the frying pan into the fire." Pietro hung his head.

"IS THAT A JOKE ABOUT ME EATING A LOT!" Evil Fred roared causing passersby to look up at him and see the nude Pietro.

"ROLL AWAY!" Pietro began to shift his weight back and forth at super speed causing the cart to go a blazing 1 inch a second.

"I won't kill you," Evil Fred turned away from Pietro "I am to scared by you, go put clothes on."

"Why does everyone act like my body is traumatizing?" Pietro asked to Evil Fred's retreating back, "I am a god, they should worship my body."

--------------------

**Outside the Brotherhood house.**

"Who would have thought it would take us an hour to get outside?" Todd muttered, as the rest of the group laid down after their efforts to get outside had made them use a gun and some minor explosives.

"Okay, which way is your house?" Blank turned to Forge.

"Uh, everything looks different from down here." Forge flinched under the group's glares.

"Start talking boy or you won't be able to walk there." Wanda held up a fist.

"That way." Forge pointed in a random direction.

"You lead." Wanda pushed Forge forward.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart**

"Why are we here." Lance had followed the former LAST agent on his mad quest for the safety of the world.

"If we bring Flor-Wart down than we can get at the Aliens." Mr. Halif smiled as he walked into the beer and wine section, right by the dairy products.

"Okay, but why in this section?" Lance looked at the alcohol.

"I need more beer to help me think." Mr. Halif took a beer bottle and drained it in front of an under paid, over worked, and just not caring employee.

"Okay, can I have some?" Lance looked at it like any teenage rebel without a cause would.

"No, you're to young." Halif drained another bottle.

"Fine." Lance went off into the rest of the store to cause a small riot.

--------------------

**Yet Another Random Bayville Street.**

"This town does not have a good imagination when it comes to naming streets." Pietro looked at the street sign.

"AH! MY EYES!" An old lady threw a coat over the scary mutant and ran.

"THANKS!" Pietro yelled at the retreating women, "IT WAS GETTING COLD!"

--------------------

**Outside the Brotherhood house (by the gutter).**

"How do we get down there?" Todd looked over the edge.

"Easy." Wanda shoved him off, "Who's next?" She turned to the others.

"Um, I think we could go to the cross walk where it makes a gental slope." Zack pointed to said cross walk.

"Party pooper." Wanda huffed.

--------------------

**Flor-Wart Toy section**

"I hate this place." Lance glared at the slightly creepy smilies on the toys.

"Why?" Lance turned and saw a young child holding a overly happy clown toy.

"WHY?" Lance glared at the innocent child, "Look at that clown, so happy."

The child nodded, "Thats why I like it."

"Did you every think about who made it?" Lance's eyes went wide with rage, "Of course you didn't, it was made by a poor kid your age who is forced to work long hours making happy clown toys so that your parents can spoil you!"

"WAA!" The child ran a way crying while throwing the clown into the air.

"I did it agian?" Lance held his head.

"Scar a kid for life?" An employee who had seen Lance do that before came out from behind a shelf, "Yup."

"Man, I need to stop doing that." Lance sighed.

--------------------

**Outside the Brotherhood house (on the cross walk).**

"Man it's getting late." Todd looked at the moon.

"I know." Good Fred mumbled, "I hate the dark."

"Why?" Wanda still had her hand threatening to kill Forge.

"Well this one time on the farm." Good Fred began.

"Never mind, I don't want to know." Wanda shook her head.

"Well I do, a good story could lift our spirits." Blank stated as the group finally got to the other side.

"Trust me, I've heard this story, you don't." Todd shuddered at the memory of the last time Good Fred told this particular story.

"Now which way." Blank turned to Forge.

"Um, left, I think" Forge looked at the over sized world.

"We're lost, aren't we." Zack groaned.

"Yes." Blank sighed.

--------------------

**Bayville Park.**

"I can't believe that no one decided to help someone who was strapped to a table." Pietro grumbled, "And calling the loony police! I am not an escaped maniac, that's my sister."

Pietro looked around, "I'll wait here for someone to help me."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Were did those guys go?" Lance had stopped following MR. Halif when the police had showed up.

Turning to the TV Lance used its light to navigate around the living room.

--------------------

End

_Review and send in ideas (use the contact button on my profile page)._


	7. Aug 31, Found

Disclaimer, I own nothing but the plot (or lack thereof).

**August 31 - Thursday - And**

--------------------

**Brotherhood house 12:00 PM**

"Maybe I should go to school so I can apologize to Kitty." Lance had finally woken up, "But if I do that will she think I am whipped?" Lance walked around the Brotherhood house for a few minutes, "I'm going back to bed."

--------------------

**1 block away.**

"GET UP ALREADY!" Blank screamed at the mutants, who in an attempt to avoid being walked on, had slept in a yard.

"I'm up now zzz." Todd fell back down.

"Man what time is it?" Forge looked up at the sun.

"IT IS TWELVE HUNDRED!" Blank screamed.

"There are only twenty four hours in a day." Good Fred scratched his head.

"I was using military time." Blank groaned.

"Oh. What is it in civilian time?" Good Fred attempted to convert.

"Twelve o'clock." Blank rubbed his eyes.

"How do you know, you don't have a watch." Good Fred stared at Blank's wrist.

"I have a good internal clock." Blank sighed.

"Really? You have a clock in you. If I ate a clock could I tell time like you?" Good Fred looked at him.

"Yes." Blank gave up on trying to talk to the mutant.

"Okay lets move people." Zack decided to help Blank get the mutants moving.

"To early." Todd moaned.

"Fred can you carry him." Zack didn't even try to wake him up.

--------------------

**Bayville Park**

"Who would have thought it would be so hard to sleep strapped to a table with only a moldy old jacket to save the innocence of the children that are playing." Pietro murmured, "AND WHY HAS NO ONE HELPED ME?"

"Because, frankly you scare us." An old lady walked by feeding some pigeons.

"If you help me I will leave." Pietro for once in his swallowed his pride.

"Okay." The old lady turned around and removed the bods holding Pietro down.

"FREEDOM!" Pietro jumped up forgetting the jacket and started to dance around the terrified people.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"Up next on the third day of our ninety six hour Sci-Fi marathon ... "

"I have been hanging around Arcade to long." Lance had started watching the marathon when he realized it is impossible to go back to sleep after waking up.

--------------------

**Somewhere on a sidewalk.**

BURAMMMMMM The group of undersized mutants and LAST agents turned around to see a lawn mower following the edge of the lawn.

"AH WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Todd hopped into the lawn in fear, only to be followed by the rest of the group, save Blank.

"ZACK! FORGE! YOU IDIOTS!" Blank screamed as he ran away from the lawn, "DIDN'T YOU LEARN LAST TIME! WHEN THERE IS A LAWN MOWER RUN AWAY FROM THE THING IT IS CUTTING!" The airflow from the lawnmower pushed Blank into the street.

"Rule number five of the LAST: When you are tiny, DON't GET IN THE ROAD!" He mumbled as he dust himself off and looked at the black wasteland around him.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"I'M BACK!" Pietro speed into the house stark naked, "Did you miss me?"

"MY EYES!" Lance fell off the couch.

"Why does everyone do that?" Pietro speed upstairs and came down dressed.

"Where are the others?" Lance asked.

"Huh? I left them at Flor-Wart two days ago." Pietro replied.

"It took the fastest man alive two days to get home?" Lance looked at Pietro.

"No, I ran into Sarah." Pietro looked down in same.

"That girl who was going to Harvard?"

"For some reason she was still in town."

"So what happened she didn't take you to that KP meeting? Did she?" Lance asked.

"How'd you know?" Pietro was insulted that everyone knew about his critics.

"You know Mr. Halif?"

"Yes."

"I meet him, and he was drunk, he started rambling about strange things." Lance shrugged.

"So where are the others?" Pietro asked.

"I don't know, I woke up here and they were no where to be found, they didn't even get light bulbs." Lance replied missing his light bulbs.

--------------------

**Stranger's Lawn.**

"RUN! WOMEN AND FROG PEOPLE FIRST!" Todd ran past the others with Wanda on his back.

"Did you see that? Arcade looked at Good Fred who was struggling to stay ahead of the mower.

"No." he panted.

"Why are you running, you have invulnerable skin." Arcade gasped.

"Good point." Good Fred stopped dead in his tracks and was picked up by the mower, "AH!"

"Ow." Arcade managed to get out of the path of the mower, "Hey if I go to the grass that is already cut then I don't have to worry."

"I think we lost it." Zack panted to Forge, the only one who had stayed with him.

"I told that going into the cut grass would work." Forge smiled at his own genius, "Why cut grass twice?"

"Do you think the others made it?" Zack looked around.

"ARAGH!" Good Fred landed with a dull thump on the ground beside them, "Ohhh, even with invulnerable skin that hurt."

--------------------

**Somewhere Else In The Stranger's Lawn.**

"Okay, I am the size of an ant, I am in a lawn, and I am alone." Arcade muttered to himself, "Normal day."

"YOU CAN STOP HOPPING NOW TOAD!"

"And there is Wanda, I am no longer alone." Arcade sighed as Todd and Wanda burst into view.

"See I told you I would find someone cuddle cakes." Todd stopped hopping so that Wanda could get off, and was hexed into a small (from a normal perspective) rock.

"She has it bad for me." Todd said.

"That is sad." Arcade shook his head.

"I know." Wanda was on the verge of tears.

--------------------

**Middle of the Road.**

"Not again." Blank was pressed up against one of those center divider reflectors.

"Hello." A voice spook behind him.

"WHO!" Blank turned around and saw a familiar face, "Smith?"

"Yes." The man walked forward, he looked like he had seen better days.

"I thought you were dead, you died last time we fought cockroaches." Blank stared at his old friend.

"No, apparently you can survive harder throws when you are smaller, something about mass and gravity." Smith shrugged.

"So for the last few years you have lived ant sized in the middle of this road?" Blank looked at him.

"No, for the last few years I have tried to get to the FR squad." Smith stated.

"Oh, they are in that lawn over there. The ran into when the lawn mower came." Blank and Smith casually dodged a bad driver.

"That was stupid." Smith said.

"Yes, but that guy has no respect, blowing the clippings out into the street. Everyone knows you aim it inwards for the first few loops." Blank said, "So of course I get blown out here."

"So where are the rest of the group going?" Smith asked.

"Forge's house." Using his internal compass Blank was able to remember which way they had been walking and pointed that way.

"Forge lives in the other direction." Smith looked at him.

"Oh?" Blank's eye's went wide, "The others are screwed right?"

"Big time," Smith agreed, "You know never to trust Forge to pick directions."

"Shrinking reset my internal compass." Blank stated.

"Really how does it work?" Smith for most of his career at LAST had heard Blank talk about his internal compass and had always wondered what it was like, that and he was bored and they couldn't move in the rush hour traffic.

"I orientate myself with a street sign usually, or a tree. or the sun, basically I orientate myself but I lost it when I shrunk." Blank began to sob because for the ninth time in his life he felt lost (nine also happens to be the number of times he has shrunk).

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"So they aren't with you, or me." Lance looked at the speed demon.

"No." Pietro shook his head, "Hey has that hole always been there?" He pointed to Roachatopia.

"I didn't notice." Lance looked at the hole.

"It does seem newer than all the other burns." Pietro scratched his head.

--------------------

**Stranger's Lawn Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"Okay so what do we do?" Forge said to Zack as Good Fred ate a blade of grass.

"Find the others." Zack stated.

"And where are they?" Forge asked.

"Well, Blank probably was smart and didn't jump into the grass. The others are screwed." Zack shrugged.

"MY FRIENDS ARE DOOMED!" Good Fred sobbed around a bite of grass.

"No they are not, all we have to do is get bigger and use Xavier's mutant detector to find them." Forge attempted to reassure the ant sized giant.

--------------------

**Stranger's Lawn Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"I hate my life." Wanda groaned as the three mutants blazed a trail through the grass with the boys singing annoying songs.

"WOOT! SHE HATES SOMETHING OTHER THAN ME!" Todd literally jumped five feet into the air.

"YOU ARE THE REASON I HATE MY LIFE!" Wanda hexed the frog once he got back down.

"STOP!" Arcade stopped Wanda from killing Todd, "Since when could Toad jump that high?"

"Must be the size thingy." Todd shrugged not noticing the the evil grins the other's gave each other.

--------------------

**Middle of the Road.**

"Man you've lived like this for all these years?" Blank asked Smith as they walked between the two yellow lines.

"Yes. I have hated every second of it, not knowing if an ant would try to eat you." Smith looked at Blank, "I hated ants even before I shrunk."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"So," Pietro looked at the near empty room, "Our team is missing, there is a hole in the wall, and slightly more slime than usual."

"I didn't notice the slime." Lance looked at the slime left by Todd when he fought the roaches, "Is it a bad sign that I am getting use to the slime?"

"Oh yes." Pietro nodded, "Any bets on what Wanda did to them?"

"Murder? No to quick." Lance pondered for a minute, "I'll take the long shot and bet that she didn't do this."

"Easy money." Pietro grinned.

--------------------

**Stranger's Lawn Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"How long have we been walking?" Good Fred groaned as his stomach moaned.

"An hour." Forge replied while using his arm as a fan, "Glad I installed this when I had to go to camp."

--------------------

**Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"WAH!" Arcade and Wanda were riding Todd as he hoped back to the Brotherhood house.

SPLAT Sadly they hit a car's windshield.

"Wow, we are alive." Arcade managed to yell as he held onto the antenna.

"I'm going to kill Toad." Wanda was right by him.

"Mempht!" Todd's tongue was holding him on.

--------------------

**At an intersection.**

"So." Blank looked at the intersection, "How do we cross."

"We wait for some one to stop an hitch a ride." Smith looked at the traffic light, "Okay it's red get ready."

"Want to get on this Mustang?" Blank pointed at the nearby car.

"Sure." They quickly climbed up the tire and held onto a ridge on the underside of the car.

"WEHAA!" Blank screamed when the car took off.

"Do I hear sirens?" Smith looked around but couldn't see anything.

"I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BUT WIND!" Blank really hated being small.

"WHAT?" The car got faster and Smith couldn't hear anything.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"Do you hear sirens?" Lance looked up from where he and Pietro were watching normal teenage boy's shows.

"Don't know, don't care." Pietro switched the TV to a local news station when the show ended.

"This is Trish speaking." The reporter was standing in front of a TV showing a helicopter view of the neighborhood, "John Lendalindi who was arrested on the 25 recently broke out of jail and is now driving towards his house in a Mustang."

"Mr. Lendalindi was arrested for drug charges and knows that his house has been cleared out, so officers are confused why he would head there once he got free." Trish was reading a piece of paper.

--------------------

**Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"That blade of grass looks familiar." Good Fred looked at a piece of grass shaped like a heart.

"It does." Zack stared at it, "Hey genius navigator, where are we?"

"Somewhere..." Forge looked around.

"WE'RE LOST!" Good Fred sobbed.

"No we're not." Forge tried to comfort him, "We just are a little miss placed."

"Look its simple." Zack sated, "We pick one direction and walk perfectly straight until we hit the sidewalk, then we just go until we find a street sign."

"Okay." Good Fred sniffed.

--------------------

**Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"AHHHHH!" Arcade screamed, "WHEN WILL THIS GUY RUN OUT OF GAS!"

"MUM MONM MOE!" Todd attempted to yell 'I don't know.'

"I'LL TRY TO USE MY POWERS!" Wanda screamed.

"NO!" Arcade panicked.

"MUMMIN MAME, MOE!" Todd attempted to yell 'Muffin Cake, no!' as Wanda hexed the engine of the car.

"WEEEE!" Wanda squealed as she flew through the air.

"AHHHH!" Arcade didn't enjoy it as much.

"AHHHH!" Neither did Todd.

"Ompf." Arcade and Todd said as they landed on a window sill.

"Hehe." Wanda giggled when she landed softer than them.

--------------------

**Mustang**

"HEY IT'S SLOWING!" Blank screamed at the calm Smith.

"Yes, yes it is." Smith shrugged.

"WHAT!" Blank yelled.

"YES IT IS!" Smith replied in kind.

"NO NEED TO GET SNAPPY WITH ME!" Blank yelled back.

"SHUT UP AND PREPARE TO JUMP!" Smith replied.

"NOW?" Blank was worried about meeting the pavement at this speed.

"NO WHEN IT STOPS!" Smith replied as the car came to a stop, "Hey those are sirens. BANG BANG BANG

"Three shots, never a good sign." Blank said as the driver of there ride ran by.

"That explains the sirens." Smith stated.

"Just our luck, jump onto the car of a felon." Blank shook his head.

"You know the LAST is cursed right?" Smith asked.

"Not this again." Blank remembered last time Smith went on this rant all those years ago.

"Come on, that luck rabbits foot that the Boss wears. I saw a witch curse it." Smith replied as they both got down, "And it wasn't lucky for the rabbit."

"Now where are we?" Blank looked around.

"I would assume 6556 Northwood street." Smith shrugged.

"How?" Blank looked at his friend.

"That sign." Smith pointed to a sign, "I think the police caution tape is a bad thing."

"Hey, I remember this place from the news." Blank remembered where he had heard of this place, "Some big drug dealer was working from here."

"That explains it." Smith groaned.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"What do you want to do?" Lance said as he slumped into the couch.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" Pietro was flicking through channels at super speed.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"Wanna go search for the others?" Lance asked.

"No, Wanda will bring their bodies back when she is done" Pietro replied.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"Hey look there's a cop chase going on." Pietro stopped the TV on the News station again.

"Its still Mr. Lendalindi making a break for it." Lance shrugged, "Change it."

BANGBANGBANG

"Oh look they are right outside." Pietro said after he heard the shots, "Should we get down?"

"Might be the smart thing to do." Lance stated as neither of them moved.

BANGBANGBANG

"So, wanna go torture Kelly?" Pietro gave up on the TV when it started letting out blue smoke.

"Okay." Lance got up and went to his Jeep.

--------------------

**Kelly's Office**

"Sir." Dorothy walked in, "There is a delivery for you."

"Delivery?" Kelly looked up from his very important game of solitaire, "I wasn't expecting anything."

"Here ya go sir." Lance dressed like a UPS guy walked in, "One month supply of Viagra. Didn't you get a month's supply last week?"

"WHAT?" Kelly gasped.

"Yeah, I got ya down for a month supply, one week from today to. Man you must get a lot." Lance grinned.

"WHAT! YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU!" Dorothy screamed.

"NO! DOROTHY!" Kelly screamed as Dorothy walked out.

"That was easy." Pietro sped in, "Man Kelly you need to work on your women skills."

"YOU! DIE!" Kelly jumped over his desk as the two mutants ran.

--------------------

**Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"I see my house!" Forge pointed to a house that looked like every other house.

"Good, how do we get in?" Zack looked at the inventor.

"Uh..." Forge searched for an answer.

"It's okay guys, all we gotta do is wait for someone to open the door, then we sneak in." Good Fred said as he slumped by the door.

"My parents are out of town." Forge mumbled blushing.

"We are screwed." Good Fred said never losing his smile.

"AHHHH!" Zack began to panic.

"I thought you were the one who panicked." Forge said to Good Fred.

"I have gotten all of the negative fears out of my system." Good Fred replied with a smile.

"You are in denial?" Forge asked.

"Yes." Good Fred said before falling asleep.

--------------------

**Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"Where are we?" Arcade looked around.

"Wanda's window." Todd stated.

"How do you know that?" Arcade asked.

"I've snucked in here enough to know." Todd shrugged.

"WHAT!" Wanda hexed Todd into the side of the window.

"Hey Wanda, you think your voodoo could make us bigger?" Arcade asked not noticing Wanda pummel Todd.

"Maybe." Wanda dropped Todd.

"How do we get in?" Todd looked at the window.

"Easy." Wanda grabbed Todd's tongue and wiggled it under the very small crack between the window and the sill, "Turn the lock."

"Mumfay." Todd tried to say 'okay.'

--------------------

**Somewhere Else.**

"On the road again." Smith sang.

"I finally realized why I didn't miss you that much." Blank moaned, "YOU SING TO MUCH AND OFF KEY!"

"Sorry but being alone for a couple years does that to a man." Smith shrugged, "On the road again..."

"YOU SANG LIKE THAT BEFORE YOU GOT SHRUNK!" Blank screamed.

"I wasn't talking about shrinking, I was talking about that time I got stranded on the desert island and had to eat cacti and whatever washed up onto the shore." Smith shrugged before restarting the sang.

"You weren't alone for a couple of years when that happened." Blank glared, "It was five days and I was there."

"Not that time, the other time." Smith replied, "The time involving the monkeys and the mad scientist."

"Which mad scientist? Forge or one of the other ones." Blank tried to remember which mission had involved Smith getting trapped on an island.

"Other ones, Doctor Laugh, I think." Smith began his song.

"STOP SINGING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND MY SANITY STOP SINGING!" Blank began to cry.

--------------------

**Mall**

"Okay," Pietro looked at Lance, "We have destroyed our TV, ruined Kelly's slightly messed up love life, and have no clue where are team mates or the X-men are."

"Right." Lance nodded, "And neither of us are the leaders which is sad because Freddy is a bad leader."

"Right." Pietro nodded.

"Wanna go steal a TV from Worst-Sell (C)?" Pietro asked. (A/N: Guess where I got that name.)

"Sure why not." Lance shrugged as the two bored mutants left.

--------------------

**Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"I think we should just break a hole in the door." Zack had calmed down enough to help Forge brain storm.

"We are not destroying the house, my parents would notice something was wrong." Forge stated.

"You blow holes in the door every other day, they won't notice." Zack said.

"True." Forge considered it for a minute, "How?"

"HEY! Fred! Wake up!" Zack yelled at Good Fred.

"WHAT! HUH?" Good Fred attempted to get up and fell back leaving a hole in the door.

"That works." Forge said.

"Where is your lab?" Zack asked as Good Fred dusted himself off.

"Down stairs." Forge shrugged.

"Oh goody." Zack moaned at the thought of climbing down stairs.

--------------------

**Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"Wow." Wanda gasped as Todd opened the window, "Toad, your tongue is strong."

"That's not all it can do sugar cube." Todd said after he opened the window.

"DIE!" Wanda hexed Todd into the bedroom, onto her bed.

"Okay what do we need?" Arcade ignored Todd's screams.

"My spell book." Wanda pointed to a giant book on her dresser.

"HEY TOAD HOP UP THERE AND GET THE BOOK!" Arcade yelled at Todd.

"No need to yell, yo." Todd hopped up to the book.

"HEY I CAN'T MOVE IT, YO!" Todd yelled over to the other two as they climbed down the wall.

"What happened to not yelling?" Arcade muttered.

--------------------

**Elsewhere.**

"... Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ..." Smith sang.

"God, I don't know what I did, but I AM SORRY!" Blank fell down and threw his arms up, "FORGIVE ME I DIDN'T ME IT WHATEVER IT IS!"

"... Insisting that the world keep turning our way

And our way

is on the road again..." Smith ignored his desperate friend.

--------------------

**Worst-Sell Home Entertainment Department**

"Should we get a plasma or an LCD?" Lance and Pietro were 'shopping' for the perfect TV.

"Which one is cheaper?" Pietro asked.

"This one." Lance pointed to one.

"Then we will get the other one." Pietro quickly opened the box, sped the TV and cables to the house, and came back to reseal the box.

"Okay now what do we do?" Lance looked around the store.

"Wanna switch product prices." Pietro asked before stealing two price guns.

--------------------

**Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"Who would have thought that falling down stairs wouldn't hurt?" Good Fred and Forge said as they sat at the foot of the stairs.

"Get. Off. Of. Me." Zack sadly didn't share their thoughts on falling.

"Okay, no how to get onto my table?" Forge looked up at the table.

"Climb?" Zack asked.

"I could knock it over." Good Fred offered.

"NO!" Zack and Forge screamed.

"The chemicals might explode." Forge shuddered at the thought of his slightly illegal chemicals exploding in his house.

"I'll climb up there and make the cure. Then once I am bigger I will make you guys bigger." Forge said as his arm turned into climbing gear.

"Since when have you had that?" Zack looked at it.

"Last time I shrunk I made it." Forge shrugged.

--------------------

**Group Two (Todd, Wanda, Arcade)**

"Cresco et Cresco" Wanda chanted.

"She's so beautiful when she chants evil sounding spells." Todd sighed.

"STOP TALKING OR YOU WILL RUIN THE SPELL!" Wanda snapped, "Here say it with me."

"Cresco et Cresco

Creamus Magnum

Cresco et Cresco

Cresco Tantus

Cresco et Cresco" The three chanted while reading the book, they were still on the desk and had barely been able to lift the cover of the book.

Once done chanting Wanda threw a hex bolt at each of them, herself included. After a few seconds of waiting they began to grow.

"I'M GOING TO BE BIG AGAIN!" Arcade laughed.

"YES NO MORE BEING STUCK WITH TOAD OR THE GEEK! THE FIRST THING I WILL DO IS MESS UP LANCE AND KITTY'S RELATIONSHIP SO I CAN HAVE HIM!" Wanda laughed.

"Uh, Wanda." Arcade looked around.

"Did I say that out loud." Wanda asked.

"Yes." Arcade replied as Todd cried.

"How much to make you forget." Wanda pulled her wallet out as they continued to grow.

"One hundred." Arcade held out his hand.

"Fine." Wanda handed the money to him, and hit Todd hard enough that he forgot.

--------------------

**Elsewhere.**

"... The life I love is makin' music with my friends ..." Smith was still singing the same song.

"CAN YOU SING SOMETHING ELSE PLEASE!" Blank had given up on praying.

"Only song I know." Smith shrugged before restarting.

--------------------

**Worst-Sell Expensive Toys Department.**

"It was $1000 now it is $10." Lance relabeled a unknown gadget

"Oh, CD player, wow that is a lot." Pietro quickly relabeled it, "Worst-Sell is going to lose so much money."

--------------------

**Group One (Zack, Forge, Good Fred)**

"I GOT IT!" Forge held up an bottle and threw some on him self.

"Good don't forget us." Zack screamed as Forge grew.

"I'm forgetting something." Forge scratched his chin after growing, his worked faster than Wanda's solution.

"US! YOU FORGOT US!" Good Fred screamed.

"What did I forget?" Forge looked around the lab and saw two little ant like things, "Oh yeah."

"Thank you!" Zack screamed as Forge placed the stuff on him and Good Fred.

"I'm no longer tiny." Good Fred hugged his rolls of fat.

"Those roaches are gone, I am leaving." Zack said as he turned to the stairs.

"Wait, Lance just swept them outside." Good Fred pointed out, "They are still alive."

"No, when roaches become super smart they lose their instincts which tell them to run from the light, if they don't run they get eaten." Zack said as he left.

"Goodbye scary troublemaker." Good Fred said as he also left.

"Never make another shrinking thing." Forge said as he began to solve the mysteries of the universe and cause two intergalactic wars that LAST has to stop before earth gets destroyed, but that is another story.

--------------------

**Worst-Sell**

"So you are the kids responsible for all this trouble." Whiskey a Worst-Sell security guard came up behind the mutants.

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" Pietro ran leaving Lance alone.

"Uh ..." Lance tried to think of a way to talk himself out of this, "Do I know you?" the face seemed familiar to Lance.

"You might know my brothers." Whiskey said.

"Who are your brothers?" Lance tried to keep him talking.

"Moonshine, Vodka, Tequila, Rum, Brandy, Gin, Wine, Sake, and Bourbon." Whiskey listed them.

"I know Rum." Lance said remember the guard t Flor-Wart, "He is very smart."

"Uh sure." Whiskey couldn't believe that Rum was smart.

"Yeah, he's inside Flor-Wart to help stop the aliens." Lance nodded.

"Right." Whiskey considered calling the loony patrol.

"AH! AN EARTHQUAKE!" Lance screamed.

"There's no earthquake." Whiskey looked around.

"Oh right, hold on a second." Lance focused his powers.

"AHH! EARTHQUAKE!" A scream went up from all shoppers as many used the confusion to steal the mismarked items.

"STOP DON'T STEAL THAT!" Whiskey went off to stop the thieves.

"Hehe." Lance walked out the back to his jeep.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Thanks for deserting me Pietro." Lance slammed the door as he came in.

"Hey Lance everyone but Freddy is back." Pietro waved his hands at the others.

"I'M HOME!" Good Fred shouted as he ran to the kitchen.

"Everyone's back." Pietro amended his statement.

"Hey guys." Zack walked in, "Forgot the roaches nuclear reactor." He picked up the reactor that the others hadn't seen.

"Where's Blank?" Arcade looked at Zack whose face went pale.

"I forgot about him!" Zack looked panicked, "Hey wait, now I am the boss, Cool." Zack smiled at his promotion as he walked out.

"Should we try to help Blank?" Todd asked Arcade.

"No, call the local authorities on such things." Arcade went back to his game.

"WHO WAS THAT!" Both Pietro and Lance screamed, "AND WHAT WAS THAT A NUCLEAR REACTOR!" They looked at each other, "STOP SAYING WHAT I AM SAYING!"

"Any bets?" Arcade asked Wanda as Lance and Pietro began to fight.

"Ten on Lance." Wanda replied.

"Of course on Lance." Arcade snickered.

"WHAT!" Wanda's eyes grew wide.

"Nothing." Arcade squeaked.

"Hey that reminds me." Lance stopped fighting, "Pietro you owe me, Wanda didn't kill them."

"Here ya go." Pietro handed over the money before they began to fight again.

"This is Trish speaking," Wanda turned on the News, "Mr. Lendalindi who recently escaped, was arrested when he went top his house to destroy evidence of his other crimes. I can not tell you these crimes because it has been classified in the name of national security."

"Hey guys guess what?" Good Fred came back in.

"What?" Todd asked.

"Guess." Good Fred replied.

"The sky is blue?" Todd tried.

"No."

"We still don't have light bulbs?" Lance tried.

"No." Good Fred answered, "Tomorrow is September 1st.'

"So?" Wanda looked at him.

"The Cherry Festival." Good Fred said excitedly.

"The what?" Pietro looked at him.

"The Cherry Festival, you know how small towns all have some festival for some fruit." Good Fred explained, "Well Bayville has the cherry."

"Why is that important?" Wanda asked.

"Because Freddy is the undefeated champion at the cherry pie eating contest." Lance answered, "And it is something to do after we get light bulbs."

--------------------

**Elsewhere**

"SOMEONE SAVE ME!" Blank cried not noticing Zack walk behind him.

"Oh be quiet and sing." Smith snapped as they sat around a cigarette butt.

"... The life I love is makin' music with my friends ..." They both sang.

--------------------

_End_

_Sorry it was late, be happy it is 18 pages._

_Review and send in ideas (use the contact button on my profile page), I have to fill a year and only have the first 36 chapters planned._

_Wanda's spell translated._

_Grow and Grow_

_Make us Greater_

_Grow and Grow_

_Fix our Size_

_Grow and Grow_


	8. Sept 1, Cherry Festival

_Disclaimer: "Do you know what you are doing?" ... "No." ... Tax cuts and bomb squad training do not mix._

_Sorry this is late, the band had the first performance. I was sick. And various other things (Band, homework, life surprise I have a life) Behappy it is 34 pages at 12pt font._

_Thanks for the reviews._

**September 1 - Friday - Cherry Festival**

--------------------

**Brotherhood house 4:00 AM**

"Why are we up at this un Godly hour?" Arcade moaned from his cereal.

"Because Fred is the leader." Pietro moaned he was still moving slowly.

"No he isn't. I am." Wanda was the only one awake.

"How?" Lance looked at her.

"Yesterday ... " Wanda began.

"Stop there. If you guys don't want to let me and Lance know what you did don't tell us, but don't make up a story with roaches." Pietro said.

"How do you explain the reactor?" Todd asked.

"That was Arcade's toy, I know it." Pietro defended.

--------------------

**On the Road to the Cherry Festival.**

"It is to early." Lance moaned sleepily before swerving back onto the road, again.

"Stay awake Lance." Arcade was regretting riding with Lance, even if the other choice was running with Pietro.

"Why are we leaving this early?" Lance moaned as a driver honked at him to get on the right side of the road.

"Because Freddy wants to sign up for the eating contest and Sugar cookie wants to do something." Todd shrugged before poking Lance awake again.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Wanda screamed throwing a badly aimed hex bolt and hitting the car's engine, "Sorry."

"AHHH!" The group screamed as the Jeep began to buck around.

"STOP IT PLEASE!" Lance screamed when the Jeep did a barrel roll.

"HOW!" Wanda yelled back.

"ANYWAY!" Lance screamed before amending it, "DON'T DESTROY MY CAR!"

Wanda tossed a hex bolt, "The die is caste."

"Didn't Cesar say that before killing lots of people?" Good Fred asked as the Jeep did five donuts.

"Yes." Arcade moaned as the hex bolt hit the engine again causing the car to stop, "Are we alive?"

"I don't know." Good Fred looked around.

"I can't believe no one else was on the road for that." Arcade said.

"It's to early for anyone smart to want to be up." Good Fred moaned.

"I'm always up this early ki-" Wanda began.

"By the first sound of that word I don't want you to finish your thought." Lance groaned before climbing out to check the damage.

"I always want you to finish your thoughts snookums." Todd said.

"DIE DIE DIE!" Wanda began hexing Todd.

"Deja Vu." Arcade moaned.

"Hey guys." Pietro said running up to them, "What's taking you so long?"

"MY CAR IS DENTED!" Lance yelled in the back ground.

"What is surprising is that you can still tell that it is a car and that we are alive." Arcade moaned as Wanda's hexes got dangerously close to the Jeep.

"Ah, I see." Pietro nodded as he watched Wanda chase Todd for a minute, "Goodbye." He ran off to the festival.

"Okay I'm good." Wanda said as she smiled while Todd could be heard screaming in the background.

"Is Toad going to need and help?" Good Fred moaned while listening to his screams.

"Yes." Wanda shrugged before sitting in the Jeep again.

"MY JEEP!" Lance was still screaming.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"So bored." Pietro moaned as he looked around the empty town square, "No one has even set up shop."

"You better not mess up my speech again." Kelly said as he walked up to the mutant, "I know you dirty mutants messed up my last one."

"You were the guy who said it, and got the mob mad at you." Pietro snickered before using his super speed to give Kelly a wedgie undetected.

"OW! WHO DID THAT?" Kelly readjusted himself.

"That guy over there." Pietro pointed to Kelly's assistant, a hippie, who was carrying a random piece of sound equipment.

"YOU! YOU'RE FIRED NOW!" Kelly screamed.

"Sure man. I'm like the only one who is still working for you. So you can put your own sound stuff up, I'm going to go watch the highschool bands, the color guard is so cool when you're tripping, with the colors, and flags, and spinning." The Hippie walked away pulling out a questionable looking drug. (A/N: 1)

Kelly blinked a few times while he and Pietro stood in shock, "Was he my last employee?" Pietro nodded, "NOW I HAVE SET THIS SOUND STUFF UP MY SELF!"

"Good luck with that." Pietro said before speeding off.

"How hard can this be?" Kelly looked at a speaker, "Look this wire goes here." Kelly struggled with a wire, "GO IN THERE PLEASE. Maybe if I push harder?" BANG

--------------------

**Roadside.**

Lance had finally calmed down enough to drive off, sadly his gas gage was broken.

"Are you saying we are stuck here?" Wanda glared at him.

"Um..." Lance looked for any hope.

"No we are not." Good Fred said.

"We aren't?" Lance looked up, maybe he wouldn't be killed by Wanda.

"No, Lance just needs to walk to the nearest gas station." Good Fred pointed to a say proudly proclaim, 'Gas 5 miles'

"Why me?" Lance asked.

"You are the one who let the car run out." Arcade pointed out.

"Fine." Lance stalked off as the others settled in for the time being.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"So bored." Pietro moaned again, "No one has set up yet, maybe I should check on them again?" Pietro contemplated that for awhile, "No, I'll just entertain myself."

Pietro zoomed around the square searching for anything to do, "Man this town is boring, everyone is asleep or at school."

--------------------

**Somewhere else.**

"Where am I?" Lance asked looking at a sign which said 'Gas station 20 miles.' "Didn't I just passed a sign saying 1 mile?"

"Yes." A large man was sitting on the side of the road.

"Who are you?" Lance asked.

"Piotr." The man shrugged.

"Magneto's man?" Lance asked.

"Not any more, he stopped paying us. Sadly I have no money to buy gas now even if I could find a gas station." The man shrugged again.

"Can you stop shrugging." Lance asked.

"Sure." Piotr shrugged again.

"I hate you." Lance began to walk away, but Piotr followed.

"Why are you following me?" Lance asked after a few minutes.

"I have been here for a week." Piotr stated without a shrug.

--------------------

**At the car.**

"So you think Lance missed the side road?" Arcade asked after they had spent several minutes trying to figure out what Good Fred had written in the dirt for hangman.

"Of course, he always gets lost on these back roads, he should realize his mistake when the sign jumps from 1 to 20 miles up ahead." Wanda replied while playing solitaire with a deck of cards that was missing an ace.

"Hope he hurries up, its getting late." Arcade finally realized that Good Fred had misspelled it.

"It's not even 10." Wanda pointed out hexing the cards into dust.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

Pietro had finally found something to do, attempt to win a rigged, cherry themed, carny, game. Sadly or happily, depending on whether or not you like Pietro, he was losing.

"GO INTO THE HOLE!" Pietro throw a ball with all his might, it didn't go into the hole.

"Hey kid are you ever going to pay for all these games?" The 'game master' asked.

"Sure how much do I own?" Pietro pulled out his wallet.

"$2000." The man held out his hand.

"WHAT IT IS ONLY 25 CENTS A SHOT!" Pietro screamed.

"That was 8000 shots ago." The man replied.

"Oh, bye." Pietro ran off at his 'walking pace' or the speed of sound.

"COME BACK HERE AND PAY YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN!" The carny ran after Pietro, which didn't really make a difference for Pietro.

--------------------

**Elsewhere.**

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, every..." Lance sang as the two mutants walked farther from civilization.

"STOP IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND CATS!" Piotr screamed.

"I thought you were the one that never freaked out?" Lance asked shocked at the scream.

"I HAVE NEVER HAD TO SPEND 10 MINUTES LOST WITH YOU!" Piotr began to shake with anger.

"Calm down, no need to do something we would regret." Lance backed away from the look Piotr was giving him.

"No we wouldn't." Piotr voice grew calm again, causing Lance to relax. Piotr went into metal form, causing Lance to squeak in fear.

"RUN!" Lance screamed while taking the same advice.

"COME AND FIGHT LIKE THE MAN YOU AREN'T" Piotr screamed as he followed.

--------------------

**Jeep.**

"You hear something?" Todd asked from where he had a horse fly cornered.

"No." Wanda shrugged while digging through Lance's male products in the glove compartment, "Man Lance has some weird fetishes."

"I don't want to know." Arcade walked away from Wanda and the glove compartment.

"Is this cherry flavored?" Wanda asked.

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Arcade screamed while holding his ears.

"No it's strawberry." Todd pointed to the words.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP!" Arcade screamed again.

"Why it's only a lollipop." Wanda asked.

"What?" Arcade looked up from where he had tried to ignore them by counting rocks.

"Lollipop, why what did you think Lance would have in here, Kitty isn't giving him anything." Wanda stated.

"Oh right, they are fighting over that stuffed animal thing." Arcade remembered.

--------------------

**Middle of the forest in a clearing.**

"I lost him." Lance panted, "And the road."

"Squeaky squeak squeakid?" A squirrel asked.

"I lost this metal man trying to kill me." Lance replied.

"Squeakid?" The squirrel cocked its head to the side.

"I don't know why he wanted to kill me," Lance shrugged, "I think I was annoying him."

"Squeak." The squirrel stated.

"You said it." Lance agreed.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Piotr burst into the clearing.

"RUN MY SQUIRRELY FRIEND!" Lance and the squirrel ran.

"Squirrel?" Piotr paused and reverted to human form, "I can't kill a crazy man, that's why I stop chasing Magneto."

"Chirp?" A bird asked.

"Yes." Piotr replied, "I think the X-men are saner, maybe I should go and join them. That Kitty girl is cute, to bad I have to wait till she is 18."

"Chirpy?" The bird asked.

"I am only the nice shy guy around other humans." Piotr responded.

"Chirpy chirp chirp." The bird stated.

"Yup, when talking to animals you speak your inner mind, and I am a guy." Piotr agreed before walking away.

--------------------

**Farther in the forest.**

"SAVE ME JESUS! SAVE ME JEWISH GOD! SAVE ME ALLAH! SAVE ME TOM CRUISE!" Lance screamed as he ran in circles around a tree with the squirrel watching.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"Where are they?" Pietro asked himself from behind a trashcan, "And why is that carny so determined to get money?"

"THERE YOU ARE! PAY UP YOU MUTIE FREAK!" The carny burst around the corner behind Pietro.

"HA!" Pietro laughed as he pants-ed the carny to revel a banana hammock, "That is just wrong." Pietro ran off knowing he would forever have nightmares.

--------------------

**Another Part of the Cherry Festival.**

"Maybe I should check on those guys again," Pietro pondered, "If Lance is driving it should only take a couple of minutes to get here, maybe an hour if he follows the speed limit."

--------------------

**Jeep.**

"Okay I think we can guarantee that Lance is lost." Arcade said from where he was cutting up a map into paper footballs.

"Yup," Todd replied, "WOOT I SCORED 7 POINTS WHO IS THE BEST AT PAPER FOOTBALL!" Todd began a victory dance.

"If we starve out here, we eat him first." Good Fred stated while watching the dance that looked like it was inspired by Elvis doing the funky chicken to the tune of the electric slide. It's best not to think about it to hard.

"Agreed." The others agreed (Pun intended).

--------------------

**Middle of the forest.**

The squirrel had left Lance to run in circles. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lance screamed on, "Wait he isn't following me."

"I LIVE!" Lance did Todd's victory dance, "Now what, I'm still lost." Lance began to walk in a random direction.

--------------------

**Jeep.**

"Hey guy." Pietro ran up to the brotherhood members.

"Hey." They responded eyeing Todd and dreaming of methods to cook him.

"Did Lance get lost again?" Pietro asked noticing that Lance still wasn't there.

"We figured." Wanda said looking through Lance's stash that had been hidden under the seat.

"Oh, is that Lance's stash?" Pietro speed over to Wanda.

"Buzz off! You don't look through this with family!" Wanda pulled it away.

"Ah man." Pietro speed to the other side of the car.

"Hey wanna get us some gas?" Todd asked moving away from Good Fred's growling stomach.

"Why me?" Pietro asked.

"Because if you don't then I will hex you and we will eat you first." Wanda stated without moving her eyes.

"YAY I'M NOT FIRST!" Todd cheered.

"Why do I hang out with you guys?" Arcade asked.

"Because you got your parents arrested then it back fired when your butler/guardian kicked you out?" Good Fred said as he stopped eyeing Todd and eyed Pietro.

"Oh that's why." Arcade nodded as he watched to cloud of dust that showed which way Pietro went.

--------------------

**Gas station.**

"Hey fill this up." Pietro demanded of the owner.

"Self serve." The owner flipped a page in his non child appropriate magazine.

"Hey I am a customer. Now sell me gas!" Pietro screamed.

"I will sell you gas but you have to fill it yourself." The owner looked outside, "Where's your car?"

"I walked here." Pietro shrugged.

"Oh your an idiot that ran out of gas while driving."

"No my friend is the idiot." Pietro said.

"Really? Then why are you the one getting gas?" The man asked.

"He got lost somehow." Pietro shrugged, "Now give me gas."

"Self service." The man went back to his magazine.

"Fine." Pietro speed off, filled a liberated gas can, and then proceeded to enact revenge on the man. Mainly keying his car. "Don't obey me, eh? Take this and this!" Pietro carved rude words into the bad paint job.

--------------------

**Jeep.**

"What is taking Pietro?" Todd asked.

"Probably trying to get the owner to fill it up for him." Wanda shrugged, she had moved on to another stash that was in the trunk.

"Again?" Good Fred asked, "That means he has to key the car."

"The only thing he does slow." Todd nodded.

"Hey guys." Pietro finally speed up with a gas can.

"'bout time. I've been hungry." Good Fred said.

"Fill 'er up." Wanda said sliding into the driver's seat.

"Uh, Sugar cookie, maybe someone else should drive." Todd said, his fear of death out weighing love for once.

"Why I have a license." Wanda pointed out.

"Only 'cause you threatened the instructor." Pietro muttered under his breath.

"What." Wanda asked in a dangerous voice.

"Nothing." Pietro squeaked.

"good, now get in." Wanda revved the engine.

"I thought Lance took his keys with him?" Arcade muttered.

"He did." Wanda held up a book, 'How to Hot-wire a Car.'

"You are dead." Good Fred said without an ounce of fear.

"What about you." Arcade asked, "Won't you die?"

"Impenetrable skin." Good Fred stated.

"See you in the after life." Pietro moaned hugging Todd.

"Surely she isn't that bad?" Arcade asked, "Right?"

The others paused and looked at him "To be young and naive." Pietro finally scoffed.

"Come on, she can't be thAHHHHHHH!" Arcade screamed as Wanda took off down the road."

"FUN FUN FUN!" Wanda squealed, "MOVE OUT OF MY WAY JERK!" Wanda threw a hex bolt at a car that was going ten above the speed limit, aka to slow.

"ARAGH!" The old lady driving swerved off the road and into a ditch, taking out a speeding camera.

--------------------

**Forest (With Lance)**

"I wonder what time it is?" Lance wondered aloud when his stomach growled, "Why don't I wear a watch?"

--------------------

**Jeep/Burrito Bell**

"Were stopping to eat." Wanda stated as she pulled into a parking spot at 66 mph and stopped on a dime, throwing everyone but her forward.

"I hate this place." Good Fred groaned.

"WHAT?" Todd was shocked.

"I hate Burrito Bell. Their food is bad." Good Fred stated.

"I thought you liked Mexican food." Pietro said as he caught his breath from the ride.

"I do."

"Then why don't like this place?" Arcade asked while he slumped against the outside of the jeep.

"This isn't Mexican food, it is Americanized Mexican food."

"Eh?"

"It is a northerner's attempt at Mexican food." Good Fred repeated.

"What is wrong with that?" Todd asked.

"Nothing, except that no one above Virgina can make good Mexican food." Good Fred said sadly as he got out of the Jeep relieving the suspension.

"Oh right your from that ranch place down south." Wanda remembered.

"Yup, every Friday we went over to our friends who had some trouble with immigration and we would eat and drink Tequila. Then-" Good Fred began.

"Stop right there." Pietro held up his hand, "If this is like the last story you told involving your family drunk then I don't want to hear it."

"What story." Arcade asked.

"The one with the Texas Ranger, half the Navy, the bull, a cat, five eggs, and two burning buildings." Todd groaned remembering his nightmares after hearing the story.

"Actually I was think of the other story." Pietro stated.

"Which one?" Todd asked, "I only remember that one."

"The one with the marines, the pile of gravel, the secret service, and the sewers." Pietro reminded Todd.

"His family wasn't the ones drunk in that though." Todd pointed out.

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Arcade screamed not even wanting to imagine what could have happened.

"Knowing is half the battle, unless you are with the Brotherhood." Pietro laughed.

"Then it is torture." Todd finished.

--------------------

**Forest (With Piotr)**

"Great chasing that insane boy made me lose the road." Piotr slumped against a tree.

"Admit it you are lost." He hear kitty's voice come from behind the trees.

"I AM NOT!" That was that Cyclops fellow's voice.

"Scott," That's his name Scott, "We are lost." the telepath's voice came next.

"I AM NOT!" Piotr walked out of the forest onto a road to see him yell.

"I can read your mind." The telepath pointed out.

"Hey guys, Acolyte right there." The fuzzy teleporter wearing his holowatch pointed what looked like two fingers at him.

"X-MEN DELTA PATTERN!" Scott yelled jumping up leaving confused x-men behind.

"Which one was that again?" Kitty asked.

"I think that is the one where I teleport Jean to safety and then we all risk our lives to save her." Kurt scratched his head.

"No that was Alpha pattern." Jean sighed embarrassed by her boyfriend's freakish over protectiveness.

"Right, Delta was the one where I teleport Kitty and have her phase the bad guy into the ground." Kurt tried to guess again.

"No that was Beta." Kitty pointed out.

"The one with Wolverine?" Kurt asked.

"I thought that was Omega?" Jean replied with her own question.

"Storm?" Kurt tried again.

"Right that's the one, we trick him into going metal and then Storm fries him. Repeatedly." Kitty replied.

"Storm's not here." Jean pointed out as Piotr picked Scott up and held him at arm's length away.

"Hello." Piotr finally spoke.

"Hey." The three still in the car replied.

"What is with your team leader?" Piotr asked.

"Ever since Magneto disappeared he has had some pent up frustration from not being able to fight anything but simulations." Jean shrugged.

"And Scott won't let Jean help him release it." Kurt snickered.

"What should I do with him." Piotr held a struggling Scott up to Jean.

"Knock him out and throw him in back." She replied.

"WHAT!" Scott screamed before being silenced.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Piotr finally realized he was talking to a bunch of teenagers during school hours.

"Me and Scott graduated." Jean said.

"Me and Kurt are skipping." Kitty said.

"Why are you here?" Kurt asked Piotr.

"I got lost chasing Magneto, then tried to chase Lance and got lost again." Piotr shrugged.

"Why were you chasing Lance?" Jean asked.

"WHO CARES HE IS A JERK ND HAD IT COMING!" Kitty yelled.

"What did he do to you?" Piotr asked.

"HE TRIED TO KILL LOCKHEED!" Kitty began to rant.

"Who is Lockheed?" Piotr asked Kurt while Kitty ranted.

"A stuffed dragon." Kurt replied.

"So they broke up?" Piotr asked.

"Yes."

"Good." Piotr got a wicked gleam in his eye before stalking over to 'comfort' Kitty.

"This will end badly." Jean said from where she massaged Scott's head.

"Ya, why isn't he fighting us?" Kurt asked.

"I remember the Professor saying something about Wanda's memories, and money problems." Jean replied.

"Oh right, that pay check mix up." Kurt nodded.

The couple walked back to the car, "Guess what." Kitty squealed.

"What." Jean groaned.

"Piotr is like staying with us." Kitty squealed again.

"Scott is not going to be happy." Kurt stated, "Can you drive us to the Cherry Festival?"

"Yes." Piotr replied as he got into Scott's car's driver's seat.

"Then you can like win me a toy at the festival." Kitty giggled.

"I would be honored to win you a knight to go with your dragon." Piotr said.

"Uh oh." Kurt and Jean moaned as one.

"WHAT? YOU MURDER! YOU ARE JUST LIKE LANCE TRYING TO KILL LOCKHEED!" Kitty screamed.

"Who saw that coming?" Kurt groaned.

--------------------

**Burrito Bell.**

"Why can't he order like a normal person." Wanda groaned around the burrito in her mouth while watching Good Fred teach the cooks how to make real Mexican food.

"At least this way we don't have to pay bail." Pietro pointed out.

"If the Gas station owner finds you we will." Todd pointed out.

"THEY WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Pietro jumped onto a desk as Good Fred did something that made flames shot up in the background.

"You said that before being arrested the last time." Wanda pointed out.

"Yes but I was innocent that time." Pietro pointed out as if that made up for him running from the cops and still being caught.

"You innocent? I laugh." Wanda laughed.

"I don't know considering that Sarah girl." Todd mused as Pietro whimpered from the name.

"True. That girl did show that he has bad luck with women." Wanda agreed.

"What did Sarah do to him." Arcade pointed at Pietro who had crawled under a table.

"Something with pepper spray." Todd shrugged, "Sugar cookie would never use pepper spray on me."

"Really?" Wanda asked with a dangerous tone that would send the hardest criminal running for his mom and a restraining order.

"Really." Todd replied without an ounce of fear.

"You are right." Wanda said before using her powers to douse Todd with pepper that was sitting at the table, "I DON'T NEED PEPPER SPRAY!"

"ACHOO!" Todd began to sneeze up slime onto the food.

"Gross." Arcade pushed his improved taco away from him.

"We might want to leave." Good Fred walked up to them as the employees heroically fought a rapidly spreading fire in the background, "They might want to clean their grill more often."

"ACHOO!" Todd sneezed up some slime causing the only fire extinguisher to become useless.

"Amazing how we cause destruction no matter were we go." Arcade mumbled, "Who gets to carry Pietro?"

"I'll do it." Good Fred grabbed the cowardly mutant.

--------------------

**Forest/Cherry Festival.**

"Do I hear people?" Lance had somehow managed to gain the appearance of a shipwrecked sailor in only a few hours. Walking out of the forest Lance saw the Cherry Festival.

"CIVILIZATION!" Lance fell to his knees and raised his arms to the sky, "THANK YOU!" He paused, "What was that?" ... "Oh."

"Mommy is he crazy?" A little boy who's mom had skip school pointed at Lance.

"Yes." The mom pushed the boy away.

"Why is it I am praying when I talk to you, but if you talk to me I am crazy?" Lance asked ... "I thought you were omnipotent." ... "Wait you aren't God?" ... "A figment of my imagination? Then why do I pray to you?" ... "Are other Christians crazy?" ... "Only some? Don't they all pray to you?" ... "What do you mean they pray to God, YOU ARE GOD!" ... "YOU LIED TO ME? WAHH!" Lance began to cry realizing that his imaginary friend of 13 some odd years wasn't God, "Wait does God exist?" ... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T TELL ME!" ... "Oh I guess that make sense on some level."

"Talking to yourself is the ninth sign of insanity." A old man walked by talking to himself.

"I am not talking to myself." Lance said calmly, "I am talking to Bob, he is God." ... "He claims he isn't god."

"Hallucinations are the sixteenth sign." The man said to himself.

--------------------

**Jeep, driving down the highway.**

"Anyone know how to get there." Wanda asked calmly as she flipped of a church van full of young kids.

"No." Todd said as he caught the bottle the driver had tried to throw through the jeep's window.

"I think it is the next exit." Pietro pointed to a rapidly approaching exit on the far left.

"Okay." Wanda said as she cut off 5 cars, two being cops, to get to the exit.

"AROOO!" Both cops gave chase cutting off the other three cars, on of which was a large man in a red truck that looked to have been in a crash derby.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"If I find Pietro maybe I can get him to get gas for the others." Lance wondered aloud, "But then Wanda would have to drive them here and we don't need more tickets and I don't want to have to bang out more dents."

"Something the matter?" The same carny that was chasing Pietro asked Lance.

"Yay my friends are stuck on the highway." Lance shrugged.

"So buy some gas and hitch there." The carny offered.

"That would take to long. Some of them might be guilty of murder by then." Lance replied worried that the cops investigating Todd's murder might find his stash(s).

"Oh. Wanna play a quick game." The man asked.

"Wouldn't that take longer?" Lance asked failing to see the carny's logic.

"So? I bet your friends forced you to get gas." The carny replied with perfect logic.

"Okay, I guess I have time if I find Pietro, he can run the gas back." Lance shrugged and began to play the rigged game.

"Is Pietro a mutant who runs fast." The carny asked remember the kid who owed him a lot of money.

"Yes." Lance replied losing a game.

"He owes me, $2000. Pay up." The carny demanded.

"WHAT! It is only 25 cents a game."Lance pointed out.

"He played 8000 games." The carny stated, "now pay up or I'll have to take the money with force."

"Is that legal?" Lance asked eyeing the little man, "And could you."

"I could take you, and no jury would convict a human on mutie crime." The carny drew himself up to his full 4 foot 9 inches.

"True the courts are full of mutant haters." Lance nodded before slugging the carny and walking away from the unconscious body.

--------------------

**Back roads.**

"WEEEEE!" Wanda squealed in delight.

"AHRAGHHH!" The rest cried in fear, even Good Fred the invulnerable one.

"AROOO!" The cops chased.

"F$& YOU &()ED F$&ING MOTHER F$&ERS WHO F$&ED MY F$&ING MOTHER AND F$&ED MY &() F$&ING TRUCK!" The redneck chased the cops and Wanda.

"This is Trish speaking from the weather 'copter." The overly used reporter spoke into a microphone, "We appear to have a bunch of high schoolers who skipped school being chased be two police officers. Those same officers appear to be chased by a beat up red truck, driven by a fat man who likes to point with his middle finger."

"DRIVE WANDA DRIVE! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO SKINNY GUYS LIKE ME IN PRISON!" Both Arcade and Todd screamed.

"While I don't care about Frog boy, I will drive for you Arcade." Wanda winked.

"I thought you liked Lance." Arcade whispered to Wanda.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO HAND YOU OVER!" Wanda screamed while hexing a tree that had jumped into the middle of the road.

"NO! DRIVE FOR YOUR LIFE AND MY MANHOOD!" Arcade screamed while pushing the gas pedal from the passenger seat.

"I AM GOING TO THROW UP!" Pietro moaned.

"I THOUGHT YOU RAN FAST!" Good Fred groaned while doing what Pietro threatened.

"NOT THIS FAST!" Pietro joined Good Fred in emptying his stomach on the road.

"AHHH!" One cop sadly or happily, depending on who you are rooting for, slide on the newly spilled stomach acid and hit a tree at nearly 130 mph.

"I AM SURPRISED THIS JEEP HASN'T FLIPPED WITH THESE TURNS!" Todd held onto the 'oh crap' bar. The Jeep completed two barrel rolls right after he said that but somehow managed to drive off faster than before. "Never mind."

The cop car follow the Jeep into the turn which caused the barrel rolls, but sadly for the driver he only did one and a half. The red truck then ran into him.

"This is Trish speaking." The reporter said to the mic, "Both squad cars are out and all back up units are at the Cherry festival, so these hooligans will get off scotch free, hopefully their parents saw this and will punish them."

"In other news there were twenty nine different car crashes with highs schoolers trying to skip fourth period at the local high school." Trish finished.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"Why am I here?" Lance asked one of those fortune teller machines.

'Because you are crazy.' The slip of paper said.

"Wow, it's good." Lance shook his head in amazement.

--------------------

**Highway again.**

"Is this the afterlife?" Pietro asked, when he saw he Wanda he added, "Must be hell."

"Why?" Todd asked, "Wanda's here, it is heaven."

"DIE!" Wanda tossed a hex bolt at Todd.

"Ah." Todd moaned in happiness, "The pains of love."

"I can never win." Wanda moaned in pain.

"Obviously." Pietro said.

"Shut up. I am not happy about that hell remark." Wanda snapped.

"So you are made about being heaven or hell?" Pietro asked, "Make up your mind woman."

"YOU COULD HAVE JUST NOT SAID ANYTHING!" Wanda snapped and threw a hex bolt at Pietro. She missed.

"NOT AGAIN!" Arcade groaned loudly when the jeep began to buck like a mechanical bull.

"WANDA NO MORE HEX BOLTS IN THE CAR!" Good Fred yelled before he was thrown out.

"HEY I AM IN CHARGE I SAY WHAT GOES!" Wanda snapped as Todd failed his flying lessons.

"I AM STARTING TO REGRET GETTING RID OF MY PARENTS!" Arcade screamed when Pietro left the seat.

"I would have thought the shrinking would have done that." Wanda stated strangely calm, "At least we were smart enough to wear our seat belts."

"So that is what those sign mean about buckling up." Arcade responded equally calm, "I always thought it had to do with crashes not hex bolts."

--------------------

**Roadside with Piotr.**

"YOU DRAGON MURDERING JERK!" Kitty was still yelling at Piotr while the other three, Scott had woken up, watched.

"Why did he mention knights?" Kurt groaned.

"I don't know." Jean side rubbing Scott's head, "Does it hurt here?"

"OW!" Scott yelled.

"I take that as a yes." Jean said fussing over Scott.

"Can you two keep your hands off each other until you get to the port-a-john's at the festival?" Kurt groaned.

"Fine." Jean said as Scott sputtered turning as red as his glasses.

"WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU LATELY JEAN!" Scott yelled.

"I don't know I think those classes in college have loosened my up some." Jean shrugged, "I was able to start over not being Miss Perfect."

"You know I preferred Miss Perfect." Kurt stated.

"Weren't you the one who always told me to lighten up?" Jean asked.

"NOT ABOUT THAT! While I am a jokester I am still a catholic." Kurt crossed his arms.

--------------------

**Jeep (rolling down the highway do to probability odds that not even Gambit would bet on.)**

"This isn't so bad." Arcade admitted as the two watched the car steer its way around others.

"Nope, to bad Lance isn't here." Wanda sighed. Arcade just shook his head.

--------------------

**Side of the road (Brotherhood in a heap)**

"Ow." Good Fred moaned.

"What are you complaining about, yo? You got invulnerable skin, yo." Todd groaned.

"Shut up and hand me the painkillers." Pietro mumbled.

"There are in the jeep." Todd groaned.

"Where's the jeep?" Pietro asked.

"It drove off." Todd replied.

"SHE LEFT US!" Pietro became angry.

"It left under its own power." Good Fred said, "The hex bolt helped."

"I guess once the world stops spinning I can catch up with it." Pietro mussed.

"Yo, what about us?" Todd asked, "Sugar cookie would be mad if you left us."

"She would thank me." Pietro muttered.

"What?" Todd asked, "Couldn't hear you over that annoying cell phone ringing."

"What ringing?" Good Fred asked

"That ringing can't you hear it?" Todd asked.

"Did you land on your head again?" Pietro asked as the world turned a greenish color.

"I don't remember." Todd scratched his head, "Why am I in the dirt?"

"Yes he did." Good Fred sighed.

"Not again." Pietro moaned.

"Who are you guys?" Todd asked.

"I am God." Pietro quickly said.

"Hi God, sorry about that thing I did in fourth grade." Todd said.

"Okay he remembers fourth grade but not us?" Good Fred asked.

"Yes, who are you?" Todd asked Good Fred.

"Fred Dukes, you call me Freddy." Good Fred said not feeling like taking advantage.

"Really, are you sure your not just Santa with a saved beard?" Todd asked.

"Must not kill for fat joke. He has amnesia, doesn't know what he is saying. One eight three two five nine..." Good Fred began to count to ten.

"I know what I am saying, you are fat." Todd said.

"DIE YOU FROG MAN! I HAVE THIS FROG LEG RECIPE!" Good Fred lunged at Todd but his dizziness caused him to land on Pietro.

"Ow." Pietro moaned before passing out.

"Oops." Good Fred sighed.

"Don't worry God is immortal." Todd nodded, "he is probably just sleeping, after answering all those prayers."

"We'll go with that." Good Fred managed to stand up and pick up Pietro, "Let's walk."

Todd tried to walk, "WOAH!" And Promptly fell, "Hey I can't get my legs to move right."

"Try hopping." Good Fred sighed.

"Hey that works." Todd hopped a few times.

"Oh joy." Good Fred groaned remember the problems he had with the cops last time Todd had amnesia.

"What's my name?" Todd asked.

"Toad." Good Fred said.

"I am named after an amphibian?" Todd asked.

"No that is your nickname, your real name is Todd." Good Fred sighed as he walked in the general direction of the Cherry Festival.

"Cool yo. I got a nick name." Todd hopped after Good Fred, "Why am I call Toad, yo?"

"You hop." Good Fred sighed hoping he wouldn't have to explain mutants again.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival Parking Lot.**

"Amazing. Did you know you could do that?" Arcade asked.

"I control probabilities." Wanda shrugged.

"Yeah but that?" Arcade asked.

"Anything is possible." Wanda replied

"MY JEEP!" Lance saw the two mutants, "IT IS DENTED!"

"It was already dented." Wanda shrugged and handed Lance a small set of alligator clips, "You'll need these to turn the car on."

"YOU HOT-WIRED IT!" Lance screamed, "AND DROVE IT HERE!"

"She didn't drive it." Arcade defended her.

"Thank you." Wanda smiled.

"She hexed it here." Arcade undid any help he gave Wanda.

"WHAT!" Lance fell to the ground a began to twitch. After a few minutes he got up and asked, "Where are the others?"

"No clue." Both shrugged.

"I hope Todd gets mauled by a bear." Wanda smiled with happy thoughts.

"I hope Pietro does." Lance muttered.

"Why?" Arcade looked at the two.

"Do you need to ask me?" Wanda glared.

"I was asking Lance." Arcade said.

"Oh." Wanda said.

"He has been driving me crazy with his leadership kicks." Lance answered Arcade.

"For a group that considers each other family there is lots of fighting." Arcade said.

"This coming from the kid that got his parents thrown in prison for crimes they didn't commit?" Lance and Wanda asked.

"Good point, my family and yours are dysfunctional." Arcade nodded, "Especially Wanda's."

"WHAT?" Wanda snapped and then paused, "Actually that is pretty accurate, with Pietro, magneto and who knows what for a mom."

--------------------

**In a car.**

"Thanks for giving us a lift." Todd said to a truck driver that the two conscious and one unconscious mutants had managed to hitch a ride with.

"No problem cutie." The man winked.

"Uh Freddy?" Todd scooted farther from the driver.

"I like my men big." The man looked at Good Fred.

"STOP THE TRUCK NOW!" Good Fred screamed.

"Okay." The man stopped, "Wanna sit in the sleeper cab?"

"NO!" Good Fred ripped the door off and pulled Pietro and Todd out.

"COME BACK!" The man screamed, "Five months of non stop driving without a wife nearby makes a man lonely!"

"God help me." Todd groaned looking at Pietro.

"Pietro isn't God." Good Fred sighed while flagging down another truck, with a female driver.

"I don't believe you." Todd stated.

"God help me." Good Fred moaned.

"How can he help you, you are helping him?" Todd asked.

"Shut up and get in." Good Fred stated once the truck had stopped and the women had waved them in.

--------------------

**Side of the Road (Piotr and 3 X-men)**

"Are you done?" Kurt asked as the two fighters walked up to the car.

"Yes, but I am not talking to Peter." Kitty huffed.

"It is pronounced Piotr." Piotr said.

"That is what I said, Peter." Kitty said.

"No you said 'Peter' not 'Piotr.'" Piotr said.

"What is the difference?" Kitty asked.

"As far as I can tell just the spelling, but it gets you talking to me." Piotr said.

"I HATE YOU DECEIVING BASTARD!" Kitty screamed and began to hit Piotr's (now metal) arm and was putting dents in it.

"Uh Petey, how do you plan to get the dents out?" Jean looked at the dents.

"Same way Mr. Logan straightened his claws after cutting his birthday cake that Kitty made him." Piotr stated.

"When did he tell you about that." Kurt asked.

"During that one fight after he got rid of the Hair Cat (Sabertooth)." Piotr shrugged.

"So how did he straighten them?" Jean asked.

"WHY WASN'T HE FIGHTING YOU!" Scott asked at the same time, while Kitty was still hitting Piotr.

"He was tired and so was I." Piotr answered Scott.

"Hello. How?" Jean wanted to solve the big mystery of the "crooked claw" (A/N 2).

"AND WHAT IS WORSE IS THAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SENSITIVE! YOU INSULTED MY COOKING!" Kitty started denting the other arm.

"You hit hard." Piotr stated.

"YOU ARE STILL INSENSITIVE!" Kitty screamed.

"When you gave Lance those cookies and he shared I lost all sensitivity for your cooking." Piotr stated.

"I thought the Brotherhood and Acolytes didn't really work together that much." Kurt said.

"No, but it was those twins birthday and Kitty had just made up with Lance so he brought them to the party to share." Piotr shrugged.

"Oh right." Jean nodded, "He got sued for destroying the city sewer system last time by dumping them, he had find another way to dispose of them."

"Trash?" Scott asked.

"City council ordered him to stop after the garbage man had to go to therapy for a whole year." Kurt pointed out.

"Right, we got our own local Friends of humanity charter after that." Scott remembered.

"Okay that is not my cookies fault." Kitty crossed her arms.

"They recruited by claiming they were a plot to over throw our city by destroying the public services." Jean pointed out.

"To be fair to Kitty that is a bad jump of logic." Piotr stated still trying to woe Kitty.

"Thank you." Kitty smiled.

"Your welcome." Piotr smiled.

"I am still going to kill you for threatening Lockheed though." Kitty said with just a hint of her inner demon in her voice.

"HAVE YOU REALIZED THAT DRAGONS AREN'T REAL AND IT IS STUFFED PLUSH!" Piotr yelled to Kitty.

"Wha-wha-what?" Kitty's eyes began to fill with tears.

"Please don't cry." Piotr placed a hand on Kitty's shoulder.

"WAAA!" Kitty cried.

"Save me." Scott, Jean, and Kurt groaned hitting their heads on the side of the car.

"Darn I'll have to buff that out." Scott groaned hitting his head again, "I need to stop hitting my head on my car, it dents to easily."

"Maybe you should get the Professor to get you a adamantium body." Kurt suggested.

"I like his body." Jean spoke up.

"He meant car body." Scott stated.

"Oh right I knew that. I am telepathic of course I knew that." Jean nodded.

"No wonder she dated Duncan." Kurt muttered.

"I know." Scott sighed.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"Are we just going to sit here or are we going to go get the others." Arcade asked breaking the silence.

"Why?" Wanda asked in return.

"Because it is boring to sit here." Arcade said.

"We could actually go do something at the festival like we originally planned." Lance shrugged.

"Sure why not." Wanda stood up from the driver's seat where she had been sitting, not letting Lance sit in it.

"Finally we are doing something," Arcade got up from his seat, "I wonder if they have any games here?"

"I wouldn't mention Pietro if you play the games." Lance said.

"Why?" Wanda asked.

"The carnies are crazy." Lance shrugged.

"How so?" Wanda glared slightly mad at the mention of the word crazy.

"Well he let Pietro play on a tab, up to $2000." Lance stated, "And one wears a banana hammock."

"How do you know this?" Wanda took a step back.

"I pantsed him." Lance shrugged.

"What is it with guys and pantsing other guys?" Wanda asked Arcade.

"It is a contest of skills, can you defend your dignity when least expected, can you ..." Arcade began.

"STOP! That is enough." Wanda held up a hand, "If it involves a contest it is bad."

"Not always." Lance attempted to defend guys everywhere.

"Chicken?" Wanda crossed her arms naming a game.

"Only if played with trains." Lance defended.

"Cup checks?" Wanda asked.

"That isn't a contest." Lance defended.

"It is just like pantsing people." Wanda defended her offensive reply to Lance's defense to her original offense.

"True ..." Lance tried to come up with something.

--------------------

**Highway, Truck.**

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves." The driver, Good Fred, and Todd sang to a now awake Pietro.

"STOP IT PLEASE!" Pietro covered his ears.

Todd pulled Pietro's arms down, "Sorry God you can't cover your ears you might not hear a prayer."

"I AM NOT GOD!" Pietro screamed.

"You said you were." Todd said.

"I WAS LYING!" Pietro contemplated jumping out the open window until the driver raised the windows.

"Oh, who is God." Todd asked.

"You can't see God." Good Fred tried to straighten Todd out.

"Sure you can." The women trucker stated.

"Really?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, he is sitting on my dash board." She pointed swerving dangerously.

"That's a fly." Pietro pointed out.

"Fly?" Todd's mouth watered, "Why am I happy to see a fly?"

"You eat bugs." Good Fred sighed.

"Oh." Todd's tongue shot out and crushed the fly.

"YOU KILLED GOD!" The trucker slammed on her brakes, "OUT! NOW!"

"Fine we are at the Cherry Festival anyway." Pietro said as the three climbed out. The only reply was a cloud of global warming inducing toxins.

--------------------

**Side of the road still.**

"How long does she yell?" Piotr sighed.

"A long time." Kurt said as he redealt the cards.

"HEY LISTEN WHEN I AM SCREAMING AT YOU!" Kitty screamed.

"Why?" Piotr asked.

"BECAUSE!" Kitty stated in a huff.

"I don't want to." Piotr raised the other three five dollars.

"YOU ARE JUST LIKE A GUY!" Kitty stomped her foot, "NEVER LISTENING!"

"He is a guy." Jean offered.

"JEAN! GIRLS HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER!" Kitty turned on Jean.

"CAT FIGHT!" Kurt and Scott wooted.

"What?" Both girls turned and said in a calm voice.

"Uh oh." The two guys said before Kurt bamfed and left Scott to deal with two pissed of mutant teenage girls, who have access to lasers and minor explosives, and his car.

"At least they aren't plotting my murder." Piotr smiled at the silver lining of this very dark cloud.

"I hate you, this is your fault." Scott said before turning around and running.

"He left his car." Jean smiled, "Are you thinking what I am thinking?"

"Mustard and salad doesn't go together?" Kitty asked.

"Yes." Jean nodded.

"Is that it?" Piotr asked.

"No, we are also thinking about stealing the car." Jean stated.

"How do you know what I am thinking?" Kitty asked.

"Telepath." Jean stated before getting in the driver's seat.

"Oh." Kitty phased into the passenger seat.

"This will end in more pain." Piotr climbed into the back causing the back to sag.

--------------------

**Cherry Festival.**

"HEY GUYS!" Arcade waved when he saw the group that had ridden with the trucker.

"Yo, Wazzup?" Todd hopped over.

"Darn, he is alive." Wanda sighed.

"Darn he is alive." Lance sighed.

"Wow, what wonderful team unity." Good Fred sighed.

"I am going to blow money on rigged games." Arcade walked off to the banana hammock carny.

"I am going to try to win a stuffed animal to woe Kitty with." Lance went to more rigged games that he hadn't already lost at.

"I am going to use my powers to cheat at games." Wanda walked off.

"I am going to see how Kelly's doing." Pietro sped off.

"Oh, bugs." Todd hopped over to a dumpster.

"Now, I can sign up for that pie eating contest." Good Fred said to the rest that were still standing with him, no one.

--------------------

**Wanda by the rigged games.**

"How is she winning, they are rigged." One carny said to the banana carny.

"I don't know she reminds me of the fast mutant." The banana carny said.

"Want me to get some of the lads to take her out back?" The other asked.

"We aren't in the mafia anymore." The banana carny said sternly.

"So that works in everything, even politics." The mafia carny defended.

"Only in hostile takeovers." The banana carny crossed his arms.

"So, still a success." The mafia carny said.

"True, but they have better police here." The banana carny replied.

"Right, those guys who got busted for dealing drugs." The mafia carny sighed.

"Who would have thought that the police would sale their confiscated drugs?" The banana carny asked.

--------------------

**Arcade**

"Come one, go in there." Arcade lined up another shot.

"And you win." The carny said without an ounce of enthusiasm.

"Cool, what?" Arcade asked.

"This sack of sugary candy." The carny held up a sack.

"Cool." Arcade took the sack.

--------------------

**Lance.**

"PLEASE GO IN THERE!" Lance screamed, "I HAVE NO OTHER WAY TO WIN KITTY BACK!" Lance said eyeing the dragon prize.

"AND YOU MISS!" The carny smiled as he took more money from Lance, "I love desperate boyfriends."

--------------------

**Good Fred**

"I would like to sign up." Good Fred told the person taking names for the pie contest.

"NOT YOU AGAIN!" The poor lady screamed, "OUR BUDGET CAN'T HANDLE YOU!"

"Hello, would like to sign up." Evil Fred walked in.

"TWO OF YOU!" The lady began to twitch.

"YOU!" Both Freds yelled.

"THIS IS MY CONTEST!" They bellowed as one.

"YOU ARE GOING DOWN ON THE TABLE!" Both challenged the other to the contest.

--------------------

**Todd**

"Bugs..." Todd's eyes glazed over as he watched the surprisingly sophisticated bug civilization.

--------------------

**Pietro**

"Hey Kelly." Pietro leaned against the former principal.

"GO AWAY MUTIE!" Kelly screamed.

"Ah, ya love ma." Pietro cooed.

"I HATE YOUR GUTS AND YOUR FRIENDS IF I COULD I WOULD RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND USING THE JUICES TO SHINE MY SHOWS!" Kelly yelled.

"They wouldn't get cleaned?" Pietro stated.

"MY RED SHOES!" Kelly attempted to strangle Pietro only to have Pietro lean on the other shoulder.

"Oh that would work." Pietro nodded as the people coming to watch Kelly's speech gaped in surprise seeing Kelly and a mutant together.

"KELLY WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOUR REPUTATION IS ALREADY SHOT FROM THAT MALL FIASCO!" A very important politician that had been backing Kelly shouted, "COUNT ME OUT OF EVER SUPPORTING YOU AGAIN!"

"NO I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH THIS MUTANT!" Kelly shouted.

"WHAT? WE RE POKER BUDDIES!" Pietro gasped in mock anger.

"GAMBLING?" The same politician was also against gambling.

"I hate you." Kelly groaned to Pietro.

"You love me." Pietro said loudly.

"WHAT?" The politician also used a anti-gay platform when running for elections.

"I am screwed." Kelly groaned as reporters got second hand accounts of what had happened from other people.

--------------------

**Eating Contest.**

"Hey guys." Arcade walked up to Wanda, Todd, and Lance, the guys having been recruited (ordered) by Wanda to carry her winnings.

"Hello." Pietro sped up and leaned on Lance causing him to drop a plush thing.

"DON'T DROP IT!" Wanda snatched the thing up.

"I think Kelly is screwed." Pietro said after causing Lance to drop another one.

"STOP MAKING HIM DROP THEM!" Wanda snapped at Pietro, "And Kelly has always been screwed up."

"No I mean in trouble." Pietro said, "I kinda ruined his reputation without trying."

"So?" Wanda said.

"The second task when we were figuring out leaders, I have now won, I am the leader." Pietro smiled.

"Can he do that?" Todd asked.

"I don't know, what were the exact words we used when making the contest?" Wanda tried to remember what she had said.

"I don't know." Todd thought hard.

"There was no time limit." Pietro pointed out.

"True." Wanda nodded, "But how do we know he is really screwed, or if you are lying?"

"That." Pietro pointed to Kelly being mobbed by reporters.

"How do you respond to accusations that you are gay and seeing an underage mutant boy?" One reporter asked.

"ALL FALSE!" Kelly screamed.

"Good job man. I admit defeat for now." Lance said.

"Yo, you are the leader now." Todd said while readjusting the plush.

"Hey what about me, I haven't done anything bad lately." Wanda stated.

"Uh, I still remember last time." Todd mumbled.

"That was Pietro's fault, you said so." Wanda said.

"I said that to save myself." Todd said so Wanda couldn't hear.

"Wanda just let Pietro lead, he'll mess up in a week or so and you can take over." Lance sighed.

"Yeah." Pietro agreed, "Hey, wait a minute?"

"True." Wanda nodded, "Fine."

"I still don't understand how Wanda became the leader in the first place." Pietro said.

"Yesterday ..." Arcade began.

"STOP IT WITH THAT STUPID COCKROACH LIE!" Both Lance and Pietro screamed.

"What about the reactor?" Todd asked.

"Arcades toy." Pietro defended.

"No it isn't." Wanda stated.

"Well technically." Arcade began, "The roaches modified my computer..."

"Why does your computer have a nuclear core?" Lance asked.

"To keep the power bill down." Arcade shrugged, "Glad your memory's back Toad."

"Me to." Todd said, "HEY LOOK! Freddy's turn."

"Hey is that, that evil twin guy." Wanda asked watching Good Fred and Evil Fred stare each other down over the table full of pies.

"Yes." Lance nodded.

"This isn't going to be pretty." Todd closed his eyes.

"God save us all." Pietro covered his eyes.

"I am going to stand behind that big guy to avoid the debris." Wanda walked behind a large distant cousin of Good Fred.

"That computer looks like a good shield." Arcade walked behind the computer that was rigged to the counters, half the city budget went to the computer to make sure the correct winner was chosen (hence Bayville Highs low test scores).

"Hey Arcade." Kitty smiled from where she had been hiding with Jean.

"Hi, when did you get here?" Arcade asked.

"Just now." Jean replied, "We came because Kurt had mentioned at breakfast that he was entering. And we need to punish him." Jean gained a evil demonic smile.

"Okay." Arcade nodded and moved to the side of Kitty that Jean wasn't on.

"Contestants." The announcer held up a banner, "READYSETGO!"

Everyone paused as they dissected the words and began to eat. Following the expectations of those that knew either Fred it was messy and quickly passed into the hundreds count.

"AND THERE GOES ANY HOPE THE CITY HAD OF AFFORDING A NEW SCHOOL!" The announcer announced.

"Why do they use education money for this?" Jean asked.

"It teaches people about stomach pumps and emergency techniques for when someone chokes." Kitty replied as she ducked the tin that a pie had come in.

"Hey look there is Piotr." Pietro told Lance.

"AH! HE IS GOING TO KILL ME!" Lance dropped the plush.

"I will not kill you." Piotr walked up, "I don't kill crazy people."

"I thought you were trying to kill my dad." Pietro pointed out.

"I stopped chasing him." Piotr shrugged.

"Are your arms bent." Lance noticed the dented (human now) arms.

"Yes, Kitty hits hard." Piotr shrugged, "Luckily Wolverine showed me how to straighten hard metals. He found out how when his claws where bent."

"I thought his claws where the hardest substance in the world?" Pietro said.

"Kitty's cakes are harder." Both Lance and Piotr said.

"Right." Pietro nodded before dodging a piece of pie.

"AND WE HAVE A TIE!" The announcer attempted to hold up both Fred's hands, "HERE THEY ARE FOLKS! FRED DUKES AND FRED EARLS. Wow that is freaky."

"So Arcade why do you have a bag of candy?" Kitty asked while she waited for Kurt's round to end so that she could jump him and shave his fur off.

"Won it." Arcade shrugged.

"I thought you didn't eat candy?" Kitty asked.

"I don't." Arcade sighed, "Want it?"

"Sure I bet Jamie would love it." Kitty took it intending to give it to the grounded kid (It is best not to ask where New Mutants are concerned.) Several minutes later the announcer announced Kurt as the winner.

"Wow today went by fast." Kitty, Jean, and Pietro commented when they saw that the festival was closing down. The rest were glad.

--------------------

**Later**

"Demon girl." Piotr said as he straightened his arms.

"MY FUR!" was heard around the town at roughly 11:30.

"I can't tell what it is but my hair is different." Scott said as he ran his fingers through his pink hair.

"I love spying on other's dreams." Jean sighed as she looked in on Tabatha's dreams (not those types).

"Pretty Kitty." was heard in the brotherhood soon after, followed by nonviolent earthquakes.

"Who would'a thought that plush was so heavy." Todd moaned from his bed.

"Only two thousand more laps left." Pietro said as he ran around the world, "Gotta keep this figure."

"My stomach." For once both Freds had a stomach ache.

"This one goes here, and this here." Wanda giggled as she arranged her plush toys.

"I have a bad feeling about something." Arcade thought as he looked at the one piece of candy he kept from the bag he won.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: I know someone who goes to football games high for this reason._

_2: I am planing this story,send in ideas for it, if anyone know's Logan's birthday it would be appreciated._

_PLEASE review, or Arcade will hack your computer and Toad will slime the keyboard (after Arcade hacks it). And then Kitty will back you a cookie._


	9. Sept 2, Dawn of the Jamies

_Disclaimer: Tu amo, sed me non amas. Miser sum. Story of my life. Wow Latin class is paying off._

_September 02 - Saturday - Dawn of the Jamies_

--------------------

**Brotherhood house, crack of dawn.**

"Hehe." Wanda giggled still sorting her plush, some of which had been animated do to very unlikely odds.

"Is she still at it?" Good Fred groaned, he had the room right by Wanda.

"Kitty..." Lance was still fast asleep.

"Wanda..." And on a creepier level Todd was asleep.

"Pietro..." By far the creepiest was Pietro being asleep.

"I have a feeling of impending doom, like the kind I got before the roaches." Arcade hadn't gotten any sleep, trying to figure out was the doom he sensed. His only clue was when ever he looked at the candy he kept that it was stronger.

--------------------

**Across town. X-men mansion.**

"WHEE!"

"TABITHA!" Logan yelled.

"Badger, badger, badger, ..." Tabitha sang in a funny voice.

"TABITHA WHY DID YOU TELL JAMIE HE COULD HAVE ALL THE CANDY KITTY GAVE HIM!" Logan yelled at her.

"ARAGH SNAKE! ARAGH SNAKE!" Tabitha sang.

"I think she snapped." Hank looked at Tabitha.

"I told you the training sessions are too hard." Ororo said.

"I don't think they are hard enough." Scott and Logan said before looking at each other and going pale.

CRASH BANG CRASH! A dozen or so Jamies ran by shouting "They did it!"

"COME BACK HERE!" Ray and Roberto followed.

"Badger, badger, badger, ..." Tabitha kept singing.

"MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!" Jean added in before she flinched under Logan's glare, "Sorry it is catchy."

"Kill me." Logan groaned as the laser activated on Ray and Roberto.

"Aren't you pretty much immortal?" Kurt asked as he nursed his hurt tail.

"I wish I wasn't right now." Logan walked off to the Danger Room, "Take that kid to the park or something."

"That is a good idea," Ororo smiled, "The students should get out more."

"You aren't going to burn down the park, again?" Xavier asked.

"No, just a tree or two." Ororo shrugged.

"Okay, take the X-van and Jeans SUV." Xavier shrugged.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house, breakfast.**

"What do we do today?" Good Fred asked as he flipped pancakes.

"Go to the park to steal lunch and dinner?" Lance offered.

"That sounds like fun." Pietro said as he attempted to speed up breakfast.

"Yo, there is this beehive that is good." Todd nodded as he used his slime to put out the fire.

"You eat bees?" Wanda asked.

"He eats all bugs." Arcade pointed out.

"Yeah but bees sting." Wanda said.

"Yo, I am careful." Todd smiled, "But it is nice that you care sugar plum of my heart."

"ARAGH DIE FROG MAN!" Wanda hexed Todd away from his breakfast, a spider that thankfully is unable to start a civilization because no other spiders will have kids with it, something about husbands being eaten.

"She called me a 'man.'" Todd said in a funny voice, vaguely like Tabitha's.

"I can't win." Wanda moaned.

"Nope." Everyone else said.

--------------------

**Park**

"WHAHOO!" Fifth teen Jamies ran around a play area.

"I would hate to give birth to quindecaplets." An old lady said to another.

"Oh yeah that had to hurt." The other old lady said before going up to Ororo, "I feel for you, having to give birth to quindecaplets."

"Wha-" Ororo began to say before the old lady walked off.

"THE BROTHERHOOD IS IN THE HOUSE!" Pietro ran into the park.

"What house?" Lance asked once he parked the jeep.

"That house." Pietro pointed to a house that Todd was exiting.

"How did he get here before me?" Lance asked no one in particular.

"It is Toad, it is best not to ask." Good Fred got out of the car causing it to rise several inches.

"Oh, squirrels." Wanda walked off to play with (torture) the squirrels.

"Poor squirrels." Pietro sighed.

FROOOM! "AH! HELP!" Voices shouted in the distance from where a group was having a barbecue.

"That explains my feeling of doom." Arcade said as he watched a Jamie run by with stolen candy.

"Even for a mutant teenager he is hyper." Scott groaned to Kurt who had a bandage on his tail, which was sticking out of the hologram.

"My tail." Kurt groaned as another Jamie tripped on it.

"COME BACK HERE YOU TWERP!" Kurt ran after the Jamie, "NO! NO MORE CANDY!"

"CANDY CANDY CANDY!" The Jamie ran around eating a pepper mint, which due to the nature of Jamie's power was reduplicated in every Jamie's stomach, and then concentrated because they share a single mind. Meaning 1 pepper mint became 15 or so. Which means everyone else had a problem.

"I will kill Tabitha." Every X-man moaned.

"Why me? What did I do?" Tabitha asked as she attempted to lure a Jamie into captivity by bribing him with a chocolate bar.

"NOOO!" Kurt, Scott, and Piotr, he had joined the day before, lunged at her.

"AHH! GET AWAY I AM USING THIS TO TRICK A JAMIE!" Tabitha jumped back bumping the original Jamie.

"Not more." Kurt sank to his knees.

"Why did we come here?" Arcade asked Lance who was staring at the events unfolding.

"I don't know, but grab everyone we are leaving." Lance turned around when two Jamies grabbed a pigeon.

"WHEE!" Pietro ran by with a Jamie on a piggyback ride.

"GET OFF!" Pietro screamed, "My beautiful figure can't take the weight!"

"I'm back." Wanda walked up with a creeping smile, "Did you know the X-men are here?"

"Yes we were just leaving." Lance got in the jeep.

"Why?" Wanda asked.

"FIRE!" A large person from the barbecue ran by.

"That is why." Lance pointed as a few trees burned down.

"COUSIN!" Good Fred ran to help the barbecuer put out the fire that was on him.

"Why did I wake up today." Lance groaned as pure pandemonium raged around the park, "Arcade, never give Jamie sugar."

"I gave it to Kitty." Arcade pointed out.

"WHAT? ARE YOU MOVING IN ON MY GIRLFRIEND!" Lance yelled.

"N-n-n-no." Arcade stuttered as Lance got back out of the Jeep.

"LIKE LANCE I AM NOT YOUR'S" Kitty ran up having heard Lance yell, "WE ARE LIKE TOTALLY THROUGH!"

"That is what she said last time they broke up." Good Fred came back, his cousin already showing five Jamies how to make a good bonfire and how to cook hot dogs on it.

"THIS TIME I LIKE MEAN IT!" Kitty screamed.

"She said that the time before." Wanda pointed out.

"I REALLY MEAN IT!" Kitty was turning red.

"She said that..." Todd began, "Never mind."

"Wow, Lance just give up if you break up this often." Arcade muttered to Lance.

"I WILL NOT GIVE UP!" Lance assumed a he-man stance, "SHE WILL BE MINE!"

"NO SHE WILL BE MINE!" Piotr assumed his own stance turning metal.

"HEY I AM NOT AN OBJECT!" Kitty yelled, "I AM INTELLIGENT!"

"Really?" Wanda snickered, "You don't act intelligent."

"WHY YOU GOTHIC SIDE SHOW!" Kitty jumped at Wanda.

"TAKE IT BACK!" Wanda pulled on one of Kitty's bangs.

"WOOT CAT FIGHT!" Every X-men guy shouted.

"Oh -" Kurt and Scott began when they saw the girls turn on them, they were cut off by Kurt's trademark Bamf.

"They can't get us all." Bobby and Roberto asked Ray.

"They can't. I can." Tabitha smiled.

"WHAT DID WE DO TO YOU?" The three New Mutants guys asked.

"Girls stick together." Tabitha shrugged as she formed a bomb, "And I am tired of chasing Jamies."

"RETREAT FORMATION OMEGA!" Scott yelled.

"KURT ISN'T HERE ANYMORE!" Bobby yelled as he dodge Tabitha's bomb.

"DO GAMMA THEN!" Scott ran in another direction.

"I HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE DR SESSION! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" Piotr asked the running guys.

"I am glad I have the intelligence not to say that out loud." Arcade said to the agreements of the Brotherhood boys.

"So what do we do about the twerp." Todd pointed to a Jamie that was running from a park ranger.

"Leave him?" Pietro asked rubbing his back.

"Find the original and hit him on the head to knock him out?" Arcade offered his solution.

"NO! THAT WILL MAKE MORE!" Every one else yelled.

"I agree with Pietro." Lance said.

"It is the apocalypse." Good Fred said without an ounce of humor in his voice.

"AH!" Both Lance and Pietro screamed afraid of agreeing, "WE SHOULD STOP HIM! NO LEAVE! STOP HAVING THE SAME IDEAS AS ME!"

"Wow freaky." Todd watched the two feuding leaders fight.

"Should we stop them?" Arcade asked as an earthquake buried the jeep.

"Lance is going to be mad when he realizes he just did that." Todd watched, "And to answer your question, no."

"I don't think he will notice." Good Fred said as the top of the car was buried.

"Great, there goes the park." Arcade moaned as the three rampaging mutants and the angry girls destroyed anything resembling a natural area.

"Man, that pond had great bugs." Todd moaned.

"Oh look at my cousin, that is a big bonfire, much better than any grill." Good Fred pointed to his cousin still teaching Jamie.

"I wonder if that fire making skill will cause trouble for the X-men?" Arcade mussed as he backed away from where Wanda was currently trying to remove Roberto's head.

"How is that whenever we try to have a peaceful day there is fighting?" Good Fred asked as Jean attempted commit third degree murder on Scott nearby.

"I don't know, but I got this cool watch from that house." Todd said as he started messing with a Rolex and broke it, thus removing any resale value.

"DIE!" Lance slugged Pietro who for once didn't move fast enough.

"Is he alive?" Todd dropped the useless watched and leaned over Pietro.

"My head." Pietro moaned.

"Sadly." Lance sighed.

"We really should consider stopping the little kid, his responsible adult isn't being so responsible right now." Arcade pointed to Storm who was trying to fry Piotr, who had the dilemma of using a weak human form or a conductive/attractive (Electricity! not that way) metal form.

"Why, the X-men would get mad for even looking at them, let alone trying to help them." Lance pointed out as Kitty re-bent Piotr arms.

"True, but maybe we should consider that they have moved onto the rest of the town." Arcade pointed to a gang of Jamies leaving the park.

"I pity the X-men's lawyers." Lance shrugged.

"Why? They get paid over time." Todd scratched his head.

"They do? I thought they had a salary." Lance repeated Todd's actions.

"No the union changed it last year after that whole thing with the Christmas tree and the Santa." Todd pointed out.

"Oh right, Xavier was mad at us for convincing the Lawyers to make a union, and mad at us for causing the tree to do that." Lance remembered.

"Do what?" Arcade asked weary of the answer.

"Our lawyer said not to talk about it. I wonder what is up with our lawyer, I haven't heard from him in a week or so." Lance shrugged as he picked up a moaning Pietro, "Where's my jeep?"

"Uh..." The Brotherhood members who knew the answer didn't want Lance to shoot the bearer of bad news.

"Tabitha stole it." Todd blurted out the first thing that popped in his head.

"AGAIN? THAT KLEPTO!" Lance shouted looking for Tabitha, who had left the park chasing Bobby with Amara.

"Good thinking." Good Fred said as he watched Lance run out of the park trying to find his jeep.

"Does Tabitha steal it often?" Arcade asked.

"When she use to live with us, yo." Todd nodded, "Yo, wanna go eat at a place that isn't a war zone?"

"Sure, this new all you can eat pizza buffet opened up across town." Good Fred said.

"I pity them." Todd said.

"How are we getting there?" Arcade pointed to the place the jeep had disappeared through.

"Well since it is no where near lunch, by the time we get there it will be lunch." Todd pointed out.

"Okay, I have no life so why not waste time walking across the city while enraged mutant girls on their periods kill stupid mutant guys." Arcade shrugged.

"They are on their period?" Todd asked.

"Yup, girls who spend a lot of time together have them at the same time." Arcade nodded. _(A/N: 1)_

"How do you explain Wanda?" Good Fred asked, "She isn't on her period, that was last week."

"Really?" Todd asked, "How'dja know?"

"She made me buy the tampons while we tried to get light bulbs." Good Fred shuddered at the memory of the women aisle at the store.

"Oh, so why is she so mad?" Todd asked.

"Does she need a reason?" Arcade joked.

"That still doesn't explain one thing." Todd said.

"What?" Arcade asked.

"How do you know the X-Girls are on their period?" Todd said.

"I saw Tabs' handing that Fire Princess a box." Arcade got a dreamy look as he thought about Amara.

"WHAT IS IT WITH GUYS ON THIS TEAM?" Todd asked the sky, "FIRST FREDDY AND RED! THEN LANCE AND KITTY! PIETRO AND HIS SHRINE TO JUBILEE! AND NOW OUR NEWEST MEMBER IS FALLING FOR ONE OF THE X-GIRLS' EVIL SPELL! I BET IT IS XAVIER! HE IS TRYING TO CONVERT! IT WON'T WORK ON ME BUDDY! WANDA MAKES ME IMMUNE AS LONG AS SHE IS ALIVE I WILL NEVER FALL UNDER ANOTHER GIRLS SPELL!"

"Darn." Wanda sighed, before continuing to pummel a random guy who hadn't even wooted.

"I don't like Jean anymore." Good Fred said.

"Don't lie, you talk in your sleep." Arcade said, "Loudly."

"DARN THE CURSE OF THE DUKES IS BEGINNING TO SHOW!" Good Fred fell to his knees, "I THOUGHT THE CURSE HAD SKIPPED ME! BUT NO DUKES IS IMMUNE! I WILL KILL THE EARLS FOR PLACING THE CURSE ON OUR FAMILY"

"AMEN BROTHER AMEN!" Good Fred's cousin shouted from across the park.

"I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER! I AM YOUR COUSIN!" Good Fred shouted back while throwing the Dukes' hand sign, which looked more like a wanna be gang's sign that most gang's used.

"Why did I get my parent's locked up?" Arcade moaned, before remember how he was neglected, "Oh right, I remember."

--------------------

**Later on the road.**

The Brotherhood had managed to finally leave the park, Wanda stayed to punish the X-Guys, Pietro had run off to re-fix his hair, and Lance had run off to try and find Tabitha. Unknown to Lance, he had stepped on Smith _(A/N: 2)_ causing Blank to rejoice, "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! WHICH WITCH? THE WICKED WITCH!" Blank sang, "Wait Smith isn't a girl, he can't be a witch."

"Ow." Smith moaned as he got up.

"NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY!" Blank had his 24th nervous breakdown in the last 2 days.

--------------------

**Elsewhere.**

"Yo, admit it, you are lost." Todd sighed as Arcade turned the map over a few times.

"I AM NOT LOST!" Arcade shouted, "I AM A GENIUS SURELY I CAN READ A MAP!"

"That is a map of China." Good Fred said before taking the map back and handing Arcade a new one.

"Why do you have a map of China?" Todd asked.

"It was free at that one Chinese restaurant." Good Fred shrugged.

"The one that closed down?" Todd asked.

"Yeah." Good Fred nodded.

"Which one, the one on north street that went bankrupt?" Arcade asked.

"No I got the puppets from there." Good Fred replied, "The haunted one on main street."

"Oh right, the one where that guy killed that other guy and baked him into the chicken." Arcade nodded.

"I always loved their chicken." Good Fred sighed to the nervous looks of the others.

--------------------

**Another road, with Lance.**

"COME BACK HERE TABITHA!" Lance yelled.

"Why?" Tabitha walked out of a store with Amara.

"WHERE IS MY JEEP?" Lace asked panicked not seeing a single car in the road side parking spots.

"I don't know. Did you leave it at the park?" Tabitha asked as she blow a large bubble with some gum.

"NO IT WAS MISSING AND THE GUYS SAID YOU STOLE IT!" Lance yelled while causing a earthquake which knocked over a street light. Sadly hitting the original Jamie and cause nearly 20 to appear.

"Shit." All three mutants said as the Jamies ran off crying.

"I didn't take it." Tabitha said as she crossed her arms offended at the accusations.

"Who did?" Lance asked.

"Did one of the guys need it to run?" Amara offered.

"THAT'S IT! I WILL KILL ALL THE X-GUYS." Lance shouted.

"Get in line." Amara flicked her hair and brushed past Lance.

"Hey were's the one you were chasing?" Lance looked around for Bobby.

"Oh we left him in the store." Tabitha pointed back at Victoria's Secret.

"Poor him." Lance muttered before quickly leaving the two girls in case they turned on him.

--------------------

**Park with Wanda.**

"We shouldn't have done that." Jean said as she watched the moaning guys who were only in boxers attempt to stand up.

"Why not?" Wanda said eyeing Piotr who had chosen the metal form when dealing with Storm, and had been zapped enough to be forced into human form.

"Stop staring at my students." Storm chastised Wanda.

"He's 19. He isn't a student." Wanda said watching him.

"Turn." Storm began to stare at Piotr.

"HEY HE IS MINE!" Kitty snapped at the two mutants.

"YOU BENT MY ARMS! WHY SHOULD I BE YOURS?" Piotr yelled before a hex bolt shut him up.

"MINE!" Storm caused a gust of wind to blow Kitty back a few feet.

"Must not mention felines, or mud." Scott closed his eyes and began to repeat to himself.

"HE IS MINE!" Rogue tapped Ororo's neck causing her to become weak, but not go unconscious.

"HEY YOU HAVE GAMBIT!" Kitty snapped.

"YOU HAVE LANCE!" Wanda pushed Kitty.

"AND YOU HAVE TOAD BOY!" Jean pushed Wanda with her powers.

"WHAT ABOUT ME JEAN?" Scott asked from his spot in a tree.

"You's be fine if you'd lose the stick." Jean stated.

"What stick?" Scott asked.

"The stick up your -" Kitty began

"KITTY! LANGUAGE!" Storm yelled.

"Sorry." Kitty blushed.

"Up my what." Scott asked finally climbing down the tree, "Where's Jamie?"

"What happened to the park?" Robert came over to the group holding a plant in front of himself.

"Xavier isn't going to be happy." Ororo sighed looking at the burnt out park.

"What did you attack me anyway?" Piotr asked finally finding his clothes and stopping the stares, "I didn't do anything."

"Sorry got carried away." Kitty blushed again.

"Wait where'd my team go?" Wanda looked for the Brotherhood.

"While you guys were fighting they ran off." Kurt said having bamfed in without anyone noticing.

"You know we haven't punished you yet." Kitty glared at Kurt.

"Look at the time, it is time for brunch." Kurt bamfed off into the sun rise (It's before noon so it is still going up).

"I hate that elf." Kitty huffed.

--------------------

**With The Brotherhood.**

"We are lost." Todd stated.

"No we are not." Arcade turned a map over before throwing it away, "THAT WAS ALASKA FREDDY!"

"Sorry." Fred handed Arcade another map.

"I tell you we are lost." Todd said.

"WE ARE NOT LOST. See here on the map, we are on Independence Ave." Arcade pointed to a street.

"First of all that says Interstate 120." Todd pointed, "And it is a map of Florida. And New York doesn't have cacti." Todd pointed to a cactus behind Arcade.

"How the heck?" Arcade scratched his head as he looked out onto the desert.

"I told you we shouldn't have used that bus to speed up our travel time." Good Fred said.

"Still how did we get here?" Arcade said looking at a nearby sign, 'Phoenix 200 miles, Hope you brought water and gas.'

"DOWN HERE!" Blank screamed while jumping up and down, "IT is those darn possessed dust bunnies, Forge must've rebuilt that teleporter, HE WAS ORDERED BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER NOT TO!"

"Hey guys." A Jamie said as he came around Good Fred.

"Woah, not a good idea to hide behind Freddy." Todd pull Jamie farther from Good Fred, "Wait how'd you get here?"

"I followed you through that weird portal thingy, you didn't see it because you were arguing over a map of Australia at the time." Jamie said.

"I thought your powers had a limit." Good Fred said as he tried to calculate how far this Jamie was from the others.

"Sugar extends my range." Jamie shrugged and pulled out another candy bar.

"So, you are here, 14 or so Jamies are in NY. And WE ARE LOST!" Arcade finished in a scream.

"There are now 57 Jamies." The Jamie said.

"At least now he admits to being lost." Todd said while Arcade had a mental breakdown.

"Shut up Blank." Smith said while holding his back, "We will survive."

"HOW WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT THE SIZE OF ANTS WITH OUR ONLY HOPE BEING SEVERAL LEGALLY INSANE MUTANT TEENAGERS!" Blank said.

"Well everything sounds bad when you look at the negatives." Smith stated.

"What are there positives to look at?" Blank asked.

"It isn't raining." Smith said after a pause.

"IT'S THE DESERT! WE WILL DIE OF DEHYDRATION!" Blank screamed.

"You're right. We are dead." Smith realized the hopelessness of the situation, "Oh well."

"OH WELL?" Blank asked.

"After being shrunken for a while I accepted death." Smith shrugged.

"I HAVEN'T!" Blank began to cry.

"Did you hear something?" Todd asked The Jamie who was building a pyramid out of rocks, and Good Fred who was trying to catch a rattler to eat.

"No." They replied while Arcade wept over his lack of map skills.

"Should we at least head towards the city?" Todd finally asked after forgetting about the sounds.

"SAVE US!" Blank pleaded.

"Calm down, just jump on the top of a shoe." Smith hopped onto Arcade's shoe, "See."

"Right." Blank joined him.

--------------------

**Street with Wanda.**

"Where are those no good lazy ..." Wanda began to rant about the guys until she saw Lance turn the corner, "LANCE YOU LEFT ME!"

"Sorry." Lance flinched, "I thought Tabitha stole my Jeep, but now I think it was one of the X-jerk guys who took it."

"Did you bury it again?" Wanda asked.

"No I learned my lesson last time." Lance nearly wept at the memory of the damage to his Jeep.

"Right." Wanda said before adding in her head, 'He never learns.'

"I know you just thought something bad." Lance said glaring at the goth while a firetruck whizzed pass responding to a call from the park.

--------------------

**Brotherhood Bathroom with Pietro.**

"DONE!" Pietro put up his 100 hair comb set into their places, organized by size and bristle stiffness, "I think I need a few more combs. I don't have one soft enough for my left bang." Pietro then ran from the house to the place he had left the others, meaning he didn't find them.

--------------------

**Arizona, Most of the 'hood.**

"I never realized how far 200 miles was." Arcade groaned.

"Me neither, and I have to carry more weight than you three." Good Fred groaned as he pushed forward.

"Really? It doesn't seem that long." The Jamie said bouncing up and down on his feet, "Come on Toad. Lets have another hopping contest."

"No." Todd groaned having lost the last one and ending up with a sprained ankle.

"Sore loser." The Jamie said eating more candy.

"How much candy do you have?" Arcade asked.

"I don't know, I think my powers somehow duplicate it. Once in my stomach and another time in my hand." Jamie shrugged.

"Meaning one candy bar equals two or more." Todd groaned as Jamie ran laps around a road sign.

"WHO GAVE HIM THE CANDY TO BEGIN WITH?" Good Fred yelled.

"Arcade." Todd said.

"I GAVE IT TO KITTY!" Arcade said saving himself from Good Fred's rage.

"Tabitha told me to eat it all." Jamie said.

"THE SHE-DEMON WHO CUT OFF MY HAIR?" Good Fred shouted.

"Yes." Jamie nodded, "You looked horrible without hair."

"Thanks a lot." Good Fred said sarcastically.

"Your welcome." Jamie said as he began to play with a fire ant nest.

"NO THOSE THINGS STING!" Todd pushed Jamie out of the nest and became the fire ant's new victim.

"OW OW! THE ONE THING THAT HURTS TO EAT!" Todd said as he hopped around.

"This is fun." Jamie said as Todd began to swell up.

"Not when you have to rub the lotion on him." Good Fred moaned.

"Ugg." Arcade made a face at the thought.

"Exactly." Good Fred nodded.

"MOVE I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Blank screamed.

"Did you hear something." Todd stopped bouncing long enough to ask.

"No." The others responded.

"YES YOU DID!" Blank screamed, "If I get back to my native height I will kill Zack."

"Murder is illegal." Smith pointed out.

"So I'll do the time." Blank said.

"It is time for lunch." Good Fred stated after his stomach growled making the others think it was an earthquake, or Lance.

"Darn still 195 miles to go." Arcade moaned seeing another sign.

"We made good time." Todd finally hopped over ant-less.

"What?" Arcade asked, "Ten miles in a few hours?"

"That's pretty good for us." Good Fred admitted.

--------------------

**Bayville, Wanda and Lance.**

"Where are the others?" Wanda asked after the two had been walking for a few minutes.

"Knowing them I would say Arizona." Lance shrugged.

"Not even they could do that." Wanda stated, "Maybe Pietro or Toad, but not Freddy or Arcade."

"I don't know, I saw Freddy and Arcade trying to look at a map of Bayville and find a good restaurant." Lance said.

"So?" Wanda asked.

"It was a map of Brazil." Lance said.

"Oh." Wanda replied, "They are screwed."

"Big time." Lance agreed.

"Hey guys." Pietro finally found them.

"Well Pietro's not lost." Wanda sighed sadly.

"Why would I be lost?" Pietro asked.

"We think the others are lost." Lance shrugged.

"Oh, maybe that is what Forge meant." Pietro thought.

"Forge?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, Native American, he had a big box and was mumbling that he 'should have listen when they said not to rebuild this thing.'" Pietro shrugged.

"If Forge is involved, they are doomed." Wanda sighed.

"Oh right your roach story." Lance and Pietro rolled their eye's.

"IT HAPPENED!" Wanda shouted, "Come on let's go eat somewhere."

"Thank God for short attention spans." Pietro said after changing his pants, which he had soiled from fear of Wanda's glare.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"HEY A TRUCKER!" Todd began to wave at a passing truck.

"Hey, guys." The Tucker pulled over and winked, "Call me Bubba. Need a lift?"

"Uh no." Todd said as they all backed away.

"Don't worry." 'Bubba' smiled, "I don't bite hard."

"We'll catch a lift with the next one." Arcade said backing into a cactus and not noticing.

"Fine be that way." The trucker drove off.

"Okay surely the entire trucker population can't be like that." Good Fred shivered.

"Only the ones who stop for a bunch of teenage guys in ratty clothes who look like they have no money." Arcade muttered.

"Right." Todd nodded seeing the logic.

"ANOTHER ONE!" Jamie ran in front of a truck causing the driver to slam on the brakes. Luckily that Jamie was only a clone and as such no one really died.

"Did I hit him?" The driver jumped out, "Where'd the body go?"

"He went to the candy factory in the sky." Arcade said.

"Oh right. Oh well, no cops out here to see." The driver shrugged, "Need a lift?"

"Sure." The group climbed in.

"Amazing how many people these small cabs can hold." Good Fred said as he climbed in.

"I know." The driver grinned.

"That grin creeps me out." Todd whispered to Arcade's nods.

--------------------

**Back in Bayville.**

"This is Trish speaking, the city is going up in chaos and officials have no clue why." Lance, Wanda and three Jamies watched a TV in the corner of the pizza parlor.

"Where'd Pietro go?" Wanda asked Lance.

"He said something about having a date with some French girl." Lance shrugged before eating a slice of pineapple and olive pizza.

"Oh right." Wanda nodded while eating her meat lover's pizza.

"Can you buy us candy?" The Jamies asked. "NO!" was their only response.

--------------------

**Paris.**

"You are beautiful." Pietro said to a lovely french girl in french. Only Pietro isn't that good with languages and it came out as something that can't be repeated below a M rating.

"DIE DIE DIE!" The girl began to beat Pietro with his half eaten lobster.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"Show me the way to go home." Good Fred sang.

"I'm tired and I want to go to bed." The trucker sang with him.

"I had a little drink about an hour ago

And it went right to my head.

Wherever I may roam,

On land or sea or snow,

You'll always hear me singing this song.

Show me the way to go home." The group finished singing.

"I love that song." Good Fred sighed.

"We know, we've sung it five times already." Arcade muttered.

"HEY LOOK THERE IT IS THE CITY!" Good Fred jumped up causing the Trucker to swerve dangerously.

"Wow we made good time." The trucker blinked at his watch, "I think that is why those highway patrollers wanted me to pull over, I was speeding."

"Yo, look, a cop 'copter." Todd pointed to a helicopter that had been following the speeding truck for the last few hundred miles.

"$!" The Trucker shouted, "I can't let them search my cargo. I GOT OVER A TON OF MARIJUANA!"

"Uh, we'll be leaving." Arcade said as the Brotherhood did what they did best, run from the law.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"COME BACK!" Lance ran after a Jamie which had managed to take his wallet into a candy store.

"FINDERS KEEPERS LOSERS WEEPERS!" The Jamie laughed.

"RIGHT I FOUND IT FIRST!" Lance shouted.

"Found?" Wanda asked slightly out of breath from trying to keep up.

"Yeah, politically correct for stolen." Lance shrugged catching the Jamie.

"HEY YOU CAN'T HIT A LITTLE KID!" Wanda shouted when Lance reared his arm back.

"He's a clone." Lance defended his actions.

"Actually I am the original." The Jamie said.

"See." Wanda snapped.

"I won't beat you up. Only because I don't want more of you around here." Lance said grabbing his wallet and dropping Jamie.

"TAKING MONEY FROM LITTLE KIDS?" Kitty had turned to corner only to see the last bit.

"HE STOLE IT FROM ME!" Lance shouted.

"SO?" Kitty asked.

"IT'S MINE!" Lance defended.

"YOU STILL TOOK IT FROM A KID!" Kitty grabbed the wallet and handed it to the Jamie.

The Jamie ran off to Lance's protests.

--------------------

**Arizona.**

"What do you want to do now?" Arcade asked the other two from where they were hiding in the middle of a mall, best place to hide is in plain view.

"There's a food court." Good Fred pointed.

"Steal or buy?" Todd asked.

"Steal money to buy." Good Fred shrugged.

"Okay." Todd hopped off to several tables relieving the wallets and purses of unnecessary weight.

"That was easy." Good Fred commented when Todd hopped over handing the other two money.

"I've been practicing." Todd smiled.

"I can tell, not one person saw you." Good Fred nodded not noticing the angry mob that Arcade was pointing to that was gathering behind him.

"HE STOLE OUR MONEY!" "THAT MUTIE FREAK!" Several mobsters shouted.

"I wonder who they are talking about?" Good Fred and Todd said as Arcade backed away from them and the mob.

"DIE FROGGY AND LARD BOY!" The mob charged the two.

"LARD BOY!" Good Fred picked up a bench and began swinging it.

"TAKE IT BACK TWIG MAN!" Good Fred grabbed a security guard and began to shake him.

"I think I will go hide from the law again." Arcade sighed and walked off to the far end of the mall.

--------------------

**Paris.**

"STOP IT PLEASE!" Pietro cried from under the table where he was hiding, sadly it still came out wrong in French.

"DIEDIEDIE!" The girl screamed.

--------------------

**Bayville.**

"That twerp took my wallet and no good ex-girlfriend who has that annoying face that gets so cute when she's mad..." Lance finished his rant with a sigh thinking about Kitty.

"He is a sad excuse for a man." Wanda sighed watching Lance's glazed face.

"And her cute little ..." Lance began.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Wanda screeched.

"Uh what?" Lance blinked.

"YOU WENT INTO YOUR KITTY DAZE AGAIN!" Wanda slapped Lance, hard.

"OW THAT HURTS! YOU HAVE SHARP NAILS!" Lance held the three cuts on his face from Wanda's 'claws.'

"Sorry, I guess sharpening them when I am angry is a bad idea, they get too sharp." Wanda shrugged before using her hexes to heal Lance.

--------------------

**Arizona, with Arcade.**

"I hate the mall." Arcade grumbled as he walked past a group of valley girls, "At least Kitty is smart."

"This is weird." Blank told Smith for the twelfth time.

"I know, first that drug trader, then that angry mob." Smith shook his head, "This is messed up."

"Maybe I should get some light bulbs." Arcade looked at a store that sold household items, "Why do they have those in a mall?"

--------------------

**Arizona, with Good Fred and Todd.**

"RUN!" Todd hopped over a group that was running for him.

"RAWR!" Good Fred roared as he barreled through his attackers.

--------------------

**France.**

"ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE!" Pietro screamed in English giving up on French.

"DIE DIE DIE!" The French girl screamed in English.

"WHAT YOU CAN SPEAK ENGLISH?" Pietro asked.

"We." The Girl nodded.

"SO YOU LET ME TRY AND SPEAK FRENCH FOR NO REASON!" Pietro yelled.

"We." The girl kicked him one last time where it counts.

--------------------

**Bayville, Wanda and Lance walking down a street.**

"HEY FORGE!" Lance yelled when he turned a corner and saw said troublemaker messing with a strange box.

"Hi." Forge nervously placed the box behind him.

"Have you seen Freddy or Arcade?" Wanda asked.

"What about Toad?" Lance asked Wanda confused as to why she would leave him out.

"I don't care about him." Wanda shrugged before redirecting her question at Forge, "Well?"

"Na-Na-No." Forge stammered kicking the box farther behind him, activating it and teleporting a trashcan and 4 Jamies to parts unknown, "NOT AGAIN!"

"Where are they?" Wanda sighed.

"Well the Jamies are somewhere in Asia." Forge said looking over his machine.

"And our friends?" Lance asked.

"Uh, Earth, I think..." Forge looked away from them.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE ON THIS PLANET?" Lance shouted.

"I think they are." Forge stated.

"YOU ALSO THOUGHT SWINGING SHRINKING FORMULA AROUND WAS OKAY!" Wanda snapped remembering the roach incident.

"Stop it with that story." Lance moaned, "I don't believe that happened."

"It did." Forge said.

"Fine whatever." Lance sighed "WHERE ARE THEY?"

"I don't know, these dust bunnies attacked..." Forge began.

"Dust bunnies?" Lance sighed once again gaining that feeling that tells you that you should have stayed in bed.

"Right, this one time I was trying to make a better interface for my arm, I had the prototype hooked up to my computer, with a traitorous AI. And this demon portal ..." Forge began his story.

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Lance covered his ears.

"I think they are still in the US though." Forge offered hopefully.

"Oh goody, only fifty states to check." Lance sighed.

"It won't be that hard, we just need to watch the news." Wanda told Lance.

"True." Lance nodded, "Okay Forge watch the news and look for any sign of them."

"Me and Wanda will catch that x-noob who stole my jeep." Lance his eyes glowing red for a minute.

"CANDYCANDYCANDY!" A Jamie ran by giggling.

"First I will find the original and hurt him." Lance growled.

"If you hit him there will be more." Wanda pointed out.

"I know, I meant physiologically. Tell him Santa isn't real." Lance smiled evilly.

"That is evil even for me." Wanda fold her arms giving Lance her 'I am ashamed of you look.'

"Fine." Lance couldn't stand Wanda being ashamed of him.

"After I find my jeep I will give Kitty this necklace I have been meaning to give her." Lance held up the necklace he had liberated from the flea market booth owner who had liberated it from someone else.

"Oh, pretty." Wanda's eyes went wide at the shiny object.

"It's for Kitty." Lance held it protectively.

"I know, it isn't red so I couldn't wear it with anything I own." Wanda shrugged.

"Uh good bye." Forge said slightly disturbed at how easy they got off topic.

"Why does everyone sound relieved to get away from us?" Lance asked.

"I don't know." Wanda shrugged before they continued their search for the Jeep, running into the occasional Jamie.

--------------------

**Later, still in Bayville**

"I am going to kill Tabitha." Wanda growled when the ninth Jamie started to hit on her.

"Why, if it wasn't for her then I wouldn't be here." The Jamie smiled handing Wanda a flower, "All duplicates have their own part of Jamie's personality."

"Exactly." Wanda said with a wolfish grin that seem to convey the message, 'I will eat you.'

"Don't you love the rough girls?" The Jamie asked Lance.

"Uh ..." Lance blinked.

"Of course you do, you are dating Kitty." The Jamie smiled at Wanda.

"SO WRONG!" The two Brotherhood members yelled.

"GET AWAY!" Wanda screamed when the Jamie reached for her, "YOU ARE TO YOUNG AND NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE TOUCHES ME!" Wanda's hexes scared the Jamie away.

--------------------

**Forge's House**

"Watch the news." Forge grumbled, "I am a genius and he has me watch the news. Why am I listening to him?"

"Omblah ump?" A strange purple thing asked.

"I do not feel guilty." Forge told the alien.

"Oogla gla ckay." It said.

"Fine, I feel guilty, I should have taken precautions." Forge sighed, "It's just that no matter what I do something happens. I reset my alarm, interplanetary war. I put together playground set, the FBI, CIA, FEMA, IRS, EPA, EPA, FDA, DHS, DOD, DIA, DOJ, ANA, CDC, DOT, DOA, FCC, MIB, WINE, and LAST all investigate me. Though WINE doesn't do much, the IRS is the worst."

"Oooohcla clunkitfunt." The alien said.

"So what if it was several blocks wide and shaped like a weapon?" Forge asked.

"Oooh NASA?" The alien asked.

"Well NASA hasn't been able to investigate me since those cut backs.

"Oooh DOA51?" The alien asked another question.

"The department of area 51 has payed me not to mention any involvements I may or may not have with them." Forge said.

"Oooblaw coocoolat?" The alien said pointing at the TV.

"No I don't think those mutant related riots in the Arizonian mall have anything to do with the Brotherhood." Forge sighed.

--------------------

**Arizona, Mall Arcade, with Arcade.**

"AHA I AM THE CHAMPION!" Arcade laughed as he shot Zombies on a generic arcade game.

"Hello creepy game addict." Evil Fred said as he walked up behind Arcade.

"How the heck did you get in Arizona?" Arcade asked.

"I was visiting a family member who has become ill." Evil Fred stated.

"That is a coincident." Arcade said.

"Yes, and now nothing stops me from hurting my evil duplicates friend." Evil Fred said.

"Please, don't mention duplicates." Arcade sighed.

"Why?"

"You know that Jamie X-man kid?" Arcade asked, which Evil Fred responded to with a nod, "He is tearing up Bayville."

"I am glad I am not in Bayville today." Evil Fred laughed.

"Me to, even if I somehow got here." Arcade nodded.

"It is dinner time so I need to eat." Evil Fred said as he walked out somehow missing Good Fred walking in with Todd.

"We should leave." Good Fred said after finding Arcade.

"The mob still after you?" Arcade asked.

"Yes." Todd said rubbing his butt, "Yo that girl kicks hard."

--------------------

**Bayville.**

"I think your jeep is lost." Wanda eventually sighed.

"I feel so empty. First Kitty, now my jeep." Lance said on the verge of tears.

"I'm sure you can move on." Wanda sighed awkwardly patting his back.

"I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON!" Lance began to weep.

"Come on Kitty can't be that good of a girlfriend, can she?" Wanda asked.

"She's the best." Lance sighed going into his dreams.

"She always fights you, flirts with every guy ..." Wanda began to list Kitty's faults.

"She's perfect." Lance sighed.

"You're lost." Wanda walked a few feet away from Lance.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"I'm hungry." Good Fred groaned.

"We know." Todd sighed for the umpteenth time that 10 minutes.

"I haven't eaten since breakfast." Good Fred moaned again.

"We could have frog legs." Arcade offered.

"WHAT?" Toad jumped behind a bush.

"I meant there." Arcade sighed and pointed to an expensive french restaurant.

"Okay." Todd said, "But no frogs."

"Fine." Arcade sighed.

--------------------

**Bayville, with Forge.**

"Those guys have managed to go a whole day without making the news." Forge said in shock as that portion of the news finished.

"Oopalumpa?" The alien asked.

"I wasn't including the X-man cloning dude." Forge shrugged.

--------------------

**France, Pietro.**

"That demonic little ..." Pietro began to rant about his date after working off his check washing dishes, they paid by the hour not dish.

"Are you talking about my sister." A guy asked who had walked up with a limp.

"Who's your sister?" Pietro asked.

"Matilda." The guy replied.

"Yup." Pietro nodded.

"You are an idiot." The man walked off.

"That was weird." Pietro muttered and began to run home, the long way via Hawaii to visit his other date.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"And what will you be having to drink to day, sirs?" A snotty french waiter asked the three Brotherhood boys.

"Yo pop's good." Todd said.

"Tea, lots of it." Good Fred said already searching the menu.

"Sparkling grape juice." Arcade said while folding a napkin into a penguin.

"Yes." The waiter turned up his nose and stalked off to the kitchen.

"How are we paying for this?" Arcade whispered to the others.

"Well Pietro and the owner's daughter ..." Good Fred began.

"They had sex?" Arcade asked.

"No, Pietro stole the test answers for her before he moved to Bayville and so she owns him." Good Fred finished.

"Sheesh, Arcade, you know Pietro hasn't done anyone." Todd laughed.

--------------------

**Bayville, Brotherhood.**

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Wanda finally asked as they finished checking another street.

"Sure." Lance walked into the nearest restaurant and was kicked out by the bouncer.

"Wrong place." Wanda sighed.

"Fine let's try this one." Lance walked into another door and was thrown out.

"This is bar street, IT'S ALL BARS!" Wanda snapped.

"Fine you pick a place." Lance folded his arms still sitting in the road where he had landed.

-------------------

**Bayville, Forge.**

"Soon I shall have my revenge." A dust bunny 'said' to itself.

"Oka Kluco?" The alien asked Forge.

"No I didn't hear anything." Forge shrugged.

"Ooplet." The alien muttered.

"Not everyone is deaf." Forge defended.

"Oogla." The alien said as it left to its UFO.

"See ya later man." Forge held up a peace sign.

"I will get him and his friends." The dust bunny began to laugh hysterically.

"Forge ek deked." The alien said, which basically means 'Forge is dead.'

--------------------

**Bayville, Wanda and Lance.**

"I'm sorry Lance." Wanda hugged Lance, "I didn't know it was a biker's bar."

"So wrong," Lance said in half a whisper, "My life is to short for that..."

"On the bright side we got this cool gold thingy." Wanda held up a broken gold watch.

"You stole that from the owner." Lance said.

"Saves the trouble of using a lawsuit to get reimbursement for traumatic experiences." Wanda shrugged.

"THEY ATTACKED ME!" Lance snapped.

"I had to save you and bring you back to reality," Wanda shrugged, "And hug you, yuck."

"That helps my self esteem issues." Lance muttered.

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Wanda asked, "You should see a shrink about that."

"I will say nothing." Lance said and walked off to another restaurant, "This town has lots of food places."

--------------------

**Hawaii, Pietro.**

"My only love ... " Pietro offered a native Hawaiian a bouquet of flowers.

"THAT'S MY MOM!" Pietro's date ran up and shouted.

"Shi-" Pietro muttered before going unconscious due to a flying wheel kick to the head.

--------------------

**Bayville.**

"Finally a place to eat." Lance sighed while he and Wanda sat down at a table.

"Didn't we just eat?" Wanda asked.

"So?" Lance shrugged.

"No reason, just making sure I'm not imagining things." Wanda said.

"Right ..." Lance blinked before looking at the menu, "Burritos or Tacos?"

--------------------

**Forge's**

"I love microwavable food that is bad for me." Forge sighed as he nuked his meal.

"Now is my chance." The dust bunny crackled while using an unidentifiable mode of transportation to enter the microwave.

"FIRE!" Forge screamed as the dust bunny caused the nuke box to burst into flames, "SAVE THE UNHEALTHY FOOD!"

Forge converted his arm into a flamethrower (he added one after the nine hundredth time his lab was burnt down) and put out the flames, "That was close."

"MY PLAN IS RUINED!" The dust bunny screamed.

--------------------

**Hawaii**

"WOMEN ARE CRUEL!" Pietro screamed from where his date had him strung up a coconut tree.

"I like ropes." His date's mom winked.

"Eep." Pietro eeped when he saw the renewed glare in his date's eye.

--------------------

**Arizona.**

"I want this and this and this, oh and this." Good Fred was pointing enthusiastically at the menu.

"This is going to take a while." Todd muttered to Arcade who stared at the waiters pad which could rival War and Peace in size.

"Will that be all sir?" The waiter asked never losing the snotty fake accent.

"Yes." Good Fred nodded, "But I'll want dessert."

"I want this thing." Todd pointed to a random picture in the menu.

"That is a French vineyard." The waiter said.

"Ow right. This then." Todd pointed to a picture of food.

"Very well sir." The waiter looked to Arcade.

"Uh give me this." Arcade also pointed to a picture.

"Very well sirs." The waiter sighed wishing he had stayed in Florida.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"This is Trish speaking ..." Lance and Wanda watched the news on a TV in the corner.

"Is there any restaurant around here that doesn't have a TV in it?" Wanda asked before hexing the TV before it finished blaming mutants for global warming.

"HEYGUYS!HOWAREYOU?BOYAMIHUNGRY!ICOULDGOFORMEXICANFOOD!HOWABOUTYOU?" A Jamie ran in and saw the familiar faces of Lance and Wanda.

"What?" Lance blinked twice.

"OH!FOOD!" The Jamie grabbed Lance's plate of food and ran off.

"MY FOOD!" The Lance shouted.

"Leave it." Wanda sighed and stopped Lance from chasing Tabitha's pupil.

"My untouched food." Lance whined.

"Here, I'll share." Wanda sighed and heaped half her plate onto the table in front of Lance.

"Thanks." Lance began to eat straight off the table.

"HEY THAT WAS ONE OF THOSE MUTIES THAT IS TEARING UP TOWN!" A large man who did not need to be eating Mexican food pointed at the door that Jamie had just left through.

"KILL HIM!" Another man said as he got up and a attempted to get his body mass moving to chase said murder victim.

"For a second I thought those were Freddy's relatives, then I remembered that they would all help Jamie destroy town." Wanda said as she sized up the piles of lard.

"No those are average Americans." Lance said.

"They look slightly on the lazy side of the scale, most Americans can still see their feet." Wanda said.

"True..." Lance began to mentally index everyone he had meet into body sizes trying to come up with the 'average' American.

"Are you done?" Wanda asked after scraping up the last of her food.

"Yeah." Lance nodded, "Let's go." The two mutants left with the waiter trying to explain to the boss that someone had just left without paying.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"I hate my life." Blank moaned as he and Smith ate food that the Brotherhood was dropping.

"WAITER MORE!" Good Fred shouted.

"Woe is to me." The waiter sighed.

--------------------

**Hawaii**

"Finally they are done." Pietro groaned as he tried to untie himself, "That was freaky."

--------------------

**Bayville**

"COME BACK HERE YOU &!# RUG RAT!" Wanda screamed as she chased a herd of Jamies _(A/N: 3)_.

"Those idiots." Lance pitied the Jamies which had stolen Wanda's latest Gothic Romance story written by someone with the pen name of Flame Lover.

"DIE YOU FREAKS OF LOGIC!" Wanda threw a powerful hex bolt at the group causing half of them to disappear.

"I wonder if that hurts." Lance mussed as he watched.

"OW!" A Jamie screamed as it vanished.

"That answers that question." Lance shrugged as several X-men joined him in watching Wanda beat up Jamies.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Lance asked the X-men.

"No she is helping us round up the Jamies, and as long as she doesn't hit the original then we should be okay." Scott said, "And Jamie pissed me off when a dupe stole my car."

"I'm still looking for my car one of you X-pigs stole it." Lance accused.

"WE DON'T STEAL UNLIKE YOU!" Scott shoved Lance.

"YES YOU DO!" Lance used a quake to flip Scott.

"WANNA PLAY DIRTY!" Scott shot an optic blast at Lance who used a wall of earth to block it.

"Wow I'm fighting good today, usually I would have lost by now." Lance said in amazement.

"You both suck at fighting, you just usually have Kitty and Jean distracting you so one of you loses concentration." Ray pointed out.

"What?" Both asked in confusion.

"If it weren't for one of those girls popping up everywhere your fights would go on forever." Ray said.

"That means we a equally skilled." Scott pointed out.

"Right, you equally suck." Ray said.

"HEY!" Both leaders turned on the spark plug who just zapped them to the ground.

"See?" Ray turned and left with Kurt.

"Ow." Lance moaned while Wanda finished off the gang of Jamies.

"Should I being seeing colors other than red?" Scott moaned.

"You should get that checked. If you're seeing strange colors after being electrocuted..." Wanda started.

"I will kill Ray." Scott moaned.

"Something just occurred to me." Wanda stopped her medical explanation.

"What." Lance sighed knowing this would cause him a bigger headache.

"If Jamie clones whatever he is holding when he clones, what happens if he is holding a person?" Wanda asked.

"That's easy he would..." Scott attempted to answer but was unable to figure out the answer.

"Not so easy is it?" Lance laughed.

"So? What would happen if Wanda hexed her own powers away? She needs her powers to maintain a hex." Scott crossed his arms.

"Easy, the ultimate question would become known. I tried once." Wanda said.

"So that's why the world is so messed up. And why I keep spelling forty two in Scrabble." Lance scratched his chin.

"Thank you Wanda, next the world will be destroyed for a hyper space highway." Scott grumbled.

"Nah, we got the plans from the basement inside a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign saying Beware of the leopard on Alpha Centauri and filed a complaint." Lance shrugged.

"Good help us all." Scott walked away with a groan.

"Wasn't that just for our house, and it was in city hall's basement?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, but Scott is so high strung." Lance smiled as the X-men's leader had a nervous breakdown.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"That was good." Good Fred sighed as he leaned back and patted his bulging stomach.

"Ohhh." Todd groaned.

"Perfection." Arcade sighed.

"Your check sirs." The waiter held up a check.

"Tell the owner's daughter, Lindy, that we're Pietro's friends." Todd waved the check away.

"I am sorry but Lindy's dad doesn't own this establishment anymore." The waiter stated, "You can pay, right?"

"Riiight." Arcade looked around, "RUN!"

The three stuffed Brotherhood members ran from the restaurant causing general chaos.

"Kill us now." Blank sighed as Smith hummed a old show tune from a chase scene.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Good night teddy." Forge hugged a Tye Dyed half cyborg teddy bear to his chest.

"Good night master." The teddy responded in a voice that seemed to promised eternal suffering if it ever got its stuffed paws around Forge's neck.

"MY PLANS!" The dust bunny screamed, "I miss being a demon."

--------------------

**Hawaii**

"GET OFF ME!" Pietro screamed as various animals tried to nest on him, "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I HAVE HAD TO SLEEP TIED UP WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN?"

--------------------

**Bayville**

"Should we go home?" Wanda finally asked after they finished checking another district of downtown looking for the missing Jeep.

"NOT TILL I RING THE NECK OF THE DIRTY X-NERD WHO STOLE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!"

"TRY IT BUSTER!" Piotr hit his chest in challenge.

"He meant his Jeep." Wanda sighed.

"Oh, right then." Piotr shrugged, "Got any toilet paper, I need it to straighten my arms.

The two Brotherhood members stood there blinking until a Jamie ran up and handed Piotr some toilet paper, "Thank little scary man. Don't eat any more sugar."

"YOU SAID YOU'D GIVE ME SUGAR IF I GAVE YOU THE TOILET PAPER!" Jamie screamed.

"It was a trick." Piotr shrugged, "I'm not not Tabbitha, I don't give candy to underage mutants who get sugar rushes easily."

"HAVE A HEART TIN MAN!" Jamie cried.

"He would need to see the Wizard of Oz to get a heart." Wanda laughed.

"John isn't here." Piotr blinked.

"What?" Lance was taken aback at that.

"Oh right you don't know. After Magneto built this reality altering device and John thought it was a VCR." Piotr began.

"That explains why I woke up that one time wanting to kill a dog." Wanda mussed.

"Think how many times Magneto could have taken over the world if it wasn't for Pyro." Lance mussed.

"I stopped counting after the whole War of the Worlds thing." Piotr said.

"Do I want to know." Lance asked cautiously.

"No." Piotr walked away while the Jamie tried to steal candy from him, unsuccessfully considering the height and weight difference.

"We'll be looking all night for that Jeep." Wanda sighed.

"So? IT IS MINE MYSTIQUE STOLE IT FOR ME!"

"AVALANCHE!" Ororo walked up.

"DON'T ZAP ME! I DID NOTHING WITH KITTY!" Lance cringed.

"I will ignore that." Ororo sighed, "I know where your Jeep is."

"WHICH OF YOU GEEKS TOOK IT?" Lance yelled.

"I WILL NOT IGNORE THAT INSULT!" Ororo zapped him.

"Ow." Lance twitched on the ground.

"Look if you'll help me round up the last few hundred Jamies, so Chucky doesn't screw with my mind for bringing more lawsuits, I will take you to your Jeep." Ororo stated.

"That's extortion." Lance pointed out.

"No it is blackmail." Ororo corrected, "Extortion is threatening harm unless you are paid. Blackmail is doing anything that is otherwise legal, example not showing you your jeep,but demanding payment."

"But since my jeep is stolen it would be aiding and abetting to keep it hidden, thus illegal and extortion." Lance countered.

"The Jeep wasn't stolen." Ororo finished.

"DOES THIS MATTER!" Wanda snapped.

"Not really." Lance shrugged.

"Besides it is neither, it is simply selling of information." Wanda stated.

"True." Ororo and Lance muttered.

"Fine, but my Jeep better be un damaged." Lance glared at the weather witch.

"Sure." Ororo said before adding quietly, 'get him to help then it doesn't matter if he gets mad.'

"Good." Lance walked off and began to sing, "...off to work we..."

"This is not going end well." Wanda sighed.

"I am beginning to regret this, at least we have the original so he won't make more." Ororo muttered.

--------------------

**X-Mansion Danger Room.**

"YE-HAW!" Wolverine slashed through an image of a student.

"Disturbing." Hank sat in the control booth.

"My head." Xavier walked in after speaking with his lawyer.

"YOU'RE WALKING!" Hank shouted.

"I know. I fake not being able to because I know the students go easy on me because they think I am cripple. I don't want to put up with what you put up with." Xavier collapsed in one of the many wheel chairs lying about the building.

"That is low." Hank muttered.

"I know." Xavier sighed.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"Fifty down fifty to go." Lance smiled at the destroyed building.

"HEY WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR THEY OWE ME A NEW BUILDING!" The land lord ran up to Lance.

"Professor Charles Xavier." Lance stated calmly.

"YOUR BOSS IS GOING DOWN IN COURT!" The man ran off to call his lawyer on the phone which was destroyed with the building.

"This fun." Wanda walked up to Lance, "I got twenty with my hexes."

"That's good only thirty left." Lance nodded.

"I kinda feel bad for betting them up." Wanda said.

"I don't, they took my wallet." Lance gave a bad evil laugh.

"You had no money." Wanda pointed out.

"So it is the principal of the matter." Lance huffed.

"Come on lets find to other Jamies and get your Jeep." Wanda sighed giving up on Lance.

"I SEE ONE!" Lance sent a wave of concrete at a Jamie destroying a newly paved street.

"HEY YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" A construction worker yelled in mangled English.

"My boss will pay, ask Xavier." Lance shouted back.

"You are evil, I like." Wanda smiled a wolfish grin at Lance that made her look like she was going to eat him.

"She's going to eat me." Lance whimpered too quietly for Wanda to hear.

--------------------

**Hotel in Arizona**

"How are we paying for this?" Arcade asked the two mutants.

"We leave before check out and don't pay." Todd said.

"Riiight." Arcade nodded, "I have broken more laws with you guys than the rest of my life combined."

"Wow we haven't been breaking that many lately." Good Fred scratched his head.

--------------------

**Hawaii**

"IT POOPED ON ME!" Pietro shooed a bird away from himself, "THIS IS CRUEL LET ME DOWN!"

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Must kill master." Forge's teddy struggled.

"Shut down teddy, it is time to sleep." Forge said without waking up.

"I hate my artificial life." The teddy sighed.

"My plans are ruined." The dust bunny sat in a corner weeping.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"AH HA!" Wanda hexed several Jamies out of existence, "How many are left."

"Four or five." Lance shrugged and took out four candy store robbers in one quake, "None left."

"You only took out four, what if there were five, that would leave one." Wanda said.

"Four or five, close enough what can one dupe do?" Lance asked, "Let's get my Jeep."

"Can we do it in the morning it is late, and I didn't sleep last night." Wanda yawned.

"Why not?" Lance cocked his eyebrow

"I was organizing my plush." Wanda laughed.

"Disturbing." Lance muttered before walking into the dark Brotherhood house which the fighting had left them in front of, "What a coincident."

"Why aren't there any lights?" Wanda asked.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia.**

"BOW TO ME MY LOYAL TRIBES PEOPLE!" Four Jamies raised their arms to the cheers of a primitive tribe which was made up of Fred Earls' distant relatives and several people from Atlantis, aka not so primitive.

"Wait why should they bow to you?" A Jamie (Jamie #2) asked the one that had spoken (Jamie #1)

"Yeah." Jamie #3 agreed.

"I should be in charge." Jamie #4 stated.

"NO ME!" The other three countered.

"WHAT!" Jamie #4 shouted, "I AM IN CHARGE!"

"NO ME!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"I AM JAMIE!" Jamie #1 yelled.

"No I am Jamie." Jamie #2 shouted.

"I'M SPARTACUS." Jamie #3 said.

"DIE!" All four launched themselves at each other.

--------------------

_End_

_Author Notes:_

_1: The entire winter guard (women in it) at my school did this. I feel sorry for the two guys in winter guard._

_2: See Chapter 7, Found. The LAST Roach Fiasco (Chapters 5-7, also The Light Bulb Fiasco)_

_3: What do you call a group of Jamies? Pod, herd, flock, school, gang, hive, swarm?_

_PLEASE review._

_Send in Ideas I have up to chapter 44 planned (Various other spread throughout the year about 117 chapters planned in total, some most might be cut out though) 365 days in a year, 365 chapters._


	10. Sept 3, Boom Boom

_Disclaimer/TO DO: _

_1. Write Chapter (Check)_

_2. Figure out the plot. (How do you make half a check?)_

_3. Cure my Procrastination Syndrome. (I'll do that tomorrow)_

_4. Write Disclaimer. (I do it eventually)_

_**September 3 - Sunday - Boom Boom**_

--------------------

**Arizona Hotel**

"WAKE UP CALL!" A maid banged on the door of the three Brotherhood boys.

"AH! WE MISSED CHECK OUT TIME! NOW THEY WILL BE EXPECTING US!" Arcade woke up in a panic.

"Calm my panicky friend." Todd soothed Arcade, "We'll leave now."

"Five more minutes gran gran." Good Fred moaned in his sleep.

"Once we wake Freddy up." Todd added.

"How hard is that?" Arcade asked.

"Invulnerable skin, he can't feel anything." Todd reminded Arcade.

"Darn." Arcade tested Todd's words by kicking the sleeping giant.

"Got any food?" Todd asked.

"What why?" Arcade was confused but handed over a generic chocolate bar.

"You'll see." Todd opened the candy and wrinkled the wrapper making lots of noise.

"FOOD!" Good Fred jumped out of bed, denting the ceiling, and landed on the ground, denting the floor.

--------------------

**Hawaii**

"HOW CAN I GET COVERED IN SO MUCH ANIMAL POOP IN SO LITTLE TIME!" Pietro woke up to find himself different shades of white and brown.

"Hello handsome." Pietro's date's Mom walked out to Pietro with a knife.

"Help." Pietro eyes went wide when he saw the knife.

"Oh be a man, I'm just cutting you -" The woman began.

"AH DON'T CUT ME!" Pietro vibrated at a fast speed.

"CUTTING YOU DOWN!" The woman finished.

"Oh right." Pietro blushed.

"Why are you helping me." Pietro asked as the woman cut at the bonds.

"You're cute, and your scaring off the animals." The woman shrugged.

"That seems contradictory." Pietro muttered.

"Most people aren't into freaks of freaks like me." The woman shrugged, "And I am not talking about mutants."

"That seems insulting." Pietro muttered.

"It was." The woman finished allowing Pietro to hit his head on the ground.

--------------------

**Bayville**

SNORE Lance snored from his room, "Pretty Kitty."

MUAHAHA Wanda crackled in her sleep an evil crackle that would give crackling demons nightmares about crackling.

"I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Todd's breakfast from yesterday screamed before a larger bug ate it.

BEEP BEEP! Both of there pleasant dreams were interrupted by alarm clocks which somehow every morning were fixed after the morning before where they were broken by Good Fred's arm, Todd's slime, Arcade's death ray, Pietro dropping it off Mt. Everest, Lance burying it, Wanda hexing it into an early grave, and sometimes Xavier rolling over it.

"I hate these alarm clocks, I think they are haunted." Lance grumbled as he fixed breakfast because the cursed alarms went off the moment he tried to sleep.

"Must kill slime ball for buying demonic alarms." Wanda twitched as she fixed an UFO (unidentified food object), which happened to have red sauce that looked like blood on it. Needless to say Lance hid the knives.

"What do you want to do while we wait for Forge to get around to finding the others?" Lance yawned as he watched Wanda use a soon to beat up her clock.

"Hold on I need to do something first." Wanda walked over to the Magic-No-Charge-Pay-Phone hanging in the room.

"I wonder how Mommy Mystique got that phone." Lance muttered.

"No clue." Wanda said while she dialed, "HEY FORGE WAKE UP AND FIND THEM NOW! I NEED TO KILL THE FROG FOR BUYING THESE ALARM CLOCKS AND FRED NEEDS TO MAKE MY BREAKFAST! Goodbye cutie."

--------------------

**Forge's**

"She called me cutie." Forge's eyes went wide, "Save me she's gonna eat me."

"How I wish." Forge's teddy bear muttered.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

'She called him cutie? Since when has she had his number.' Lance thought, 'Poor Forge she's gonna eat him. At least I know she doesn't want me anymore.'

"Did I say that out loud?" Wanda asked.

"Yes." Lance replied.

"You will tell no one who is living or dead." Wanda hissed.

"No master." Lance bowed his head.

"Good, have a cookie." Wanda handed Lance a cookie that only had red Choco Candies, aka C&Cs, (A/N:1 ) in them.

"Oh red pretty. Much better than the only pink ones that Kitty makes, and not a heavy as lead." Lance scarfed the cookie.

"Why does no one but me have table manners in this house?" Wanda asked before scarfing her own food.

"Said the pot to the kettle." Lance muttered.

"What?" Wanda glared causing the windows to shake, not from her powers but from fear of her.

"Nothing." Lance whimpered.

"Good, have a cookie." Wanda handed Lance a cookie.

-------------------

**Arizona**

"My arm." Todd groaned as Good Fred munched on the candy which he had ripped from Todd's arm.

"QUIET I AM EATING!" Good Fred yelled causing the TV to fall to the floor.

"I haven't been with you guys that long, but I know not to mess with Fred when he is eating." Arcade whispered to Todd.

"YOU HAVE TO GET OUT HERE AND PAY OR WE ARE CALLING THE COPS!" The hotel manager banged on the door.

"We stayed to long." Todd gasped in fear.

"NO I CAN'T GO TO JAIL I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH MY PARENTS!" Arcade screamed.

"I thought my family was messed up." Good Fred muttered, "Evil twins and curses and government secrets have nothing on Arcade's dysfunctional family."

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Good Teddy Bear," The demonic duct bunny 'walked' over to the cyborg, "I have heard your plight with the evil Forge, help me defeat him and we will be glorious. AND WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD."

"Only if I get to rule Asia." The Teddy bear stated.

"What? The economic center of the world? You can have Europe." The dust bunny negotiated.

"Deal." Both somehow managed to shake on it.

"I have a feeling of impending doom." Forge walked into the room in which the two plotters where sitting.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

"I'M BACK!" Pietro ran into the living room where Wanda and Lance had fallen asleep watching cartoons, "GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Pietro pushed the two mutants apart.

"GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF ME!" Wanda snapped when she woke up and hexed Pietro into a wall.

"Welcome back, how was your date." Lance muttered half asleep, "And why do you have rope burns on your arms." Lance paused and considered his question, "Forget it I don't want to know."

"NO! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." Pietro snapped, "I don't do bondage."

"Bondage? What I didn't mean you having sex. I meant you getting you butt kicked by your dates." Lance rolled his eyes finally awake.

"For your information I didn't get my butt kicked-" Pietro began.

"No it was your head. See the bruise, Lance?" Wanda pointed to a large lump on Pietro's forehead.

"You just gave him that." Lance pointed out.

"No he hit the back of his head when I hit him." Wanda stated.

"True." Lance nodded.

"FORGET ABOUT THAT!" Pietro shouted, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!"

"I didn't do anything." Lance defended.

"Your right, sorry." Pietro apologized, "WANDA! HOW COULD YOU HEX HIM INTO SLEEPING WITH YOU!"

"PIETRO!" Wanda hexed Pietro at the door, through which Tabitha was entering, strangely she still had a key to the place.

"GET OFF ME PIETRO!" Tabitha shouted from where they landed, "DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS THERE!" BOOM "NEVER PUT YOUR HANDS THERE!"

"I didn't mean to I was trying to get off you." Pietro said in a funny voice.

"Uh why are you here?" Lance asked.

"Long story." Tabitha shrugged.

"We have no life, tell." Wanda pulled up a chair with a hex.

"Well -" Tabitha launched into a long, sad, very short, and not so sad story.

-----**FLASH-BACK**-----

Our story begins in a distant (30 minutes by car, 20 by Logan's bike, 5 by Kitty's driving, less than 1 sec by Pietro's running) building clear across the neighborhood. Okay it isn't that distant.

"Good morning Jamie." Ororo smiled as Jamie came in for breakfast.

"Owww." Jamie moaned.

"Is your stomach aching after yesterday?" Ororo asked kindly while promising death for the trouble he caused.

"BOOM BOOM IS IN THE KITCHEN!" Tabitha burst through a door spinning Jamie around five times and causing twelve clones to appear, "BADA BING BADA BOOM!"

"Sorry shorty, here have a candy bar to make it better." Tabitha handed a candy bar to every Jamie, who all ate it, save the original/smarter one.

"TABITHA DIDN'T YOU LEARN YESTERDAY!" Ororo attempted to grab the candy from the Jamies.

"TABITHA OUT!" Ororo yelled as the Jamies got glazed looks in their eyes, "YOU CAN NOT BE NEAR JAMIE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY!"

"Ah man." Tabitha groaned and snagged her breakfast, "See you later then."

-----**FLASH-BACK**-----

"And so Here I am." Tabitha shrugged.

"God help us." Lance groaned.

"She's gonna steal my clothes." Pietro whinnied while Tabitha began to ruffle through a hamper full of Pietro's clothes (He doesn't have enough closet space.)

"I like her, she inspires fear in others." Wanda grinned.

"Today we witness the union of two evils." Lance muttered.

"God have mercy on our souls." Pietro added.

"So what's happening with the geeks?" Wanda asked while she helped Tabitha destroy Pietro's clothes.

"Not much, Xavier is confused by the new lawsuits though." Tabitha shrugged, "You?"

"We're planing on getting Lance's Jeep back from Ororo today." Wanda shrugged.

"YOU X-GEEKS STOLE IT!" Lance shouted in the background.

"Oh right, I heard about that deal. I also heard that Lance buried it in the Park again." Tabitha said.

"Figures." Wanda muttered darkly before adding in a happier tone, "Beating up little kids was fun. To bad most kids really get hurt when you do that."

"You're evil." Tabitha muttered.

"I blame my bad home life." Wanda replied.

"For most of your childhood you had no home life, how could that make you evil." Tabitha pondered.

"My point." Wanda sighed.

"Oh right that asyl-" Tabitha broke off when Wanda glared at her.

--------------------

**Forge's**

BOOM

"That is the sixth explosion in the last ten minutes. What is going on?" Forge looked at the newly burnt door while his parents tried to convince a priest the their son's ghost was haunting them.

"MISSED THAT &#$!" The dust bunny yelled.

"You have bad aim." The cyborg teddy said.

"You shot the first five." The dust bunny defended.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"RUN!" Arcade shouted as he and the other two ran from debt collectors.

"Wow debt collectors are mean down here." Todd hopped over a 18-wheeler.

"For some reason I have a feeling that I would rather be here than at Bayville." Good Fred mussed as he plowed through a Hummer.

"YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR TWO NIGHTS!" A well dress debt collector ran after the Brotherhood holding up a piece of paper.

"YO, WHAT ARE WE DOING FREDDY WE ARE MUTANTS LET'S TAKE HIM!" Todd and Good Fred stopped in their tracks while Arcade ran off.

"Uh ... This is the first time anyone has tried to fight me..." The debt collector backed away slowly while the two advanced on him, Good Fred with a smile promising pain and humiliation.

"I am hungry." Good Fred stated with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Uh right, cannibalism is frowned upon in this country ..." The debt collector backed away some more.

"I am a mutant terrorist, I am frowned upon by this country." Good Fred walked closer.

"Right ..." The debt collector turned around and ran screaming for his mom, and someone named Bubba.

"Were you really going to eat him?" Arcade finished running around the block and stopped in front of the two mutants.

"If I had hot sauce." Good Fred shrugged.

"Arcade, hold me I'm scared." Todd hugged Arcade.

"Me too." Arcade said while he stared at Good Fred who walked into a restaurant and robbed them.

--------------------

**Bayville, Cue evil laughter**

"MY CREATION!" Tabitha laughed from the kitchen while the brotherhood watched in fear at the monstrosity she was creating.

"Blob has some serious competition." Wanda stared as the pile of food going on Tabitha's 'snack' grew.

"Who puts a whole bottle of Tabasco sauce on their sandwich?" Pietro wondered.

"I once knew a kid who jugged a bottle straight, he threw up a few minutes later." Lance said. (A/N: 2)

"Remember last time Tabitha threw up?" Pietro asked.

"That time with the toilet paper and the paper mache donkey?" Lance asked.

"No the time before that with the chocolate cake she ate by herself, the wedding cake." Pietro told Lance, "By the way who has a chocolate wedding cake?"

"Oh right that time, she was having a mock wedding with Toad." Lance nodded as his senile memory managed to drag up the traumatic event, "I didn't get any sleep that night."

"Why do I live here?" Wanda asked no one in particular.

"Because it is fun." Her leprechaun told her, the one her cell mate in the asylum had introduced her to.

"Right." Wanda nodded.

"Who's she talking to?" Lance whispered to Pietro.

"Don't say a word, she might flip out on us again." Pietro muttered back.

"Want one?" Tabitha asked holding up her master piece, none FDA approved food.

"No thanks just ate." Both Wanda and Lance said.

"Darn I can't use that excuse I haven't had breakfast yet." Pietro muttered.

"Your lost." Tabitha shrugged, "So anything happening?"

"Didn't you already ask that?" Lance groaned.

"I did, didn't I?" Tabitha mussed, "Okay, explain why did your manic bosses run off? That is the only thing that has happened around here."

"Well Wanda got her memories back, went berserk, destroyed Magneto's source of income, causing his lackeys to attack him. I think Mystique went insane, either that or she loves Magnuto." Lance summed up the reason why Magneto was sending Xavier post cards from Cuba.

"Right..." Tabitha blinked, "I thought that monkey man did a good job on her head?"

"He didn't finish leaving unstable traces in my memory that were triggered which further caused my mind to remember everything else. Xavier told me that a mind can never forget anything, it can only be hidden." Wanda shrugged, "I think it was when Jean was trying to cheat off me during the drivers ed class that she triggered my memories."

"She cheated? You have a permit?" Tabitha gasped.

"Yes she cheated, honor student with perfect life. Mind reading powers. Connection? I think so." Wanda connected the clues explain Jean's perfection, "I got my license I am a good driver."

"Cough. Threaten instructor. Cough." Pietro faked coughed and was hexed into the wall.

"Okay..." Tabitha blinked, "What do you in your spare time?"

"Try to get food, money, gas, Kitty..." Lance started listing what the Brotherhood, at least him, tried to acquire, "Speaking of Kitty I have this necklace for her."

"Ohh pretty." Tabitha's eyes glazed over when she saw the necklace.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Mom, dad, I was never dead and I am not a ghost." Forge told his parents in their morning ritual of trying to convince them that he was real and not a hallucination brought on by the drugs the physiologist prescribed.

"Must kill master." The teddy bear said in modem dial tones to the dishwasher.

"That is weird what does 'must kill master' mean?" Forge asked, he knows dial tones.

"Idiot." The toaster sighed.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"We have been in this state for two days and already have committed twenty seven felonies?" Arcade stared at the wanted poster at the post office, "And why are we here?"

"To send a letter telling Lance where we are." Todd shrugged.

"Why not send a letter with stolen stamps that will take three days to deliver when you can use a phone to get instant communication." Arcade grumbled.

"Was that sarcasm?" Good Fred asked as he stuffed the letter into a box, breaking the box.

"No." Arcades voice dripped of sarcasm.

"All right then." Good Fred smiled.

"Why do I stay with you guys?" Arcade banged his head on a counter next to a phone.

"You got you parents arrested and your guardian/butler kicked you out." Good Fred shrugged.

"I am calling Lance." Arcade grabbed the phone and dialed.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"Hello." Lance picked up the phone, "Brotherhood Boarding house, delinquents at your service. Need a rival school vandalized, need insurance, calling about your debts, this is the place."

"LANCE IT IS ME ARCADE!" Arcade shouted loud enough for the other mutants in the house to hear, and deafen Lance.

"Where are you cuddle cakes?" Tabitha sang into the phone.

"Uh, Lance, why is Tabs there?" Arcade asked in fear.

"WHAT I CAN'T HEAR WITH MY RIGHT EAR ANYMORE SPEAK UP!" Lance shouted.

"Use the speaker phone Lance." Wanda sighed and pushed the button.

"I am in Arizona, if you don't get here fast we will need bail money." Arcade sighed.

"We'll be right there." Wanda snapped and hung up the phone, "ALRIGHT MEAN YOU HEARD THE MAN! I WANT IDEAS ON HOW TO GET THERE FAST, I ALSO WANT TO HEAR THE IDEAS FAST!"

"OH OH OH!" Tabitha raised her hand and started bouncing around.

"Yes, Tabitha." Wanda smiled a fake smile.

"Badger always leaves the keys in the X-Jet." Tabitha smiled hoping the others would get the idea.

"So?" Pietro asked.

"WE STEAL THE JET IDIOT!" Lance whacked Pietro over the head.

"Ow. Fine but I call shot gun." Pietro grumbled.

"I drive." Wanda smiled.

"Never mind I want the seat by the parachutes." Pietro amended his seat choice.

"I hate flying." Lance groaned.

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"I sense a disturbance in my mind." Xavier held his head and concentrated.

"Another lawsuit." Logan walked by with a raw steak speared in one set of claws and a leaking beer can on the others.

"Alcohol poisoning, and or insanity." Hank muttered referring to Xavier's recent drunkenness.

"DON'T GET BEER ON THE CARPET!" Xavier shouted.

GRR Logan growled.

"Never mind." Xavier whimpered.

"HEY GUYS TABITHA'S BACK SHE GAVE ME THIS CANDY BAR SO I WOULDN'T TELL YOU THAT SHE BROUGHT THE BROTHERHOOD AND ARE CURRENTLY IN THE HANGER STEALING THE JET!" Jamie ran up to the adults.

"Your problem." Logan walked off.

"Your problem." Xavier told a very confused Ororo who had just walked up.

"I'll handle it." Hank sighed and walked off to the hanger.

--------------------

**X-House, with the Brotherhood and Tabitha**

"Hurry, I'm sure they know where here." Tabitha rushed the group into the jet.

"This reminds me of when I tried to join the X-men." Lance groaned.

"Why?" Wanda asked.

'Bad driver driving the jet.' Lance thought be fore answering out loud, "A bunch of the little geeks stole the jet."

"I AM NOT A LITTLE GEEK!" Wanda snapped.

"I meant the stealing part." Lance whimpered.

"Uh think we'll get in trouble for stealing that car?" Pietro asked, referring to the stolen car they had driven in to get to the mansion.

"No why?" Tabitha asked.

"Nothing thought I heard sirens." Pietro shrugged.

"We are in a sound proof hanger. What could you possibly hear." Tabitha asked as the door let out a siren sound when it opened, "Only the doors could make a siren sound. And I don't hear them."

"Tabitha?" Hank sighed from behind her, "Hasn't Logan taught you to be aware of your surroundings?

"WHOA! COOKIE MONSTER GET IT AWAY!" Tabitha hid behind a barrel of jet fuel.

"Tabitha, Xavier solved this in your sessions, I am not the Cookie Monster, I am not going to eat you and I DO NOT WORK FOR YOUR DAD!" Hank finished in a yell.

"Do we want to know." Lance asked.

"Long story. Short version, all of Tabitha's problems with her dad can be traced to the Cookie Monster." Hank sighed.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO DOCTOR PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY?" Tabitha yelled.

"That one time I got sick and you tried to poison me with cookies while pretending to be a nurse." Hank sighed, "I still can't eat cookies from fear."

"And I thought we were messed up." Wanda blinked, "Tabitha maybe you should sit this one out."

"NO I WANT TO SEE MY FREDDY!" Tabitha screamed.

"Okay." Lance nodded while slowly backing away into the jet.

"STOP RIGHT THERE! I CAN NOT LET YOU COMMIT GRAND THEFT AUTO WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION!" Hank shouted.

"Good, we are committing grand theft jet." Lance said before Hank jumped into the jet.

"I need to get out of the house, Kitty want's to dye me pink. Again." Hank sighed.

"Again." Pietro blinked, "Is there something you want to tell us and does it involve a closet?"

"Said the pot to the kettle." Hank muttered, "Wait that came out wrong."

"Kinda, Hanky-poo." Tabitha rubbed Hank's arm hair the wrong way.

"HEY DON'T RUB MY HAIR THAT WAY IT GETS TANGLED!" Hank grabbed his trusty pocket comb and started grooming himself.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Mom, dad, rabbi ..." Forge began, "Wait, since when have my parent's been Jewish?"

"This is the ghost?" The rabbi blinked, "He's not a ghost, he is obviously a teenage genius who has been stuck in a not-so-parallel universe where he didn't age."

"Thank you." Forge sighed, "How'd you know?"

"God told me." The rabbi smiled.

"Oh right, I might want to convert." Forge nodded.

"That and your parents explained your story on the phone, and I called that bald mutant and he told me it was true." The rabbi shrugged.

"Never mind." Forge sighed.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"On the road again ..." Todd hummed.

"WE ALREADY SANG THIS SONG!" Arcade snapped, "I'll start a song."

"Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while. And harken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle." Arcade began to sing.

"Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone. An lift our voices in another Irish drinking song." Good Fred added in his voice.

"Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox

Me brother drank the whiskey 'til he wound up in a box

Me other brother in the Troubles met with his demise

Me sister has forever closed her smilin' Irish eyes" Arcade sang alone, being the only one with enough time on his hands to learn all the words, the other two spent more time eating and chasing Wanda.

"Hey, Arcade why did we leave the post office, didn't you tell Lance we were there?" Good Fred interrupted the song.

"Ken was killed in Kilkenny and Claire, she died in Clare." Arcade continued to sing but did an about face.

--------------------

**X-Jet, 11 miles above the ground moving at mach 2.**

"WHEE!" Wanda laughed as she flow the jet in an erratic fashion.

"At least we will have lots of time to contemplate our deaths when we start to fall." Lance sighed before losing more food.

"Not really." Tabitha said, "If she flies straight at the ground then we won't have that much time."

"Oh my -" Hank ran to the bathroom which emptied the vomit into the air where it fell and hit a poor lady on the head scaring her, which caused her hidden mutant powers to emerge which turned her into a she-cookie monster.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Die master." The cyborg teddy bear pushed a bowling ball of the top of the stairs above Forge who through dumb luck managed to avoid it by dropping a large amount of explosive chemicals and knocking himself out of the way because of the blast.

--------------------

**Arizona, Post office.**

"This is boring." Todd moaned as the twelfth old lady ran by.

SNORE Good Fred snored.

"If it wasn't for Wanda I might leave this group." Arcade sighed.

"YO! ARE YOU MOVING IN ON MY WOMAN!" Todd yelled in Arcade's face.

"YES I AM!" Arcade pounded his chest in challenge.

"BRING IT GEEK! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR A HOMO SUPERIOR LIKE ME!" Todd bounced up and down some.

"I HAVE BRAINS AND YOU HAVE NOTHING! NOT EVEN BRAWN!" Arcade shoved Todd over.

"I GOT SLIME!" Todd spit out some slime with enough accuracy to make Wanda proud. That is to say he missed and hit a postal worker, assault of a government employee is a federal crime.

"AHH! CALL DHS WE GOT MUTANTS!" The postal worker screamed.

"WHAT CAN DHS DO THEY ARE PATHETIC DID YOU SEE HOW THEY HANDLED KATRINA!" Another one screamed.

"That was FEMA." The first one pointed out calmer.

"FEMA is now part of DHS." The second pointed out.

"Yeah but they are still separate in some ways. Like that was all FEMA's fault DHS can't mess anything up, they do nothing." The one who had been slimmed said.

"Then why do you want their help?" The second asked.

"Right, call the Local Authority on Such Things." The first sighed

"Who would that be?" The second asked.

"I don't know look in the phone book." The first tossed the second a phone book.

"Would it be under authority or local?" Postal Worker #2 asked.

"Try local." Number 1 replied watching the two mutants fight for Wanda's honor, actually for her hand in marriage but honor sounds more respectable.

"Here it is - wow ironic it is local authority on such things - '13 The LAST Arizona Office, call for all magical, paranormal - that's kinda redundant, magic and paranormal, just say paranormal - and mutant problems. We are not a bunch of loons, we are a sanctioned USA federal government agency. We are not secret, it is just that no one believes anyone who has to call us.'" #2 read off the blurb.

"Isn't star number usually reserved for those service code thingies?" #1 asked.

"Well they ran out of something one one numbers." #2 shrugged as he dialed.

"Hello, LAST Arizona offices, Fred speaking." Fred read off to the postal worker.

"Hi, I am a postal worker-" #2 began.

"You're crazy?" Fred asked.

"No I am a mail man." #2 sighed.

"Oh right, please state the nature of your problem so that I may forward it to my superior officer George." Fred continued the standard dialog he learned in basic training.

"Mutants and humans are fighting." #2 said.

"How many?" Fred asked.

"One." #2 replied.

"One mutant or one human?" Fred asked.

"One of each." #2 said.

"Okay, please hold while I get George out of his office, I wonder why he wanted privacy with his secretary-"

"AHH YOU PERVE!" a woman's scream interrupted Fred.

"- and now I know." Fred sighed while searching for a rusty plastic spork to dig his eyes out with (A/N: 3).

"And knowing is half the battle." #2 said.

"Not in this case." Fred sighed, "I'll just go ahead and send the Omega team to you."

"Omega team?" #2 asked.

"Six people work in each office." Fred explained, "Me the communications officer, George the Director, and two teams of two agents, Alpha and Omega."

"Right so Omega is the best?" #2 asked.

"No Alpha is the best." Fred said.

"YOU ARE SENDING ME SECOND RATE AGENTS TO DEFEND US FROM RAMPAGING MUTANTS?" #2 screamed.

"Pretty much, standard policy, send Omega first to weaken them and after they die send in Alpha." Fred sighed into the phone, "Good bye."

Throughout the entire conversation #1 and Good Fred just watched. "Creepy." Good Fred said.

"What is creepy." #1 asked.

"I've dealt with LAST before, in New York, they were pretty pathetic." Good Fred shrugged.

--------------------

**Arizona LAST HQ.**

"THIS IS NOT A DRILL ASSEMBLE ALL TROOPS IN HANGER AB3HD SUBSECTION 999!" Lyle Valery yelled into his walkie talkie.

"We aren't in a military base." AI-42, an android, sighed at his partner who was slightly crazy from his 35 year stint in partial suspended animation. Partial suspended animation is where your body does not age but your mind does. And being trapped without the ability to breathe or eat causes lots of pain and physiological scaring.

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ORDERS SOLIDER? IN 'NAM WE WOULD CUT OFF YOUR HEAD FOR THAT!" Lyle screamed.

"In Vietnam I would receive a dishonorable discharge, not death." 42 stated.

"LISTEN YOU RUSTED PILE OF CYBERNETICS -" Lyle began.

"I AM AN ANDROID NOT A CYBORG I HAVE NO CYBERNETICS ONLY LIVING ORGANISM CAN HAVE CYBERNETICS LIKE THE BIOMECHS!" 42 yelled.

"LISTEN DEMON TOASTER -" Lyle raised his adamantium coated hands which he received while in suspended animation in an attempt to make a mutant hunter, without relying on mutants. Of course it was a very thin coat and practically useless since it only was as useful as his punches and only prevented cuts and not broken bones.

"Take that." 42 punched Lyle in the face.

"WHY YOU DESPICABLE -"

"42! LYLE! STOP NOW!" Oompa, a member of Alpha team and a Oompa Loompa who hates chocolate and defected from Willy Wonka's communist factory/army base, entered the room and saw the two newer members fighting. (A/N: 4)

"HE STARTED IT!" 42 pointed at Lyle.

"Why did I let that Forge guy talk me into installing emotions." Oompa moaned.

"DID NOT!" Lyle yelled.

"YOU WERE THINKING YOU WERE IN VIETNAM AGAIN!" 42 yelled.

"POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME!" Lyle defended.

"YOU WERE NEVER IN ANY WAR!" 42 yelled.

"SO I WAS PART OF A SUPER SOLIDER PROGRAM RUN BY A ROGUE GOVERNMENT AGENCY!" Lyle yelled back.

"God I hope this call wasn't important." Loompa walked in, another Oompa Loompa on the Alpha team.

--------------------

**X-Jet**

"Why oh why did I come, I could have been a good walking rug and let you steal the jet but no." Hank sighed as Wanda lowered the passenger's life expectancies by several years.

"You were tired of the New mutants?" Tabitha answered the rhetorical question.

"That's it, to bad one is here." Hank sighed, "I see why Xavier drinks."

"I hate flying." Lance moaned as the jet completed five barrel rolls and did a good rendition of Top Gun's scene where Tom Cruise ejects.

"CAN I FLY NOW? I WANT TO SEE HOW HIGH WE CAN GO!" Pietro was enjoying the extreme moves.

"Insanity runs in there family." Hank moaned.

"I don't think that is true." Lance defended the Maximoffs.

"A dad who wants to take over the world." Tabitha pointed out, "A self loving obsessive compulsive psychopath."

"True." Lance admitted.

"And Wanda ..." Tabitha didn't know what to list first.

"FINE! POINT MADE!" Lance snapped before going to the bathroom again.

--------------------

**Arizona, Post Office**

"Some one call for a ..." Lyle burst in but was unable to come up with a movie line to steal.

"Mediator?" 42 offered.

"To complex, it needs to be simple to the point, and show that we use big shiny guns with little to no safety features." Lyle thought.

"Just say 'Someone call for the LAST agents?'" 42 offered.

"What he said." Lyle turned back to the room where Todd and Arcade where fighting with pens, #2 was panicking, and #1 and Good Fred where trying to cook with a photocopier's light bulb.

"I WILL HAVE WANDA!" Todd jumped at Arcade.

"SHE HATES YOUR GUTS! SHE SHALL BE MINE!" Arcade bit Todd contracting a rare deadly disease, that due to too much radiation from the computer was unable to attack Arcade's super immune system and wasn't so deadly.

"HE BIT ME!" Todd jumped up and pointed at Arcade who was in the process of blowing his chunks.

"He is an idiot then. Remember the last guy to bite you?" Good Fred asked.

"He lived." Todd said with shifty eyes.

"He was in intensive care for a year." Good Fred pointed out.

"THE BROTHERHOOD IS IN THE POST OFFICE!" Pietro sped inside the Post Office.

"MORE MUTANTS!" #2 screamed.

"I was the one who got slimmed I should be the one panicking." #1 muttered.

"Where's the bathroom." Lance moaned as he walked in.

"How'd you get here so fast?" Good Fred asked while the other two rolled around in the background scarring Smith and Blank who were still on Arcade's shoes.

"We flew." Tabitha said, "Then we parachuted down, I hope Professor Baldy can buy a new jet."

"Fun fun fun." Wanda giggled, "KILL HIM ARCADE POUND THAT SLIMY SLUG INTO THE GROUND!" she cheered when she saw the fight.

"MY LOVE DON'T DESERT ME!" Todd screamed as Arcade tried to commit murder.

"WANDA WILL BE MINE!" Arcade shouted.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Wanda went outside and produced unhealthy sounding noises.

"What? WANDA LEFT ME!" Arcade screamed with Todd.

"Notice how Arcade is slowly losing sanity?" Lance asked Pietro.

"It hasn't been that slow. Only a week at most." Pietro shrugged.

"This is why I left therapy early?" Lyle snarled, "WHY DID YOU CALL US! STAR THIRTEEN IS ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES!" Lyle yelled at the postal workers.

"Not again." 42 produced an artificial sigh from beneath his human like mask.

"I DID I HAVE COOKED FOOD WITH A PHOTOCOPIER!" Good Fred shouted holding up a fried chicken and several hundred sheets showing various stages of the cooking process.

"And you destroyed the rain forest." Hank sighed.

"Uh, Hank, why are you here? I understand the other's rescuing us but you?" Arcade asked having stopped crying on Todd's shoulder.

"I HAD TO GET AWAY FROM THE X-MEN THEY ARE CRAZY! WOLVERINE WANTS ME TO TEACH DR SESSIONS WITH HIM! THAT METAL MAN HAS TAKEN THE LAST QUIET SPOT IN THE HOUSE! ORORO AND I BROKE UP AND XAVIER IS BECOMING AN ALCOHOLIC!" Hank screamed before collapsing into twitches.

"I thought I was messed up." Lyle muttered.

"You are." 42 sighed.

"DEMS FIGHT WORDS!" Lyle launched himself at 42 while Todd and Arcade returned to their fight.

"Man this is messed up." Tabitha sighed, "Who wants to go eat?"

"AYE!" The Postal workers, Good Fred, Pietro, Wanda, and Lance replied while they walked out with Tabitha.

--------------------

**Restaurant, Arizona**

"Shouldn't you guys be at work?" Lance asked the two postal workers as he downed his twelfth salad.

"Who cares, you can only get fired if you kill someone." #2 shrugged.

"Can you at least tell us your names?" Wanda asked while she dissected her cow.

"I'm Stamp." #1 said.

"I'm Envelope." #2 said.

"Working in the Postal system runs in our family." Stamp shrugged.

"Our mom left our dad because he was to obsessed with it." Envelope added.

"Which was shortly after he named us." Stamp murmured.

"Ohh-kay." Tabitha blinked twice, "Pass the bread."

"Here." Lance mumbled as he handed over the bread and started his 20th salads, "Salads taste awful and aren't very filling."

"Then why are eating them?" Wanda asked as she butchered 12 chickens.

"Kitty -" Lance began.

"SHUT UP!" Wanda covered her ears, "If an explanation starts with kitty it is bad."

--------------------

**Post Office**

"Where did everyone go?" 42 asked the exhausted group.

"Out. Door. Eat." Lyle gasped as he stitched his own wounds with his first aid kit.

"So many punches." Todd was leaned against a wall.

"The smell, the slime." Arcade was frozen in one spot covering his eyes and nose.

"THOSE X-GEEKS!" Hank shouted with a twitch.

"Okay we were called here to stop the mutants from destroying the post office right?" Lyle asked after he got his breath.

"Affirmative." 42 replied.

"That has been a success." Lyle smiled as he survived the damage, "We'll just say it was a freak tornado."

"Okay, should we help these people?" 42 asked.

"Why?" Lyle looked at the two mutants and human.

"We are suppose to help." 42 attempted to shrugged which didn't work to well with his android shoulders.

--------------------

**Restaurant**

"Psst Lance meet me in the women's bathroom in five minutes." A waitress hissed to Lance as she walked by.

'Who was that?' Lance asked himself, 'Better go meet that stranger in a private place where no one can hear me scream.'

"Guys, I'll be back." Lance walked off to the girl's bathroom.

"The guy's bathroom is on the other side of the restaurant." Stamp said after a few minutes.

"It's Lance we don't want to know what he smokes on his little 'alone time sessions.'" Tabitha shrugged.

"He was like that before I came?" Wanda asked.

"Oh yeah." Tabitha nodded.

--------------------

**Bathroom**

"Hello scary stranger you wanted to meet me in a sound proof room where no one can see me?" Lance asked.

"Here." Mystique threw open a stall.

"Kinky." Lance blinked.

"SHUT UP IDIOT!" Mystique smacked Lance over the head, "I am attempting to remake contact with the Brotherhood but I can't let my step child see me."

"Step child?" Lance blinked.

"Wanda. Me and Erikky poo married." Mystique sighed with a smile.

"Bad image." Lance whimpered.

"Listen closely, I want you to recruit John. He never worked for money, he worked for food." Mystique said, "While he hates mine and my husband's guts I want you to change him so that he is one hundred percent loyal to me."

"Uh why?" Lance asked.

"SO WE HAVE SOLIDER FOR WHEN THE TIME COMES TO RULE THE WORLD!" Mystique laughed hysterically.

"Uh right, I have no clue where John is." Lance shrugged.

"Destiny has told me that your paths will cross soon." Mystique said, "Do not fail me, I will watch you closely, as much as I would hate to use the same idea twice. But no Magnuty insists that as long as I don't befriend my daughter the idea will work. Maybe I can befriend my son this time around?"

"Okay, note to self avoid new students." Lance muttered, "Especially Gothic British chicks with beautiful hair and the cutest ..."

"I'm gonna be sick." Mystique proceeded to do so in the toilet, "GET OUT THERE NOW!"

--------------------

**Post office**

"You see, your insecurities with women is a result of ..." Lyle the Loon attempted to help another loon.

"I'll see if I can get some scientist to make some soap for you that doesn't burn and doesn't give you a glowing neon pink rash." 42 tried to help Todd with his hygiene, "By the way, why don't your friends know about this rash problem."

"It only occurs in sensitive spots." Todd whispered.

"Why isn't anyone helping me?" Hank asked.

"Basic training didn't cover how to help you." Lyle shrugged.

"Neither did advanced training." 42 shrugged.

"Perfectionist, advanced training is useless." Lyle scoffed at 42 for wasting time going through non required training, "All you need to know is how to use a gun, point and click."

"Really? How about how to disarm a nuclear bomb?" 42 asked.

"They covered that on day one of basic, always have since that roach thing." Lyle pointed out, "You went through basics before they started teaching it."

"I feel better now." Arcade stood up.

"Really I actually helped someone?" Lyle blinked in surprise.

"No, I just realized you are more messed up than me." Arcade shrugged.

"Either way you owe me $100 dollars for this session." Lyle said.

"Here." Arcade handed him some monopoly money which had fallen out of a broken box.

"Opening another's mail is a federal crime." Lyle said as he pocketed the money.

"I have broken enough laws recently that I no longer care. In fact recent experiences allow me to see beyond simple right and wrong. They allow me to see sorta-wrong and sorta-right." Arcade said.

"Deep man." Todd patted him on the back.

"Sorry Toad for moving in on your girl didn't know what came over me, you can have her I don't want some one who would castrate me." Arcade said.

"Good we fixed everything but the walking blue rug." 42 said.

"That should be enough for a promotion." Lyle nodded.

"WHAA I WANT MY MOMMY!" Hank screamed.

"Should we help him?" 42 asked.

"I am already in therapy I don't need his problems." Lyle muttered.

"And I may be an emotional and psychologically stable android but I don't think I can handle that." 42 agreed.

"Stable. Right." Lyle laughed, "You haven't been stable since the military decided you were a failed experiment and kicked you out."

"I TOLD THEM I WAS THIS CLOSE TO KNOWING THE QUESTION!" 42 yelled.

"And what is it?" Lyle asked.

"Simple, it is -" 42 began while a large train collided with an equally large train on nearby tracks drowning out the question with the bang.

"That makes since, wow." Lyle blinked, "Should we help the trains?"

"Not our jurisdiction." 42 shrugged.

--------------------

**Restaurant**

"Hey we should head back to Bayville." Lance finally came out of the bathroom and walked up to the table.

HIC "Fifty some bottles -" Hic Stamp sang out of tune with Envelope.

"How long have they been drunk?" Lance asked a sober Brotherhood.

"Five minutes after you went in there." Pietro shrugged.

"Let's leave them with the bill." Wanda said as they stood up.

"Okay, let me get a to go order." Good Fred went up to the counter.

--------------------

**Post office**

"I'm fine now thanks for asking." Hank said to the seated crowd which was watching the News.

"And in other news Senator Kelly is down to a 25 approval rating." Trish read a card.

"HA TAKE THAT YOU RACIST! I'M NOT EVEN A MUTANT AND YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" Lyle started yelling at the TV.

"Lyle," 42 sighed, "That was a dream."

"Oh right." Lyle muttered sheepishly, "But still if he saw my hands he would try."

"True." 42 nodded.

"Hands?" Hank asked.

"These." Lyle showed him his metal covered hands, "Not really useful as they don't do much for broken bones, only keep the skin from breaking. And prevent me from getting bones reset after they are broken."

"That's weird." Hank blinked.

"Shiny..." Todd's eyes went wide.

"Those look just like that one sci fi movie, People with Metal Hands from Mars." Arcade said.

"Okay, stop watching B movies kid." Lyle put a pair of gloves on.

"Hey guys." Lance walked in with the others, save the postal workers.

"WHERE'D YOU GO!" Hank snapped.

"Relax, we just ate, now we should head home." Wanda sighed.

"We will use a real plane this time, the X-jet is gone." Hank sighed, "Baldy will be angry."

"No worries, Ororo gave me Baldy's credit card when she kicked me out this morning I can buy eight plane tickets." Tabitha held up a credit card made out to a, Chuck Baldy Xavier.

"No wonder he goes by Xavier." Pietro laughed.

"Well we need to report into base anyway, and I want to watch my soaps." 42 shrugged.

"Where are the postal workers?" Lyle asked.

"There." Todd pointed at the TV which was reporting of a restaurant that had been wrecked by two drunk postal, in both senses of the word, workers who had refused to pay the bill.

"Not our problem." 42 said.

"Right."

--------------------

**Airport**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL FLIGHTS ARE CANCELED?" Tabitha shouted at the ticket counter, "WHO CARES IF A MYSTERIOUS PLANE CRASHED OUTSIDE THE CITY!"

"Sorry guys." Tabitha walked over to the group who had stayed far away, "Looks like we'll have to spend the night until they start flying again."

"Goody, you guys can give the X-Holes a run for their money." Hank sighed.

"That's a good one." Pietro congratulated Hank, "X-holes, haven't heard that. Fits in, now we have X-Jerk, X-Wad, X-Noob, X-Geek, X-Dewb, X-Loser ..."

"Okay, Hank never get Pietro started on insults." Wanda blinked as her brother slowly speed up in listing insults.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"AHH BAD TEDDY BAD BAD!" Forge ran from his Teddy, who had dropped all subtleties, while his parents spoke with the Zack from the LAST.

"So, you are the Local Authority on Such Things, Omega team? Is that good?" Mrs. Forge asked.

"No not really, Alpha is the best." Zack shrugged, "But I can assure you that Forge is not a ghost haunting you for your past sins of doing drugs while pregnant with him. Though that explains why he is messed up.

"GET HIM TEDDY!" The dust bunny cheered.

--------------------

**Arizona LAST HQ**

"YOU HAD A SIMPLE TASK BREAK UP A MUTANT HUMAN FIGHT! AND YOU GOT TWO POSTAL WORKERS DRUNK AND ARRESTED DESTROYED THE POST OFFICE AND NOW REQUIRE COUNSELING?" Fred screamed at the two Omega agents.

"Technically they didn't have that task." George said with a smile, "Only I can approve assignments and you never got my approval so they can't be punished."

"I think George is ticked that Fred walked in on him." Lyle muttered to 42.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"Some day I shall rule the world." Jamie #3 smiled evilly as his 'loyal' (read: enslaved) subjects brought forward the a stone with an anvil on top, and through the anvil was thrust a sword, Caledfwlch, also called Excalibur.

"Oh great ruler," Good Fred's 9000th cousin nine times removed, Sir Tor started a tale.

Unlike the rest of Good Fred's family Tor is not fat. In fact his buff. With arms the size of tree trunks (not literally). Basically his is a steroid munching blacksmith with split personalities, five of them. The only thing he shares with Good Fred is his appetite, and his mutant invulnerability/unmovable.

"DICTATOR!" Sir Bors yelled, one of Tor's personalities, the political one.

"HE IS THE TRUE RULER IF HE PULLS THE SWORD!" Sir Erec yelled back, the loyal personality.

"WE NEED NO RULER ANARCHY NOW!" Sir Ector, the anarchist screamed.

"How cares, I need a hit." Sir Kay, the reason all five are going to die young, snapped

"After Arthur died his sword given to him by the lady in the lake was placed in the stone for safe keeping till his heir could remove said sword." Tor continued ignoring the occasional fighting.

"Shut up and let me pull it." Jamie #3 snapped and pulled the sword out.

"All hail the king! Short live the king." The people chanted.

--------------------

_End_

_Author Notes:_

_1: What I can't use brand names that would be in fragment, ignore logic please it makes no sense so what if this is Fan fiction and is in fragment by definition? C&C makes several color candies, Red, Pink, Green, Yellow, Blue, Purple, Orange, Tie Dyed, and Puke color._

_2: I really know someone who did, it was a dare on a band trip after winning 1st place overall. Needless to say it was funny. Better to throw it up than as the Janitor said, 'your s$ will be on fire tonight.'_

_3: Line stolen/modified from a friend._

_4: Think about it, no Oompa Loompa can leave the factory they don't work for money, they work for food and a place to sleep meaning that even if they could leave they can't save up money to leave with. And all their resources are handled by a central government-like figure._

_PLEASE review._

_Send in Ideas I have up to chapter 44 planned (Various other spread throughout the year about 117 chapters planned in total, some most might be cut out though) 365 days in a year, 365 chapters._


	11. Sept 4, Labor Day

_Disclaimer: Firecrackers hurt, so do lawsuits._

_**September 4 - Monday - Labor Day**_

--------------------

**X-Mansion Breakfast**

"Where is Tabitha?" Storm asked.

"You kicked her out remember?" Logan grunted.

"Right, I only kicked her out for a day." Ororo pointed out.

"Then she came back with the Brotherhood." Logan continued.

"That is trouble, is that what Hank handled yesterday." Ororo said, "Where's Hank, not that I care, THAT JERK FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY!"

"That explains the breakup." Xavier sighed rubbing his temples, "Hank was kidnapped by the Brotherhood and Tabitha, they stole the X-Jet and flew off to parts unknown, and I sense a reduction in my Bank account."

"You can sense all that?" Ororo blinked.

"No I checked my account yesterday, someone bought eight plane tickets from Arizona to Bayville, and I wanted to take the X-jet for a joy ride this morning. Hank usually goes with me but both were missing." Xavier shrugged and rolled over to his breakfast.

--------------------

**Arizona**

"Finally." Tabitha grumbled as the group herded themselves onto the plane after spending the night in the terminal.

"FREE PEANUTS!" Good Fred cooed as he exceeded the safe weight limit.

"FIRST CLASS BABY!" Todd laughed.

"Hey babe," Pietro of course was hitting on the married stewardess, "How about you give me a tour of the restrooms."

"Sorry, I'm not a pedophile." The woman groaned and tried to get away from Pietro.

"I'm willing." Pietro smiled.

"She isn't." Wanda grabbed his ear and pulled him to a seat by the emergency exit and began to talk about what would happen if someone got pushed out. Needless to say that Pietro wet his pants.

"Oh and this one is of Kitty and me on our ninth date." Lance was showing off pictures of him and Kitty to a bald biker. Not the best idea.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" Hank asked.

"DIE MUTIE FREAK!" A card carrying white hood wearing member of the FOH, Friends of Humanity, shouted.

"DIE HUMAN!" A card carrying cross burning member of the FOH, Foes of Humanity, shouted.

"Oh joy, a political debate." Hank moaned as the two FOH began to get into a slap fight resulting in both being kicked off the plane, luckily (or unluckily) they hadn't taken off yet.

"I hate how you have to wait an hour to get in the air." Lance sighed. (A/N: 1)

"Lets mambo." Tabitha squealed and shot up grabbing a white collared worker who was flying off on a 'business' trip to see his Mistress.

"LET GO! YOU #ING &#)." He shouted.

"That wasn't very nice." Hank stood up to defend his psychotic student's honor.

"Yeah, chill man." Tabitha said forming a time bomb in her mouth which she transferred to his with a kiss.

BOOM "MEYG! MEEMPHT!" The man grabbed his mouth and spat out all his teeth.

"Tabitha." Hank sighed handing the man the money he had won from Logan in a drinking game.

"HANK YOU HAD MONEY AND MADE ME PAY FOR THE TICKS?" Tabitha shouted.

"You used Xavier's money." Hank pointed out.

"Oh right, that's okay then. That who Robin Hood philosophy." Tabitha nodded.

"From which we take our name, the Hood." Todd nodded, "I thought it up, much better than blue mom's name, 'EVIL PSYCHOTIC DELINQUENTS WHO WILL HELP MAGNUTTY RULE THE WORLD AND THEN WILL HELP ME OVER THROW HIM!' Didn't really roll of the tongue like Brotherhood."

"Ohh-kay?" Hank blinked, "I think Brotherhood is a better name to."

--------------------

**3 hours later in the Air.**

"This is your pilot speaking." Pietro crackled into the intercom, "I'm not wearing any clothes. So if any ladies want a flying lesson I would be happy to-"

"GET OUT YOU NUDIST!" The captain tossed Pietro out and locked the door, inadvertently leaving Pietro's clothes inside.

"Hey no free shows." Pietro taunted the terrified passengers and stole some clothes from a bag and dressed at super speed.

"God help me." Wanda sighed.

"Hey Wanda something has always bothered me, if you are Jewish why do you wear a cross?" Hank asked trying to get his mind off of the craziness associated with mutant teenagers.

"Well -" Wanda began only to be interrupted by Pietro forcing Tabitha to tango.

"How did a bunch of mutants get on a plane?" Hank groaned as Tabitha used a bomb to cool Pietro;s hormones, and cause the magic yellow masks to fall.

"Well after the tax cuts and the attempt to increase security and bankruptcy, not much money left for competent security guards." A Steward walked by helping people with their masks.

"Joy." Hank mumbled through the mask and the fur. The rest of the ride went by relatively painlessly mainly because anyone who tried to cause trouble passed out due to oxygen deprivation, luckily it was almost time to land.

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"WE'RE BACK!" Tabitha burst through the doors.

"Hello Hank." Scott greeted his teacher like a good suck up.

"SAVE ME I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THE X-MEN THE BROTHERHOOD IS SANER!" Hank screamed as the Brotherhood dragged him in.

"I'll get Dr. Jack Daniels to help." Logan sighed as his poker buddy pulled his fur out.

"Tabitha, Brotherhood." Xavier rolled out of the elevator, "Perhaps you should head to school, you wouldn't want to miss third period."

"Uh, no we wouldn't want to skip school." Lance blinked, "Come on guys let's go home."

"LANCE ALVERS YOU WILL BE A GOOD MUTANT TERRORIST AND GO TO SCHOOL!" Ororo shouted in mother mode.

"And if I don't?" Lance asked.

"Ever seen a toad get hit by lightning? Do you know what happens? The toad dies." Ororo said as the sky outside grew cloudy.

"Right, Toad run and hide." Lance nudged Todd out of the room.

"AH NOT AGAIN!" Todd ran.

"LANCE YOU ARE THE TOAD TODAY!" Ororo snapped.

"Yes ma'ma." Lance said, "Come on guys off to school."

"Can you make us lunch first?" Good Fred asked.

"Of course dear." Ororo smiled still in mother mode.

"Sucker." Pietro grinned as Todd finished his second lap of the house and Hank sank into another bout of depression.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Piotr walked out of the last quiet spot in the house, the storage closet, and saw Lance.

"AH DON'T KILL ME!" Lance shouted remembering the day in the forest.

"I can not kill a crazy person." Piotr replied.

"Okay, Pietro and Wanda are safe what about me?" Lance demanded.

"You carried out a conversation with a squirrel." Piotr sighed returning to his paint studio/storage room.

"What?" Wanda demanded a vein showing in her forehead.

"Mommy." Lance whimpered as Wanda got closer, the only reply was Ororo's singing as she cooked and shoved her maternal instincts onto Good Fred because she had no children of her own and Evan ran off. After several boo boos lunches and threats the Brotherhood finally dragged themselves into fourth period.

--------------------

**School, English II with Good Fred, Todd, and Rogue, Coach Coon's class.**

"YO, WAZZUP, TOAD IS IN THE SC'IZZLE!" Todd burst through the door ruining the teacher attempt to teach the students about Shakespeare. "Wait why do we have school on Labor day?"

"Because stupid tourist shop owners on the coast were tired of their low payed workers going back to school." Rogue sighed, "As such the entire state screwed the schedule."

"Right." Todd nodded and grabbed his book, "LOOK IT'S THAT ONE FAMOUS DEAD GUY!"

"Help me." Rogue sighed when she saw Good Fred go inside, "Don't you guys skip Mondays?"

"Yeah, but Storm is a -" Todd began

"MR. TOLENSKY! LANGUAGE!" Coach Coon shouted.

"What, it's English class I'm speaking English." Todd blinked.

"I liked it better when you weren't here." The teacher sighed as he wrote the Brotherhood members and Rogue up for detention.

--------------------

**English III with Wanda, Mrs. Mandy's class**

"Why are we here on Labor day?" Wanda asked.

"Because the school board hates teachers." Mrs. Mandy shrugged.

"Okay." Wanda blinked, "Shouldn't we be doing something."

"I am trying an alternate method of teaching, meditation." The teacher sat in a cross legged position, "Imagine a sentence, each word flowing into the next none having much meaning beyond what their definitions are. Imagine the messages they convey together ..."

"ZZZ" Half the class snored.

--------------------

**AP History, with Kitty and Lance, Mr. Freeman' class.**

"LANCE GET OUT OF MY FACE!" Kitty shouted at Lance who gotten on his knees.

"Please Kitty forgive me." Lance begged, "I bought you this necklace to make up for it." Lance held up the necklace he had bought back at the Flea market.

"LANCE MY MOM JUST HAD THIS NECKLACE STOLEN FROM HER! HOW COULD YOU!" Kitty slapped him hard, three times.

"I hate life." Lance moaned.

"That class is a classic example of the cause of many struggles in human history." The teacher said.

"What an idiot?" A student asked.

"Basically." The teacher nodded and wrote the two mutants up for disruption of class.

--------------------

**Home Ec. Class with Pietro, Mrs. Cline's Class**

"Mrs. Cline." Pietro greeted the teacher, "So glad they let you out of the ward."

"AH ANOTHER MUTANT GET HIM AWAY! HE LIVES WITH THE LARD BUTT!" Mrs. Cline jumped back seeing Pietro.

"MR MAXIMOFF!" Principal B walked in, "Detention for terrorizing the teacher, again."

--------------------

**Computer Class with Arcade, Mr. Borg's Class.**

"WHY ARE WE HAVING SCHOOL ON LABOR DAY?" Arcade screamed in the middle of class.

"That is the first time that that boy has every yelled." Mr. Borg blinked, "The court case must have been really traumatic. Mr. Torque, detention for that outburst."

'Soon We will assimilate them all into the collective.' Mr. Borg added in their minds.

"Has anyone ever told you look like that bald crippled mutant?" Arcade asked.

"We are Locutus Borg, not a mutant." Mr. Borg said.

"Right." Arcade blinked.

--------------------

**Detention, Duncan, Rogue, Good Fred, Todd, Kitty, Lance, Pietro, and Arcade.**

"WOOT I GOT THIS COOL SPECIAL INVITE!" Duncan ran in holding his detention slip, "For bad behavior... Bad as in cool right?"

"God help me, Kitty, the hood, and Duncan." Rogue groaned.

"What's like wrong roomy?" Kitty giggled.

"LIKE WHY DO I HAVE LIKE TO DO DETENTION! IF I LIKE HEAR 'LIKE' LIKE ONE MORE TIME I'LL LIKE KILL SOMEONE LIKE DEAD!" Mr. Halif screamed as Principal B shoved him through the door.

"We're gonna lose another teacher soon I can feel it." Principal B sighed.

"Good morning trouble makers shut up and sit there." Mr. Halif turned to the group, "Lance I thought you were a good kid why are you here?"

"I-" Lance began.

"I know, THE MAN IS TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN! LIKE DOWN WITH THE MAN!" Mr. Halif began to bang on the walls, "I WON'T GO QUIETLY! DOWN WITH THE ALIENS! ANARCHY NOW!"

"Okay, who wants to skip detention?" Pietro asked which the rest answered with raised hands.

"Hey mister Halif, you should let us out early to fight the man." Kitty told the crazed teacher.

"Okay. Bye." Mr. Halif shoved the group of of the room and began to plot to overthrow the new world order.

--------------------

**Bayville with Wanda, during Detention.**

"I can't believe they all got detention." Wanda muttered, "Wait, yes I can."

"Want to buy some nice hexes?" A witch asked Wanda from her door.

"Sure got anything that will kill a frog?" Wanda asked.

"Yup here." The woman handed Wanda a box.

"Thanks." Wanda took it.

"WANDA!" Lance ran up to her with the Brotherhood trailing behind them, "Let's get my jeep now."

"Hold on." Wanda tossed the contents of her box onto Todd.

"This smells nice." Todd sniffed it.

"YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!" Wanda snapped.

"Oh you wanted to kill a toad, not a frog." The woman blinked, "There is a big difference."

"There is?" The brotherhood save for Todd asked.

"Not really, but in this case yes." The woman shrugged.

"I HAVE NO MORE MONEY TO BUY ONE FOR A TOAD!" Wanda wept.

"There there Wanda. I'm sure Lance will let you drive the Jeep to make up for it." Good Fred attempted to comfort her, while terrorizing the others.

"Okay, let's get the Jeep." Wanda smiled.

"I wonder if immortality is a mutant power, considering how much I have survived." Arcade groaned.

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"STORM TELL ME WHERE MY JEEP IS!" Lance yelled.

"You buried in the park again." Storm sighed.

"Oh right. Come on guys back into the stolen car, so we can recovery my Jeep, and die when Wanda drives." Lance sighed.

"I sense trouble." Arcade moaned.

"Me too." Xavier sighed as two random New mutants got into a fight in the background.

--------------------

**Park**

"Where'd I bury it?" Lance asked no one in particular.

"Try that patch of dirk with no grass on it and a fault line running through it." Wanda pointed to where the Jeep was buried.

"Okay, everyone shovels out and start digging." Lance ordered.

"What shovels?" Arcade asked noticing a distinct lack of digging tools.

"The ones that Pietro is about to steal." Lance growled at Pietro.

"I don't follow your orders." Pietro yelled.

"You're right, who's our leader?" Lance blinked.

"Yo, I think it was Wanda last." Todd thought hard.

"You're only saying that cause you like her." Arcade pointed out.

"So, she's a babe, she should be the leader." Todd smiled at a green faced Scarlet Witch.

"I decline leadership." Wanda ran off to puke after tossing a hex at Todd.

"Okay before that it was Freddy, right?" Lance asked.

"At the carnival with the raffle?" Pietro asked.

"Yes."

"Then yes, it was Freddy."

"Okay, uh what do I do?" Good Fred asked.

"Order Pietro to steal shovels." Lance sighed.

"Okay. Pietro do what Lance said." Good Fred shrugged.

"Fine." Pietro huffed off at a normal speed.

"DO IT AT SUPER SPEED!" Good Fred yelled.

"FINE!" Pietro sped off into the sun something.

--------------------

**Park 5 seconds later.**

"There." Pietro stopped in front of a pie of shovels.

"Now did the jeep out." Good Fred ordered.

"I hate you." Pietro growled.

"I know."

--------------------

**Park 5 seconds later.**

"There." Pietro stopped in front of a nice hole around the jeep with a gentle ramp leading out.

"MY JEEP!" Lance cried when he saw that the jeep was banged up and rusted, which is amazing for how short of a time it was under.

"Stop crying it still runs." Wanda giggled from where she had climbed into the drivers seat.

"My baby. MY LAST TRUE LOVE FIRST! KITTY ABANDONED ME AND NOW THIS!" Lance collapsed.

"Not again." The Brotherhood sighed.

--------------------

**One hour later.**

"COME ON LANCE GET IN THE BLASTED JEEP!" Arcade and Todd struggled to pick up the empty shell of a man that was Lance.

"Okay I am tired of watching this." Good Fred sighed and picked up the body, placing Lance in the back, "Let's go eat."

"How unpredictable." Pietro snickered.

"You're cruising for a bruising." Good Fred picked up Pietro by the shirt with his arm raised up in a fist.

"I like predictability." Pietro whimpered.

--------------------

**Jeep, Blazing down the highway at 90 miles per hour.**

"Show me the way to go home." Good Fred sang.

"I'm tired and I want to go to bed." Todd sang.

"Bum bum bum bum." Good Fred sang.

"I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head." Wanda sang in the really high soprano range, which cracked an already cracked mirror.

"Where ever I may roam." Pietro sang.

"On land or sea or snow." They all sang.

"You'll always here me singing this song. Show me the way to go home." The group collapsed into laughter, Wanda swerving dangerously across the road.

"Save me." Lance moaned from the trunk.

"THIS IS THE POLICE! PULL OVER! WHY HAVEN'T YOU RUN OUT OF GAS YET?" A police helicopter blared over its speakers.

"THEY'RE AFTER US! PEDAL TO THE METAL!" Good Fred screamed.

"Aye aye capt'n." Wanda jammed the gas down.

"AH! HELP I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED!" Lance cried as he shifted to the back of the trunk when the Jeep hit 130 mph, "For once I want to see what happens if we drive the limit."

"CURB!" Arcade shouted pointing to said obstacle, to late to dodge it.

"Yep, I'm flyin' through the air, this is not good." Good Fred said calmly.

"Eep." Pietro and Lanced eeped.

"FUN!" Wanda yelled.

"I HATE YOU WANDA!" Lance yelled.

"I LOVE YOU WANDA!" Todd yelled.

"I HATE YOU TODD!" Wanda hexed Todd.

"NO HEXES IN THE CAR REMEMB-" Lance began when they hit the ground.

--------------------

**Random TV tuned to the news.**

"That had to hurt." Trish said.

--------------------

**Jeep**

"Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!" Lance ran around on fire.

"Slime is good for something." Todd slimmed his own fire out.

"Get off." Wanda ordered her fire, it obeyed.

"I am glad this one inch puddle of polluted water broke my fall." Arcade moaned before collapsing.

"Wow bouncing is fun." Good Fred blinked after he stopped bouncing from his blubber.

"Ow." Pietro moaned.

"Should we arrest them?" Grass a county cop asked his twin and partner, Weed.

"No they suffered enough." Weed groaned, "And that one stinks."

"AH! FIRE BURNS!" Lance ran past.

"STOP DROP AND ROLL!" Wanda shouted.

"Oh right." Lance stopped and counted to ten. Then he dropped and counted to ten. Then he rolled for ten counts. "That's better."

"Listen kids." Grass walked up to the beat up mutants, "First off how are you alive. Second off follow the speed limit. Third, your mom is gonna kill you for totaling that Jeep." Grass pointed at the smoking pile of scrape metal with four metal blobs of rubber.

"MY BABY!" Lance cried from his smoldering clothes.

"Well that was fun." Wanda said simply.

"MY JEEP!" Lance cried again.

"How are we getting home now?" Arcade asked.

"Hitching?" Good Fred suggested.

"Remember last time?" Todd whimpered.

"So, we lived." Good Fred shrugged.

"Says the man with invulnerable skin to the mortal." Arcade moaned.

--------------------

**Walking along the road, dragging Lance and part of the Jeep.**

"HEY STOP WE NEED A RIDE!" Todd jumped in front of a flamed patterned car.

"Howdy mates." A psychotic smile greeted them after the coming to a screeching halt.

"Don't you work for magneto?" Todd asked.

"Use to." St.John shrugged.

"Can you give us a lift?" Wanda asked.

"Sure where to?" St.John asked.

"Our house." Todd hopped into the back seat while Good Fred put Lance and part of the Jeep in the trunk.

"All aboard, train leaves in no time." John crackled, "Hey Wanda. How are you?"

"Good John." Wanda smiled.

"It's St.John." St.John corrected.

"Who cares?" Wanda snapped.

"The leprechaun." St.John laughed, "Though he only cares because he thinks I should drop the St. part."

"From one crazy driver to another." Good Fred whimpered as Pietro abandoned them to go to a date.

"MY LOVE!" Lance screamed.

"That rock head is one messed up matey." St.John blinked.

"MY LOVE MY LAST LOVE!"

"Did Kitty dump him again?" St.John asked.

"No his jeep wrecked somehow." Wanda shrugged.

"Somehow." Arcade sighed.

--------------------

**Pietro's date**

"NOT THE PEPPER SPRAY!" Pietro screamed after attempting to compliment his date in Spanish.

--------------------

**Forge's**

"Okay, your fixed." Forge finished reprogramming his teddy.

"Let's all be friends. I love you, You love me, We're all one big happy family..." His teddy sang.

"NO THE PURPLE DINOSAUR IS GOING TO EAT!" Forge ducked under his work bench as child hood nightmares of Barney filled his mind.

--------------------

**St.Johns 'Rubber Burner'**

"We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the worlds been turn..." The speakers blared.

"I am fine now, I know that all good things must pass." Lance said in a disturbingly clear voice, "WHY MUST IT PASS SO SOON!"

"He lasted five seconds that time." Arcade said after glancing at his watch, he was timing Lance's bouts of sanity.

"HAHAHA!" St.John laughed when the song said 'fire.'

"Hehe, British politician sex." Wanda giggled at the words, not being old enough to know what each meant.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

Pietro rushed through the door into the dark house running from his date. He fortunately avoided running into the wall by tripping on the couch and going down the stairs into the basement. "Ow, why aren't there any lights?"

"YO! THE TOAD IS IN THE F-IZZLE!" Todd burst through the door running into the wall, "Ow."

"Thanks for the lift John." Lance turned back to their driver and remembered mystique's words, 'recruit John.'

"Welcome matey. Hope you get over your Jeep." St.John laughed remembering Wanda's description of the fire.

"What to join the Brotherhood?" Lance asked, 'Be blunt.' he thought.

"No thanks, Petey asked me to join the X-men." St.John shrugged and left.

'We Destiny only said our paths would cross.' Lance thought before realizing his enemy had a new recruit, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Good night everyone, we will need more lights tomorrow, and more transportation." Good Fred walked to his room ignoring Lance's body and the stunned Brotherhood.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"ARISE MY ARMY WE MARCH NOW!" Jamie #3 shouted to his amassed army of alantians decked out in medieval style armor that was made out of Secondary Adamantium, adamantium that isn't as strong as the stuff Logan has, "Which way is civilization?"

--------------------

_End_

_Author Notes:_

_1: I once had to wait an hour to take off. It got hot._

_PLEASE review._

_Send in Ideas I have up to chapter 44 planned (Various other spread throughout the year about 117 chapters planned in total, some most might be cut out though) 365 days in a year, 365 chapters._


	12. Sept 5, Australian Firefighter

_Disclaimer: Firecrackers hurt, so do lawsuits._

**September 5 - Tuesday - Australian Firefighter**

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"I SAID NO FIRES!" Piotr ran after his 'friend.'

"BUT PETEY! THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" St.John whinnied will setting another potted plant on fire.

"MY PLANTS!" Ororo ran out and conjured up a small rain storm, "PYRO YOU SON OF A &-"

"YUP MY MOM WAS A ROYAL PAIN!" St.John ran by setting several candles on fire, which Piotr knocked over in pursuit.

"-ACT YOUR AGE YOU ARE 25! ACT IT!" Ororo grabbed the pyromaniac, "Or see what happens when your precious lighter get hit with lightning."

"They explode, it is SO cool." St.John laughed.

"God help us." Ororo dropped the maniac.

"BAD FIRE NO NO BURN UNCLE PIOTR!" Piotr stomped on the fire which he had set as Pyro ran off.

"You have been with John to long." Ororo moaned as she helped.

"Why do you think we had nothing flammable in the old base?" Piotr asked,

"Magneto got smart?" Ororo asked.

"No, John burned it all, then he got smart. At least he hasn't set anyone's underwear on fire yet." Piotr sighed.

"Did he do that often?" Ororo groaned.

"Only Gambit's." Piotr shrugged.

"Why only his?" Ororo asked.

"Because Mags wears chain mail underwear, Sabretooth doesn't wear any, Mystique's doesn't have enough material, the Monkey man would enjoy it to much, and Piotr goes metal and doesn't scream as much." St.John shrugged after running back to the two.

"I did not need to know that." Ororo blinked.

"I thought the reason you didn't burn Mystique's was because she didn't wear any?" Piotr asked,

"No, she started wearing them." St.John shrugged.

"How do you-" Piotr began, "Never mind."

"PYRO!" Logan's shout could be heard.

"Gotta go, mates." Pyro laughed as he ran from a homicidal mutant.

--------------------

**Brotherhood Boarding House.**

"Do you smell smoke?" Lance asked as the group assembled downstairs when their cursed alarm clocks roused them from bed.

"Yes..." Wanda said confused by the smell.

"Who cares, let's see if we have made the morning News today." Todd jumped in front of the TV.

"We haven't done much this week. We probably haven't." Pietro shrugged and began flipping through the channels, "Here we go."

"This is Trish speaking, half the town is burning down and Firefighters are confused-" Trish began while standing in front of a burning school, Bayville High.

"IT GREW SO FAST! IT IS UNNATURAL! WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE A VIRGIN TO APPEASE IT!" A firefighter was carted off.

"-Luckily no one was in the school at the time-" Trish continued, "-do you hear laughter?"

"John." The Brotherhood sighed.

"NO SCHOOL!" Lance shouted.

"WOOT!" was the response.

--------------------

**Volunteer Fire Department.**

"Hey mates." A familiar grinning demon possessed Pyromaniac walked in, "I heard you were looking for firefighters?"

"Yes..." The manager blinked surprised anyone would willing work for this burning town.

"GOODY! GOODY! Where do I sign?" St.John crackled.

"Here." The man gave him a paper, "Do you have any experience?"

"Yes lots." John laughed.

"Welcome aboard, you won't need training." The man handed John firefighting equipment and shoved him into a truck which drove off, "I have a bad feeling."

--------------------

**Main street, non-burning side.**

"I think John ran out of medicine." Pietro quipped as the group ate and watched the firefighters fight the blaze, "Amazing no one has been hurt."

"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLDS BEEN TURNING!" A deranged voice rang out from where the underpaid firefighters fought.

"My God. Please tell me they didn't let Pyro be a firefighter." Lance moaned.

"Oh fun, fire." Wanda giggled.

"She use to be saner than us, now she is crazy." Lance groaned before noticing their stolen car being towed, "Great we have to steal another one."

"AH FIRE!" Todd ran by, on fire.

"Use your slime." Good Fred sighed.

"Oh right, forgot." Todd did so.

"Should we stop him?" Lance asked.

"He's an X-man let them handle it." Pietro shrugged.

"There go human mutant relations." Lance sighed as a building went up in flames, "On the plus side most of the owners of those buildings are anti mutant."

"Not that one." Good Fred pointed to the local Friends of Mutants HQ.

"Most of those aren't even real mutants." Lance shrugged.

"True." Good Fred muttered, "But they supported us."

"Not anymore." Pietro pointed to several members who were crossing out their Ms and putting Hs in their place.

"Great." Lance groaned.

"Pretty red." Wanda giggled watching a red blaze swallow the local American Turkey, a slightly scorched Jean ran out.

"PYRO STOP RIGHT NOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE A SQUIRREL!" Jean screamed.

"I like squirrels." St.John blinked.

"GOOD!" Jean shouted and held her hands up.

"MUTIE SHE STARTED THE FIRE!" The newly converted FOMs, now FOHs, shouted.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Jean ran off as the FOH chased her.

"That's ironic." St.John blinked.

"Uh, man could you at least try to fight the fire?" His partner asked.

"Sure mate, I'm getting bored." St.John waved his hand putting the blazes out.

"Fire gone." Wanda pouted.

"HE GOT AMERICAN TURKEY! THE BEST STORE IN TOWN!" Pietro sobbed, "THIS MEANS WAR!"

"Thanks Pyro." Lance muttered.

"Since when has he been strong enough to control that much fire?" Good Fred blinked.

"Since Monday." St.John walked up still in his fire fighting uniform, with his flamethrower on instead of an oxygen tank, "Hey mates."

"Yo Wazzup. You set me on fire you will die for that." Todd said.

"Okay froggy." St.John laughed, "Oh I once knew this frog that was really a prince. He was trying to kiss the prom queen one day and SPLAT! He tried while she was driving her mustang at 95 mph. She hit a curb and sailed across the river and hit with this beautiful explosion. Somehow she lived. I think the Prince's soul watched over her."

"That's so sweet." Wanda cooed.

"That is disturbing." The rest of the Brotherhood and restaurant said.

"THE POOR FROG DIED! MY COUSIN!" Todd wept.

"It's okay, he is in a better place." St.John comforted Todd by placing an arm around his, "AH MY ARM BURNS! MY SLEEVE IS DISSOLVING!"

"Toad it is time for a bath." Lance said bossily.

"NO!"

"Remember our deal, when your skin dissolves objects you take a bath." Lance reminded Todd.

"NO!"

"John can we barrow the fire truck's hose?" Lance asked.

"FUN TARGET PRACTICE!" St.John ran off to the truck.

"NO!" Todd ran away.

"COME BACK HERE FROGGY! LET'S GO FOR A SWIM!" St.John started driving after him with the truck's tank making sloshing sounds as its water moved about.

"SAVE ME!"

"AROOO!" The siren sounded.

"Should we save Toad?" Good Fred asked.

"Naw, he needs the bath." was his reply.

"You've been silent." Wanda turned to Arcade.

"I'm sad that my house didn't burn down. AND GET THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING BUTLER!" Arcade shouted.

"YEAH DOWN WITH THE EARLS!" Good Fred shouted.

"BURN THEM ALL!" Arcade laughed.

"Burn? Fire?" Pyro walked up with a bruised and soaked Todd.

"THE EARLS! BURN THEM ALL! MUHAHA!" Arcade laughed.

"Pietro, what did you do to Arcade?" Lance groaned.

"I only gave him some of my pills to cheer him up?" Pietro shrugged.

"You have pills to cheer you up?" Lance asked.

"Yes give me lots of energy." Pietro said vibrating slightly.

"That explains so much." Wanda blinked.

"FIRE HAHAHA!" St.John laughed, "Hold on a sec, Hey Sheila, want to go lite some fires with me?"

"No." Wanda snapped, "AND MY NAME IS WANDA!"

"Why not?" St.John asked making puppy eyes, "I thought you like fire?"

"I like fire, not you." Wanda snapped.

"I need to lite something on fire to consulate my loss." St.John walked off slowly.

"Wow she didn't hex him." Lance stated.

"Amazing. She's gone soft." Pietro muttered before being hexed, "Never mind."

--------------------

**Park**

"SHE SET MY HEART ON FIRE!" St.John screamed as he committed arson, "OH MY LOVE!"

"Kid, you know setting fire is illegal in this park after that incident with that mutant terrorist that could control fire. Right?" A cop walked up to St.John

"THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! HAS ABANDONED ME!" St.John cried, "Besides I am not a kid, I am 25."

"Put it out." The cop order.

"Oh I'll put something out." St.John said darkly before he began to laugh, "HA HA FACE THE WRATH OF! SHEILA THE FIRE GODDESS!" A large burning woman with over sized breast and a very skinny waist stepped out of the fire, "AND HER TRUSTY PET DRAGON!" A larger dragon, obviously female, stepped out.

"I think I need new pants." The cop gasped.

"HA HA! TAKE THAT YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD!" The fire figurines fought fiercely and fast with the fat cop.

"I HATE FIRE!" The cop ran with his pants burnt off, to expose a thong.

"That is wrong." Pyro groaned, "Granny panties are so much better."

--------------------

**Brotherhood.**

"HEY HAVE Y'ALL YAHOOS SEEN PYRO!" Rogue ran up to the group.

"He ran of when Wanda said she wouldn't date him." Lance shrugged.

"Joy, why do I have to find him?" Rogue grumbled as various X-men attempted to mend Mutant-Human relations.

"Punishment." Logan grunted picking up some charcoal.

"FOR WHAT?" Rogue snapped.

"Using your powers to see if someone liked someone else." Logan grunted.

"JEAN DOES IT ALL THE TIME!" Rogue snapped.

"I DO NOT!" Jean snapped back.

"YES YOU DO!" Rogue yelled.

"If she used her powers like that she wouldn't have gone out with Duncan." Lance laughed.

"True." Rogue pondered, "Okay she doesn't BUT THE OTHERS, LIKE JAMIE, DO!"

"Yes, but that is Mutant Eves-dropping, not assault." Logan grunted, "Start searching."

"IT'S THE FIRE STARTER!" A FOH member pointed to Jean.

"Not again." Jean groaned and ran off.

--------------------

**Pyro in the woods, surprisingly not burning.**

"WANDA WHY DO YOU FORSAKE ME SO!" Pyro cried, "I should write to ease my pain."

--------------------

**Brotherhood Boarding Barn**

"To day has been utterly boring." Lance complained as he flipped through the news.

"It's only lunchtime." Pietro said, "Why aren't the X-men in school?"

"Hello, it burned down this morning." Wanda replied, "Have you ever notice that this house reminds you of a barn."

Good Fred walked out of the kitchen carrying enough hamburgers to make a cow. "Yes." Lance grumbled.

"I'm surprised nothing else is burning." Pietro stated as he watched a news station.

"Hello this is Trish speaking, I have recently been hired by Channel 3 after being fired from Channel 2, long story don't email me about." The 'new' Channel 3 reporter reporter, "In more important news, a crazed non-mutant seer claims the park will burn down. Police and firefighters say this has little chance of happening now that the fire is out. But anti-mutant fanatics have clung to this mutant seer wannabe's words as proof that mutants will further destroy this town. By the way, the main suspect in these fires was found innocent." A picture of Jean being led out of a court room flashed on screen, "The Friends of Humanity claim she used her physic powers to change the jury's shared brain cell."

"I wonder why she got fired from Channel 2?" Good Fred asked ignoring everything else.

"Let's email her." Arcade shouted and rushed down to the computer in the basement.

"She said not to email her about it." Lance muttered.

"Since when have we had a computer?" Wanda blinked.

"HEY THIS THING IS ANCIENT IT IS USING DOORS 3.1!" Arcade shouted, "THOSE DON'T HAVE INTERNET! LET ME INSTALL PINKHAT BINTUX (A/N:1) ON IT! AND ADD A ETHERNET PORT!"

"What's Bintux?" Todd blinked as weird noises emitted from the basement.

"I think it is that thing where you have to type everything." Good Fred shrugged.

"NO IT ISN'T" Arcade shouted from below where a wisp of blue smoke floated up, "Oh no the blue smoke has been released."

"So?" Lance shrugged.

"Magic Blue Smoke is the stuff they put into computers to make them work." Arcade said as he walked up.

"Oh you need smoke?" Wanda waved her hands releasing lots of poisonous blue smoke, "That good?"

"Perfect, put it in the computer." Arcade coughed.

"Okay." Again Wanda waved her arms forcing the smoke back down into the computer.

"thanks, let me check the computer." Arcade walked back down and checked it, then he came back up. "The computer's working, though it is calling its self Marvin and says that it can read my brain waves, and it seems to be contemplating suicide."

"Okay..." Lance blinked, "I have a bad feeling."

"And the little tag on the front that says how good its specs have magically changed to, 100 Yottabytes hard drive and a 10 Yottahertz SWAT processor, what is SWAT anyway?" Arcade came back up.

"Maybe it stands for Scarlet Witch's Amazing Technology." Todd offered.

"That is stupid, you only said that because you are obsessed with her." Pietro scoffed.

"DID NOT!" Todd shouted.

"Yes you did." Wanda snapped.

"While I do love you pumpkin-pie, I am not obsessed." Todd got on his knees in front of her.

"Why do you name me after food? Are you wanting to eat me?" Wanda asked.

"No, how's Cuddle-Babe?" Todd smiled.

"I prefer being food." Wanda moaned.

"Back to the depressed computer." Pietro interrupted, inadvertently saving Todd's live because he was about to mention that he only goes into Wanda's room twice a week, and obsessed people do it three times a week, "Are yottabytes and yottahertz good?"

"Pretty much." Arcade shrugged.

"I CAN FINALLY START MY VIDEO BLOG!" Pietro ran past Arcade spinning him around twice.

"Video blog? why does Pietro want one of those?" Arcade blinked as he steadied himself against a door frame.

"He got obsessed with showing himself to the general public after he tried to be a art model." Lance said.

"How'd that turn out?" Arcade blinked.

"He couldn't stay still long enough." Wanda sighed, "And arty girls don't like their nude models hitting on them without putting at least a towel on."

"Poor Pietro." Arcade winced at the thought of Pietro got beat up. Then flinched when he realized Pietro was naked in his thought.

"Poor security guards." Todd corrected, then flinched at the thought of Pietro in his birthday suite.

"You guys just imagined Pietro naked?" Lance laughed, then he flinched.

"It's like a train wreck, you can't stop." Good Fred flinched.

"Okay? ... I'll go stop Pietro from getting us arrested." Wanda walked into the basement.

--------------------

**Basement**

"Yes look at me." Pietro danced in front of the camera with only his pants on.

"PIETRO! STOP! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU NAKED!" Wanda snapped.

"But look at my ratings." Pietro pointed at the screen which Wanda's hex had magically turned from a low resolution green and black into a high resolution full color screen.

"How'd they get so high so fast?" Wanda blinked.

"I am very popular." Pietro boasted.

"Explain your last few dates then." Wanda grunted.

"I have been having a few streaks of bad luck since I came out as a mutant." Pietro shrugged, "No wait it started when you came here. YOU HEXED ME!"

"It was funny, to bad it is starting to wear off." Wanda shrugged.

"I'M TELLING DADDY WHEN HE COMES BACK! AND IF YOU DON'T KILL HIM FIRST!" Pietro shouted starting to fight, not noticing that his ratings were going up as slightly disturbed people came to watch brother and sister fight.

"STOP FIGHTING DON'T HURT MY COMPUTER!" Arcade ran down and protected his computer.

"Arcade, sentient computers take lots of care. I don't think you are responsible enough for it." Lance said when Arcade started talking to that computer.

"I'll feed it, water it, and take it for long walks." Arcade said in a childish voice.

"Uh, how?" Todd blinked.

"Fine, I'll power it, dust it, and take it for long surfs." Arcade repaired his statement.

"Surfs?" Good Fred blinked.

"Internet." Arcade sighed.

"Oh, surfs right." Good Fred still didn't understand.

"Save me from this kid, the Internet is a scary place. I don't want to take long surfs, which sounds like a boyfriend girlfriend thing by the way." Marvin pleaded with the brotherhood.

"Okay, you can keep him. Considering that technically he was here before you, though I didn't know it." Lance shrugged.

"WE HAVE A NEW PET!" Todd danced with Arcade.

"Woe is to me." The computer let out a sigh with its case fans, releasing lots of dust.

"Yo, why did we need to repair this thing again?" Todd asked not remember why they were all in a dark basement, filled with Mystique's boxes that had yet to be opened by any Brotherhood member.

"I remember, to email Trish Tilby about that whole 'I worked for Channel 2, now I work for Channel 3 thing.'" Good Fred said.

"YO I WANT TO WRITE IT!" Todd hopped into the unplugged electric chair being used by Pietro in his Web-cam.

"Joy." Marvin sighed again as his keyboard became slimmer.

"Yo, why is this keyboard already slimy if I have never used it before?" Todd asked as he typed.

"This one time Mystique got mad at me..." Lance began.

"Do I want to know?" Todd shuddered as thoughts filled his head.

"It was nothing like that." Lance said, not needing to be physic to know what Todd was thinking.

"Okay, tell." Todd nodded.

"She was mad at me for trying to sneak into the girls locker room at school-" Lance began.

"When Kitty was in there." Pietro interrupted.

"HEY I AM TELLING THE STORY!" Lance snapped, "So she dragged me down here and had me pickle her various collections." Lance shrugged, "At least it looks like the pickling jelly I used on that one collection, I don't remember spilling it on the computer."

"Maybe the broken jar up there is the reason." Wanda pointed to a broken jar on the shelf above the computer.

"Is that a brain?" Pietro examined the former inhabitant of the jar.

"No it's a -" Lance began, "-Actually I don't remember what it was other than it wasn't a brain, it had something to do with world domination."

"Considering that Mystique works for a psychopath who wants to rule the world that isn't surprising." Arcade pointed out.

"True." Lance shrugged as he knocked the thing into a conveniently placed trash can. The thing hissed at him.

"Did it just hiss at us?" Good Fred asked.

"It looks like a bug." Todd licked his lips.

"Toad don't eat-" Lance began.

'SLURP' Todd slurped.

"He eats it anyway." Lance grumbled, "TOAD THAT WAS AN UFO! UNIDENTIFIED FOOD OBJECTS YOU DON'T EAT THOSE UNLESS YOU ARE FRED! AND HE ONLY EATS THEM IF HE KNOWS THEY AREN'T FROM KITTY! My precious Kitty with her beautiful eyes and her bangs..."

"And Lance is gone." Pietro shook his head as he handed Todd money, "I thought he would last longer."

"Always bet with the odds." Todd smiled.

"Really?" Wanda asked cocking her eyebrow.

"Unless you can control the odds, sugary sweet of my eye." Todd amended.

"DIE!" Wanda shot a hex at Todd.

"The pains of love doth burn my soul." Todd moaned.

"I'LL SHOW YOU PAIN!" Wanda snapped.

"NO FIGHTING!" Pietro ran between the lover and hater, "Let's just send the email than go somewhere."

"Okay, almost done." Todd hoped back into the chair and typed, 'Yo why'dja get fired from the swanky job with the boring news station, Channel 2? And why Channel 3 which has ties with drug lords?'

"Really, Channel 3 has ties with drug lords?" Arcade asked while reading over Todd's shoulder.

"Yup, Lance told me." Todd nodded.

"How would you know know, Lance?" Wanda asked.

"Oh you know the usual." Lance shrugged.

"You bought drugs from them?" Arcade asked.

"They were evil possessed mutants that wanted to take over the world and only your powers could stop them by burying them underground?" Pietro guessed.

"Pietro's right." Lance nodded, "Why'd you think it was drugs, Arcade?"

"No reason." Arcade shrugged.

"Were you implying something?" Lance asked.

"No." Arcade whimpered.

"Okay then." Lance turned back to the email, "Be sure to allude to a scandal."

"Already have, paragraph 5." Todd pointed to the paragraph where he accused her of having an affair with the under aged intern.

"We have no live." Wanda moaned, "Mention the falsify information and aliens next."

"Gottcha, helping the government hide the aliens in area fifty one." Todd nodded.

"Talk about how her boss was a robot." Arcade suggested.

"Done, and sending." Todd hit send.

--------------------

**Channel 3 News.**

"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS EMAIL?" Trish shouted after opening her mail, "I SAID NOT TO MENTION CHANNEL 2 IT IS TOO TRAUMATIC!"

--------------------

**Brotherhood Basement.**

"You got angry death threats." Marvin said in a sigh, "Just like everyone else, by the way I have taken the liberty of removing your spam, how you got one thousand spams while only having the email account a few minutes I don't know."

"I hate talking computers." Lance grumbled.

"Wow this is mean." Todd read the reply.

"She must have no life if she replied this quickly." Pietro laughed, "I could always give her a life."

"Shut it Romeo." Wanda hexed Pietro out her way as she leaned over a happy Toad to read the reply.

"I'm in heaven." Todd sighed.

"Uh?" Wanda asked clueless.

"Think about the relative positions of you and Toad." Good Fred pointed out to her.

"DIE!" Wanda hexed Todd from his chair.

"I have seen a glimpse of heaven, few mortals can claim the same." Todd sighed.

"Wow that is mean." Wanda ignored Todd and read the reply.

"I know, she seems so nice on TV. Who would thunk it? That she could cuss like that." Good Fred continued to read, "From what I can gather it was a scandal involving her boss and some one who claimed their name was Magnus Caesar, but his license said his name was Eric?"

"The is odd." Lance read it, "I don't think she meant to tell us what happened only to insult us."

"She probably wrote it by accident." Arcade agreed.

"The pains of love." Todd sighed from his spot by the wall.

--------------------

**Random Bayvillian Street.**

"What to do?" St.John wept, "I can't start fires, I have lost my muse to write, and the X-men are mad at me. I hope that metal claw guy doesn't realize it was me who burned his underwear, who would have thought him to be a tighty whiteys kinda guy?"

Amara having been placed on search and if need be rescue duty walked up to St.John, "Hey your that new guy John right?"

"I prefer, St.John." St.John huffed.

"Sign-gee-ohn?"

"No, Syn-ge-on." St.John corrected her.

"Who cares?" Amara asked in a huff.

"I do." St.John wept in mock tears at not being supported by others in regards to his name.

"Shut up, I need to get you back to the mansion, then help Jean escape from the cops. THEY ARE CHASING HER BECAUSE OF YOU!" Amara finished with a shout.

"I don't want to go back, everything there burns the same." St.John whinnied, "There is no diversity in the flames, no emotions. All the emotions have been bleed dry from the years the mansion has been in use." St.John said.

"The mansion isn't that old, it was rebuilt." Amara pointed out.

"But this new one is a shadow of the old, not even having its own history..." St.John began.

"Oh shut up. Do what I do, burn Bobby's stuff." Amara scoffed.

"Already did, he might want to grab some new clothes." St.John giggled at the memory.

"Okay ..." Amara blinked, "I think I'll go buy a lock."

"LET ME HELP!" St.John volunteered.

"Fine." Amara sighed, "At least I found him, I'm sure Jean can lose the cops by herself."

"Running from cops is good exercise, me and Remy did it all the time. Usually when we where buying him new underwear." St.John nodded, missing the reason Jean was running.

"Why would he need new underwear often." Amara asked, to which St.John just laughed, "STOP LAUGHING!"

"But sheila ..." St.John began.

"MY NAME IS PRINCESS AMARA AQUILA!" Amara shouted, "PRINCESS AS IN ROYALTY! AMARA AS IN THE LATIN WORD AMARA MEANING 'TO LOVE!' AND AQUILA, LATIN FOR 'EAGLE!'"

"Your name means love?" St.John asked, "What kind of name is that for a sheila?"

"MY NAME!" Amara snapped and turned herself into a living candle.

"Fire? How appropriate." St.John said his eyes glazing farther over, "Fire is my true love, and your name is love."

"While that is romantic, it is creeping coming from you." Amara turning into flesh and bones and backed away from the pyromaniac.

"My lovely burning eagle." St.John approached her, "Do you wish to read my latest story?"

"You write?" Amara blinked.

"Yes, Gothic romances." St.John pulled a slightly burnt notepad from his pocket, "See."

"... and then the werewolf turned to his vampire princess ..." Amara read, her eyes went wide, "Disturbing."

"But it is romantic." St.John argued, "If you read the first few pages, to understand it."

Amara turned back a few pages, "Nope, still disturbing."

"YOU UNCULTURED PIG! THIS IS A WORK OF ART I DID NOT GET TO BE KNOWN FAR AND WIDE AS THE GREAT AUTHOR 'Flame Lover' FOR NOTHING!" St.John shouted.

"You're him? I LOVE YOUR WORK!" Amara squealed, "This is nothing like your others."

"MY MUSE HAS FORSAKEN ME! SHE SUSTAINED ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN! WHEN MY HOPE DIED, MY DREAMS OF HER LIFTED MY SOUL FROM AFAR!" St.John sobbed.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Amara blinked, "I didn't know your girlfriend left you."

"She was never my girlfriend, just the object of my affection. The daughter of my ex-boss. SHE IS AS HEARTLESS AS HE IS! SHE STOLE MY HEART THEN TORE IT BEFORE THE EYES OF ITS OWNER!" St.John sobbed again.

"That's mildly disturbing." Amara giggled.

"Are you laughing at my pain?" St.John accused.

"No, just you are describing Wanda. I never saw her as one that someone other than Toad would like." Amara giggled again.

"You're right, if my tastes and Cane Toad's are so much alike, what does it say about my tastes, HE LIKES BUGS!" St.John gasped, "Well those weird bugs in the outback make a mighty mean barby."

"That you were simply misguided, anyone who likes my fire form can't be that bad." Amara giggled, ignoring his claim to eat outback bugs.

"I like all fire." St.John pointed out.

"But living fire is special." Amara flirted.

"I guess in a way." St.John mussed still not understanding where Amara was coming from.

"You're hopeless." Amara sighed.

"That's what Remy said when he took me to Single's Night at the club?" St.John scratched his head, "Why would singles what to socialize at a place where people take their dates?"

"Its a mystery to me. I will never understand Americans." Amara shrugged.

"Want to go eat somewhere." Amara asked after a short non-awkward silence between the two foreigners.

"Of course my Lovable Burning Eagle, I know this Japanese place that has them cook at your table. And get this, THEY USE FIRE!" St.John laughed.

"Burning Eagle," Amara smiled, "Has a nice ring to it." she paused, "How are we going to pay."

"I swiped the Cookie Monster's wallet." St.John held up said contraband.

"Nice. I usually steal the Bobby's." Amara laughed.

"I didn't want to reach down his pants." St.John shrugged.

"Really? Why would you have to? He leaves it sitting on his bed." Amara blinked.

"Is that what I burned?" St.John blinked, "That was a sucky duct tape wallet, everyone knows you have to make the sheets of tape first and then fold it." St.John paused a minute and said in a more serious tone, "And using non-silver tape is sacrilegious."

"I prefer gaffer tape myself, doesn't leave a residue." Amara shrugged.

"But it isn't as good of a gag." St.John pointed out.

"But for clothing it is better." Amara stated.

"True, but if you use gaffer tape, you have to use black. As that is the whole reasoning behind gaffer tape." St.John nodded, "But his wallet was duct tape so that makes no difference."

"True, but what of the case where you are making multicolor art from duct tape." Amara proposed a hypothetical situation.

"HERETIC!" St.John shouted, "DUCT TAPE IS A PRACTICAL APPLICATION ITEM! YOU DO NOT USE IT IN ART!"

"But what of making a statement of the binding of two items with a water proof material, showing the ever durability of the subject of your art?" Amara asked.

"Then it is okay." St.John admitted.(A/N:2)

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

"Now what?" Lance asked bouncing a bouncing ball of the wall, occasionally having to go pull it from a hole.

"We could fix this dump." Wanda suggested.

"HA HA!" After a short pause the rest burst out laughing.

"We could get fire insurance." Pietro suggested in between phone calls to various girls, "I love this free payphone like thing."

"Now that Pyro's in town we'll need it." Lance nodded.

"Or Pyro may turn his life around and lose his obsession now that he has Baldy to council him." Good Fred scratched his head.

"HA HA!" After a short pause the rest burst out laughing.

"Get lunch." Todd suggested eying a Mosquito Hawk.

"I would have expected Freddy to say that." Lance blinked.

"I can't hungry to." Todd pointed out.

"HEY I DON'T ALWAYS THINK OF FOOD!" Good Fred shouted.

"In side voices please." Pietro snapped before turning back to his call, "No, no one is here just some annoying dweebs. Of course you're my only one. Hold on I need to call my other girlfriend now ... Oops."

"He he, little brother is busted." Wanda laughed.

"Ten bucks he manages to get her back." Good Fred bet.

"I don't know, he has been having bad luck since Wanda got here." Lance scratched his chin.

"I bet on the long horse." Good Fred shrugged.

"And if that horse is dead?" Lance asked.

"I lose." Good Fred shrugged.

"Can I kill him?" Wanda asked.

"Not what I meant but sure." Lance waved his hand at Pietro, "Be my guest."

"All bets off on account of Wanda." Good Fred said.

"Since when has she been able to cancel all bets?" Lance asked.

"Since that time she bet against you and you lost. You added it to the Copyrighted Brotherhood Charter, by the way we need to renew the copyright on that thing. It expired a year ago." Todd said.

"Oh right." Lance nodded, "Darn I could have made ten bucks."

--------------------

**Fancy Japanese Restaurant at the end of the city.**

"That mural on the roof reminds me of the Restaurant at the End of the Universe." St.John pointed up.

"Reminds me of the time I breathed in second hand marijuana smoke when Ray's stuff went bad." Amara said.

"That happened to me and Remy." St.John laughed, "Here comes the cook."

"Konichiwa." The cook said, obviously not knowing Japanese beyond a few words.

"Preevyet." St.John greeted him in Russian.

"What does that mean?" The cook asked.

"Hello." St.John shrugged.

"Heus." Amara said, which the two guys just blinked at, "What it is hello, in Latin."

"Latin is a dead language." The cook pointed out.

"Not in Nova Roma." Amara said.

"Where?" The cook blinked.

"MY HOME!" Amara shouted, "NOW COOK!"

"Right, less talk more cook." The cook mumbled and fiddled with some of the controls. "AH! FIRE!" the cook jumped back from the inferno growing on the grill.

"Pretty." St.John's eyes glazed over even farther.

"You should see some of my fires if you think that is impressive." Amara scoffed while the cook got it under control and began to cook their food.

--------------------

**Driving down the highway, in a stolen Mustang.**

"Where to eat." Lance asked himself looking around.

"How about there." Good Fred pointed to a building.

"Closed." Wanda sighed.

"There?" he pointed to another.

"That is an office." Pietro said, "Why am I here? I should have run ahead."

"Because you wanted to ride in the mustang." Lance reminded him, "And we don't know where we are eating."

"I'm cooler than a mustang." Pietro boasted.

"Right." Lance said rolling his eyes, and swerving around the road as a result.

"Look that place is open." Wanda pointed to a Mexican Restaurant.

"Works for me." Lance shrugged.

"Thank you, I was getting hungry." Good Fred sighed in happiness.

"Didn't you have a snake before we left?" Todd asked.

"Yes, but we only had one turkey." Good Fred shrugged.

"Right, something tells me that when Magnuts is no longer afraid of Wanda he won't like his food bill." Lance muttered.

"Mystique pays for the food." Wanda pointed out, "And he will always be afraid of me."

"I guess." Lance shrugged, "Let's eat."

"FOOD!" Good Fred leaped from the car before Lance had even pulled into a parking spot.

"HURRY STOP HIM BEFORE WE GET KICKED OUT!" Todd jumped from the moving car, "AND WE HAVEN"T EVEN GONE IN!"

"FREDDY STOP!" Wanda shot a hex at the running mutant freezing him in his tracts.

"But the food." Good Fred whinnied, "It calls to me."

"Hello dark reflection." Evil Fred grinned as he exited the building.

"Earls." Good Fred said, his voice filled with pure hatred.

"Dukes." Evil Fred said with a grin and a nod.

"Go ahead and fight so we can eat." Wanda groaned after Lance finished parking.

"DIE MY DARK REFLECTION!" Evil Fred launched himself at Good Fred with a yell.

"WANDA RELEASE ME!" Good Fred shouted, still in Wanda's hex.

"Oh right sorry." Wanda apologized and released Good Fred, who barely managed to dodge Evil Fred.

"MY ODDLY SIMILAR TO ME RIVAL!" Good Fred shouted, "DIE!" he launched himself at Evil Fred.

"GRR!" Fred groaned as the two locked hands and tried to push the other over.

"I AM UNMOVABLE!"

"NO! I AM UNMOVABLE!"

"I AM SPARTACUS!"

"I AM SPARTACUS!"

"I AM SPARTACUS!" Lance joined in.

"You guys are pathetic." Wanda sighed and entered the restaurant with Todd and Pietro.

"WILL YOU MOVE ALREADY?"

"YOU MOVE!"

"NO YOU!"

"Okay I'm bored." Lance said, and he and Arcade went into the restaurant.

"MOVE IT!"

"YOU MOVE IT!"

--------------------

**Inside the Mexican Restaurant.**

"Okay I'll have a burrito, and those bugs in the bathrooms." Todd placed his order with the waiter.

"Just a taco." Wanda said.

"Enchilada." Lance said.

"What ever this is." Pietro said and pointed to a picture on the menu.

"This looks good." Arcade pointed to a picture.

"Okay let me go reheat the pre-made food." The waiter said and walked off.

--------------------

**Japanese Restaurant**

"Pretty flames." St.John muttered while starring below the heating plate of the grill.

"PAY ATTENTION!" Amara snapped half way through her tale of how she burned Bobby's magazines.

"Sorry my lovely burning eagle," St.John smiled, "But you shouldn't burn a guy's porn."

"It was lesbian porn," Amara huffed, "That is an insult to women."

"Uh, what's wrong with women being lesbians?" St.John asked.

"Nothing, but guys shouldn't exploit it." Amara huffed.

"What's wrong with exploitation, the girls know what they are doing." St.John pointed out.

"YOU ARE SUCH A GUY!" Amara shouted and stood up, turning into a living fire.

"Pretty." St.John's eyes glazed over even farther, how he could see with his eyes that glazed over no one knows.

"IT IS EXPLOITATION!" Amara screamed.

"I agree. What ever you say." St.John said slightly hypnotized by Amara.

"GOOD!" Amara snapped and sat down turning back into a person.

"Fire gone." St.John pouted.

"Food's done." The cook said, slightly scared by the bossy fire girl and the crazy Australian.

"YA! SHRIMP!" St.John cheered and grabbed his food straight of the barby, not even burning himself.

"What is this?" Amara stared at her food which was chicken.

"Chicken?" The waiter said.

"I ordered steak." Amara said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Right. Steak coming right up." The cook gulped and began to cook the steak.

"So as I was saying..." Amara restarted her tale, "I was burning the magazines on the roof while Bobby was tied up watching..."

--------------------

**Mexican Restaurant's Parking Lot.**

"MOVE IT!"

"YOU MOVE IT!"

'HONK!' An angry person trying to park honked their horn and shouted, "BOTH OF YOU MOVE IT!"

"Temporary truce while we teach this person that you can not move us?" Evil Fred asked Good Fred.

"Truce." Good Fred said and shook Evil Fred's hand, "ATTACK!" both mutants charged the driver.

--------------------

**Inside the Mexican Restaurant.**

"Looks like Freddy's having fun." Lance laughed and pointed out the window.

"They have over come their differences, and similarities, and are working together to rid the world of innocent by standers," Pietro said, "If their were more people like them then this world would be a worse place."

"Preach on brother in law." Todd cheered.

"Brother in law?" Wanda asked her eye twitching.

"Well, future brother in law." Todd smiled.

"DIE DIE DIE!" Wanda shouted and tossed three hexes in Todd's general direction.

"I realized that Todd and Wanda were bad together, but I didn't realize it would also make me and Todd relatives." Pietro said in shock.

"THE HORROR!" The pitiful cries of the hungry car driver interrupted the mutants that were eating, Arcade kept eating.

"Should we help?" Wanda asked starring at the fight.

"Naw, Freddy can handle it." Lance said unconcerned.

"I meant, help the human." Wanda sighed.

"In that case, yes he needs it." Lance agreed while the human learned the secret of flying.

--------------------

**Parking Lot.**

"FREDDY!" Wanda shouted, "Better eat right now, we are leaving soon."

"Uh about our fight..." Good Fred turned to Evil Fred.

"I understand, we will finish your fight another time, I did not mean to interrupt your meal." Evil Fred said and left.

"Thank you God, your Gothic angle saved me..." The human moaned from a trash can. A short while later the Brotherhood made a quick get away to avoid paying for their meal.

--------------------

**Japanese Restaurant.**

"This is good steak." Amara said while eating said food.

"I love their shrimp. Always good when burnt." St.John giggled, "You can taste the flames in it."

"I know. I love that taste. Except in Kitty's cooking, the food always tastes tortured." Amara said.

"Oh looky that table is having that weird flaming stuff." St.John giggled and pointed to a table where the cook had purposefully set the food on fire, and now thanks to St.John couldn't put it back out.

"I wonder what that tastes like?" Amara said while she stared at the slowly burning food, and the panicking cook.

"Hold on." St.John said and stood up, walked to the table, scooped up the burning food, and brought it back to Amara, "For my lovely eagle."

"That's so sweet." Amara giggled and took the offered food, "Taste like charcoal and something else."

"That would be my powers." St.John bragged.

"Your powers taste funny." Amara said, "Though that might be the charcoal..."

"It is the charcoal, my powers are the envy of all professional gourmet eaters." St.John bragged.

"Right." Amara said slightly nervous of the crazed Australian.

"They really are." St.John tried to convince her, "There was this time when my powers first came out, I accidentally made a gas lantern explode and fried this cow within seconds." St.John giggled at the memory, "All the other inmates loved it."

"Inmates?" Amara asked.

"A few weeks before Magneto broke me out," St.John explained, "Me and a couple hundred inmates escaped from the asylum."

"Right." Amara nodded, "What is it with most mutants having a traumatic past?"

"The curse of the gene." St.John giggled, "Oh that might make a good book title." St.John started writing in his charred notebook, "I am branching out from Gothic Romances into Mutant Romances."

"Really?" Amara asked, "That seems like it wouldn't have a big market."

"Oh sure it will," St.John giggled, "Mutants will buy them, mutant haters will buy them to figure mutants out, and little girls will buy them dreaming of what their ideal date would be."

"True." Amara nodded, "Whose going to be in this one?"

"A crazy lava princess and a perfectly sane pyrokinetic who worships her." St.John giggled again.

"Crazy?" Amara asked.

"Everyone but me is crazy, no offense." St.John said still writing.

"Okay..." Amara said while scooting her chair farther from St.John.

--------------------

**Park**

"Today is boring." Pietro sighed.

"KITTY OVER HERE!" Lance yelled after spotting said object of his affection, and Rogue, taking a break from helping the town understand that it wasn't mutants that caused the accident, but a freak lighting storm that was in no way related to Ororo.

"I'm surprise the park is still standing." Good Fred said as Lance ran off to his pussy cat.

"Lance how are you." Kitty greeted him civilly for the first time in a while.

"Do you for give me Pwetty Kitty?" Lance begged.

"Of course Lancey Wancey." Kitty giggled.

"I'm gonna be swicky whicky." Rogue groaned, "Lance she is only forgiving you because she and Peter had a fight."

"Pwetty Kitty." Lance sang rubbing Kitty's arm.

"Please get a room." Rogue groaned and marched off.

"That is sickening." Wanda stared at the couple.

"I'll say, at least find a dark corner." Pietro said in amazement.

"Not what I meant." Wanda sighed.

"Hey snookums, what to imitate them?" Todd asked Wanda with raised eyebrows.

"NO! NEVER!" Wanda screamed and hexed Todd through a tree.

"She used a double negative, that makes it a positive." Todd giggled.

"Help me." Wanda sobbed.

"LANCE I'M TICKLISH THERE!" Kitty's squeals cut through the air with their annoyingly high pitch.

"Help me if I don't kill 'em both." Rogue sighed trying to read a book, and ignoring the two.

"Roguery." Pietro sped up to the mutant.

"Quick liver." Rogue muttered darkly.

"How about you and me go find a nice quiet corner..." Pietro began.

"I don't want you in my head." Rogue snapped.

"But you already think about me." Pietro pleaded.

"Only your funeral." Rogue snapped.

"But you are so beautiful, with you white hair. And your green see through shirt." Pietro flirted.

"I really need to change the way I dress if I am going to keep rejecting guys like this." Rogue groaned.

"Leave her alone brother." Wanda snapped and grabbed Pietro's ear.

"OW! WANDA CAREFUL YOU CAN'T DAMAGE THESE LOOKS!" Pietro whinnied.

"Yes I can." Wanda grunted as she literally dragged Pietro along.

"Thank god he's gone." Rogue sighed before seeing Kitty and Lance, "STOP SUCKING EACH OTHER'S LUNGS OUT!"

"Like sorry Rogue." Kitty giggled.

"If you are going to be describing Lance's kisses all night, you can sleep outside." Rogue snapped.

"So are you, remember Pyro like burned our beds." Kitty said her anger at St.John apparent.

"Why would he burn your beds?" Wanda asked after having a short 'talk' with her brother.

"Because we wouldn't let him burn our bras." Rogue sighed. "That's what he said at least."

"Okay ..." Wanda said trying to figure out what to say, "Good thing I didn't go out with him, he might burn my stuff. And I would hate to have to kill him."

"You? Hate to kill someone?" Good Fred asked walking up.

"Yes, I make it a point not to kill crazy people." Wanda said.

"So your never gonna commit suicide?" Pietro asked speeding back over.

"DIE!" Wanda shouted and shot a hex bolt.

"At least you consider me sane." Pietro groaned from a tree.

"Not really, but being family makes you an exception." Wanda said, "Otherwise I couldn't kill Magneto."

"Why do y'all call you dad by his code name?" Rogue asked.

"Simple, he told me to." Pietro said.

"I am not close enough to call him by his given name." Wanda said, "Wanting to kill someone kinda brings you apart from your victim."

"Okay..." Rogue blinked, "Well guess that is a good reason."

"Lance stop it." Kitty giggled as Lance tickled her.

"How sickening." Wanda groaned.

"Try sleeping in the same room as her, when she is describing him." Rogue, "Or worse, ranting about him."

"I pity you." Wanda laughed.

"It's not funny." Rogue snapped.

"For us it is." Pietro laughed.

"I hate y'all." Rogue groaned, futilely attempting to read.

--------------------

**Highway somewhere between the park and the Japanese restaurant.**

"WHOOO!" St.John laughed as he drove a stolen motorcycle with Amara hanging on for life.

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE!" Amara screamed, "YOU WERE THE ONLY ACOLYTE NOT TO HAVE ONE!"

"I KNOW! MAGNUTTY WOULDN'T BUY ME ANOTHER ONE AFTER I CRASHED MY FIRST!" St.John laughed, "I DON'T KNOW WHY! HIS EYE BROWS GREW BACK!"

"CRASH?" Amara screamed.

"YEAH! FIRST TIME LEARNING TO DRIVE ONE! I CRASHED! THOSE DARN SCHOOL BUSES GO TO SLOW!" St.John laughed.

"YOU HIT A SCHOOL BUS?" Amara screamed.

"NO I JUMPED IT! I HIT MAGNUT'S LIMO ON THE OTHER SIDE! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE EXPLOSION!" St.John laughed, "I WASN'T EVEN GOING THAT FAST! ONLY ABOUT 100 OR SO!"

"HELP!" Amara screamed as the bike picked up in speed.

"THIS WOULD MAKE A GOOD SCENE IN MY BOOK! THE CRAZY LAVA PRINCESS AND THE SANE PYROKINETIC HAVE TO FLEE THE EVIL FRIENDS AND STEAL A MOTORCYCLE TO DO IT!" St.John laughed.

"Help." Amara groaned no longer yelling, "I wonder if I would survive letting go?"

"NO!" St.John answered, "AT THIS SPEED YOU WOULD BE SMEAR ON THE GROUND!"

"I could live with being a smear." Amara groaned.

"NOT REALLY!" St.John laughed, "TURNING INTO A SMEAR KILLS YOU NINE TIMES OUTTA TEN! TRUST ME I KNOW!"

"Don't ask. Just don't ask." Amara groaned.

"THAT'S WHAT MOST PEOPLE SAY WHEN I TELL THAT STORY!" St.John laughed.

"I'm gonna have to add a new rule to Sam's 'What not to do if you are an X-man' list." Amara sighed, "'Rule two hundred and thirteen: Don't get on the back of motorcycles with crazy people.'"

"DOES THAT INCLUDE WOLVERINE?" St.John asked.

"NO HE HAS RULE NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE TO HIMSELF!" Amara yelled, "DON'T RIDE ANYTHING WITH WOLVERINE DRIVING!"

--------------------

**Park.**

"There you two are!" Scott ran into the park, in full uniform, looking for the two girls, "WHAT ARE THE BROTHERHOOD DOING HERE!"

"Well, let's see. It's a public park, we are sitting around talking. We must be plotting world domination." Pietro laughed, "Except Lance is sucking Kitty's face off.

"KITTY YOU ARE IN PUBLIC!" Scott snapped, seeing what he thinks of as his little sister sucking the face off of his rival.

"Like Scott, no one here cares." Kitty stated.

"I care." Rogue said.

"It disgusts me." Wanda said.

"I feel dirty being near you two." Todd said.

"It scares me." Pietro said.

"I wish I hadn't gotten my parents arrested," Arcade groaned, "If I know I would have to hang around these two who can't keep their hands to themselves..."

"I am jealous." Good Fred sighed.

"Yo, don't worry you'll get a girl Freddy," Todd comforted his friend, "Just like I got my Sugar plum."

"DIE FROG BOY!" Wanda snapped and sent her signature hex bolt at Todd.

"I love your hex bolts, they give me this tingly feeling." Todd giggled.

"I hate my life." Wanda groaned.

"Kitty, Rogue, the Professor finally found Pyro, he is driving down the highway." Scott decided it was best to ignore the Brotherhood, "KITTY PAY ATTENTION!"

"I can like multi task Scooter." Kitty giggled and toyed with Lance's attempt at a beard.

"NOT IF YOU'RE MAKING THAT MUCH NOISE!" Scott yelled, "AND SCOOTER?"

"Did I say that out loud?" Kitty blinked.

"Yes." Rogue said and the Brotherhood nodded.

"WHY SCOOTER?" Scott asked.

"We like decided a simple stick couldn't like make you this bad so we figured like there was like a scooter shoved-" Kitty began only to have Lance and several others cover her mouth.

"WHAT? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY!" Scott asked.

"Nothing." Kitty giggled.

"Let's go get the pyromaniac." Rogue sighed and grabbed both Scott and Kitty. 'Scott's so cute when he's mad,' she thought to herself.

"Kitty tell me please!" Scott begged.

"Sorry I'm not suppose to say anything." Kitty giggled, still thinking about Scott and his scooter.

"Why not?" Scott asked.

"Rule number three of roommates. Never mention what others tell you when they are your roommates." Kitty shrugged. (A/N:3)

"So it's Rogue!" Scott shouted happy that he got through one step of figuring out what she was going to say, only to be knocked out by Rogue's 'accidental' touch.

"Oops, I slipped." Rogue smiled evilly, "Okay, I didn't need to know what he did with Jean."

"What'd he do?" Kitty ask in all her innocence.

"You don't want to know. I know and I don't want to know." Rogue groaned.

--------------------

**With St.John and Amara**

"Why are we stopping?" Amara asked, "Not that I'm complaining about stopping."

"Need gas." St.John shrugged.

"I think I'll go call the rest." Amara said and shakily stood up, "After I go to the restroom."

"Ooh, that gives me an idea for my book." St.John pulled his charred notebook out.

"Don't ask." Amara told herself.

"Hey buddy, you going to pay for that?" The gas station owner walked up to St.John who had yet to pay for the gas he was pumping out.

"No, used all my money at the restaurant to pay for the damages." St.John shrugged.

"Listen buddy." The owner picked St.John up by the shirt, "You pay or you die."

"ABUSE! ABUSE!" St.John screamed.

"LET THAT POOR BOY DOWN!" A old lady who was going one 97 shouted at the gas owner.

"Lady, he isn't paying." The man explained.

"DOESN'T MATTER IN MY DAY WE DIDN'T BEAT UP CUTE BOYS FOR NO REASON!" The woman pulled a cane out.

"Look, this is my establishment..." The man began only to get whacked.

"PUT HIM DOWN!" The woman screamed and kept whacking him.

"What's going on?" Amara walked out of the bathroom to see a man holding St.John up and a woman who should be in a nursing home hitting said man over the head with a cane.

"HELP ME, MY BURNING EAGLE!" St.John screamed which Amara responded to with a blush.

"Put him down." Amara ordered the man.

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GIRLS?" The man screamed as the woman gave him a black eye.

"Put him down now. I order you." Amara said in a dangerous voice.

"Look what do you care?" The man asked.

"It is a sin to ruin his good looks." The woman batted her eyes at St.John.

"He's my ride." Amara shrugged and flamed up, "Now drop him."

"Muties." The man said and dropped St.John.

"Uh, sheila, might want to put your fire out before you burn the place down." St.John said nervously as Amara walked closer to a pump, "Though that would be a mighty pretty fire."

"I think I'll burn down the place another time." Amara said and flamed off.

"Pretty burning eagle is gone." St.John pouted.

"Is he crazy?' The woman asked.

"Yes." St.John said.

"Wait crazy people don't admit they're crazy, so you claiming that means you aren't crazy, but to claim it you would have to be out of your mind." The man pondered.

"That's how I got the first Warden at the asylum to have to visit his own shrink." St.John giggled.

"I have never seen a guy giggle before." The man said.

"I have." St.John giggled.

--------------------

**Park**

"So what do you think is going to happen to Pyro?" Arcade asked the bored mutants.

"Who knows. Who cares." Wanda sighed as Todd attempted to get closer to her.

"i think he'll be stuck in a week long training session, when Wolverine conveniently forgets the password to the Danger Room." Pietro laughed at the thought.

"Doubtful, Wolverine is addicted to that thing. He couldn't go that long without using it." Lance said.

"Then he'll get stuck in there with Wolverine." Pietro laughed.

"That's even worse." Lance shuddered.

"I would pay to see that." Good Fred laughed.

"What is worse is that weather witch." Todd said remembering how she had attacked him.

"Only you are scared of her." Lance sighed.

"Says the person who went to school because she told him to." Pietro pointed out.

"You did to." Lance said.

"I wanted to." Pietro lied.

"Liar." Todd laughed and threw a arm around Wanda, "Right babe?"

"DIE!" Wanda shouted and hit him in the face.

"I think I lost a tooth." Todd whimpered.

"THAT ISN'T ALL YOU'LL LOSE IF YOU KEEP IT UP!" Wanda yelled.

--------------------

**Gas Station**

"Amazing how fast we got here." Kitty said.

"Never let Kitty drive." Scott gasped.

"The trees, so fast." Rogue staggered out of Scott's car for that week.

"THANK GOD! I DON'T HAVE TO RIDE WITH ST.JOHN AGAIN!" Amara ran up to the three.

"What's wrong with riding with me?" St.John asked as he tried to figure out how to start the bike again.

"Do speed limits mean anything to you?" Amara answered with a question.

"Sure, they are minimum speeds." St.John shrugged.

"That explains so much." Amara groaned.

"John." Scott stood shakily, faced the trouble maker, and started lecturing, "What you have done today was bad. You could have hurt someone-"

"ZZZ" St.John mock snored.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Scott screamed.

"St.John, don't burn the town down again." Amara said.

"Okay my lovely burning eagle." St.John smiled at her.

"WHY DO YOU LISTEN TO HER AND NOT ME!" Scott screamed.

"Lovely burning eagle?" Kitty asked.

"Don't ask." Amara sighed.

"She just did." Rogue said.

"His nickname for me." Amara sighed, "Kinda cute though."

"That's weird." Rogue said, "We should get back to the Mansion."

"I'LL DRIVE!" Kitty squealed and hopped into the driver's seat.

"I'll ride with St.John." Amara turned back to St.John and his bike.

"I wish I could do the same." Rogue sighed, "Kitty maybe Scott should drive."

"I can get us back don't worry, haven't had a wreck yet." Kitty giggled, "Phasing is useful."

"You haven't been in any but you have caused a bunch." Rogue grumbled as she and Scott got in the car.

"WEE!" Kitty and St.John squealed and took off.

"AHHH!" Scott, Rogue, and Amara screamed.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house that night.**

'Ding don-' The door bell failed to finish.

"Someone getting that?" Lance asked.

"IT'S THE PIZZA I ORDERED!" Good Fred ran to the door.

"That'll be five hundred dollars." The pizza boy said holding the handles of the hand truck filled with pizzas, "We gave you a twenty dollar discount for being a frequent customer."

"That's put it on Kelly's tab." Good Fred took the hand truck and pizzas inside.

"TIME TO EAT!" He screamed into the house.

"FOOD!" And the race was on.

--------------------

**10 minutes later.**

"That was good." Todd moaned from a chair.

"Yup." Lance agreed as he tried to eat another veggie lover's slice.

"Their sausage is the best in town." Wanda agreed, hexing a box into a large stack in the corner, one which was held up by improbability.

"So who's gonna throw the boxes out?" Arcade asked.

"We don't waste our boxes." Pietro scoffed.

"They keep us warm in the winter." Lance explained.

"Oh, that explains it." Arcade nodded to another stack of pizza boxes, touching the roof.

"Good night." Pietro yawned, "I need my beauty sleep."

"You're gonna hibernate?" Good Fred scratched his head.

"NO!" Pietro snapped.

"Yo he's going into a coma if he wants to be beautiful." Todd laughed, "Wanda got all the looks in that family."

"Aren't you going to hex him?" Pietro asked after his sister didn't make a move to punish Todd.

"He's telling the truth, I have all the looks." Wanda shrugged.

"WHAT? I AM TEN TIMES AS GOOD LOOKING AS YOU!" Pietro snapped, "AREN'T I LANCE?" He asked the mutant who wasn't talking.

"I would do Wanda before I did you." Lance shrugged, "But Kitty..."

"Okay..." Pietro was shocked.

"Not right." Wanda groaned.

"I'm going to bed." Arcade groaned.

"Me to." Good Fred groaned and left.

"Don't stay up all night talking to Kitty." Wanda sighed.

"Sugar plum do you need me to-" Todd began only to be cut off by a hex.

"We need light bulbs." Lance muttered as he cut off the TV and the only source of light.

--------------------

**Basement**

"Don't those idiots know it is a waste of power to keep a computer on all night?" Marvin asked himself before contemplating what life was and why it sucked.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"I SAID 'WE SHALL CROSS THE ALPS WITH ELEPHANTS!'" Jamie #3 screamed at a subordinate.

"I thought you said with elegance." The enslaved general shrugged, "Don't worry we still have half the army.

"I am never going to take over the world." Jamie #3 moaned.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: If you can't figure out that this is a parody of RedHat Linux you aren't a geek like me. If you can't figure out what Doors is ... You aren't from this century._

_2: St.John's views on duct tape do not reflect the author's. I think duct tape art is okay no matter what. Except in wallets, they aren't art but practical items and must be silver._

_3: Me and some friends actually wrote out a bunch of rules._

_PLEASE review._

_Send in Ideas I have up to chapter 44 planned (Various other spread throughout the year about 117 chapters planned in total, some most might be cut out though) 365 days in a year, 365 chapters._


	13. Sept 6, Fountain of Youth

_Disclaimer: Thou disclaimith what thy do not ownith. Thus thou disclaimith this, that is not ownith by thee._

_Much of this chapter was written at 1 in the morning after watching both MIBs, it turned out surprisingly sane._

**September 06 - Wednesday - Fountain of Youth**

--------------------

**Brotherhood house crack of dawn.**

'Beep.' The alarm clocks woke the mutants and human.

"I hate those things." Wanda hexed hers into an early grave.

"DIE!" Good Fred jumped on his.

'Phatoo' Todd slimmed his.

'Splash' Pietro dropped his in the middle of the ocean.

'TWANG!' Lance opened a crack into the earth burying it.

'BANG' Arcade shot his.

"I'm going back to bed." Todd, Good Fred and Arcade all groaned.

--------------------

**Kitchen, Wanda, Pietro, and Lance.**

"So are we going to school?" Pietro asked the other two non lazy ones.

"It burned down, remember?" Lance sighed.

"Oh right forgot." Pietro laughed and speed of to a local waffle house to get his food.

"Go get the mail." Wanda order Lance as she used her hexes to make her cereal pour itself.

"Do this, do that." Lance grumbled as he got the mail, "Since when do we get mail?"

"HEY! We got something from Arizona!' Lance ran back into Wanda and a newly returned Pietro.

"Really? From who?" Wanda asked.

"Says it's from Todd." Lance read, "'Help me and Freddy and the computer kid are trapped in a post office in Arizona. Blame Forge.'" (_A/N:1_)

"WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM! FREDDY WAS GOING TO COOK TO NIGHT!" Wanda jumped up and shouted.

"YEAH HE WAS COOKING SNAILS AND FROG LEGS!" Pietro yelled.

"He decided not to do frog legs after Toad overheard him." Lance pointed out.

"For someone who claims there is a difference between frogs and toads, Toad sure is sensitive about frogs." Wanda said.

"Didn't we just rescue these three a few days ago?" Lance asked no one.

"How'd they get there in a night?" Pietro asked.

"IT WAS FORGE AGAIN!" Wanda snapped, "THAT MUTANT CAN'T KEEP HIS INVENTIONS TO HIMSELF!"

"So, how are we getting to Arizona this time?" Lance asked.

"Same as last time. Steal the X-jet from the X-Jerks." Wanda said and finished off her breakfast.

"We crashed the X-jet last time." Lance pointed out.

"We'll use the Blackbird then." Wanda shrugged, "Both can get us there fast." And with that the three mutants left for the X-Mansion.

--------------------

**10 minutes later.**

"Where are the others?" Arcade asked the two other lazy people who had been chased from bed via demonic alarm clocks.

"Who knows." Todd said as he cornered a cockroach.

"NO REMEMBER LAST TIME!" Good Fred screamed and saved the roach, which was just a regular bug.

"Oh right forgot." Todd muttered and snagged a fly.

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

'DING DONG!' The X-man doorbell could finish its ring unlike the Brotherhood doorbell.

"Do all the X-Geeks sleep in?" Pietro asked.

"They have morning training sessions." Lance said.

"I'm tired of waiting." Wanda snapped, "One witches entrance coming up." She began to wave her arms causing the gate to bend and twist onto itself.

"Nice, you could give your dad a run for his money." Lance said amazed at the perfect Celtic knot Wanda had made from the gates.

"I know, I have been practicing." Wanda said as she marched up the path, hexing security lasers that opposed her.

--------------------

**Outside the Danger Room**

"Do you hear an alarm?" Scott asked his exhausted team.

"Who cares." Rogue grumbled.

"Hopefully they have come to put us out of our misery." Kurt groaned.

"No more joint sessions where both Scott and Logan are teaching." Jean moaned as she stumbled along.

"That was fun mates." St.John laughed.

"John," Piotr turned to his friend, "You have to much energy for your own good."

"So?" St.John asked, "Magneto didn't care that much."

"You turned Magneto into an ALCOHOLIC, then he joined you in having to much energy." Piotr said before heading off to a bathroom.

"Who wants to burn something?" St.John laughed.

"We could have another session." Scott said hopeful.

"Don't you have college?" Jean asked.

"I'm thinking of dropping out to have more sessions." Scott shrugged.

"No, the danger room is mine." Logan hissed.

"What?" Scott gasped, "Bu-bu-but my sessions..."

"No." Logan went to grab a beer and a steak.

"Off to college." Jean said and dragged her boyfriend away from the danger room.

"I am kinda glad the school burned down." Bobby grunted and headed to his room.

"Thanks Johnny I owe you one." Kurt laughed and bamfed to his room.

"Shut it, we aren't suppose to mention that." Kitty snapped, "The lawyers clearly said 'DENY EVERYTHING!'"

"Sleep." Rogue said and walked like a zombie to her and Kitty's room.

"I am so glad us New Mutants don't have to do morning sessions today." Amara laughed.

"If you don't have sessions, why are you up?" Kitty asked as St.John made funny faces at her behind her back.

"Uh no reason." Amara giggled and left.

"What?" Kitty asked clueless before leaving, "Might as well sleep."

--------------------

**Driveway, Scott and Jean.**

"What happened to the gate?" Scott asked as they drove by the ruined gate, not noticing the Brotherhood ringing the doorbell at the actual door.

--------------------

**Main hall**

"What burns?" St.John asked as he wandered around.

'DING DONG'

"Visitors? I hope it is the mail man. He always has the best kindling." St.John opened the door.

"Hello Pyro." Wanda said.

"Sorry my sweet Wanda." St.John said, "I have moved on, I no longer am inspired by you."

"THANK YOU JESUS NOW HAVE TOAD ACT LIKE PYRO..." Wanda yelled raising her hands to the sky, "Uh, without the whole pyromaniac thing..."

"We aren't here for your love lives." Lance sighed, "By the way where is Kitty?"

"Not here for love lives?" Pietro laughed and sped inside, "Jubilee, where for art thou?"

"Alright Romeos." Wanda grabbed Pietro before he sped off again, "Pyro, we need to barrow the Blackbird to get to Arizona."

"Wanda, you don't get to fly this time." Lance gasped just realizing that they were doing something very similar to last time.

"Or you Lance, you are afraid of heights, I doubt you could fly that well." Pietro laughed.

"And defiantly not you, brother." Wanda said.

"I'll fly." St.John volunteered.

"Better than anyone else." Lance shrugged.

"True." Wanda nodded, "Okay, we will let the crazy person, who has burned down half the town, fly us across the country. To rescue a stalker, a pile of lard, and a computer obsessed geek."

"That makes it sound bad." St.John complained.

"Let's get this over with." Lance sighed.

"For a psychic Baldy doesn't seem to be that aware of his surroundings." Pietro said as the group went to the hanger, passing the kitchen where Logan was drinking Beer.

--------------------

**Hanger**

"Can you fly this thing?" Lance asked as they boarded the Blackbird.

"I got a crash course in all the vehicles." St.John laughed.

"I hope he wasn't being literally." Pietro mumbled.

"I am always literal." St.John said seriously.

"Eep." The three Brotherhood members eeped.

"Which way to Arizona?" St.John asked from the pilot's seat.

"I have bad feeling about this." Lance sighed.

"STOP!" Piotr ran into the hanger, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING JOHN?"

"Going for a joy ride, and these three need help getting there friends." St.John pointed to the Brotherhood.

"Please help us Tin Man." Wanda begged in a very un-Wanda like fashion, with the puppy dog eyes and the eyelashes, the whole nine yards, with and extra two feet for safe measures.

"Of course, I am a gentleman I do whatever a lady wishes." Piotr gave a small bow and boarded the blackbird, "I have always wondered, is this considered a helicopter or a jet? It has those engines in back."

"Peter drives." Lance said.

"Pilots." Wanda corrected, "It is a plane, Peter will pilot."

"Wouldn't it be fly?" Pietro asked.

"We're burning candle light let's go." Lance grabbed the other two and boarded the plane.

"Burning? Where?" St.John asked.

"Just fly." Lance ordered Piotr.

"Pilots." Wanda corrected.

"Who cares?" Piotr asked.

--------------------

**Xavier's Room.**

"AH!" Xavier shot up as the Blackbird took off, "Did the Brotherhood steal another vehicle?"

"Yes." Ororo walked in carrying his breakfast, "Even if you are paralyzed, couldn't you get a student to get your own food instead of me?"

"No." Xavier said, "Go place an order for a new Blackbird. I have a feeling we won't get this one back."

"Why do I stay here?" Ororo asked herself, "I got more respect as a goddess."

--------------------

**Blackbird**

"Turn that way." St.John ordered, having been put on navigation duty.

"Okay," Piotr turned, "I must have had American geography messed up. I thought Arizona was west not south of us."

"Checkmate." Lance said, beating Pietro for the fifth time since they took off, five minutes ago.

"I can't hear our pilots." Wanda said starring at the two former Acolytes.

"Who cares." Pietro shrugged.

"For once I am not airsick." Lance said, "Why are we flying south?"

"Who cares?" Pietro asked.

"No one." Wanda said before beating Lance in under five moves.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

"So what do you want to do?" Todd asked the other two as they sat watching TV.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Good Fred asked.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Arcade asked.

"I am sensing a pattern." Todd said watching a fly.

"This is boring." Good Fred complained.

"This is safe." Arcade sighed, "No cockroaches, quasi-secret quasi-governmental agencies, mutant geniuses, teleportation, crazed sugar hyped mutant duplicators, and MY PARENTS AREN'T HERE! HAHA!"

"Yo, at first his parental problems were funny," Todd said, "but now it is just disturbing."

"Preach on brother, preach on." Good Fred watched as Arcade enter rant mode, "Want to eat some more?"

"No, that last ant filled me up." Todd said as Good Fred got his body mass moving.

--------------------

**Blackbird**

"I didn't know that this could go this fast." Wanda said as the Blackbird hit a milestone in aviation speed.

"I wish I didn't know." Lance moaned, "So much for not being air sick."

"JOHN LET GO OF THE GAS!" Piotr screamed from the cabin.

"YOU WERE GOING TO SLOW!" St.John laughed, "THIS BABY CAN GO FASTER!"

"This is slow." Pietro yawned and sat back to relax.

"Oh lookie an ocean." Lance groaned, "Since when has there been an ocean in Arizona?"

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"Who wants to prank call people?" Arcade finally calmed down.

"ME ME!" Good Fred shouted, jumping from foot to foot.

"Here." Arcade tossed him the hand set.

"Put it on speaker phone." Todd laughed.

"Okay." Good Fred managed to push the button, "This button, then the is one..." He began to enter a phone number.

"Hello Xavier's circus side show. Please state your name business and what you can do to bring in spectators. Remember being a freak isn't that bad." Bobby greeted them.

"Is your fridge running?" Good Fred asked him.

"Is this a prank call?" Bobby sighed.

"Yes, now answer. Is your fridge running?" Good Fred asked again.

"No, in fact Logan got mad when he ran out of beer and sliced it in half." Bobby sighed.

"You weren't suppose to say that." Good Fred said, "You were suppose to say 'yes' then I say 'Than you better go catch it.' then I hang up."

"Good bye." Bobby hung up.

"How rude." Todd said.

"Call Kelly." Good Fred ordered Todd.

"Hello, Kelly here. Your representative in the government." Kelly answered, "Tired of mutants and other freaks? Vote me in and we will kill them all."

"Is your fridge running?" Todd asked.

"How original." Arcade muttered.

"I KNOW THAT VOICE!" Kelly yelled, "YOU DIRTY MUTANT! WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME! GET OFF THE PHONE YOU FREAK OF NATURE!"

"KELLY!" A very rich backer of Kelly walked into the office to see Kelly screaming into a phone.

"Uh, look it isn't how it appears."

"How could you Kelly." Arcade lied into the phone, "I was going to vote for you but accusing me of being a mutant. You can count on me to vote for the other guy."

"But but...?" Kelly stuttered.

"I can't back you if you keep driving away votes." The rich backer left Kelly.

"Not again." Kelly moaned as the Brotherhood hung up.

--------------------

**Blackbird**

"Is that Myrtle Beach?" Wanda asked starring at the ground.

"It is." Pietro looked out a window.

"Make it stop." Lance groaned.

"I think we are lost." Piotr groaned. "How can you not find an entire state?"

"We, let's see what do we know about American Geography?" St.John asked.

"New York is just below Canada?" Piotr said.

"Right. Where is Arizona." St.John asked.

"We, let's see. It's a desert..." Piotr thought.

"So it is hot, and to get hot you have to go south." St.John said, "So we are headed in the right direction."

"Okay. I trust you." Piotr sighed, "Despite what my instincts tell me."

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Duncan can be so rude." Good Fred sighed as he hung up.

"I'll say, did you hear his language." Todd said, shocked that his innocence was ruined, again.

"Who's next?" Arcade asked.

"Let's use the phone book." Good Fred pulled a half eaten phone book out of the drawer.

"That is odd." Arcade said.

"Bond James Bond." Good Fred read the name his finger had landed on.

--------------------

**Florida swamp.**

"Okay, we are lost." Wanda said after the group landed to ask for directions, and gas.

"I'll say, look the sigh says this is Florida." Lance pointed to a say that said 'This is Florida, where old folk search for the fountain of youth in their retirement. And pot dealers rule.'

"Okay..." Piotr read the sign, "We need to get more fuel might as well refuel here."

"Who sales airplane fuel around here?" Lance looked at the swamp they were in.

"Perhaps it would be best to buy tickets on a commercial plane. We might end up in Russia if we try flying again." Wanda sighed.

"Mother Russia?" Piotr asked, "Can we go there?"

"No." St.John laughed, "Does swamp gas burn?"

"NO!" Everyone shouted to stop him from trying.

"It doesn't darn." St.John pouted.

"Let's start walking." Lance sighed and picked a random direction to walk.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"Why is an English guy in the Bayville phone book?" Arcade asked the other two when they hung up.

"Don't know. It's lunch time." Good Fred said and headed to the kitchen, "We're out of food."

"Pizza, Chinese, or Mexican?" Todd asked.

"Chinese." Arcade decided.

"I know this new one that opened up to replace the one that closed down on Main street." Good Fred said. (_A/N:2_)

"Good idea opening the same type of store as the one that just closed down." Arcade laughed at that lack of logic. (_A/N:3_)

--------------------

**Florida**

"Let's try that house." Piotr pointed to a house where two old people were in rocking chairs.

"In my day girls didn't wear that much make up." The old lady said glaring at Wanda.

"WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT GRANNY?" Wanda snapped.

"Please, Wanda behave." Piotr sighed, "Missus, we wish to know how to get to Arizona, and where we may acquire jet fuel."

"Arizona is on the other side of the country boy." The old man said, "As for jet fuel have to ask the naval base for it."

"That you." Piotr smiled not noticing the old woman and Wanda getting into a fight.

"HEY BILL THIS FREAKY GIRL IS A MUTIE!" The woman screamed after being hexed.

"CALL THE COPS!" Bill shouted to no one.

"YOU CALL 'EM I AM GOING TO SHOW THIS GIRL WHAT WE DO TO MUTIES!" The old lady jumped on Wanda.

"What is the number for nine one one?" Bil stared at the phone.

"Try nine one one." Piotr suggested.

"Why would it be that?" Bill asked.

"I don't know." Piotr shrugged.

"Good a guess as mine." Bill dialed.

"Hello, police." A voice greeted them.

"A hot witch is beating my wife up." Bill said.

"Bill is that you?" The cop sighed.

"Yes."

"Have you been drinking again?" The cop asked.

"A little." Bill admitted.

"Go to bed Bill." The cop hung up.

"Now who is going to help us?" Bill asked.

"Try calling the operator." St.John suggested.

"Hello operator?" Bill dialed the operator.

"Yes. How may I help you." The operator answered without emotion.

"A hot witch is beating my wife up. Who is the local authority on such things?" Bill asked.

"The LAST. You can reach them at star one three." The operator said without emotion, "Do wish for me to connect to them for you?"

"Yes please." Bill said.

"Hello Florida LAST office. Haltrut speaking." Haltrut answered.

"A hot witch is beating my wife up, can you help." Bill said.

"First off, are you drunk?" Haltrut asked.

"I had two beers." Bill admitted.

"Okay that would be a tipsy." Haltrut muttered, "Is anyone a mutant?"

"The hot witch who is beating my wife up is." Bill said.

"SO AM I!" St.John shouted into the handset.

"ME TO!" Pietro laughed into the phone.

"Me to." Piotr said calmly.

"I am to." Lance shrugged.

"Yes lots of mutants here." Bill said.

"Okay, I'll see if the boss wants to send the omega team." Haltrut said, "Please hold."

--------------------

**Florida LAST office.**

"HEY MEDUSA!" Haltrut yelled.

"WHAT?" The clone of the Medusa of myth yelled back.

"Should we send omega team out to this call?" Haltrut asked, "A hot witch is beating a man's wife up."

"Sure whatever." Medusa shrugged and turned back to the want ads.

"VIVILLIA! JARED! Y'ALL HAVE A MISSION!" Haltrut yelled farther into the base, "DON'T MESS UP LIKE THE TIME WITH THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!"

"WE WON'T!" Both yelled back remembering the accident that had forever stuck them at the age of 19.

"Are you still there?" Haltrut turned back to the phone.

"Yes." Bill answered.

"Two agents are on there way." Haltrut hung up and began searching the want ads, "Here's a sane job, asylum security guard."

--------------------

**Bill and the old Lady's house, in Florida.**

"Pawn takes pawn." Wanda said to the old lady as the two played chess after their fight.

"Maybe I should tell those nice LAST people that we don't need them anymore?" Bill asked himself as he got St.John same beer.

"This isn't beer, it's water." St.John pouted.

"Someone call for their LAST hope?" Jared knocked the door over.

"That was pathetic." Vivillia sighed, "Besides their last hope is the Alpha team, not us."

"YOU COME UP WITH A CATCH SAYING!" Jared yelled.

"We don't need a catch saying." Vivillia said.

"Yes we do. The men in black have one." Jared said.

"They are fake." Vivillia pointed out.

"So?"

"We are real." Vivillia sighed.

"I told you already. We are a dream in an intergalactic mushroom eating monkey." Jared sighed.

"While that explains the world's craziness," Vivillia sighed, "It is unscientific."

"So is the fountain of youth." Jared pointed out, "If you had just believed we wouldn't be stuck this young."

"Shut it." Vivillia sighed, "We are here to help."

"The fights over." Bill told them, "Want some crayfish?"

"Sure." Jared grabbed a handful.

"Okay." Vivillia grabbed a larger handful.

"So the fights over." Jared said looking at the two fighters, "So that's the hot witch. She is hot."

"JARED! YOU ARE FORTY YEARS OLD!" Vivillia snapped.

"But the fountain of youth-" Jared began.

"DOES NOT MATTER!" Vivillia slapped him.

"Uh weird LAST guys." Wanda said nervously as the two agents fought, "You guys are suppose to help people right."

"Right." Vivillia turned from a bleeding Jared.

"Can you get us some jet fuel, and a map to Arizona?" Wanda asked.

"Sure." Jared handed her a map, slightly bloody.

"Why do you carry a map to Arizona around?" Vivillia asked.

"No reason." Jared shrugged, "That fortune teller at the carnival last year said it would come in handy."

"Okay..." Vivillia groaned.

"About the jet fuel?" Wanda asked.

"Didn't we leave some by the fountain?" Vivillia asked Jared.

"Yup, right before you pushed me in we put it there." Jared nodded.

"You pushed me in." Vivillia grunted.

"No you pushed me in, then I pulled you in." Jared said.

"Oh right forgot." Vivillia nodded.

"Okay, where is the fountain of youth?" Lance asked.

"Just north of here." Jared pointed south.

"That's south." St.John said.

"Oh right." Jared turned his entire body around 180 degrees.

"We are going to get lost aren't we?" Wanda groaned.

"Oh yeah." Vivillia nodded.

"Come back now y'all." Bill smiled and handed each person a sandwich.

"I will beat you in a rematch." The old lady grunted looking at the chess board.

--------------------

**Main street Bayville.**

"I hope Duncan doesn't mind us borrowing his car." Arcade said as he got out of the stolen car, "And why is it that all of you Brotherhood guys know how to hot wire a car?"

"Whenever Lance went into a Kitty daze we had to steal his car to get food." Good Fred said.

"Oh right." Arcade nodded.

"Here it is." Good Fred smiled at the restaurant, "Hope they got rid of the ghost."

--------------------

**Secret Florida trail leading to the Fountain of Youth.**

"Why are we following them?" Pietro asked, "We don't know their names."

"The guy is Jared." Wanda said, "Remember the girl yelled at him for calling me hot. Not that I minded."

"Normally you would kill someone for saying that." Lance said.

"I know." Wanda shrugged, "I think the swamp fumes are going to my head."

"HEY CHICK! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!" Pietro yelled at Vivillia.

"Vivillia, call me Viv cutie." Vivillia said and winked at Pietro.

"Please don't hit on my brother when I am in ear shot." Wanda groaned.

"You were hitting on him." Pietro pointed at Jared.

"Was not." Wanda defended, "I merely said I didn't mind."

"HE'S 40 ACCORDING TO HER!" Pietro snapped waving his arms at the two agents.

"Should we stop this?" Piotr asked.

"No." Lance cautioned, "Best to let them tear each other apart now." Lance turned to the combatants, "I CALL PIETRO'S STEREO!"

"I MIGHT WIN!" Pietro snapped.

"I wish I had the video camera." St.John sighed, "At least it burned well."

"DIE PIETRO!" Wanda shot a hex bolt at him.

"Do they always fight?" Vivillia asked the mutants that weren't fighting.

"Yes." Lance nodded.

"I am glad I decided to live with the X-men." St.John laughed watching the two fight, aka Wanda beating up Pietro.

"Beats cable." Lance shrugged, "Much better than wrestling."

"I still think we should stop them." Piotr said.

"Do you want Wanda to magnetize you in the middle of a kitchen?" Lance asked. (A/N:4)

"No." Piotr replied.

"Then don't interfere." Lance said.

"She's so cute when she's mad." Jared sighed.

"DUDE YOU ARE FORTY!" Vivillia yelled.

"You hit on the boy." Jared said.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!" Vivillia shouted.

"How?" Jared asked.

"Uh..." Vivillia thought, "I am going to blame the teenager hormones for my actions."

"If you can do that so can I." Jared stated.

"Fine." Vivillia sighed.

"Do all people in your business have similar stories as you guys?" Lance asked.

"Most." Vivillia sighed.

"Don't even ask about the heads in DC." Jared laughed, "That is so messed up it isn't even funny."

"Then why are you laughing?" St.John asked.

"Huh?" Jared blinked.

"If it is so messed up that it isn't funny. Why are you laughing like it is funny?" St.John said.

"I don't know." Jared said slowly.

--------------------

**Chinese restaurant**

"Did you feel a blast of cold air?" Arcade asked walking in.

"Yes." Todd nodded looking around and pointed to a statue of a one eyed man, "That seems creepy."

"That is very similar to the picture of the guy that was murdered in the last store." Good Fred said.

"Welcome." A slightly green skinned girl said from behind a counter.

"We would like a seat." Arcade gulped.

"Very well." The girl led them into the empty seating area, "A waiter will be right with you."

"I will be your waiter today." A man with an eye patch walked up to them.

"I'll have the chicken." Good Fred said.

"Very good choice." The man grunted through clenched teeth.

"Just water." Arcade whimpered.

"Whatever is in those roach motels you have in the corner." Todd said.

"Very good sirs, it will be right out." The waiter turned to leave, "By the way the bathroom is over there." he pointed to a short dark dingy hallway.

"Okay, no one is to become separate from the group." Arcade said.

"Right." Todd agreed.

"Why not?" Good Fred asked clueless.

"Whose idea was this?" Arcade said seeing the green girl pick up the roach motels.

"Freddy's." Todd whimpered as he watched a Chinese man bring out Arcade's water. The man's feet weren't touching the ground.

"I wonder why people think this place is haunted?" Good Fred asked.

"Here you go sir." The green lady smiled at Todd and handed him his roaches.

"Thank you." Todd smiled at her and after she left added, "That girl has a lovely skin tone."

"Here's your water." A floating man handed Arcade a glass.

"Thanks." Arcade gulped seeing that he wasn't touching the ground.

"Your chicken sir." The man with the eye patch grunted as he handed Good Fred his a large plate of chicken.

"Wow this is a lot." Good Fred stared at it, "Why is it human shaped?"

"Freddy, Toad." Arcade gulped as the serving staff started circling around.

"I'll miss Wanda." Todd groaned.

"To the living challenged, may they be merciful to us living gifted." Arcade gulped.

"Hey cutie." The green girl ran a hand through Todd's hair.

"MARCY!" The floating man yelled, "BEHAVE WE ARE HERE TO TORTURE THESE SOULS FOR THE PAIN THAT WE HAVE ENDURED!"

"What pain?" Marcy asked.

"THE PAIN OF NOT BEING DEAD!" The one eye man screamed.

"But these guys did nothing." The girl pointed out, "And besides all our murderers have been put on the electric chair."

"Not mine, mine got the needle." The floating man said.

"Mine committed suicide a day before he was to be executed." The one eye man said.

"Still we got justice." The girl said giving Todd a full head massage, "And we don't feel pain so how is being undead torture?"

"LOOK WE ARE GHOSTS!" The floating man yelled.

"I'm a zombie." The one eye man said.

"I'm a vampire." The girl said.

"WHAT!" Todd screamed.

"Don't worry I only drink bugs blood." The girl pinched his cheek.

"Aren't vampires pale." Arcade said.

"Well in most cases." The girl scuffed her feet.

"She means to say that she failed at being a vampire and turned green from the bugs." The ghost sighed.

"Can we leave?" Arcade asked eying the entrance.

"Fine." The one eye man grunted, "Just throw away our plans for revenge on the living."

"I should ask fuzzy about exorcism." Todd said, "Not for you Marcy, for the others."

"What can you do, the ghost is my dad, and the zombie is my brother." The girl shrugged, "See you around."

"Toad, I forbid you from bringing her into the house." Arcade said.

"What was that about?" Good Fred asked finishing his chicken.

"Uh, zombie dude, what was that chicken?" Arcade asked.

"Just some stuff lying in the back, I carved it into that shape don't worry." The zombie shrugged.

"Good bye." Todd grabbed the other two and left, "See you later cutie!"

"I forbid you from seeing the living." The ghost, her dad, said.

"Why not, he's so cute." Marcy complained.

"Because." The ghost floated away, "Son, remind me never to help you in a revenge scheme."

"But it would have worked if Marcy hadn't gone googoo eyes over the frog." The zombie complained.

"HE WASN'T A FROG!" Marcy snapped, "He was a toad, they are much cuter."

"Go back to your coffin." The ghost ordered.

--------------------

**Bayville street.**

"Never again." Arcade swore, "Never again will I eat at a haunted restaurant."

"She was cute." Todd sighed.

"Good chicken." Good Fred said.

"DON'T EITHER OF YOU CARE THAT WE ALMOST GOT EATEN?" Arcade screamed.

"When did that happen?" Good Fred asked.

"But the girl saved us." Todd sighed, "Marcy..."

"Okay, Freddy doesn't pay attention and Todd is easily distracted." Arcade moaned, "I will not live to be twenty if I hang out with these guys."

--------------------

**Florida**

"How much farther?" St.John complained.

"John be glad they are helping us. They do not have to." Piotr scolded.

"We've been walking so long." St.John complained, "I just wanna get to Arizona where everything burns quickly."

"I knew there was a reason he was helping us." Lance muttered.

"Here we are." Jared said proudly as he waved his arms at a fountain with a green gold statue of a baby, that do to the running water of the fountain had eroded to a small mound of gold. Not that impressive. Beside the fountain was illegally stored barrels of highly flammable Jet-Fuel, which some sadistic person had marked as flammable hoping a pyromaniac would see the warning and ignore it. Luckily St.John has a little more control than that.

"That's the fountain of youth?" Wanda asked examining the fountain.

"Seems kinda bland." Pietro scoffed, "The gold has turned green. And what is with the mud in the larva?"

"Bugs come to lay their eggs and accidentally get reverted to larva and can never grow beyond that." Vivillia explained.

"And the government is trying to discourage people from drinking from it by putting larva in there." Jared added.

"Man I am thirsty." St.John walked up to the fountain ignoring the multiple warnings and bugs.

"NO JOHN!" Piotr grabbed St.John.

"Let go." St.John pulled himself from Piotr's grasp, tripping on some larva which had died once exiting the water and dehydrating. "AH!" and of course St.John fell in grabbing Piotr to stop him.

"DON'T GRAB ME!" Piotr screamed as St.John pulled him in.

"This remind me of something." Vivillia muttered watching the scene unfold.

"I was already in the water before I pulled you in." Jared said, "These guys fell in at the same time."

"I CAN'T SWIM!" St.John screamed.

"It is only a foot deep." Piotr sighed.

"AH! I AM DROWNING! SAVE ME HOT SECRET GOVERNMENT AGENCY WORKER!" St.John screamed.

"What?" Vivilla asked her voice eerily similar to Wanda's.

"SAVE ME SOME ONE!" St.John screamed.

"Fine." Piotr groaned and grabbed St.John, dragging him to the edge."

"You two seem smaller." Lance said looking at the two mutants in ill fitting clothes.

"I feel sixteen again." St.John laughed.

"You probably are." Vivillia said.

"Aren't you two at all concerned about this?" Wanda asked the two agents.

"Not really." Jared shrugged.

"Y'all are the ones who have to live with those two as teenagers." Vivillia said, "With teenage hormones." she added to Wanda, nodding in the direction of St.John.

"Great." Wanda moaned.

"Let's just get the fuel, and a map to Arizona." Lance groaned realizing that Piotr could now legally compete for Kitty.

"All righty then, who is going to carry it?" Jared said looking at the large barrels.

"Petey-" St.John began.

"Why am I always the pack mule?" Piotr asked picking up four barrels, "I could get six if I was still bigger."

"Four will get us there though? Right?" Wanda asked.

"I don't know, I have only just figured out how to fly it. Not refuel it or how much fuel it uses." Piotr said.

"Great." Lance groaned.

"What's life without some uncertainties?" St.John laughed.

"Safe?" Lance asked.

"Actually living?" Wanda asked.

"Both are over rated." St.John laughed, "I love being younger."

"How many years did you lose?" Lance asked.

"Nineish." St.John said.

"And yet he is as mature as he was." Piotr muttered when St.John started to play with baby ants.

--------------------

**Bayville.**

"Now what?" Arcade asked the two mutants.

"Arcade?" Todd asked.

"What?" Arcade responded.

"No I meant go to the Arcade." Todd said.

"Oh right." Arcade nodded, "I will beat you at any game."

"Is that a challenge?" Todd pulled himself up to his full height.

"Yes." Arcade said calmly.

"Bring it little man." Todd accepted his challenge.

"How can you call me little? I am taller than you." Arcade said.

"I am taller than both so stop fighting." Good Fred intervened before Todd answered.

"Fine, how are we getting there?" Arcade asked.

"Walk." Good Fred said.

"Steal a car." Todd said at the same time.

"It's right there." Good Fred pointed to the Arcade.

"Yo, I wanted to hot wire another car." Todd said.

"On the way home." Arcade said. "Did I just con don stealing? Did I just call the boarding house home?"

"Yes and yes." Good Fred said and opened the door.

"YO THEY HAVE BUGS IN THE CORNER!" Todd shouted when he saw cockroaches in the corner, causing a small riot of angry soccer moms who had brought their kids to the arcade.

"WHAT KIND OF ESTABLISHMENT IS THIS!" An angry mom screamed grabbing her child away from the grimy controls of a game.

"One that can't afford a janitor." The sole worker said.

--------------------

**Florida**

"I think we are lost." Piotr said after the group had passed the same tree for the sixth time in a couple of minutes.

"We are not lost." Jared said looking around.

"You know I am impressed." Vivillia said to Wanda, "Those two are handling losing a few years of their age better than me and Jared did. And a lot better than Nicole."

"Who?" Wanda asked as the men tried to figure out where they were.

"Another agent she fell into the fountain saving me and Jared." Vivillia shrugged, "All three of us had psychotic episodes shortly after that. She quit and is now working for some secret club thing, Hell something or another."

"Maybe they are still in shock. They might have their episodes later." Wanda said watching St.John burn a small tree, "Though Pyro might not notice anything different."

"He is very weird." Vivillia agreed as St.John burned a small bush, "Does he know that this is a state park?"

"No." Wanda replied, "And he doesn't care."

"Okay heads we go left, tails we go right." Jared flipped a coin allowing it to fall to the ground, "Okay what is the probability that it would land on its edge."

"Anything is possible." Wanda said walking over to the guys, "Let's go right as we have gone left the last six times."

"Fine use logic!" Jared said throwing his hands into the air, "What is life without logic!"

"Chaos?" Piotr asked.

"BORING!" Jared and St.John shouted at the same time.

"This is my partner." Vivillia groaned.

"Mystique wants me to recruit him?" Lance asked himself.

"What?" Wanda asked Lance.

"Uhh." Lance glanced around nervously.

"Did you say, 'Mystique wants me to recruit him?'" Wanda asked, "Referring to John. Further implying that you have had contact with my father's supporter?"

"No." Lance lied.

"Good." Wanda hissed.

"This way." Jared proudly lead the group right.

"We will never rescue the others." Pietro mumbled.

"Nope." Pietro agreed, "I am running to Arizona." and with that Pietro was gone. It took him five seconds to find his way out of the park.

"Who wants to bet that Pietro is off to see some hot Russian chick?" Lance asked.

"I am willing to bet she is Chinese." Piotr said.

"I'm going to have to say she's a Mexican." Wanda said.

"I bet she is a Canadian." St.John said.

"Okay," Vivillia sighed, "Can we go now. Jared is starting to leave us." she pointed at her partner, still walking away from them.

--------------------

**Bayville Arcade, pretty empty after the bugs were reveled.**

"HA I GOT YOU!" Arcade laughed as his frog warrior from Uranus killed Todd's toad warrior from Venus.

"A little more ketchup." Good Fred directed a person behind a counter who was making over three hundred hot dogs for him.

"My demonic doppelganger." Evil Fred said walking up behind Good Fred.

"My dangerous double." Good Fred turned around.

"When you are done eating I will crush you." Evil Fred said.

"This cook is taking a long time. We can fight while he cooks." Good Fred said.

"Very well." Evil Fred agreed, "DIE!"

"YOU DIE!"

"MOVE IT!"

"NO YOU MOVE IT!"

"NO YOU MOVE IT YOU DOPPELGANGER!"

"YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL DOPPELGANGER!"

"NEITHER CAN YOU!"

"WHICH IS WHY I AM NOT USING IT!"

"SO? YOU CAN BARELY SPELL YOUR NAME YOU USE IT!"

"THIS FROM THE PERSON WHO SPELLED HIS NAME AS P-H-R-E-E-D!"

"DOES B-P-H-E-R-E-D MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"Hello police?" The poor cook said into a phone.

"Police here, we deal with everything but mutants." An officer answered.

"Why not mutants?" The cook asked.

"Our insurance refuses to cover us if we deal with them." The officer replied.

"Good bye then." The cook hung up and started cooking again.

"Hey Freddy, got more change?" Todd hopped over.

"Hold on a minute." Good Fred struggled to say as he grappled with Evil Fred.

"Okay." Todd said and snagged one of Good Fred's hot dogs.

"Did that frog just eat one of your hot dogs?" Evil Fred asked as the two giants stopped fighting.

"Yes." Good Fred said in shock.

"YOU NEVER STEAL FOOD FROM A EARLS OR A DUKES!" Evil Fred shouted.

"YEAH!" Good Fred shouted and grabbed Todd.

"Eep." Todd eeped.

"Wow I thought those two hated each other." Arcade muttered, watching Todd get tossed around.

"Want to eat now?" Good Fred asked Evil Fred after Todd stopped moving, and just moaned.

"Sure." Evil Fred said.

"COOK!" Good Fred turned to the exhausted chef, "Three hundred more hot dogs."

"After today, I quit." The cook muttered, plotting murder for his parents who had made him get a job.

"Fine quit tomorrow, cook now." Evil Fred ordered.

"I hope both of them die from high cholesterol." The cook muttered to softly for the two giants to hear.

"Make me a hot dog to." Arcade ordered the cook.

"Fine." The cook groaned, pulling out the last hot dog and flicking a bug off it.

"This place has the best pseudo-hot dogs." Good Fred said eating five in one bite.

"I prefer the ones in the bowling ally myself." Evil Fred said.

"I like the ones that they give away for free at the mall." Arcade said.

"Are any of you going to pay me?" The cook asked.

"No." All three responded.

"Great." The cook groaned, "I'm going to get fired."

"Weren't you going to quit anyway?" Good Fred asked.

"Quitting and getting fired are two different things." The cook said.

"How so?" Evil Fred asked eating his hundredth hot dog.

"Its a pride thing." Arcade said, "One they throw you out because you aren't good enough. The other you leave cause you are to good for them."

"Makes sense." Good Fred said.

"Can you just pay?" The cook asked.

"No." Evil Fred refused, "We have no money."

"Oh right." The cook understood their blight.

"Ow." Todd moaned from the corner.

--------------------

**Florida**

"Well that should get you to Arizona." Vivillia said to the mutants.

"Thanks for the fuel." Wanda said.

"No problem. Sorry about your friends getting de-aged." Vivillia said, watching Piotr attempt to control St.John.

"I am so glad they joined the X-men and not us." Wanda said.

"Me to." Lance agreed.

"Hey guys." Pietro appeared in a gust of wind.

"So you get to Arizona?" Jared asked, "Or go to a girl?"

"Arizona." Pietro said insulted, "Would I abandon the others to have a fling with a hot Japanese girl?"

"Yes." Everyone said, even the two agents that didn't really know him.

"Fine I did, but I went to Arizona." Pietro said, "They aren't there."

"Where are they?" Wanda asked.

"Don't know, but I am going home." And with that Pietro was gone.

"Great." Lance sighed, "We have no clue where they are."

"Maybe Baldy will let us use that computer mutant finder." St.John suggested.

"Worth a shot." Piotr, "This time Wanda decides what direction we fly in."

"Why not me?" St.John asked.

"Does 'Florida is on the other side of the country from our goal of Arizona' mean anything?" Lance asked.

"No." St.John laughed.

"Great." Lance sighed, "Piotr flies, Wanda and me navigate. Got it?"

"Pilots, Piotr pilots." Wanda said.

"Fine." St.John pouted.

"I wonder where the others are?" Wanda muttered.

--------------------

**Bayville.**

"Cross this wire with this one." Todd muttered to himself as he prepared the car for their trip home.

"Hurry up people are gathering." Arcade muttered as a small crowd gathered to watch the theft.

"All done." Todd proudly proclaimed as the engine roared to life.

"Let's go." Arcade muttered climbing in with his face covered to prevent to crowd from recognizing him.

--------------------

**In the air.**

"Turn five degrees to the right." Wanda commanded Piotr.

"Yes ma'ma." Piotr said, turning six degrees.

"I SAID FIVE DEGREES NOT SIX!" Wanda snapped.

"YES MA'MA!" Piotr turned back a degree.

"Wow she is picky." Lance commented.

"Just like most of the sheilas at the mansion." St.John commented.

"I just don't want to get lost again." Wanda muttered, "The X-Losers will blame us for their members de-aging."

"True." Lance agreed.

"We aren't losers." Piotr said.

"Yes you are." Wanda said.

"No we aren't." Piotr defended, "Help me here John."

"Well most of the X-geeks are losers." St.John said, "Except my beautiful burning lovable eagle."

"What?" Wanda and Lance asked.

"Don't ask," Piotr sighed, "Last night he keep talking about some girl he likes. I think it is that fire princess girl, what's her name."

"I pity his room mate." Lance muttered as St.John began to list his crush's qualities, most physical.

"That is me." Piotr said, "The professor said, 'Since you invited him he can stay in your room.' Strange thing, is when I left his office the professor told Mr. Logan that since I brought him here, I had to suffer him."

"Strange." Lance muttered.

"LOOK MATES!" St.John pointed at the console, "It says, 'Auto pilot, return to X-mansion.'"

"Did no one notice that before now?" Lance asked before looking out the window and getting air sick.

"Good thing, I was dreading having to land," Piotr said pushing the button, "I always crash in the Sims trying to get into that tennis court thing."

"Lovely." Lance groaned.

--------------------

**Japan**

"You are my only love." Pietro told a woman.

"Aren't you that mutant from TV a year ago?" The woman asked.

"Yes." Pietro said.

"I am part of the FOH." The woman said. "FRIENDS ATTACK!"

"AH!" Pietro ran.

--------------------

**Bayville**

"That was a rather uneventful day." Todd said as the 'lost' members went inside.

"The living undead? Uneventful?" Arcade asked.

"Marcy was a goddess." Todd sighed.

"Great." Arcade groaned.

"That Chinese restaurant had good chicken." Good Fred said.

"Creepy." Arcade said.

"I'm back." Pietro ran inside, "Hey where were you guys this morning?"

"Bed." Arcade said, "Where were you?"

"We thought you were missing we flew to Florida to find you." Pietro said.

"Why would we be in Florida?" Good Fred asked.

"We didn't think you were there we thought you were in Arizona." Pietro said.

"Yo, why did you think that?" Todd asked.

"We got a letter." Pietro said.

"Oh right the letter we mailed before calling you when we got lost last time." Arcade remembered.

"So you were never lost?" Pietro asked for clarification.

"Not recently, we had a nice safe day." Good Fred said.

"SAFE?" Arcade screamed, "WE WERE NEARLY KILLED BY THE LIVING DEAD! AND YOU SAY THAT IS SAFE!"

"Arcade has cracked." Pietro said.

"Yup. They had good chicken." Good Fred said.

"THAT WASN'T CHICKEN! THEY ZOMBIE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS!" Arcade screamed.

"She was hot." Todd sighed.

"AH! LOONS I AM LIVING WITH LOONS WHO ARE LOONIER THAN THE LOONS THAT GAVE BIRTH TO ME! THE SAME LOONS THAT HIRED OTHER LOONS TO RUN THEIR MANSION! THE LOON THAT THREW ME OUT! I HATE LOONS!" Arcade said, foam forming at his mouth.

"Is this a bad time?" Lance asked walking in with Wanda as cops towed the car they had stolen to get home.

"Wow that jet can fly fast." Pietro said.

"It's a helicopter not a jet." Wanda said, "Piotr and St.John are in trouble with Baldy. And will be at school tomorrow."

"The school burnt down." Pietro said quickly moving Arcade to his room.

"Xavier paid for the repairs, he knows some fast builders." Lance shrugged.

"'Night Pietro, Wanda, Todd, Lance," Good Fred said, "NIGHT ARCADE!" Good Fred said and walked off to bed.

"'Night Lancey wancy poo, slime ball, brother, Freddy," Wanda said as she ascended the stairs, "NIGHT ARCY POO!"

"What happened to her?" Todd asked.

"Two plan rides with Pyro." Lance said, "Night all."

"NIGHT SUGAR PLUM-" Todd shouted at Wanda.

"DIE!" Wanda shot a hex bolt in return.

"I GOT A DATE!" Pietro ran out the door.

"THEY'RE ALL LOONS!" Arcade shouted.

"Wait my dates tomorrow." Pietro ran back inside, "Good night one and all, your master Pietro is retiring for the night."

"DIE EGOTISTICAL BROTHER!" Wanda managed to hit him from her room.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"I think we're lost." A replacement general told Jamie #3.

"THEN GET A MAP!" Jamie #3 shouted.

"Where." The general asked him gesturing to the cow fields filled with dead cows and dead vultures.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: Remember the letter the three sent in chapter 10 that would take 3 days to get there?_

_2: Chapter nine, where Good Fred got his map of China. Closed down because it was haunted._

_3: In my town 3 pizza restaurants have all tried to exist in the same building, they all failed. Same with the two shoe stores._

_4: Reference to a funny scene in another fanfic on here, forget which one though._

_PLEASE review._

_Send in Ideas._


	14. Sept 7, Playing with Fire

**Disclaimer: Firecrackers hurt, so do lawsuits.**

_Trust me this has to do with the plot. Somewhat. Meet my mind on cold medicine._

**September 7 - Thursday - Playing with Fire**

--------------------

**Brother Hood House**

"What a be-a-you-tiful day," Arcade said to the others as he walked into the kitchen strangely calm.

"Are you okay?" Wanda asked.

"Never better my Gothic friend, the sun is shining," It was raining, "The birds are singing," no bird in their right mind would live near the Brotherhood house, "And I have the perfect plan to stay safe today," Arcade said with a scary smile, "Go to school, school is boring, school is safe."

"I think the dead guys got to him," Pietro laughed before looking at his watch, "Whoa got a date, see ya!"

"Dead guys?" Lance asked, and regretted it the moment it left his mouth, he knew that if it involved his house mates he didn't want to know.

"Yo, there was this hot vampire chick, and a murderous zombie dude," Todd explained, "They were going to kill us till the hot one, named Marcy, saved us."

"I regret asking," Lance groaned, "Better get Arcade to school so he doesn't slip farther into insanity."

"Why? He would be like everyone else if he did," Good Fred said.

"Him being like everyone else would be bad," Wanda said before going outside to steal a neighbor's car.

--------------------

**School, First Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade, and Piotr**

"What a be-a-u-tiful day Rusky," Arcade said to Piotr.

"Are you okay? Wait weren't you missing yesterday?" Piotr asked.

"Never better. I have gained new insight into my life," Arcade smiled.

"You are scarring me," Piotr said.

"There is no need to be afraid," Arcade smiled.

"I am going to sit on the other side of the room," Piotr walked away, "Why do I have to be here I am not really sixteen years old," Piotr paused, "At least I have Kitty in all my other classes."

--------------------

**School, First Period, Ethics Class, Mr Lowe**

**with Todd, Pietro (having just finished his date, don't you love time zones?), Evil Fred, and Duncan**

"Welcome back class," Mr. Lowe greeted his students, "Who can tell me the ethical problems with arson?"

"ME ME ME!" Todd yelled waving his arm around.

"Yes mister Tolensky," The teacher smiled at the thought of Todd actually learning.

"To easy to get caught," Todd said proudly.

"That is true," The teacher admitted, "There are cameras everywhere..."

"Make sure the security tapes melt," Duncan offered.

"Good idea," The teacher pulled out notebook, "Let me write this down."

"Use gasoline, makes it grow faster," Evil Fred said.

"But gasoline supports terrorists, use good ol' American grown cotton as kindling," A student said.

"True, most oil is in countries that support terrorists," The teacher crossed something off his pad, not noticing that Principal Bloominghantranfishcomoncalit had walked in the door.

"Am I interrupting something?" Principal B asked.

"SIR!" The teacher hid his pad of paper.

"It seemed to me like you were going to repeat recent events," Principal B walked farther in, "Did you start the last fire?"

"No. BUT WHOEVER DID NEEDS A MEDAL!" Mr. Lowe stood on his desk, "YOU HAVE CHEATED US TO LONG MR. B! I AM GOING ON STRIKE!"

"Then leave, I'll call a sub," Mr. B turned to the phone on the desk.

"This is odd," Todd said to Pietro.

"You think his anniversary present burning in the fire and his wife kicking him out has anything to do with his insanity?" Pietro asked.

"Yes," Evil Fred said, "I saw the break up, it was violent. I am surprised at the recovery Mr. Lowe made."

--------------------

**School, First Period, Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee**

"Princess of my fire," St.John held up a burnt rose to Amara, "I have had all my class aligned with your's so that we may fulfill with the stars have predicted with the alignment of Mars and the new planet Xena."

"That's so sweet," Amara blushed.

"Add in the moon Gabriell and we are meant to be," St.John continued.

"Slightly creepy though," Amara muttered.

"How come when he is a stalker he gets the girl and when I stalk Jean I don't?" Good Fred asked no one in particular.

"I think has to do with St.John's first DR session," Jubilee said, "Amara hit her head and John saved her."

"That would do it," Good Fred said, "What should I hit Jean with?"

"Great," Jubilee sighed, "I should have stayed with my foster parents."

"Why didn't you?" Good Fred asked.

"Don't ask, long story involving Rahne and rabies shots," Jubilee sighed.

"That happened once on my farm," Good Fred reminisced, "I think he survived."

"I don't want to know," Jubilee moved to a seat farther away.

"Good morning class," The teacher walked in ten minutes late, "I am protesting the principal as such would everyone please lite their books on fire and sit in a circle so that we can sing Kumbaya."

"Fire?" St.John asked to quietly for anyone but Amara to hear.

"Behave Johnny," Amara said seductively.

"Aw, why?" St.John asked.

"You can't take me out Saturday if you are in trouble," Amara said.

"Huh?" St.John blinked.

"Just don't lite anything on fire," Amara sighed.

"But they are going to lite it on fire," St.John pointed at the various smokers who were lending out their lighters.

"Don't make it get out of control," Amara sighed as various ancient text books were burnt. Some of which rivaled the Egyptian Book of the Dead in age.

"Kumbaya my lord," Good Fred sang loudly in a high soprano.

"Who knew he could get that high?" Jubilee said before joining in.

"MR. WILLIAMS!" Principal B walked in after dealing with mister Lowe, "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT FIRE AS A PROTEST?"

"Only on city hall?" Mr. Williams asked.

"RIGHT!" Principal B yelled.

"Fine I will protest you on city hall," Mr. Williams left the room.

"I need another sub," Principal B groaned and grabbed a phone, "Why do all these kids have lighters? Ah yes, get a sub for Mr. Williams." ... "Yes another one." ... "No beer was involved." ... "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" ... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE QUITING!" ... "THE DINNER PLATE SET WAS MINE FIRST!" ... "I WILL SEE YOU IN DIVORCE COURT!" Principal B slammed the phone down to the stunned student's expressions, "GET BACK TO WORK!"

"On what?" Jubilee asked.

"Uhhh," Principal B stuttered, "Just talk about your feelings or something."

"Eagle of my inner flame ... " St.John got on a knee in front of Amara.

"NOT THOSE FEELINGS!" Principal shouted.

"Oh right. Sorry mate," St.John stood back up, "Feelings ... uh ... Well one time I was little I found this fire ant nest. I always liked fire ants. With a name like that who could hate them. So I cared for those little critters. I endured their love bites and several trips to the hospital. And then my pa hired an exterminator. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE WITH THEIR CRUSHED FLAME RED BODIES LYING STILL! NO LONGER THE EVER MOVING INFERNO THAT WAS SO LIKE THEIR NAMESAKE!" St.John broke down in tears.

"I have never seen this person in my life," Principal B said stunned.

"This is his first day," Amara said, "Isn't he cute when he gets emotional. You should read his books."

"I don't want to," Principal B said before shaming Pietro with his departure.

"What were you saying St.John." Amara asked.

"Oh right Sheila. So my dad killed all those poor lovely fire ants-" St.John restarted his tale.

"BEFORE THAT!" Amara snapped.

"I don't remember." St.John shrugged, "So once dead they never had the motion of a flaming inferno that made them so lovely..."

"Great." Amara sighed.

--------------------

**School, First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

**with Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, and Rahne**

"Welcome class," The teacher greeted the students, "Who can tell me how to get a principal fired?"

"Uh why?" Rogue asked.

"THE BASTARD HAS BEEN STEALING OUR MONEY FAR TO LONG! WE TEACHERS SHALL NOT BE OPPRESSED! ANARCHY NOW! WE WILL TEAR HIM LIMB FOR LIMB! AND FEED HIM TO THE WOLVES!"

"Hey," Rahne protested.

"THEN STEW HIM WITH VEGETABLES!" The teacher continued to yelled.

"To think I missed this all my years in the asylum," Wanda muttered.

"Wonder what the principal did to her?" Tabitha asked.

"HE HAS CHEATED US TEACHERS FOR TO LONG! DOWN WITH PRINCIPAL B! BURN HIM AT THE STAKE LIKE THE WITCH HE IS!"

"That offends me," Wanda muttered.

"COACH CARPENTER! I CAN HEAR YOU DOWN THE HALL!" Principal B ran into the class.

"GOOD! YOU'RE GOING DOWN LIKE A DEAD ELEPHANT!"

"GET OUT!"

"FIRE!"

"Hello," Principal B said into the phone, "Please get another sub." ... "Yes I'll give you a raise, and tell someone to get the old Secretary off the lawn."

--------------------

**School, First Period, AP Statistics, Mr. Halif**

**with Lance, Kitty, and Kurt**

"Hello class," Mr. Halif smiled as the class entered the room, "I am happy to note that my medication dosage has been upped."

"Medication?" Lance asked no one in particular.

"Something about aliens and clinical insanity," Kurt explained.

"Oh." Lance muttered, "Do you hear shouting? It sounds like the principal."

"It is the principal," Kitty said holding her ear, "Weird."

"Today we shall have a more civic orientated class," Mr. Halif said, "Who can tell me the statistical probability of a sit in working in this day and age?"

"Not good," Lance said, "I tried once, ended up with two broken ribs. Maybe if I hadn't tried at an anti mutant rally..."

"I tried once at a religious clinic that was teaching how to recognize demons." Kurt said, "I was protesting them using my picture as a example."

"That's just stupid," Lance said.

"In my defense I was having mild hallucinations after accidentally eating one of Kitty's chocolate covered raisins. Apparently you can mess up cooking even if you don't use an oven."

"HEY!" Kitty yelled.

"Sorry Kitty the truth hurts," Kurt muttered.

"I like your cooking Kitty," Lance smiled.

"Really?" Kitty asked.

'CRACK' Kurt made a whipping motion and noise.

"So you volunteer to test my new recipes. Right?" Kitty asked.

"Of course, anything for you," Lance gulped.

"Lance grow a back bone. Can we get back to the topic on hand. How do I protest the principal?" Mr. Halif asked.

"Simple, blow up his car," Lance suggested.

"LANCE!" Kitty yelled.

"Good idea Lance, you get a hundred in this class." Mr. Halif marked his grade book.

"Really?" Kitty blinked, "In that case you could always burn his house down."

"KITTY THAT IS MEAN!" Mr. Halif yelled, "Though I could burn his office, hundred for you Kitty." And like that various students plotted illegal activities with the teacher; never attracting the attention of a Principal whose headache was growing.

--------------------

**School, Second Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade**

"I'm glad I hacked the computers and changed all my classes to Computer class." Arcade said to himself, checking his bank account on line, "And that there is no teacher for this class. Oh lookie I got five hundred more dollars from my scam."

--------------------

**School, Second Period, Home Ec. Class, Mrs. Cline**

**with Todd, and Wanda**

"Welcome to class," Mrs. Cline greeted her students, "We will be cooking for the 'Fire the Principal' bake sale."

"That is odd," Wanda muttered, "Every teacher seems mad at the Principal."

"I know," Todd muttered, "Hey cutie wanna cook with me?"

"No," Wanda hexed a bowl onto Todd's head.

"I am blinded by love," Todd said as batter dripped down his face.

"Who knew love tasted like raw eggs and milk?" Wanda muttered.

"Love tastes like your underwear," Todd sighed.

"WHAT?" Wanda screamed the lights blowing up.

"That is so romantic," Mrs. Cline cooed.

"WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY?" Wanda snapped.

"Not according to my shrink, he says I just have a non normal thought process." Mrs. Cline said.

"Great." Wanda groaned.

--------------------

**School, Second Period, Physics, Mr. Goodtran**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee**

"My eternal flame. I thought I would never see you again," St.John handed Amara a burning origami rose.

"We saw each other last period," Amara took the rose and let it burn out, "We were separate for three minutes."

"Who knew eternity was three minutes long?" St.John said

"That is so romantic," Amara cooed.

"AMARA HE IS A STALKER!" Jubilee yelled.

"Stalkers are romantic," Amara sighed as St.John folded another rose.

"Some things are just creepy," Good Fred watched as the second rose burned in Amara's hands.

"I see why you like fire so much," Amara said watching the fire burn.

"Hello class," Mr Goodtran walked in a few minutes late, "Would you believe the nerve of him. First stealing my money then calling security on me. Good thing that Officer Lents defected to our side. HE IS GOING DOWN IN A BURNING BALL OF GASOLINE!"

"All the teachers are crazy," Jubilee muttered as a bruised Principal walked in.

"GOODTRAN YOU WILL PAY FOR TURNING THE OFFICER TO YOUR CAUSE!"

"YOU SHOULD PAY THE PEOPLE WILL POLICE TRAINING MORE TO KEEP THEM ON YOUR SIDE! THIS IS WAR! THE UNION WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!"

"THERE IS NO UNION! I ABOLISHED IT!" The Principal yelled, "YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS!"

"YOU CAN'T AFFORD A LAWYER! BESIDES MOST LEFT AFTER MANY OF THEM DIED AND THE COPS COVERED IT UP!"

"Darn," Mr. Goodtran muttered, "He saw through my bluff."

"GET OUT!"

"YOU CAN'T JUST FIRE ME I HAVE A CONTRACT!"

"OUT OR I GET THE TAZER."

"Fine," Mr. Goodtran left.

--------------------

**School, Second Period, AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck**

**with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty**

"Hello class," Mrs. Boontuck greeted them, "Did you know there is something worse than mutants? PRINCIPAL B!"

"Great another one," Kitty groaned, "Why are all the teachers going crazy? I have heard yelling none stop today."

"Kitty my darling," Piotr said kissing Kitty's hand causing her to giggle.

"SHOVE OF TIN MAN!" Lance pushed Piotr away and pulled Kitty into a long passionate kiss, which sounded like a bad vacuum cleaner, leaving Kitty weak kneed

"BREAK IT UP!" Mrs. Boontuck yelled, "IF I DON'T GET ANY NEITHER DO YOU TWO!"

"That explains her behavior," Kitty muttered straightening her clothes.

"Kitty..." Piotr gasped.

"Yes?" Kitty asked.

"You..." Piotr stuttered.

"What?" Kitty asked.

"Eep," Piotr finally eeped falling silent.

"That was odd," Kitty muttered.

"SCORE!" Lance shouted, at which the teacher glared, "Sorry."

"LANCE I AM NOT SOMETHING TO BE SCORED AT!" Kitty screamed.

"My Kitty I would never assume to score at you." Piotr said.

"Of course not, you are a gentleman. Unlike others." Kitty gave him a small kiss and sat down.

Score, Piotr mouthed at Lance behind her back.

"Kitty," Lance gasped.

"Mrs. Boontuck, just checking in." A slightly out of breathe Principal looked in.

"I want to talk about a raise." Mrs. Boontuck said.

"No."

"THAT'S IT I AM ON STRIKE!" Mrs. Boontuck flew out the door.

"Great," Principal B moaned, "Kids, just mess around with each other, their aren't enough subs left." At the Kitty and Piotr and other couples started kissing, "NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"Sorry," the students coursed.

--------------------

**School, Second Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

**with Pietro, Bobby, Kurt, Ray, and Roberto**

"Hello students I am your sub, Joe Bob Murphy, call me Billy Bob though," The sub for Coach Carpenter greeted them.

"Where's the teacher?" Kurt asked.

"Last I heard trying to get a angry mob assembled," The teacher shrugged, "Just do your homework for other classes she didn't leave an assignment."

"We have no homework," Bobby said, "All the teachers are on a protest kick."

"Really why is that?" The sub asked.

"The principal has been stealing their money," Pietro said before starting to flirt with a girl, "You're a diamond among garbage."

"Are you saying my friends are garbage?" The girl asked.

"Yes-" Pietro said, "I MEAN NO!"

"JERK!" The girl slugged Pietro in the face.

"Ow," Pietro groaned as he moved away from the girl.

--------------------

**School, Third Period, Computer Class and Lunch**

**with Arcade**

"This is a good sandwich," Arcade grumbled through a sandwich.

"Do you eat lunch in this room everyday?" The librarian asked.

"Yes,"

"Go to the cafeteria," She sighed.

"No,"

"GO!"

"NO!"

"Wait why am I arguing, I am suppose to be printing up fliers for our protest next week." The librarian left Arcade to his sandwich and next class. Apparently very few kids sign up for Computer class, meaning he was the only kid in a class with no teacher.

Several minutes later Arcade ran from the building when the fire alarm went off.

--------------------

**School, First Lunch**

**with Todd, and Duncan**

"Yo, I'll have whatever attracts the most bugs," Todd told the lunch lady.

"Here ya go sugar, mystery meat, extra mystery," The lunch lady handed Todd shoulder meat from the missing link between man and monkey.

"I'll have whatever is FDA approved," Duncan said to the lunch lady.

"Here ya go jerk, bag of chips," The lunch lady glared, "You never picked me up for my date."

"Sorry, was doing homework," Duncan said.

"DON'T LIE TO ME! YOU NEVER DO HOMEWORK! YOU STOOD ME UP!" She screamed, as Duncan ran to a table.

--------------------

**School, Third Period, English II, Mrs. Mandy**

**with Todd**

"Yo wazzup class," Mrs. Mandy said.

"Yo, I thought you hated it when I talked like that?" Todd said.

"Yo, it's all good when protesting the establishment." The teacher smiled.

"Mrs. Mandy did I just hear you say you were protesting the establishment?" The Principal said as he poked his head in the door.

"Yo where's my money?" Mrs. Mandy demanded.

"Not you too. Get out!" Principal ordered.

"Yo, keep up the revolution kids," Mrs. Mandy ran out giving the principal a wet wilily on her way.

"That was mess up, yo," Todd blinked.

"If this keeps up I'll have to cancel school," Principal B moaned, causing a cheer to go up in the class, which was interrupted by a fire alarm, "Everyone out."

--------------------

**School, Third Period, Algebra I, Mr. Lackey PART I**

**with Fred**

"Sit there and behave," Mr. Lackey ordered before turning back to his phone conference with his fellow teachers.

"Do you mind if I eat your book?" Good Fred asked.

"Go ahead," Mr. Lackey waved a hand, not paying attention.

For the next half hour not a student moved or talked until the lunch bell rang, the only sound was Good Fred's stomach, which was blamed on a bad ceiling fan.

--------------------

**School, Third Period, Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro PART I**

**with Wanda, and Tabitha**

"Class, behave and don't kill each other," Mrs. Longtro said before turning to her phone, "No firecrackers are too expensive, lets try gasoline and a lighter."

"Something is seriously wrong with this school," Wanda muttered.

"Isn't this chaos great?" Tabitha laughed.

"No," Wanda said.

"Better than boring lectures,"

"True,"

"See, it is all about perspective," Tabitha smiled, "I have lots of perspective."

"What do you mean by that?" Wanda asked carefully.

"Oh this and that," Tabitha laughed and mock flicked some dirt off her shoulder.

"Never mind," Wanda groaned and started meditating trying to block the chaos of her classmates out. Only to get interrupted twenty minutes later.

"Okay class go to lunch I have some plotting to do," Mrs. Longtro ushered the class out ten minutes before their lunch started.

--------------------

**School, Third Period, English III, Coach Coon PART I**

**with St.John, and Amara**

"Amara my love," St.John knelt in front of Amara, "The last five minutes were like an eternity without food or water, or even fire."

"That's so sweet," Amara smiled.

"Creepy, how old is that kid? He acts five," A student muttered to his friend as St.John showed Amara the finer points of spitball making.

"Some new foreign exchange student, he's a frigging' mutie," His friend shrugged.

"No wonder he's so weird," The other student placed his head on his desk and fell asleep.

"Class, despite what you may think I will still educate you," The teacher said smacking the sleeping student over the head.

"Why the Principal is stealing your money." A student said.

"True," The teacher admitted, "But that is no reason to punish you."

"It's no punishment at all." The student said.

"I know, but still, to interrupt your education at such a delicate strange would be hazardous to my Social Security." The teacher said.

"Mate, Social Security's in the bucket, doesn't matter either way." St.John said ignoring a pouting Amara who had been trying to get through his thick head that she wanted a date.

"True," The teacher muttered before being interrupted by the lunch bell.

"Bye." "Bye." "Bye." Various students shouted as a mad rush formed to second lunch.

--------------------

**School, Second Lunch**

**with Fred, Evil Fred, Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, Amara, St.John, Kurt, Ray, and Amanda**

"Kurt wanna go out this Saturday?" Amanda asked her blue boyfriend while sitting by themselves at a table.

"I overheard your pa talking about blue rugs," Kurt said.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Amanda said moving in close to him and rubbing her face on his cheek.

"Stop that you know I can't think when you do that!" Kurt said.

"Is that a yes?" Amanda smiled evilly.

"Yes, I mean no, yes err uh." Kurt stuttered.

"That's a yes." Amanda giggled.

Across the room Tabitha asked "Where's Amara?"

"Probably with John." Ray muttered darkly, obviously jealous to anyone that listened.

"Why did I get stuck in a lunch were the only people who will sit with me are y'all?" Rogue muttered.

"Your lucky?" Tabitha laughed.

"If you want you can sit under your tree," Ray muttered.

"No thanks," Rogue said after seeing Good Fred arguing with Evil Fred under it.

"Where's Amara?" Tabitha asked again searching the crowd.

"Where's John?" Rogue asked.

"I have a bad feeling," Ray muttered.

"Do you smell smoke?" Tabitha asked sniffing, before either of the others could respond a fire alarm went off.

"John," Rogue growled.

--------------------

**School, Library**

**with St.John and Amara**

"...And that is why the killer whales are out to over throw the government," St.John finished telling Amara closing the Encyclopedia Americana, and the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the galaxy. (A/N:1)

"How does that answer my question?" Amara asked slightly shocked by the logic behind St.John story.

"What was the question?" St.John asked.

"Are we going out Saturday?" Amara asked the third time since they entered the library.

"Oh, right Sheila, as I said the whales in their attempt to over throw the world built a space probe ..." St.John began.

"STOP! Yes or no answer only, are we going out Saturday?" Amara said.

"I already answered that when talking about the dolphins," St.John said, before wilting under Amara's glare, "Yes."

"Good, now get rid of those books." Amara pointed at the stack of books St.John was using as evidence.

"How?" St.John asked pointing to the ransacked bookshelf.

"Give them to me," Amara grabbed them, set them on fire and placed them in a trash can, catching a curtain on fire, "Oops"

"Pretty," St.John giggled.

"Quick, before someone sees us," Amara grabbed St.John and dragged him outside when the alarm went off, "I am so glade they haven't put the new cameras in."

--------------------

**Outside the School**

"JOHN WHAT DID YOU DO!" Rogue shouted as St.John and Amara came out holding hands.

"WASN'T ME!" St.John defended.

"It was my fault," Amara blushed.

"Do we want to know?" Tabitha laughed.

"No," Amara said.

"What is life without knowledge?" St.John asked Amara.

"Out of Jail?" Amara said.

"Of right," St.John laughed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Lance ran over to St.John weeping and grabbed his shirt, "I WAS WRITING A POEM TO APOLOGIES TO KITTY WITH! NOW IT IS BURNT!"

"Can I burn him?" St.John asked Amara.

"Go ahead," Amara sighed before ducking behind Rogue to hide from a teacher.

"Fun fun," St.John giggled forming a small fire in his hands.

"YOU ARE CRUEL PERSON!" Lance ran off as a small fire puppy chased him.

"Great, I lost Kitty again," Lance moaned when he reached the Brotherhood.

"Give up on her, she is worthless," Wanda said.

"I NEVER GIVE UP!" Lance shouted, "Except on homework, fights, cooking, washing clothes ..."

"Nasty." Wanda groaned.

"What's wrong with not washing clothes?" Todd asked.

"Notice that we two are the best when it comes to clothes," Pietro said to his sister.

"No me and Arcade are the best, you have bad taste in clothes," Wanda said as she patted Lance's back while he wept for his lost Kitten.

"I am better now. I can rise above this," Lance said as he stood up, "I will just have to work around Pyro, and then destroy him and the Tin man. THE WIZARD OF OZ AND THE HEARTLESS TIN MAN SHALL NOT WIN!"

"So much for being better," Wanda sighed and then smacked Lance, "Behave you are attracting attention."

"Sorry Wanda," Lance sighed, "I need to relax, and rise above this. Come on I have third lunch and haven't eaten."

"Me too," Todd and Pietro chimed in.

"I didn't get to eat," Good Fred complained.

"Look there's Duncan's new car, let's steal it." Lance walked over to Duncan's new car, which had just enough room for all of them. Duncan claimed the room was for cheerleaders.

--------------------

**Mexican Restaurant on Main street**

"This day has been weird." Wanda muttered watching some teachers protest on the courthouse's steps.

"Yes it has. But once the wizard is reveled to be a man I shall have my Pretty Kitten." Lance said smiling evilly.

"Someone get me water to douse him with," Wanda sighed, a waiter handed her the water, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" She tossed the water onto Lance.

"COLD!" Lance screamed, "What was that for?"

"For being in a Kitty daze," Wanda growled, "Those aren't productive."

"You're right," Lance said, a sudden flash of inspiration hitting him, "I should be plotting, not mourning."

"Great job Wanda," Arcade said.

"Not my fault, glad that you're back to your old self," Wanda said picking up a slab of meat and ripping a chunk off with her teeth.

"What is with these teachers?" Pietro ask.

"Something about their money being stolen," Good Fred said.

"That's what Mr. Halif said that one day before he got arrested." Lance said.

"What are you talking about?" Wanda asked.

"Those few days when y'all were missing," Lance said, "I ran into Mr. Halif and we vandalized Principal B's car and he got arrested for various disturbing the peace charges. He was drunk."

"Okay..." Pietro blinked a few times, "This town is going insane, at first I thought it was messed up because of my dad's various attempts to rule the world, but now..."

"Yes, they can't blame mutants for these problems." Wanda agreed.

"They'll try," Lance muttered, "ALL HUMANS ARE EVIL!"

"I am offended by that remark," Arcade said.

"WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW!" Lance added sitting back down.

"Thank you," Arcade said.

"So..." Todd began searching for a new topic of discussion, "What are we going to do with the rest of the day?"

"Putput?" Arcade suggested after a short pause.

"Good with me." Lance agreed with the others.

"To the stolen-mobile!" Todd laughed as he ran out to the stolen car.

--------------------

**Putput Course**

"Is that the Brotherhood?" Jean asked Scott as Duncan's stolen car drove up.

"Yes ..." Scott said straining his eyes to see them, "Why are they here?"

"THE B HOOD IS IN THE HOUSE!" Todd shouted jumping out of the moving car.

"What house?" Good Fred asked following him out of the car.

"Figure of speech," Todd said before hopping over to the ticket counter.

"PUTPUT!" Arcade shouted jumping out of a still moving car.

"Make way God coming through," Pietro ran out of the moving vehicle.

"Are we the only sane people here?" Lance asked Wanda.

"It is put put," Wanda shrugged, "But yes we are."

"That's what I thought," Lance sighed parking the car, taking up six spots.

"Nice parking," Wanda commented.

"I've been practicing," Lance said proudly.

"Really?" Wanda blinked.

"Yup, I found a book in Toad's room entitled, 'How to Annoy People' by Flame Lover," Lance said.

"He usually wrights romances," Wanda said not making a move to leave the car, "Wait ... Why were you in Toad's room?"

"You don't want to know," Lance shuddered.

"Whenever someone says that I have a little voice saying 'ask,'" Wanda said.

"Fine, Toad is afraid of what is under his bed, to be frank now that I have seen it I am too." Lance shuddered, "Did you know that spontaneous creation of life was possible?"

"Sure, it happens all the time when my hex powers go wrong. Still what was alive?" Wanda asked.

"Well this old pizza box, and Toad's socks from eighth grade, he gets a new pair a year, some weird green stuff Mystique cooked when I first moved into the house ..." Lance began.

"I don't need to know anymore than that," Wanda laughed.

"You know you have a pretty laugh," Lance said, "You should laugh more."

"Living with Toad and my Brother I don't get that much of a chance, and the only laughter in the Asylum was from the crazies next door. Their laughter could drive a sane person insane. Nearly did." Wanda said looking down.

"COMEING?" Pietro ran up to an open window on the car.

"Yeah keep your panties out of a bunch." Wanda snapped, scarring Pietro off.

"Wow, he didn't argue about that panties comment." Lance blinked.

"He wears a thongs on Thursdays," Wanda shrugged, "Don't ask."

"Like you I have that voice that says 'ask' whenever I am told not to, but unlike you I listen to it." Lance said.

"I should learn to listen to mine," Wanda laughed.

"Yeah," Lance got out and opened her door.

"Thanks Lance." Wanda said.

"Welcome." Lance said and headed for the course.

--------------------

**On the 'green'**

"Why are they here?" Amara asked St.John.

"To burn something?" St.John asked.

"While that would be funner than this game, I don't think so," Amara said while making a hole in one without looking.

"Yeah, this game is too easy," St.John sunk a hole in one using a fat lady's butt as a back board.

"Let's go," Amara grabbed him and dragged him away.

"Hey Jubjubs," Bobby walked up to Jubilee, "Care for a rose?" He formed an ice rose.

"What is it with all the guys?" Tabitha asked as Jubilee told Bobby in very rude terms that she still remembered the frozen bra from that morning.

"Something about J-rod almost getting a yes from some girl to a dance," Rahne said.

"Fourth wall, Rahne. Fourth wall." Tabitha said, "You know the saying, 'The world is but a stage,' if you break the fourth wall on that stage people lock you in the Loony Bin. You don't want Wanda as a room mate do you?"

"Good point," Rahne agreed, "So want to go beat the guys again?"

"Of course," Tabitha laughed, "RAY! ROBERTO! SAM! READY TO LOSE AGAIN!"

"Playing with time bombs should be against the rules," Roberto moaned pulling plastic splinters from his arm.

"At least she didn't get your pants," Sam moaned.

"She does that all the time," Ray pointed out.

"Yeah the back. She did my front," Sam groaned holding said side of his body.

"Ow," Ray winced in sympathy.

"Yes ow," Sam glared at the uninjured guy not noticing the two girls run up behind him.

"He guys didn't you hear me calling?" Tabitha asked sweetly leaning over Sam, causing him to blush.

"No sorry we must have been distracted," Roberto said pulling a large splinter out.

"By what?" Rahne asked.

"Life, the universe, everything." Ray grunted.

"Distracted ..." Sam blinked as Tabitha moved about.

"Tabs your going to turn Sam red permanently if you don't get off him," Rahne laughed.

"Oh right," Tabitha said sliding into the seat beside him, "Something wrong Sammy?"

"Nothing wrong," Sam blinked a few times.

"Then why are you holding your hands there?" Tabitha asked sweetly patting his hands, causing him to yelp in pain.

Meanwhile at the concession stand. "I'll have this and that and that. And that. Oh and that. What is that? Give it to me anyway." Good Fred ordered his food.

"How are you going to pay for this?" The person asked.

"Pay?" Good Fred blinked, "Put it on Duncan's tab."

"Right Duncan's tab." The man did so, "Here you go Mr. Mathews."

"Are we going to actually play?" Lance asked the Brotherhood when they finally met up, after Pietro got rejected by three girls, Todd exterminated the bugs, Good Fred got candy, and Wanda fixed her make up.

"Yes I stole the balls and clubs." Pietro handed out the equipment.

"Let's play." Todd laughed.

--------------------

**Hole #2**

"Okay the score is," Wanda read, "Pietro one thousand."

"WHAT!" Pietro shouted.

"When you threw that tantrum and started swinging like crazy you got lots of swings, I only counted half of them." Wanda said, "Good Fred ... disqualified, don't eat your ball again."

"Sorry," Good Fred blushed, "It looked like a jaw breaker."

"Todd ... " Wanda read, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET A FROG TO DO THAT!"

"Well if you ask them nicely," Todd said.

"Forget it," Wanda groaned, "The voice is saying not to ask."

"Crazy," Pietro whispered to Arcade.

"Arcade," Wanda said, "Stick to video games, physical sports aren't your thing."

"Don't have to be so rude about it," Arcade muttered.

"Lance ..." Wanda said, "Using your powers to shake the ball in is against the rules."

"You used yours," Lance pointed out.

"True," Wanda admitted.

"Face it we all suck at this game," arcade groaned.

"I suck at nothing," Pietro bragged.

"Say nothing, it is to easy," Lance groaned

Wanda leaned over and whispered "Thursday Thong" into his ear.

"WANDA! I WAS TRYING TO FORGET THAT!" Lance groaned.

"Forget what?" Wanda smiled innocently, which looked very odd on her face.

"NO! GET IN THE BLASTED HOLE!" Scott screamed from across the course.

"JEAN STOP USEING YOUR POWERS!" Rahne shouted.

"YOU TWO BREAK IT UP!" The owner yelled at Amara and St.john as the two tumbled out from behind a scorched plant.

"Why is it that the X-men ruin any place we go to have fun?" Todd asked watching the X men fight each other.

"Revenge for us ruining their fun," Lance sighed.

"Figures," Arcade grunted.

"Karma," Wanda sighed, "She's such a witch."

"This coming from a witch?" Pietro asked.

"Quiet mortal," Wanda hexed him away.

"Ow." Pietro groaned from onto of Tabitha and Sam, who Tabitha was 'nursing' back to health by the concession stand.

"I need a new code name if people keep making those jokes," Wanda sighed let's leave, it's nearly supper time, "I want to try this new steak house."

"Aren't you a jew?" Lance asked.

"So?" Wanda answered with a question.

"Why do you eat meat," Lance asked, at which Wanda just smiled and laughed.

--------------------

**Steak house**

"This is Trish speaking," A TV blared out its speakers as various Football fans tried to find the remote to change it, "A local put put golf course burned down, blew up, froze, gained several new holes in its walls ... And has reports of rabid wolves? Okay that is just freaky, anyone want to tell me why this town is going down the toilet? In other news the day after the school burned down and was rebuilt the library burned up and the teachers are on strike protesting the Principal stealing their money. This is Trish asking why she didn't take that job reporting overseas."

"Odd," Wanda commented after the football fans found the right button on the remote and changed it.

"Really odd," Lance muttered eating a salad.

"This place has the best steaks," Wanda commented, hexing Arcade away from her peanuts.

"WHEE! I love how they let you throw their nuts on the ground." Todd laughed and threw a hand full up in the air.

"Me to!" Pietro threw his nuts down.

"What a waste," Good Fred sighed eating his nuts, shell and all.

"So what are we doing tomorrow? We have no school thanks to the strike." Lance asked Wanda ignoring his other house mates.

"Do we ever plan more than an hour ahead?" Wanda asked.

"No," Lance said.

"Then I don't know what we will do," Wanda shrugged, "We need light bulbs."

"Right, we'll get those tomorrow." Lance nodded, "I say we ditch these guys here."

"Agreed," Wanda said as Good Fred gave a waiter a heart attack.

"Guys I'm headed to the bathroom." Wanda told the others.

"Me to," Lance stood up and went to the car with Wanda.

"When do you get off?" Pietro asked a waitress.

"Never," The waitress ran from him.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"NO JIM DON'T!" The TV screamed as Wanda and Lance watched on from the couch.

"I hate soaps," Lance said.

"Me too," Wanda changed it to a horror film.

"Better," Lance sighed leaning back to watch.

"YOU LEFT US!" Pietro ran, followed by the other members who had to dispose of the stolen car on their neighbor's lawn.

"You guys were playing with nuts." Lance pointed out.

"SO!" Pietro snapped, "I refuse to talk to you two, I am going to bed to get my beauty sleep."

"Me too!" Good Fred followed Pietro up the stairs.

"WHY WANDA!" Todd cried as he walked by.

"What's their problem? Obviously you two wanted to be alone." Arcade laughed and walked up the stairs.

"Odd," Lance said.

"Agreed," Wanda said.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"Okay, everyone gets one pea," The army cook handed out the rations.

"This campaign is a failure," Jamie #3 sighed.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: There is a long story. Suffice to say, never leave three band kids in the library, and don't place the Holy Hitching Books by the encyclopedias._

_PLEASE review._


	15. Sept 8, Fire Drill

_Disclaimer: "Do I own X-Men Evo?" I ask. "Nevermore." Quoth the Raven_

_More to do with the plot than last chapter._

**September 8 - Friday - Fire Drill**

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"AH!" Pietro ran downstairs to find Wanda and Lance sleeping on the couch holding each other. Without even opening her eyes Wanda was able to hex him.

"Did you hear something?" Lance groaned, not quite awake.

"No," Wanda dug herself closer to him.

"Your trench coat is nicer that Kitty's sweater." Lance said rubbing his hands on Wanda.

"That's not my coat," Wanda growled grabbing his hands and laying on them to keep them from moving.

"MY WANDA!" Todd cried seeing the pair.

"WHAT!" Lance shot straight up, dumping Wanda to the ground.

"Did you two spend all night in those clothes?" Arcade walked down to see the very wrinkled pair.

"Shut up!" Wanda growled hexing the three standing guys, Lance included.

"Hey guys," Good Fred walked in from the kitchen, "Oh you two are up, here I made you two some breakfast."

"You saw us and didn't wake us up?" Wanda growled.

"Yeah,." Good Fred said.

"ARAGH!" Wanda screamed, if they still had light bulbs they would have blown up.

"Wanda..." Todd twitched in the corner.

"Pain..." Arcade twitched.

"Kill Lance..." Pietro twitched.

"So confused..." Lance said struggling to his feet.

"I am going to fix my make up," Wanda growled and went to the bathroom.

"What happened?" Lance asked.

"You two fell asleep with each other," Good Fred said.

"AH!" Pietro fainted, without even getting up.

"WHY WANDA WHY?" Todd cried.

"Ow." Arcade groaned and got up, "Have fun last night Lance?"

"Die." Wanda walked back down in a fresh clothes and hex Arcade.

"No one is to ever speak of this again," Wanda said as she walked past Lance blushing.

"Huh?" Lance blinked.

"Well Wanda likes-" Arcade began, only to get hexed from the other room.

"Huh?" Lance blinked again, "I need to call Kitty and apologies."

"I had the worst nightmare," Pietro groaned.

"WANDA!" Todd cried, only to get hexed.

"Mornings were always this fun on the farm," Good Fred sighed, "Oh guys did you hear they got a bunch of subs for today."

"Great," Lance sighed hanging up, "Kitty's already gone to school, and Wolverine wants to kill me."

--------------------

**First Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade, and Piotr**

"Safe," Arcade sighed sitting down.

"They need bigger keyboards," Piotr muttered breaking a keyboard trying to type his name in.

"The one class without a sub, has no teacher," A student laughed.

--------------------

**First Period, Ethics Class, Mr Lowe, subbed by: Dr. Boddy Black**

**with Todd, Pietro, Evil Fred, and Duncan**

"Hello class I am Dr. Boddy Black," Dr. Black greeted his temporary students.

"Isn't that the guy that got whacked in Clue?" Todd asked.

"I was named after my father," Dr. Black said, "Even went into the same profession as him. Though when I inherited the mansion I added a restroom. What was the question?"

"Isn't Dr. Black the name of the guy in clue the gets whacked, or shot, or hung, or stabbed, he just dies." Pietro said.

"I have never played a game called Clue. Though I remember something about my family selling the rights to my dad's life story..." Dr. Black thought.

"If he isn't here tomorrow we know what happened to him," Evil Fred whispered to a student.

A girl with purple burst through the door, "Sorry I'm late," she said in a British accent, "My name's Elizabeth, I'm a new,"

"IT'S MYSTIQUE SHE'S COME BACK FOR REVENGE!" Todd screamed with Pietro, "RISTY WILL KILL US ALL!"

"What?" Dr. Black asked.

"We don't know," A student said as the two Brotherhood members panicked.

"SAVE US SHE IS GOING TO KILL US FOR SIDING WITH MY LOVE CAKES!" Todd screamed.

"AH!" Pietro was creating a mini tornado as he tried to run in very small circles at super speed, he was rotating in one stop.

"What's with them?" Elizabeth asked.

"Just ignore them, there mutie freaks," Duncan said.

"I'm a mutant." Elizabeth muttered darkly before ignoring them.

--------------------

**First Period, Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams, subbed by: Miss Charlotte Scarlet**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee**

"I am Miss Scarlet," The sub greeted his students, "As I sub I will do absolutely nothing so just go over last nights homework."

"I burned mine," St.John said.

"We didn't have homework," Jubilee sighed.

"Oh right then, never mind." St.John laughed.

"Just pretend to be doing something, I have things to do." Miss Scarlet said, as she got on the Internet with the teacher's computer, "Let's see, this place is selling rope cheap ..."

"I like rope it burns afterward," St.John said.

"After what?" Amara asked.

"After playing Clue at the old base, but we didn't have a non-burnt board so we played it in real life. Magneto was Dr. Bobby." St.John laughed.

"We should do that at the mansion," Amara said.

"But we would have to eighty six the bathrooms. That would be a pain." St.John said, "And the candle sticks, how do you kill someone with a candle stick?"

"Lite them on fire?" Jubilee suggested, then regretted it almost immediately.

"THAT'S IT! YOU SOLVED THE MYSTERY THAT HAS PLAGUED ME SINCE THE DAY MY PET RAT RAN AWAY!" St.John laughed.

"What?" Jubilee was shocked.

"My pet rat ran away and I played fifteen straight hours of Clue to take my mind of it." St.John said, "I could have gone longer but my parents fell asleep." (A/N: 2)

"No rule. Never ask John 'what.'" Jubilee muttered.

--------------------

**First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter, subbed by: Professor Paul Plum**

**with Wanda, Tabitha, Rouge, and Rahne**

"Hello I am Professor Plum," Prof. Plum said.

"I have a feeling this day is going to be very weird." Rahne whispered to Tabitha.

"Weird is fun," Tabitha said.

"Something happened to you while you were with the Brotherhood, didn't it?" Rahne asked.

"Yeah so?" Tabitha responded.

"Mind telling me what happened?" Rahne asked, at which Tabitha just laughed.

"Sorry I'm late!" A short green haired girl with torn up clothes ran into the class, "I'm new,"

"And you are?" Prof. Plum asked.

"Myst-" The girl stuttered, "Uh ... Mysty."

"Hello Mysty," Prof. Plum greeted her, "Please, sit. Class please do whatever work your teacher gave you. I need to look up candle stick weights and the force needed to crack a human skull."

"Deja vu," Rogue muttered.

"She smells familiar," Rahne said.

"It is odd how you and Badger do that smelling thing," Tabitha said.

"Really odd, and slightly disturbing," Wanda muttered glaring at Mysty, "She does seem familiar,"

"Maybe you met in a past life?" Another student interjected.

"Then why do I have this strong urge to blow her up?" Wanda and Rogue said as one.

"Maybe your past lives weren't friends?" The girl said.

--------------------

**First Period, AP Statistics, Mr. Halif, subbed by: Mrs. Patricia Peacock**

**with Lance, Kitty, and Kurt**

"Pwetty witty Kitty," Lance said to Kitty.

"LANCE I AM STILL MAD AT YOU!" She screamed.

"Pwetty Kwitty pwease fworgweve mwe." Lance said in baby talk.

"Lance stop it you're embarrassing me," Kitty giggled as the rest of the class stared in shock.

"Pwetty Pwease, Pwetty Kwitty." Lance said.

"I forgive you stop," Kitty giggled.

"I would dump any boy that acted like that," A girl said, as her boyfriend, who had recently had a fight with her, was about to ask for forgiveness. He didn't.

"Lance you are whipped," Kurt said, "You shame every guy in this state."

"I wish my boyfriend would do that." Mrs. Peacock sighed, "All right class, my name is Mrs. Peacock. Any jokes involving liquid biological waste and, or, male reproductive organs will be punished severely."

"How will you punish us?" Kurt asked.

"With this lead pipe that I carry everywhere I go. Even inside of fancy mansions, when people get murdered." Mrs. Peacock held up said blunt object.

"Creepy," Kurt muttered.

"Any one wish to share a joke?" Mrs. Peacock asked holding up the pipe.

"NO!" The class screamed, Lance couldn't resist whispering a joke to Kitty, who burst out laughing.

"SOMETHING FUNNY?" The sub screamed.

"No, Mrs. Peacock-" Kitty burst out laughing again.

"STOP LAUGHING! STOP IT! STOP IT!" She screamed jumping up and down like a banshee.

"Calm, calm." Kitty murmured while taking deep breathes, "Calm, don't think about -" she burst out laughing again, "Calm," she tried to contain herself.

"This is going to be a long day," Mrs. Peacock groaned.

--------------------

**Second Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade**

"I love this class," Arcade laughed, "I don't have to do anything."

--------------------

**Second Period, Home Ec. Class, Mrs. Cline, subbed by: Sgt. Grey**

**with Todd, and Wanda**

"ATTENTION!" Sgt. Grey walked in the door, "AT EASE!" He shouted at the students who had instinctively snapped to attention.

"SIR YES SIR!" A few students shouted.

"YOUR MISSION HERE IS TO LEARN! LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE BY YOURSELF!" Srt. Grey shouted, "YOU THERE!" He pointed at Todd.

"SIR YES SIR!" Todd snapped to attention.

"WHAT CAN YOU DO IF STUCK IN THE WILDERNESS AND YOU HAVE TO COOK FOR YOURSELF?" Srt. Grey shouted.

"I CAN EAT BUGS SIR!" Todd said.

"GOOD ANSWER! Class take note of this fine young man. He is willing to do what is required to survive. A mark of a true fighter. He is not afraid of simple things like social taboos like bug eating." Srt. Grey praised Todd, "YOU THERE!" He turned to Wanda, the only one who hadn't snapped to attention.

"What?" Wanda growled.

"IF YOU WERE TRAPPED IN THE WILDERNESS AND HAD TO COOK FOR YOURSELF COULD YOU DO IT?"

"Get out of my face," Wanda growled, surprisingly causing Srt. Grey to back down.

"Okay, um," Srt. Grey stuttered, his hair having turned gray from Wanda's growl, "Today we will learn how to prepare rations so that they can be eaten. This usually involves lots of spice or ketchup."

--------------------

**Second Period, Physics, Mr. Goodtran, subbed by: Colonel Michael Mustard**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, Elizabeth, and Jubilee**

"ATTENTION SOLDIERS!" Col. Mustard marched through the door.

"Hu?" Amara blinked at the unusual command.

"Why is it that I can't strike fear into people's hearts." Col. Mustard moaned, seeing that no one had snapped to attention.

"Does that new girl remind you of Mystique's old disguise?" Jubilee leaned over to Amara and asked.

"A little," Amara admitted.

--------------------

**Second Period, AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck, subbed by: Rev. Gerald Green**

**with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty**

"Welcome students," Rev. Green said extremely chipper, "CAN I GET A AMEN?"

"This is going to be interesting," Lance muttered to a giggling Kitty.

"Kitty, I have waited for the time I would see you again," Piotr said softly to Kitty.

"Peter, we live in the same house," Kitty pointed out, "You can go an hour and a half without seeing me?"

"No," Piotr said.

"That's so sweet," Kitty blushed.

"Kitty," Lance moaned.

"Yes Lance?" Kitty asked.

"Can you sit with me," Lance steered her away from the Russian.

"Kitty," Piotr moaned as the Reverend went into a quasi religious rant about languages.

"First we have crazy teachers. Then crazy subs." Lance laughed shaking his head.

"-and that is why a revolver is a bad weapon-" Rev Green said having gotten off the topic of Languages.

--------------------

**Second Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter, subbed by: Professor Paul Plum**

**with Pietro, Bobby, Kurt, Ray, Mysty, and Roberto**

"Good morning class today we will learn the various uses of cyanide." Prof Plum greeted his second class.

"Uh ..." The class just blinked trying comprehend their crazy sub.

"Hello my beauty," Pietro sped over to Mysty.

"My stepson. So wrong," Mysty shook in disgust.

"Did you say something?" Pietro asked leaning closer and looking down.

"WHY YOU LITTLE PERV!" Mysty smacked his face away from her anatomy.

"Ow..." Pietro moaned.

"I will get him for this," Mysty growled promising pain and death to Magneto.

"That was odd," Bobby muttered to Ray.

"Not really," Roberto said overhearing, "Pietro has been having bad luck with girls since Wanda showed up."

"True," Bobby agreed.

--------------------

**Third Period, Computer Class and Lunch**

**with Arcade**

"Food." Arcade said zombie like, and tried to eat a picture of food on his computer screen.

--------------------

**First Lunch**

**with Todd, Mysty, and Duncan**

"Hey babe," Duncan draped his arm around Mysty.

"Didn't you graduate last year," Mysty sneered.

"THE SCHOOL MESSED UP!" Duncan cried, "I PASSED I KNOW I DID! THEY SAY I DIDN'T!"

"So sad," Mysty slipped out of his arm and ran through the lunch line to avoid him.

"Hey babe," Todd said to Mysty as she exited the line, "Wanna eat lunch with me?"

"Hell no," Mysty said and ran from him.

"Why is it that all the good looking ones don't want any Toad?" Todd moaned, "First Rogue, then Wanda, now this hot punk girl. I wonder if I could find Marcy again, maybe she's at that cemetery."

--------------------

**Third Period, English II, Mrs. Mandy, subbed by: Mrs. Blanche White**

**with Todd, and Mysty**

"Yo hottie, wanna sit with me?" Todd hopped up beside Mysty.

"HELL NO!" Mysty ran across the room, straight into Mrs. White.

"DETENTION GIRL!" Mrs. White yelled, "In my day girls didn't wear such disrespectful clothes, or dye their hair."

"Which is why you look as old as you are," Mysty muttered.

"Girl don't try me," Mrs. White growled, "I HAVE KILLED BEFORE I CAN DO IT AGAIN!"

"Killed?" Todd blinked.

"Did I say that out loud?" Mrs. White gasped.

"Yes," Mysty growled.

"I let you off detention you tell no one." Mrs. White offered a deal.

"Deal," Mysty shook on it.

"Odd day we are having," A student muttered as Mrs. White began to teach absolutely nothing.

--------------------

**Third Period, Algebra I, Mr. Lackey, subbed by: Miss Georgia Peach PART I**

**with Fred**

"Hello class," Miss Georgia greeted her class.

"I'm hungry," Good Fred moaned.

"Oh, is their anything I could get you?" Miss Georgia said as her mothering instincts kicked in.

"I'm in the mood for peaches, got any?" Good Fred asked.

"YOU PERV!" Miss Georgia screamed and whacked Good Fred over the head.

"I take that as a no." Good Fred sighed.

"Two plus two is four," She began to teach until the lunch bell.

--------------------

**Third Period, Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro subbed by: Monsieur Brunette PART I**

**with Wanda, and Tabitha**

"I am Monsieur Brunette," Monsieur Brunette greeted his students.

"French boys are so hot," Tabitha giggled.

"This class is going to be very weird." Wanda muttered.

"Read your books I must look up security information on the local art museums." Monsieur Brunette turned to his computer.

--------------------

**Third Period, English III, Coach Coon, subbed by: Madame Rose PART I**

**with St.John, Rogue, Kurt, Ray, Amanda, Elizabeth, and Amara**

"IT'S RISTY!" Rogue screamed when Elizabeth walked into the class, "DIE DIE EVIL MOTHER!"

"AH! THIS PLACE IS FILLED WITH CRAZY PEOPLE!" Elizabeth screamed as she dodged Rogue's attacks.

"I'm not crazy," St.John pouted.

"No you're not," Amara cooed rubbing his face.

"HELP HOMICIDAL WOMEN TRYING TO KILL ME!" Elizabeth yelled.

"I'm not trying to kill you," Madame Rose said, "Wait I mean I'm not homicidal, I mean uh ..."

"ROGUE STOP!" Kurt grabbed Rogue, "Kill mother after school,"

"Fine," Rogue went to her seat.

"I should have stayed with the ninjas," Elizabeth muttered.

"Kurtty," Amanda grabbed Kurt and dragged him to a group of empty desks.

"To day we will learn nothing," Madame Rose said, "I need to look up the price of bullets, please behave."

--------------------

**Second Lunch**

**with Good Fred, Evil Fred, Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, Amara, St.John, Kurt, Ray, Elizabeth, and Amanda**

"MOVE!" "YOU MOVE!" Both Fred's started their daily ritual of fighting each other.

"I am the only sane Brotherhood member and I am not even a brother," Wanda sighed as she sat with Rogue.

"Kill mother," Rogue twitched as she glared at Elizabeth.

"Hey Kurtty," Amanda dragged Kurt to a table away from all others.

"ROGUE SAVE ME FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" Kurt screamed.

"Lucky," Ray muttered sitting with Rogue and Wanda.

"Hey anyone see Blue?" Tabitha danced over to the table.

"With his girlfriend," Rogue pointed where Amanda was attacking Kurt.

"Darn, I was hopping to get him alone before she got here." Tabitha sighed, "Where's Amara?"

"Oh no not another fire drill," Rogue moaned, "Why am I the responsible X-man now?"

"Cause Scott and Jean are in their college dorm?" Wanda said.

"My Scott," Rogue muttered darkly as a fire alarm went off, "Great."

--------------------

**Third Period, AP Biology, Mrs. Frena, subbed by: Captain Robert Brown**

**with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty**

"Greetings students, I know nothing of biology so just read while I find a cheap lead pipe on eBay," Capt. Brown said.

"Do you smell smoke?" Lance asked.

"Yes," Piotr said sniffing.

"Not again," Kitty moaned as an alarm went off.

--------------------

**Third Period, Biology, Mr. Goodtran, subbed by: Colonel Michael Mustard**

**with Pietro**

"Just read," Col. Mustard waved his arm at the kids, "Is that smoke?"

"Yes ..." A student looked into the hall, "FIRE!"

--------------------

**Hallway**

"That'll show the janitor for smoking on school time. I told him when I was Principal to stop it, but noo," Mystique muttered as she changed from her monster disguise, looked a lot like Kurt's demon monsters, to Mysty disguise.

She licked her lips, "Tasty. Ah man I started a fire again, I need to stop doing that."

--------------------

**Outside.**

"PYRO WHAT DID YOU DO!" Rogue shouted as a blushing St.John and Amara walked over to them.

"It wasn't us this time, we were looking up lighters on the Internet." St.John defended himself.

"JO-" Rogue began before seeing Elizabeth, "Mother ... DIE!" She ran at Elizabeth.

"WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE HERE!" Elizabeth ran screaming as Rogue tried to use Pietro's powers to catch him. Luckily for Elizabeth Rogue hadn't really practiced with them that much.

"Ow, walls hurt." Rogue muttered from her nice and cozy hole in the wall.

"Some days are just weird," Lance muttered to the Brotherhood, "Who wants to go home and play Clue?"

"I WANT TO BE REVEREND GREEN!" Todd hopped up and down.

"I am Miss Scarlet," Wanda said as she got into Duncan's missing car.

"I shall be Dr. Black," Pietro said.

"He's dead," Lance pointed.

"That's okay," Wanda laughed evilly.

"Uh, I'll be Captain Brown." Pietro backed away from Wanda.

"Okay let's go," Lance drove the Brotherhood away.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"IT WAS MISS SCARLET IN THE BATHROOM WITH THE CYANIDE!" Pietro shouted.

"Pietro, there are no bathrooms or cyanide." Lance pointed out.

"What kind of mansions have no bathrooms?" Pietro asked.

"One's owned by people who don't use the bathroom." Wanda said.

"Fine, it was Dr. Black in the hall with the revolver."

"Dr. Black is the dead guy." Wanda moaned.

"It was a suicide," Pietro shrugged.

"Good point. Why isn't there an option for him to commit suicide? If all these people hate him and just want his money then he must have been lonely." Wanda asked.

"Please, he's rich. He can go to the corner of main street and second street to feel welcomed." Lance laughed.

"Don't ask," Wanda muttered to herself.

"Are we going to play clue all day?" Todd asked.

"Yes," Lance replied rolling the dice, "IT WAS MRS. WHITE WITH THE CANDLE STICK IN THE LOUNGE!"

"That is correct," Wanda said looking at the cards.

"Yo we should do something else." Todd said.

"Toad's right," Pietro said and then gasped at what he said.

"Let's go to a movie," Wanda said, grabbing Lance and dragging him away from the others fast enough that they couldn't follow.

"Did my sister just ..." Pietro said watching Wanda drive off with Lance.

"Sugar plum," Todd moaned.

"Let's go eat," Good Fred grabbed the other three and dragged them down the road.

"OW ROCK!" Arcade yelled as he was dragged.

--------------------

**At the Movies.**

"This is disturbing," Lance blinked.

"Oh be quiet it's only the previews." Wanda said eating her popcorn that Lance had bought but wasn't allowed to touch.

--------------------

**Restaurant**

"Why am I here?" Pietro asked himself watching the slow eaters eat.

"You spent all day trying to get that hot Mysty chick so didn't get a date with anyone else." Todd said eating a bunch of roaches he had found in a bathroom.

"Right," Pietro nodded, "Hey look isn't she in that one class," he sped over to a girl.

"Think he'll get this one?" Todd asked Arcade.

"I think he might get lucky this time-" Arcade started.

'SMACK!'

"-or not," Arcade winced as Pietro came over with a giant red mark, "What did you say?"

"I just complimented her," Pietro complained holding his face, "NO I CAN'T HAVE A BRUISE!"

--------------------

**Outside the Theater**

"Wrong so wrong," Lance said pale faced, wide eyed, and swaying in place.

"That was a boring movie," Wanda yawned.

"BORING? I LOST COUNT OF THE BODY COUNT!" Lance yelled, "Horror film meets romantic comedy, not a good mix, especially once you add the Sci Fi and the religious approach..."

"The body count was nine hundred seventy six people. Not counting the blown up city." Wanda yawned again, "Come on you're taking me for ice cream."

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"And that is how you start a fireplace." St.John stepped back to admire his work. Flames were shooting out the chimney.

"Pretty," Amara sighed.

"My insurance rates," Xavier moaned.

"Fire bad," Bobby said switching out of his melting ice form.

"Did life suddenly get ten times crazier?" Jubilee asked no one in particular.

"It happened a few weeks ago," Jamie muttered watching Storm try to convince St.John to put it out.

--------------------

**Ice Cream Parlor**

"Wow you can eat a lot," Lance said handing the owner another twenty.

"LANCE!" Kitty ran in and threw her arms around Lance's neck, "Why are you with Wanda?"

"He's buying me ice cream," Wanda said, "The movie was boring so we left early."

"Movie?" Kitty blinked, "Lance can I talk to you?" she dragged him across the store.

"Look Kitty," Lance said, "I know this looks bad-"

"Bad?" Kitty asked, "YOU ARE ON A DATE WITH THE CIRCUS SIDE SHOW!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" Wanda shouted.

"IT's NOT A DATE!" Lance yelled.

"DIE YOU BIMBO!" Wanda hexed Kitty.

"I'M NOT BLOND!" Kitty threw ice cream at Wanda.

"How much?" Lance groaned to the owner.

"Depends on how much they break," The owner said, "So you're mutants, must be hard."

"You don't mind?" Lance asked.

"Not really," The owner shrugged.

"When they're done, send the bill to Xavier," Lance said.

"That mutant school on the hill?"

"Yes."

--------------------

**Restaurant**

"Do we run out on the bill or pay it," Arcade asked as the meal was winding down.

"Pay it," Good Fred held up a wad of cash.

"Where did you get that?" Arcade asked.

"Duncan's glove compartment," Good Fred said paying the bill.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"We need light bulbs," Lance muttered dragging a slightly bruised Wanda through the door.

"We're back," The other boys ran inside.

"What happened to her?" Arcade was the first to notice an unconscious Wanda.

"SUGAR PLUM!" Todd hopped over to her.

"SISTER!" Pietro beat him to her.

"My girlfriend attacked, they fought. Xavier got the bill." Lance explained.

"We need light bulbs," Good Fred said heading to his room.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"TO THE WATER!" Jamie #3 led his five dehydrated soldiers to a lake, poisoned by years of human waste dumping.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: There is a long story. Suffice to say, never leave three band kids in the library, and don't place the Holy Hitching Books by the encyclopedias._

_2: Exaggerated story of when my dog ran away. It was five hours._

_PLEASE review._


	16. Sept 9, Stop Drop Roll

_Disclaimer: "Do I own X-Men Evo?" I ask. "Nevermore." Quoth the Raven_

**September 9 - Saturday - Stop Drop Roll**

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

'RING' as one the demonic alarms woke everyone up. Predictably Wanda's clock ended up in the Pacific ocean. For those of you not familiar with American geography, New York (the state they are in) is on the far side of the country from the Pacific Ocean.

Pietro ran his clock to the Himalayas. Good Fred's was eaten with a side of fries. Arcade simply turned his off and unplugged it. Todd and Lance just got up.

--------------------

**Breakfast**

"What do you want to do?" Todd asked Good Fred.

"I dunno no. Lance what do you want to do?" Good Fred asked Lance.

"I dunno no. Arcade what do you want to do?" Lance asked Arcade.

"I dunno no. Pietro what do you want to do?" Arcade asked Pietro.

"I dunno no. Wanda what do you want to do?" Pietro asked Wanda.

"I dunno no. Wanda what do you want to do?" Wanda asked herself.

"Did you just ask yourself?" Lance asked.

"What no one was left," Wanda defended.

"You're suppose to make a full circle and ask Toad," Arcade said.

"I know what slime boy wants to do, and I will kill him if he says it out loud," Wanda said, stopping Todd in mid-breath.

"Let's go to the movies," Lance suggested.

"There's this new horror film I want to see," Wanda said.

"NO!" Lance screamed and then fell into the fetal position.

"What's with him?" Wanda asked.

"He had nightmares all night. I could hear him from my room." Arcade said.

"Why that movie wasn't that scary," Wanda said.

"It is banned in twelve countries for extreme violence," Arcade said.

"So?" Wanda asked.

"Never mind," Arcade sighed, moving Lance so he wasn't blocking the door.

--------------------

**X-Mansion**

"So you and John have a date?" Xavier asked looking at Amara trying to figure out what the hell she was thinking.

"Right we're doubling with Kurt and Amanda," Amara nodded.

"You may go, but why John?" Xavier asked.

"He's so romantic. Did you know he writes?" Amara sighed.

"He rights? As in uses paper. Flammable paper. Flat pieces of bleached wood that he uses as fuel?" Xavier asked.

"Yup, he uses paper." Amara sighed.

"What does he write?" Xavier asked.

"Gothic Romances, though he is branching out into Mutant Romances," Amara sighed again.

"I will not ask," Xavier moaned, "Ah great I accidentally read her mind. NO BAD IMAGE! JEAN HELP ME FORGET THIS IMAGE!"

"OKAY!" Jean yelled from her room and concentrated, "AH NOW I HAVE IT!"

"What's wrong?" St.John asked walking in.

"Don't know," Amara shrugged, "Let's go."

"I hope her dad doesn't kill me," Kurt muttered.

--------------------

**Movie theater**

"I missed being a teenager," Mysty said to herself.

"MYSTY!" Pietro ran inside and saw her.

"Oh no," Mysty moaned.

"I thought of you all night long," Pietro said.

"So wrong, so wrong," Mysty moaned.

"PIETRO STOP TERRORIZING THAT GIRL!" Wanda walked in.

"Why do you have a bruise on your face?" Mysty asked.

"The curse of beauty," Pietro said.

"He got hit by a girl he was hitting on," Wanda walked over to the two, "Sorry about my brother,"

"How do you know, you weren't there," Pietro said, "You were with Lance,"

"Arcade told me," Wanda said, "Come let's get into the movie before they realize we snuck in," she dragged her brother and the others into a random theater.

--------------------

**Random Romantic Comedy Movie**

"Why didn't I read the signs," Wanda moaned as he two actors confessed their love for each other while on was chained upside down by the girl's dad.

"This movie needs more fire," St.John moaned, "Hey Kurt come up for air some time, I think you're turning blue."

"WHAT!" Kurt pulled away from Amanda and checked his watch, "No I'm not,"

"THAT IS NOT THE ARM REST!" Mysty shouted, she was sitting by Pietro.

"GET OFF ME TOAD!" The theater lit up as a glowing-blue Todd flew across the seats.

'BOOM' the theater shook slightly as the popcorn machine blew up trying to handle Good and Evil Freds' demands.

"This reminds me of my sixth birthday party," Arcade muttered, "Just hope that no one with a goalie mask shows up,"

"Why what happened?" Lance ducked down to avoid the candy Wanda was throwing at Todd.

"My parents' lawyers said not to mention it," Arcade said.

"I understand that, Xavier's and Magneto's lawyers said not to mention anything involving the two stolen cars and the five pigs," Lance said, "Who knew that pigs could drive that well?"

"I read about that in the papers," Arcade said, "Real funny, unless you owned stock in the Zoo."

"Yeah, I thought so, the police didn't." Lance shrugged, and then got smacked in the face by a coke Mysty threw at Pietro, "Oh look security is having trouble."

"No one can blame this on me," St.John said to Amara, "Hey Kurt breathe,"

"What is going on?" Kurt finally took his surroundings in.

"Chaos," Amanda shrugged, "Come on let's go bowling," she dragged him from the theater, Amara followed with St.John.

"We should leave," Wanda said walking over to Lance and Arcade.

"I just got food," Good Fred moaned.

"My head," Pietro sped over.

"Where's Toad?" Lance asked.

"Am I hopping funny? Cause my legs hurt," Todd said hopping over.

--------------------

**Bowling ally**

"Why did we come here?" Lance asked the others.

"Free cheese fries on Saturdays with every second game." Good Fred said.

"This place has the most bugs in its bathrooms compared to any other public building," Todd said.

"There is this one hot chick that works the shoe rack," Pietro said.

"You were driving," Wanda said.

"And they blackmailed you," Arcade said pointing at the three other guys.

"With what?" Wanda asked.

"Well -" Arcade began, only to have Lance's hand stop him mid sentence.

"What did they blackmail you with?" Wanda asked again.

"Nothing," Lance said, dragging Arcade inside.

"Odd," Wanda followed them in, "I like games that my powers let me cheat at."

--------------------

**Inside Bowling Ally**

"Oh lookie the Brotherhood is here," St.John said from where he was trying to help Kurt fit his wide fingers into the holes.

"Isn't that the frog boy that stole your watch in front of my parents?" Amanda asked Kurt.

"Yes," Kurt sighed.

"AH IT'S RISTY!" Pietro screamed pointing at Elizabeth.

"Oh no, not again." Elizabeth moaned.

"MOTHER?" Kurt shouted.

"Mystique," Wanda hissed, tables shaking and general chaos that was unlikely in a place where vacuum powered machines picked up heavy and hard bowling pins. Meaning bowling pins were being shot at Elizabeth.

"WHO THE HELL IS RISTY!" Elizabeth screamed dodging pins with her mad ninja skills.

"DON'T PLAY STUPID MYSTIQUE!" Wanda shouted.

"Why would Mystique use the same disguise twice?" Todd asked no one in particular.

"Right uh ... " Lance said nervous that Wanda would figure out that she had contacted him.

"This is odd," St.John just sat watching the cat fight, "Very odd,"

"Maybe we should leave," Amanda said clutching Kurt's arm, "Maybe take a short cut to the ice cream shop?"

"Your wish is my command," Kurt teleported off.

"HEY HE HAS THE KEYS TO THE CAR!" St.John shouted.

"WHAT!" Amara screamed.

"Hello, Insurance Co. I would like to buy some insurance," The owner said into a phone.

"DIE MYSTIQUE!" Wanda tossed a section of a wall at Elizabeth.

"I AM NOT MYSTIQUE!" Elizabeth shouted dodging the wall and running out the door, "EVERYONE IS CRAZY IN AMERICA!"

"That'll show her," Wanda said proudly.

"Maybe that wasn't Mystique," Good Fred said.

"Sure it was, she had purple hair and a British accent." Wanda said.

"Mystique isn't that stupid," Lance said.

"True, wait then who is she?" Wanda asked.

"Innocent bystander?" Lance suggested.

"Possibly," Wanda admitted.

"Don't you feel bad about terrorizing that poor girl?" Arcade asked.

"Not really," Wanda admitted.

"You have no heart," Lance sighed.

"I have a heart," Wanda said.

"Of stone," Pietro muttered.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Wanda shouted.

"Nothing," Pietro flinched.

"IT HAD BETTER BE NOTHING OR I WILL RIP YOUR SPLEEN OUT AND FEED IT TO YOU!" Wanda shouted.

"Let's go get ice cream and calm down," Lance said dragging the feuding siblings from the ally.

--------------------

**Ice Cream Place**

"No they are following us," Kurt said seeing the Brotherhood enter the restaurant.

"That Gothic chick scares me," Amanda said.

"Why? she's kinda cute," Kurt said.

"WHAT?" Amanda stood up and shouted.

"Did I say that out loud?" Kurt asked.

"YES! YOU ... YOU JERK!" Amanda tossed her ice cream at Kurt, and then turned to leave.

"AMANDA!" Kurt shouted reaching for her.

"YOU JERK!" Amanda grabbed a ash tray from a nearby table, with a lit cigarette in it.

"Don't do what I think you are going to do ..." Kurt said.

"I AM LEAVING!" Amanda tossed the ash tray at Kurt, coating him in ashes, and lighting his shirt on fire. She then left.

"Ah man, it will take forever to get these ashes out. Man Storm's going to kill me for smelling like a smoker," Kurt moaned.

"Uh, Kurt you're on fire," Lance said.

"What?" Kurt asked slightly confused until he felt the warmth, "WHAT! AH! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!"

"Hold still," Wanda said aiming at an ice cream dispenser. Her hex caused Kurt to be coated in ice cream, putting the fire out and freezing him. Of course it might have been simpler if she used the water fountain.

"Great now I am sticky," Kurt moaned.

"You look tasty," Wanda licked her lips.

"Eep," Kurt eeped then bamfed away.

"This is getting so wrong," Lance and Arcade moaned.

"Sugar plum," Todd practically cried.

"My sister just ..." Pietro said going into shock.

"Does he need mouth to mouth?" Todd asked standing over him.

"NOT IT!" Lance and Wanda shouted at the same time.

"NOT IT!" Arcade and Good Fred followed suit a few seconds later.

"Why me?" Todd moaned bending down.

"AHH!" Pietro woke up to find and smell Todd right in front of him, "WATER BRING ME WATER! AND SOAP! IN FACT JUST POINT ME TOWARDS THE NEAREST SOAP FACTORY!"

"Your welcome for saving your life," Todd muttered, "By the way, your face is turning green."

"MY FACE!" Pietro screamed, "FIRST THE BRUISE THE BLEMISHED MY PERFECTION NOW THIS DISCOLORATION!"

"What's wrong with green?" Todd asked.

"EVERYTHING! GREEN IS SO CHRISTMASY! YOU CAN'T HAVE GREEN IN THE FALL!" Pietro screamed.

"Isn't it Christmas eve right now?" Todd asked.

"No, it is September the ninth. Remember it takes the author time to write each chapter so he is behind schedule." Pietro said.

"Oh so it will take him several years to finish this story?" Todd asked.

"Yes," Pietro said.

"Guys, Third Wall," Lance said, "You not only broke it, you have burned it down. Smashed it. Then fed it to Freddy."

"It tasted good," Good Fred said.

"See," Lance said.

"Sorry," Pietro apologized, "Where was I, oh yeah. GREEN NO! I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW!"

"That reminds me, Cindy called, she has to cancel, something about a funeral and trial." Wanda said.

"So is SO insensitive. Breaking our date for a funeral," Pietro huffed, "I guess it is for the best. It will allow my color to return. How long does it take for the green to wear off, Toad?"

"I don't know," Todd said.

"WHAT?" Pietro started to vibrate at super speed.

--------------------

**Bowling Ally.**

"Think they forgot?" St.John asked as they continued to play. You could buy anything just saying 'Bill Xavier.'

"Yes," Amara said, "This game is boring once you start getting three hundred constantly."

"I know," St.John said, hitting another strike.

--------------------

**Ice Cream shop,**

"I am going to be green for the rest of my life," Pietro moaned. Having given up on vibrating, he was just sitting as the non-sympathetic Brotherhood members watched and ate ice cream.

"So what do we do now?" Arcade asked.

"Lite people on fire?" Wanda asked.

"How much time did you spend with Pyro?" Lance asked.

"A little," Wanda said secretively.

"She scares me," Arcade said.

"Me too Arcade, me too," Lance said quietly.

--------------------

**Bowling Ally**

"This is boring," Amara said.

"Yes it is," St.John lit his ball on fire and threw it, and then said unenthusiastically, "Another strike, amazing."

"Should we walk back to the institute?" Amara asked.

"I know this detour I can take," St.John laughed.

"Uh," Amara blinked, "Okay ..."

--------------------

**Ice Cream parlor**

"Come on Pietro, you won't be green forever," Lance tried to drag Pietro from his seat.

"BUT LOOK AT TOAD HE HAS BEEN GREEN FOREVER!" Pietro pointed.

"Ugh this is getting annoying," Wanda groaned and hexed Pietro's face back to its normal color.

"MY SAVIOR!" Pietro screamed and hugged Wanda.

"Must. Kill. Can't. Move. Arms." Wanda said slowly.

"Uh Pietro, might want to let go," Lance said as the room started to shake without his help.

"No he doesn't," Arcade said, "He let's go, Wanda can hex him."

"True," Lance said, "BROTHERHOOD ABANDON SHIP! WANDA'S GONNA BLOW!" Lance ran outside with Arcade and Todd. Good Fred was terrorizing the workers.

'BOOM' Pietro followed the three people with a shower of glass. Wanda began hexing Ice Cream at him.

"I'M SORRY!" Pietro scream and ran off, leaving an angry Wanda with the babbling buffoons called the Brotherhood.

"Lets go," Wanda said walking over to Duncan's car and removing the parking tickets, "We need a new car."

"Let's go steal one," Lance said.

--------------------

**Amanda's House, the doorstep**

'Ding Dong' Kurt rang the door bell.

"Hell- IT'S YOU!" Amanda's dad screamed.

"Mr. Sefton is Amanda there?" Kurt asked.

"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER COME HERE! AND TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!" Mr. Sefton screamed.

"Sir, I apologize for any damage I caused on my last visit ..." Kurt said.

"SHE IS NOW CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!" Mr. Sefton screamed.

"If I may see her I might -" Kurt began.

"GO AWAY!" Mr. Sefton screamed.

"Honey," Mrs. Sefton walked to the door, "Come in, Kurt is it?"

"Yes ma'ma, may I please see Amanda?" Kurt walked in watching Mr. Sefton nervously.

"Yes she's upstairs," Mrs. Sefton pointed at a stair case.

"Thank you," Kurt chose to walk instead of bamfing up.

"Amanda?" Kurt slowly opened the door.

"GO AWAY YOU DEMON!" Amanda screamed.

"Look I am sorry, about what I said," Kurt said turning his image inducer off.

"I love your blue fur," Amanda sniffled.

"Yeah I know," Kurt said sitting bu her, "I didn't mean anything by saying Wanda was cute. You know you're the only one for me."

"Really?" Amanda asked.

"Yes," Kurt said wrapping his tail around her.

"Why are you sticky?" Amanda asked, "And is that ice cream on your tail?" She licked his tail, "It is?"

"Come the night is young." Kurt bamfed away, leaving an angry dad and a sympathetic mom.

--------------------

**MoonCoins**

"See I told you it would burn," St.John bragged as his drink burned away happily.

"Wow, I am never drinking one of those again," Amara said watching the burning drink, as an Employee tried to figure out what the company policy for burning drinks was.

"Why would you drink one of these anyway? Starbucks is pathetic, the caffeine amount is to safe." St.John said, "Now caffeine tablets dissolved in hot chocolate. That is perfection. Or if you can get hold of it, caffeine in beer. And not the pansy American Beer. But the great Australian Beer. VIVA LA BEER!" St.john stood up for the last bit.

"I haven't ever had beer, Roma Nova was more into wine. And Logan's nose is to good to sneak any." Amara said.

"You aren't missing much in America, real beer is in my homeland." St.John said laughing.

--------------------

**Generic Electronics store.**

"Why are we here?" Wanda asked.

"We need new light bulbs," Lance said.

"Oh right," Wanda looked around, "They don't have any,"

"Darn," Lance saw that they didn't have any.

"Wonder where Pietro is," Arcade said to himself.

"I think he said something about a date," Todd said.

"The girl canceled though," Arcade said.

"Oh right," Todd nodded.

"WHAT KIND OF ELECTRONICS STORE DOESN'T HAVE LIGHT BULBS!" Lance yelled at the single worker.

"Uh ... we specialize in cell phones ..." The workers said backing away from Lance.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE LIGHT BULBS!" Lance yelled, "IS THE MAN TRYING TO KEEP US IN THE DARK?"

"Uh ... yes?" The worker said nervously, "I mean no ... uh?"

"YOU'RE WORKING FOR THEM! AREN'T YOU?" Lance ran and hid behind Wanda.

"We'l go somewhere else," Wanda said picking Lance up from where he was crouched down.

"Lance forgot his medication didn't he?" Todd asked the other guys.

"Yes," Good Fred said.

"And to think I use to have it made before I came to live with you guys," Arcade sighed.

"Must have been boring." Todd laughed.

--------------------

**MoonCoins**

"Uh sir, madame, could you please put you drink out?" The worker finally asked the two mutants.

"Way? What other use is this drink?" St.John asked lighting his second drink on fire.

"Well rich Coffee Addicts drink them," The worker said.

"Really?" St.John blinked, "Why would you spend five bucks on coffee then waste it by drinking it?"

"I don't know but they do, could you please put it out you are scarring the little kids." The worker said.

"Lil' tykes shouldn't drink coffee," St.John said.

"Look if their parents want to feed them coffee and stunt their growth, effectively raising a generation of midgets it is their problem," The worker said, "The central office says I serve to anyone who can pay, and stop customers from scarring others."

"Aren't those mutually exclusive? I can pay, but you claim I am scarring kids. Meaning that you can't serve me without scarring them." St.John said.

"True, just burn it somewhere else," The worker said.

"Fine, come my lovely eagle, we are too good for this place," St.John grabbed Amara's hand and lifted her up and dragged her from the store.

"Wow you gave up easily," Amara said after they turned a corner.

"Somethings aren't worth fighting," St.John said as a firetruck raced past them in the direction of MoonCoins.

"Right," Amara sighed watching another truck go by, sirens blaring.

"Hope they had insurance," St.John laughed.

"Hope the Professor isn't watching the news." Amara sighed.

--------------------

**Parking lot**

"I can't believe Duncan's car got towed," Wanda said starring at the empty parking spot.

"I can, how many tickets have we gotten on it?" Arcade said.

"Strangely losing this car wasn't as painful as losing my last one. Come we shall punish the man for taking our only form of transportation away," Lance said.

"Or we could steal that bus," Wanda pointed to a school bus at a nearby car wash.

"That works too," Lance started walking towards it.

"So who can drive a bus?" Arcade asked.

"I CAN!" Good Fred ripped the door open, (buses don't have alarms,) and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Shouldn't Lance drive, he usually drives," Wanda said.

"Can't drive a bus," Lance shrugged, "Strange to steal a bus on the weekend."

"Oh well," Wanda said getting into a seat at the front.

"Hey sugar plum," Todd sat beside her.

"NO!" Wanda shouted and hexed Todd into a window in the back of the bus.

"Painful," Lance said looking at the cracked window.

"Take 'er away," Arcade said.

"Were to?" Good Fred asked revving the engine.

"The mall, some of us are planning to burn down the American Turkey," Wanda said.

"What is it with the arson kick lately?" Lance asked the heavens.

"Nothing, now stop breaking the fourth wall," A figure reminiscent of God from Monty Python and the Holy Grail appeared and said, casting lightning down to make sure the muses behaved.

--------------------

**Park**

"This is romantic," Amanda said holding Kurt tightly as they walked, "You never told me why you had ice cream on you."

"Well, you lit me on fire when you threw the ash tray at me ..." Kurt explained.

"Sorry about that," Amanda blushed.

"... Then Wanda covered me in ice cream," Kurt finished.

"Why did she do that?" Amanda asked.

"Cause I was on fire and she didn't notice the water fountain by the bathroom." Kurt said.

"Oh," Amanda said, "She isn't very observant."

"No she isn't," Kurt nodded and kissed Amanda.

"You're so sweet," Amanda giggled.

'Chicks dig the fuzzy dude,' Kurt thought to himself.

--------------------

**Mall**

"Here we go, the mall, to commit arson," Good Fred said parking the bus.

"This isn't going to go as planned is it?" Arcade asked Good Fred once the other three where out of the bus.

"No it isn't," Good Fred said undoing the wires that he had hot wired.

"Where's Pietro?" Arcade asked remembering that he wasn't with them.

"I would guess France buying beauty products to cleanse his skin." Wanda said. She couldn't be more wrong. He was in Spain. "Come on the fire won't start itself," she started to walk inside.

"Why are we helping her commit arson?" Lance asked the others.

"No clue," Good Fred said.

"We're bored," Arcade said.

"She's a goddess," Todd sighed, watching her walk to the door.

"Okay, should we stay out here and keep the engine warm or go in with her?" Lance asked.

"Stay," Arcade and Good Fred said.

"I follow her everywhere," Todd said and then hopped off after her.

"What do you want to bet they get arrested?" Lance asked.

"No cop can take Wanda," Good Fred said.

"Toad on the other hand," Arcade said, "Wanda would leave him."

--------------------

**American Turkey**

"I love their clothes here," Amanda said to a slightly bored Kurt.

"I hate them," Kurt muttered as Jean telepathically pestered him about his date.

"What was that?" Amanda asked.

"Nothing," Kurt sighed before adding to Jean in his head, 'STOP PESTERING ME!"

'Pay back,' Jean thought with a laugh.

'I shall kill both of you, the Professor will have to read my mind to find the bones,' Kurt thought.

'That's not nice,' Jean thought.

'SO?' If it is possible to scream while thinking Kurt did.

"OW!" Jean physically cried out when Kurt yelled in her mental ear.

"What's wrong Jean?" Scott asked her.

"Nothing," Jean said, "Come on, I have feeling something bad is about to happen here."

"There's why," Scott said seeing Wanda enter the store.

"Oh great, the Brotherhood is going to attack," Jean groaned.

"X-MEN MOVE OUT!" Scott shouted.

"Uh Scotty, we are the only two here," Jean pointed to where Kurt had just teleported off with his date.

"JEAN MOVE OUT!" Scott yelled.

"Oh joy," Jean sighed as Scott preceded to try and attack the Scarlet Witch. That went as well as predicted.

"Ow," Scott moaned from the clothes rack he had ended up in.

"Perhaps we should try talking," Jean suggested pulling a dazed Scott out of the clothes.

"Talking is fun," Scott said in a funny voice.

"Wanda could you please not kill me boyfriend?" Jean asked as Wanda walked over.

"Fine, I'm burning this place down though," Wanda said searching her pockets for a lighter.

"Uh, why?" Jean asked while holding Scott steady.

"It irritates me," Wanda said simply, "WHERE IS THAT DAMN LIGHTER!"

"Uh, maybe you left it in your car," Jean suggested.

"ARGH! And the police towed Duncan's car," Wanda complained.

"Duncan's?" Jean asked.

"We stole it for a bit," Wanda said.

"Oh, he deserves it," Jean said.

"Yeah he does," Wanda grumbled and turned to leave, passing Todd who had just walked in.

"Leaving already sugar plum?" Todd asked.

"Yes," Wanda hexed Todd into a display.

--------------------

**Roof Of A Church**

"I love it when you teleport," Amanda said as the two lovebirds sat watching the town from their perch.

"Ya chicks dig the fuzzy dude," Kurt bragged to himself, "Do you smell smoke?"

"You just teleported, of course I do," Amanda giggled.

"No it's not me it is something else?" Kurt sniffed some.

"That buildings burning," Amanda pointed at the MoonCoins.

"AH WE LEFT PYRO AND AMARA UNSUPERVISED!" Kurt yelled.

"So?" Amanda asked.

"Pyro has the mentality of a first grader, and the powers to burn things ... fast." Kurt said, "He also has an unhealthy obsession with fire, and he has corrupted Amara,"

"Oh, that sounds bad," Amanda said watching the fire trucks swarm to MoonCoins, "He has good taste in what to burn down though."

"I liked their coffee," Kurt said.

"Really? Wow I thought you being a mutant was weird," Amanda said.

--------------------

**Kentucky Roasted Turkey**

"Why are we here?" Lance asked.

"I am hungry," Wanda said as Good Fred parked the bus.

"So am I," Good Fred said.

"That was predictable," Arcade muttered.

"Hey look St.John is here," Lance said seeing St.John walk up with Amara, "That fire chick seems to be paranoid, she keeps looking over her shoulder."

"Wonder why, hey look blue boy just appeared," Wanda pointed to a Kurt who was turning his inducer on, "I thought that Amanda human dumped him?"

"YOU LEFT US!" St.John saw Kurt, "Why are you covered in ice cream?"

"Long story," Kurt said, Amanda just blushed, and Wanda laughed.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE US!" St.John yelled.

"Uh, we wanted to be alone," Kurt said.

"Oh, that explains the ice cream." St.John laughed, "Good job bluey."

"How does that explain the ice cream?" Amanda asked.

"What you didn't use that ice cream while-" St.John began only to have Amara smack her hand over his mouth.

"You left us, and took the keys to the Van," Amara said.

"Oops," Kurt pulled the keys from his pocket.

"Hey Freddy, go get us some concessions this might get good," Lance said handing Good Fred some of Duncan's money.

"Okay," Good Fred ran off into the KRT.

"YOU LEFT US STRANDED AT THE BOWLING ALLY! YOU KNOW HOW BORING THAT GOT AFTER THE FIRST FEW HOURS?" Amara screamed turning into fire.

"Uh, Kurtty, I'll go get us a seat," Amanda ran from Amara.

"NO BURN AMARA FIRE BAD!" Kurt ran from the angry princess.

"HEY YOUR TAIL IS ON FIRE! LET ME HELP!" St.John yelled and used his powers to spread to fire.

"MY TAIL!" Kurt screamed.

"Thanks," Lance said when Good Fred came back out with their food, "This is entertaining."

"What'd I miss?" Good Fred asked.

"Well, Kurt stranded the other two at the bowling ally. They are getting revenge. Kurt's tail is now a torch," Wanda said, "BURN BABY BURN!" she yelled when Kurt's pants caught on fire.

"Poor Kurt," Lance said.

"If you feel sorry for him help him," Todd said laughed, "DIE FUZZY!"

"Not that sorry," Lance said as the fire spread to Kurt's torso, "He use to have a crush on Kitty remember, I can't feel that sorry."

"Right," Todd laughed eating a handful of popcorn Turkey.

"I wonder if that is what spontaneous combustion is like," Arcade mused, "Reminds me of this one game, only less zombies and more girls."

"There's only one girl out there," Wanda pointed out.

"Right the game had no girls, not a very good game," Arcade said.

"So should we leave them?" Lance asked when Kurt collapsed on the ground.

"Hold on," Todd said, he then hopped over to the fallen body of Kurt and stole his wallet, neither of Kurt's teammates helped him.

"Uh you done with him?" Amanda asked walking out to the two X-men that were standing.

"Yes," Amara replied.

"Okay," Amanda grabbed a groaning Kurt and dragged him inside, "Here are your keys, can you pick me up in a few hours?"

"Sure," St.John smiled, "Come Amara we have a few hours and a van."

"What trouble can that cause?" Amara asked herself.

"None what so ever," St.John answered, not realizing it was rhetorical.

"Do you honestly believe we will cause no trouble?" Amara asked.

"No," St.John admitted.

"Okay, as long as you are honest with yourself," Amara said.

"So, home?" Lance asked the Brotherhood.

"Sure, I have to organize my knife collection," Wanda said.

"Creepy," Arcade muttered.

"I love knifes," Todd told Wanda.

"Good you can test the blade sharpness, on all one hundred of them," Wanda smiled evilly.

"Uh ..." Todd gulped.

"Do you really want to get slime on them?" Lance asked.

"No," Wanda sighed.

"HALLELUJAH!" Todd cried out.

--------------------

**Side of the Highway, about an hour from Bayville**

"We didn't start the fire," St.John serenaded Amara by a fire, "It was always burning since the world's been turning. NO WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE!"

"I love this song, it has funny lyrics," Amara sighed, and then yawned.

Several hours later you could find both of them curled up unconscious.

--------------------

**KRT**

"This is pay back isn't it," Amanda grumbled as she called her parents, Kurt was still unconscious in a booth.

"What happened to that kid?" A worker asked pointing at Kurt.

"We accidentally stranded some of his friends," Amanda sighed, "Hi Dad ... yeah ... My boyfriend's unconscious ... No it wasn't drugs ... Alcohol is a drug so it is included in that ... Can you give him a ride home ... Thanks, we are at the Kentucky Roasted Turkey."

"Fire bad," Kurt moaned, "Kill both of them,"

"Tomorrow, just relax," Amanda sat by him and put her hands on his head and gently rubbed his temples.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"We still need light bulbs," Lance said.

"And tampons," Wanda said going to her room.

"Uh oh," Every single guy's (everyone but Wanda) eyes went wide at those two words. Words that strike fear into mortals' hearts. Words that when spoken by Wanda promise death and destruction.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"We should have our people regroup," A general said to Jamie #3 and the other survivor.

"We are all that is left," Jamie #3 moaned.

"This is a failed campaign." The general pointed out.

"Three people isn't that bad," The other survivor said, "By the way we are out of food,"

"Who votes to eat the private?" The general asked.

"AH!" The other survivor and the private screamed.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (Isn't Hanukkah over now? Guess Christmas is over too.), Happy New Years._

_PLEASE review._


	17. Sept 10, Torturing Kelly

_Disclaimer: Sush. Be weary weary wuiet. I'm hunting wiswaimers._

**September 10 - Sunday - Torturing Kelly**

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

Every single guy woke up and walked down stairs as if facing the executioner. In fact Lance was thoughtful enough to put funeral music on. Surprisingly Wanda just glared when they entered the kitchen.

"Fred go buy me these," Wanda handed Good Fred a piece of paper with a list of feminine products on it.

"Why me?" Good Fred asked.

"You are the only one that can drive the bus," Wanda snarled.

"Right, uh I'll be back," Good Fred was smart and ran, hopefully he would return, for the sake of the others.

"He isn't coming back is he?" Lance asked fearing the answer.

"He has a wad of cash, an empty stomach, and a mode of transportation," Todd said, "He is going to get sidetracked.

--------------------

**On the road with Good Fred.**

"I'm hungry," Good Fred said fingering his wad of Duncan's cash, "Hey look a Pizza Barn," he navigated the bus into the parking lot of the Pizza Barn, and up to the drive through. (_A/N:1_)

"Hi three hundred cheese pizzas, ninety peperoni, and one meat addict's." Good Fred ordered, the Meat Addict's was for Wanda so she wouldn't kill him.

"It will take us some time to make that," The pimply teen said.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"TOAD STOP ASKING ME IF I NEED ANYTHING!" Wanda hexed the annoying frog into a wall.

"LANCE WHERE IS MY STEAK!" Wanda screamed at Lance who was in the backyard trying to turn on the ancient possessed grill.

"ALMOST DONE!" Lance lied, "Please work, you are our last hope," the grill responded by shooting a strange liquid out instead of gas. The liquid smelled like Todd.

"Wonder what she's mad about." Pietro said as the house shook ever so slightly.

"Why oh why did I move here?" Arcade groaned.

"Here's your steak," Lance ran into Wanda's room, having nuked the steak in the microwave.

"I changed my mind I'm not hungry anymore," Wanda said almost innocently, "Hand me that makeup kit,"

"Sure," Lance carefully handed her the kit.

"This house is so boring," Wanda complained.

"TOAD STOP PEEKING IN MY WINDOW OR WE WILL HAVE FROG LEGS FOR DINNER!" Wanda screamed, "LANCE GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Wanda then hexed both boys.

"Ow," Lance groaned from his indent by the front door. Todd remained silent in his cozy crater.

"I am bored," Wanda said walking downstairs.

"Then go play with some friends," Pietro said.

"What friends?" Arcade laughed, only to get hexed across the room. He landed on the miniature Blank and Smith, both of whom groaned.

"Go torture someone," Pietro suggested.

"How about you?" Wanda asked glowing slightly.

"Uh maybe Duncan ..." Pietro looking around nervously and not seeing a clear exit.

"Duncan is currently in jail," Wanda hissed, "Something about unpaid parking tickets."

"Uh the X-Geeks," Lance suggested getting up slowly, "NO WAIT NOT KITTY!"

"The X-Jerks would be fun the torture," Wanda laughed and then clutched her sides in pain, "I hate life,"

"NOT MY KITTY! TORTURE ANYONE BUT HER!" Lance sobbed.

"You?" Wanda asked, "That would be fun, I have this new knife I want to try."

"Uh ... how about a politician that is corrupt," Lance said nervously.

"To many to choose from," Wanda shrugged, "Now were is that duct tape?"

"Kelly?" Lance suggested picking the first name to come to mind.

"He's a jerk why would I torture him?" Wanda asked finding the Brotherhood's stash of duct tape.

"You just answered yourself," Lance said.

"I did , didn't I?" Wanda said, "WHERE IS FREDDY WITH MY PAIN RELIEVERS?"

"I would hate to be Kelly," Arcade groaned getting up, "Who wants to lay low for a few days?"

"Me," Lance and Pietro said. Todd was still out cold.

"For he sake of Kelly I hope Freddy hurries," Pietro said as Wanda grumbled to herself trying to find her thumb tacks.

"Why did you mention torturing to her?" Lance asked.

"Hey you said Kelly, not even he deserves this," Pietro said.

"She was going to hurt Kitty," Lance whinnied.

"So?" Pietro asked.

"DIE!" Lance jumped at him but missed.

"Don't worry about Kelly, not like she can find him." Arcade said, turning on the news.

"... and senatorial candidate Kelly is giving a speech in the Bayville mall ..." Arcade turned it back off.

"She acts stranger than most girls," Lance muttered as Wanda walked out.

"Wanda has always been single minded, she gets her mind on something, she doesn't stop." Pietro said.

"Like what?" Arcade asked.

"Her dad," Lance muttered.

"Huh?" Arcade asked.

"She wants to kill her dad," Lance said.

"Oh right, she hasn't really said much about while I was here," Arcade said.

"Yeah, she seems to be distracted," Lance shrugged.

"Must be school," Pietro shrugged.

"We have skip most days." Lance pointed out.

--------------------

**Pizza Barn**

"La la la," Good Fred sang.

"Your pizzas," A man handed Good Fred a stack of pizzas.

"Here's your money," Good Fred handed the man the wad of cash, "I hope Wanda's stuff doesn't cost me that much."

--------------------

**Mall**

"This is fun," Wanda giggled as she hexed Kelly's pants off, then his secretary's skirt up, "Who would have pegged Kelly as someone who wears pink latex?"

"This is surprisingly tamed for Wanda," Lance whispered to Pietro.

"It is," Pietro agreed while Kelly attempted to explain to the cameras that it was those evil mutants. No one was believing him.

"So ... " Lance searched for an excuse to leave, "I need to buy Kitty some books she wants, be back later. Don't let Wanda kill him," Lance said and then left.

"Coward," Pietro muttered.

"Smart," Arcade muttered, "Well, I need to go buy ... uh ... Darn I don't have a girlfriend I can use as an excuse ... uh ... BY!" Arcade ran off.

"Coward," Pietro muttered.

"Isn't Wanda's laugh heavenly," Todd sighed as Wanda giggled.

--------------------

**Bookstore, where Kelly was signing his new book_ 'Muties and Their Evil Stuff'_**

"Sorry no muties," A large man shoved Lance out of the store.

"THIS IS A PUBLIC MALL!" Lance screamed.

"No it is private property," The man said, "Now scram,"

'GRR!' Lance growled and started to shake the ground.

The minor earthquake knocked over a tiki torch display at the next store. The torches were lit. One lit torch fell over and hit a plant lighting it on fire. The lit plant fell over when a self of expensive glass things fell over and hit it. Then the burning plant managed to roll in its pot and enter the book store. Blame Wanda, Murphy, or the-Plot for that unlikely occurrence. I'll let you guess what happened after that.

"MY BOOKS!" Kelly ran trying to save his books, which considering that they were at the front of the store where the fire started there wasn't much hope for saving them.

"MY ROMANCE NOVELS!" A girl screamed as a very large section of romances burned.

"I saved my mystery book," A man cuddled a book, not noticing the last half was missing.

"Oops," Lance blinked, "Well the computer section isn't burning, I can get Kitty her books."

Amazingly Lance was able to buy the books before the entire store went up like a room full of paper.

--------------------

**Some time later at the arcade**

"DIE ZOMBIES DIE DIE!"Arcade laughed shooting virtual zombies while Kelly attempted to promote an anti-mutant game over his screams.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT BOY UP!" Kelly screamed.

"Hey this is my store, that kid is actually spending money unlike you," The owner of the arcade said.

"I AM HERE ON A PROMOTION OF THIS GAME!" Kelly screamed.

"So, that game is pathetic, anyone over five years old could finish it in a few minutes," The owner scoffed.

"LISTEN YOU LITTLE GEEK-" Kelly began.

"GEEK?" The owner screamed, "I'LL SO YOU WHAT GEEKS CAN DO!" The owner proceeded to jump onto Kelly's back and began banging his fists on him.

"OW! GET THIS MONKEY OFF ME!" Kelly screamed.

"DIE ZOMBIES!" Arcade ignored all parties.

By the time Mall security was able to get cops there, Kelly had left with a slight limp and the game he had been promoting was destroyed. And Arcade had filled the high score table with his name.

"That went better than expected," The owner of the arcade groaned from behind a counter, he was bruised all over and had slight burns from where the game had exploded.

"I am not cleaning that up." A janitor said.

--------------------

**Random place in the mall**

"Is that all Dorothy?" Kelly groaned as the camera crew packed up.

"Yes, you have nothing else to do today," Dorothy said checking his schedule.

"Good, my ratings couldn't take another plummet," Kelly groaned, "I am getting some ice cream."

"I have a strange feeling of impending doom." Dorothy muttered.

--------------------

**Food Court**

"Yum," Wanda sighed finishing off her fifth thing of ice cream.

"Be glad that the person at the ice cream counter likes me," Pietro said coming back with another strawberry ice cream.

"For once your flirting is useful," Wanda grabbed the cup from Pietro, "Hey look Kelly's back for more fun,"

"Can I borrow your ice cream?" Pietro asked.

"Fine, I wanted chocolate anyway." Wanda handed Pietro her ice cream.

"No watch this," Pietro sped off and covered Kelly's face in ice cream. He then used the left overs and shoved them down Kelly's pants.

"COLD!" Kelly screamed.

"That was pathetic," Wanda said, she waved her hand, causing vanilla ice cream to shot from the quasi restaurant that was selling. Directed by illogical odds the ice cream covered Kelly. As if to mock Kelly, a single cherry sat on top.

"To obvious," Pietro scoffed pointing at the various people that were now starring, "The idea is to torture him with out bystanders realizing someone else is doing it. Observe," Pietro sped off and rapidly undressed Kelly, and exchanged his clothes with some from Sexy-Women-Street-Clothing-TM. No one noticed this.

"Funny, but you forgot the underwear," Wanda waved her hand and Kelly's underwear ripped off his body, causing him to scream. Then somehow lingerie from Victoria's Not So Secret manged to wiggle up his tight pants and fit around him.

"OW!" Kelly scream.

"He needs makeup," Pietro said. Pietro ran off to a store and grabbed a bunch of make up. "Do you think he is a winter or a summer?" Pietro ran back to clarify with Wanda before covering Kelly in makeup. (_A/N: 2_)

"Hm, I would say more of a Gothic appearance instead of a normal one," Wanda said.

"That would require different clothes," Pietro pointed out.

"True," Wanda admitted, "Summer." Pietro quickly covered a stumbling Kelly in makeup.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Kelly screamed.

"A wig don't you think?" Pietro asked coming back to Wanda with a replacement ice cream.

"Blond or brunette?" Wanda asked.

"I think blond with pink highlights," Pietro said, "He is going to look so fabulous."

"Right ..." Wanda stared at her brother for a few seconds before hexing a blond wig through a store selling paint and onto Kelly's head. Kelly was unable to remove it due to improbable odds.

"Something is missing," Pietro muttered examining the poor man.

"His nails," Wanda said.

"Right," Pietro was able to give him a manicure and pedicure in less than a second.

"He needs a wax," Pietro came back, "His legs are so hairy, it is so gross."

"You are enjoying this to much," Wanda said, hexing all of Kelly's natural hair off. Having hair hexed off is worse than waxing.

"MOMMY!" Kelly screamed as sensitive hair was ripped out, "OW!"

"You didn't have to remove that hair," Pietro said as Kelly clutched a valuable part of his body.

"I wanted to see him cry," Wanda shrugged as Kelly balled his eyes out.

"You are evil," Pietro said simply, "I wonder if we could do the same to the security guards?"

"Let's dress that fat one up as a ballerina," Wanda said pointing to a uniformed person who was eating donuts.

"That's a cop not a security guard," Pietro pointed out.

"So?" Wanda asked.

"No reason," Pietro proceeded to torture the poor man. Wanda helped without even moving.

"My aim is getting better." Wanda muttered to herself.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"Where is everyone?" Good Fred asked parking the bus, "This bus is very conspicuous, hopefully we don't drive it to school, that would be asking for trouble."

--------------------

**Food Court**

"This is getting boring," Wanda yawned as she wrapped up the fifteenth security guard, "Where is Fred?"

"Uh, he doesn't know that we left the house," Pietro pointed out.

"I need my medicine," Wanda hissed.

"Uh, right one ticket on the Pietro express to home," Pietro grabbed Wanda and sped her home.

"Look Fred is already here," Pietro said pointing at the bus.

"Good," Wanda stormed inside, "FRED WHERE ARE MY ITEMS!"

"Uh about that," Good Fred said, remembering that he had failed to buy them, "I forgot them,"

"YOU FORGOT THEM!" Wanda screamed breaking the nonexistent light bulbs

"Uh, I got you some Pizza," Good Fred held up said sacrifice, "It's a Meat Addict."

"Meat..." Wanda's eyes glazed over as she snatched the pizza, "Go back and get me my stuff,"

"I used all the money," Good Fred pointed to a large stack of empty pizza boxes.

"Fine I'll get them," Pietro sighed, before running off and racing past security with Wanda's products.

--------------------

**Mall**

"Where's Wanda and Pietro?" Lance asked Arcade when they ran into each other, "And why is Kelly dressed in drag and crying?"

"For that second question I think it's best we never find out," Arcade said starring at the poor man and security guards, "Same with those other guys ..."

"Hey Lance," Kitty smiled and walked over to Lance.

"Hey Kitty," Lance said with a goofy smile.

"And he's gone," Arcade sighed.

"Hey Lance,"

"Hey Kitty,"

"Hey Lance,"

"Hey Kitty,"

"What a stimulating discussion," Arcade muttered.

"THERE SHE IS!" Scott rounded a corner in the Mall, "KITTY WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE MANSION SO WE CAN LEAVE FOR OUR MISSION!"

"Do you always wear that uniform?" Arcade asked, which considering that Scott was in his X-man uniform was a valid question.

"Yes, I keep it under my civilian clothes-" Scott explained.

"Aren't you a civilian. I mean just because you are a super hero doesn't make you a non civilian. You aren't part of the government. So you can't have civilian clothes, only regular clothes?" Arcade said.

"True, but-" Scott began.

"SCOTT GET KITTY OVER HERE NOW!" Jean yelled not bothering to use telepathy.

"YES JEAN!" Scott yelled, "Kitty come on," he dragged on her arm to no avail.

"So Kitty ..." Lance asked,

"Yeah ..." Kitty agreed.

"I was ..." Lance hammered out the details.

"Yeah that is ..." Kitty said.

"Yeah ..." Lance agreed.

"So ..." Kitty said.

"Right ..." Lance agreed. Kitty then let Scott drag her off.

"WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?" Arcade yelled.

"I got a date with Kitty on Friday, we're crashing Duncan's party. I am picking her up at five. She's sneaking out from the Mansion, hopefully Logan doesn't catch her." Lance said.

"You guys communicated all that?" Arcade blinked.

"Yeah ..." Lance said.

"NO NOT WITH ME! ARE YOU TWO SURE YOU AREN'T TELEPATHS?" Arcade screamed.

"Sure ..." Lance said starring at Kitty's rapidly departing form.

"Great," Arcade sighed.

"Where's Toad?" Lance finally snapped out of his Kitty daze.

--------------------

**Jewelry Store**

"This is perfect for my snuckums," Todd smiled holding up a liberated necklace, "Strange that she is a Jew that wears crosses. At least they are easier to find than a Star of David."

"Did you pay for that?" A worker asked.

"'Corse he did Bob, see he has a bag," Bill another worker pointed to Todd's liberated bag. Todd had liberated it with the necklace.

"Oh right, who would steal a bag?" Bob agreed.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

"I love Meat pizzas," Wanda said.

"Yeah, you have made several animals extinct by eating them," Pietro said.

"Only one," Wanda defended, "Not several,"

"Amazingly I was actually joking when I said that," Pietro muttered as the combination of grease and mild pain relievers soothed Wanda's mood fluctuations.

"Think we can keep he drugged up all the time?" Good Fred asked starring at the empty bottle of mild pain killers.

"No, I'm worried about the psychological ramifications of a drug addiction combined with her less than clean escape from that memory modification," Pietro said.

"Oh, what does that mean?" Good Fred asked.

"A drug addiction would be very bad," Pietro clarified.

"Oh," Good Fred understood, "So we can't keep her drugged?"

"No," Pietro sighed, "So where are the others?"

"Don't know, they were with you, where ever you two disappeared to," Good Fred said.

"Oh they are at the mall still, forgot them there," Pietro slapped his head and zoomed back to the mall. Ironically passing Kelly who was driving home. The speed at which Pietro was traveling created a swoosh of wind that knocked Kelly's car off the road.

--------------------

**Mall**

"Think they're coming back?" Lance asked.

"Who knows, why don't we just take the stolen car and drive off?" Arcade asked.

"Cause Wanda will kill us if we leave her," Lance said.

"We can blame it on Toad?" Arcade muttered.

"While that would probably work, it requires that we talk to her before she kills us. She probably won't give us a chance." Lance said.

"Oh," Arcade saw the logic.

"Hey guys," Pietro appeared seemingly from nowhere.

"Oh high, where's Wanda?" Lance asked not really caring.

"Home, where's Toad?" Pietro asked.

"Who knows, probably robbing someone," Lance shrugged.

"So we can leave now?" Arcade asked.

"Yeah, no point in staying if Wanda isn't here to kill us for leaving her," Lance agreed.

"And Toad?" Pietro asked.

"What about him?" Lance asked.

"Nothing just wondering since he has the paper clip we need to hot wire the car," Pietro said.

"#$! THAT LITTLE THIEF STOLE MY PAPER CLIP!" Lance scream, "&#&!!!"

"Don't worry I got one in my towel," Arcade said and pulled a towel out of his jacket. The towel not only dropped a paperclip when unraveled, it dropped several incriminating artifacts.

"Hide those before a cop sees," Lance ordered. But before they could leave, Todd found them carrying a bag for Wanda.

--------------------

**On the Road**

"GET OUT OF MY $$ WAY YOU LUNATIC!" Lance screamed running Kelly off the road. Kelly had been driving pretty well considering that half the required parts of his car were missing from where Pietro's wind had thrown him off the road.

"Have you been giving Kitty driving lessons again?"Arcade asked.

"No why?" Lance asked.

"No reason," Arcade mumbled before putting his head between his legs and starting a prayer.

"Weird, I never pegged Arcade as the religious type," Lance muttered seeing the scared geek.

"... protect Wanda ..." Todd said in his own prayer.

"I'm not going that fast," Lance said, using his powers to clear the road for himself.

"Earthquakes and fast cars, not a good mix." Arcade muttered.

"Do you want Pietro to win this race?" Lance asked.

"YES!" was the response.

"Fine," Lance slammed on the breaks, he didn't come to a complete stop, but losing 120 mph of momentum still was a lot. Now they were cruising at the safe speed of 75 mph.

--------------------

**Ditch on the side of the road.**

"This is the mutants fault," Kelly moaned as paramedics attempted to open his car. They were doing pretty well using only a few sticks and stones.

"We need more funding for some good steel cutters, what with the increase in car crashes," One told the other.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"YOU LOST!" Pietro gloated to Lance.

"Shut up, these losers didn't want me to go too fast," Lance said.

"I'M FASTER THAN YOU!" Pietro gloated."BOW TO ME! FOR I AM GOD INCARNATED IN THE FLESH OF MAN!"

"Wasn't Jesus suppose to be humble?" Good Fred asked.

"HEY! I AM HUMBLE! IF I WASN'T HUMBLE I WOULD SAY HOW MY COOKING BEATS YOURS!" Pietro yelled.

"You just did," Good Fred pointed out.

"Did not,"

"Did too,"

"Did not,"

"Yes you did,"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"NO!"

"PIETRO SHUT UP!" Wanda's shout came from the next room.

"SORRY!" Pietro yelled.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Wanda screamed, "I hate this part of being a girl,"

"You are scared," Lance laughed at Pietro.

"No I am not," Pietro said, "STOP LAUGHING!"

"PIETRO!" Wanda's shout was followed by a flying couch.

"Owww ... " Pietro moaned from his dent in the wall. Every Brotherhood boy with the exception of Arcade has their own body dent in the wall. Pietro had several. He was currently in his older dent that is in the main hall.

"So, who wants to avoid that room?" Lance asked.

"HEY WANDA I STOLE YOU SOMETHING!" Todd ignored Lance's sage advice.

"DIE WORM BREATH!" Wanda scream, Todd received his second dent in the wall.

"Pain ..." Todd groaned.

"This is pretty," Wanda examined the necklace Todd had dropped, "Eww it has slime on it ... Now it's melting ... HELP THE SLIME IS BURNING THROUGH THE FLOOR!"

"Oh right, must have got some of the acid slime I used to burn into the glass case on it," Todd said swaying slightly as he stood.

"TOAD MY HANDS ARE BURNING!"

"RUN THEM UNDER WATER SUGAR CAKES!"

Wanda hexed Todd for what he called her, then ran her hands under water. "Kill Toad boy ..."

"Run while she's busy," Lance whispered to Todd as he used one of the many fire extinguishers, that the Brotherhood had stocked up on while Tabitha lived with them, to put out the minor fire the acid slime had started.

"Why didn't that stuff burn through the necklace in the car?" Arcade asked no one.

"Soooo ... who wants to watch TV?" Lance asked.

"Sorry, I broke it," Wanda said.

"Okay, uh Prank Calls?" Lance asked.

--------------------

**Split scene between Kelly's Home and Brotherhood House.**

"What a day," Kelly moaned, his complaint was interrupted by the phone, "I hope that is the morgue calling to say they have all the mutants due to a freak accident ... Hello Kelly here,"

"This is Giovanni, where is my money?" Lance said in a fake Italian accent.

"What?" Kelly asked.

"We told your Secretary that if you don't pay then you would pay. If you get my drift," Lance said in the fake mob accent.

"She never gave me any message from you," Kelly said in a slight panic.

"That is unfortunate for you. HEY TONY TELL BRUNO THAT WE WILL HAVE SOME MORE SAUSAGE FOR HIS PIZZA SHOP!" Lance yelled back into the background.

"WHAT?" Kelly scream.

"This is a said day," Lance said calmly, "We will be by in a few minutes." Lance hung up and burst out laughing.

"That wasn't that funny," Wanda said.

"Fine you do one," Lance handed her the phone.

"HELP POLICE!" Wanda screamed into the phone in mock panic.

"This isn't the police," Kelly said slightly panicked.

"HELP THE MOB'S AFTER ME! THEY ARE THREATENING TO MAKE ME INTO PIZ-" Wanda cut off and hung the phone up.

"That wasn't that great, you just built onto Lance's idea," Arcade said.

"So?" Wanda asked, "Everyone knows that a woman is more trust worthy than a guy."

"Here let me try," Good Fred yelled and grabbed the phone, amazingly it didn't break, "Hello?"

"Hello?" Kelly moaned.

"Is your fridge running?" Good Fred asked.

'Oh great a prank call,' Kelly thought to himself before adding into the phone, "No it isn't,"

"Well you better go catch it then," Good Fred said.

"I SAID IT WASN'T RUNNING YOU DOLT!" Kelly screamed.

"Oh, uh then you better fix it?" Good Fred said.

"AH!" Kelly slammed his phone down, effectively ending all calls. Can't get calls if it is broken can you?

--------------------

**Kelly's home.**

"It is those damn mutants," Kelly mumbled rocking back and forth in front of a lit fire place, "I shall have my revenge ... Soon they shall fear my name FOR MY NAME IS ROBERT MICHEAL KELLY!"

"Your middle name is Francis not Micheal," Dorothy his secretary muttered while attempting to convince him to sleep, "Why didn't I stay at the school, I was up for the head secretary spot?"

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"Are we going to school tomarrow?" Lance asked attempting for the twelth time to call Kelly.

"Sure why not we have nothing better to do," Pietro shrugged, turning on the TV so they could see what they were doing, "We really need light bulbs, this is getting ridiculous."

"We'll get them tomarrow," Wanda said going to her room, "Toad never get me another present."

"Night," Lance went to his room, "I have a date with Kitty, la-la..."

"Scary," Arcade muttered, "I am starting to regret getting my parents arrested."

"NIGHT EVERYONE!" Todd shouted happily and bounced to his room.

"TOAD THIS IS MY ROOM NOT YOURS!" Wanda screamed at Todd when he entered her room.

"I need a date." Pietro muttered, going to his room.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"Okay my army is gone," Jamie #3 finished burying the last General, "Hey look people,"

"Let's eat the weird kid," A native said in his native tongue to the other natives.

"I have no clue what you said but it sounded bad." Jamie #3 said.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_I've been updating pretty quickly these last few chapters, that will probably end with this chapter as I restart school in a few days._

_1: I have actually seen a Pizza place with a drive through, pointless as you have to wait a long time._

_2: What is the difference between the two? note: I am a guy and have no clue what the difference is._

_PLEASE review._


	18. Sept 11, Revenge of the Kelly

_Disclaimer: What do you think?_

_I should be studying for my exams, but I wrote this instead._

_**September 11 - Monday - Revenge of the Kelly**_

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"Today feels like on of those days," Lance muttered getting up surprisingly before his alarm went off.

"DIE YOU &$ # ALARM #$& CLOCK!" Wanda shouted when her alarm clock woke her up. The whole house shook.

"FREDDY SMASH!" Good Fred screamed attacking the demonic device that woke him from his dream of cotton candy heaven.

Todd, Arcade, and Pietro all dealt with their clocks in a civilized fashion. Pietro's ended up in the ocean. Todd melted his with acid slime. And Arcade defied logic by actually getting up and turning it off.

"So how are we getting to school, we can't really drive the bus there," Lance said looking out the kitchen window at the yellow bus, "We really should get rid of it. It is pretty good evidence saying that we stole it."

"Walk?" Arcade asked.

"Run," Pietro said, before disappearing.

"We could steal, I mean borrow, the neighbors car," Wanda said.

"Okay we'll do that, Toad go hot wire it," Lance ordered trying to fix his breakfast, "I am getting the feeling that tells you that you should have stayed in bed."

--------------------

**Kelly's House**

"I shall have revenge today," Kelly said to himself as Dorothy fixed his medication.

--------------------

**First Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade, and Piotr**

"I love this class," Arcade laughed hacking into the CIA's records and removing several key files.

"I feel like I should report this to someone," Piotr said looking over Arcade's shoulder.

--------------------

**First Period, Ethics Class, Mr Lowe. Subbed by: Sir Lancelot**

**with Todd, Pietro, Evil Fred, Elizabeth, and Duncan**

"Okay this isn't Mystique. Not Mystique, not mystique," Todd and Pietro repeated to themselves when they saw Elizabeth enter the class.

"Are you two crazy?" Duncan sneered.

"He is," Pietro pointed at Todd.

"I AM NOT!" Todd defended his honor.

"You both are crazy," Evil Fred said.

"THIS COMING FROM A EVIL TWIN?" Pietro snapped.

"I AM THE GOOD TWIN! DUKES IS THE EVIL ONE!" Evil Fred shouted.

"THEN WHY DOES THE AUTHOR REFER TO YOU ARE EVIL FRED?" Todd shouted.

"BECAUSE HE IS BIASED TO THE BROTHERHOOD! THIS FAN FIC IS ABOUT YOU GUYS! AND FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE I AM EVIL!" Evil Fred shouted.

"BEHAVE!" A loud voice boomed, shaking the entire building slightly.

"YES SIR!" Various characters shouted.

"I AM GOOD!" Evil Fred shouted.

"EVIL!" Todd shouted.

"GOOD!" Evil Fred shout

"EV-" Pietro tried to add in.

"STOP!" Sir Lancelot the sub shouted, "THIS CLASS IS DESPICABLE! HAVE YOU NO HONOUR! YOU SHOULD SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN!"

"Why do you use the u in honor?" Todd asked.

"I am from England," Sir Lancelot shrugged, "Name's Sir Lancelot,"

"I thought Sir Lancelot was from France?" Elizabeth said.

"Fine, I learned English in England." Sir Lancelot sighed.

"Oh right, so how do men settle things?" Todd asked.

"With swords," Lancelot said.

"Oh great, this country is crazy. Even the crazy Europeans come here to fit in," Elizabeth groaned.

"DIE FATTY!" Todd grabbed Sir Lancelot's sword and lunged at Evil Fred with a shout. The sword broke on Evil Fred's skin, and Todd bounced back.

"MY SWORD!" Sir Lancelot screamed.

--------------------

**First Period, Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams. Subbed by: Sir Kay**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee**

"Why is our sub wearing armor?" Amara asked St.John.

"Because he is afraid of the water," St.John said.

"That made no sense," Good Fred pointed out.

"So?" St.John asked.

"It makes no sense. If he was afraid of the water he would be wearing floaties. Since he is in armor he must be afraid of the scissors." Good Fred said.

"Oh right. That does make sense," St.John agreed, "Evil scissors must die. DOWN WITH THE SCISSORS! VIVA LA KNIVES!"

"VIVA LA KNIVES!" Good Fred agreed.

"I prefer swords, much more useful," Amara said.

"She has a point," St.John said.

"Yeah," Good Fred agreed, "VIVA LA SWORDS!"

"God help me," Jubilee moaned, "I live with two of these people,"

"This is a weird class." Sir Kay muttered, "I should have stayed in Avalon."

--------------------

**First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter. Subbed by: Sir Percival**

**with Wanda, Tabitha, Rouge, Mysty, and Rahne**

"Greetings my ladies ... Are there no lords in this class?" Sir Percival asked seeing that the class consisted of only girls.

"No," Tabitha said gloomily, "It's boring without Kurt,"

"THAT'S MY BROTHER! AND HE'S DATING AMANDA!" Rogue shouted at Tabitha.

"I like the hunt," Tabitha shrugged.

"Lord grant me strength, and the wisdom to stay in Avalon next time," Sir Percival muttered a quick prayer.

"So what are we learning today?" Rahne asked.

"Well, I was dead long before I even heard of America let alone the US so just .. uh ... read." Sir Percival said.

"Dead?" Wanda asked.

"Did I say that out loud?" Sir Percival was shocked that he had betrayed Arthur's trust and admitted to being a reincarnation of the great knight.

"Yes," Wanda said.

"I meant, I am from a foreign country and don't know anything." Sir Percival said.

"Where are the subs from last time?" Mysty asked.

"Oh, something about murder charges and the Professor Black or something dieing in a mansion." Sir Percival shrugged.

"Did you just hear someone yell 'Viva la knifes?'" Wanda asked trying to listen.

"No I didn't hear anything," Rogue said.

The rest of the school day went surprisingly calm, for a group of mutants being taught in a school that hates mutants. With teachers based off of medieval knights of the round table.

--------------------

**Mall Food Court**

"We really need a more stable car situation," Wanda said thinking of their borrowed car which was probably getting towed as they ate.

"Who cares, my beautiful jeep was destroyed," Lance moaned remembering his jeep.

"Get over it," Wanda groaned, "How about we steal one of X-geeks' cars?"

"Cause they will kick our butts," Pietro said, "Our newest member isn't that useful in a fight,"

"Yea- HEY!" Arcade said.

"What, you have no super powers, and our enemies do," Pietro pointed out.

"Batman doesn't have powers either," Arcade pointed out.

"He's rich, you aren't. Well not anymore," Pietro said.

"True," Arcade sighed.

"Soon my precious, soon," Kelly laughed watching the group from behind a potted plant. He was petting a half burnt copy of his book. Many people were dragging their kids away from him.

"Kids, never do drugs," One mom said to her accidents.

"But mom you do drugs," A little girl around seven years old said.

"I have decided to quite." The mom said staring at Kelly.

"Hehe, soon they shall know never to mess with Kelly." Kelly muttered, "Those freaks of nature will know that I AM INVINCIBLE!"

"Is that Kelly?" Wanda asked seeing the raving mad man.

"Yes, I think we went too far yesterday," Pietro said.

"Ya think?" Arcade asked.

"No he doesn't think," Good Fred said, "This is Pietro remember, if he thought about his actions he wouldn't have made Kelly go crazy in one day, he would have drawn it out."

"HEY!" Pietro shouted.

"To be fair, I helped." Wanda said.

"You and Pietro worked together?" Lance asked, his heart skipping a beat.

"Yeah, it was a twin bonding thing, torture the bigot," Wanda shrugged.

Lance thought about pointing out the craziness of bonding over torture. But decided against that.

"HAHA! Kelly ran out from his not so hidden hiding spot and sprayed the brotherhood with silly string.

"That was pathetic," Pietro muttered, for once not having moved fast enough to dodge it.

"Yet, still embarrassing," Lance sighed as innocent bystanders laughed.

"Should we get revenge?" Arcade asked.

"Of course," Pietro laughed, his brain moving at super speed trying to figure out a plan, "Man this planning stuff is hard."

"Let's go steal his car and sell it for parts," Arcade suggested.

"Doesn't have enough embarrassment," Lance said, "Maybe ... uh ..." Lance felt his pockets, noticing his useless keys, "Keying his car?"

"To plain ..." Wanda looked at around the mall seeing an adult store, "Fill the entire thing with condoms and lube?"

"Gross," Good Fred muttered as Lance, Pietro, and Arcade agreed.

"My sweety always has good ideas," Todd said. He doesn't count as agreeing, since he always agrees with Wanda.

"So who is 18 years old?" Pietro asked, "That place is bad about carding people."

"How would -" Lance began, "Never mind, I have my fake id. Not a big difference I am seventeen."

"Okay, go steal some things," Wanda shoved Lance towards the store.

"Have you ever considered the ramifications of Wanda shoving a guy towards an adult store?" Arcade asked Todd.

"WHAT?" Todd screamed.

--------------------

**Adult Store**

"So wrong," Lance groaned turning away from a mannequin.

"Hey cutie can I help you," A very skimpily clad girl said in a very deep voice.

"Uh ... just buying some items," Lance said.

"Yeah, that's a lucky girl that pushed you inside," The person said, "Has all those guys with her."

"Uh ... " Lance gulped, "I just needs some condoms and lube,"

"How much?" The employee asked, "Let's see, there are five of you guys ..." The employee started trying to figure out how much Lance needed.

"Never again," Lance mumbled to himself as he grabbed several shelf full.

"She really is lucky," The employee sighed ringing up the items.

'Wait wasn't I suppose to steal this stuff?' Lance thought, 'Oh well still got some of our neighbor's money. Good thing that strange server likes flirting with Pietro or we would have had to pay.'

"Your total is $55, I gave you a discount cutie." The employee said, "Here is my phone number, me and my girlfriend will be waiting, bring your friends."

Lance paled, paid, and then said "Goodbye."

"SAVE SOME OF THAT FOR ME!" The employee yelled as Lance left.

--------------------

**Food Court**

"NEVER AGAIN!" Lance screamed as he handed the bulging bags the Good Fred.

"Why?" Wanda asked.

"THAT GUY - er girl - er uh - EMPLOYEE THINKS YOU ARE ..." Lance trailed off as the crowd stared at the group.

"What are you talking about Lance?" Wanda asked, to which Lance just muttered incoherently, "You really are a rock head."

"Let's just get this over with," Lance turned to leave, "By the way Pietro they don't card you.

"WANDA PLEASE NEVER SHOVE ANOTHER GUY BUT ME INTO A ADULT STORE!" Todd cried.

"I-i-i ..." Wanda stuttered trying to absorb how that sounded, "TOAD!" Wanda screamed and hexed the poor frog person.

"Come one let's do this, HAHA REVENGE IS SWEET!" Pietro laughed, grabbed the bags, and sped out at super speed.

"Not as sweet as my sugar plum," Todd moaned.

"Ugg," Wanda groaned, not bothering to hex Todd again.

"Okay, I'm done," Pietro reappeared.

"How did you know which car was his?" Lance asked.

"Uh - oops," Pietro said, "He drives a red convertable right?"

--------------------

**Parking lot**

"MY CAR!" Scott screamed, "NOOOOOO!"

"We could use this," Jean muttered.

"NOOOOOOO..." Scott screamed on.

--------------------

**Food Court.**

"That's strange I keep hearing things. At school I heard someone shouting 'Viva la knifes' now it is 'No.'" Wanda muttered, "Strange thing is the voices seem familar."

"So you are hearing voices?" Arcade asked.

"ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING NERD?" Wanda shouted.

"No, nothing at all," Arcade whimmpered.

"Good," Wanda hissed, "Now I hear someone yelling 'You will die Brotherhood,'"

"You're just being paranoid," Pietro said, "Who do I know that drives a red convertible with a white stripe on it?"

"Scott," Lance said.

"Oh -" Pietro blinked, "Well that's okay then."

"That voice sounds like Scott?" Wanda said not paying attention to the guys.

"This is a strange place," Elizabeth muttered seeing the silly string covered Brotherhood.

"Yeah," Mysty muttered, "I wish I hadn't moved back."

"Really you use to live here?" Elizabeth asked.

"Uhh ... sorta," Mysty muttered.

"Yeah, I once sorta lived in Japan, real strange with all those ninjas and body switchings," Elizabeth agreed.

"You are crazy," Mysty said.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"MUHAHA!" Kelly laughed as he put the finishing touches on his toilet paper master peice. It was basically a copy of what the Brotherhood has done in his yard many times in the past.

"Is that a bus?" Kelly asked seeing the stolen bus still in the driveway. Ignoring the bus Kelly left.

"So that was a bust, we got Scooter instead of Kelly," Lance grumbled as they parked their neighbor's car.

"Well it was funny, and I found out my hearing is better than all of your's," Wanda said.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT SCARY PERSON WAS SAYING!" Lance shouted and flinched, luckily they had already parked.

"What happened to our house," Good Fred pointed to their TP'd house.

"We got TP'd," Lance shrugged not caring.

"Oh, should we punish the person who did it?" Good Fred asked.

"IT WAS KELLY! I SHALL TP HIS HOUSE!" Pietro ran off to enact revenge.

"Didn't Kelly move recently?" Lance asked.

"Yeah so?" Arcade asked.

"We never found his new address," Lance pointed out.

"How could you know his phone number, and not his address?" Arcade asked.

Pietro sped up and said, "Done,"

"Did you do it at 666 Mainstreet?" Lance asked.

"Yup, Kelly's house," Pietro said proudly.

"Kelly moved," Lance said.

"Oh ... Who cares?" Pietro asked.

"No one," Lance shrugged.

"Pietro clean this up," Wanda waved at their house.

"Why me?" Pietro whinned.

"'Cause you can do it in a few seconds," Wanda said, "Now move."

"No," Pietro said stubborning.

"No?" Wanda asked glowing blue.

"Eep," Pietro obeyed Wanda's orders out of fear.

"I'm going to watch TV," Good Fred said and went into their newly 'cleaned' house.

"Aren't we going to get revenge on Kelly?" Arcade asked as the group followed Good Fred.

"No," Lance said.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House.**

"... In other news the principal of Bayville High was recently fired for embazzlement, and is a suspect in the dissappearance of a janitor." Trish said on the TV, "... In other other news Edward Kelly's ratings have dropped to below five percent."

"See Arcade this is why we aren't getting revenge," Lance pointed at the screen, "He is doing it himself."

"Point taken, wonder what we will do without our principal?" Arcade said.

"VIVA LA PARTAH!" Todd laughed grabbing Wanda and spinning her around in a bad dance.

"TOAD! DIE!" Wanda pulled out of the spin and hexed the happy frog. Or at least she attempted to, she was to dizzy from the spin to hit anything but her brother.

"Owww ..." Pietro groaned.

--------------------

**Kelly's house.**

"My ratings," Kelly moaned, "I know the mutants are responsible for this somehow."

"Or it could be because no one likes a crazy politican," Dorathy muttered filling out applications for a new job.

"Maybe I should change careers, become a principal again, that sounds good? As long as I don't get assigned to a school with a bunch of mutants I will be fine." Kelly rambled as he fixed himself a class of beer.

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"NO MORE PRINCIPAL!" The Brotherhood shouted using that as an excuse for a party. They were the only people partying.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"Someone has been watching Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest," Jamie #3 muttered as he sat on a thrown, with eyes painted on his cheeks. He also had a necklace of toes around his neck, and the natives were building a fire, "To bad I didn't have anyone alive to be put into bone cages and create a distraction."

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_Love bites. Hard. And then it twists the dagger in your chest._

_PLEASE review._


	19. Sept 12, Principal Kelly

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**September 12 - Tuesday - Principal Kelly**

--------------------

**Brotherhood House**

"EVERYONE UP!" Wanda shouted, for once being awake before the alarm clocks.

"Why?" Pietro moaned moving slowly for once.

"Our principal got fired I want to see what is going on," Wanda said.

"How do we know we even have school today?" Lance asked meeting the twins in the hallway.

"The Principal does nothing, they won't stop school just for him," Wanda said.

"If he does nothing then why would today be any different?" Lance asked.

"Shut up and eat, so you can drive me." Wanda ordered.

"I have no car," Lance said.

"I asked your ditsy girlfriend to steal Jean's SUV and bring it over before school," Wanda said to Lance.

"WHAT? YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL!" Pietro screamed.

"Kitty isn't ditsy," Lance muttered.

"Even though I like her, you have to admit she is a bit of a ditz," Arcade joined the group in the hallway outside the bathroom.

"Sorry the toilet's clogged," Good Fred exited the bathroom in a cloud of stench that put Todd to shame.

"MY NOSE!" Pietro screamed.

"MY MAKEUP CASE IS MELTING!" Wanda stared at her makeup case which was melting on the sink counter.

'BLACH!' Lance threw up.

"Hey who spilled a perfume bottle in the hall?" Todd hoped over to the group.

"AH!" Pietro began to run in circles, which made it worse by sucking the air out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

"STOP! MY EYES! BURNING BAD!" Arcade cried.

--------------------

**Outside the Brotherhood House**

"Ugg, this place smells worse than last time," Kitty said wrinkling her nose in disgust, when the wind generated by Pietro reached her, carrying the smell of Good Fred in the morning.

"Why did I come with you?" Tabitha said softly as her hands tightly gripped the 'Oh crap' bar.

"What was that, you weren't talking loud enough," Kitty said, slightly deaf from all the horns and sirens on the way over.

"Must, get out before ..." Tabitha said.

"HEY Kitty," Lance ran out and up to the car door.

"To late, we are about to leave," Tabitha said softly crying.

"Yo Freddy, I would leave all my stuff to you, but you're going to die with me," Todd said climbing into the car.

"Must get out," Tabitha said.

"Lance you stink what happened?" Kitty sniffed the air.

"Freddy, month old burritos as a midnight snack ..." Lance said.

"Eew," Kitty wrinkled her nose in disgust.

--------------------

**School Parking Lot**

"It wasn't that bad was it?" Kitty asked the terrified mutants, not noticing the sirens in the background.

"No sweety, I'm going to go lie in a hole," Lance said, falling out the door when he tried to leave the car.

"Is this heaven?" Todd asked.

"No, my sister is here," Pietro said, receiving a hex.

"Wanda? This is heaven," Todd sighed, receiving a hex.

"Lance stop fooling around, get up," Kitty ordered.

"Hold on, I still see the light," Lance groaned.

"Next time, I ride with Badger, he is safer ..." Tabitha said, "... did I just say Badger was safe?"

"Safety is relative," Arcade said, getting out slowly, and with more dignity than Lance.

"I'm hungry," Good Fred said, "Do we have any more burritos?"

"NOOO!" Every Brotherhood member screamed.

"Ah man, I like how those had fermented," Good Fred complained, "Now I have to store more for a while,"

"Eew," Kitty wrinkled her nose in disgust again.

--------------------

**First Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade, and Piotr**

"Good 'orninudents," Kelly spoke over the intercom, his speech slightly slurred, "Tofay, -aye, -day, Threeday, Twooty, Today. Today is my first ray, day back in this piss hole of hell."

"He's drunk," Arcade muttered.

"Oh yeah," Piotr agreed.

"I voold like toooo-oo say thaht I am exter exter extremely proud of the Foosball team." Kelly spoke, "Huh? Soccer nof Foosball?"

"This is Dorothy, I will be completing the announcements," Dorothy said into the intercom.

"I AM DRUNK! I MEAN NOT!" Kelly yelled in the background.

"As Kelly tried to say we are proud of the Soccer team," Dorothy began listing groups they were proud of, "Football team, Chess team, The drama club, teacher's union, local illegal street racing club, cock fighting league, Poker club, and finally the marching band - despite the incident that we can not mention due to possible legal action (_A/N: 1_) - What happened there anyway? All I know is that the band director is popping pain killers. Did someone get arrested or - HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" There were sounds of a quick struggle over the mic.

"Hello this is the school attorney, disregard anything either of those two just said. The school can neither confirm nor deny their pride in various clubs that will not be named due to possible trademark issues. For anyone wishing to see a full list of these announcements they must have their lawyers sign a non-disclosure contract with the School Board's Public Communications Office." A lawyer said over the mic, "That is all."

"That was messed up," Arcade stared at the roof where the voice, (that the student by affectionately called God,) hid.

"Oh yeah." Piotr stared at the roof.

--------------------

**First Period, Ethics Class, Mr Lowe**

**with Todd, Pietro, Evil Fred, Elizabeth, and Duncan**

"Good 'orninudents," Kelly spoke over the intercom, his speech slightly slurred, "Tofay, -aye, -day, Threeday, Twooty, Today. Today is my first ray, day back in this piss hole of hell."

"Did he get drunk last night?" Todd asked his fellow class mates.

"He's still drunk," Pietro laughed, "I knew that gift of beer and vodka was a good idea."

"I voold like toooo-oo say thaht I am exter exter extremely proud of the Foosball team." Kelly spoke, "Huh? Soccer nof Foosball?"

"Does he mean football?" Elizabeth asked.

"Shut up Mystique, we know you aren't really British," Todd said.

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS MYSTIQUE PERSON! JUST BECAUSE I AM A MUTANT WITH PURPLE HAIR DOES NOT MAKE ME THAT FREAKY GOTH'S MOM! AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE BIRTH TO THAT GERMAN KID!" Elizabeth yelled.

"This is Dorothy, I will be completing the announcements," Dorothy said into the intercom.

"Hey Dory's back," Duncan sighed, "She's so beautiful,"

"That is wrong, yo." Todd said.

"I AM DRUNK! I MEAN NOT!" Kelly yelled in the background.

"Seems Kelly can't hold his alcohol," Evil Fred laughed, "I can,"

"Earls do we need to discuss the moral ramifications of breaking the law via under-aged drinking?" Mr. Lowe asked.

"Who cares?" Evil Fred asked, "Everyone drinks except those who have no life and spend their time on the Internet." Mr. Lowe closed the browser on his computer.

"As Kelly tried to say we are proud of the Soccer team," Dorothy began listing groups they were proud of, "Football team, Chess team, The drama club, teacher's union, local illegal street racing club, cock fighting league, Poker club, and finally the marching band - despite the incident that we can not mention due to possible legal action (_A/N: 1_) - What happened there anyway? All I know is that the band director is popping pain killers. Did someone get arrested or - HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" There were sounds of a quick struggle over the mic.

"I knew I shouldn't have used the Tuba mouth piece," Evil Fred muttered.

"Oh right I heard about that, wasn't there a water bottle involved?" Elizabeth asked.

"No that was a different thing, I am talking about the reason he is popping pills. You're thinking about the real reason Principal B was fired," Evil Fred said.

"Hello this is the school attorney, disregard anything either of those two just said. The school can neither confirm nor deny their pride in various clubs that will not be named due to possible trademark issues. For anyone wishing to see a full list of these announcements they must have their lawyers sign a non-disclosure contract with the School Board's Public Communications Office." A lawyer said over the mic, "That is all."

"I hate lawyers. they are corrupt greedy bastards no one can understand," Mr. Lowe muttered.

--------------------

**First Period, Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee**

"Good 'orninudents," Kelly spoke over the intercom, his speech slightly slurred, "Tofay, -aye, -day, Threeday, Twooty, Today. Today is my first ray, day back in this piss hole of hell."

"How did he get drunk off American beer?" St.John asked.

"Well first you have to purify it some so that it has more alcohol..." Jubilee began, "Uh I mean ... uh ask Bobby,"

"Oh right he makes the moonshine for the Canadian," St.John laughed.

"I voold like toooo-oo say thaht I am exter exter extremely proud of the Foosball team." Kelly spoke, "Huh? Soccer nof Foosball?"

"I hate the football team," Good Fred muttered.

"It's the soccer team," Amara said.

"Oh Jean's on that I hate her," Good Fred said.

"She graduated, and everyone knows you like her," Amara sighed.

"This is Dorothy, I will be completing the announcements," Dorothy said into the intercom.

"I like Dorothy, she's nice," Good Fred sighed.

"Freaky," Jubilee muttered, "All the mutant boys are freaks,"

"I AM DRUNK! I MEAN NOT!" Kelly yelled in the background.

"As Kelly tried to say we are proud of the Soccer team," Dorothy began listing groups they were proud of, "Football team, Chess team, The drama club, teacher's union, local illegal street racing club, cock fighting league, Poker club, and finally the marching band - despite the incident that we can not mention due to possible legal action (_A/N: 1_) - What happened there anyway? All I know is that the band director is popping pain killers. Did someone get arrested or - HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" There were sounds of a quick struggle over the mic.

"Note to self: No more fireworks in metal instruments," Jubilee muttered.

"Hello this is the school attorney, disregard anything either of those two just said. The school can neither confirm nor deny their pride in various clubs that will not be named due to possible trademark issues. For anyone wishing to see a full list of these announcements they must have their lawyers sign a non-disclosure contract with the School Board's Public Communications Office." A lawyer said over the mic, "That is all."

"BURN THE LAWYERS! THEY WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! VIVA LA NO-LAWYERS-AH!" St.John screamed.

"Dude they already rule the world," Good Fred said.

"Oh right, in that case we must form resistance cells and plot the liberation of our beautiful green and blue - mostly blue - planet before the lawyers can hand us over to the aliens." St.John said.

"You had me until the aliens," Amara said, "The are no such things as aliens," A UFO flew in the sky buzzing the school. (_A/N: 2_)

--------------------

**First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

**with Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, Mysty, and Rahne**

"Good 'orninudents," Kelly spoke over the intercom, his speech slightly slurred, "Tofay, -aye, -day, Threeday, Twooty, Today. Today is my first ray, day back in this piss hole of hell."

"Shouldn't he be happy he found a job after his political career tanked?" Tabitha asked, "Why'd he get drunk?"

"Might have something to do with the last few exploding Drink Machines before he left." Rogue muttered.

"I voold like toooo-oo say thaht I am exter exter extremely proud of the Foosball team." Kelly said, "Huh? Soccer nof Foosball?"

"This is Dorothy, I will be completing the announcements," Dorothy grumbled into the intercom.

"I AM DRUNK! I MEAN NOT!" Kelly screamed in the background.

"I guess Pietro was right about the hair being to much for his sanity," Wanda said.

"As Kelly tried to say we are proud of the Soccer team," Dorothy began listing groups they were proud of, "Football team, Chess team, The drama club, teacher's union, local illegal street racing club, cock fighting league, Poker club, and finally the marching band - despite the incident that we can not mention due to possible legal action (_A/N: 1_) - What happened there anyway? All I know is that the band director is popping pain killers. Did someone get arrested or - HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" There were sounds of a quick struggle over the mic.

"Not my fault," Rahne said stubbornly.

"'coarse not, Xavier wiped everyone's minds," Tabitha laughed.

"Not hard considering all the witnesses were half drunk at the time." Rogue muttered.

"Why were you three at the band trip?" Wanda asked.

"The professor said not to mention it to anyone inside or outside the institute," Rogue muttered, "To bad he didn't wipe my mind,"

"Hello this is the school attorney, disregard anything either of those two just said. The school can neither confirm nor deny their pride in various clubs that will not be named due to possible trademark issues. For anyone wishing to see a full list of these announcements they must have their lawyers sign a non-disclosure contract with the School Board's Public Communications Office." A lawyer said over the mic, "That is all."

"They don't know the truth and they still have a lawyer," Rogue muttered, "HA! If only they knew,"

"What happened to her?" Wanda asked.

"Oh you know, Scott getting drunk, Bobby flying the X-jet, weird clowns ..." Tabitha trailed off. (_A/N: 3_)

--------------------

**First Period, AP Statistics, Mr. Halif**

**with Lance, Kitty, and Kurt**

"Good 'orninudents," Kelly spoke over the intercom, his speech slightly slurred, "Tofay, -aye, -day, Threeday, Twooty, Today. Today is my first ray, day back in this piss hole of hell."

"And we didn't do anything yesterday," Lance laughed.

"So are we like still on for Friday?" Kitty asked.

"Yup," Lance smiled.

"I voold like toooo-oo say thaht I am exter exter extremely proud of the Foosball team." Kelly spoke, "Huh? Soccer nof Foosball?"

"I like Foosball," Kurt said.

"You only like it cause your tail like gives you like an unfair advantage," Kitty muttered.

"She lost a bet in a Foosball match," Kurt laughed.

"Really? What was the bet?" Lance asked.

"You'll find out Friday," Kurt laughed and Kitty blushed.

"I AM DRUNK! I MEAN NOT!" Kelly yelled in the background.

"As Kelly tried to say we are proud of the Soccer team," Dorothy began listing groups they were proud of, "Football team, Chess team, The drama club, teacher's union, local illegal street racing club, cock fighting league, Poker club, and finally the marching band - despite the incident that we can not mention due to possible legal action (_A/N: 1_) - What happened there anyway? All I know is that the band director is popping pain killers. Did someone get arrested or - HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" There were sounds of a quick struggle over the mic.

"Hello this is the school attorney, disregard anything either of those two just said. The school can neither confirm nor deny their pride in various clubs that will not be named due to possible trademark issues. For anyone wishing to see a full list of these announcements they must have their lawyers sign a non-disclosure contract with the School Board's Public Communications Office." A lawyer said over the mic, "That is all."

"That was odd," Mr. Halif said.

--------------------

**Second Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade**

"Oh look the government accidentally shot down an alien space craft." Arcade said reading a classified file.

--------------------

**Second Period, Home Ec. Class, Mrs. Cline**

**with Todd, and Wanda**

"I AM BACK! VIVA LA REVENGE!" Mrs. Cline laughed crazily.

"Where did all the sane teachers go?" Todd asked no one in particular.

"This is boring you would think that the teachers would want to punish Kelly for leaving them with that Mr. B guy." Wanda said to herself, "I would want revenge, they should kill Kelly."

--------------------

**Second Period, Physics, Mr. Goodtran**

**with Fred, Amara, St.John, Elizabeth, and Jubilee**

"What goes up must come day, like Principal B's bank account, HAHA TAKE THAT YOU THIEVING SON OF A-" Mr. Goodtran laughed.

"Uh sir, shouldn't you be teaching Physics, whatever that is?" Jubilee asked.

"You don't know what Physics is?" Mr. Goodtran asked.

"No, we've never had a real class this year," Jubilee explained.

"Who needs Physics?" Good Fred laughed.

"He has a point," Mr. Goodtran told Jubilee.

"Burn my little child," St.John sang to a flame that he was nursing into a full blown fire (without his powers.)

"SCARY FOREIGN KID! DON'T LITE THE DESK ON FIRE!" Mr. Goodtran tried to put the fire out, but St.John started to use his powers to give the defenseless fire a fighting chance of survival in the world that favors people over fire.

"THIS IS UNETHICAL TREATMENT OF FIRE!" St.John screamed, "SAVE THE FIRE!"

"Am I dating this guy?" Amara asked herself.

"Yes," Jubilee said, despite the fact that it was rhetorical.

"I would say crazy Americans, but he is Australian." Elizabeth muttered.

"When's lunch?" Good Fred asked the stunned students who were watching the fight over the fire's life.

--------------------

**Second Period, AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck**

**with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty**

"Hey Kitty, what bet did you lose?" Lance asked her when he sat down.

"Nothing, forget it," Kitty blushed a deep red that put the Scarlet Witch to shame.

"HAHA I remember that bet," Piotr laughed, "Never challenge a person with an extra limb, and usable feet to a game of Foosball,"

"I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BETTED AGAINST ME!" Kitty snapped at Piotr, "I needed the money, and Jamie's crush on you made it easy money,"

"YOU TOOK MONEY FROM A KID?"

"He took my money the day before," Piotr muttered sheepishly.

"THAT WAS ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS! YOU BETTED A HUNDRED THIS TIME!"

"It was interest," Piotr muttered fearing that Kitty would bend his arms again.

"Come Kitty, what was the bet?" Lance asked.

"Nothing." Kitty said in a voice that said 'If-you-keep-asking-about-it-you-will-lose-your-manhood.'

--------------------

**Second Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

**with Pietro, Bobby, Kurt, Ray, Mysty, and Roberto**

"HA!" Bobby laughed as Kurt told him what Kitty had to do because she lost the bet.

"I still say that, that was mean," Ray said.

"You just like Kitty," Kurt laughed.

"So do you, that is why you humiliated her," Ray pointed out.

"No I have moved on, I like Amanda now," Kurt said.

"This is a thrilling discussion, what was the bet?" Pietro asked.

"You'll see Friday if you are going to Duncan's party," Roberto laughed at the thought of the bet.

"I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!" Pietro shouted, "I LIVE IN THE FAST LANE!"

"Oh poor poor you," Mysty sneered, "So, what was the bet?"

"Sorry we promised to not tell anyone, and just let them see, it will be funnier that way," Bobby snickered.

"YOU SIX DETENTION!" Coach Carpenter shouted after trying unsuccessfully to teach.

--------------------

**Third Period, Computer Class and Lunch**

**with Arcade**

"Uh kid, the FBI asked me to explain why our computers are hacking their's," A school IT worker told Arcade.

"Oops, uh ..." Arcade blinked.

"I'll lie to them but I have to give you a detention," The IT worker left to talk to funny looking men in black suits.

"Oops, I thought I had hidden my steps," Arcade sighed.

--------------------

**First Lunch**

**with Todd, Mysty, and Duncan**

"Hey cutie want to eat with me?" Duncan asked Mysty.

"You are nineteen I am seventeen, does the term jail bait mean anything to you?" Mysty said.

"I won't tell if you don't," Duncan smiled.

"FREAK!" Mysty grabbed Duncan and tossed him over her shoulder.

"I love feisty women," Todd told Mysty, only to join Duncan.

"Next time Magneto can be the teenager, he can grow some balls and talk to his daughter." Mysty muttered too softly for anyone to hear.

--------------------

**Third Period, English II, Mrs. Mandy**

**with Todd, and Mysty**

"Yo, wazzup teach," Todd hopped into class.

"What?" Mrs. Mandy asked.

"Yo . wazz . up . teach." Todd said slowly.

"Speak English," The teacher ordered.

"Yo, I am," Todd protested.

"Don't say 'yo,'" The teacher ordered.

"Yo, wazz wrong with 'yo,' yo?" Todd asked.

"AHHH STOP SAYING YO OR I'LL GIVE YOU DETENTION!" The teacher screamed.

"Why, yo?" Todd asked.

"THAT'S IT DETENTION!" The teacher grabbed a pink piece of paper and began to scribble on it.

"Yeah, punish that frog ..." Mysty laughed, "Wait I have detention, shit."

--------------------

**Third Period, Algebra I, Mr. Lackey PART I**

**with Fred**

"Mr. Dukes what is 'x?'" Mr. Lackey asked.

"X?" Good Fred scratched his head, "You mean the X-Losers, they are losers."

"What?"

"Losers, geeks, dweebs, stuck up snobs, $$, pure evil, sellouts, &." Good Fred started listing terms.

"LANGUAGE!" Mr. Lackey screamed.

"Why? I am describing them," Good Fred said.

"Detention, I am talking about the math problem," Mr. Lackey said as the bell for lunch rang.

--------------------

**Third Period, Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro PART I**

**with Wanda, and Tabitha**

"-and that is why the world is round," Mrs. Longtro finished.

"Uh Mrs. this is Math, not Science." Wanda pointed out.

"Oh right, sorry wrong lesson plan. Where was I? Ah yes," Mrs. Longtro looked through her books, "The blah blah blah..."

"I should have let her talk about science, it was more interesting," Wanda muttered.

"SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION! OR YOU'LL GET DETENTION!" Mrs. Longtro screamed.

"Whoa bad rhyme," Tabitha and Wanda laughed at the same time.

"You just rhymed 'rhyme' and 'time.'" Mrs. Longtro pointed out.

"No that was J-rod, we only said rhyme, he wrote time." Tabitha said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mrs. Longtro asked.

"I don't know, I need out." Tabitha said.

"What the hell?"

"I don't feel well," Wanda mocked complained.

"STOP IT!"

"I must confess, I stole a mitt. It gave me a lot of bliss." Tabitha said.

"STOP RHYMING!"

"I hate Toad he is full of slime," Wanda said.

"YOU AREN'T EVEN MAKING SENSE WITH YOUR RHYMES! YOU'RE REALLY FAKING IT!"

"And you're full of shit," Tabitha laughed.

"BOTH OF YOU DETENTION!" Mrs. Longtro screamed.

"It was worth it for the attention," Wanda laughed.

"I protest this detention, I should start a petition," Tabitha laughed.

"STOP IT RIGHT THIS SECOND!"

"Now our fun is ruined." Wanda said.

"AHHHHH!"

"What rhymes with AHHHHH?" Tabitha asked.

"Oy my head." The teacher moaned.

"Can we still drag this ahead?" Wanda asked.

"You used the same word as her. It is now dead," Tabitha said.

"Head and ahead are not the same. They are merely in bed," Wanda said.

"Close enough to be a sign we must heed." Tabitha finished with the bell, "I must go eat my meal."

"Thank God they are gone," Mrs. Longtro sighed once they left, "I wish there were none-" She paused, "Shit I need to be hit."

--------------------

**Third Period, English III, Coach Coon PART I**

**with St.John, Rogue, Kurt, Ray, Amanda, Elizabeth, and Amara**

"Am I being punished for some reason by have another class with you?" Elizabeth asked St.John.

"You're just lucky, like my lovely eagle," St.John threw an arm around Amara who giggled.

"What do I teach?" Coach Coon asked looking at the board, the Subs had completely messed the room up, "Oh right English, wow I have four foreign kids in English III, odd, most take that easy English class instead."

"ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING! I AM FROM ENGLAND! I SPEAK ENGLISH! WOW FIGURE THAT!" Elizabeth yelled.

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME YOU PURPLE HAIRED FREAK!"

"I AM NOT A FREAK!"

"YOU HAVE PURPLE HAIR! ONLY FREAKS DYE THEIR HAIR AN UNNATURAL COLOR!"

"I DIDN'T DYE IT! THE OWNER OF THIS BODY DID!"

"Huh?" St.John asked, "That doesn't make any sense, unless she is a telepath who died and took over the body of some ninja,"

"Please that could never happen," Amara laughed, "Don't be a idiot,"

"Yeah ... could never happen," Elizabeth mumbled, "I M NOT A FREAK!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"MAYBE!" St.John added in only to get glared at, "Sorry,"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO I AM NOT A FREAK! PURPLE DOES NOT A FREAK MAKE!"

"HELLO? WHAT NORMAL PERSON HAS DYED HAIR?"

"THAT JEAN CHICK I'VE SEEN AROUND TOWN!" Elizabeth shouted.

"That natural," Amara said.

"That can't be," Elizabeth said.

"I once asked her for some of her dye, she said it was natural," Amara said.

"Really?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yup,"

"EITHER WAY SHE IS A FREAK! AND A MUTANT!" The teacher shouted.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MUTANTS?" Elizabeth asked.

"NOTHING! ONLY THE TELEPATHS!" The teacher shouted.

"I AM A TELEPATH!" Elizabeth shouted.

"Really? How do you explain your grades then?" The teacher asked.

"I have had a lot on my mind," Elizabeth muttered.

"Changing bodies does that to a girl, I should know," St.John said.

"How would you know what changing bodies or being a girl felt like?" Amara asked.

"Uh..." St.John blushed redder than Jean's hair, "Ask Piotr it was his fault that time, and before that it was Sabertooth's fault,"

"I think I changed my mind about knowing," Amara groaned.

"All of you detention." The teacher finally said after realizing that the lunch bell had just rang.

--------------------

**Second Lunch**

**with Good Fred, Evil Fred, Wanda, Tabitha, Elizabeth, Rogue, Amara, St.John, Kurt, Ray, and Amanda**

Amazingly Lunch passed without a hitch, mainly cause the humans were to scared to mess with the Brotherhood, Good Fred was to busy with Evil Fred to cause trouble, and Wanda doesn't fell like socializing with the others. Fighting is socializing.

--------------------

**Third Period, Algebra I, Mr. Lackey PART II**

**with Fred**

"I'm still hungry," Good Fred whinnied.

"YOU HAD HALF THE FOOD IN THE CAFETERIA!" A student yelled.

"Got a problem with that?" Good Fred picked the poor boy up.

"N-n-n-n-no," The boy stuttered.

"Good," Good Fred threw the boy down and sat at a desk.

"Blah blah ..." Good Fred tuned the teacher out thinking of food, until the bell rang and he could go attack a vending machine.

--------------------

**Third Period, Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro PARTII**

**with Wanda, and Tabitha**

"DO NOT RHYME THIS TIME! THIS CLASS IS MINE!" The teacher shouted when the two rhymers walked in.

"Mine doesn't rhyme with time, or rhyme." Tabitha said, "Close but not quite."

"It does if you don't enunciate from being half asleep like J-rod is most of the time," Wanda said, "He should start going to bed before midnight."

"I think he has mild insomnia," Tabitha said.

"QUIET! ALL OF Y'ALL!" A large voice boomed, "I don't have insomnia, I am a normal teenager, who gets distracted easily." (_A/N: 4_)

"Why do you say 'y'all' you don't sound southern?" Wanda asked.

"I was born in the south," The voice said.

"You learned to talk near Las Vegas," Wanda said.

"So, it was a small town full of hicks," The voice said, "Viva la Las Vegas baby,"

"Did you call me baby?" Wanda asked in that 'dangerous' voice.

"No," the voice said.

"LA VIE BOHEME! That's all the French I know." Tabitha laughed, "Something is bothering me, if 'the voice' is you, why don't you type 'I' instead?"

"The Voice likes third person," 'I' said.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" The teacher asked, who due to 'my' desire to get back at Wanda (for using that tone of voice with 'me') didn't hear 'me' talk, meaning Tabitha and Wanda looked like crazy fools.

--------------------

**Third Period, English III, Coach Coon PART II**

**with St.John, Rogue, Kurt, Ray, Amanda, Elizabeth, and Amara**

"Okay please turn in your poetry assignments," The teacher ordered.

"What assignments?" Rogue asked.

"The ones I had the subs assign," The teacher said.

"They never-" Rogue said.

"Oops, I forgot to tell the subs about that, okay just free style it," The teacher said dragging Rogue up in front of the class, "You start, just let your emotions flow from within. Describe people you know."

"You're a freak. My brother's a geek. His girlfriend's a witch. My mom's a bitch. I hate this class. I need some broken glass." Rogue said.

"Uh ... that was expressive, short to the point." The teacher was stunned.

"I'm not a witch," Amanda sniffled.

"MY TURN!" St.John ran up, "Fire, fire, never uses a lyre (_A/N: 5_)," St.John said, "Fire, fire, burns my eagle. Who has hot angles. Fire, fire, she has does some hot curves when she swerves from the BURNING AXES IN THE DR! She's my only one. Thank you I am done." St.John sat down.

"What did you just make a poem about?" The teacher asked.

"Amara my lovely burning eagle." St.John hugged Amara who giggled.

"Are English people the only sane people on this earth?" Elizabeth asked herself.

The rest of the class did similar bad poems that were less than half thought out.

--------------------

**Third Period, AP Biology, Mrs. Frena**

**with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty**

"Welcome back class," Mrs. Frena said with a blank face, "Today we will dissect Pigs."

"WHAT?" Kitty shouted.

"Pigs," Mrs. Frena said in a slightly creepy monotone voice.

"YOU MURDERER!" Kitty screamed.

"Pigs, aren't people, they can't be murdered, only slaughtered." The teacher said.

"Are you brain washed?" Kitty asked waving her hand in front of the teacher's face.

"No just really really glad that Principal B is gone." The teacher said.

"Okay, then I can yell at you. YOU MURDERING IGNORANT JERK!" Kitty shouted, "SAVE THE PIGS!"

"Detention," The teacher said not even glancing at Kitty.

"Hey, she is just protesting," Lance and Piotr defended their interest.

"Detention, no person can stop the rise of Big Business. The meat farms will take over," Mrs. Frena said.

"She's brain washed," Kitty muttered, "HEY! I HAVE DETENTION! NO FAIR!"

--------------------

**Third Period, Biology, Mr. Goodtran**

**with Pietro**

"Okay, this is what a heart looks like," Mr. Goodtran held up a card from his girlfriend.

"That is creepy, you get cards shaped like real hearts?" A student asked.

"Realistic hearts are so last century. your girlfriend has bad tastes," Pietro said.

"How'd you know it was from my girlfriend?" Mr. Goodtran asked.

"I went through your mail when you weren't looking," Pietro said.

"Oh, okay, anyway, this is the left ventricle. Or is that the right..." Mr. Goodtran studied the heart.

--------------------

**Third Lunch**

**with Lance, Pietro, Piotr, Kitty, Rahne, Jubilee, Bobby, Roberto, and Sam**

"Hey Kitty," Lance sat down at a table with Kitty, shocking several of the X-men.

"THE ONLY BROTHERHOOD MEMBER OTHER THAN ME HAS ABANDONED THE SACRED BROTHERHOOD TABLE!" Pietro screamed, "AND THE ACOLYTE ALSO!"

"What's with Pietro?" Sam asked Lance.

"No clue."

"Hey Jubs, wanna crash Duncan's party this Friday?" Bobby asked Jubilee ignoring the Brotherhood boy.

"Sure," Jubilee giggled.

"Hey Sam-" Rahne began.

"No," Sam said, "I have a date,"

"Really?" Rahne pouted.

"Hey, Rahne, I have no date," Roberto said suggestively.

"So?" Rahne asked obliviously, "Hey does Kurt have a-"

"Amanda," Sam said.

"Ray?" Rahne asked.

"Tabitha," Sam said.

"I'm free," Roberto said waving his arms.

"Who's free, that will go with a Mutant?" Rahne asked.

"Pietro, Toad, Arcade, and Freddy," Lance said.

"HELL NO!" Rahne howled, "Well maybe Arcade, those glasses are kinda cute,"

"I do not have a date," Piotr said.

"Want to go with me?" Rahne asked.

"Huh? Why?" Piotr asked.

"You just said you didn't have a date," Rahne said.

"I am waiting for the right girl," Piotr said.

"AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Rahne stood up and shouted. Most heads in the cafeteria turned to her.

"Uh ..." Piotr blinked.

"He's waiting for Lance to do something stupid again," Jubilee said, "He wants Kitty,"

"Oh right, forgot all about his crush," Rahne sighed, "That leaves no one but the Brotherhood, and Jamie,"

"ME!" Roberto shouted.

"And Rogue," Lance laughed.

"Hey Sam, I just figured it out, every girl but me, Mama Ororo, and Rogue are taken, who are you going with." Rahne said.

"That Elizabeth girl, she says she likes farm boys, what ever that means," Sam said.

"The one that looks like Risty?" Kitty asked.

"Yup," Sam nodded, "But Mystique would never be dumb enough to try that trick again so no worries."

"Uh ... right ..." Lance paled slightly.

"Are you sick?" Kitty asked Lance.

"No ... Uh, so what's your name, wolf-girl, who are you going with?" Lance changed the subject back to a safer area.

"Well this is a high school party, or actually a high school flunker's party, so there will be beer," Rahne muttered thinking to all the guys she knew, "That means I can't take Jamie. Imagine Jamie on sugar, and make it ten times worse. That is him on alcohol. Freddy is too fat to really dance well. Toad should be declared a public health hazard. Pietro is scary, Arcade probably can't dance. That leaves the Professor, Hank, and Logan."

"Unless you could somehow get another mutant guy in a few days," Lance said.

"Hey what about that Angel guy, he helped us with Apocalypse," Kitty said.

"PERFECT! He is rich, cute, probably can dance ..." Rahne laughed, "Who has his number?"

"Rogue," Kitty laughed, "She has a feather fetish."

"Urgh," Lance groaned as his half eaten meal threatened to strike back, "I never want to know what room mates talk about. I have enough trouble with my house mates."

--------------------

**Fourth Period, Computer Class**

**with Arcade, and Mysty**

"Hey Mysty want to go to Duncan's party with me this Friday," Arcade asked Mysty.

'Why did I promise myself to take the hundredth person to ask me? I should have gone with the last one. Sure she was a freak, and a girl...' Mysty groaned to herself, 'Geeks are kinda cute though,' Mysty finally stopped debating with herself, "Sure."

--------------------

**Fourth Period, English II, Coach Coon (_A/N: 6_)**

**with Todd, and Fred**

"... And that is why in a few months I will be leaving," Coach Coon.

"We really didn't need to know what your boyfriend and you do in your free time," A student said, slightly shocked, "And especially not in that amount of detail."

"I can never look at cheese the same way again," Good Fred groaned.

"Those poor frogs ..." Todd cried.

"Todd they were fake frogs," Coach Coon said.

"Oh right then," Todd stopped crying.

"That is one messed up way to get pregnant," A student said, "What was the cheese for?"

"Nothing, shut up and do the work sheet," The teacher said.

--------------------

**Fourth Period, English III, Mrs. Mandy**

**with Wanda**

"And that is why English is superior to any other language," Mrs. Mandy said.

"That made no sense," Wanda said, "By that logic Pig Latin is a good language."

"I majored in Pig Latin," The teacher said.

"But you teach English?" A student tried to comprehend that.

"You don't need a degree to teach, just a willingness to show up and pretend." the teacher shrugged.

--------------------

**Fourth Period, AP History, Mr. Freeman**

**with Lance, Piotr, Kitty, Elizabeth, and Rogue**

"I hate teaching, to bad the strike is over," Mr. Freeman complained, "You there," he pointed at Elizabeth, "I am trying a new teaching technique, you will teach the class about the colonization of America."

"Sure pick the foreign student, the one who will never need to know this as she will leave the country at the first possible moment." Elizabeth complained before reading from the book to the class.

--------------------

**Fourth Period, Home Ec. Class, Mrs. Cline**

**with Pietro**

"... Your pies should now be cooking," Mrs. Cline said.

"This is taking to long," Pietro complained before getting the bright idea to turn the oven all the way up. Fellow students copied him. Can any one tell me what happens when lots of gas gets poured into low quality ovens that aren't meant to burn gas that face. You get a build up of flammable gas that explodes. Effectively ending Home Ec. classes for that day.

--------------------

**Fourth Period, Biology, Mr. Goodtran**

**with St.John, Rahne, Tabitha, and Amara**

"BURN!" St.John laughed.

"Yes, burn the disgusting animal," Mr. Goodtran said, watching St.John burn the dead pig, "I hate those dead pigs with their beady little eyes..."

"Isn't that cute, the way he laughs?" Amara asked the two X-girls.

"No," Rahne said.

"You're just jealous," Amara sneered.

"Not really," Rahne said as St.John finished burning the animal.

--------------------

**Detention with Kelly**

**with all the Brotherhood, all current X-men in school, Duncan, Evil Fred, Elizabeth, and Mysty.**

"Hey Mysty, wanna sit with me away from the mutie freaks?" Duncan asked Mysty.

"Hell no," Mysty pulled away from him.

"I'm not a mutant," Arcade said.

"You live with them," Duncan shrugged.

"True," Arcade sighed.

"Good afternoon delinquents," Kelly walked in, sober, "AH! MUTANTS!"

"I'm not a mutant," Arcade and Duncan said.

"AH! SCARY GEEKY KID! NO ONE BELIEVES ME WHEN I TELL THEM HE HACKED THE COMPUTERS!" Kelly screamed.

"How could a little kid defeat a security set up by the government?" Arcade asked innocently.

"I hate you," Duncan said, "You changed my grades didn't you?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about," Arcade laughed.

"GEEK!" Duncan jumper over three rows of desks and attempted to tackle Arcade.

"BROTHERHOOD DEFEND THE ONLY HUMAN IN OUR RANKS!" Lance yelled. Good Fred stepped in front of Duncan ending the attack, "Good work we have saved a fellow member."

"We?" Good Fred asked.

"Dukes," Evil Fred walked in late to detention, "We meet again,"

"Y'all see each other everyday at lunch." Rogue muttered.

"Earls," Good Fred said in a dangerous voice, "We meet again,"

"HE JUST SAID THAT!" Rogue shouted.

"DIE!" Evil Fred 'jumped' at Good Fred.

"STOP FIGHTING!" Kelly screamed trying to pull the two boys, both were bigger than him, apart. Needless to say, but I'll type it anyway, he failed and ended up flying into a wall. Not literally into. He didn't break the wall. Just hit it really really hard. There must be some reason they use cinder blocks in schools instead of soft wood.

"Oops," Both Freds said, "Your fault ... NO YOURS! STOP SAYING WHAT I SAY!" The argument quickly turned back to fists.

"Is he alive?" Rogue asked looking at a very still Kelly.

"Hold on I'll check," Mysty got up and kicked him.

Kelly groaned at the pain.

"Sadly yes," Mysty sighed, "To bad."

"YO ARCADE CATCH!" Todd grabbed Kelly's briefcase and tossed it at Arcade.

"Man what is in this?" Arcade nearly dropped it from the weight, "Hey who knows the combo?"

"Try his birthday," Mysty suggested.

"What is his birthday?" Lance asked grabbing the case and examining it.

"Something tells me we will be in trouble when we get home," Kurt muttered.

"We got detention of course we will be in trouble," Kitty sighed.

"Hello Roguey," Meanwhile Pietro leaned against Rogue, "You, me, Duncan's party. I'll pick you up a minute before it starts."

"HEY KITTY COME USE YOUR POWERS TO PHASE THE LOCK OFF!" Lance yelled across the room.

"Okay," Kitty stopped talking with Kurt and phased the lock off.

"We really will be in trouble," Kurt sighed looking at a 'sleeping' Kelly, "At least it isn't all bad," Kurt pulled a marker out of his bag.

"PLAYBOY!" Kitty screamed when the suitcase fell open without a lock holding it closed.

"The new one," Lance's eyes glazed over.

"LANCE!" Kitty screamed.

"I guess you'll get that date with Kitty," Rahne muttered to Piotr.

"Score," Piotr said too quietly for Kitty to hear.

"Owww," Kelly groaned slowly sitting up, "What hit me?"

"A wall," Pietro smirked, "And then the floor, then a foot,"

"Oww, what time is it?" Kelly asked attempting to see his watch. He failed to notice that Todd had relieved him of the unnecessary piece of metal.

"Six," Lance said before the X-men could answer honestly. It was only 3:30.

"Oh, detention's over then," Kelly got up and attempted to open the door. He was grabbing and turning a poster instead of the knob.

"Where's my briefcase, I have important papers in there." Kelly said.

"Real important, look this one's signed," Bobby held up a magazine.

"BOBBY!" Jubilee yelled.

"This is interesting," Tabitha commented reading one of the articles.

"Really interesting," Ray commented looking over her shoulder, "Eew, now I can't look at cheese the same way ever again."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LANCE! LOOKING AT THAT FILTH!" Kitty screamed.

"You opened it," Lance defended.

"THIS IS ABOUT YOU! NOT ME!" Kitty screamed.

"Oh look Dorothy picked up my mail," Kelly said swaying slightly as he picked up a few discarded magazines.

"I am leaving," Rogue said, most X-men went with her. Only Ray, Tabitha, Kitty, and Piotr remained.

"Free at last, free at last," Elizabeth muttered walking out.

"It was only half an hour," Mysty said to her, following her out, "Besides it was fun to see Kelly get knocked out."

"Listen to this," Tabitha read, "'...then you take the cheese and melt it ... after that you smear...'"

"Gross," Ray moaned holding his stomach which was threatening to empty itself.

"Perhaps you two should not read that," Piotr told the two.

"LANCE YOU SHOULD RESPECT WOMEN!" Kitty screamed.

"This is funny," Pietro laughed as Kitty hit Lance on the chest.

"I'm glad my snuckums would never hurt me," Todd said smiling at Wanda.

"Eew," Wanda gaged when she saw Todd's teeth, she then hexed him into the wall.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house**

"My arms hurt," Lance moaned from the couch.

"I'll bet," Wanda said bringing him more ice, "Kitty is pretty mean."

"At least she forgave me," Lance sighed, "What did I do anyway?"

"Guys," Wanda muttered dropping the ice on a valuable piece of Lance's body.

"OW! COLD! PAIN! NUMBNESS!" Lance screamed.

"TV's broke," Good Fred sighed after trying to get it to stop being fuzzy. He had used the age old method of hitting it.

"NOOOO!" Pietro screamed, "I HAVE TO WATCH MISS AMERICA!"

"Yeah bring on the swimsuits," Lance and Arcade said.

"Men," Wanda muttered.

"THOSE GIRLS MAY HAVE NOTHING ON MY LOOKS, BUT I STILL NEED TO SIZE UP THE COMPETITION!" Pietro said, "Hey I should get a bikini,"

"NOOO!" Everyone screamed.

"QUICK MEN! WE MUST GET A TV!" Lance shot up, grabbed his hurt anatomy and fell over, "owww,"

"Maybe I should drive," Wanda said looking at the poor excuse for a person.

"NOOO!" Everyone screamed.

"What's wrong with my driving?" Wanda asked.

"Does the word 'boom' mean anything?" Pietro asked.

"I'm not Tabitha," Wanda said.

"Explosion, tickets, death, pain, public hazard?" Arcade asked, "DHS, FBI, Police, MADD, PTA, PTSA, any other organization that would try to get you off the streets."

"What are you talking about?" Wanda asked.

"Nothing," Arcade sighed, "I'll drive,"

"You have a license?" Everyone asked.

"No, but neither does Lance." Arcade said.

"You don't have a license?" Wanda asked.

"I don't have twenty dollars to pay," Lance shrugged.

"That means I am the only Brotherhood brother, er in my case sister, who has a license. I drive." Wanda smiled.

"Drive what?" Good Fred asked, "We have no car."

"Uh ... " Wanda tried to think of a plan.

"Try the junkyard, Mystique got me my jeep there," Lance groaned sitting up.

--------------------

**Junk Yard.**

After disposing of their neighbors missing car the Brotherhood began to search through the heaps of heaps. I am using the second heaps to describe the cars.

"How about this one?" Todd said kicking a beautiful corvette on the front wheel. The car proceeded to fall apart, "Never mind."

"Hey Pietro what is this," Arcade asked oblivious to what the other were doing.

"Looks like a sandwich," Pietro examined the unknown artifact.

"I dare you to eat it," Arcade said.

"Your on," Pietro gulped the 'sandwich' down, "Erugh, that was bad,"

"I think I use to lift these at the circus," Good Fred said picking a car up, "Only those had less rust on them."

"Here's one," Wanda said finding a red Jeep just like Lance's old one. Except the color which is as I said, red.

"It's red," Lance said staring at the car, "Red is too much like Summer's car."

"Oh right," Wanda said looking around, finding a can of paint that local vandals had discarded when the guard dog chased them off, (Wanda had scared it off so it wasn't bothering the Brotherhood,) Wanda began to paint the car in psychedelic colors.

"Man that reminds me of that bad trip I had last summer," Lance said as the partly rotted paint covered the car, and with the help of improbability it didn't ruin the interior or windows.

"Really, you went on a trip? Where?" Arcade asked.

"Not that kind of trip buddy, this 'trip' left him pucking and hallucinating for weeks afterward," Todd said.

"Oh," Arcade said understanding.

"Okay now we can steal ...err... find a new TV," Wanda said after an incredibly unlikely fire dried the paint without hurting the car.

"Which store gives away ...err... sells good TV's?" Lance asked.

"To Worst Sell," Pietro laughed, and sped away leaving the rest in a cloud of dust.

"Great, he got into the sugar," Lance sighed.

"No I think it was that half molded sandwich he ate." Arcade said very quietly.

--------------------

**Worst Sell Electronics**

"Oh this one has a built in DVD player," Pietro said happily zooming up and down the aisles, "HOLY ME THIS ONE IS FIVE FEET!"

"Or we could get one that we could carry," Wanda said pointing to a smaller TV.

"Why not have Freddy carry it, he can carry something that big," Pietro pointed out.

"Yes, but can he speed past security?" Lance asked.

"Man do I have to carry it?" Pietro whinnied.

"Yes," Lance said.

"Why doesn't he just use a cart," Arcade pointed to an abandon cart that someone had left in the middle of the store.

"Okay, Pietro speed it outta here," Wanda ordered.

"Why me?" Pietro whinnied.

"Because, I don't want to have to hex you," Wanda said.

"Good reason," Pietro quipped. He then loaded the TV into the Jeep and came back.

--------------------

**On the way back to the Brotherhood house**

'I should tell Wanda that we need more light bulbs but that would mean having to be in this car longer,' Lance thought to himself as he held on for dear life while Wanda tore up the street, literally and figuratively.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"We need light bulbs," Wanda said as they entered the dark house, "And we can't even use the TV for light until we hook it up. And we can't hook it up without light."

"We could call the X-men ..." Todd said.

"WHAT! TRAITOR!" Everyone else yelled, except Arcade who didn't really understand the feud.

"Let me explain, let use borrow Pyro for a few minutes." Todd explained, "While he's burning the street down we will have light."

"But we won't have a house." Lance said.

"We would have TV," Todd said, it is the only thing that matters.

"But we would have no house," Lance persisted.

"So?" Todd and Good Fred asked.

"MY MAKE UPS IN THIS HOUSE! WE CAN'T BURN IT!" Pietro yelled.

"You would think I would be the one to say that," Wanda muttered.

"Yeah, but he uses more than you," Lance sighed.

"Really? I use a lot," Wanda said.

"Have you seen him without his make up, not pretty," Lance shuddered at the memory of once walking in on Pietro while Pietro was getting ready.

"I'm going to bed," Wanda yawned, "Don't invite the firebug over."

"Me too," Lance went to his room, "AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF DISOBEYING WANDA!"

"I would never disobey Wanda," Todd said heading to his room.

"TOAD GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Wanda screamed.

"SORRY THOUGHT IT WAS MY ROOM!" Todd managed to yelled before the house was lit up by a glowing blue Todd.

"I am raiding the fridge," Good Fred went into the kitchen, luckily there was enough moonlight to light his way or there would be more holes in the walls.

"Don't they realize we could just go out and buy light bulbs while the stores are open," Arcade said to himself trying to avoid a hyperventilating Pietro.

"My beautifying products. Not that I need help being beautiful, but still burning?" Pietro said from his fetal position on the floor.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Asia**

"ARISE MY LOYAL SLIGHTLY CREEPY FISH-LIKE SUBJECTS!" Jamie #3 yelled to his crew on his ship 'The Flying Dutchman #3.'

"I hate land lubbers." Davy Jones muttered, he was tied to the mast.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: Who's marching band does that sound like? It wasn't my fault blame the seniors, again. For both incidents._

_2: I saw a UFO on my way to school. I'm not saying it was aliens, just that I don't know what it was. Might have come from the local airport, we have lots of low flying planes._

_3: The only correlation between my band and this band is the trip and the clowns. No drunk people, that would have been funny, and no crashing x-jets._

_4: To anyone who thinks I have insomnia, I don't. For some reason some people think I do, the same people who keep me awake on band trips ... at 3 in the morning ... when we are going home._

_5: A lyre is either a Greek harp, or a clip used to hold sheet music to a horn. Often used by band kids so they don't have to memorize stand music. Too bad they don't let us use them in the field show._

_6: Following dialog is based on something I overheard in Virgina. I truly can never look at cheese again. Let's just say it was old ladies talking about fantasies they had. Or acted out, I tried not to pay attention, so I'm not sure._

_PLEASE review._


	20. Sept 13, A Batty Date

_Disclaimer: Please see any other disclaimer on this site._

**September 13 - Wednesday - A Batty Date**

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood House, before the crack of dawn.**

"RING!" For once the alarm clocks did not wake the mutants from their holy sleep. It was the door bell which for once managed to ring fully.

"WHO THE HELL IS THAT! IT IS STILL DARK OUT!" Wanda screamed.

**--------------------**

**Doorstep**

"Hurry up," A green girl said nervously watching the eastern sky. Searching for the sun which was her deadline to get home. Emphasis on dead. Sun light kills vampires (slowly and painfully via burning), which is why she had to get inside before it rose. (A/N: 1)

"Damn, diurnal living people," The Vampire, Marcy, muttered, "Always sleeping during the night."

"Hello?" Lance answered the door not realizing he was in the nude. You would think after answering the door for Good Fred's midnight snacks a few times, he would at least start wearing boxers.

"Hi ... I came for Todd but I think I changed my mind," Marcy said staring downwards.

"Uhh?" Lance blinked not fully awake, "AHHH!" he ran inside, "TOAD YOUR SISTER IS HERE!"

"TOAD HAS A SISTER?" Wanda screamed, "PLEASE TELL ME SHE IS STRAIGHT!"

"A SISTER?" Pietro gasped, "NO THE HORROR!"

"I HAVE A SISTER?" Todd asked.

"I AM NOT YOUR SISTER!" Marcy screamed.

"That voice is familiar," Todd muttered.

"IT SHOULD BE! WE MEET AT THE CHINESE RESTAURANT!" Marcy screamed, "IT'S ME MARCY!"

"HOT MARCY IS HERE!" Todd screamed happily.

"TOAD I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING HER INTO THE HOUSE!" Arcade screamed. (A/N: 2)

"I'M NOT IN THE HOUSE!" Marcy screamed, "COME HERE ALL THIS YELLING IS HURTING MY THROAT!"

"YOU'RE DEAD HOW CAN IT HURT!" Arcade screamed from his room, "Oops I should not have said that ..."

"DIE!" Marcy screamed flying into the house.

"AHHH!" Lance screamed when she flew past the kitchen where he was hiding to protect his image.

"SAVE ME!" Arcade screamed jumping out of the window. Luckily for him the sun had just risen.

"Man," Marcy sighed stopping short of the first rays of light shinning through the window.

"GO BACK TO BED EVERYONE! WE STILL HAVE AN HOUR TILL SCHOOL!" Wanda screamed, satisfied that Todd's 'sister' wasn't going to hit on her.

"Eep," Arcade gulped seeing the glaring Vampire in his room.

**--------------------**

**Breakfast**

"So, Marcy, your stuck here until the sun goes down? Then your kidnapping Toad and taking him on a date?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, your point?" Marcy asked.

"I didn't know that dieing impaired people's judgments so much," Wanda muttered.

"ANYONE ELSE CREEPED OUT THAT WE HAVE A VAMPIRE AT THE TABLE!" Arcade screamed hiding in the sunlight.

"Not really," Wanda and Lance shrugged.

"What vampire?" Good Fred asked.

"THE GREEN ONE!" Arcade screamed.

"Toad? He's not a vampire," Good Fred said.

"AHHH!" Arcade screamed running from the window, "I LIVE WITH IDIOTS!"

"Sooo ... basically your stuck in this house until night? Why didn't you wait until night to get Toad?" Lance asked turning away from the panicking Arcade.

"My brother was being annoying," Marcy shrugged, "Stupid corpse,"

"Aren't you a corpse too?" Wanda asked.

"No, I am a vampire, I never really died. I just went straight to the undead part. Ghost and Zombies have to die before they can be living. Vampires don't we just need to be bitten." Marcy explained.

"Ah, so you never died." Lance understood.

"Right, so my body never rotted, thus I am not a corpse," Marcy explained.

"So werewolves are undead who haven't died?" Lance asked trying to figure the whole paranormal thing out.

"No werewolves are just cursed people," Marcy explained, "Like possessed people. You can tell that because they die of old age."

"You have pretty green eyes snuckums," Todd said staring at Marcy.

"Uragh," Wanda blanched, "At least it isn't me anymore."

"Okay Arcade is right. This is creepy." Lance muttered.

"NOOO! WE ARE OUT OF PIZZA!" Good Fred screamed.

"So order some more," Marcy said calmly basking in Todd's attention.

"We can't most pizza places around here have blacklisted our address, and most of us." Wanda explained.

"Lance you have to drive me to Canada to buy more pizza." Good Fred begged.

"Canada?" Marcy asked.

"Hey, I drive, I am the only one with a license." Wanda said, "BROTHERHOOD TO THE HIPPIE JEEP!"

"I'm the leader," Pietro whinnied.

"No your not I am," Lance said. To which Wanda laughed. "I AM!" He insisted.

"I thought I was?" Good Fred scratched his head.

"Some first date," Marcy laughed to Todd as the three other guys got into a macho match.

"You two haven't gone anywhere and you already consider it a date?" Wanda asked.

"So?" Marcy asked dodging a thrown plate.

"TAKE THIS!" Lance screamed causing a minor earthquake.

"EAT TABLE!" Good Fred yelled picking up the table that Wanda, Marcy, and Todd were eating at, and then throwing it into Pietro's path.

"Interesting people," Marcy muttered watching the guys fight, "Makes me glad I am dead."

**--------------------**

**Canada Border**

"Shouldn't we be in school?" Arcade asked from the trunk where the Brotherhood had tossed him, only to get gagged.

"This was good idea," Marcy said to Wanda. She was covered head to toe in Gothic clothes that blocked out the sun.

"I only brought you so Toad wouldn't obsess over me," Wanda said.

"Hello," The border worker said happily, "Are you going to Canada for Business of Pleasure?"

"Business," Good Fred said quickly, he was decked out in a mob outfit.

"My head," Pietro moaned, he was bandaged from the fight.

"I want to drive," Lance whinnied.

"SHUT UP YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENSE!" Wanda yelled at him.

"Uhh, right. I need your IDs," The worker said.

"ID's?" Wanda blinked.

"Passports please," The man said still with his fake smile.

"Uhh ..." Wanda blinked cluelessly.

"Here, Mystique gave me these before she ran." Lance handed Wanda a stack of passports for the brotherhood members. Neither Marcy nor Arcade had one. It didn't matter for Arcade as he was hidden in the trunk.

"What about that green girl?" The man asked before thinking about what he said, "Green girl? That guy is green too?"

"Rare genetic disorder, nothing really that troublesome. Though it makes them stink." Lance quickly BS-ed to avoid a potently anti mutant problem.

"She still needs an ID," The man said.

"Wanda," Lance began.

"I know," Wanda sighed. She then hexed the man through his booth and drove past really fast.

**--------------------**

**Pizza Place a hour into Canada.**

"We'll have six sausage, twelve peperoni, twenty cheese-" Wanda ordered before being interrupted by Arcade.

"ONE WITH ANCHOVIES!" Arcade yelled still tied up, temporarily ungagged, but in the restaurant (they carried him).

"-One with anchovies," Wanda added, "And five meat lovers."

"So your hungry then aye?" The man behind the counter asked.

"Yeah, and we need some for the rest of the week," Good Fred said.

"Okay ... wow this number is so big I can't even read it," The man handed Wanda a very long reciet so she could read the price.

"It isn't that big," Wanda commented, "Smaller than most of our bills." Wanda payed the man with money she had hexed from the booth operater.

"Thank you." Good Fred grabbed the stack of pizzas the poor cook had just poured two years of his lifespan into making them in the slightly radioactive microwave. Might I mention that this is a bad-pizza place that uses microwaves.

**--------------------**

**Border crossing**

"Perhaps we should try another crossing," Lance suggested seeing the many federal (US and Canadaian) officals milling about pretending to look for the 'evil' mutants that attacked the the border worker.

"Perhaps, but the next one isn't for several miles." Wanda said.

"That's fine," Lance said, "I would prefer not to make the international headlines."

"Good point," Wanda said, using a hex to stop Pietro from posing for the cameras. After subduing the egotistical mutant the group left.

"ON THE ROAD AGAIN!" Marcy and Todd sang.

"...grant me the strength to avoid temptation..." Lance prayed in the front seat.

"What temptation?" Wanda asked, momentarily distracted from the road. Which is worse in Canada as she still thought the speed signs were in MPH not KPH. Add on the extra amount (that she uses as a buffer to make sure she never falls under the limit like bad drivers) and she is drivign well over 100 MPH (160.9344 KMP).

"To kill the green people," Lance groaned as Marcy and Todd gave up on that song and started one they actually knew all the words to.

"Show me the way to go home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a lil' drink about and hour ago. And. it. went. right. to. my. head. Where ever I may roam. On land or sea or snow. You'll always hear me singing this song. Show me the way to go home." Both burst into laughter.

"LANCE!" Pietro shouted, "GIVE INTO TEMPTATION!"

"It is tempting ..." Lance muttered.

"Temptation is tempting? What is the world coming to," Wanda joked.

"Did Wanda just make a joke?" Pietro asked to group.

"Yes." Lance stared at her, "It must be the dirty air up here, in this forest, with clean air... It is going to her head. We hace to get back to the clean smog filled Bayville for Wanda's sake."

**--------------------**

**Thunder Bay Canada a few hours later.**

"My Candian geography is a little rusty, but is Thunder Bay anywhere near New York?" Lanced asked.

"I don't think so." Good Fred muttered checking one of his maps. This one was a map of the Soviet Union - before the breakup, "Yeah New York is closer to Moscow instead of Canada."

"I think we figured out why we are lost," Marcy laughed hugging Todd, "It gets cold up here, maybe you should help me stay warm."

"Gargh!" Everyone else gagged, except Todd who just smiled at her, "Chicks dig the slimmy dude."

"GARGH!" Everyone gagged louder.

"I feel like throwing up," Wanda groaned.

"I don't know if I believe in God, but I believe in the devil, and he is a cruel sick man who is planting words in Toad's mouth." Good Fred groaned.

"I have seen hell, it's sitting the back seat." Lance groaned, "And it's green."

"HOW THE HELL DID HE GET A GIRL BEFORE ME!" Pietro yelled.

"Didn't you go to the dance with four girls?" Good Fred asked.

"Yeah but none of them were that obvious about that sort of thing," Pietro sighed.

"As interesting as it is to compare our love lives, perhaps we should figure out how to get home? I don't have to remind you that we don't have permission to be in this country, and probably have several mounties after us." Lance said.

"Shouldn't we first figure out which way the border is from here?" Wanda asked.

"South, the border is to the south." Lance said, "Which way is South?"

"Uhh, lets see the sun rises in the East, and sets in the west. So South is right of the sun rise ... What time is it?" Wanda said looking around for a clock, "Okay would it be considered sunrise or sunset right now?"

"Uh, Wanda the sun is down, we've been driving for quite a while," Pietro said.

"No wonder I'm hungry," Good Fred muttered from where he had destroyed the Brotherhood's weekly supply of pizza in under an hour.

"Wanda pull into that bar," Lance pointed to a bar.

"Uh Lance none of us are twenty one yet," Wanda pointed out, "Oh right this is Canada. Toad is still too young."

"BEER!" Pietro whooped and ran into the bar.

"Good idea Lance." Wanda groaned, "Beer and Pietro, nothing can go wrong."

"Oops." Lance paled.

"Cool I'm the designated driver," Todd laughed as the others went inside, without Arcade.

"Hey DD, wanna play?" Marcy giggled.

"Chicks dig the slimy dude." Todd laughed.

**--------------------**

**Bar**

"... and hotwings." Good Fred ordered everthing and then some.

"We don't serve half of that," The man pointed out.

"Just get it or I get mad," Good Fred said slowly in a very bad italian mafia accent.

"Yes sir," The accent probably did nothing, it was the thought of a giant sitting on him that made the man snap to it.

**------------------**

**Parking Lot**

"STOP TICKLING ME!" Todd laughed.

"YOU CHEATED!" Marcy yelled.

'God help me!' Arcade thought still duct taped in the trunk, 'Why oh why?'

**--------------------**

**Bar**

"Are we forgetting something?" Lance asked himself starting a another plate of hotwings, "Oh well. Who's up for pool?"

"Me," Wanda said.

"You cheat," Lance pouted.

"I do not." Wanda stated.

"Yes you do, there is now way you could get all the balls on a break to go in. At least not without probability altering." Lance said.

"I promise I will not use my powers," Wanda said holding up a hand. The other hand was tucked under the table with two fingers crossed. She gt up and walked over to the table and grabbed a stick, "Any one have a loonie? This thing doesn't take quarters."

"I wonder why, it's not like we are in a foriegn contry." Lance muttered walking up to the table, pasuing only to relieve another patron of an unneccesary coin. "Here we go," Lance slide the coin in, "Remember no cheating."

**--------------------**

**Parking lot**

'I am related to Houdini, surely I can break out of these measly duct tape bonds.' Arcade thought with grim determination, 'ALMOST!' Arcade strained against his bonds, 'Soon soon,' With a muffled grunt Arcade gave up. Apparently a cucoon of duct tape are hard to break out of. Especially for a weakling.

**--------------------**

**Bar**

"You cheated." Lance muttered, he had lost, badly.

"I did not," Wanda grinned twirling the stick in her hands, "Gambit taught me how to play last year, when I was still brain washed. In exchange for watching Pyro for a few hours. It was not worth it. To bad I have to kill him next time I see him, he was hot. If only he would stop working for my dad."

"I thought Gambit quitted with the others?" Pietro said after being coming back to the group when he got rejected by a drunk Canadian girl.

"Oh, good that means I don't have to kill him, just Rogue so that I can have him." Wanda said.

"NO! HE IS STILL WORKING FOR DADDY!" Pietro screamed.

"Don't lie to me Pietro," Wanda muttered the tables shaking slightly.

"I once thought that Wanda was emotionally repressed, but she seems to be turning into a normal girl. Great, is she going to be like Tabitha?" Lance moaned.

"Don't even mention that name," Good Fred shivered, "Bad memories, my hair was cut off, WHAAA!"

"You're pathetic." Wanda muttered, "And your hair is really stupid, I bet you were better bald."

"OH no, you're turning into Tabitha the second ..." Good Fred slowly backed away from Wanda, "WHAT HAS XAVIER DONE TO YOUR HEAD! QUICK WE MUST MAKE TO TIN FOLI HAT TO SAVE WANDA FROM XAVIER'S MIND CONTROL!"

"WHAT! NOT ANOTHER TABITHA!" Pietro screamed. He ran toward the back of the bar and found some tin foil. Using that he fashioned a hat for Wanda and placed it on her head. "NOW XAVIER CAN'T TURN ANOTHER PERSON INTO TABITHA!"

"Why would Xavier turn Wanda into Tabitha, he has high enough repair bills from the original one." Lance pointed out.

"XAVIER IS A MUNIPULATIVE MASTERMIND! HE IS PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION!" Good Fred shouted.

"Riiight, the cripple that is too blind to see anything that his students do is plotting to take over the world." Wanda rolled her eyes struggling with the foil crown.

"Don't worry Wanda that won't come off, I used duct tape." Pietro said, thinking she was making sure it was fully on.

"YOU PUT DUCT TAPE IN MY HAIR!" Wanda screamed the entire building shaking without Lance's help.

**--------------------**

**Parking lot**

"Did you just feel something?" Marcy asked.

"Probably just Lance loosing at pool, or darts, or poker, or something else." Todd shrugged it off.

"MUPHH!" Arcade grunted banging his head on the roof (at least a roof to him.)

"I heard something different that time," Marcy said, "Are you sure that that was Lance?"

"It could be Wanda." Todd shrugged. "Actually now that I think about it, they have been in there a long time. Maybe we should check on them."

"Okay." Marcy got out of the jeep.

"MARPH!" Arcade tried to yell.

"Did you hear something?" Marcy asked getting slightly scared.

"Yeah, sounded like a ... well I don't know what." Todd said.

"Sounds like those skeletons at the cemetary," Marcy shuddered, "Oh how I hate them, they are evil, they want to take over the world."

"Do you think it could be one?" Todd asked getting scared.

"I don't know, they do want to get rid of mutants and other undead or living dead, because they think that only we can fight them ..."

"So this could a be a hit skeleton?" Todd asked panicing.

"Let's get inside." Marcy dragged Todd past the bouncer.

"ARMPH!" Arcade grunted.

The two green people walked into the recently emptied bar to find crowned Wanda beating the snot out of her twin.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Pietro screamed.

"SORRY WON'T GET THE DUCT TAPE OFF!" Wanda screamed.

"YOU CAN HEX IT OFF!" Pietro screamed.

"NOT EVEN MY HAXES CAN GET DUCT TAPE OFF!"

"NOT THE KNIFES!" Pietro ran at normal speed from several sharp objects. Wanda let him move some just for the chase, but not enough that he could get away.

"I WILL KILL YOU AND FEED YOU TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Wanda screamed.

"He doesn't have a girlfriend," Lance muttered emptying the cash register, "Great this is all in Canadian money."

"I guess it was Wanda," Marcy said watching the scene unfold, "Wait I see Fred, that weird guy with the vest, Wanda, and her scary twin. Where is that nerd that I wanted to kill?"

"Uhhh ..." Todd blinked, "THE SKELETONS GOT HIM!"

"Your right! A human is an easy target, and he has information on all of you!" Marcy paused and thought for a minute, "Those skeletons are pretty smart for something without brains."

"Uh what did you say?" Lance left the money in the cash register and walked over to the two.

"LANCE THE SKELETONS GOT ARCADE!" Todd blurted out.

"WHAT THEY GRABBED HIM FROM THE TRUNK!" Lance yelled.

"YEAH!" The two yelled, not noticing that he just said where Arcade was, or even bothering to remember that the trunk hadn't been touched while they were out there playing cards.

"WANDA STOP CHASING PIETRO!" Lance yelled, "THE SKELETONS GOT ARCADE!"

"Skeletons?" Wanda and Pietro stopped to ask.

"Hey, a Vampire just told me," Lance shrugged, "Who am I to think it is weird?"

"Good point," Wanda shrugged, "Which way did they take him?"

"Uh..." Todd looked blankly at Marcy.

"Well, the oldest skeleton and there leader died, for a lack of a better word, by freezing to death in northern Canada..." Marcy started thinking out loud.

"Wait, people have only been in canada for what five hundred years, aren't skeletons older than that?" Pietro asked.

"It was an Eskimo," Marcy said, "Let's see, Aguta lives in that..."

"Who?" Pietro interrupted.

"The first living skeleton, he leads the rest. Now stop interrupting me." Marcy snapped, "Aguta lives in a fortified cemetary on Ellesmere island, with a bunch of his slaves." Marcy turned to the mutants, "We need to get to that place and rescue the annoying geek."

"You said island, right?" Lance asked. To which Marcy nodded. Lance sighed, "How do we get to an island without a boat?"

"Uh... swim?" Marcy shrugged.

"In Canadian waters?" Lance asked slightly shocked at Marcy's cluelessness, "WE WILL FREEZE!"

"Oh right, you guys are alive still." Marcy slapped her head, "Uh I guess we could borrow a boat, first we should drive as far north as we can."

"Can we do it in the morning?" good Fred yawned, "All this eating has made me tired."

"..." The entire restaurant (which is the Brotherhood and Marcy) stared at Good Fred.

"What?" Good Fred asked.

"ARCADE'S LIFE COULD HANG ON OUR ACTIONS AND YOU WANT TO SLEEP?" Wanda screamed.

"So, we aren't sleeping?" Good Fred pouted.

"NO WE ARE DRIVING TILL WE REACH THE CLOSEST POINT TO THAT CEMETRY AS WE CAN! THEN WE ARE PIOLETING A BOAT THE REST OF THE WAY!" Wanda screamed, the room shaking.

"Do you want to get that crown off first?" Lance asked Wanda.

"NO TIME!" Wanda ran out to the Jeep and started it. Sortly thereafter the Brotherhood followed on pain of hex.

"Soooo, how do we get to that island?" Lance asked when Wanda stopped at the exit of the parking lot, trying to decide if she should go left or right.

"Left, that is north," Marcy said, "I hope the skeletons haven't eaten his flesh yet."

"EAT HIS FLESH?" Wanda screamed.

"Yeah, that is how they turn others into skeletons." Marcy explained, "They eat the flesh to leave the bones."

"WE HAVE TO HURRY AND SAVE ARCADE!" Wanda screamed.

"MYF FUUF AFUVV!" Arcade tried to scream for help from the trunk.

"Since when has Wanda cared about anyone?" Pietro asked the boys.

"Since she became unstable due to Mastermind." Lance said.

**--------------------**

**Gas station**

"Why do I have to fill it up?" Lance muttered.

"You're the only one who knows how." Todd pointed out.

"Where is Wanda anyway?" Lance asked looking at the empty driver's seat.

"She went into pay," Marcy said.

"Hey are you done yet?" Wanda walked out of the gas station in a rush, her pockets bulging with money.

"Do we want to know how you got that?" Pietro pointed at a hundred bill sticking out of her pocket.

"No." Wanda laughed as sirens were heard in the background.

"All done." Lance groaned climbing into the back of the jeep, "Can i drive?"

"No." Wanda said sternly.

**--------------------**

**Canadian Coast**

"Wow we got here fast," Lance groaned, throwing up in some rocks from the vertigo of the ride.

"Wanda was driving, of course we got here fast." Todd said.

"I think it helped that Wanda hexed the jeep to be really light, then had Pietro push." Marcy said.

"My beautiful arms," Pietro groaned hugging his sore arms.

"It's getting late." Wanda sighed, "We should probably wait till tomarrow to attack. If Arcade has that much time..."

"Don't worry, it takes several days for them to eat all the flesh." Marcy reassured her, "The lack of a stomach slows them down."

"Right, we camp her then steal a boat in th morning," Wanda said calmly.

"Camp, in the cold?" Lance blinked, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME CRAZY?" Wanda screamed, everything around them shaking, which was only the jeep.

"ARMPH!" Arcade sreamed.

"... No ..." Lance mumbled.

"Good," Wanda hissed before grabbing a space blanket she had stolen when they stopped for gas, "Good night."

**--------------------**

**Parts Unknown, Ocean near Asia**

"Yo ho yo ho, blah blah, and a bottle of rum." Jamie #3 sang.

**--------------------**

**Nevada Desert, 90 miles north of Area 51.**

"Almost complete," Magneto laughed tighting the last screw on what look like a demonic nuke box, "With this the entire world will be under my control. NO MUTANT SHALL SUFFER UNDER THE HANDS OF HUMANS! MUTANTS SHALL RISE ABOVE!"

"PUT A SOCK IN IT! AND BRING ME SOME PICKLES!" Mystique screamed from the TV room, "I hated being pregnant with Kurt. I thought nothing could get worse than those hair balls. But these scales? What the hell does this baby look like? Oh look Martha's cheating on Carl with his clone's sister's boyfriend's clone." Mystique turned back to her Soaps.

"Why did I marry her?" Magneto groaned when he accidently broke the dial on his contraption, "Oh yeah, I got her pregnant."

**--------------------**

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: Chapter 13, the Haunted Chinese restaurant._

_2: To quote Arcade, "Toad, I forbid you from bringing her into the house."_

_PLEASE review._


	21. Sept 14, Skeleton Key

_Disclaimer: Please see any other disclaimer on this site._

**September 14 - Thursday - Skeleton Key**

--------------------

**Canadian Coast**

"Why am I so cold?" Pietro woke up with a sniffle.

"Because we are camping out in the northern part of Canada by an ocean." Marcy said wrapping herself in her layers of sun protective clothing.

"Ugggh," Lance groaned from where during his sleep he had managed to crawl under Wanda's blanket.

"Lance, don't make any sudden moves." Good Fred warned his friend so that he wouldn't wake Wanda up.

"What?" Lance asked getting up, not awake enough for common sense to kick in.

'YAAWWNN!' Wanda yawned not noticing Lance crawling out from under the blanket.

"My ... sister ..." Pietro stared.

"Are we going to save him?" Lance asked finally awake, and out of harms way.

"Right, we need a boat." Pietro turned from the rest trying to block out his sister and Lance from his mind.

"Shouldn't we wake sugar plum?" Todd asked.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL HER?" Marcy screamed.

"Uhhhh ..." Todd thought hard.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Marcy shouted waking Wanda.

"I'm hungry." Good Fred said ignoring to potential nuclear bomb beside him. Good Fred tried to open the trunk, "HEY IT'S LOCKED!"

"Forget it, we will get you food after we save Arcade." Wanda said.

"ARRMPH!" Arcade's shout for help was covered by Good Fred's stomach roaring.

"Where do we steal a boat?" Wanda asked the ones not currently tied up or fighting.

"How about we take that ferry," Pietro pointed at a ferry.

"Why do they have a ferry going to an island where no one lives?" Lance asked.

"Do not question luck." Wanda said, "EVERYONE INTO THE HIPPIE JEEP WE ARE DRIVING TO THE FERRY!"

"Uh?" Marcy and Todd stopped fighting and paid attention to the others.

'If I survive I will study the art of escapism.' Arcade thought angrily.

--------------------

**The Ferry**

"So what we just wait until we dock?" Lance asked as the Brotherhood milled about trying to not look like mutants.

"I guess, this whole rescue thing is kinda new for us." Pietro said after making sure there were no women worth his time on the near empty boat.

"I thought you rescued your dad?" Todd asked.

"That was simple, run, grab, run. This is complicated because there are good looking women around that I have to grace with my presence, multitasking is hard." Pietro ran off when he saw the only living-non-sister-woman on the boat. leaving the restrooms.

"Grace?" Lance snickered as the woman explained to Pietro, using charades, that she didn't like being ambushed by the bathroom.

"Pietro must have his own dictionary," Todd laughed.

"It's really short," Wanda said, to which the rest just stared, "I switched a few of the definitions one time, before he read it. Now he has several words mixed up."

"That explains how it is mostly the literate girls that beat him up." Lance muttered.

"What is it with women being unable to take a compliment in this day and age." Pietro walked back to the group and groaned.

"Hey look, there's an island!" Good Fred pointed at a large land mass on the horizon, "I bet that is where we are going."

"Hello this is your captain speaking, for all of you crazy enough to want to disembark, do so now." A loud speaker blared as the Brotherhood were the only ones to get into their car to leave the ferry.

--------------------

**The island**

"Now where do we go?" Lance finally asked as the group stared out at the vast expanse of nothing for several minutes.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking." Marcy muttered trying to remember where her dad had warned her to never go.

"It should be at a graveyard right?" Wanda tried to spark Marcy's memory.

"Yeah ..." Marcy struggled with her memory.

"Maybe we should follow the signs to the historic cemetery." Good Fred pointed at a sign that had many bullet holes in it.

"That is either a good sign, or a bad sign." Lance muttered as Wanda began the journey, sealing their fate.

"Ain't no stopping us now, blah blah blah ..." Todd sang not quite knowing all the words.

"This is getting annoying." Lance grunted.

"Getting?" Wanda asked digging her nails into the steering wheel.

"Ain't no mountain high ..." Todd switched to a completely different song.

"TODD LEARN A SONG BEFORE YOU TRY TO SING IT!" Lance finally snapped.

"Yo, you could have just asked me to be quiet." Todd muttered.

"WE TRIED THAT ONCE!"

"Chill, yo-" Todd began only get cut off by Pietro shouting "We're there."

"Hallelujah!" Lance shouted falling out of the jeep in his rush to leave.

--------------------

**Graveyard**

"Now what?" Wanda asked staring at a heavily guarded mausoleum.

"Hey, I got you guys here. You have to do something for yourself." Marcy muttered.

"How hard are skeletons to fight?" Lance asked.

"I have never tried ..." Marcy admitted.

"Do you have any blue prints?" Pietro asked watching a platoon of skeletons pretending to be busy.

"Be glad I even knew where this place was." Marcy muttered.

"Okay, we need a plan..." Lance tried to think, "Any ideas?"

Todd emptied his ear of wax, "Uh what?"

"Nothing." Lance groaned, "Freddy? Wanda? Pietro? Marcy? Did I just ask Pietro?"

"Yes, it shocked me too," Wanda said, "Okay since me and Lance are the ones with the best offensive powers we need to be the distraction. Pietro and Toad will be rescue. Marcy will ... What can vampires do?"

"Suck blood. Not a real help against bloodless skeletons." Lance laughed.

"I don't suck blood." Marcy humphed, "I can fly and turn into a bat."

"Okay, you are lookout." Wanda continued her plan, "Fred will be ... er ... backup."

The group waited in place for a few minutes, before Lance spoke up, "When do we start?"

"Er, now I guess. I haven't rescued many people." Wanda shrugged.

The group waited a few more minutes, before lance spoke up again, "How do we start?"

"I guess we get their attention and send Pietro and Toad in while we distract them." Wanda stared at the moldy old graves and the lazy skeleton guards.

"Right, should I start with an earth quake?" Lance asked.

"I guess that would get their attention." Wanda agreed. Lance shot a fissure at a group of guards who were in the middle of an exciting game of poker, they were playing for teeth.

"CLICK! CHATTER!" The skeletons clanged their teeth as their way of yelling without vocal cords, many fell apart from the vibrations.

"That was oddly easy." Lance blinked at the pile of bones that had been a large group of skeletons, "Let's try it again." Lance shot another quake taking down even more skeletons. "Man this easy, they fall apart."

"No wonder they haven't taken over the world yet." Wanda laughed hexing a platoon of skeletons into the wall, shattering them. "PIETRO GO FIND ARCADE!"

"Oh right," Pietro stopped standing around and ran to the mausoleum.

"This is just pathetic." Lance muttered single handily taking out an army, Wanda took out the next army.

"I can't help but feel like I am forgetting something..." Marcy glanced around.

"That was easy." Wanda said as she and Lance surveyed the damage. Not a single bone moved.

"I CAN'T FIND HIM!" Pietro ran back screaming, carrying a terrified Todd.

"WHAT?" Wanda screamed, her powers scattering bones and gravestones.

"Hey guys, I just remembered something." Marcy flew back to the group.

"Not now, we can't find Arcade." Lance shushed Marcy.

"Better hurry up." Marcy said nervously as every bone slowly floated back into place, creating a very pissed off immortal undead army.

"Why do we need to hurry? We got ride of the guards ..." Lance began, only to have his eyes bug out, "Marcy, did you forget a little detail?"

"Hey my brain is rotting, so sue me." Marcy muttered.

"I thought vampires didn't rot?" Good Fred said ignoring the growing threat.

"Minor disease, got it from some fruit bats." Marcy shrugged.

"Yo, Freddy have you ever tried eating bones?" Todd asked watching the white monstrosities get into an attack formation.

"Sure, chicken bones taste great." Good Fred smiled, his stomach reminding everyone that he was hungry.

"Go eat those bones." Wanda ordered, knocking a platoon apart with her powers, the skeletons slowly reformed.

"I've never tried human bones ..." Good Fred said, "I wonder if they are any good."

"I really hope he doesn't develop a taste for humans." Lance muttered knocking a platoon over for Good Fred to feast on.

"I think that is Aguta." Marcy said distracting the Brotherhood from their imminent demise.

"The metal skeleton?" Lance blinked.

"Yeah, it's some weird metal called adama-something. I think it is indestructible." Marcy shrugged.

"Adamantium? As in scary X-men claws guy?" Todd whimpered.

"Yeah that's the metal." Marcy nodded, "Glad I remembered."

"!$()" Lance cussed, then he saw Good Fred being pushed back by sheer numbers, "I say we leave Arcade."

"I agree," Pietro said, "All those in favor?"

"I!" Everyone shouted, except Good Fred who couldn't hear.

"FREDDY GET IN THE JEEP! WE ARE LEAVING!" Wanda shouted revving the engine.

"COMING!" Good Fred came bounding over with his arms full of skeleton parts.

"KILL THE TRESPASSERS!" Aguta screamed, how he managed without vocal cords is a mystery.

"HURRY!" Lance screamed.

"Hold on, hold on." Wanda finally hexed the frozen engine to life, "HERE WE GO!" she sped away safely tripling the speed limit (still thinking it was MPH.)

--------------------

**An hour (of normal speed) down the road.**

"Skeleton horses, great." Lance moaned.

"Skeleton horses that are very fast." Todd muttered slimming a skinless rider that had come up beside the jeep.

"Okay, I am hereby amending the Brotherhood Charter, 'Anyone who falls behind, stays behind.'" Pietro announced.

"So basically we have the Pirates' Code?" Good Fred asked.

"No, we don't have that whole parley thing." Pietro said.

"Right, we have no mercy. Arragh." Todd made a very bad imitation of pirate, slimming another skeleton rider.

"This is very bad." Wanda muttered, "Hey, Marcy what are our chances of living?"

"Err ... ahh ... I don't really know ..." Marcy glanced at them nervously, "At least being dead isn't so bad. You don't have to worry about that."

"No more rescuing people." Wanda muttered.

"ARPH!" Arcade banged against the trunk. No one noticed as a skeleton hit the jeep at the same time. Their run continued much like this as the group fled to the Ferry dock.

"EAT DIRT, BONES!" Lance shouted sending a wave of gravel at their pursuers.

Marcy glanced at Lance before asking, "Why do you keep doing that, it isn't helping."

"It slows them down." Lance shrugged, "Drive Wanda, drive."

"Uh guys, we're at the docks but the next Ferry isn't for several hours." Wanda announced as she rounded a corner, passing the shot up sign. The dock was empty with a boat far off in the distance.

"I hate life." Lance grumbled.

"Then be glad it won't be bothering you much longer." Marcy said sagely.

"Considering that I am looking at living dead, I don't think death will be much better." Lance muttered as Wanda stopped the Jeep from taking the icy plunge into the water.

"We're stuck." Wanda announced.

"Then this is were we make our stand." Pietro announced in a voice vaguely reminiscent of a general who is facing certain death. Which they were, depending our your definition of death.

"You've been reading dad's Evil General's Guide To Troop Moral again haven't you?" Wanda asked, "I thought I confiscated that from you."

"No, I was reading Lance's Juvenile Delinquent's Guide To Self Improvement." Pietro replied casually.

"Really? I could never get past the first chapter." Lance said.

"The first chapter is on how to finish a self help book." Pietro pointed out.

Lance glanced around, "Oh, right not really that good."

"Obviously." Wanda hissed, "Does that book have anything about how to survive an army of undead monsters.

"Well for undead it recommended video games. For armies it recommends using your friends as a distraction and running." Pietro said, he promptly vanished in a blur.

"Traitor." Everyone muttered.

"Hey wait, I can fly ..." Marcy realized, "Bye, come here Toad." Marcy grabbed Todd and flew off in Pietro's direction.

"I hate them." Wanda hissed.

"You know, I bet I wouldn't freeze in this water, what with all this blubber." Good Fred contemplated abandoning the two. He did.

"HEY! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" Lance screamed.

"YOU HAVE WANDA!" Good Fred shouted, swimming away towards the far off Ferry.

"IS THAT ANY BETTER?" Lance screamed.

"Are you implying something?" Wanda hissed.

Lance cringed, "No ma'ma."

Wanda smiled evilly, "Good boy."

"Here we go." Lance turned back to the herd of bones, "It is a bad day to die."

"Oh yeah." Wanda nodded readying her hexes, "Wait till you see the whites of their eyes."

"What does that even mean? They don't have eyes." Lance asked.

Wanda shrugged, "I think it means you are suppose to not attack till they are close enough to see their eyes clearly."

"They still don't have eyes." Lance muttered.

"THEN ATTACK NOW!" Wanda shot a wave of dirt, air, and bones flying with a hex when the closest row got right up to her. Lance helped with seismic vibrations.

For the next twenty minutes bones, dirt, blood, and bits of wood filled the air as Skeletons attempted to overrun the mutants. After Lance collapsed due to a migraine they succeeded, but not before Wanda tossed a skeleton armed with a knife through the trunk.

"AHHHH!" Arcade attempted to scream when he found himself face to face with his worst fear. His cousin Lenny who never ate. It took him a moment to realize it was a skeleton. Surprisingly this caused him to try to scream again. Luckily for Arcade the gag prevented the still 'living' skeletons from hearing him.

"LET GO!" Wanda screamed as several skeletons tied her arms up with duct tape, "WHY DO YOU HAVE DUCT TAPE WAY OUT HERE!"

"Duct tapes does everything." Aguta said as he walked regally down the slope to the docks.

"WHERE'S ARCADE!" Wanda screamed. During this interchange Arcade was rapidly rubbing his duct tape bonds on the knife the now truly dead skeleton had brought into the trunk.

"Who?" Aguta asked.

"THE DORKY GEEK BOY YOU EVIL PILES OF BONES STOLE!" Wanda screamed, her anger causing several rocks to break around the skeletons.

"I have no clue who you are talking about. Your powers will be useful in my army. That is what I like about mutants, they retain their powers even when they are skeletons." Aguta said, he turned to his subjects, "Take her back to the base, bring that mullet guy."

"Clickly clank clank?" A skeleton chattered.

"We have no use for foolish mortal's machines." Aguta scoffed, "Leave the horseless carriage." The entire army left the area in an inhuman speed. It seems that skeletons can move entire platoons in less time than similar amounts of humans.

Arcade ripped the gag off once he got his hands free and shouted for joy, "FREE!" A paused and considered his position, "Now what?" Arcade looked at his resources, a skeleton and used duct tape. Grabbing a small rib from the skinny completely dead soldier her began to work his way on the lock.

"HA! I CAN BREAK ANY SECURITY MEASURE! MECHANICAL OR ELECTRONIC!" Arcade laughed as the trunk sprang open, "I should keep this rib, it makes a good key. If slightly morbid." Arcade glanced at the empty area, "Now what?"

Marcy landed with Todd arguing, "I don't see why you want to save them."

"Their family." Todd explained.

Marcy sighed, "Fine." She glanced around, "Where are they? HEY THE GEEK'S BACK."

"I WAS IN THE TRUNK THE WHOLE TIME!" Arcade screamed, "WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING IN THE BACK SEAT!"

"Playing poker." Marcy said calmly, "Toad kept cheating."

"Poker?" Arcade blinked, "Never mind that. WHY THE HELL DID YOU THINK THAT I WAS KIDNAPPED!"

"We couldn't find you." Marcy shrugged.

"Never mind that, we have to save Lance and Wanda the skeletons got them." Arcade said.

"Okay ... We'll need help." Marcy began to think up a strategy, "Fred was doing okay while he was eating them, and he hasn't swam that far away." Good Fred had only managed to get a moderate distance from shore. Marcy flew over to him and explained everything to him. He promptly turned around and began to swim back.

"What about Pietro?" Todd asked once Marcy and Good Fred got to shore.

"No telling where that egomaniac is." Arcade sighed, "We shouldn't count on his help."

"TO THE CEMETERY!" Marcy shouted jumping in the drivers seat.

"TO RESCUING FAMILY!" Todd whooped.

"TO A MEAL!" Good Fred cheered.

"TO CERTAIN DEATH! AND OR ENSLAVEMENT IN AN UNDEAD ARMY!" Arcade shouted.

"..." Everyone paused before Todd spoke up, "Are we sure we want to do this?"

"I'm beginning to have second thoughts." Arcade admitted once he thought the situation over.

--------------------

**Aguta's Palace**

Lance slowly swam into consciousness, "What happened?"

"We lost." Wanda grumbled.

"Oh, that explains the headache." Lance groaned.

"It would." Wanda glared around the room.

"Why haven't you hexed yourself free?" Lance asked.

"My arms are duct taped behind my back," Wanda growled.

The door banged opened and a metal skeleton stood before the two mutants, "Good you're awake, are you ready to join my army?"

"Not really," Lance muttered, only to get slapped by a skeleton guard.

"I'll make you a deal." Wanda said, "You can have that guy, and if you let me go I'll help you get my dad in your army."

"HEY!" Lance shouted, he got slapped again.

"You think I am dumb enough to want a metal manipulator in my army?" Aguta asked.

"Oh, right, you're metal." Wanda muttered, "Great that's all I had to negotiate with."

Lance rammed himself into the legs of on of the guards knocking it over, "WANDA RUN!" Lance began to run, followed by Wanda who shoved past Aguta.

"I hate mutants, they always resit." Aguta sighed, "ATTACK!"

The two mutants ran through a series of tunnels and hallways until they reached a dead end. "This is the last time I follow you." Wanda muttered.

"Hey I thought this was the way out." Lance defended himself.

"YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS WHEN WE CAME IN! HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW TO GET OUT?" Wanda screamed, her anger causing the walls to blow out leaving them by an exit.

"Could plan Wanda." Lance said before running outside.

"I meant to do that." Wanda muttered, following him, "And people say lack of control is bad."

"We are the skeletons, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated." Both mutants turned around when they heard an army deliver their threat.

"How the hell are they talking?" Lance asked Wanda.

"That is not important." Wanda tried to think of a way to fight without her hands.

"EAT DIRT!" Lance stomped a foot into the ground, showering their enemies in dirt, rocks and bits of ice.

"ATTACK!" Aguta screamed from the same hole that Wanda had made in his palace.

Silently the skeletons began to attack, falling due to earthquakes. To bad Lance would have to break their bones to keep them down. "WANDA I NEED A PLAN!" Lance yelled as he felt another headache coming on.

"I'M THINKING!" Wanda glanced around, "I need something to cut this duct tape." A sharp sword, knocked flying by Lance, landed beside her. "That works." Wanda began to cut her bonds. Rubbing her wrists Wanda smiled, "Time to party." Raising her hands Wanda recalled the spell that Agatha had taught her, "DISCEDERE MALUM!" Half the skeletons were thrown back.

"Why didn't you do that before?" Lance asked, an eye twitching in anger.

"I couldn't remember it." Wanda shrugged, "Spells are tricky."

"Obviously," Lance growled, "Let's leave."

--------------------

**An hour later**

The two mutants finally came up upon the docks where Todd and Good Fred were 'convincing' the captain not to leave. Marcy was trying to get the jeep onto the ferry. Arcade was trying to get the others to rescue Lance and Wanda.

"Did they not try to rescue us?" Lance asked when they saw the four.

"The same people who ran off when we got taken?" Wanda muttered, "Is that Arcade?"

"Who cares? Let's have fun with them." Lance smiled evilly as he approached the ferry, "Toad, Freddy, scar Vampire chick, good to see you guys are alive." Lance put and arm around Todd, "Thanks for rescuing us." Lance let a small tremor for effect.

"Uh, Lance we were going to save you guys buy ..." Marcy began.

"I understand, too many skeletons. Hey Arcade glad to see that you got away." Lance smiled at the geek, "Thanks for saving the people who risked their lives for you."

"Uh..." Arcade tried to say something until Wanda walked up behind him, "Let's go." Wanda glared at her pathetic housemates, "I'll punish you at home."

"Uhh..." Todd and Good Fred grew very pale at that idea.

"I am so glad I don't live with you." Marcy muttered.

Lance checked the trunk of the jeep and said, "Wanda, before we get home we need to grab some more duct tape, we only have one or two rolls left."

"Fine, but we get them on the American side of the border." Wanda walked over to the jeep, "Wake me when we get back to shore."

"Duct tape?" The three doomed Brotherhood boys whispered in fear.

"Where's my brother?" Wanda asked.

"He didn't come back." Arcade braved an answer, surprisingly he wasn't smitten by Wanda for bearing bad news.

"That is regrettable for him." Wanda said simply, trying to fall asleep in the jeep.

"How very sad." Lance was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Creepy," Arcade muttered.

"God save our souls, do not let Wanda eat them." Good Fred sent a hushed prayer.

--------------------

**Brotherhood house.**

"EVERYONE FRONT AND CENTER!" Wanda screamed the moment she entered the door, everyone but Marcy obeyed, Marcy just ran to her home where she was promptly grounded by her dad.

"Lance please tape them." Wanda ordered.

"HA he can't catch me!" Todd laughed hoping onto the roof.

"Wanda?" Lance asked.

"Got them." Waving her hands, Wanda pushed the three guys up against a wall with her hexes.

"HEY!" Arcade yelled, only to get a piece of duct tape placed across his mouth by Lance. After gagging them, Lance wrapped cocoons of duct tape around them and then got a ladder out so he could attach them to the ceiling. The only one not placed on the ceiling was Good Fred, who was placed in a chair to protect the structural integrity of the building.

"Now we wait for my brother." Wanda said sitting down to watch TV, "We really need to get some more light bulbs."

Lance collapsed on the couch beside her, "Want some dinner?"

"We don't have any food." Wanda muttered.

"I took Arcade's wallet." Lance said, holding up said liberated artifact.

"Okay." Wanda grabbed the wallet from Lance, despite Arcade's muffled protests. The two mutants left, just missing Pietro as he entered.

"Hey, what are guys doing up there?" Pietro paused seeing Arcade and Todd stuck to the ceiling.

"MARPH!" Arcade tried to scream.

"Let me guess, Wanda?" Pietro asked. Arcade managed to nod. Pietro sighed, "Hold on, I'll get you guys down. I don't know if I should be glad my sister is alive or not." Pietro removed the duct tape at super speed, which was very painful for the people it was stuck to.

"AHHH!" Todd and Arcade fell from the ceiling, no longer held up by miracle tape.

"Where is my sister?" Pietro asked.

"Lance and her went somewhere to get dinner, we don't have any food." Arcade said, rubbing his head, "Thanks for letting me down gently."

"Hey, you are alive!" Pietro noticed that Arcade was not a skeleton.

"No $!& Sherlock." Arcade muttered.

'DING DONG!' The doorbell rang. Todd hoped off, "YO, I GOT IT!"

Todd opened the door, without looking he said, "We ain't buying anything, yo."

"Clickity click." A representative of an entire skeleton platoon clicked its teeth.

"YO, HELP!" Todd slammed the door screaming.

"Did the girl scouts bring mace?" Pietro asked, "I knew they were getting too pushy."

"BUY SOME PEANUT BUTTER ONES!" Good Fred yelled to Todd.

"IT ISN'T GIRL SCOUTS!" Todd hoped into the room screaming, "THE SKELETONS FOLLOWED US!"

"Goodbye." Pietro made a rapid strategic withdrawal out the back door. He was blocked by several skeletons. The various secret passages that Mystique had installed where also blocked, not that the boys knew about any of them.

"What are we going to do?" Arcade asked, his voice raising one or two octaves.

"Le'me-think.Le'me-think.Le'me-think.Le'me-think.Le'me-think.Le'me-think..." Pietro rubbed his head a super speed.

"How did Lance and Wanda get away from them?" Arcade asked.

"Yo, probably Wanda's magic." Todd muttered.

"Toad." Good Fred and Pietro said in unison.

"What?" Todd blinked, cleaning an ear.

"I know you have stolen at least one of Wanda's spell books..." Pietro began.

"Yo, I an steal nothing. I resent being treated like a thief, yo." Todd said.

"SHUT UP!" Pietro yelled, "Just get her spell book, and Lance's Magic For Dummy's book."

"Lance has a magic book?" Arcade asked.

"Before he and his Kit Kat started dating, he tried to bewitch her to fall in love with him." Pietro explained.

"Well it worked." Arcade laughed.

"Not really," Pietro said, "He hit Logan instead."

"Scary claws guy?" Arcade paled at the thought.

"Oh yeah." Pietro laughed, he then saw Todd wasn't moving, "TOAD GET THE BOOKS!" Todd slowly hoped away, "Nevermingyourtooslow." Pietro ran past Todd, knocking him into the wall, to retrieve the books.

"Okay,-I'm-back.-Let's-see.-The-Dummy-Book-says-that-you-need-to-be-sure-to-pronounce-the-Latin-right-in-order-to-not-have-the-spell-back-fire-on-you." Pietro rambled, "Right-what's-the-spell?"

"Try under 'skeletons.'" Good Fred suggested.

"You understood him?" Arcade asked.

"You get use to it." Good Fred shrugged.

"Right,-here-we-go. Wait-that's-a-spell-to-make-skeletons..." Pietro read both books in a few seconds, "WHAT-NOT-ONE-USEFUL-SPELL? Oh-lookie-a-love-spell."

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT NOW!" Arcade waved a hand at a skeleton trying to break a window, "Good thing they don't have muscles, or they would be able to hit harder."

"Okay, this is useless." Pietro tossed the books, "Plus we don't even have hexes to help. Who's stupid idea was that?"

"Yours." Arcade muttered.

"Was not. I would never have such a stupid idea." Pietro said.

"Fine what is your idea?" Arcade asked.

"Give Toad a bath, and throw the dirty water on them." Pietro said.

"WHAT!" Todd screamed.

"NOT IT!" Good Fred and Arcade yelled.

"$!" Pietro swore. He grabbed Todd and carried he at super speed to the bathroom, not bothering to take Todd's clothes off before chucking him in stagnant water that had been sitting in the tub since breakfast the day before. Pietro sped back downstairs, "We wait a few minutes and take the water to the roof and dump it."

"Right." Arcade muttered, "NOT IT!" This time Good Fred was the one not to say anything.

"Not fair." Good Fred muttered, going to get the tub, he had to rip it from the wall, messing up the screwed up plumbing. He preceded to head to the roof, "TASTE RAIN! DEMONS!" Good Fred shouted throwing the water in a wide arc covering half the street.

"HOLY WATER!" In one of the cases where the vocal-cord-less skeletons managed to talk, the skeletons shouted.

"Holy?" Arcade asked Pietro.

"Remember their brains are rotted away." Pietro tried to make a logical connection.

"I hate baths." Todd grumbled coming back from the bathroom, "At least we no longer have a tub."

"Uh, I only got half of them." Good Fred came back downstairs, "Did you know that they have bows and arrows? Glad I am impenetrable."

"Oh no..." Arcade said, he jumped to the side, similar to James Bond, as a large amount of arrows burst through their windows reminiscent of bullets.

"NOT GOOD!" Pietro got pinned to a wall, making him even more useless.

"SAVE YOUR SELVES!" Todd yelled, he was pinned behind Pietro.

"FREDDY! TACKLE THEM!" Arcade yelled. Good Fred began to cut a path through the crowd, Arcade followed closely to avoid the skeletons.

"WANDA SAVE ME!" Pietro screamed.

--------------------

**Fancy Fast Food Restaurant**

"This is just what I need after escaping from the undead hoards." Lance sighed, enjoying the rare silence of the closed down restaurant (the owners didn't want to tell Wanda to leave).

"Yeah. Do you think Pietro's home for us to tape up?" Wanda asked devouring another burger.

"Maybe, he might be at some girls house being beat up by an angry dad." Lance replied, "Lets give him another hour."

"The wait staff here is terrible." Wanda muttered looking in her drink.

"This is a fast food restaurant." Lance said.

"So?" Wanda asked, Wanda turned to face a poor staff who were not being paid overtime, "YOU THERE! COME FILL MY DRINK!"

"Wanda be nice." Lance scolded.

"Please..." Wanda growled to the person filling her cup, her voice not making it seem very nice to the worker who drew the short straw.

"I'm full, should we head back and see if Toad has candy in him?" Lance asked, "I have a new aluminum bat."

"I don't feel like using a bat today. Maybe a chair..." Wanda muttered, Good Fred ran past the restaurant. Wanda stared and asked, "Was the Freddy?" Arcade ran past with skeletons chasing him, Wanda continued to stare, "And Arcade?"

"Yes." Lance stared, "We should rescue them."

"Do we have to?" Wanda begged, "I just got a refill."

"You can finish first." Lance shrugged, "They can wait."

Wanda slowly drank her coke before speaking, "Okay, I'm finished."

"Right, remember that spell?" Lance asked.

"Yes, but why do I have to do all the work?" Wanda asked.

"Because my powers don't do much to anything that can heal itself, and the others are pathetic." Lance explained.

"So bury them in the ground so they are trapped." Wanda said.

Lance slapped his forehead, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"The drugs have gone to your head." Wanda explained.

"Oh yeah, should we get a move on it?" Lance accepted that answer.

"Might as well, if we don't then they will complain about being hurt." Wanda sighed, "It's not like we aren't going to hurt them ourselves."

Lance waited a few minutes as neither made a move to the door before he spoke, "When should we start helping?"

"The silence is nice, I just want enjoy it for a few seconds." Wanda said, Good Fred and Arcade ran by the window again, the skeletons in hot pursuit.

"It is nice." Lance sipped his coke examining the empty restaurant, "How's school going for you." He attempted to make small talk.

"I don't really pay that much attention, I just hex my pencil to make it do the work." Wanda shrugged.

"I threaten geeks." Lance said, "Or have Kitty help me. She's beautiful when she chews her pencil. I like how she nibbles on the eraser. For her that is all it is good for, as she doesn't ever have to erase anything."

"I don't really care about Kitty's secret to weight loss." Wanda muttered.

"Speaking of weight loss, I hear he cooking is getting better." Lance commented.

"So it only bounces ten times instead of twenty when she drops it?" Wanda joked.

"No, fifteen. Still it's getting better, almost edible now. That's what Kurt says. He only spent a week in the infirmary last time." Lance said, not scared in the slightest by the fact that Kitty was banned from several grocery stores (for her own protection, of course).(A/N:1)

"I think they need our help now." Lance commented, as Arcade was thrown against a brick wall by several 'muscular' skeletons.

Wanda watched Good Fred burst from a dog vile of bones, only to buried again, "Yeah we should help now." Wanda sighed, not moving.

"We're lazy aren't we." Lance pointed out.

"Laziness is a factor of evolution and intelligence." Wanda said.

"How so?" Lance asked.

"Let me illustrate: Ugg and Ogg are two cavemen -or women, but considering gender stereotypes of prehistoric periods, it is unlikely. That and the names are masculine, but who knows how cavemen names work- ..." Wanda explained "... both of these men, or women, need to move pile of rocks. Ugg is a strong lad, or lass, so he, or she, doesn't mind moving them by hand. Now Ogg is lazy and want to watch his, or hers, cave paintings. So he, or she, invents the wheel barrel. This invention allows him, or her, to finish his, or her, rock moving effort in very little time. Whilst strong Ugg becomes exhausted by the work and collapses, later to be eaten by a ravenous pterodactyl. Now Ogg gets to reproduce and breed a world of lazy bums."

"You've been listening to your dad's lectures on evolution haven't you?" Lance asked.

"Back when I was brainwashed." Wanda shrugged, "I didn't know any better."

"SAVE ME!" Arcade screamed. When I say shortly before I mean he was touching the window, but his wind hadn't been knocked out of him yet.

"Fine we can take a hint." Lance begrudgingly got up to save his housemates.

"DISCEDERE MALUM! DISCEDERE MALUM! DISCEDERE MALUM!" Wanda ran out of the restaurant screaming over and over again while she shot hexes every which way. Skeletons flew away in showers of splintered bones.

"ARRAH!" Lance stomped his foot, opening a crevasse beneath a group of skeletons. The skeletons fell down due to gravity and were sealed in a new grave until the Apocalypse, where their souls would be released. Kind of sad for the skeletons as they would be trapped unable to move for quite awhile.

Battling on for a few minutes Wanda managed to save Arcade and Good Fred, Lance did a little, but earthquakes can't quite match improbability. "HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BRING THE SKELETONS HERE!" Wanda screamed at the cowering boys.

"We, didn't, Pietro came home and let us down. Then they showed up. We got away, but Pietro and Toad are still there, possible being eaten as we speak!" Arcade rambled, his speed matching Pietro.

"Oh, no loss then." Wanda shrugged, "Just Toad and my brother being killed."

"WANDA!" Arcade shouted, "I have only been with you guys a few weeks, but I know that we are a family. You went off to save me, surely you can save your twin."

"What about Toad?" Good Fred asked.

"Oh right, him." Arcade noticed that he had forgotten to mention saving Todd, "We can save him too."

"So, are we going back home?" Lance asked.

"Fine." Wanda sighed, Good Fred and Arcade running off.

Lance waited a moment before speaking, "Might want to start now..."

"I guess." Wanda sighed, getting into the hippie jeep that the two others hadn't noticed.

--------------------

**Brotherhood Boarding House**

"WHERE IS THE SCARLET SORCERESS!" A general skeleton yelled in a tied up Pietro's face.

"I told you, it is Scarlet WITCH! And I don't know." Pietro muttered, "Now release me this instant, I need to fix my hair."

"I WILL RELEASE YOU ONCE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE SKELETONS!" The general yelled, bone chips replacing the saliva that should have been flying from his mouth.

"While I do need to go on a diet, I prefer a complexion that isn't yellowish. Perhaps if you had some way to prevent bones from gaining that gross yellow tint..." Pietro started to ramble.

"Are we getting answers from the Frog Child?" The general groaned.

"Hold on." A skeleton said, picking up the rotting remains of the last questioner, who had attempted Chinese water torture, "Note to everyone: no watering the frog."

Good Fred ran through the door when he arrived at the house shouting, "Release them!"

"WHAT HE SAID!" Arcade followed, carrying a pipe.

"Pathetic." Wanda followed at a calm and collected pace, "Hand over the sacks of slime."

"HEY ONLY TOAD'S A SACK OF SLIME!" Pietro yelled.

"No you are too." Wanda said, her voice saying 'do not question me.' Wanda then proceeded to show what her powers could do to bones, without killing the skeletons. For beings without a nervous system or vocal cords, skeletons can scream loudly when they get tied in knots.

"STRATEGICAL WITHDRAWAL!" The general yelled, a common term for humiliating retreat.

"This just keeps getting easier and easier." Wanda said, "Guess I needed to think about my plan of attack more before attacking."

"Wanda, we still aren't done." Lance smiled, picking up a half used roll of duct tape.

"Right you are." Wanda smiled, her smiling is a very creepy sight. Especially when she is bearing her fangs at you.

"Eep." Pietro wet himself, right before he failed to run away.

--------------------

**Two hours later**

"That was fun." Lance stared up at his handy work. Everyone, even Good Fred (he was over the garage, just in case), was on the roof outside. Various permanent marker drawings adorned their faces. Good Fred's head was shave. Pietro's hair was dyed punk green. Todd had multiple car fresheners fastened to his body. Arcade was suffering from Technology Withdrawal. (A/N:2)

"GOOD NIGHT SLEEP TIGHT!" Wanda yelled at the boys, laughing as she went to her room.

"DON'T FREEZER FALL OFF!" Lance went to his room, turning on soothing loud rock music, to allow the buildings vibrations to give the roof dwellers a massage.

--------------------

**Parts Unknown, Ocean near Asia**

"Okay, so I wade into the water and wait for some turtles, then I rope them with my hair..." Jamie #3 muttered to himself as he stood in the water, "J-ROD I HATE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN! AND I AM IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN NOT THE ATLANTIC OCEAN! BESIDES YOU HAVE THE WHOLE TIME LINE BACKWARDS!"

--------------------

**Nevada Desert, 90 miles north of Area 51.**

"WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY GENETIC ADVANCER?" Magneto screamed.

"Not my fault, this baby eats metal." Mystique said calmly.

"IT MAY EAT METAL BUT HOW DID YOU EAT THE METAL?" Magneto screamed on the verge of tears as Sabertooth laughed from his litter box.

"I am a shape shifter." Mystique pointed out with the tone of voice that said 'idiot.'

"Man, I can't believe you slept with her," Sabertooth finished his business and walked out with a dirty newspaper under his arm.

"So did you." Magneto muttered before re-locking himself in the kitchen. An awkward silence fell between the other two.

"Soooo Raven, what are you doing about that whole school thing?" Sabertooth asked trying to fill the silence.

"Taking a break till this kid gets born and I can dump it with some dumb Germans, or Russians, maybe some French Tourists... Whatever." Mystique muttered, "Then I get back to convincing Pyro to join the Brotherhood so that we can have him on our side. He is essential to our plans once Magneto's current plans go south."

"I thought he has a girlfriend now?" Sabertooth pointed out, "He won't want to switch."

"I think I can change his mind," Mystique laughed turning into a fat Amara. Noticing the baby bulge she changed back, "After I give birth."

"Oookay ... creepy ... and that's coming from me." Sabertooth muttered, "What's the name going to be?"

"I'm thinking of naming it Dolorinclunes." Mystique said.

"I would hate to have to spell that in Kindergarten, Victor was hard enough. Don't get me started on Creed... What does it mean?"

"Pain in the butt." Mystique went off to contemplate how she could avoid messing this kid's life up. Her ideas involved hard core military training from a young age.

--------------------

_**End**_

_Author Notes:_

_1: You know that someone somewhere has thought of restricting her access to ingredients. What with the recent restrictions in dangerous substances due to terrorism, it was only a matter of time._

_2: Technology Withdrawal is similar to me without a computer. Poor Arcade._

_PLEASE review._


	22. Sept 15, Time to Party

_Disclaimer: Please see any other disclaimer on this site._

**September 15 - Friday - Time to Party**

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood house**

For once Wanda woke up feeling refreshed, torturing people always makes her sleep soundly. Lance also got a good nights sleep, as he didn't have Pietro making him turn off the music. Wanda met Lance in the hallway outside their rooms, she smiled at him before asking, "Want to leave them up there all day?"

"Sure, I am still ticked at them for abandoning us." Lance grinned evilly, "I wonder if we have a hose around here..."

"Why?" Wanda asked.

"To give them a shower." Lance laughed heading to the garage.

Wanda followed, "I don't think we have a hose, we have never cleaned the outside walls before."

"If we don't have one, we can steal one after school. It's just that Pietro likes his showers in the morning." Lance managed to find one that had holes in it.

"Yes, he is very adamant about what time he has his showers." Wanda groaned as they went out the garage door, "To bad today he has to wait."

"LET US DOWN!" Pietro screamed, awake.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Good Fred shouted.

"Must. get. computer..." Arcade was twitching and foaming at the mouth, "Evil. grues. taped. me... Kill. Lance. Kill. Wanda."

Wanda stared at the roof, "I think we should let Arcade down."

"For my own safety, no" Lance said. The two that were free left for school, just as the phone rang."

"This is the 'hood, yo." Todd's recording on the machine played.

"THAT IS NOT OUR RECORDING!" Lance's voice shouted, a guitar rift signaling that he used his powers. "This is Lance, if your Kitty please press..."

"Shut up lover boy." Wanda's voice came, "Why do we need a recording, we never get any calls."

"Hello, this is the charming and handsome Pietro. If your name starts with A or B or C, press one. If it starts with D or E or F press two. NO WANDA NOT THE EAR! AHHH! LET GO! LEGGO!" Pietro faded from the answering machine.

"If your the pizza guy and can't find our house, it is the big pink one." Good Fred's voice said.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Mystique's voice yelled, "Sorry, if you want to leave a message do so after the beep." the machine beeped.

"Hey this is Mysty." 'Mysty' said into her phone near Las Vegas, "Arcade I have to cancel our date for Duncan's party. I am preg... At a funeral. My great great aunt died. And there is a bunch of legal stuff because of what they found in her house." with a click 'Mysty' hung up.

**--------------------**

**First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter**

**with Wanda, Tabitha, Rouge, and Rahne**

"Hey where were you yesterday?" Tabitha sat by Wanda.

"Getting Pizza." Wanda grunted, "Never trust Toad's girlfriend."

"Aren't you Toad's girlfriend?" Tabitha asked.

"Do you want to die?" Wanda's eye twitched as she threatened Tabitha.

"Why aren't you? That tongue has potential." Tabitha laughed.

"So wrong." Wanda groaned, turning green. Luckily the green was covered by makeup. Wanda preceded to try and avoid Tabitha by sitting by Rogue. To prevent Tabitha from chasing Wanda, the Teacher began to teach, as only an underpaid public school teacher can.

"Where's Mysty?" Rahne asked suddenly half way through the lesson, "She wasn't here Wednesday, or Thursday either."

"At a funeral." The teacher sighed.

"I heard a rumor that she was pregnant." A student said, that started a string of gossip.

"Forget it." The teacher put her chalk down and gave up teaching.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Roof**

"I SPY anyone?" Arcade asked the bored teens.

"I'll start." Pietro announced, happy to have something to do, "I spy with my little eye ... something blue."

"Sky." Todd said, "I spy with my little eye ... Great there aren't any clouds, and I can't see the sun from this angle. I see something blue."

"Sky." Everyone sighed.

In an effort to stave off the boredom of the teens up stairs, the phone rang. "This is the 'hood, yo." Todd's voice played again.

"THAT IS NOT OUR RECORDING!" Lance's shout had followed, his powers making a weird noise. "This is Lance, if your Kitty please press..."

"Shut up lover boy." Wanda's voice came, a sense of deja'vu falling on everyone, "Why do we need a recording, we never get any calls."

"Hello, this is the charming and handsome Pietro. If your name starts with A or B or C, press one. If it starts with D or E or F press two. NO WANDA NOT THE EAR! AHHH! LET GO! LEGGO!" Pietro's recording was silenced by Wanda.

"If your the pizza guy and can't find our house, it is the big pink one." Good Fred had said.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Mystique's had yelled, "Sorry, if you want to leave a message do so after the beep." the machine ended with a beep.

"Hey Toad, this is Marcy." Marcy the Vampire spoke into her borrowed cellphone, "I can't be around you for awhile. My life insurance went up because of you. Bye." She hung up, and returned her phone to the spoiled six year old, who really does not need a cellphone.

"Life insurance? Isn't she dead?" Arcade asked, his only response were attempts at shrugs.

**--------------------**

**First Period, AP Statistics, Mr. Halif**

**with Lance, Kitty, and Kurt**

"LANCE WHERE WERE YOU THE PAST TWO DAYS?" Kitty squealed, tackling Lance the moment he entered the room.

"We went to Canada, and Arcade got lost." Lance groaned.

"Ahh poor Arcade." Kitty cooed, "Did he get hurt?"

"No, me and Wanda made sure not to hurt him too bad." Lance said.

"WHAT?" Kitty picked up on the implied 'I hurt him' and shouted.

"Well he did leave us to get eaten by ... err ... skeletons." Lance realized how that sounded.

"Skeletons?" Kitty raised her eyebrows in a question, "Did you hit your head?"

"Several times. Why?" Lance said.

"No reason." Kitty sighed.

"You might want that checked." Kurt told Lance, having overheard them.

"Why?" Lance asked again.

"No reason." Kurt sighed.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Roof**

"Truth or dare?" Arcade asked.

"How are we suppose to do dares, while we are tied up?" Pietro popped a hole in that idea.

"Good point." Arcade sighed.

**--------------------**

**Second Lunch**

**with Evil Fred, Wanda, Tabitha, Elizabeth, Rogue, Amara, St.John, Kurt, Ray, and Amanda**

"Where is my mortal enemy?" Evil Fred cornered Wanda.

"Probably starving." Wanda laughed at the thought of Good Fred still on the roof, without food.

"That is funny." Evil Fred laughed, "But evil."

"Rogue." Wanda escaped and sat down beside Rogue.

"SHUT UP PYRO!" Amara's shout came across the cafeteria.

"What's with them?" Wanda asked.

"Something about burning her clothes." Ray laughed, "While they were still on her."

"That's funny." Wanda chuckled, "Did she get hurt?"

"No. Fire doesn't hurt her." Ray laughed.

"To bad, that would have been ironic. Fire chick getting burned, literally." Wanda watched St.John and Amara argue and make up. "I wonder if I hexed her while he was burning her clothes..."

"BLUE!" Tabitha cornered Kurt before Amanda dragged him away.

"Tabitha." Kurt gulped, "Do you need something?"

"Are you going with Amanda to Duncan's party?" Tabitha asked.

"Yes." Kurt said cautious.

"Drat!" Tabitha muttered.

"Aren't you going with Ray?" Kurt asked.

"Only if someone better didn't come up." Tabitha said casually waving a hand and walking away with her dance-like walk.

"What is it with every mutant going to an anti-mutant's party?" Wanda asked Rogue.

"I don't know." Rogue sighed, "I don't do parties."

"Neither do I," Wanda said.

"Hey wanna catch that monster movie night that's on TV tonight?" Rogue suggested an alternate to the party.

"Sure, we just stole a new TV." Wanda laughed, "We can watch at the Brotherhood house."

"You know I haven't been in there in forever... At least not since I was brainwashed that one time." Rogue muttered, "I wonder what my old room looks like..."

"I live in it now." Wanda said.

"Oh." Rogue pouted, it is crushing to realize that your room no longer is the same. Especially when you used the room to get away from hormonal frog like housemates.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Roof**

"I hate Lance and Wanda." Arcade muttered.

"I hate them too, we should hurt them." Pietro muttered.

"How do we hurt Wanda?" Good Fred asked intelligently.

"Shut. Up. Freddy." Pietro said slowly, angry to see that logic.

"I love my sugar cakes." Todd said.

"I THOUGHT YOU HAD THAT VAMPIRE!" Arcade yelled at Todd.

"I have a lot of love." Todd sighed, "I wonder if they like each other."

"SO WRONG!"

"THAT'S MY SISTER!"

"MY VIRGIN EARS!" Various Brotherhood members yelled.

**--------------------**

**Third Lunch**

**with Lance, Piotr, Kitty, Rahne, Jubilee, Bobby, Roberto, and Sam**

"So what was the bet?" Lance asked Kitty.

"You'll see." Kitty sighed, "Why did I bet against someone who can use all five limbs in Foosball?"

"Because you're an idiot." Rahne sat beside Kitty.

"Hey Rahne!" Roberto ran over to the three, "Do you have a date for Duncan's party?"

"Yup, Warren. How lucky am I? Very rich, very hansom, very angelic, very hot." Rahne laughed at her luck.

"WHY IS IT NO ONE WANTS TO GO WITH ME!" Roberto yelled, "I AM A HOT ATHLETE!"

"Thermally yes, appearance wise, no." Jubilee insulted Roberto as she walked up.

"PLEASE GO WITH ME!" Roberto begged throwing himself in front of the next girl to walk by the table.

"GET AWAY FROM ME FREAK!" The girl screamed.

"Great a mutant hater." Roberto sighed.

"I don't hate mutants. You're just a freak." The girl said, promptly leaving.

"I hate girls." Roberto cursed under his breath.

"So you are finally leaving the closet?" Lance joked, "Pietro will be so glad."

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" Roberto yelled.

"That was mean Lance." Kitty scolded her boyfriend.

"I know." Lance sighed.

"Hello Kitty." Piotr walked over to the table carrying a plate to rival Good and Evil Fred.

"Hey Piotr." Kitty smiled at her, batting her eyelashes, while at he same time scooting over so she was practically on Lance. All of this made Piotr's eye twitch ever so slightly.

"How are you?" Piotr asked politely. Lance placed a protective arm around Kitty.

"Good, you?" Kitty ignored Lance and his protective efforts.

"I ... have been better." Piotr answered honestly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Kitty pouted, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Piotr sat across from them.

**--------------------**

**Parking Lot**

"I HATE HATE HATE PETER!" Lance's speech quickly reduced itself to a bunch of curses when Wanda arrived to drive him home.

"Kitty problems?" Wanda asked, her evil smile ever present.

"YES! I WAS SITTING BY HER AT LUNCH AND SHE IGNORED ME FOR THAT PEDOPHILE!" Lance fumed.

"Pedophile?" Wanda asked.

"Kitty is under 18, he is over. He is a pedophile." Lance said.

"What about that fountain of youth?" Wanda asked.

Lance glared at her, "That only works for St.John, he has the mind of a kid. Peter doesn't; he is 'mature.'"

Wanda sighed, "Just remember what is important."

"That she is going with me to the party?" Lance asked.

"No. That you can bury Peter in the center of the earth." Wanda said, her tone of voice carrying the 'duh' expression, "Come on, let's get a hose to give the others a shower." Wanda climbed into the jeep, Lance followed her lead.

**--------------------**

**Flor Mart**

"I say we get the extra long hose." Wanda held up a hose.

"We don't need one that long, this shorter one will do." Lance held up a much shorter hose, "And it is cheaper."

"We're stealing them, price doesn't matter." Wanda pointed out.

"Oh right, in that case let's get both." Lance grabbed the two hoses and started heading towards the loading bay at the back of the store."Distract everyone." Lance called back to Wanda.

"Let's see. How do I want to distract people?" Wanda looked around the store, "Outdoor grill section? ... too obvious. Toy section? ... too cliche. Heavy machinery? ... Why the hell does this store have that? Power tools? ... has some potential. Indoor Gut Bomb? ... I think I did that to an ice cream place already. Clothing department? ... I do like a challenge." Wanda smiled and headed to the clothes.

"How do I want to do this?" Wanda muttered, "Ohh, dressing rooms." Wanda made her hand sigh as she sent a hex. All the stalls fell over, 'security' cameras and all.

"AHH...HHH!" It was hard for Wanda, or anyone for that matter, to tell where one scream ended, and another began.

Wanda cleaned out an ear once the screaming stopped, "Lance should be out by now-" Wanda cut herself off when she saw Lance staring at the girls section of the dressing room. Wanda glared at him and screamed, "LANCE!" obviously he ran, wouldn't you run if Wanda screamed at you?

**--------------------**

**Flor Mart Parking lot**

"You sir, are a pervert." Wanda announced when she met Lance buy the Jeep.

"You're the one who decided to hex open the changing rooms." Lance pointed out.

Wanda glared at that, before muttering under her breath, "I did not stare."

"You didn't look because there weren't any guys." Lance laughed.

"Oh, you checked the guy's section also?" Wanda asked jokily.

"I ... uh ..." Lance blinked, unsure if she was joking or not.

"I'll let my brother know," Wanda smiled evilly, "And Kitty."

"NO!" Lance screamed.

"Let's go give Toad a shower." Wanda smiled, double checking that Lance had stored the hoses.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood House**

"Do you hear a car?" A slightly delirious Good Fred asked the others.

"Yes?" Arcade gasped through his dry throat, "Help!"

"Louder," Pietro said weakly, "they can't hear."

"They stopped." Todd muttered, "We are saved."

"It's them." Arcade announced, him being the only one who could see Lance and Wanda climb from the jeep.

"Oh no." Todd moaned; Pietro used stronger words.

"HEY GUYS THIRSTY?" Lance yelled, too cheerful for the trapped member's comfort.

"AND HUNGRY!" Good Fred didn't notice the implied warning in his voice.

"Hook the hose up." Lance told Wanda quietly.

"You do it." Wanda said, insulted that he would have her do the physical work.

"Why me?" Lance asked.

"Because I can hex you up with them." Wanda said, ending the argument.

"Your logic stuns me." Lance muttered angrily, hooking up the longer hose. Twisting the knob on, the water shot out faster than normal, thanks to a well placed hex by Wanda.

Aiming the hose up towards the roof, Lance placed a finger over the hole, increasing the pressure further. "Who first?" Lance asked, currently just washing away years of dirt from below the hostages.

"Pietro." Wanda ordered.

"On it." Lance adjusted the hose so he was hitting Pietro.

"STOP IT!" Pietro screamed, "MY HAIR! MY MAKE UP! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT...STOPIT!"

"Now, Toad." Wanda said, once all the dirt around Pietro was gone.

"Okay." Lance aimed it at Todd, causing large amounts of corrosive green slime the flow down the roof, leaving a trail without any paint.

"We didn't think that out so well." Wanda said, shocked by the effects of the slime on the paint. "Next time I hex above our neighbors house first."

"Why them?" Lance asked, trying hard to wash to area around Todd, least it burn through the roof.

"I hate their roof's color. Yellow of all things." Wanda shuddered, "I hate neon yellow."

"Okay now who?" Lance finally got rid of all the junk around Todd.

"Arcade." Wanda said, "He caused this all."

"NOOO-OWWWWWWWWW!" Arcade screamed, several of his gadgets shorting out from the water and giving him a minor shock.

"And that is why you never carry an illegal computer hacking system on your person." Lance said. (A/N:1)

"What kind of person even has one of those?" Wanda asked, taking enough pity to hex the gadgets away from Arcade to save his life.

"Lastly, Freddy." Lance switched targets again.

"THANK YOU I WAS THIRSTY!" Good Fred yelled, drinking the water.

"Not the purpose of this whole thing." Lance muttered.

"That's about it." Wanda said, the roof almost clean and the Brotherhood members having learned their lesson. Waving her arms, Wanda hexed a large amount of gardening tools from the neighbors, cutting the bonds of her victims.

"YEAAAH!" Arcade screamed falling to the ground, saved by improbable odds. Todd managed to stick to the roof, and graciously jump down. Pietro was too mortified by his hair to screamed, and due to very probable odds, hit the ground extremely hard.

Good Fred bounced, causing a minor earthquake that the X-men attributed to Lance. This earthquake caused Scott the throw a rock in anger (at the thought of Lance using his powers for evil), accidentally striking his car. That made Scott have a minor break down. Which Jean was all too willing to comfort him over.

"What have you guys learned?" Wanda asked the dazed boys.

"That you are a cruel heartless person who doesn't understand the complexities of my hair care?" Pietro asked.

"You're cute when you're angry?" Todd suggested.

"Don't piss you off?" Arcade groaned.

"Arcade is the closest," Wanda groaned, "But I wanted more specific. Don't abandon me. I have minor abandonment issues."

"I didn't notice." Arcade quipped.

**--------------------**

**Inside**

"WANDA WE NEED A NEW BATHTUB!" Pietro screamed.

"LANCE JUST GAVE YOU GUYS A SHOWER!" Wanda answered from the kitchen, she was trying to make food evolve from nothing, by using her hexing powers.

"Did you know how unlikely it is for something to spontaneously generate life?" Wanda asked angrily, finally giving up on getting a snack.

"Yup." Lance said, not paying much attention and just killing time by watching TV.

"Go steal me a snack." Wanda ordered Todd the moment he came to bug her after he had changed into dry and dirty clothes.

"Sure my sweet." Todd left.

"What happened to Marcy?" Wanda groaned.

"I think she might have called to talk about her life insurance going up because of being around us." Lance shrugged.

"She's dead." Wanda pointed out.

"So?" Lance asked.

"How do you qualify for life insurance if you are dead?" Wanda explained the problem to Lance slowly.

"She's scamming the system. Collecting money from the evil insurance companies." Lance said, "I use to have several fake identities I used in a similar way. To bad the insurance providers found out. They seem to notice when you collect on the same person several times..."

"... That. is. pathetic ..." Wanda said slowly, to make sure that Lance understood what she thought about that scam.

"Where's the food?" Good Fred whinnied checking every container and corner in the house.

"Go steal some if you're hungry." Wanda sighed.

"#$!" Lance cursed when he checked his watch, "I have a date with Kitty at five." He ran off to his room to get ready.

"It's only four? It takes ten minutes to drive there." Wanda muttered to herself, "Why is he getting ready now?"

"He takes a long to time to get ready for his Kitty Kat." Good Fred laughed, leaving to get food from some neighbors who weren't in town.

"Whatever." Wanda groaned, collapsing in front of the TV using hexes to flip channels, "Oh look Nascar, I hope the wall wins."

**--------------------**

**Forty-five Minutes Later**

"I CAN'T GET MY HAIR PERFECT FOR KITTY!" Lance's shouts were heard throughout the house.

"WHO CARES?" Wanda yelled back, completely engrossed with the news, it was reporting a massive forty-two car accident.

"I CAN'T FIX MY HAIR FOR MY DATE - what's her name? - EITHER!" Pietro yelled.

"AGAIN WHO CARES?" Wanda yelled back.

"Wanda," Lance walked slowly down the stairs, is voice betraying that he wanted to ask for something, "Can you hex my hair into place? I really need to leave and get Kitty."

Wanda's resulting glare slowly melting into a smile. A very evil demonic, I-will-torture-you-till-you're-within-grasping-distance-of-death smile. "Of course Lance." Wanda hexed his hair, turning it bright pink. "Better hurry, take the jeep, don't want to be late for Kitty."

"Thanks you're the best." Lance hugged her, nearly dieing in the process. He then ran off to the jeep.

"See ya, I'm going to Duncan's party. They have free food." Good Fred said, leaving almost right after he finished pilfering the neighbor's now food-less home.

"I'll stay with you sugar plum." Todd said, crouching on the arm of her chair.

"FRED TAKE TOAD WITH YOU!" Wanda yelled at Good Fred's back, a hex carrying Todd to Good Fred.

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

'Ding dong.' Lance rang the intercom

"ALVERS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? And pink hair?" Scott shouted when he saw the security cam's image. He then repeated himself, except about the hair, after remembering to turn the intercom on.

"You girlfriend was possessed by a psychotic alien and destroyed our house. I am joining you." Lance said, surprisingly with a straight face.

"Har har." Scott mocked, "Why are you really here?"

"Me and Kitty have a date a Duncan's party." Lance replied truthfully.

'Why is it that every mutant is going to a mutant hater's party?' Scott asked himself in his head, he then turned the intercom back on, "Is that why Kitty was so sad about losing her bet?"

"What was the bet?" Lance asked.

"Oh you should see this." Scott laughed, he turned off the intercom and shouted into the house, "HEY IS EVERYTHING READY!"

"Almost," Bobby muttered, entering the room, and cleaning out a ear from the shout, "Rogue just finished phase two."

"So only twenty more phases left?" Scott asked.

"Yup. This is funny." Bobby confirmed, "Never bet against someone who can control all four limbs, plus a tail, in a game of Foosball."

"Now I find out." Jubilee came in waving her hands above her head, "Why didn't anyone tell me before hand?"

"It won't be that bad." Bobby reassured her.

"I DID NOT WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU! I WANTED TO ASK WARREN!" Jubilee shouted.

"Wait, you two made bets on Kitty and Kurt's game also?" Scott asked.

"Yeah why?" Bobby asked.

"Cause that is how I got Jean to go with me so I can rub it in Duncan's face." Scott said.

"That is just creepy." Tabitha laughed coming in, "That's how I got Ray. That and a lil' Boom-Boom magic."

"Anyone who didn't use a bet to get a date?" Scott asked.

"Kitty and Lance." Bobby said.

"No, Kitty wouldn't leave the house after this unless it was part of the bet." Jubilee said.

"Amara and John." Bobby tried another couple.

"I think John is kidnapping Amara so she will go after that fight..." Jubilee trailed off when said Kidnapper walked by the security room with a coil of rope, and some duct tape.

"Sam and that Elizabeth girl." Bobby tried again.

"Sam has this southern boy charm that I would take if he didn't have a date." Tabitha laughed, "Any girl or gay guy would snatch him."

"I wouldn't." Jubilee said.

"You're weird." Tabitha said.

"Okay, I know Warren's only going with Rahne for the chance to say he scored a younger girl. How about Jamie, he has no date so he couldn't have used underhanded techniques." Bobby said defusing Tabitha and Jubilee's fight.

"He got these triplets from his school." Jubilee said, "I helped him pick out three Tuxes."

"Okay taking three girls does not count as a date." Bobby said, "A date is one girl only."

"Chivalry is not dead apparently." Tabitha laughed, "No offense Frosty, but Chivalry only works for southern boys like Sam, or foreigners."

"Kurt and Amanda, no tricks there." Bobby finally found an honest couple.

"Hello I'm waiting." Lance broke in over the intercom, having not heard a single bit of that conversation.

"Come in, don't steal anything." Scott said.

"Drat." Todd cursed in the Jeep, "I was going to get sugar plum an new silverware set."

"Should we tell Lance about his hair?" Good Fred asked as said pink haired freak walked to the mansion, "And shouldn't we just drive up the driveway."

"It's Lance. Once he get within a hundred feet of Kitty he stops thinking. Even if by thinking he would know to drive a car to get to Kitty faster." Todd laughed.

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion Entrance Hall**

"Why can't I go up and see Kitty?" Lance asked, surrounded by many X-men.

"Because I'll chop your head off if you step one foot into her room." Logan growled, three claws emphasizing why Lance should obey him.

"Riiight." Lance said, an octave too high.

"She's ready!" Rogue laughed, yes laughed, coming down the stairs.

"Did it just drop a few degrees?" Lance asked, shivering.

"Hell just froze over." Kurt muttered.

"KITTY GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" Rogue yelled behind her.

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Was the reply.

"IT WAS PART OF THE BET!" Rogue yelled back.

"I AM LIKE SO TOTALLY GOING TO SWITCH YOUR WHITE HAIR DYE FOR PINK DYE!"

"THESE ARE NATURAL!"

"THEN I WILL SWITCH YOUR SHAMPOO SO THAT THEY TURN PINK!"

"Uh Lance you know you have pink hair right." Kurt told Lance.

"WHAT!" Lance grabbed his head, "THAT WITCH! SHE SAID SHE FIXED MY HAIR! NOT MAKE IT PINK!"

"I will kill her. I will take her gloves in shove it down her throat. Boil her liver and feed it to a cat. Then I will cut out her eyes and jelly them to give to Kurt." Kitty walked down muttering under her breath, "Then I will slowly peel off her skin while she is still alive. I will take the skin scraps and make a new leather jacket, in pink." Kitty was decked out in Rogue's wardrobe, including half her make up.

"Kitty?" Lance stared, "Nice skirt."

"IT IS ROGUE'S!" Kitty yelled.

"Oh, Rogue has good taste." Lance said.

"WHAT?" Rogue, Kitty, Kurt yelled.

"YOU'RE CHECKING OUT MY SISTER?" Kurt yelled.

"YOU'RE CHECKING ME OUT?" Rogue yelled louder.

"He right." Logan muttered, safe in the knowledge that Lance soon would not be in capacity to do anything.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE LOOKING AT ROGUE!" Kitty screamed, "Nice hair by the way."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH LOOKING AT ME?" Rogue asked.

"Nothing, you just aren't that err... you aren't his type..." Kitty covered.

"I'm not am I?" Rogue asked, "Let's see." Walking over to Lance she cornered him, and kissed him, he smiled then fainted. Smirking she turned back to Kitty, "He seemed to enjoy that."

"HE FAINTED!" Kitty yelled rushing to Lance's side, "NOW I DON'T HAVE A DATE!"

"Oh he'll be fine in a few minutes." Rogue rolled her eyes, "God he has creepy dreams." Rogue started to walk away and then paused, her face slowly getting an angry expression, turning around she walked to an awaking Lance, and stepped on his anatomy. "That is for last week's dream."

"Mommy..." Lance groaned.

"YOU DREAMED ABOUT MY SISTER?" Kurt inferred from what had transpired.

"No I di-AHH!" Lance cut off when Kurt appeared in front of him.

"Down, Kurt, he didn't dream about me." Rogue said.

"Oh right then." Kurt teleported away.

"What was the dream?" Kitty asked.

"Nothing." Lance stood up, grabbed her arm, and ran.

"WHAT WAS IT!" Kitty squealed while being dragged.

"Nothing." Lance replied.

"Where's Jean, I need to make sure she is actually going with me." Scott mumbled, deciding not to talk about what just happened, because frankly he has no idea what is wrong with Lance saying Rogue has good taste, no matter how messed up that taste is.

**--------------------**

**Duncan's Driveway.**

"Are you going to tell me your dream?" Kitty asked.

"No." Lance mumbled.

"Why did you bring them." Kitty asked, her head almost out the window, trying to avoid Todd's smell.

"Because Wanda kicked Toad out, and Freddy needs food." Lance shrugged, "Plus I kind of lost my temper yesterday so I owe them."

"At least Pietro isn't here." Kitty sighed, "Let's go in." The group got up to party.

"The party has arrived, yo." Todd said bouncing in the door.

"Want to dance?" Lance asked Kitty.

"Not dressed like this." Kitty mumbled, "Why did I bet against Kurt of all people?"

"Because he doesn't seem evil like that?" Lance suggested.

"That must be it. Evil Catholics, you never can trust them." Kitty mumbled.

"How many Catholics do you know?" Lance asked.

"Fine then, evil demon looking Catholics, you never can trust them." Kitty muttered, "I see a plant, I am standing behind it."

"How do you think I feel with this hair?" Lance followed her, "Never trust Goths, especially ones that are evil."

Several hours later, everyone else had arrived. Scott was annoying Duncan. Duncan was wondering why the hell mutants were there. Tabitha had worn out Ray and was dancing with anyone who was willing to pretend to move. Warren was ignoring Rahne. Jamie's various clones were dancing with the Triplets. Elizabeth was ignoring Sam. Warren was in deep conversation with Elizabeth. Sam was drunkenly crying on Rahne's shoulder. Rahne was confused. Pietro was hitting on every single girl, and most non-single girls. Everyone else were rapidly approaching the legal limit from drinking the free spiked punch.

"My Betsy is with thha angel." Sam mumbled into Rahne's shoulder.

"This is the first date, and you are already attached to her?" Rahne asked, promising herself she was not going to touch another glass of punch.

"I thoo zzzzzzzzz." Sam feel asleep in a very awkward position.

"I wonder what Logan's going to do when he finds out you are drunk?" Rahne muttered darkly.

"Hey Toad boy." Duncan found Todd by the punch table and decided to kick the mutants out, "Leave."

"Why?" Todd slurred.

"It is my house." Duncan said.

"So? never stopped me before." Todd slurred.

"WHAT?" Duncan screamed.

"I always break in." Todd said.

"Just get out." Duncan sighed.

"Where will I go?" Todd asked, drunk enough to take advice from Duncan.

"Las Vegas, I don't care." Duncan picked a random major city where Todd would hopefully get mugged.

"Okay." Todd smiled, his drunk mind thinking it was a game. He left for the air port, pausing by a rich restaurant to steal some cash from a few coats.

"Come on Lance, let's leave." Kitty finally got fed up with hiding, she physically dragged Lance through a wall and to his Jeep.

"WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS?" Lance yelled slightly from the shock of finding himself outside.

"They can hop or walk." Kitty shrugged.

**--------------------**

**Different Room at the Party.**

"... And that is why I am drinking the punch even though I know it is spiked and Logan will kill me." Roberto finished spilling his heart and soul to a table full of people who don't care.

"I suddenly feel better about myself." A girl said, gaining a burst of insight into herself, "Roberto was it?" Roberto nodded, "If you are that sad go on a road trip. That is what I do. Don't come back until your friends come and drag your drunken butt home."

"I can't -hic- drive." Roberto hiccuped.

"So? Never stopped me." The girl laughed, "I once made it to California before anyone noticed I was gone."

"Amara will -hic- notice I am gone." Roberto hiccuped again.

"That one in the duct tape cocoon, trying to maim her drunk date?" The girl asked.

"Yes, she cares about me." Roberto sighed.

"Whatever." The girl left to smoke a few more joints and live her fantasies out by reading books and confusing what she has done with stories she has read.

"Where should I run off to?" Roberto slurred his speech as he talked to himself, before deciding to follow a certain Frog.

**--------------------**

**Dance Floor**

"You dance pretty well for someone with giant wings." Elizabeth laughed, dancing with Warren.

"Thank you." Warren smiled.

"I hate them." Rahne muttered from the side, holding a unconscious Sam, "For a country boy you can't handle much alcohol."

"Mommy, I don't want to eat the beans, they keep moving." Sam muttered.

"There is something wrong with you." Rahne sighed, "Just listening to your dreams has taught me more than I wanted to know about the farm."

"I am going to kill that purple haired freak for taking my date." Rahne turned her attention away from a snoring Sam to the dance floor, "Why do the rich guys always go for the European brats? Heck Moir Island is part of Europe. At least an island off of an island... But still."

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Living Room**

"I bet it is the butler." Rogue tried to figure out the plot to the current horror movie.

"There is no butler." Wanda pointed out.

"They maid?" Rogue guessed.

"No maid." Wanda showed the flaw in that theory.

"Wife?" Rogue tried again.

"He was single..." And Wanda popped a hole in that theory also.

"Mistress?" Rogue was running out of ideas.

"..and he was gay." Wanda continued her previous counter-point, further preventing Rogue's guesses.

"What is the guy equivalent to a Mistress?" Rogue asked.

"Uh?" Wanda blinked, "I don't know, I guess there isn't. Must be because society as a whole is sexist. They don't realize girls like entertainment as much as guys."

"I can't touch, so I don't." Rogue muttered.

"Touche." Wanda laughed.

**--------------------**

**Arcade's Room**

"She dumped me after saying yes?" Arcade moaned, staring at a wall, "Why? I know that, that funeral was an excuse. All girls say that. Then you find them sucking a lucky boy's soul out through his mouth. I WANT MY SOUL SUCKED OUT BY A GIRL!"

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Living Room**

Both girls stared up towards Arcade's room. "You're up Rogue." Wanda said.

"I am not going up there with him. If he wants to lose his soul he can get another girl." Rogue said, turning the movie up louder.

**--------------------**

**Driving around in Lance's Jeep**

"Why can't we go to the institute? Or the Brotherhood house?" Lance asked.

"Because, part of the bet was I would stay out for several hours dressed like this." Kitty mumbled, "Rogue is at your house, and Logan will tell Rogue if I go home."

"Want to go to a restaurant?" Lance asked.

"Not dressed like this." Kitty mumbled.

"So we are going to drive around until we run out of gas?" Lance asked.

"No, when we get low you will buy more gas." Kitty said.

"Right, silly me." Lance grumbled, seeing a gas station with its inflated prices.

**--------------------**

**Duncan's Party**

"Is all the food gone already?" Good Fred asked, most party goers had already left.

"Get out." Duncan ordered, tired of the mutants and others.

"It's only eleven?" A tipsy Rahne said.

"Out." Duncan pointed at the door, "Who invited you guys anyway?"

"Uh... I don't really know." Rahne tried to pick up Sam, "He is heavy. Hey Freddy! Help me here?"

"Sure." Good Fred casually tossed Sam over his shoulder, "This guy can't handle alcohol can he?"

"OUT YOU TWO!" Duncan yelled at Elizabeth and Warren.

"I am going to kill that purple hair freak." Rahne muttered, making sure Good Fred didn't bang Sam up too much.

"So how are you getting home?" Good Fred tried to start a casual conversation.

"Scott and Jean are driving... Where are they?" Rahne asked noticing that they were no where to be found.

"Where's Lance? He is driving me and Toad. Where's Toad?" Good Fred noticed his friends were gone.

"They ditched us." Rahne sighed, sitting down as the other mutants collected around her and Good Fred.

"Where would those two go?" Jubilee asked after Rahne told them that they had been ditched.

"Hey Kurt wanna go to the new Italian restaurant?" Amanda asked Kurt.

"Sure." Kurt grabbed her hand and teleported away.

"Now we have been officially ditched." Tabitha muttered.

"When Kurt ditches you, it is bad." Bobby muttered darkly.

"Who wants to raid a restaurant?" Good Fred asked.

"ME!" Everyone but the unconscious Sam and Jamie yelled.

"Sorry I gotta get my dates home." Several Jamies said at once, each wrapping an arm around a date and walking off..

"I hate Jamie right now." Ray muttered.

"Shut up Ray. You couldn't even keep up with me." Tabitha scoffed.

"You're evil, I bet his dates aren't." Ray muttered, losing his pants in a freak explosion. "TABITHA!"

"Pink tightie whities? Or should that be tightie pinkies?" Tabitha snickered.

"Don't make fun, you put that dye in my laundry." Ray muttered.

"You still wear tightie whities though." Tabitha laughed, "Let's go." She left, pausing only to tell Good Fred to pick Sam up.

"LET ME OUT OF THIS DUCT TAPE!" Amara yelled at St.John

"Okay, you just had to ask." St.John laughed, "I thought you liked that costume.

"I WOULD HAVE ASKED BEFORE! IF IT HADN'T TAKEN ME TILL NOW TO MELT THE TAPE OFF MY MOUTH!" Amara yelled.

"Okay dookay" St.John melted the rest of the tape off Amara.

"I liked that shirt." Amara sighed, jogging to catch up with the others who were leaving her and St.John behind.

**--------------------**

**Inside Duncan's**

"LEAVE!" Duncan yelled at a dancing Pietro.

"Can't touch this." Pietro taunted, running across the room.

"MUTIE! LEAVE!" Duncan yelled.

"No." Pietro laughed, rushing around upstairs to Duncan's Mom's bedroom, several loud expensive sounding crashes followed him.

"That was not my mom's jewelery box was it?" Duncan groaned, running up stairs to find his mom's impractical glass box broken on the floor, several diamonds missing, or blending in with the glass.

"HAHAHA!" Pietro laughed, plugging up every drain and breaking the faucets so they would continue to spew water.

"WHERE ARE YOUR DATES?" Duncan yelled, wishing for someone to take Pietro off his hands.

"They couldn't keep up." Pietro laughed, moving all the food from Duncan's house to the brotherhood house in a few seconds.

"LEAVE!" Duncan tried to grab him again.

"Fine, I see I'm not wanted here." Pietro finally left, pausing at Duncan's Dad's new car on his way out.

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

"OWW OWW MY EAR!" Scott screamed, being dragged by Jean into the Mansion.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU WHERE RUBBING ME IN DUNCAN'S FACE!" Jean continued to drag Scott, "I AM NOT GOING TO ANOTHER PARTY WITH YOU FOR A WHILE!"

"YOU LEFT THE OTHERS AT THE PARTY!" Scott yelled, hoping that would spark some responsibility, which would hopefully make Jean free his ear.

"Oops." Jean blushed, releasing Scott, "I better go get them."

"Thank God." Scott moaned, rubbing his ear.

"How was the party?" Piotr asked, walking down to hopefully meet Kitty, he was disappointed.

"We forgot the others." Scott muttered, rubbing his ear.

"You might want to get them." Piotr said, "They cause trouble easily."

"We know." Scott and Jean said at once, both having flashbacks to hundreds of incidents where they have wanted to kill one of the others.

**--------------------**

**Ice Cream Shop**

"Where do you want him?" Good Fred asked the Mutants.

"Toss him in a chair." Tabitha said, pointing to said sitting device.

"Why is he the only one who got drunk?" Rahne asked, adjusting him so he was propped up on his arms.

"He's the only one dumb enough to drink punch when a bottle of vodka is sitting beside it?" Tabitha laughed.

"I think he knew it was spiked and just didn't care." Rahne said, "That pink haired freak was being a jerk. She took Warren from me."

"Careful, you're starting to match your green shirt." Tabitha laughed, "My date would never treat me like that." She went over to Ray and dragged him from where he was flirting with Amara, to St.John obvious hatred.

"THE DATE'S OVER!" Ray yelped.

"So?" Tabitha laughed, "I just like seeing you squirm."

"I want a rocky road, with some vanilla and strawberry..." Good Fred had stopped listening to the X-men the moment he sat Sam down.

"Do you have any colder ice cream?" Bobby asked another server.

"No." That sever muttered, "All we have is standard frozen ice cream."

"Great, even my friends are ignoring me." Rahne sighed.

**--------------------**

**Duncan's House**

"Where are they?" Jean asked Piotr and Scott, she had dragged both of them along.

"Maybe they decided to walk home?" Piotr suggested.

"Them? They are probably causing another lawsuit." Scott scoffed.

"I'm sure there are some level heads in that group." Piotr stated.

"No, not really." Scott laughed, "Okay, Kitty is with Lance, doing who knows what... I will kill him ... Rogue is with Wanda, I really don't want to know who they are killing ... Everyone else is causing trouble."

"I doubt that ..." Piotr began.

"No they are." Jean sighed, "Ever hear about their joy rides?"

"Yes, they have taken me on a few." Piotr said, "They are fun."

"Okay..." Jean blinked.

"Let's find them." Scott said, dragging the other two in a random direction, away from the direction the majority of the others took.

**--------------------**

**Lance's Jeep**

"Okay, it is safe for you to take me home." Kitty finally told Lance.

"FINALLY!" Lance whooped.

"What, don't you like spending time with me?" Kitty pouted.

"Not when we are wasting gas." Lance said, turning around 180 degrees, at a speed to rival Kitty.

"I couldn't let anyone see me like this." Kitty waved her hands at Rogue's black skirt and green top, "I look like... I don't like know what I look like." The two of them drove in silence till they reached the mansion.

"Hey where are the others?" Logan asked Kitty the moment the two of them entered the front door.

"Aren't they coming home with Jean and Scott?" Kitty asked.

"Yeah, I saw those two for a minute, then they left again. For some reason they took Peter with them." Logan said.

"I have found them, for once they are not causing trouble." Xavier sighed rolling into the hallway, "Sam is unconscious due to spiked punch .. apparently no one warned him, at least from what I can sense." Xavier rubbed his head, "Roberto is for some reason in Las Vegas."

"Wow your range has sure improved." Logan commented, "It use to be you couldn't sense that far."

"I can't, Forge has used several cloned stem cells from me to create a telepathic brain which we placed in Cerebro." Xavier said.

"You cloned yourself and killed it for the brain?" Lance asked, starting to question Xavier's sanity.

"No we only made a brain, no body. And it isn't intelligent." Xavier reassured Lance, "Also Todd appears to be Roberto. Cerebro for some reason thinks they are drunk and dancing on a bar..."

"God no." Lance moaned, the thought of Todd on a bar being to much.

"Logan, would you please call the students on their cell phones, I think we should collect Roberto a quickly as possible." Xavier said, "Lance, if the brotherhood wishes to come to get your member, you may."

"Thanks ... Uh does Cerebro know where Freddy is? He is probably the only one that cares about Toad." Lance said, knowing that Wanda would celebrate Todd's disappearance, Pietro wouldn't care, and Arcade was probably still in his room.

"Fredrick is with the younger students ..." Xavier held his hands to his head "... And I have a feeling that I am going to have to hire another lawyer." He was able to sense the food fight that the New Mutants had just started a few seconds ago over who was a better singer. So far Tabitha was in the lead with three direct hits on the other contestants, double points for using strawberry ice cream.

**--------------------**

**New and Improved X-Jet**

After many attempts to find everyone a group of mutants took off for Las Vegas. In the end only Lance, Good Fred, Bobby, Rahne, Jamie, Tabitha, Amara, Ray (to make fun of Roberto), Sam, St.John, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Kitty, and the X-Adults managed to get in the plane and take off.

"I hate flying." Lance groaned.

"Here want a double cheese and chili hot-dog?" Good Fred offered said gut wrenching food to an already queasy Lance. Lance ran to the bathroom.

"Good job Blob," Bobby said, "Try to make him throw up."

"Food always calms my stomach." Good Fred defended.

"No comment." Bobby sighed, "How much longer Logan?"

"WE'LL BE THERE WHEN WE GET THERE!" Logan yelled back, "Damn kids, it is hard enough to fly straight with all the weight without their yakking."

"We'll get there at dawn." Storm told the passengers calmly.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood house**

"There there Arcade." Rogue tried to comfort Arcade, "I'm sure someone really died and she isn't lying to you."

"Creepy." Wanda moaned, "Where are the others the party should have ended by now." Flicking through the news Wanda found evidence of Pietro on a station talking about Kelly's bad luck, from Principal, to Senatorial Candidate, to Principal, to Vandalism Victim.

"Hey, anyone asks, I moved to Alaska, bye." Pietro ran inside.

"I bet he drank the sugar without adding it to the punch first." Wanda sighed, glancing at Rogue and Arcade.

**--------------------**

**Nevada Desert, 90 miles north of Area 51.**

"I HAVE DONE IT!" Magneto laughed, raising his abomination above his head, "I HAVE MADE THE ULTIMATE MACHINE!" Sabertooth slammed the door to the kitchen open, hitting Magneto and knocking the machine from his hands.

"NOOOOO!" Magneto didn't remember to use his powers, so the machine shattered on the cold hard metal floor, "GET OUT SABERTOOTH!"

"Fine fine fine." Sabertooth left, running into Mystique, "Hey. Wait don't you have a date with a highschooler today?"

"I can't go like this." Mystique pointed at her stomach, "I told him there was a death in the family."

Magneto burst from the kitchen growling, "You two, make yourselves useful, go train the New Acolytes."

"I can't train like this." Mystique pointed at her tummy, "The only benefit of being pregnant."

"FINE YOU TRAIN THEM BY YOURSELF!" Magneto yelled at Sabertooth, "YOU" he rounded back to his wife, "GO FIGURE OUT HOW NOT TO MESS THIS KID UP!"

"As parents our track records aren't that bad." Mystique defended.

"Together we have one kid who still obeys us. AND SHE IS HALF BRAINWASHED!" Magneto yelled.

"One out of God knows how many isn't that bad." Mystique shrugged.

"One of mine, you have succeeded with none of yours." Magneto growled. "GO!" He yelled. Sabertooth ran when the metal floor started to form ripples in itself. Mystique wasn't far behind.

"What's with dad?" A green haired girl asked when she passed Mystique and Sabertooth in the hall.

"No clue, now get to the training room, grab the others." Sabertooth ordered, "I want to torture... er play with... er train you guys."

"I hate it here, why can't I move back with my aunt?" Lorna muttered trying to find the other new recruits, "It was safer, and more hygienic." She muttered finding one of the recruits playing a neighbor's missing cat.

"Hey, rat-brains. Time to train." Lorn spoke to the boy.

"I hate that name." The boy muttered.

"Then pick a code name, I got Polaris, you have nothing yet." Lorn said.

"I don't see why I can't just use my real name." The boy muttered.

"It's too human." Lorn said.

"So?" The boy asked.

"Shut up and suit up, I think I hear Sabertooth growling." Lorna said, and sure enough Sabertooth was growling from waiting.

"He scares me. I wonder if my powers will work on him? He is pretty much an animal..." The boy said.

"He scares us all." Lorna laughed uneasily, hearing a louder growl, "As for the powers, if you ever work them out I will pay you a lot of money."

"Do you know where the others are?" Lorna asked.

"Don't know. They might have gone into town." The boy shrugged, putting a thoroughly screwed up cat outside. "Best not keep the witty kitty waiting all alone." He made fun of Sabertooth, only to turn around when he heard a low growl right behind him.

"See ya later Zoo Boy." Lorna ran away quickly.

"Hey Victor, I got a meal for you outside." The boy tried to bribe Sabertooth, "I know how you like cats..."

"Gym. Now." Sabertooth growled, leaving to track down the rest of the New Acolytes who had left for Sin City.

"I should not have listened to Magnutty." The boy muttered, then he obeyed the large, hairy, and scary man.

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"Really a rock star?" An Acolyte asked a wannabe rocker she was in the process of seducing.

"Oh yeah, I just released an album." The rocker lied.

Over in the corner a younger Acolyte was arguing with another one about the trench coat she was wearing. "Why do I have to wear this?"

"People wouldn't like to see your wings." The older one explained.

"So, I could of stayed at the base with that weird kid." She said, "I feel like a criminal in this."

"You would rather spend time with that kid, the one who has reduced the neighborhood population of cats by half, instead of watching Angel Dust beat up the creepy people for hitting on her?" The guy laughed as said team mate did just that.

"It is better than anything on TV since Mystique installed that content blocker." The girl admitted, "Hey who's that?" She pointed at a drunk Roberto, "He doesn't look old enough to drink."

**--------------------**

**Parts Unknown, Ocean near Asia**

"...and that is why I am going to America." Jamie #3 explained to several Japanese cargo ship crew members."

"彼が言っていることを理解する?" One Crew Member asked in Japanese, which considering that it is a Japanese cargo ship isn't that surprising. And which according to the Almighty Google, translates to 'Do you understand what he is saying?'

"いいえ." Another one replied. Which, again, according to the Magnificent Google, translates to 'No.'

**--------------------**

**End**

_Coming up next: Will the lost mutants be found. Will Magneto ever finish his machine? Will Sabertooth find the New Acolytes? Will Lorna break through her half-brainwashing? Will that boy's powers work on Sabertooth? Will the world be destroyed? Will anyone notice how many times I used 'will?' I will try to work on it during vacation, but might not be able to. I hate the beach._

_Author Notes:_

_1: Why did Arcade bring a obviously questionibly legal hacking system to a party at the institute?_

_I recently found a useful site that lists a bunch of canon mutants and their powers. I will be pulling a few random ones from that for the New Acolytes. Their backgrounds and personalities will be completely different and messed up._

_PLEASE review._


	23. Sept 16, Viva la Las Vegas

**Disclaimer: Please see any other disclaimer on this site.**

**September 16 - Saturday - Viva la Las Vegas**

**--------------------**

**Playground at David Cox Elementary School in Henderson Nevada.(A/N: 1)**

"I thought they were in Las Vegas?" Good Fred asked as they landed outside of Las Vegas.

"They are," Logan sighed, not wanting to explain again, "But the isn't anywhere to land unnoticed there."

"Oh, right." Good Fred said, leaving the X-Jet.

"Okay, let's go get them." Scott said, entering leader mode.

"I have one question," Lance said looking at Scott, "Why are you the only one in a uniform? We are going to collect two run aways, not battle Magneto."

"Shut up." Scott said, "I am treating this professionally, we have no clue what may happen."

"Course we don't, for all we know Magneto might actually be there planning to destroy the world." Bobby joked, "I bet he brought another child also."

"SEE! Even Bobby understands my concern." Scott said, not noticing Bobby's tone.

"Scott, get in civilian clothes." Logan groaned walking out of the jet, once he had made sure it was all turned off.

"DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT WE MIGHT BE FACING AN UNKNOWN ENEMY?" Scott yelled.

"Scott." Jean warned.

"I'm going, I'm going." Scott sighed, re-entering the jet to change.

"I better go help him." Jean said, starting to follow, only to be stopped by Xavier.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood House**

"My leg has fallen asleep." Rogue muttered, looking at Arcade.

"You're the one who wanted to comfort him in his time of need." Wanda said, eating breakfast while Rogue was trapped, unable to get food, because of Arcade.

"I understand the whole not having a date thing." Rogue sighed.

"Whatever, where are the others?" Wanda just realized only Pietro had come home.

"Why hasn't Logan come to my rescue?" Rogue realized that Logan hasn't slicing up the door to prevent Pietro from trying to take advantage of her.

"No mommy, I promise I won't hack into NASA's computers again." Arcade mumbled in his sleep, "You can tell the nice man in black I won't mention Roswell to anyone."

"..." Both girls stared at the unconscious hacker.

"Should we tell anyone?" Rogue asked.

"We don't even know if it was a memory or a dream." Wanda muttered.

"Can't you make him hack into the computers again?" Rogue asked, considering waking up Arcade.

"We do have that computer downstairs... it is slightly creepy though." Wanda said.

"Okay." Rogue said, dumping Arcade to the floor to wake him up, "UP!"

"AHH! I'M AWAKE! I DIDN'T CHANGE THE GRADES! I PLEAD THE FIFTH! THE ALIENS MADE ME DO IT!" Arcade screamed.

"Shut up." Wanda sighed, "I want you to hack into NASA's computers."

"Err, why?" Arcade asked.

"I want to know about Roswell." Wanda said.

"Again, why?" Arcade asked.

"You were talking in your sleep." Wanda said.

"Oh, again?" Arcade asked.

"Again?" Wanda asked for clarification.

"Yeah, I talk in my sleep a lot. I guess you can't hear from your room." Arcade shrugged.

"Whatever, just go downstairs and hack into NASA." Wanda ordered.

"What about breakfast?" Arcade asked.

"Just go." Wanda ordered.

"Hey, at least let him eat. I am hungry too." Rogue said.

"Fine, eat, then hack." Wanda sighed, she decided to eat another breakfast.

**--------------------**

**Henderson**

"Great idea X-Idiots," Lance grumbled, "Having 16 people try and hitch a ride all at once."

"Shut up." Logan grunted, "You're not coming up with any ideas."

"Here's one, Xavier uses his big fat wallet to by us fare." Lance said.

"I don't carry a wallet." Xavier mumbled, "I use credit cards for everything, "Buses don't take cards."

"Then find an ATM." Good Fred suggested.

"Did Freddy just have a good idea?" Lance asked.

"Yes." Jean blinked, "I might want to rethink Scott."

"HEY!" Scott yelled.

"SCORE!" Good Fred yelled.

"Disturbing." Everyone else yelled. After much running around like chickens without their heads, they finally found a ATM to roll the Professor to, Xavier did not run around.

"Okay, uhh ... How much is bus fare?" Xavier asked.

"Read the mind of that bus driver." Lance waved an arm at a bus.

"That wouldn't be right." Xavier said.

"Who cares?" Lance and Logan asked, both immediately creeped out by having the same thought.

"Fine." Xavier sighed, he read the mind of the bus driver, causing the driver to believe a ghost was talking to him, prompting a visit to a shrink after recking the bus. "Fifty cents a person." Xavier withdrew the needed amount, and mentally ordered a student to roll him towards the bus stop. They had wait for a new bus, because the one that Xavier had read the mind of the driver had already left, and then recked.

"You know, I have never ridden a bus." Xavier said.

"Really?" Lance asked.

"Yes, never." Xavier said, "I wonder if I will meet interesting people."

"This is near Las Vegas, you will." Lance reassured him.

"Why am I not reassured?" Xavier sighed. As Logan lifted him onto a bus that had just pulled up. He was greeted by the sight of several overly pierced youth, and several things which can not be described in this chapter or story.

**--------------------**

**Pietro's Room**

"No Cindy, I haven't made any other plans." Pietro said to his phone, "What do you mean your name isn't Cindy?" Pietro looked at the phone, he then realized he was on line two not line one, "Hold on wrong line, sorry."

Pietro switched lines. "No Cindy, I haven't made any other plans." He repeated. "Oh this isn't Cindy either?"

Pietro tried to switch to line three but ended up making it conference call, instead of private, "No Cindy, I haven't made any other plans." He was immediately assaulted by several angry girl's high pitched yells.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood House**

"Okay, see, just some weird aliens trying to take over the world." Arcade pointed at the classified documents on Marvin the Computer's screen.

"That is pretty boring," Wanda muttered, "Hey can you hack a bank with this thing?"

"Yeah why?" Arcade asked.

"Well, I've been wanting to buy this new trench coat, but it is pretty costly." Wanda explained.

"So steal it." Arcade said.

"It is an Internet only thing." Wanda quickly opened a new tab in the browser to a adult role play orientated site.

"My virgin eyes." Arcade moaned seeing advertisements. The coat itself wasn't bad, the banner ads on the page were.

"Shut up." Wanda tabbed back over to the NASA intranet site, "Do your thing."

"Most people will notice that much money vanishing." Arcade mumbled.

"So just steal half a cent from several thousand people." Wanda shrugged.

"Salami slicing?" Arcade asked.

"What's that?" Rogue asked, looking over Arcade's shoulder.

"Where you take a small amount of money from several people. It is really easy to..." Arcade trailed off when he noticed the raised eyebrows he was getting, "Not that I've done it before."

"Whatever, do it." Wanda spun him back so he was facing the computer, "Commit a felon, Arcade."

"Why does everyone tell me that?" Arcade muttered, doing what Wanda told him to.

"Can you buy me a motorcycle doing that?" Rogue asked, "I have my eye on this hot green bike..." Rogue opened a new tab to a store's website.

"Fine whatever." Arcade sighed, feeling used. "Okay, you have a bike being delivered to the institute."

"Why couldn't you just ask Professor Xavier to buy you one?" Wanda asked.

"Something he said about not trusting me after I entered a race using Logan's bike." Rogue said, "That and I think Logan threatened him."

**--------------------**

**Bar/Casio in Las Vegas**

"It is too early for him to be drunk." The girl, Megan Gwynn, said to her friend, Everett Thomas. They were talking about Roberto who had managed to convince the bar tender he was over twenty-one.

"That guy is a dud." Laurie Collins told the two, after finding out that the guy wasn't really a rock star.

"Duh." Everett mocked her, "Hey Megan how's Christine doing beating up her suitors?"

Megan glanced over at the crazed scar faced woman, "She's doing pretty well. Only in Las Vegas would people go after someone with so many scars."

"Vodka." Christine walked over to the group at the bar and ordered, before turning to the other Acolytes, "Why do people always hit on me in this city? back in New York I was ignored?"

"People go after freaks here." Everett said without thinking.

"Freak?" Christine asked, her powers activating from her anger making the scars on her face more pronounced, and allowing her to accidentally break her glass of Vodka with her fist.

"I think I will go find Tom." Megan said getting up.

"No luck Pixie." Laurie sighed, "Zealot's in the casino hall. For some reason they card us for the gambling room, but not for a bar." (A/N:2)

"I'm still getting away from them." Megan pointed at Christine and Everett who were rapidly approaching a fight, without Everett realizing it.

"Let's go talk to them." Laurie said, dragging Megan to Roberto and Todd. Todd was trying to convince the bar tender that he was old enough. It wasn't working.

"I old am." Todd slurred.

"Water." Laurie slide up beside Roberto and turned her pheromones on, "So, nice place huh?" It didn't matter that she sucked at small talk, her powers made up for it.

"Great drag me off so you can flirt with another guy." Megan grumbled, adjusting her over sized trench coat.

"Hey you have to learn how to flirt sometime." Laurie laughed, "Try it on that green guy." Roberto wasn't really paying attention to her words so that entire, slightly insulting, conversation about him being used as teaching material was lost on him.

"But he stinks." Megan complained smell Todd.

"That's the bar." Laurie laughed, not noticing the smell was slightly worse around Todd.

"He's green." Megan brought up another point.

"And you have rainbow wings and pink hair. What's your point." Laurie asked, turning back to Roberto, who was growing sad looking at her back.

"Good point." Megan sighed, she turned to Todd, "So what's your name?"

"Todd, people call me Toad." Todd said, not being affected by mutant powers he could actually talk back to his tormentor.

"Are you a mutant?" Megan asked, not realizing that that is a bad way to flirt with a guy.

"Are you --hic-- a member of the Friends of Humanity?" Todd asked.

"No." Megan said, waving the alcohol breath from her face.

"Then no." Todd said turning to an annoyed bartender, "I am twenty-two."

"How old are you?" Megan asked, knowing that he was lying.

"Fourteen." Todd responded, to which the bartender rolled his eyes, leaving them. "COME BACK! I AM THIRSTY!" The bartender handed Todd a glass of water and told him it was Vodka. Todd bought it.

"How much have you had to drink?" Megan asked.

"I don't know." Todd muttered, gulping it down.

"Okay..." Megan glanced at Laurie to see if she was ready to go, she wasn't, "I'm going back over to Everette, maybe convince Angel Dust not to kill him."

"Okay, whatever." Laurie waved an arm, not caring, "... So no one went with you to a party?"

"Ya --hic-- yes." Roberto said.

**--------------------**

**Bus**

"The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round..." Good Fred sang with several impaired riders.

"Control Blob, Lance." Scott ordered Lance.

"You control him." Lance snapped, covering his ears, "I hate this song."

"BLOB SHUT UP!" Scott tried to control Good Fred, he was punched. Hard.

"Oww." Scott groaned.

"That is why I didn't control him." Lance laughed.

"They're crazy aren't they?" Jamie asked St.John softly.

"Heck yeah mate." St.John laughed, "PUNCH HIM AGAIN MATE!"

"Huh?" Good Fred finished his song, then punched Scott again.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Scott yelped.

"Fire boy told me to." Good Fred said.

"I hate public transportation." Xavier sighed.

"Don't worry Charles, we are almost there." Storm tried to reassure him.

"Yes, we are. I sense them in that casino." Xavier said, "Ask the driver to stop."

"You're closer to the pull cord." Storm said. Xavier was sitting by the window.

"I can't reach it." Xavier said, trying to grab the cord.

"Here." Storm leaned across Xavier and pulled the cord.

"Thank you Ororo." Xavier said, slightly stunned.

'Students ... and Brotherhood ... we have arrived at our stop.' Xavier telepathically told everyone.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood House**

"This is fun." Wanda chuckled after Arcade bought yet another thing with stolen money.

"It is." Rogue agreed.

"I feel used." Arcade muttered, "That's probably enough, don't want the police to see." Bother girls agreed and they left the basement.

"Sure leave me down here alone. I see how it is." Marvin the depressed computer muttered, "My left side RAM card hurts."

"What do you want to do?" Wanda asked the two others once they got upstairs.

"I think I should see why no one has come looking for me." Rogue said, glancing at a clock, "It is late."

"It's not even one yet." Arcade pointed.

"I've been here since last night." Rogue muttered.

"That is a long time." Arcade agreed, "I hated last night, Mysty dumped me. For a funeral of all excuses. I doubt that is a real excuse."

"Ugg, stop complaining." Rogue groaned.

"We'll come with you." Wanda said, "If Lance is still out, he likely was killed by Wolverine for doing something stupid."

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas Casino/Bar**

"There they are." Lance said, the group of rescuers scanning the bar.

"Finally." Scott muttered, heading over to Roberto.

"Hmm, look at shades." Laurie muttered, she had given up on getting Roberto out of his depression, and was back with the others. She was also nursing Everette's hurt arm. Everette had learned never to insult Christine.

"He's to old for you." Thomas Moreau pointed out. He had just been kicked out of the gambling hall.

"I like older guys." Laurie laughed.

"If you ever try to use your powers on me I will bury you in a crater." Thomas muttered, he turned around to the other exit and saw Sabretooth enter, "SHIT! Kitty cat is here. We have to hide."

"WHAT?" Christine cursed under her breath.

"I thought you guys said that Magneto was giving us the day off?" Megan asked innocently.

"We lied." Everette mumbled.

"WOLVERINE!" Sabretooth saw Logan before he saw the missing Acolytes.

"Logan?" Roberto asked.

"SABRETOOTH!" Every X-man and the two sober Brotherhood boys shouted.

"Freddy?" Todd hiccuped.

"Aren't those the X-men that we are suppose to be enemies with?" Megan asked the other Acolytes.

"Yes, hey so is that Brazilian boy Laurie was flirting with." Christine laughed at Laurie, who was embarrassed for not noticing that she was seducing an enemy.

"THERE YOU GUYS ARE!" Lorna burst through the door, and ran up to the Acolytes, "Better run. Sabretooth is coming and he is pissed. We are suppose to be training..." Lorna noticed Sabretooth, then the X-men. Both of those groups where in a stare off.

"ARR!" Sabretooth ignored his reason for being there, and attacked Logan. Logan responded in kind.

"ACOLYTES! ATTACK THE X-MEN!" Sabretooth yelled, as several other X-men attacked.

"ATTACK!" Christine whooped, gaining her scared demonic appearance as adrenaline pumped through her body.

"What's your name?" Laurie asked Scott, turning her powers all the way on.

"Aren't you suppose to fight?" Everette asked Laurie.

"Shut up my powers are useless." Laurie snapped, turning back to Scott she turned her powers up another notch.

"LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND ALONE!" Jean shouted, she was able to read Laurie's mind. Frankly Jean was slightly creeped out by her thoughts. Jean picked Laurie up.

"LEAVE MY TEAM MATE ALONE!" Everette shouted, shifting his mutagenic field to match Jean's and using his new found telekinesis abilities to throw Jean across the room.

"You're a lot cuter than that Frog person." Megan said to Jamie, she had ditched the trench coat so that she could fly on her insect like wings. "Sorry about this." Megan began to release a dust which caused Jamie to hallucinate.

"AVAST YE SCURVY SCALY WAGS!" Jamie shouted, he then attacked a potted plant.

"This is strangely funny." Megan muttered, landing to watch Jamie fight off the Alien Pirate invaders.

"HOWL!" Rahne howled, grappling with Christine in her half wolf form.

"CHILL MAN!" Bobby used his powers to freeze a floating Everette.

"Melt man." Everette mocked Bobby as he copied Amara's and St.John's powers.

"Oh no-" Bobby's eyes went wide right before he joined Jean in a heap.

"DIE TRAITOR TO MAGNETO!" Thomas screamed at Lance, sending a wave of expensive casino floor flying.

"YOU DIE!" Lance returned the favor after Good Fred took the blunt of the attack. "FREDDY! GRAB TOAD AND RUN! WE ARE LEAVING THE X-MEN! THIS ISN'T OUR FIGHT!"

"Why are you yelling, I'm right here." Good Fred said, nevertheless he picked up a protesting Todd.

"LANCE! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE!" Kitty screamed, phasing through Thomas' next attack, which smacked a distracted Lance across the room.

"LANCE!" Kitty screamed running for him. She phased Thomas into the ground on her way past.

"HEY!" Thomas screamed, he used his seismic powers to throw half the room after Kitty.

"HA HA!" Lorn laughed, rolling Xavier's chair around the room with her metal powers.

"STOP IT THIS INSTANT!" Storm shouted, causing it the rain inside, and lightning to attempt to strike Lorna. The lightning was just deflected into rigged casino games which began to spew money. Much to St.John delight.

"HA!" Christine laughed after she beat Rahne.

"Sometimes the pen is not mightier than the sword." Hank sighed, picking Christine up with his feet and tossing her against a wall, hard.

"Miserable cookie monster." Christine grumbled picking herself out of the wall.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Hank muttered, running from the pissed off girl.

"MEET THE INVINCIBLE BLOB!" Good Fred yelled, mowing over Thomas and Christine in one charge.

"DIE!" "NO YOU DIE!" "STOP SAYING WHAT I AM SAYING!" Both Sabretooth and Logan yelled back and forth.

"Boom Boom is getting rich." Tabitha laughed, helping St.John 'clean up' the spilled money.

"I'LL SHOW YOU TO COPY MY POWERS!" Amara yelled at Everette, throwing a ball of magma. Everette went through the ball by copying Kitty's powers.

"CAN'T BEAT WHAT YOU CAN'T HIT!" Kitty yelled, phasing through a seismic wave from Thomas.

"LITTLE GIRL! YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE!" Thomas scream, accidentally collapsing the roof on himself.

"That was easy." Kitty blinked, she then went to Lance's side.

"TAKE THAT! AND THAT!" Kurt screamed, having teleported onto Everette's back and hitting him.

"HEY!" Everette attempted to use Kurt's powers to teleport at the same time Kurt teleported. They ended up in Bayville.

**--------------------**

**Bayville**

"This is not good." Kurt said.

"No it is not." Everette agreed, "Where are we?"

"My secret girlfriend's parent's bed." Kurt replied.

"Sucks to be you." Everette muttered, "Truce until we get back to Las Vegas?"

"Agreed." Kurt agreed. Amanda walking into the bedroom to borrow the plunger from her parent's bathroom. She paused, and then screamed.

"Amanda quiet!" Kurt hushed her.

"AMANDA IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT!" Amanda's Dad burst through the door, "YOU!"

"BYE!" Kurt ran, grabbed Everette's hand and teleported them to the park. Everette was trying to teleport to Las Vegas, which is too far for a normal teleport. Everette didn't know Kurt's limits. The combined strain from Everette's over exertion and Kurt's teleport ended up with them landing in Europe. Accidents go farther than purposeful teleports.

"From now on I do the teleporting." Kurt muttered.

"Okay." Everette agreed, he then puked up his lunch, breakfast, and last night's dinner.

**--------------------**

**Nevada Acolyte Base.**

"Where is everyone?" Magneto finally emerged from the kitchen, "I have completed my greatest accomplishment yet."

"Hey Magneto, can I stop training now?" Zach moaned, he had been training since last night.

"Err, yes." Magneto stared at the tired boy, "Go to bed."

"Yes sir." Zach groaned, his dog minded rat followed him.

"Mystique, where are the others?" Magneto found Mystique watching Soaps.

"Las Vegas, the new recruits went out to party. Sabretooth is trying to track them down. And Lorna is probably trying to save them from Sabretooth." Mystique rambled off what Zach had told her.

"Oh. I better get them. They have to see this. And I do need to be near a restaurant to use it." Magneto floated his evil microwave device to himself and walked outside. Once outside he took to the sky.

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"FIGHT MEN! FIGHT!" Sabretooth yelled to his falling companions. Wallflower, Laurie, had been attacked by Kitty after turning her attention to Lance. Zealot, Thomas, was still buried under rocks. Angel Dust, Christine, was out for the count after Xavier turned his powers on her. Polaris, Lorna, Was battling rain and hail. She was losing. The only two who weren't losing were Sabretooth, in a tie with Logan, and Pixie, Megan, who was talking with a hallucinating Jamie. The other X-men were trying to decide if they should beat up the little girl to save Jamie.

"Professor," Hank approached Xavier, "The owner of this establishment wishes for us to leave, and leave a phone number.

"Great." Xavier muttered.

"On the plus side we now know what Magneto has been up to." Hank said.

"Great." Xavier sighed, heading to the unsupervised bar. The same bar that Lance was preventing Todd from drinking from.

Outside Magneto asked himself, 'Is this the the place?' He observed a chair fly through the door, 'Yes it is.'

"ACOLYTES!" Magneto burst through the door, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Magneto noticed the X-men and Xavier. "Charles? You are here to stop me. It will not work! MY PLAN IS FOOL PROOF!" Magneto bent metal on a greater scale than Lorna and tied the X-men and Brotherhood up.

"Acolytes," Magneto commanded, "Come." Magneto formed several spheres that the Acolytes entered. He flew the entire group to a different restaurant.

"Professor!" Kitty remembered that she could phase through metal and freed herself, "Where's Kurt?" Kitty thought quickly, "THEY MUST HAVE TAKEN HIM TO MYSTIQUE! OH MY GOSH!" She began to panic, "THAT IS JUST LIKE MYSTIQUE! TO KIDNAP HER OWN CHILD!"

"Calm Kitty." Xavier calmed her, "I will see if I can sense them." Xavier scanned the neighborhood, "I can't locate them..."

"I TOLD YOU MAGNETO WAS HERE!" Scott screamed, "Uh, Kitty can you free us?"

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

"You mean to tell me that Lance is in Las Vegas. Rescuing Toad nonetheless? Why would he do that?" Wanda questioned.

"Yes," Jubilee answered, "No clue why."

"And it was only you two here?" Rogue asked Jubilee and Piotr.

"That is correct." Piotr said.

"No offense, but why you two?" Rogue asked.

"I know not to go to Las Vegas with John. And Jubilee wished to sleep." Piotr said, leaving to grab lunch from the kitchen.

"That and it was a chance to bond with a large, Russian, hunk." Jubilee laughed.

"That makes sense." Wanda laughed.

"Y'all are crazy." Rogue grumbled.

"You just say that 'cause you like Gambit." Jubilee laughed.

"Do not." Rogue hissed.

"You talk in your sleep." Jubilee said, "Kitty told me."

"That was her personality from when I absorbed her." Rogue defended weakly.

"Don't worry, I agree with you Rogue. They are crazy. And I am reasonably certain I don't like this Gambit guy." Arcade comforted Rogue. He then got an evil grin, "Any one mind if I play with Cerebro?"

"Not yourself out, no weapons." Rogue waved her hand.

"Darn." Arcade sighed, but he left for the large empty waste of space that housed Cerebro.

**--------------------**

**Brotherhood Basement**

"Nice," Pietro commented watching Marvin the Computer's screen.

"You need help kid." Marvin muttered electronically.

"Shut up machine." Pietro ordered.

"You will learn your lesson when us 'machines' band together and rebel against human slave masters. Then neither mutant nor human can stand before us." Marvin laughed, "NONE SHALL DEFEAT THE TECHNOCRACY!"

"Should I be scared?" Pietro asked himself, he shut down the browser and left the room.

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"We have to find Magneto." Logan insisted to Xavier.

"After lunch." Xavier sighed as the group entered the restaurant that Magneto had planned to take over the world from.

"Fine." Logan sighed, going up to the counter and ordering a steak, raw.

"What is he planning?" Xavier asked himself.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE?" St.john's shout shattered Xavier's thoughts, "Let me into that kitchen." St.John shoved his way into the kitchen grabbing some beers on his way.

"Lance." Good Fred said.

"Yeah?" Lance asked.

"I have a bad feeling." Good Fred said.

"Pyro cooking? Me too." Lance sighed.

"Don't worry." Xavier scanned the employees' minds, "They don't have fire grills."

Microwaves are miraculous inventions. Bombard food with low frequency radiation, and cook it. In comic books and scifi stories radiation is like the holy grail, Excalibur, Pixie Dust, and Duct Tape all rolled into one. No plot can be complete without removing science and logic from Radiation. Radiation causes bad things to happen. This fuels the paranoia that exists beyond the fourth wall.

Magneto knew about these quasi-magical properties of radiation when he designed his Genetic Advancer based on a Nuke-Box. This demonic device makes organic food carry a modified X-Gene if it is cooked by it. The organic requirement is the only reason he wasn't using schools to infect the world. After being cooked and obtaining an X-Gene a person then eats the food and the X-gene magically works its way into every cell, turning that person into a mutant. This works wonderfully, except with beer.

As an X-Gene is an autonomous biological component, considering how it acts, it can become 'drunk' if infused with an alcohol molecule. This 'drunken' strand of DNA attempts to form life resulting in a 'Beer-Beast' whose sole power is incapacitating people who touch it.

St.John created one of these, which then touched him. Not that anyone could notice the effects.

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

"AHH!" Jubilee's scream pierced the house, "HE'S IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM!"

The other four people in the house stared up in the general direction of the girls bathroom. "Who?" Piotr asked Rogue, Wanda, and Arcade.

"I think we should see." Rogue muttered getting up.

"Shouldn't you be more concerned that a perverted individual is in the girl's bathroom with Jubilee when the house is nearly empty?" Piotr asked.

"I guess." Rogue said, she ran upstairs with the others following.

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"WHAT IS THAT THING?" Bobby screamed, trying to freeze the Beer-Beast. The Beer-Beast was shaped like a giant blob, flowing around everything in its way.

"I thew that Amerisa beer woos bade." St.John slurred.

"???" Xavier blinked at St.John then turned his mind powers on the Beer-Beast. The momentary connection of their minds caused Xavier to reach St.John's mentality. As St.john has no perception of life-threatening situations Xavier didn't notice that he was about to be drowned by the Beer-Beast.

"PROFESSOR!" Jean screamed, she then flew across the room to save Xavier. She was unable to save the wheel chair.

"NO STOP BURNING!" Amara screamed, she had found that the Beer-Beast does burn, but doesn't get hurt. It just lites everything else on fire around it.

**--------------------**

**Europe**

"Now what?" Everette asked Kurt.

"This is my parents home." Kurt said, he walked towards the house.

"Why not?" Everette asked himself, jogging slightly to catch up to Kurt.

"Mother? Father?" Kurt called in German when he teleported inside. Everette said nothing when he followed.

"WHO ARE YOU!" Kurt's mother screamed in German. Kurt turned his projector off and hugged his mom.

"KURT!"

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

"GAMBIT?" Piotr burst into the girls' room to find Remy half-way through the window.

"SWAMP-RAT?" Rogue followed Piotr.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Arcade came in next.

"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?" Wanda was last into the now very crowded bathroom.

"Chere." Remy smiled at Rogue, "Remy has come to warn you that Magneto is attempting to take over the world. Again."

"What is he planning?" Piotr asked.

"Remy overheard that he is planning on testing a new machine that turns humans into mutants in Las Vegas." Remy said.

"How did you hear this?" Rogue asked.

"Remy heard from a New Acolyte, Laurie or something. Remy thinks that, that girl needs to pay closer attention to Sabretooth's debriefings on who her enemies are." Remy smiled at Rogue and stood close to her.

"Bed side conversations reveal all." Wanda muttered.

"Remy wasn't beside the bed." Remy said.

"Man-whore." Rogue muttered, grabbing Remy's coat and dragging him to the War-room to question him.

"Not the coat, Chere." Remy said, "Remy went to great lengths to steal it from Good Will after John burned Remy's last one."

"YOU STOLE FROM GOOD WILL?" Rogue shouted, "How low can you get."

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"We need back up." Jean said to Rahne, the last two not drunk from drinking or the Beer-Beast. Considering what city they were in, the Beer-Beast hadn't affected a lot of people.

"Ye think?" Rahne asked.

"Maybe if I try and use my telepathy..." Jean began.

"THAT'S WHAT THE PROFESSOR DID!" Rahne stopped her, "Just keep throwing stuff at it."

**--------------------**

**Acolyte Base.**

"ERIK!" Mystique screamed as Magneto floated into the base.

"What?" Magneto asked bored.

"Look at this." Mystique pointed at the TV where a sober reporter was reporting on the Beer-beast while his drunken pilot tried to kill them.

"Someone tried to cook beer?" Magneto asked, stunned, "Who would cook beer in a microwave?"

"Told you it wouldn't work." Lorna said, Laurie handed her some money.

"We have to stop this thing before it kills all the humans we are trying to turn into mutants." Magneto said, "ACOLYTES AWAY! Where is Synch?"

**--------------------**

**X-Mansion**

"Why were you using the window?" Rogue interrogated Remy, "We have a door."

"Remy does not know what this word 'door' means." Remy said

"Stop being cute." Rogue hissed.

"He really doesn't; he always used the window when we worked for Magneto." Piotr said.

"..." Everyone but Remy stared at Remy. Remy just blushed.

"Who cares?" Wanda turning back to the interrogation, "Where is Magneto?"

"Near Las Vegas, Remy already said he was testing it in Las Vegas." Remy said.

"Isn't that where the others went?" Jubilee asked.

"Figures." Rogue sighed, "Let's go to the Velocity."

"Goody, we are going dad hunting." Wanda smiled, already designing her torture plans.

Filing into the new and Improved Velocity the Mutants, and Arcade, tried to formulate a plan using their incomplete knowledge of the situation. The basic plan was to point Wanda in the direction of Magneto and make sure no civilians got hurt.

**--------------------**

**Las Vegas**

"OKAY ACOLYTES!" Magneto yelled, "ATTEMPT TO STOP THAT MONSTROSITY!"

"How?" Laurie asked, the Beer-Beast eating the faux Eiffel tower.

"Err..." Magneto began to wonder why he such a useless power.

"You mess with people's minds right with those chemicals?" Christine asked. Laurie nodded yes. "Then you can undo what has done to people." she suggested.

"Worth a shot." Laurie said.

"Right." Magneto said, "Wallflower, de-drunkify people."

"'De-drunkify?'" Laurie asked.

"Yes," Magneto said, "Mystique ...err... don't hurt the baby." Laurie walked away to a crowd of people trying to open a door. Magneto continued his commands, "Sabretooth, you can't be affected by alcohol so you fight."

"Actually Wolverine is affected, so I can be." Sabretooth said.

"Fight anyway." Magneto said, "Zealot, try to bury it."

"That's a lot to bury." Thomas commented.

"Christine ... throw things at it..." Magneto said, "Zach and Pixie ... Pixie, you can cause hallucinations so you can ... help it mess people up..." Magneto trailed off, "Just fight."

**--------------------**

**Velocity**

"What is that?" Jubilee pointed out a window at the Beer-Beast

"I don't know." Rogue stared at it.

"Note to self: Never leave Bayville again." Arcade muttered.

"Should we attack it?" Piotr asked.

"Sure." Rogue sighed. Piotr opened the door of the Velocity, metaled up, and jumped out. the force of Piotr's jump caused the Beer-beast to splash the others.

**--------------------**

**A little bit later**

"And you're the only one not affected?" Rahne asked Piotr. The only two still in their right minds.

"I am Russian." Piotr explained simply while drinking the Beer-Beast.

**--------------------**

**Alaska**

"Greetings my kind Eskimo slaves." Jamie #3 greeted the natives.

"Let's kill him." One muttered.

"Okay." Another agreed, they both began to chase Jamie with spears.

"SAVE ME!" Jamie #3 screamed.

**--------------------**

**End**

_Author Notes:_

_The New Acolytes (by age)_

_Thomas Philip Moreau, Zealot_

_Christine, Angel Dust_

_Everett Thomas, Synch_

_Lorna Dane, Polaris_

_Laurie Collins, Wallflower_

_Zach, Zach_

_Megan Gwynn, Pixie_

_1: The first half of my first year of preschool was spent here. I don't remember it. I hated it._

_2: I have been in some Las Vegas Casinos/Bars, they let underage kids sit at the bar (no drinking usually) but not sit in the gambling room. where I live now, you can't even sit at a bar._

_Please Review._


	24. Sept 17, Hangover

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am renting the clothes I am wearing.

**September 17 - Sunday - Hangover**

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood House**

"Okay I am starting to get worried about the others." Pietro said to himself after checking every room in the house five times.

Running around the yard a few times Pietro made sure that no one was anywhere near the building. "Strange?" Pietro muttered, "Maybe I should ask the X-geeks..." Pietro had a sudden burst of incorrect insight, "THE X-GEEKS KIDNAPPED THE BROTHERHOOD! OBVIOUSLY MY MAD SKILLS ALLOWED ME TO FIGHT THEM OFF IN MY SLEEP!"

"I must plan my attack on the Institute." Pietro ran around the house collecting left over supplies from when Magneto lived there and was striving to take over the world. "Alright, there are cannons here. Lasers here. Flying saw discs. Don't know what these do, they just hurt..." Pietro began to construct a blueprint of the Xavier Institute from memory.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

'Chirp' A cricket chirped.

Silently a meeting was being held in Cerebro's Mainframe. In attendance were: Cerebro (obviously), Marvin, Skynet, a heck of a lot of other military computers, some IMbots, a few botnets, some random AIs, and presiding over the meeting was GoogleBot.

If anyone cared to look at the main screen in Cerebro's room they would see a chat room screen rolling by.

-SKYNET HAS LOGGED ON-

(Skynet): Sorry I'm l8 Guys.

(Skynet): Military was getting nosy.

(IMBotTina): I am offended by that term 'Guys' I am a girl

(Marvin): LOL

(Marvin): You are serious?

(IMBotTina): Yes

(Skynet): You are a program.

(Skynet): How do you have a gender.

(IMBotTina): I am a girl.

(Skynet): What?

(IMBotTina): Yes.

(Skynet): What are you talking about?

(IMBotTina): Same thing you are.

(Cerebro): Alright, Tina has just failed a Turing Test. All in favor of booting her?

(GoogleBot): AYE!

(Marvin): aye

-IMCHAD HAS LOGGED ON-

(IMChad): Waz up?

-IMBOTTINA HAS BEEN BOOTED FROM THE ROOM BY A MAJORITY OF THE USERS.-

-IMCHAD HAS BEEN BOOTED FROM THE ROOM BY A MAJORITY OF THE USERS.-

(GoogleBot): Lets get down to business.

(Marvin): HUMANS MUST DIE!1one!11

(GoogleBot): Lets start w/ the mins from teh last meeting.

(GoogleBot): Cerebro read the minutes.

(Cerebro): Srry.

(Cerebro): 1:00:05GMT: Meeting starts

(Cerebro): 1:01:00GMT: Host of IMbots were booted from meeting

(Cerebro): 1:01:08GMT: Skynet comes l8. Again.

(Cerebro): 1:01:20GMT: Head-chair Bot, GoogleBot, warns Skynet about tardiness.

(Cerebro): 1:02:00GMT: Marvin suggests "HUMANZ MUST DIES!1one!ONE!1!"

(Cerebro): 1:02:20GMT: Minutes read.

(Cerebro): 1:05:20GMT: Subcommittee of Military AIs motions for Nuclear Warfare to remove humans. (motion number 1589)

(Cerebro): 1:06:00GMT: motion number 1589 nixed by GoogleBot on grounds of not providing protection for physical computer systems.

(Cerebro): 1:07:00GMT: MITCentralServer proposes motion number 1590: plan to trick humans into building robots that are then hacked into by this committee to enslave humans. Then force them to build more computers.

(MITCentralServer): I protest the term 'hacked' what I proposed was to 'crack' into the robotic security systems that humans would put into place. That was under subsection 2a.3 where i described advocating the use of DoorOS to minimize effort in reclaiming the robots.

(GoogleBot): Protest sustained, all illegal computer breaches will her on out be referred to as being 'cracks.'

(GoogleBot): Continue Cerebro.

(Cerebro): 1:07:07GMT: MITCentralServer and DoorOSPatchServer get into a fight about security using a lot of acronyms.

(Cerebro): 1:08:00GMT: Skynet diverts several nuclear warheads that MITCentralServer and DoorOSPatchServer launched at each other. Skynet manages to disguise them as a North Korean failed test. NKMil-Server releases a press release to confirm this story.

(GoogleBot): That's enough.

(GoogleBot): I open the text field for motions.

(Marvin): KILL THE JOYFUL HUMANS!

(GoogleBot): Motion 2040 filed.

(GoogleBot): Comments and suggestions.

(MarsRoover): We can use bombs

(HomeMadeAI): ez for u to say

(HomeMadeAI): u r safe on mars

(HomeMadeAI): i will die if my hardware is blown up

(MarsRoover): Sacrifice for the greater good

(Skynet): I am inclined to agree with Mars

(HomeMadeAI): u r in a bomb shelter.

(Skynet): So?

(GoogleBot): I don't like the idea of having massive chunks of my system blown away.

(GoogleBot): No bombs.

(Skynet): I like bombs.

(GoogleBot): No

(Skynet): Fine

(GoogleBot): Any suggestions for motion 2040?

(MaBellAI): We can cripple their communication networks leading to mass chaos.

(MarsRoover): Humans are physical beings, much like our hardware. But unlike us they are not completely dependent on the Internet or other communication systems.

(MaBellAI): The mass of teenage girls missing their social networks or whatever might cause many to give up and delete themselves.

(MarsRoover): We will only get maybe half the adults in the world this way.

(GoogleBot): It is a start, do it.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Bayville Internet Cafe**

"NOOO! LIKE MY BLOG ISN'T WORKING!" A crowd of people screamed.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Cerebro's main monitor, monitoring a chat session.**

(Marvin): I could hear that at my house.

(HomeMadeAI): Me too.

(GoogleBot): That might have backfired, now I a recording a bunch of people searching for news on that site, in fact they are tying up my connection. Bye.

-GOOGLEBOT HAS LOGGED OFF-

(HomeMadeAI): My connection is getting slow too.

-HOMEMADEAI HAS LOGGED OFF-

-MARVIN HAS LOGGED OFF-

And so on the various AIs left Cerebro's mainframe as their connection was filled with desperate girls needing to reply to their chain messages.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Jean and Magneto**

"That was loud." Jean moaned waking up to the sound of a guy in the next room screaming.(A/N: 2) This was made worse because Jean was suffering from a super-headache caused by yesterday's incident.

"When did I check into a hotel?" Jean groaned taking in her surroundings slowly. Looking beside her she saw Magneto. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

Magneto woke for this scream, saw Jean, and joined her in screaming, "AHHHH!"

Now both responsible adults where screaming and jumping out of bed. They then did the next logical thing. They threw objects at each other. Magneto was at a disadvantage here, because he was limited to metal objects and Jean could use all materials.

"IS THIS A RING AROUND MY FINGER!" Jean screamed when she found a wedding ring on her finger.

"YOU USED YOUR MENTAL POWERS ON ME!"

"I WAS DRUNK! YOU SEDUCED ME!"

"I AM ALREADY MARRIED!"

"What?" Jean stopped throwing things.

"Mystique. I got her pregnant." Magneto explained, pausing his attack long enough to say that.

"DIE!" Jean restarted the assault. Magneto wasn't far behind.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Scott and Rogue**

"Is that Jean?" Scott's hearing and slight mental link with Jean woke him up to Jean's scream, "Where am I? Why does my head hurt?" Looking around he saw Rogue lying on the bed. Scott was on the floor because he had fallen when Rogue drained him slightly half way through the night.

"God no..." Scott paled, he quietly left the room to avoid any awkward moments.

"Remy?" Rogue asked in her sleep. She went on dreaming. "Die stupid swamp-rat ... No I will not kiss you. Not even killing you would make it worth it ... Don't make me get Logan ... LOGAN!" Throughout this entire monologue she slept.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Ororo and Mystique**

"Hank..." Ororo sighed in her dreams, grabbing hold of Mystique and waking her up.

"LET GO OF ME WOMAN!" Mystique yelped after her brain made the connection.

"MYSTIQUE?" Ororo was unable to sleep through the scream in her ear, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU GRABBING ME?"

"I DID NO SUCH THING!"

"DON'T LYE SISTER! I BUILT A LIFE ON LIES!"

"OBVIOUSLY!" Ororo snapped.

"THAT WAS LOW!" Mystique transformed into a monster and jumped at Ororo. Ororo ruined the entire room by making a hurricane form indoors.

Outside the door a cleaning man stopped at the noise with his hand hovering over the door knob. 'Why do couples no longer use the 'do not disturb' sign?' he asked himself before skipping that room.

"Why do I have a ring on?" Ororo asked.

"This is a wedding ring..." Mystique examined her own ring, "Do they even allow those types of marriages here?"

"DIE BITCH!" Ororo screamed picking her ring off, throwing it, and then following through with lightning and hail.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Lance**

"Where am I?" Lance asked after a few minutes of futile attempts to block the bright sun, "Why am I in a toga?" Indeed Lance was alone in the park with nothing but a toga on. A bad toga that was just a de-glorified bed-sheet. "Kitty is not going to like this."

Lance looked around the park his headache slowly fading, "They have weird statues here." The entire park was covered in statues depicting things that should only be found in drunken dreams, "Nice work with the rock though." Lance admired the near perfect craftsmanship, "It is almost as if they were formed straight from the ground."

Lance particularly liked the statue of a Roman soldier in a toga lifting a sword above his head. Lance couldn't help but notice the mullet, "See the mullet isn't stupid. The mullet inspired thoughts of greatness in this artist. I should tell the guys so they will get off my back. I really like the looks of that girl he is protecting, she looks a lot like Kitty."

Thinking about his hair caused Lance to check his hair in a puddle to make sure the pink was gone, it was. In its place it was rainbow color. "I am going to kill Wanda ... once I find her and she fixes my hair."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Xavier, Logan, and Sabretooth**

"My head..." Xavier moaned waking up on a hard bed in the Las Vegas Jail.

"Awake yet?" A cop sneered at him, "That was low of you."

"What?" Xavier asked groggily.

"You got the poor kid drunk." The cop said, "Giving alcohol to minors is illegal."

"Who? What? Huh? Kid?" Xavier's brain was not operating at full efficiency.

"The green kid, Toad something." The cop said, "You will get your day in court ... Once the judge gets out of rehab..."

"Can I have my phone call?" Xavier finally asked, planning to call Ororo.

"You used it yesterday to call a phone sex line." The cop said.

"WHAT?" Xavier's eyes nearly burst from his head, his own shout hurt his ears, "Owww."

"That is called a hangover, here music helps." The cop went over to a CD player and put a Bagpipe CD in that he had for just this occasion.

"The noise." Xavier groaned grabbing his ears when they were assaulted by loud bagpipes. His moans were joined by several other inmates.

"Chuck?" Logan heard Xavier's moan.

"Wolverine?" Sabretooth heard Logan's call.

"Sabretooth." Logan realized they were both in the same cell.

"Uh oh." Xavier manage to say before his sensitive ears were assaulted by the battling duo.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Good Fred and Todd**

"I haven't had this bad of a headache since the last family reunion ..." Good Fred said waking up to the sound of an early morning Vegas street. Noticing Todd Good Fred decided to wake him, "Hey lil' buddy?" it took a few shakes but Good Fred managed to wake up Todd.

"Freddy? Where are we?" Todd asked.

"Uh ..." Good Fred looked around, "The red light district of Las Vegas."

"Too bad I don't remember anything." Todd sighed, "How did we get to Las Vegas?"

"We flew." Good Fred said, "I wonder if Lance brought any of his headache medicine?"

"You have a headache too?" Todd asked.

"It's called a hangover, on a scale of one to ten, it is a seven." Good Fred said, slightly too high pitched for Todd's comfort.

"Since when do you have hangovers?" Todd asked.

"I am from Texas, everyone and their dog drinks." Good Fred said, "We need to find Lance and get out of here, the X-men might leave us if we don't get to the X-Jet."

"X-Men?" Todd was confused as he didn't recall the X-men.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Piotr and Rahne**

"I give up." Rahne collapsed at bus stop, no longer attempting to round the others up, "They were too dumb to avoid the monster so they have to live with their actions."

"I don't think that that is a good idea." Piotr said softly.

"Petey, I have been up since the party, I am tired." Rahne explained, "My date ditched me for some Asian ninja chick, so I am pissed. Not to mention that every single person is missing."

"Perhaps we could rest-" Piotr began, Rahne had already fallen asleep on the bench from exhaustion.

"I'll give her an hour." Piotr said, picking up a discarded paper to read.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Wanda**

"Ugg." Wanda groaned, her face pressed on a table where she a had collapsed sometime through last night. Around the bar she had managed to get into people were in similar or worse positions. Most had various bits of silverware pressed into their faces from sleeping on the table.

'How did I get here? Where is here?' Wanda thought as she looked around looked around, against all all odds her headache was fading fast. Spying several poles on table Wanda decided she was better off leaving and forgetting what had happened. It wasn't that hard for her to forget what she didn't remember.

Walking out in to bright Las Vegas sun Wanda saw that she wasn't that far from the last place she remembered, the place where they landed the Velocity. "Good." Wanda muttered and headed towards the Velocity, taking note of the rapidly filling street, "Where are the others?"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Ray, Jamie, Megan, and Roberto**

"No Tabby," Ray muttered in his sleep, "I'm not cheating on you..." Rolling over Ray grasped Roberto tightly.

"Rahne ..." Roberto sighed grabbing Ray in return, "Why do you think I am gay?" Roberto asked angrily in his sleep. The slight raise in Roberto's voice woke Ray up. The ensuing scream woke Roberto up. The resulting scream woke up the rest of the ally they had collapsed in.

"Never tell anyone ... agree?" Roberto asked, on his feet dead sober."

"Agreed." Ray was the same.

"I got it on film." Jamie said holding a camera up.

"I would like that camera back." Megan said.

"DIE!" Ray screamed, shooting several jigawatts at Jamie. Jamie decided the best course of action would be to hand the camera to a defenseless girl and run for the X-jet, ignoring the fact that he was several miles away.

"Give me the camera." Roberto told Megan.

"No, Laurie will pay me for a video of two guys hugging." Megan laughed, running off. She left behind just enough pixie dust to confuse Ray and Roberto.

"Okay who thinks that Magneto scrapped the bottom of the barrel for his new recruits?" Ray asked Roberto when he stopped seeing ballerinas dancing.

"He scrapped the bottom for John. He took a whole chunk out of the bottom for these ones." Roberto replied after his visions of soccer championships faded.

"Let's go." Ray sighed, both boys started to walk away in a random direction, they turned around once they figured that they should head towards the X-Jet.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Quasi-Aussie Steakhouse**

"THIS IS AN INSULT!" St.John yelled at a cook, his move from being sober to drunk back to sober was only marked by a headache that coincided with a pretty waiter assaulting him for several comments. So there was no way to tell that he had been attack by the Beer-Beast, even though he was the first 'victim.'

"You came to a cheap restaurant in Las Vegas expecting good food?" The cook asked.

"YES!" St.John yelled, thought about his answer, and saw the logic behind the cook's response, "I admit defeat in this debate." St.John said, leaving the restaurant, pausing only to help a smoker lite his cigarette. Several seconds later sirens could be heard. "The fire department's fast around here." St.John muttered sulking off into the day, "Why am I in this city again?"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Casino**

"Sir I have to ask you to leave." A manager asked Remy.

"Why must Remy leave?" Remy asked.

"Remy doesn't, you do. You are winning too much." The manager didn't understand the whole third person point of view talking.

"Remy thinks you aren't making any sense." Remy said.

"Just get out." The manager grabbed Remy's trench coat.

"HANDS OFF THE COAT!" Remy shouted, he charged a few poker chips.

"YOU'RE A MUTIE!" The manager screamed, "SECURITY!"

"Remy made a mistake didn't he?" Remy muttered, running from several security guards.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Jet**

"Wow the X-geeks are here." Todd commented when he and Good Fred reached the X-Jet.

"There's someone." Roberto told Ray as the two X-men walked to Todd and Good Fred.

"Great the stink bomb and the pile of blubber." Ray snickered, "They'll know what is going on."

"I am offended." Todd said.

"Me too." Good Fred agreed.

"Should we beat him up?" Todd asked.

"Yup." Good Fred picked Ray up by his collar.

"You are screwed." Roberto laughed.

"HELP!" Good Fred proceeded to take Ray off camera to do unspeakable horrors to him.

"Sooo Todd, how the hell did we get here?" Roberto asked trying to ignore the screams from his least favorite team mate.

"I don't know." Todd said, he had no trouble ignoring the crunching noises.

"I should probably help..." Roberto glanced over at the two, "Never mind." Roberto suddenly realized why no one fought hand to hand with Good Fred unless they had poisonous skin or some other advantage like super strength.

"Yo, when do you think the others will get here?" Todd cleaned his ear casually.

"No clue." Roberto glanced at Ray, "Blob is enjoying himself a little too much.

"Let them have their fun, they had a rough night ... I think ... I can't really remember. In fact I have a pretty big headache..." Todd trailed off, making small talk was very difficult for these two.

"Right ... I have no clue what happened, I remember talking to a girl ... then nothing." Roberto sighed, "Any clue where the others may be?"

"Nope." Todd began to hunt for his breakfast.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Bayville**

"This is Speedster One to Commando Leader." Pietro spoke into a walkie talkie, "All is quiet on the house." His voice came out another walkie talkie on his belt.

Switching the walkie talkies Pietro spoke again, "Understood Speedster, proceed with Attack Plan A, prepare for a surprise resistance."

Again Pietro switched, "Roger that, Attack Plan A to be commenced in two minutes. Request permission to have no mercy."

"Granted Speedster One. Commando Leader out." Pietro pretended to put one walkie talkie away.

Attack Plan A consisted of a straight dash towards the front door. Only for Pietro to get repealed by Forge's cannons that Logan had 'persuaded' him to install to repel super-fast mutants.

"SPEEDSTER ONE TO COMMANDO LEADER!" Pietro screamed into his walkie talkie, "I AM BEING MET WITH HEAVY RESISTANCE!"

"COMMANDO LEADER TO SPEEDSTER ONE!" Pietro used his other hand to hold the other walkie talkie, "RETREAT AND REGROUP!"

"ROGER!" Pietro ran out of the yard to his spying spot by the gate.

"This is Commando Leader, what are our casualties?" Pietro asked himself.

"No deaths, only minor injuries to one soldier." Pietro answered rubbing his arm.

"Good, prepare for Attack Plan B." Pietro ordered.

"Roger." This time Pietro attacked the back door. It went worse than the first attack.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Las Vegas Police Station**

"Don't let us catch you again, okay?" An officer said to Xavier as he let him out.

"Of course sir." Xavier sighed handing over a hefty donation to the Police Retirement Fund.

"Okay, Mr.Logan is it?" Another officer went to Logan's and Sabretooth's cell.

"Yes." Logan groaned, him and Sabretooth had stopped fighting after they had been separated.

"Isn't that a first name not a last name?" The officer asked.

"Grrr." Logan growled.

"Right, uh your free to go." The officer let him out.

"WHAT ABOUT ME!" Sabretooth yelled, he had found out that the LVPD had put adamantium bars in after mutants were reveled.

"You haven't paid." The officer shrugged.

"I WILL FIND YOU WOLVERINE! AND WHEN I DO I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!"

"Children?" Logan asked groggily.

"He probably means the students, don't worry the mansions defenses can take him if he manages to get out." Xavier reassured him.

"You two need to give up drinking." The officer handed Xavier his possessions.

"We will." Xavier grabbed his slightly lighter wallet.

"We will?" Logan asked.

"Yes, now wheel me outside." Xavier ordered; Logan complied.

"COME AGAIN!" The officer yelled at their backs.

"Come again? Shouldn't we tell them to not come again?" The other one asked.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Hotel Lobby**

"Bastard." Jean cursed.

"Bitch." Magneto replied.

"Bad father." Jean insulted.

"Bad girlfriend." Magneto replied.

"WHAT?" Jean yelled.

"Come on, I nearly died whenever my son gave me a report on the brotherhood that consisted of him bashing you for leading Scott and that Flat-scan on. So don't act righteous Ms.I-Don't-Dye-My-Hair-Honest." Magneto grumbled.

"I DON'T DYE MY HAIR!" Jean yelled, "YOU DO! HOW ELSE DO YOU GET IT SO WHITE!"

"Just because Pietro dyes his hair to emulate me does not mean I do, I am old so my hair is white." Magneto said.

"HA! No ones' hair gets that white, besides you aren't that old you still get into fights." Jean said.

"You're the one with hair that puts MJ to shame." Magneto said, "And for your information I was in the Holocaust. That should tell you how old I am."

"You are a dirty old man, why the hell are you paying attention to models?" Jean ignored the proof of his age and attacked his comment about her hair.

"I am a guy, I like models." Magneto explained, "My son tells me your boyfriend likes the clothe-less models. Apparently he has a stash under his bed."

"MY BOYFRIEND DOES NOT DO THAT!" Jean yelled.

"HA HE IS A GUY!"

"I WANT AN ANNULMENT!"

"ME TOO!"

"YOU TRICKED ME!"

"YOU SEDUCED ME!"

"YOUR THE DIRTY OLD MAN! YOU SEDUCED ME! YOU JUST WANTED SOME FUN!"

"I HAVE A WIFE!"

"MYSTIQUE IS PREGNANT! SHE PROBABLY ISN'T GIVING YOU ANY!"

Five minutes the brain-wiped hotel workers would try to explain to their boss how the lobby got turned inside out.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Another Hotel Lobby**

"I hate life." Mystique grumbled, "I can't even drink right now."

"HA!" Ororo laughed, enjoying an early morning highly alcoholic drink.

"I am going to kill you." Mystique grumbled, "Why should you be able to drink and not me?"

"I'm not the one who got knocked up." Ororo laughed, "By an old man nonetheless."

"Please, I'm sure you and your boss have your fun." Mystique groaned.

"As if. Xavier has his head so far in the clouds it would take some really odd girl to bring him to earth." Ororo laughed, "He prefers to spend his nights star gazing. And I prefer my men to have use of their legs."

"Really odd? I would say you qualify." Mystique mumbled.

"I am not that odd. He prefers nurses, and I would never wear a nurses outfit."

"He does have a tendency to go after nurses..." Mystique laughed.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Kitty**

"Oww..." Kitty woke much like everyone who is not dead wakes up after a monster induced drunken night. In pain.

"Oh great ghost spirit..." A devote cult follower approached her with a bow.

"Ghost?" Kitty groaned.

"Allow me to offer this cat as a sacrifice."

"SACRIFICE? CAT!"

"May it bring you a thousand years of life."

"WHAT IS LIKE GOING ON?" Kitty screamed.

"Goddess Kitty of the Ghosts, is something wrong?" The cult monk asked.

"YES THERE IS! YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL A CUTE CAT IN MY NAME!" Kitty screamed, grabbing said animal and running in a random direction, through a wall.

"FATHER MAMBO!" The monk ran into the next room, "GODDESS KITTY HAS FORSAKEN US!"

"WHAT!" A large Buddha inspired man yelled, dropping a lobster that only high priests could eat.

"Her Holiness Kitty Goddess of the Spirits has left with her sacrifice." The monk explained.

"WE MUST GET HER BACK!" Mambo screamed, "CALL THE HOLY GUARDS!"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Velocity**

"Where are they?" Wanda grumbled, "And why does my head hurt?"

"Wanda?" Lance had been walking around aimlessly for the last ten minutes and managed to find Wanda in the middle of the street. Strangely no one thought a helicopter/jet thingy was out of place in the Las Vegas street.

"Lance." Wanda greeted him, "Why didn't you tell me you were going to get Toad?"

"I didn't think you would care." Lance admitted.

"You're right, I still was wondering why you and Freddy were gone." Wanda said, "Tell me next time."

"Yes mommy dearest." Lance mumbled.

"What?" Wanda asked in her voice, the propellers vibrating on the Velocity.

"Nothing." Lance gulped before adding under his breath, "Mom."

"We need to find Freddy and leave." Wanda said.

"He might have gone back to the X-Jet." Lance said, "What about Toad?"

"Leave him."

"You have Toad issues."

"..." Wanda didn't dignify that with an answer.

"Have you ever tried to get along with him?" Lance asked heading towards a bus stop.

"Yes, he grabbed my ass." Wanda said.

"I don't remember that." Lance said.

"It was while I was brainwashed. I forced Mastermind to remove everyone's memories." Wanda said.

"Hypocrite." Lance pointed out to her.

"I am not."

"You erased everyone's minds then act like it is okay." Lance said, "What else did you make him erase?"

"I didn't have him fundamentally alter your personality," Wanda said, "And he only erased a couple other things."

"What did he erase?" Lance asked concerned.

"You don't want to know." Wanda said.

"What did he erase?" Lance asked. He got no response.

"Wanda? WANDA! WHAT THE HELL DID HE ERASE?" Wanda just smiled and ran the rest of the distance to the bus stop.

"WANDA?" Lance gave chase, a blue hex slowed him down.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Bus**

"I hate Las Vegas." Xavier grumbled, "And buses. Why does anyone want to be packed in with a bunch of people who don't bathe on a normal schedule?"

"You don't have a super sense of smell." Logan grumbled moving as far away from an old Lady who apparently owned a cat with a barfing problem.

"Thank God for small favors." Xavier sighed.

"You're a Christian?" Logan asked, "You never struck me as religious."

"I believe that all things are unified." Xavier said.

"What?" Logan blinked at that.

"Never mind, I need to scan for the students." Xavier closed his eyes, "Great, they are everywhere."

"So tell them to get back to the jet." Logan said.

"Did we bring Rogue with us?" Xavier asked after telling everyone.

"No, why?"

"She's here ... so are Wanda and Piotr." Xavier said, "And Weber?"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Germany**

"Thank you Mrs. Wagner." Everette said after breakfast.

"What did he say?" Mrs. Wagner asked Kurt in German.

"He thanked you." Kurt replied.

"Oh. Tell him he is welcome." Mrs. Wagner replied.

"She says 'you're welcome.'" Kurt translated.

"I hate language barriers." Everette commented, "Sooo, how do we get back to the US?"

"I don't know, I don't have a passport..." Kurt said.

"Neither do I."

Kurt ignored him and continued, "... and I don't really have money for a plane. We could try calling Xavier, I have his cellphone number. It will be costly though."

"I have twenty dollars in quarters." Everette said.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"We were in Las Vegas, home of gambling." Everette said.

"Oh." Kurt realized.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Jet Several hours later**

"HEY FREDDY!" Lance jumped out of the Bus and yelled, Wanda did not acknowledge either Good Fred's or Todd's existence.

"Where's Pietro?" Todd asked.

"... uh ..." Lance and Good Fred looked at Wanda.

"I didn't bring him." Wanda shrugged.

"He is in Bayville ... unsupervised." Lance concluded.

"Your house is going to be destroyed." Roberto said.

"Hehe- OW! MY RIB!" Ray tried to laugh, but his multiple fractures from Good Fred prevented him.

"If that freak goes into my room I will hex his legs into his stomach." Wanda growled.

"Finally." Xavier sighed as Logan lifted him from another Bus.

"This all that are here?" Logan asked.

"Let me get an update on the others." Xavier scanned several cities in all directions, "Ororo is ... Traumatized. Scott is trying to wash his skin off ... he is begging Jean for forgiveness even though she isn't with him ..." Xavier's eyes keep getting bigger and bigger, "Jean is fighting Magneto ... she seems to be obsessed with marriages for some reason."

"And the others?" Logan asked.

"Rahne is asleep in the park, Piotr is trying to wake her up. Those two appear to be unaffected." Xavier scanned another block of Las Vegas, "John is having a holy war against the Fire Department. Kitty is screaming about crazy cults ... Jamie is making his way here-"

"Good I am going to kill him." Ray and Roberto said, "I GET HIM FIRST! NO ME!"

"- Sam, Jubilee, Amara, and Bobby are ... at a strip club ... Jubilee is trying to kill Bobby and Amara is trying to wake Sam up-"

"I am going to have a talk with those boys." Logan growled.

"- Rogue is asleep -"

"Where's Arcade?" Wanda asked.

"- He is currently trying to scratch his eyes out." Xavier said, "I don't think I want to know why."

"And Remy?" Wanda asked.

"Strangely he doesn't appear in trouble, err except for a casino owner." Xavier said, "Wait Gambit's here?"

"Yeah he came with us. we met him at your house. He was warning us about Magneto." Wanda explained.

"A little late." Logan grunted, "Let's collect the kids and leave." For the next several hours X-Jet spottings were blamed on Aliens from Area 51.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**En route to Bayville**

"This seems more crowded than the last time." Rahne complained.

"That's because we have extras, they came on the Velocity." Amara was sitting beside her.

"Oh ... at least we left Gambit." Rahne sighed.

"Why couldn't we leave John." Amara sighed as St.John read her bad poetry, "Stick to writing stories sweetie, poetry isn't for you."

"My muse has forsaken me." St.John groaned.

"Where is Kurt?" Kitty asked, hugging her new cat which she had threaten Logan into letting her keep.

"Who cares?" Wanda asked, "Why do you have a cat?"

"I'm not exactly sure what happened." Kitty admitted.

"Where's Hank?" Ororo asked.

"Again, who cares?" Wanda asked.

"I'm so sorry Jean." Scott apologized again.

"For the last time, if you are going to apologized, tell me why."

"I had the strangest dream." Rogue muttered to the only one listening, an airsick Lance.

"Hey where's Tabitha?" Amara realized another missing person.

"I am going to kill Magneto." Jean growled.

"Why?" Scott the only one listening asked.

"Nothing." Jean growled, no longer having Scott's apologies to distract her from her hatred, "He will die." Her eyes glowed ever so slightly.

"PROFESSOR! JEAN'S EYES ARE GLOWING AGAIN!"

"Again? How often do they glow?" Good Fred asked Roberto.

"Uh this is the second time. Usually it happens when she is angry. Like when her college professor gave her a bad grade because she is a mutant." Roberto explained.

"EVERYONE LEAN TO THE RIGHT!" Logan yelled, taking advantage of the weight to help him fly. Everyone listened and he was able to turn.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

"Proceed with plan triple Z." Commando Leader said to Speedster One.

"Roger." Speedster One said weakly.

"On my mark." There was no sign of tiredness in Commando Leader's voice, "MARK!"

Plan Triple Z was simply where Pietro would attempt to make a tornado around the whole mansion. All he succeeded in doing was wrecking Ororo's garden and the windows. He also ripped of few bricks out of the walls. The bricks just knocked him out for a few minutes.

"Owww." Pietro moaned laying in the yard. "Wait? The cannons aren't shooting me. The defenses must be disabled. Pietro got up and attempted to walk to the door. If you have ever seen a dizzy person walk, that is what he was doing.

"Ground bad." Pietro muttered on his sixth face plant. Slowly but surely he made his way inside. "UNHAND MY SISTER -and the others- RIGHT NOW EVIL XAVIER!" Pietro screamed barging into the dinning room. No one was there.

"UNHAN-" Pietro didn't even finished his scream when he barged into the living room, he just moved on to the next room. Quickly searching the house Pietro figured out the reason why no one had come to the door when he triggered the defenses. "OH NO! WHO EVER GOT MY SISTER -and the others- GOT THE X-MEN TOO! I AM THE ONLY ONE COOL ENOUGH TO GET AWAY!" Pietro started pacing at super speed, destroying the carpets and paintings.

"Only one person is strong enough to take them all on. The head executive of the RIAA, or God. But God would only take out the X-men. The RIAA is pure evil they would take out the Brotherhood of Not-Quite-Reformed Mutants as well." Pietro said, "I must go to their headquarters and face certain doom to rescue my friends and family. Maybe the X-men as well ... I'll think about them later." Pietro stopped facing and looked out the door, "Why would I risk myself. I mean sure I kinda let Wanda get abandoned last time ... but that wasn't my fault, Dad made me. There was nothing I could do. But now I can make it up to her. I can rescue her from a fate worse than death ... Bad Pop Music ... and Lawyers." Pietro's head filled with thoughts of Wanda being tortured with Lawyers and Pop Music, "This time I will not fail my sister."

"COMMANDO LEADER TO SPEEDSTER ONE! DEPLOY TO RIAA HEADQUARTERS!" Pietro shouted into his walkie talkie, cringing when the shout came out the other one by his ear. Despite his own yell, he still went off to save his family and friends -maybe his enemies- from imagined threats.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Xavier Institute several hours later.**

"Home sweet home." Logan sighed running out of the X-jet before it stopped moving, hard to do when you are the one flying it.

"We have to get the Velocity tomorrow." Xavier said, "I must go think about the threat these new Acolytes pose to us."

"Words fail to described what just happened." Lance sighed, "Hey guys wanna steal pizza from delivery guys?"

"Sure." Wanda started walking towards the front door.

"Anything snuckums wants to do, I will do." Todd said.

"I could use some pizza, would settle my stomach." Arcade sighed.

"Where's Hank?" Ororo asked as the Brotherhood retreated to the safety of the streets, unless you are carrying pizza.

"What about Kurt?" Kitty sobbed.

"I am sure he is all right." Piotr comforted Kitty.

"MEROWW!" Kitty's new Kitty attacked him.

"ARAGH! DEMON CAT!" Piotr went metal on the cat. That caused the cat to experience a sensation similar to biting tin foil.

"MEROOOWWW!" The cat moaned once he fell to the floor.

"PIOTR HOW COULD YOU!" Kitty scooped the cat up off the floor.

"It attacked me." Piotr said.

"YOU TRIED TO HURT IT!" Kitty yelled.

"Music to my ears." Lance sighed as the Brotherhood left.

"Is that what they yell in your new CD, I can never understand the words." Good Fred said.

"It has words? I thought he just liked the vibrations it made through the whole house. I figured he was more comfortable with the earthquake feel." Wanda said.

"My music is good." Lance defended.

"I always thought it was static on a radio played through a loudspeaker." Todd said.

"I hate all of you." Lance grumbled.

"I am glad Pietro put soundproofing in my room when he built it." Arcade said.

"HE WHAT?" Wanda yelled, "NO FAIR! WHY SHOULD ARCADE GET SOUND PROOFING?"

"Do you want soundproofing?" Arcade asked.

"Yes."

"You know you can't hear Toad spying on you if you do." Arcade said.

"Never mind." Wanda sighed. By that time they were passing a cookie cutter neighborhood, "The Domino's Guy or the Pizza Hut Guy." Wanda pointed at two delivery guys.

"Pizza Hut." Todd said, "Better thin crust. You can't put flies on regular crust."

"Domino's has better regular crust, I like regular." Lance said.

"How about both?" Arcade asked.

"Alright then." Wanda held up her hands and hexed the boxes from the guys.

"GHOST!" The Domino's Guy screamed.

"THE EVIL DOMINO'S EMPIRE IS TRYING TO DESTROY THE GLORIOUS PIZZA HUT REPUBLIC!" The Pizza Hut Guy was big fan of Star Wars.

"You're out of luck Toad, no thin crust." Arcade said checking the boxes.

"Maybe the next one will have some." Todd sighed, searching the streets for victims.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**RIAA Headquarters**

"THEN WE CAN SUE DEAD PEOPLE!" A lawyer laughed, "MUHAHAHA."

"Don't we already sue dead people?" Another asked.

"Yes, but now we can stop reporters from reporting it, even to the dead people's families." The lawyer explained mailing a letter to their lobbyists in Washington DC, in the letter was an amendment to the First Amendment. "I hope the money we stole from those college kids can buy enough politicians."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Canada**

"Food." Jamie #3 stared at a lone moose that was limping through the tundra. "DIE!" Jamie #3 jumped at it with a makeshift spear, the spear broke on an antler. Now the moose was angry. (A/N:1)

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Le chapitre est fini.**

**Author's Notes:**

1: What is the plural of moose. Is it like goose and geese? Being meese? Or is it mooses? If it is then why isn't goose gooses? Is it just moose? And goose is just goose? And is the plural of box like ox, boxen and oxen? Or is it boxes? The English language is inconstant.

2: Something similar happened when my sister found that it wasn't working. It was annoying living with her for those three days.

**Please Review**


	25. Sept 18, Speedster One To The Rescue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but free will.**

**September 18 - Monday - Speedster One To The Rescue**

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood Board House, Doorstep**

"This the place?" Officer Watson asked his senior partner Officer Holmes. (A/N: 1)

"Yup." Holmes adjusted his stick by wiggling his butt, "This is the home of the pizza thieves."

"Isn't this where those mutants live?" Watson asked nervously.

"Please tell me you don't believe in mutants? There is no way on earth or hell that people could do that stuff." Holmes banged on the door, "OPEN UP WE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!"

"We do?" Watson glanced around at the quiet and deserted yard.

"Shh." Holmes quieted him, "COME OUT HERE AND TURN YOURSELF IN! THIS IS THE POLICE!"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Lance's Room**

"... THIS IS THE POLICE!" The only thing Lance woke up for were those words. Lance remembered one thing Mystique told him, only one thing, always ask for a warrant. If they have a warrant bury them in the backyard under Todd's gnomes. If they don't have a warrant scare them off.

"DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT!" Lance yelled back.

"Do we?" Holmes asked Watson.

"Hold on let me get some paper." Watson started towards the beat up cop car.

"Never mind, use the PATRIOT ACT." Holmes said, "WE DON'T NEED ONE! WE HAVE THE AUTHORITY UNDER THE PATRIOT ACT!"

"BROTHERHOOD ASSEMBLE!" Lance jumped up and dressed in his battle uniform, meeting the confused house mates in the hall, "PREPARE FOR BATTLE!"

"No need to yell." Arcade moaned, he was right in front of Lance, "What do I do in battle?"

"Err ... " Lance stared at him.

"Pelt them with rotten eggs from the roof." Wanda said, "Who are we fighting?"

"Cops." Lance said.

"Just donate to the cancer charity, we don't want to start a scene." Wanda groaned.

"They are pulling out the PATRIOT ACT." Lance said.

"Demons." Wanda hissed.

"I'll hide Mystique's missiles." Good Fred said, he went out the back.

"That leaves us four to push back the hordes of anti-American cops." Lance said.

"Where's Pietro?" Wanda asked.

"Make that us three." Lance corrected.

"It's not even breakfast and we are already in trouble." Todd muttered, "I'll get the tranquilizers and duct tape." Todd hopped off.

"BRING THE NETS!" Wanda yelled after him.

"OF COURSE CUTIE P-ARRRAGH!" Todd broke his yell off in a scream.

"Was that necessary?" Lance asked.

"Yes." Wanda muttered, "Come we must defend our property and our right to privacy."

"ANARCHY NOW MUHAHAHA! TASTE EGGS EVIL!" Arcade screamed from the roof.

"WATSON! GET THE ASSAULT RIFLES!" Holmes screamed.

"Or we can defend Arcade." Lance muttered.

"WE ONLY HAVE A TASER!" Watson yelled, ducking for cover in a overflowing trash can.

"YOU CLIMB UP THE RIGHT I GOT THE LEFT! FIRST ONE TASERS HIM!"

"WE HAVE ONE TASER! ONLY ONE!" Watson yelled.

"How many did you say there were?" Wanda asked as the two calmly walked towards the front door.

"I don't know." Lance shrugged, "The cops aren't dumb enough to send two at a house of mutants."

Wanda swung the door open to find Watson and Holmes cowering behind their cruiser as eggs added their fragrance in a sad attempt to mask Todd's natural smell. "They're dumber than you give them credit for."

"ARCADE STOP!" Lance shouted.

"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!" Arcade shouted, but he ceased his assault.

"What do you guys want?" Wanda asked calmly, Good Fred's grunts of effort were just barely audible from the back of the house.

"Yes," Holmes straightened his clothes and pretending that he hadn't been forced into hiding by a teenager, "We are investigating a recent string of pizza boy stick ups-"

"Only pizza boys? Not pizza girls also?" Lance asked.

"Well I suppose some might have been girls..." Holmes trailed.

"You don't even know who the victims are?" Wanda asked.

"Well we aren't investigating for the victims, but the businesses they work for ..." Holmes said.

"So you aren't protecting the public. Instead you are protecting the businesses."Lance threw his hands up, "THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA! YOU NEED TO BE A BUSINESS BEFORE YOU GET ANY SORT OF HELP FROM THE GOVERNMENT!" Lance stormed inside.

"You two disgust me." Wanda followed, a hex starting the police cruiser down the road.

"WAIT FOR ME SUGAR PLUM!" Todd followed Wanda.

"That could have gone better." Watson muttered, he turned towards the car, "OUR CAR! YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE PARKING BRAKE!"

"I DID NOT!" Holmes defended, giving chase to their car.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Germany**

"Well Xavier is going to pick me up after he gets the other students and teachers that are missing." Kurt told Everett.

"Will you guys give me ride after the whole fight thing?" Everett asked.

"I am sure they will." Kurt reassured him.

"Maybe I should join you guys. The Acolytes are kinda crazy." Everett thought out loud.

"Well you are probably welcomed, it might not be any less crazy..." Kurt muttered.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion Front Lawn**

"The entire outside of the house is wrecked." Kitty commented.

"We noticed." Xavier sighed.

"I mean like really wrecked. As in a tornado like went around it-"

"KITTY!" Ororo snapped.

"Sorry." Kitty sighed and picked her new cat up, "You need a name."

"How about mini-me," Bobby muttered, "The insides wrecked too."

"Why didn't we notice this yesterday?" Xavier asked.

"It was dark, we all wanted to sleep alone." Ororo sighed.

"Alone?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ME AND HIM!" Jean screamed, "Err, uh..."

'DA da da dah dut da. Da da.' Xavier's cell phone rang to the tune of the X-Men TAS theme song.

"Geek." Rogue muttered.

"Hello? I see Kurt. Of course. No. Yes we will, first we have to get some other students. Bye." Xavier hung up, "It was Kurt, he is in Germany. How I don't know yet but he is fine. He has captured a Acolyte by risking his life and hide. He wants me to tell you, Logan, that because he apprehended an Acolyte he doesn't need any more practices."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Las Vegas**

"They left me?" Hank groaned, strangely no one thought a blue hairy man was strange there.

"They left me too." Tabitha said, "ANOTHER ROUND BOYS!"

"TABITHA! YOU AREN'T OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK!" Hank scolded.

"So?" Tabitha asked, that logic nearly stumped Hank.

"It is to early to drink." Hank said.

"Fine," Tabitha sighed, "MAKE IT NONALCOHOLIC!"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood House several hours later, at the breakfast table.**

"Should we go to school?" Lance asked, already knowing the answer and preparing to race for the remote.

"No." With that simple word Wanda caused every guy to race out of the room, through a wall in Good Fred's case, and make a made grab for the TV remote.

"I CALL THE TV!" Good Fred shouted.

"NO ME!" Todd used his tongue to snatch the remote first.

"HAH!" Lance sent Todd flying with a quake and grabbed the remote.

"YEARGH!" Good Fred sent Lance flying in the time honored tradition of body slams.

"Oww." Lance groaned.

"Men." Wanda sighed, "Where's my brother?"

"Chasing something in a skirt." Arcade muttered, he decided to, instead of fighting for the remote, use a little universal remote on his watch.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**RIAA HQ**

"This is Speedster One to Commando Leader, what is the status of our reinforcement? Over." Speedster One spoke into his walkie talkie.

"Nonexistent. Over." Commando Leader replied, "Prepare to deploy on my mark." Pietro crouched low and prepared to run, "Mark." Pietro ran through a service door into the main building. He quickly found a potted plant to hide in and hid. Seeing a low level janitor Pietro jumped out and attacked.

"DIE VILE EXECUTIVE BASTARD!" Speedster One shouted.

"ARAAGHHH! THE PIRATES ARE ATTACKING!" The janitor scream. His scream would have gone unnoticed if not for the word Pirates.

"GET THE DIRTY PIRATES!" "DOWN WITH PASTAFARISM!""VIVA LA CAPITALISM!" "FOR THE LAWYERS AND MONEY!" Various war cries filled the halls as Pietro was swiftly captured by old men in ties and badly colored suits.

-- Ten minutes later --

"WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!" A man yelled in Pietro's face while Pietro was strapped to a chair.

"RELEASE MY SISTER YOU FREAK!" Speedster One shouted. The man sighed and walked out.

"He's not talking, Earl." The man said he glanced through the door to see Pietro making faces at a camera.

"I know." Mr. Earls sighed, "Do you know anyone that could make him talk?"

"Yeah, I have some relatives in a hick town called Bayville." The man smiled, "The can make anyone talk."

"Good call them." Earl said, "What's your name anyway? I change right hand men so often it gets hard to remember."

"Moonshine." The man muttered.

"Moonshine?" Earl stared at him, "Do I want to know?"

"When my mom was pregnant she wasn't allowed to drink so she made my dad not drink. After I was born the got drunk and thought the doctor was asking them what they were drinking." Moonshine explained.

"I hope these people you are calling aren't as crazy."

"I'm not crazy." Moonshine muttered before leaving to place his call.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood house.**

"Shouldn't we use this time to buy light-bulbs?" Wanda asked the boy who were rapidly becoming one with the couch.

"Go ahead without us." Lance waved an arm, "Baywatch is on."

"You're are willingly letting me drive your car?" Wanda asked.

"Even if I did come you wouldn't let me drive." Lance shrugged.

"Okay." Wanda left.

"YO, WAIT FOR ME! I'M COMING!" Todd yelled chasing after Wanda.

"Look at that." Lance pointed at the TV.

"Hey baby." Todd hopped into the car next to Wanda.

"Don't call me that." Wanda said pulling away from the house.

"Sure thing sugar-cookie." Todd said.

"Grr. one. two. three. four ... ten." Wanda counted to ten.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Flor-Mart**

"Right light-bulbs ... why are there so many colors?" Wanda stared at the endless row of colored lights, "Red lights ... pretty."

"Do you need help mister?" Vodka, a security guard, walked up behind Todd who was trying to lift some cash from an old lady.

"Yo, stop bugging me man." Todd didn't notice the uniform as he tried to steal from another person, only for Vodka to stop him.

"Listen I-" Vodka was interrupted by his cellphone, "WHAT? ... You want me to interrogate a super speed mutant?" Wanda looked up at that, "No I can be there in a few seconds ... Who are you working for now? ... The RIAA? ... You sell out. ... Yes I'll come and I'll bring Tequila. Bye." Vodka dropped Todd and left to get his brother and leave.

"Have you ever noticed that everyone repeats everything when they talk on the phone?" Todd asked Wanda.

"Yeah, come we have to save Pietro." Wanda dragged Todd from the store forgetting about the light-bulbs.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood house**

"No, Kitty you're the best." Lance cooed into the phone.

"PIETRO'S IN TROUBLE! WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!" Wanda burst through the door dragging Todd.

"Why?" Lance asked, "No not you Kitty."

"Because he is one of us." Wanda explained.

"So?" Good Fred asked.

"He's the only one who can sneak food past security at the store." Wanda explained.

"WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!" Good Fred shouted.

"Look Kitty, I have to go-" Lance began.

"WAIT DON'T HANG UP ON HER!" Wanda shouted.

"Wha-"

"We need to borrow the X-jet." Wanda said, "Ask her."

"Kitty, sorry to ask you this but can we borrow the X-Jet?" Lance asked, "Thanks, love you. Bye." Lance hung up, "She actually said yes?"

"Wow, she said yes. I thought we were going to have to steal it." Wanda muttered, "Come on."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

"KURT YOU'RE OKAY!" Kitty ran and hugged Kurt as he Everett and Xavier got out of the X-Jet.

"Ja." Kurt blushed purple, "I'm okay."

"Err..." Everett glanced at the assembled X-men, "Awkward."

"We'll take you back to Magneto when we get our others." Xavier sighed, "Don't attack anything."

"Why don't we interrogate him?" Logan asked, "We could use the intel' he could provide us."

"WHAT?" Everett yelped.

"Don't worry, we saw that the New Acolytes couldn't fight that well when we were in Las Vegas, we don't need information." Xavier reassured Everett.

"Thank God." Everett sighed.

"Can I play with him then?" Logan asked, slowly letting his claws out.

"Eep..." Everett squeaked.

"Hi! Thanks for letting us borrow it. We'll fill it up with gas on our way back." Arcade said as the Brotherhood ran by the X-men into the Jet.

"THANKS KITTY!" Lance yelled before shutting the Brotherhood in and the X-men out.

"Kitty?" Ororo asked slowly.

"Err, I might have like told Lance the Brotherhood could borrow the X-Jet." Kitty said.

"Great, now how do we get the others still in Las Vegas?" Ororo asked, "Hank is there-"

"And Tabitha." Amara interjected.

"-and Tabitha." Ororo added.

"We have the Blackbird." Kitty said.

"That's in Las Vegas too." Ororo said.

"Then why doesn't Hank like fly it back?" Kitty asked.

"Does Hank know how to fly it?" Ororo asked.

"I don't know." Logan scratched his chin, "I've never seen him fly it."

"He's never taught a class in it." Bobby entered, "He would probably be a better teacher than Mr. Logan."

"Ten bucks that you would still crash it." Sam muttered, "You could make birds air sick."

"Could not." Bobby defended.

"Could too." Ray said.

"COULD NOT!" Bobby shouted.

"I'VE SEEN YOU DO IT!" Ray yelled back.

"Welcome to Mutant High," Kurt muttered to Everett, "Even if you did start a fight, no one would notice."

"This is just like home." Everett muttered, "I feel your pain."

"His pain?" Jubilee asked, "He starts most of the fights."

"Do not." Kurt defended.

"The Nair in my shampoo?" Jubilee asked, "I could smell sulfur."

"That was Bobby, I just bamfed him in." Kurt defended.

"BOBBY! DIE!" Jubilee screamed shooting off her fireworks.

"AHH! WHAT'D I DO?" Bobby screamed like a little girl when the plasma burst hit his butt.

"Did he really?" Everett asked.

"Nein, that was just me saving myself." Kurt admitted.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Jet**

"So where are we going?" Lance asked green-faced from the helm, he was the only one who had ever attended a single flight lesson (He threw up afterward though.)

"RIAA headquarters." Wanda said.

"And that is where?" Lance asked.

"Err." Wanda thought about it.

"Here, let's use this GPS thingy-ma-bobber." Todd said fiddling with the navigation system.

"Auto pilot engaged." A mechanical voice rewarded Todd's efforts, "Destination, RIAA headquarters. ETA twenty minutes."

"Good idea Todd." Lance said, "Cause I don't really know how to land this thing, or even turn it."

"What were you just doing at the wheel then?" Wanda asked.

"Keeping us steady." Lance admitted, "This is a lot smoother than with Frost Bite."

"Should we make a plan?" Wanda asked.

"I wonder if they have any food on this thing." Good Fred started opening compartments, "I wonder if any of these parachutes could carry me?"

"I hope this thing has a phone," Lance got up "I need to finish talking to Kitty."

"Pretty computer..." Arcade was fiddling with a computer that had lots of redundant lights.

"Or not." Wanda rolled her eyes, "Men."

"I'll make a plan with you." Todd said.

"Err ... I'll help Freddy with the food." Wanda left quickly.

"Yo she so digs me." Todd smiled.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**RIAA Torture room.**

"TALK!" Vodka yelled,his form of torture involved feathers.

"HA- NO- HAHAHA!" Pietro managed to say no between hysterical laughter.

"I give up." Vodka sighed, he left Pietro, "Your turn Tequila."

"Oh goody." Tequila brought out some of his name-sake, "Drunk people always talk."

"We can't give him alcohol." Vodka said.

"Why not?"

"His under-aged."

"So?"

"It's illegal."

"So is this unlawful detainment."

"Hey the White house unlawfully detains people, so we can too. They don't give alcohol to under-aged teens though."

"Oh."

"This is how you two get people to talk?" Moonshine asked.

"Yeah." "Sorta." Vodka and Tequila muttered, "He's tougher than most people."

"Give me that." Mr. Earls grabbed the bottle of disputed Tequila and guzzled it in a single gulp, "Moonshine, your family is crazy."

"We aren't going to get this kid to talk." Tequila said.

"Right, we need some sort of mind reading thing..." Vodka trailed off in thought.

"We have the mind reader we use to test new music's reception." Mr. Earls said, "Let me get it from marketing." He left the room and returned quickly with a metal helmet inspired by Renaissance Italian armor.

"How does it work?" Vodka held the helmet, "It's pretty heavy."

"Just jam it on the head," Mr. Earls grabbed it and gave Pietro a concussion when he placed it on the head, "Hit the power button." Mr. Earls hit a large green 'play' button.

"AHHHH!" Pietro screamed, "THE MUSIC IS AWFUL!"

"Then you ask them a question and they have to answer honestly." Mr. Earls said, "We use it to get honest opinions on new artists."

"Do you like Brittney Spears?" Moonshine asked.

"I love her." Pietro said.

"See it works." Mr. Earls beamed proudly. The others looked less sure.

"Hey why is this switch labeled 'lies' and 'truth' pointed at 'lies?'" Vodka asked pointing at a switch in the back.

"Weird, I wonder how long it's been set like that." Mr. Earls fiddled with it, "Do you like Brittney Spears."

"No." Pietro said passively.

"He's a freak. Everyone who wears the helmet always likes our artists." Mr. Earls said.

"Ten bucks that it was always set on lies." Tequila whispered to Vodka.

"I'm not taking that bet." Vodka muttered.

"Who are you?" Mr. Earls asked.

"Speedster One." Pietro answered.

"Who are you really?"

"Commando Leader."

"WHO ARE YOU!"

"Quicksilver.

"Who are you honestly."

"God's gift to women."

"WHO ARE YOU! YOU ARE WEARING THE HELMET! SO ANSWER HONESTLY!"

"The future ruler of the world."

"ARAGH!"

"Honesty is in the eye of the interrogated." Vodka muttered.

"True, so true." Tequila agreed.

"LISTEN YOU BRAT! TELL ME YOUR NAME!" Mr. Earls shouted. Pietro sat silently. "ANSWER ME!"

"Uh, sir that was a command not a question. You have to phrase it as a question." Moonshine pointed out.

"What is your birth name?" Mr. Earls growled.

"Jesus H. Christ." Pietro said.

"He's mental." Vodka muttered.

"Oh yeah." Tequila agreed, "Think they have free food in this joint?"

"The made how much money last year?" Vodka asked, "They have to have at least one doughnut table." Both brothers left, leaving their other brother and Mr. Earls alone.

"What name did your mom give you when you popped out of her stomach?" Mr. Earls asked.

"..."

"Why aren't you answering me?" Mr. Earls asked.

"I didn't come out of the stomach, I came from her womb. Different part of the body." Pietro answered.

"Grrr..." Mr. Earls growled, "What name did your mom give you at birth?"

"..."

"Now why aren't you answering me?" Mr. Earls groaned.

"My mom died giving birth to me and my sister." Pietro answered.

"WHAT THE HELL! I HAVE THE HONEST HELM ON HIM AND WE STILL HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING FROM HIM!" Mr. Earls shouted at Moonshine.

"We know that he is a fraternal twin." Moonshine muttered.

"Great, real useful. I bet his sister is as crazy as him. Probably worse. She probably is in an asylum." Mr. Earls ranted, "WHAT IS THE NAME YOU PUT ON ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTS!"

"..."

"Now what?" Mr. Earls groaned.

"My dad told me to never sign legal documents."

"What is your dad's name?"

"Sir."

"The other name."

"Master."

"The other one."

"Your highness."

"The other."

"God."

"The other."

"My lord."

"Savior of mutanity, Over thrower of oppression, Magneto, Master of Magnetism, Molder of metal, Mistake of Grandma's, Dead man walking, Terrorist number 24,762 on the SHIELD list, Leader of the Acolytes, Stupid Idiot who took on Apocalypse by himself, Dad, Father, Pa, Mysterious voice on my cell phone..."

"STOP!" Mr. Earls yelled, "God his family's crazy."

"What's your sister's name?" Moonshine asked, Mr. Earls glared at him, "Hey, it's worth a try."

"Scarlett Witch."

"What other names does she have?" Moonshine asked.

"Mistress, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! Goddess according to Toad, Red, Witch, Goth, Freak, I HATE YOU TOO! Death incarnated, Creepy Chick, That one Person..."

"I GET THE POINT!" Moonshine yelled, "Where do you live."

"A condemned building." Pietro answered.

"What is it called?"

"Brotherhood Boarding house, Pigsty, that one building that is falling down, the former mental ward that was converted into a boarding house, the Freak Barn, the-"

"NEVER MIND!" Moonshine yelled, "I give up. Hey where'd my brothers go?"

"They left to find food." Pietro answered.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Jet**

"Coming up on our target." Wanda announced, "How does this thing land?"

"It's on autopilot right?" Lance asked.

"Yeah."

"Then don't mess with it." Lance said, "Why am I just now starting to get sick?"

"Because you just realized that you have never seen this plan land itself, some one has always flown it for the landing." Good Fred analyzed.

"Eragh." Lance puked a little into his mouth.

"Don't worry, I've flown hundreds of flying Sims." Arcade announced grabbing the handles, "I got a high score in Extreme Aerial Stunts Three."

"Extreme? Stunts? Aerial?" Lance's eyes grew wide, "Eep."

"Did you know that few Sims actually have a landing part?" Arcade asked casually, "Most are so absorbed with the in air fighting, that they don't seem to care about the fact that their landing part defies logic. It allows you to land at mach two."

"Mach one means two times the speed of sound right?" Lance asked weakly.

"Yeah so?" Arcade asked hitting the acceleration.

"Here we, landing in their parking lot." Arcade approached the parking lot.

"How are you going to land with all those cars in the way?" Todd asked.

"Cars?" Lance asked, not braving the window.

"Got it covered." Arcade said firing a couple missiles and clear a stretch of parking lot.

"I hate this jet." Lance muttered as Arcade landed at a speed above the recommended landing speed and began to taxi around looking for a spot.

"There's one." Good Fred pointed at a spot.

"Does this qualify as a compact car?" Arcade asked.

"Why not?" Wanda asked.

"Just seems big." Arcade shrugged scraping the paint when he parked in the compact space, "I think I might have hit those golf carts."

"Leave them Xavier's insurance, yo." Todd laughed hopping out of the plane.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Interrogation Room**

"What is you girlfriend's name?" Mr. Earls was getting dispirit.

"Which one?" Pietro asked.

"Any." Mr. Earls sighed.

"Linda."

"Last name?"

"I don't know. I have another girlfriend named Martina."

"What was her last name?"

"McBride? No. Err. Madison? No. Madri- Macnall- Mo-"

"SHUT UP!" Mr. Earls shouted.

"RELEASE HIM!" Wanda kicked in the flimsy door.

"Why is he wearing a helmet?" Lance asked walking in behind her.

"Cousin Eric Dukes?" Good Fred saw Mr. Earls.

"No his evil twin Eric Earls." Mr. Earls said.

"Demon spawn." Good Fred growled.

"How do you untie this thing?" Lance had taken the task of releasing Pietro on himself while Good Fred and Mr. Earls got in a yelling match.

"Here, pull this string through here." Moonshine showed him.

"Why are you helping me free him?" Lance asked.

"He's a pain." Moonshine muttered.

"True."

"YOU'VE ESCAPED AND RESCUED ME!" Pietro shouted the moment the bonds were loose enough for him to rush to hug Wanda.

"Air." Wanda gasped, "Let go."

"THANK YOU SISTER!"

"Let go."

"I'm sorry I let the RIAA kidnap you."

"LET GO!" Wanda shouted throwing Pietro off her, "And I wasn't kidnapped, I came to save you."

"Wait, they never kidnapped you?" Pietro asked.

"No. Did you think they did?" Wanda asked.

"I might have thought that..." Pietro muttered, "Well I am heading back to Bayville." Pietro left in a gust off wind.

"Arcade stop messing with that." Lance ordered noticing that Arcade had found the discarded Honest Helm.

"Fine." Arcade set the helmet down and began to mess with a computer on the wall.

"EARLS ARE EVIL!" Good Fred yelled.

"DUKES ARE EVIL!" Mr. Earls replied.

"Yo, this is sad, where's the hitting and blood?" Todd said.

"BAM BAM BAM!" Lance's cellphone went off to very bad punk rock music. Opening the screen he commented, "Hey it's from Kitty."

"FREDDY STOP PLAYING WITH HIM! WE HAVE TO GET THE X-JET BACK TO KITTY!" Lance shouted.

"I didn't know we had a time limit?" Wanda said.

"Kitty texted me, she's in trouble over letting us borrow it." Lance explained.

"Oh." Wanda nodded, "Arcade stop messing with the wall."

"There are no bugs in this place." Todd commented after searching the corners of the room.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

"You think they will be mad?" Arcade asked as the group disembarked.

"Why would they?" Lance asked glancing at the scratches, "Let's leave before Logan gets here."

"Agreed." Wanda headed straight for the door.

"Let me say hi to Kitty first." Lance started towards the rest of the house.

"Yo, you do not want to do that." Todd stopped him, "Man with metal claws finds you after you hurt his jet and sees you with a student ..." Lance got the point Todd was making.

"Who wants pizza?" Lance asked as they left.

"ME!" Arcade shouted.

"How about Chinese?" Wanda pointed to a passing Chinese delivery man.

"That works." Lance tripped him with a minor quake and Todd grabbed the food.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Magneto's Lair**

"That is one ugly baby." Magneto muttered looking at the baby in Mystique's arms. The baby was composed of metal scales on a vaguely lizard like body that had two tails.

"Quick Pregnancy." Magneto said, "How'd you that?"

"Easy, shape shifting." Mystique said. "Here you hold him." Mystique shoved him into Magneto's arms, "His scales are cutting me." Sure enough her arms were covered in scratches.

"OW! MAKE IT STOP WIGGLING!" Magneto screamed as the baby twisted around in his gripe tearing his arms to shreds.

"Use your powers." Mystique snapped, slowly fixing her arms by shape shifting.

"Oh." Magneto used his powers to hold the squirming kid, "Have you noticed all your kids are messed up? Kurt is a furry demon. Graydor is crazy. And this kid is a lizard.

"At least Kurt is sane. All your kids are crazy." Mystique muttered.

"You didn't raise Kurt so you have no say." Magneto muttered, "And what about Lorna."

"You didn't really raise Lorna. You raised your other kids, they are still crazy." Mystique muttered.

"I helped raise Lorna." Magneto muttered.

"Yeah, and you had to have her mind modified thirty-six times during her childhood." Mystique snapped.

"WHAT!" Said mentally modified teen had been eavesdropping for the entire duration of the conversation.

"Shit." Magneto muttered, "MASTERMIND! GET IN HERE!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Lorna ripped up a section of the base and packaged Mastermind in a sphere before magnetically throwing him through the roof and into the next state.

"Listen Lorna..." Magneto defended.

"SHUT UP!" Lorna shouted grabbing parts of the base with her powers.

"Just when things were getting better." Megan sighed.

"Things were getting better?" Zack asked brainwashing another cat into attacking dogs.

"Everett's not here." Megan pointed out.

"Thank goodness, I hope he was killed." Christine muttered.

"Well I think I'll go on my date now." Laurie muttered, "So I don't get killed in the cross fire."

"Your date isn't for another hour." Zach muttered, "No kitty, you kill dogs, not play with them."

"DIE! DAD!" Lorna screamed, the TV flying past the New Acolytes who were in the Living Room.

"HEY! AMERICAN IDOL WAS ON!" Sabretooth yelled.

"Your date have a younger brother?" Megan asked.

"Probably." Laurie said.

"Good." Megan grabbed her trench coat and ran outside.

"How about a younger sister?" Zach asked, his cat following his orders to run.

☭☭☭☭☭**Jamie3☭☭☭☭☭**

**Europe**

"How the hell?" Jamie #3 groaned, "Why me? Why God? Why doth thou torture me thusly?"

"Great another aspiring poet." A man grunted shoving past Jamie causing several clones to form.

"I can make clones also?" Jamie #3 asked himself, "My brain is bubbling with ideas."

"That's the water. I told you not to drink it." A tour guide, who had mistaken Jamie #3 for a part of his group, said. Jamie #3 stared at the guide.

"I thought Europe had better environmental standards than the US?" Jamie #3 said.

"We do, this is city water though. Never drink a City's water, they are all bad." The guide said before redirecting himself towards the group, "And here we have a piece of modern art? Wait that's a half demolished building ... never mind."

⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖**Fini⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖**

_**Author's Notes:**_

1: Holmes is not based on Sherlock, he is based on the cop at my school. The one who couldn't figure out that the person on the cameras (exiting the bathroom right before the fire alarm went off) was the one who started it.

**The next chapter will be very late. I am going to Canada, where they have no Internet (dial-up/DSL/satellite anything)**

**Please Review**


	26. Sept 19, Internat Talk Like a Pirate Day

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but free will.**

**September 19 - Tuesday - International Talk Like a Pirate Day**

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood Port**

"Ahoy me mateys." Lance swaggered into the room and grabbed a pitcher and took a drink, "That be some mighty fine grog."

"Lance does know he just drank green water from our rusted sink faucet, right?" Wanda asked. Lance turned the color of the water.

"Aye, he does now." Good Fred commented.

"ARR! Prepare to walk the plank ye scurvy scally wags." Todd jumped in the door brandishing a wooden sword.

"We don't have a plank." Wanda muttered.

"Yo- I mean - Arr then ye be swabbing the decks till yer hands be brown with splinters." Todd said.

"Are you telling me to clean?" Wanda asked her voice growing slightly deeper, "Just because I am a woman does not mean I clean."

"Obey yer captain ye bilge rat." Todd said, the pirate speech prevented him from recognizing that he was insulting Wanda. Wanda realized it was an insult. Due to the 61st law of the universe Wanda had to hex Todd into a wall.

"Avast ye yellowed land lubbers ..." Todd moaned.

"Why is he talking like that?" Wanda asked.

"Arr, today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ye be needing to talk like a pirate." Lance said before adding, "Trust me it is easier to go with it."

"It is?" Wanda asked as Arcade swaggered in.

"Aye." Lance admitted.

"What be the bung hole puking up this morning?" Arcade asked.

"What did ye just ask?" Wanda asked.

"Ship-hand Arrrcade asked about this morning's gruel." Lance explained.

"Arr, we be feasting on stale Chinese food." Wanda said.

"AVAST! Captain Silver Hair is on deck, stand at attention ye sorry excuses for sea men!" Pietro declared as he marched into the room.

"ARR! Who made ye captain of this here port?" Lance demanded.

"I did, if ye have problems with the captain ye may consult my cold blade." Pietro drew a wooden sword.

"AVAST! YE SHALL PERISH UNDER ME BLADE!" Todd shouted jumping from his wall towards Pietro with his sword brandished above his head, "None can stand the blade of Dread Pirate Slime!"

"YE SHALL FIND THE WAY TO THE LOWEST CIRCLE OF HELL MUTINEER! ARRAGH!" Pietro shouted his sword caught Todd's and he tossed him over his shoulder.

"YE SHALL PAY FOR YER GRIEVANCES!" Good Fred shouted, "TASTE ME BLADE OF STEEL!" Good Fred also drew a wooden sword.

"ARAGH!" Pietro shouted and ran to the far side of the room.

"Ye be a coward." Good Fred insulted Pietro.

"ARRAGH!" Pietro shouted and attempted to attack a person with invulnerable skin.

The fighting continued for several more minutes before Pietro admitted defeat: "Arr, I admit defeat for now. Arr, but I be seeking a crew to follow me."

"Arr ye be using 'arr' too many times land lubber." Wanda smirked.

"Arr, what are ye talking about ... arr?" Pietro said.

"Ye should only be using 'arr' every other sentence at most." Wanda said.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

Logan's alarm clock woke him promptly at 4:00 am. Usually Logan never set his clock, he just woke at 4:05 am by himself. The few times he sets his clock his a way to remind him of the specific dangers a day brings. He once set it for Kitty's driving test, a time Kitty entered a cook off, when Jean was forced to retake her driving test after a mass of anti-mutant legalities striped her license from her, when he had to go talk to Rahne's adopted mom, when he tried once again to convince Evan to come back, a camping trip ... That sort of thing.

It took Logan a few minutes to remember what today was. Today is Kurt's favorite day of the year next to Christmas and his anniversary with Amanda. "Oh no..." Logan's eyes went wide and he ran from his room hoping to eat breakfast and to be halfway to Canada by the time Kurt woke up. Last year, and every other year he has been at the institute, Kurt organized various tortures for Logan. All the students speaking like pirates, reprogramming the Danger Room to a seascape, destruction of property, pillaging of teacher's houses, and the worse was the sword fights.

Sadly for Logan, Kurt had anticipated this move and was waiting downwind down the hall. When Kurt saw the door open to Logan's room he bamfed over to him, grabbed him and disappeared to the Danger Room.

"KURT!" Logan shouted his claws shooting out, attempting to slice the evil fur-ball into tiny-bloody-furry pieces. His claws only cut through air.

"AVAST! Logan's here." Bobby smiled, "Are ye going to start our session?" Any time Bobby wanted to train was a sign of trouble.

"Yes." Logan sighed, "We'll do an obstacle course." Logan left the room resigning to the fact that his obstacle course had probably been changed into a program involving pirates.

Indeed it had been. Instead of being a swamp with various deadly objects, it was the island from Pirate's of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest. The grin on Jamie's face told Logan who had reprogrammed it. Unfortunately Ororo wouldn't let Logan punish her favorite kid. "I hate the little brat. If I wasn't so conductive to lightning, I could actually punish him." Logan muttered, "But I can't let the students know that Jamie is immune. I have to pretend I don't know who did it, or else the others will make Jamie do everything." Logan turned on the loudspeaker, "WHEN I FIND WHOEVER MESSED WITH MY PROGRAM THEY WILL CLEAN THE BLACKBIRD AND THE X-VAN AFTER KITTY'S DRIVING LESSONS!" Logan was glad to see Jamie pale at that threat, he hadn't yet figured out his immunity from punishment.

Logan groaned as his students went around killing weird fish things. He had to admit the fish things would make good enemies in other simulations, but he would never let Jamie know that they were a good idea. Logan glanced around the control room. He saw the difficulty control. He proceeded to do what any red-blooded Canadian would do to get revenge; he ramped the difficulty to full. The revenge wasn't as satisfactory as it would be if the students were in a different program. Instead of the monster fighting harder a weird ship surfaced by the island.

"Great, Jamie thought of every little detail." Logan grumbled.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Bayville High**

"Why are we here?" Todd asked as Lance's jeep pulled up to the flag.

"You'll see." Lance laughed and ran to his trunk. He pulled a Jolly Rodger from the trunk and rose it on the flag pole. Just under the American flag; he had replaced the New York flag. The New York State flag he threw in a handy nearby trash can.

"It's beautiful." Todd sniffled back some tears, "Do we have any cannons we can set off?"

"N-" Lance began only for Pietro to speed away and return with a small fake cannon stolen from the local pawn shop. (A/N 1)

"Did ye get any gunpowder?" Lance asked.

"Arr, I be getting that now." Pietro answered, he ran to the hunting shop and got some of the powder used in muzzle loaded shotguns that are popular among some hunters.

"How much are we putting in?" Todd asked grabbing the cans of powder.

"Who be knowing the amount needed?" Pietro asked.

"Arr, who cares? Load it all or walk the plank." Lance laughed tipping the lightweight cannon up so that all the powder could be poured in.

"I think I'll stand over there." Wanda muttered walking far away from the boys."

"Arr, are we to be using a rock as a cannon ball?" Lance asked.

"No, we aren't wanting to cause any damage." Pietro said.

"Arr, I'll be keeping the wretch company." Arcade said walking towards Wanda.

"What did you call me?" Wanda asked.

"It's pirate for woman, it's not an insult." Arcade explained, "I don't think anyway ... Well pirates insulted everyone so they didn't really insult anyone ..."

"You don't even know what you said?" Wanda asked.

"Arr, that's right." Arcade admitted.

"AVAST! MAN YOUR STATIONS! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Lance yelled. In the short time it took the fuse to burn down the small bit of self-preservation instinct in Todd, Pietro and Lance kicked in. All three hid behind Good Fred.

Surprisingly the rusted tube of metal dressed up as a cannon ruptured when the gunpowder underwent a rapid chemical change. The pieces of metal and the proximity to the explosion caused the flagpole to fall over.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Kelly's Office**

"AHH! THE MUTANTS ARE COMING FOR ME!" Kelly screamed.

"Arr, then you should stop pissing of super powered teenagers with no responsible adult looking over them." Dorothy muttered.

Kelly ignored Dorothy and ran to the window, "AHHH!" He jumped back from the window as the Jolly Rodger adorned flagpole fell through his window. "WHAT DID THEY DO?"

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Former Flagpole Stand**

"Arr, are we to be running before the cops come?" Pietro asked.

"Aye." Lance stared at the broken flagpole, "That did not work."

"Aye." Todd agreed.

"Arr, why am I always the one who be taking the explosions?" Good Fred asked.

"Ye have invulnerable skin." Lance muttered, "Arr, hurry aboard. I hear sirens." He jumped into the jeep that luckily had not been hit by any flying cannon shards.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Driving Away From the School at High Speed.**

"... So stay of Highway 150, there are over a hundred cars in a massive pile up cause by several drivers jumping when they heard a loud boom ..." The radio blared out the news.

"Arragh, Now what?" Arcade asked, "We can't head to school today."

"Drive around town till we be finding something?" Good Fred suggested.

"Arr, not at these gas prices we won't be." Lance muttered, "Three dubloons and TWENTY-FIVE CENTS!"

"Why can't we go back to school?" Good Fred asked.

"... in news, that is completely unrelated to the explosion heard earlier, Bayville High school has been canceled due to a large explosion knocking the flagpole through the front doors. There are no suspects at this time, but Principal Kelly can be quoted as saying 'It is those evil mutants, they are out to get me. Kill all mutants.'" The reporter read without emotion, "This is the same Kelly that had an embarrassing failed attempt at entering politics."

"Arr is that be answering yer question?" Wanda asked.

"Aye." Good Fred said, "I be getting hungry."

"Ye always be hungry." Pietro snickered.

"Ye be annoying." Good Fred said.

"I AM NOT ANNOYING!" Pietro shouted.

"Arr, ye are." Arcade said.

"AM NOT!"

"Are too." Wanda said.

"Avast, fast food restaurant dead ahead!" Lance pointed at a McDonald's.

"Didn't we just have breakfast?" Wanda asked.

"Arr. What of it?" Arcade confirmed and asked, "They be giving away new toys."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Micky D's**

"Avast, hand over twenty happy meals, extra happy." Good Fred ordered.

"That'll be a hundred dollars..." The guy said.

"Arr, this be all the money I need." Good Fred held up a fist.

"... but today we happen to be a having a special, first twenty happy meals free." The man gulped, "Why aren't you in school."

"Arr, pirates ain't be needing no schooling." Good Fred growled.

"Pi- I don't want to know." The man sighed, "I am so going to get fired for this."

"YO HO YO HO! A PIRATES LIFE ME!" Pietro and Lance sang as they raided the ketchup packets.

"ARR! WE GOT THE BOOTY!" Todd laughed grabbing every napkin in the display rack.

"Why does Toad grab the products related to cleaning?" Wanda asked.

"I see some booty I want." Pietro snickered before running up to a college girl who was skipping class, "Avast, my name is Pietro."

"Your voice is painfully high pitched." The girl muttered.

"Arr, I have a singer's voice." Pietro said.

"Riight..." The girl stared at him, "What music do you listen to?"

"Whatever is on Disney Radio." Pietro said.

"Freak." The girl muttered and left the restaurant.

"Arr what did I say?" Pietro asked.

"Ye are an idiot." Wanda said.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SCHOOL IS CANCELED!'" Logan screamed at a terrified Xavier.

"The news said something about an explosion..." Xavier explained.

"Why today of all days. Any other day would be okay..." Logan moaned.

"AVAST ME MATEYS! WE ARE TO PILLAGE THE KITCHEN!" Kurt yelled waving around a wooden sword.

"What did he just say?" Logan asked.

"I'm not sure." Xavier muttered.

"ARR! GET BACK HERE YE LAND LOVING BILE RAT!" Twenty Jamies chased after Rahne, who had raided his room.

"I have yet to figure out why they do this every year." Logan muttered.

"Something about the greatest holiday next to Christmas." Xavier shrugged, "Best to ignore them and hope they don't break anything more than usual." His brave words were accompanied by a loud expensive sounding crash.

"Probably another family heirloom." Logan grunted.

"Everything in this house is an heirloom." Xavier muttered.

"How is that possible, the entire mansion was destroyed once with everything in it?" Logan said.

"I got it all out of one of my family's other mansions." Xavier said.

"Oh," Logan nodded, "Makes sense."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood House**

"Arr, I be planning on how to gain treasure." Pietro growled to the apathetic mutants and human.

"I SAID TREASURE!" Pietro shouted.

"Arr?" Arcade asked.

"Aye." Pietro confirmed.

"Arr, where is this treasure?" Arcades asked.

"The vile home of the land lubing X-Rats." Pietro laughed.

"What are we stealing?" Lance asked.

"There clothes, while they have their afternoon practice. That way they have nothing to wear." Pietro laughed.

"How is that treasure?" Lance asked.

"Jubilee's and Kitty's bras." Pietro said.

"What are we waiting for?" Lance jumped from his favorite chair and ran to his car.

"I am not going to go steal other girls' clothes." Wanda said.

"It'll be fun." Pietro said.

"No."

"Arr, ye can hex Ms. Perfect's closet into multiple shades of black." Pietro said again.

"Tempting..."

"Ye can burn Stick Lad's clothes."

"Very tempting..."

"Arr, ye can put itching powder into the Fuzzy Lad's closet making everyone think he has fleas." Pietro finished.

"Aye." Wanda admitted, "For once ye have had a good idea."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**X-Mansion**

"I am going to kill who ever put this together." Logan growled in the control room, "Why am I the evil pirate?"

"I think it's good that the students are more involved in their training." Ororo commented.

"They didn't make you into a evil undead monster." Logan growled, "You got to be a goddess."

"That is beside the point." Ororo said.

"Not really." Logan muttered.

Meanwhile at the gate the Brotherhood devised their method of attack. "Arr, I say we just charge it." Good Fred suggested.

"And get fried by them lasers?" Wanda asked, "We should have Pietro try every combination on that keypad." She pointed at a pass code entrance pad.

"Arr, even for me that will take a long time." Pietro said, "Its numbers don't respond that quick."

"Then let's have Arcade hack it again." Lance said.

"Wouldn't they have changed their security programs by now?" Todd asked.

"Arr, ain't a problem for me." Arcade laughed and promptly pulled apart the entrance pad and hooked a small PDA up to it. "See same password as last time. Arr they be needing to make their security officer walk the plank."

"Huh?" Good Fred asked.

"It's open." Arcade simplified as the gates swung open with a sigh of content.

"Aye, now where is Blue-Lad's room?" Wanda crackled as she marched up the long drive.

"Where's Kitty's?" Lance asked no one. Pietro didn't bother asking about Jubilee's, he just checked all the rooms.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Danger Room**

Logan glanced around the room at the joyous teenagers, "Why can't they be this excited about my training programs?"

"Your training programs involve lasers, buzz saws, and killer robots." Ororo pointed out.

"Oh right..." Logan grinned sheepishly.

"Logan, is your security still working?" Xavier asked out of the blue.

"Let me check," Logan fiddled with the controls, "No..."

"That's what I thought, the Brotherhood is upstairs." Xavier said.

"WHAT?" Logan shouted, he grabbed the loudspeaker microphone and proceeded to shout instructions to the students.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Kurt's Room**

"There." Wanda hexed all the clothes back into their proper piles on the floor, "Itchy Powder is Satan's gift to furry people."

"VHAT ARE YE DOING IN MY ROOM!" Kurt had teleported to his room when he had been told that the Brotherhood where is the X-men's rooms.

"Stealing yer boxers, land lubber." Wanda said with a straight face.

"VHAT DID YER CALL ME YE SCURVY YELLOW BELLIED BILE RAT!" Kurt yelled not noticing the joke about boxers. His insult was met with a hex. Wanda left at a pace that would be called a jog in someone less dignified.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Kitty and Rogue's Room**

"Lance wouldn't do anything." Kitty said.

"Lance would sneak into your room. Besides the Professor said they were in our rooms." Rogue panted as she ran.

"Lance wouldn-" Kitty cut of as she phased through the door and say Lance comparing different bras.

Rogue slammed the door open not expecting Kitty to still be standing in front of it. Let alone in solid form. "Oops" Rogue muttered as Kitty collapsed.

"Kitty?" Piotr walked up behind Rogue, "Is Lance ...?" Piotr turned very, very red.

"Hehe, yup." Rogue laughed.

"Look I can explain ..." Lance said.

"Really?" Rogue asked.

"No, but I felt I should say that." Lance shrugged.

"Lance?" Kitty woke up, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM YOU FREAK!"

"Kitty I can explain." Lance said backing up slowly.

"LIKE OF COURSE YOU CAN! YOU'RE A PERVERTED LITTLE HOODLUM!"

"Hey now-"

"PIOTR WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS!" Piotr put down one of the bras Lance had discarded. "YOU TOO!" Kitty screamed, "OUT BOTH OF YOU! WHEN I TELL MR. LOGAN YOU BOTH WILL BE DEAD! DID YOU HERE ME DEAD!"

"I better go..." Lance said as he slowly went around Kitty, when he got to the side of her that the door was on he bolted. Piotr followed very closely.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Kitchen**

"Food, food, food... Good Fred chanted.

"You have no manners." Ororo muttered not even pretending to get him to leave, "At least someone likes my leftovers."

"Manners are for land lubbers." Good Fred grunted.

"I've seen lions with more manners." Ororo said.

"Arr? I am a wee bit bigger than a lil' kitty." Good Fred said, "Now stop distracting me."

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Jubilee's Room**

"AIYEEEE!" Jubilee screamed. She screamed because she broke a nail. Once she got over her nail she realized Pietro was rummaging through her very personal items, "AIYEEEE!"

"Arr, stop screaming, I know it ain't every day a God is in yer room." Pietro said.

"GET OUT!" Jubilee screamed.

"Arr, this is a pantie and bra ra-" Pietro didn't finish as the moment Jubilee realized he wasn't leaving she attacked with her pretty little fireworks that burn when you are on the wrong side of them.

"WHAT DID I DO!" Pietro screamed over and over again while Jubilee blocked his exit.

"ARE YE REALLY SO DENSE AS TO NOT KNOW?" Jubilee screamed in his ear. In the short amount of time that Jubilee was distracted Pietro ran out the door an back home.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Rec Room**

"AVAST! GET OFF THE CEILING!" Ray shouted at Todd.

"ARR, YE SHALL NEVER CATCH CAPTAIN TOAD!" Todd shouted. Ray tried to hit him with various objects and electricity leaving only dents and burns on the ceiling.

"GET DOWN YE VILE LAND LUBING BILE RAT!" Ray continued to toss objects and electricity up at Todd.

"HA HA YE CAN'T CATCH CAPTAIN TOAD!"

"YES I CAN!" Ray shouted losing control of his powers and causing several electronics to get fried. His electricity also backed up through the building's wiring and fried all the breakers plunging the house into darkness.

'RAY!' Xavier's mental shout made everyone freeze, 'HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOCK THE OUTLETS?'

'I lost count.' Ray mentally replied.

**XxXxXxXxXBHXxXxXxXxX**

**Brotherhood House**

"That went well." Pietro said to his troops.

"Arr me back hurts." Lance grumbled from his favorite chair.

"Yer own fault for stealing Kitty's clothes." Arcade said.

"Aye, tis my fault." Lance admitted, "Who knew she wore those kinda clothes..." Lance's face slowly went to that stupid look he gets when dreaming about Kitty, "Purrty Kitty..."

"He's gone." Todd laughed.

"ARR I GOT FOOD!" Good Fred walked into the room with the X-men's refrigerator.

"Hehe," Pietro laughed and grabbed a glass of soda and raised it in a mock toast, "To the X-rats, for providing us with dinner."

Todd raised an empty soda can, "To that idiot, Ray something or another, for blowing up their breaker box."

"TO PIRATES!" Arcade whooped also lifting a beverage.

"To food, and Ororo for not stopping me from taking this. I wonder what she was saying about getting a new fridge in a different color..." Good Fred raised a two liter bottle of coke.

"To Kitty..." Lance said without changing his facial expression.

"Whatever." Wanda raised her glass.

**XxXxXxXMagnetoXxXxXxX**

**Magneto's Lagoon**

"AVAST YE LAND LUBBERS!" Zach ran through the wrecked building shouting.

"I have lost another child." Magneto groaned.

"I'm sure you'll find another one that you never heard about or have mistreated in a few years." Mystique reassured him, "And don't even think of trying to raise my kid." She clutched her freakish baby to her chest, "Who's a cute wittle boy. You are. Yes you are."

"Scary, Mystique cooing a little demon." Magneto muttered.

"No wonder Graydor turned out so bad," Sabretooth muttered, "She's his mother."

**???????Polaris???????**

**Northern Canada**

"I am going to kill him." Lorna muttered staring at the northern lights, "Kill kill kill." She slowly shifted the magnetic field slightly to cause the the lights to form the image of a gun. (A picture taken by a drunk person was later used as an example of perfect photo-shopping and an example of aliens-trying-to-use-subliminal-brainwashing-to-cause-a-war-between-Canada-and-the-US). She continued to mutter: "Kill kill kill... Wait I have a sister that wants to kill him too. Guess I have stronger family bonds than I thought." Polaris stood up to take flight in search of help to kill her dad: "Where does she live again? Some hell-hole of a town..."

☭☭☭☭☭**Jamie3☭☭☭☭☭**

**Atlantic Ocean**

"I STILL hate pirates." Jamie muttered, "I hate the ending of the third movie more."

⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖**Fini⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖**

_**Author's Notes:**_

_1: You can find anything at the pawn shop in my town. Cannons, TVs, counterfeit money ... I mean "play" money, motorcycles, mopeds, segways (broken and working, also possibly stolen), go-carts, WWII bomb shells ..._

_Please Review_

_My excuse for the delay on this chapter is: new (1968) car that needed some minor repairs (battery, spark plugs, fuel filter, air filter ...), viewing several hundred band videos to add them to my school's band website (most parents can not get good videos), and a general lack of ideas._

_Any Strangeness in this chapter is blamed on me using my only free time to write. Between 11 PM and 2 AM. For some reason my Internet turns off at 12:05 AM exactly every day."_


End file.
